


Born from Stone (The Lost Chapters)

by Ellemphriem



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Action/Adventure, Drama, F/M, Family, Love, Romance, Secrets
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2019-10-02 22:42:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 52
Words: 456,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17272553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellemphriem/pseuds/Ellemphriem
Summary: As Thorin and Eilin's loving family grows bigger, the continuous flow of villains who declare they are Eilin's father will cause a rancor between the Royal couple. While the King of the North is worried about the ulterior motives of the endless candidates and the Queen's emotional distress, Thrárin and Durin will be drawn in the shadows by someone who holds precious secrets.





	1. First Steps

**Author's Note:**

> \- I am not a native English speaker so please comment on my mistakes kindly and I will do the best I can to improve myself. Thank you *.*
> 
> \- This story is a sequel to the original story Born from Stone. If you haven't read that one, don't try to go through this for you will feel lost. Try reading the original first.
> 
> \- I decided to write the first sequel of all my stories, because there are few but very dedicated readers that are asking me for more Theilin. I don't even know what I am getting myself into here and I don't know how it will go, but I haven't ever left a story unfinished so I am hoping that will be the case with this story also.
> 
> \- I am well aware that I am going to be writing only for a handful of people and if that, so any words of encouragement will mean a lot. Enjoy *.*
> 
> \- This story will take place in two parallel timelines exactly like the whole first part of Born from Stone with flashbacks. Those flashbacks start almost immediately after the birth of the twins. The current timeline runs 8 years after their birth, 3 years after the birth of Thrarin, before the feast of Hobbiton and the conception of Orin.

 

* * *

_Thorin felt the air whiplashing his long hair upon his face and gritted his teeth in determination. He squeezed his thighs on the saddle and released the reins. He reached back and drew an arrow from the quiver feeling his heart palpitating from the thrill of the chase. He hadn't hunted with a bow and arrow for too long and this chase had enraptured him more than anything he had undertaken during the last several months. He could see the slender legs of the deer flickering on and off between the thick barks of the trees and he pulled back the arrow, keeping his upper body impressively steady despite the frenzied gallop of his horse. His eyes thinned, his breath slowed down and every sound around him muted as he concentrated intensely on his game a mere moment before releasing the arrow. It found the target on the shoulder and Thorin's nose flared in anger. That is when a stray arrow found it on the hind leg and the deer released a panicked bleat and lost its footing making Thorin's eyes glimmer briefly in victory before its legs became steady once more and allowed it to jump messily above a fallen bark and take another direction._

_Thorin grasped his reins and directed his horse after that perilous trail when he heard Dwalin's voice coming from in front of him. "It's going to the river! We have it cornered!"_

_The King's eyes saw the deer's hind legs and tail between several barks and forced his horse to ride faster. He managed to intercept it further off and released the reins once more, pulling another arrow from his quiver. He inhaled deeply, held his breath, squinted his eyes, aimed and shot. The arrow found it on the throat and send it rolling on its side. Thorin sprang off his horse and dashed towards his game. He pulled another arrow just as the deer was trying to stand up in order to escape its grim fate, but Dwalin's arrow found it on the other side of the throat and brought it down. Thorin reached it as it was trying to get up again and without any traces of hesitation shot the final arrow between its eyes. It emptied on the forest bed with a groan of pain and then stopped moving altogether. Thorin rested his bow on the ground and leaned his forearm on it. He was panting for breath, but a rather pleased smile was painted on his lips._

_Dwalin alighted next to the deer and dropped the bow on his shoulder. "Cannot deny this baby made our lives hard..."_

_Thorin tilted his head. "I hadn't had such an interesting game for years."_

_Dwalin huffed and leaned down to retrieve their arrows from the dead animal. "Well, prior to the conquest of Erebor you were hunting almost everyday to provide our company with food."_

_Thorin pursed his lips. "After the battle I never had the opportunity to hunt...as for later...things became even more impossible as you very well know."_

_Dwalin gave him his arrows and wiped the sweat from his brow. "Well...that's children for you..."_

_Thorin closed his eyes briefly and smiled. "After the twins I don't have time for anything. Never mind about fun."_

_Dwalin nodded in understanding. "How come did Eilin allow you to come hunting?"_

_Thorin raised his brow sternly. "I didn't know I was a prisoner."_

_Dwalin sneered. "Every man is a prisoner to his family no matter how independent and strong he may be. Did you just walk out without talking about it with Eilin?"_

_Thorin huffed. "Of course I spoke to her."_

_"You mean asked her..." Dwalin corrected._

_Thorin felt his fur rippling. "And you didn't ask Loa...who are you kidding?"_

_Dwalin pursed his lips. "Well I am a willing prisoner also...who told you I wasn't. Choices my friend. We lost part of our freedom, but we gained two amazing women. In your case you also got blessed with two amazing kids. Would you trade that just to brag that you don't have to ask anyone before going hunting anymore?"_

_Thorin's lips curled in a side smile and he rubbed his forehead. "No...never."_

_Dwalin kneeled down and picked up the deer. He dropped it on his shoulder and made it for his horse. "Everyone knows that you are torn between your family and running this city and you have no free time. I never expected to see you at the gates this morning with bow at hand and a quiver on your back full of arrows. How come?"_

_Thorin grabbed the lower part of the deer and placed it on his shoulder, taking half of its weight from Dwalin. "Farin didn't let me sleep well at night. He couldn't stop fidgeting in his crib and he was waking Rhianaye up. I took him in our bed and he slept there."_

_"So?" Dwalin frowned as he began tying up the upper body of the deer on his horse._

_Thorin brought his horse next to his and began tying the lower part on it. "Well usually when either kid ends up in our bed, I end up out of it."_

_Dwalin harked. "There is only one way a man will get kicked out of his wife's bed, right?"_

_Thorin nodded with a playful smirk. "Farin ended up taking up most of my side perpendicular and then Eilin also sprawled on the lower half and I ended up on the recliner again."_

_Dwalin pulled the ropes tight and gave him a side look of amusement. "You don't sound half bothered about that."_

_Thorin flicked his shoulder. "Ever since they were born I had issues sleeping quietly in my bed. Either they are waking me up with their crying or they are taking my place. I don't mind."_

_Dwalin leaned his elbow on his saddle as Thorin secured the deer on his side firmly. "_ _I understand. So what happened to convince you to ask your wife for a small break...recliner was too rough on your back?"_

_Thorin having finished with the deer, took hold of his horse's reins and pulled himself on the saddle as Dwalin did the same. "I tried to sleep, but I ended up looking at Rhianaye in her crib for what seemed forever. I was counting her breaths and that kept me up almost all night. I decided to come out to your hunting invitation before I drive myself insane with all these thoughts that keep congesting my mind about her well being."_

_Dwalin frowned at him. "I thought the kiddo was breathing well now for several months, right?"_

_Thorin eyes fluttered and he nodded. "She does, but still the fear is embedded rather deep."_

_Dwalin flicked his brow and his lips curled down, but he remained silent._

_Thorin felt the need to clarify. "She may be breathing well, but still she is far behind in comparison to Farin in every milestone."_

_Dwalin looked at him._

_Thorin kept his horse close to his friend's as their animals shared the burden of the deer between them. "They are almost ten full moon circles old now Dwalin and Farin is already able to roll over and pull himself into a seated position all on his own. Actually two days ago he pulled himself up by the help of the armchair and stood without assistance for several moments. He is trying to take his first steps and Loa says that he is doing it rather early on. He has already said dada several times over, which pisses off Eilin and his appetite is monumental, as is his size. I mean you've seen my son." He couldn't hide the pride in his voice at that moment._

_Dwalin smiled. "I've seen him and I have admired him along with the rest of your kingdom not only once, but many times. Lad is going to grow up to be as impressive as you, if not more. Mark my words."_

_Thorin's brow clouded and he gave him a curt nod. "How about his sister though? She cannot even hold her head up, never mind sit up unassisted or pull herself up. She can barely roll over. She is always so thin and frail. She barely eats anything, haven't you noticed?"_

_Dwalin pursed his lips. "She is a tremendously beautiful baby with black curly hair and her mother's eyes. She's always rosy cheeked and she rarely cries, in comparison to Farin who raises hell all the time. Why do you care of her size and of her milestones. Isn't she healthy?"_

_Thorin nodded sadly. "Loa says she is very healthy and that each child takes its own time to develop. I mustn't compare them."_

_Dwalin puffed up proudly. "Loa is a wise woman. Of course you shouldn't compare them. You will make yourself go mad and also drive these poor kiddos crazy in the future."_

_Thorin's lips upturned in a thoughtful smile._

_"What does Eilin say about your overbearing solicitude with the children?" Dwalin looked at him as they led their horses on the High Road next to the River Running._

_"She tells me to calm down and that Rhianaye is special. That one day our little precious Gem will erupt with such brilliance that she will blind the world with it." Thorin's voice turned wistful._

_"Your wife is right." Dwalin rejoined calmly and looked at him carefully._

_Thorin's eyes thinned as he looked at the impressive gates of Erebor and at the monstrous fires that burned at their flanks. He felt the soft fall breeze blowing his wavy locks away from his face. It was loaded with the scent of the freshly watered earth as it had been raining all through the night. "She acts bravely in order to calm me down, but I know she worries too. I have noticed her whispering to Rhianaye to call me dada like her brother and I've seen many tears pooling in her eyes when Rhianaye smiles back at her without making any sound at all."_

_"I won't pretend that I understand how it is to worry about the well being of your child..." Dwalin averted his eyes._

_Thorin pursed his lips. "Sometimes it feels overwhelming that's all and I need a break."_

_Dwalin smiled at him. "So today was one of those times were everything became a bit too much?"_

_Thorin nodded. "It feels good to get away if only for a while."_

_Dwalin's lips curled upwards. "I missed hunting with you..."_

_Thorin looked at him with a quiet side smile. "Me too."_

_Dwalin stopped and raised his brow. "Actually after the birth of the twins I missed drinking with you, training with you, singing with you...seeing you..." He left the insinuation to float free above them._

_Thorin grabbed it and drove it home. "I am sorry, but I honestly have barely time to sleep."_

_Dwalin's lips twisted and he looked at his friend vexed. "I know, but I do miss our camaraderie a lot."_

_Thorin rubbed his forehead. "Just give me time Dwalin. They will grow up...finally." That was the first time his friend discerned a tone of exhaustion in the King's voice._

_Dwalin chuckled. "If a new one doesn't come to take their place..."_

_Thorin looked up sharply. "I don't want to sound like a jerk, but that sounds nightmarish to me right now."_

_Dwalin raised his brows. "You do sound like a jerk."_

_Thorin's lips twitched uncomfortably._

_This time Dwalin laughed out loud. "Another child scares you shitless, doesn't it?"_

_Thorin rubbed his face and nodded. "Don't tell Eilin that. I thought I was ready for fatherhood because I have raised Frerin, Dis, Fili and Kili, but I had no idea of the immense burden of raising your own children."_

_Dwalin scratched his beard. "Oh, now really don't let Eilin hear you speak like that...!"_

_Thorin raised his hand. "Don't misunderstand me. My family is beautiful and I wouldn't have changed it for anything, but another kid...so soon...no..." He sounded very decided._

_Dwalin flicked his shoulder. "How can you stop them from coming I wonder."_

_Thorin's brow wrinkled as he looked at the gates. Eilin was walking down the steps holding both babies in her arms. Dis was next to her. "Loa told us to count days."_

_Dwalin frowned. "I know that you corroded fossil, but nothing can guarantee you won't get her pregnant again..."_

_Thorin winced. "We are so tired we barely have the mood for intimacy. That in combination with our worry about Rhianaye has minimised all our chances which is something I don't mind at this moment."_

_Dwalin sighed deeply. "Oh, that sounds nasty..."_

_Thorin raised his brow. "Well...welcome to fatherhood, right?"_

_Dwalin cringed and didn't try to hide it. "And that sounds deeply disappointed."_

_Thorin pursed his lips. "I miss my wife terribly, but right now others are more important than me and her and I am here to take that responsibility head on."_

_Dwalin nodded slowly. "I know my friend...just promise me something."_

_Thorin looked at him as they approached the steps. "Sure..."_

_"Find more time to share some mead with me, okay?" Dwalin sounded more emotional than Thorin was expecting._

_He smiled widely. "I will, I promise."_

_"Today was amazing! Hadn't seen you hunt so passionately for a long time..." Dwalin added._

_"I may be lacking a lot of sleep, but I wouldn't have changed my decision to come hunting with you today, believe me." Thorin grinned._

_Dwalin grasped his forearm and squeezed appreciatively, something that Thorin reciprocated when Eilin's voice interrupted them._

_"What took you so long my love? I thought it was a small hunting endeavour..." She walked up to the horse, dressed in an airy crimson dress, but having forgotten her scarf, the opening on the bust was quite revealing. Her very long red hair were free flowing around her thin figure and her cheeks were rosy as was her nose._

_He looked up at her partially worried, but when he saw Rhianaye sucking on the string of Eilin's vest calmly and Farin pulling her hair playfully he felt reassured that nothing was seriously wrong even though it was too early for her to be up along with both babies. "We drifted further off to the borders of Mirkwood following this beauty." -He pointed behind him at the horses carrying the deer- "Is everything okay?" He frowned at her._

_Dis intervened with a happy disposition. "Everything okay?! Everything is more than okay! Get off that horse brother, we got amazing news!"_

_Eilin bit her lower lip and nodded at him._

_Thorin gazed at Dwalin briefly with a confused smile and alighted, giving all control of both horses to his best friend. He came over to his wife and his arms wrapped around her waist drawing her in. "What's up?" He rejoined with a smile and snuggled his nose on the croon of her neck._

_Eilin giggled. "It's Farin..." She murmured pleased._

_Thorin mouth left Eilin's prickly skin and found his daughter's arm. He offered it several butterfly kisses and then kissed her cheek, making sure his beard was scratching against her soft skin. "Hello baby Gem, how are you?" He whispered and Rhianaye grasped his hair and pulled him back as uncontrollable giggles erupted from her small chest._

_Eilin laughed along with her daughter and passed her over to her father. "She slept very quietly all through the night!" She said proudly._

_Thorin took Rhianaye in his arms and buried his large finger in her armpit, something that drove the poor baby crazy with laughter. "I know I was watching her all night. Didn't I, my precious Gem?" he cooed her. Rhianaye bumped her head on his shoulder and opened up her toothless mouth to nibble on his tunic. Her small fists grabbed her father firmly, something that made his heart melt and he cupped the whole side of her face and caressed her curly hair._

_Eilin placed Farin down and he sat down unassisted, reaching out to pull out the wet grass that was around him with his fists. His clever eyes were observing everything and even Dwalin had admitted that those azure eyes of Thorin's baby boy had a very unnerving quality for his age. "You didn't sleep again tonight?" Eilin looked up at her husband with traces of worry in her voice._

_Thorin kissed Rhianaye's cheek and felt her saliva running down his shoulder as she decided to abandon his tunic and nibbled straight onto his skin. "I couldn't."_

_Eilin frowned troubled. "Are you feeling alright, my love?"_

_Thorin gifted her with such peaceful smile that all her worries got dispelled. "Yes, just my mind is overworking sometimes."_

_Eilin sighed in relief and beamed up to him. "You need to rest today. I will keep the kids away from our rooms and you can go sleep now a little. How about that?"_

_Dis crossed her arms. "I'll share them with Valdis and you can both rest."_

_Thorin smiled at his sister. "Thanks gerbil, but I prefer you to take over this deer with Loa. I'd love some stew from its meat for Rhianaye. She needs to gain on strength..." He said and pushed back to see the beautiful face of his baby girl._

_Her huge green eyes gazed at him mesmerised as her toothless mouth sucked on his shoulder trying to alleviate the pain in her gums. Even though Durin had already gotten four teeth, Rhianaye was once more left behind. Something that was making it very difficult for her to eat._

_Dis uncrossed her arms and went to check on the hunt. "That's a big game. Was it a good hunt for you boys?" She asked with a smile._

_Dwalin began untying the ropes. "We needed to release some tension, believe me."_

_Dis looked back at her brother and smiled. "I know." She said in hushed tone and winked at Dwalin._

_Eilin waved her arms at them. "Never mind all that. I am more rested than I have ever been! Listen it's important! I wanted to tell you about Farin..." Her enthusiasm was quickly passed onto him._

_He smiled affectionately at her and was about to speak, when Farin decided to tell them what was happening in his own way. He forgot about all the grass he had pulled out of the earth and was now staining his brown breaches and looked up at his father with his large azure eyes. "Da-da..."_

_Eilin felt her mouth forming the biggest smile yet. She leaned above her son and caressed his tousled black curly hair. "Yes, it's dada my baby. Want to show him what you can do?"_

_Dwalin crossed his arms and frowned._

_Thorin looked at his son sideways, while his mouth was resting on the soft skin of his daughter's cheek. "What did the little rascal do now?" He whispered._

_Eilin got ready to help Farin -or better yet the future Durin the Seventh- up when the baby turned around and grabbed the hem of his mother's dress and pulled himself up unassisted. Eilin grinned and searched Thorin's eyes to see the effect Farin was having on him. The King remained vaguely interested in his son's quirky attempts to keep himself upright as he had seen them many times before, but nothing could have prepared him for what happened next when Farin released his mom's dress and turned to his dad._

_Thorin's partial amusement melted into deep scrutiny and he gave one absent kiss on Rhianaye's cheek as all his attention turned to his boy. "Farin?" He whispered._

_Eilin's grin became even bigger and she raised her hand to Thorin. "Wait for it! Farin go to dada..." she said._

_Farin opened up his arms and looked at Thorin. "Da-da." He repeated and took the first unassisted step towards his imposing father._

_The uncertain smile played upon Thorin's lips for a few moments until Farin took the second wavering step and then the third. His small boots picking up and dragging along all the grass that he had plucked off the earth before. "Hey little man..." Thorin said and kneeled down feeling his heart exploding with adrenaline just by looking at the tries of his son to the first steps of his life._

_"Da-da." Farin repeated and took the fourth and the fifth step._

_Thorin steadied Rhianaye on his shoulder and opened up his arm to Farin, who unfortunately lost his footing and fell down face first. His reaction though was almost impeccable as his hands kept his face clear off the dirt. Eilin's mouth dropped open and she had to force herself to stay put and not pick him up as Farin sobbed once and looked up to his father._

_Thorin's eyes alternated between pride and fleeting worry, but the moment Farin looked up to him, he smiled softly. "Crying won't solve your problems son..." He said with a calm voice, knowing full well that his baby boy couldn't understand a word. He could very well understand though that his father wouldn't pick him up as he released another frustrated sob and searched his father's eyes with his own teary ones, seeking help._

_Eilin smiled at Dis. "Did you see him?"_

_Dis nodded proudly. "Boy walked way too early."_

_"Indeed..." Dwalin pressed his lips appreciatively._

_Thorin stood up and went to his son. He kneeled in front of him, but made no move to pick him up. "Come on, no tears now..." He said with a comforting tone._

_Rhianaye unglued her gums from her dad's shoulder and looked down at her brother for a moment before shoving her fist in her mouth instead._

_Farin sat up and kicked the dirt with his legs once, while his pained eyes gazed at Thorin's, expecting his father to pick him up._

_"Better?" Thorin raised his brow._

_Farin sniffled and opened up his arms. "Da-da." He mumbled._

_Eilin rubbed her elbows. "Oh...pick him up honey, come on!" She urged her husband with an affectionate voice._

_Thorin swept Farin up and enfolded him close to his chest. "You did very well my boy. I am so proud of you..." he cooed and kissed Farin's cheek and neck._

_His son sniffled and rubbed his face on Thorin's free shoulder as he settled down in his warm embrace._

_Just seeing Thorin holding their children so lovingly melted Eilin's heart. She walked up to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "I was nursing Rhianaye and he was sitting close to the fireplace playing with those wooden cubes that Fili brought him with Dis when suddenly he pulled himself up by holding on her shoulder and started toddling towards me. I think I yelped so loud that my poor girl started crying." She told him and gifted the centre of his chest with a kiss._

_He looked down at her and rubbed his nose on her hair, yearning to wake up her beloved scent that comforted him so much. "I am glad you were the first one to see his first steps my love."_

_She squeezed him tight and thought about Rhianaye and the need to see her little girl doing the same. Something that seemed so far away at that moment. Dis' voice interrupted her train of thought._

_"Blessed may that boy be, wolf. He walked far sooner than you, me or Frerin. Mom said you walked when you saw all the seasons one time and I walked even later and so did Frerin. Your boy seems to be exceptional in everything, except from calming his sister." -Dis chuckled and Eilin snorted upon Thorin's chest- "Thank Mahal's holy beard that Rhianaye calmed down quickly and also fed off her mom because last night she didn't eat anything."_

_Eilin exhaled on him feeling her heart squeezing at that. "Thank Mahal indeed."_

_Thorin kissed her head firmly and rested his cheek on it. "Calm down my beloved. She's doing fine. Sometimes she just doesn't have an appetite."_

_Dis looked over as Dwalin released the deer from the horses and placed it on his shoulder. "I've told your wife many times that I was a poor eater as a baby too."_

_Thorin smiled. "She was indeed..."_

_Eilin nodded and forced herself to smile even though no one was watching. "I know don't worry. Rhianaye is special too. She just needs time."_

_Thorin pressed his children in his arms and exhaled on Eilin's head. "She does, doesn't she?" He whispered and only his wife heard him._

_She felt his troubled mind and pulled back. She cupped his cheek and smiled brightly at him. "Of course she does. What is taking place inside this brilliant mind of yours?"_

_Thorin's lips curled up. "Sleep deprived nonsense."_

_Dis and Dwalin went towards the entrance with the game and Dis gave a last worried look to her brother._

_"You are thinking about her walking right?" Eilin whispered and kept his eyes trapped inside hers._

_He nodded quietly. "Walking, talking, sitting up...even rolling over. She seems so weak at times...and hearing that she didn't eat last night."_

_Eilin pressed her lips and cupped both his cheeks. She pulled his face down firmly and straightened. "Listen to me honey. Our daughter is fine! She will do things on her own time and no one can force her. She is way too stubborn and she had taken that from you..." She raised her brow._

_He reciprocated and his lips broke into a partially relieved smile. "And not from you?"_

_She snorted and shook her head. "You beat me easily in that department. Now stop worrying will you? Stop all those nightly vigils in order to overlook her breathing because they are exhausting the life out of you. She is sleeping well now."_

_He nodded and exhaled hard through his nose, feeling his heart mellowing down._

_Eilin caressed his bearded cheek and looked at his mouth. "I know how you feel, believe me. I worry about her too. Last night when she didn't eat I was so distressed, but you know what?"_

_His lips curled sideways. "What..?"_

_"When she wants to eat she is going to ask for it, right? She has done that so many times, correct?" Eilin beamed up to him, forcing herself to be strong in order to comfort his worries._

_"She has..." He agreed quietly._

_"Then maybe we should both lay off her for a moment like Balin says. We are over-parenting her, while we do the exact opposite with Farin." She rejoined steadily._

_"That's true." He said and looked at both kids. Rhianaye had found the strings of his tunic rather interesting and she was pulling them hard and Farin had buried his small fingers through his father's hair and was playing around with one of his warrior braids._

_"We will make a deal okay?" Eilin raised her brow._

_Thorin smiled. "Like?"_

_"I will stop worrying about her not eating so much and you will stop worrying about her breathing...then we are both going to stop comparing her with Farin and we will allow her to open up her abilities on her own time." Eilin spoke quietly, but her voice had a firmness that Thorin appreciated more than words could describe at that moment._

_It took him several moments to nod at his wife. "It's a deal my dove."_

_Eilin looked at him for a few breathless moments and then grinned. She raised on tiptoe and pulled him down until her lips skimmed above his for a few lingering moments. "Now can we both feel happy for Farin without staining that happiness with Rhianaye's difficulties?" She whispered._

_He closed his eyes and captured her lips in a gentle kiss that elated his heart. "You are such a wise woman..."_

_She smiled under his lips and her fingers tunnelled through his hair. "I love you..." She whispered._

_"Me too..." He responded and got ready to kiss her again when the voice of Balin interrupted them._

_"I honestly hate breaking you guys apart, but the Seven Lords and the delegation from Rohan is expecting you at the meeting room, laddie..." Balin crossed his arms._

_Eilin looked up and smiled, but didn't make an attempt to release her husband. "Hello Lord Balin."_

_He bowed. "My lady." -He rejoined with a smile and then waved playfully at Farin who was looking at him- "Hello Lord Farin..."_

_The boy kept his eyes firmly steady on the old advisor._

_Balin turned to Rhianaye. "Hello young lady..."_

_The baby girl didn't even see him._

_"Will you take them up? I will come when I finish." Thorin said and gave their daughter to Eilin._

_"Sure honey." She said while Rhianaye wrapped her legs around her mom's ribcage._

_Balin cringed as he felt deeply scrutinised by the baby boy. "Have I ever told you that his gaze is very unsettling?"_

_Thorin smiled and tried to pass Farin over. "More than once."_

_"I cannot even imagine how penetrating his gaze will become once he enters adulthood." Balin raised his brow feeling relieved when Farin removed his eyes and grabbed hold of Thorin's tunic not willing to let go._

_"He will be able to command respect with a single glance." -Thorin said proudly and looked down at his son- "You have to go with mom."_

_Farin grumped and clasped his tunic even tighter, burying his head on his shoulder. "Da-da."_

_Eilin raised her brow. "He wants to stay with you."_

_Farin kicked in the air. "Da-da! Da-da!"_

_Thorin cupped the back of his head and enclosed him to his chest. "Fine then, you stay with me."_

_Eilin's brow wrinkled. "But you have a meeting...are you sure?"_

_Balin pointed at her. "She's got a point!"_

_Thorin looked at them coldly. "I will have a meeting with the Rohan envoys with Farin on my hip. Any problem from you two?" He gazed at them loftily._

_Eilin huffed and turned around. "Not from me honey. Have fun!"_

_Thorin kissed Farin's head and looked at Balin. "Problems from you, maybe?"_

_Balin exhaled patiently. "I've seen you do the most unexpected things in the most unbelieving manners. You taking over an important meeting with your son on your hip is something that doesn't impress me at all. It was something expected from you to be honest."_

_Thorin smiled and walked inside the gates giving a last caring look to his wife's slender figure as she made it towards the Royal corridors. "Is Rohan here to talk about Isengard again?" He asked his advisor._

_Balin nodded and followed him thoughtfully. "The Rohirrim don't want Saruman the White to guard Isengard. It created several problems for them in the past with the Dunlendings and their raids to Rohan. They need to keep it under their control."_

_Thorin nodded thoughtfully. "Let's see what they wish from me again..."_

_Farin started bouncing on his father's arms then and yelling. "Da-da, da-da...da-da..."_

* * *

"Dad, dad, dad...wake up!" Rhianaye jumped on his bed and straddled his back.

Thorin's eyes cracked open and he frowned. "Is it even dawn yet?" He grumbled.

"It's too late, come on you have to wake up!" Rhianaye said and got off him. Then she started pulling his arm.

"For Mahal's holy beard girl, leave me alone for once!" Thorin said and turned his head the other way. It was too early to be awoken so roughly and even though it was eight years after the birth of the twins and three after the birth of Thrárin he was still not used in these morning war games.

"Come on daddy, you have to wake up, Durin is gone again..." Rhianaye gave up on his arm that was too heavy for her to lift and tried to bother him by tickling his nose with the end of his warrior braid.

Thorin remained unfazed until she managed to stick the prickly hair up his nostril and then he jerked up angrily. "Rhianaye!" He snapped.

She screeched and pulled back with a giggle.

"Stop!" -He glared at her and then fell back on the bed- "Have mercy..."

Rhianaye pushed her voluminous black hair away from her face and began jumping on the bed making him bounce around also. "Come on daddy, we have to go find Durin!"

Thorin grasped the sheets and made a tight fist out of them, while he was silently calling on patience. "Where is your mother?!" He mumbled vexed beyond reason. Last night he slept rather late as he had a very demanding meeting with the four chancellors and the Seven Lords so he would have appreciated a calm morning today, which apparently was not going to happen.

"She had to attend the celebration of the welcoming of the Summer with all the cleaning ladies at the River Running, don't you remember?" Rhianaye stopped jumping.

"Forgot..." Thorin groaned.

Rhianaye raised her brows and began jumping again, not caring about her father's deteriorating state.

Thorin picked up his pillow and placed it above his head. "Where is Thrárin?" His muffled voice asked.

Rhianaye paused. "Next to you..."

Thorin lifted the pillow and peeped to see Thrárin standing next to him quietly, sucking his finger and watching him with his huge azure eyes. The moment his father looked at him, he giggled. "Hi daddy..." he mumbled and then resumed sucking.

"Hi my love. Did you sleep well?" It didn't take long for Thorin's mouth to form a sweet smile.

Thrárin nodded eagerly. "Yeah!"

Thorin looked back at the inner door that was separating his rooms from the rooms of his children, which was most of the times open hoping to see someone coming to help him to no avail.

"Where is auntie Dis?" Thorin turned to his daughter.

"She had to help the delivery of a baby. I asked to go with her, but she denied!" Rhianaye sounded disappointed at that.

"Where is Fili?!" Thorin rejoined even more annoyed by everyone missing this morning.

"Had to work with uncle Dain!" She continued.

"Can you stop jumping up and down?! I am getting nauseous!" He grumbled and buried his head on the mattress again.

Rhianaye jumped in the air and landed crisscrossed next to him. "Come on daddy, we need to find Durin!"

"Where is Loa and Lis anyway?" He said and pushed himself on his elbows, knowing that it would be impossible to sleep now.

"Loa is helping aunt Dis and I don't know where Lis is..." Rhianaye flicked her shoulders.

Thrárin climbed on the bed and laid down on Thorin's wide back not taking his thumb out of his mouth. "I am hungry daddy." He said quietly making Thorin appreciate the calm nature of his third child even more in view of Rhianaye's fiery personality and Durin's rebellious nature.

Thorin rubbed his forehead. "Where did your brother go?"

Rhianaye looked at him for a moment and then flicked her shoulder again. "Don't know dad, that's why I woke you up."

"Didn't he say anything?" Thorin gazed at her.

She hesitated. "Well..."

He raised his brow. "Well what?"

Rhianaye cringed. "Hávarthur was knocking on our door like crazy. Durin opened up, they exchanged some words, he came in, dressed and left."

Thorin exhaled a whole bout of annoyance. "Well if he is with his best friend why did you have to wake me up for?"

"I wanted to go with him and he didn't take me!" Rhianaye frowned.

"Don't piss me off young lady...Why should I care that your brother left you behind? That's something between you two..." Thorin raised his brow.

She observed him for a moment and then rolled her eyes and looked at the ceiling. "Fine...okay...got it...perfect...as always Durin gets to do what he wants and I end up staying behind!"

Thorin pushed up and Thrárin slid off his back and landed on the bed with a giggle. Thorin looked at him with a playful smirk. "Had your best friend asked you to go out to play I wouldn't have said no Rhianaye. Don't act like a brat..." Thorin chastised her and reached out to tickle Thrárin's exposed belly.

Rhianaye huffed and crossed her arms. "Dad!"

He looked at her with a raised brow. "Honestly you woke me out of a much needed sleep just because Durin went to have some fun. Do you find what you did justified?"

Rhianaye pressed her lips and averted her eyes.

Thorin leaned down and gave a soft kiss on Thrárin's belly before he stood up and reached for his tunic. "It is not as if you needed food or care for some reason. You are old enough to take care of yourself and your brother and you know how to go to the Royal Kitchens and grab something for him and for you to eat..."

Rhianaye frowned. "I did feed us, even though that sprite is still hungry." She pointed at her baby brother.

Thorin's lips curled down. "So you woke me up for absolutely nothing, correct?"

Rhianaye's stubborn eyes gazed at her father bravely, but she didn't respond.

"You wish me to find Durin and force your company on him, right?" Thorin wore his vest and raised his brow at her.

Rhianaye turned her back at him.

"And now I get the silent treatment..." Thorin deducted.

Thrárin followed his father as he approached Rhianaye and clasped his large hand around her shoulder. "Hey beautiful..." he let the thought trail.

She turned around with teary eyes. "What?" She said.

"Yesterday I had a very long meeting that ended long after the golden bells chimed the third call of the night. When I came up your mom was sleeping and so were you. I rested very little this morning and for what reason?" He raised his brow at her sternly, but his gaze was affectionate and that passed through to his daughter.

She exhaled and uncrossed her arms. "Sorry daddy for waking you up..." she sounded more regretful than she looked.

Thorin's lips curled up in a sweet smile. "At least next time give me a valid reason..." -he pretended to think as she embraced his waist and he drew her warmly in- "...like there is a fire in the kitchens and our breakfast burned to ash..."

Rhianaye snorted and pressed her arms around her dad. "Okay daddy, sorry..."

He caressed her hair and leaned down to offer her a doting kiss on the head, before turning to Thrárin. "So you ate, but do you want me to make you an extra omelet?"

Rhianaye pulled back and her eyes grew larger than life. "Yeah! I want an omelet!"

Thrárin grasped Thorin's hand and nodded like mad. "Me too daddy!" He began jumping up and down like a spring.

Thorin took his kids by each hand and got out of the Royal chambers, deciding to make it for the Royal Kitchens that had been reopened the last few months. They were part of the Royal wing and that made it far easier for Thorin's family to have their breakfast without going out to the main kitchens of the first floor common residential areas. He had taken only a few steps towards them when the heavy voice of Balin made him turn around.

"Laddie, you are awake thank heavens!" Balin came up to him out of breath and leaned his hand on the wall exhausted.

Thorin frowned. "What happened to you?"

Balin waved him off. "You need to come to the gates now!"

Thorin raised his brow, but didn't have the time to answer as Balin spoke above him.

"Prince Durin is mounted on the ledge of the waterfall with Hávarthur and they are arguing on who has the biggest balls to attempt a dive!" Balin's eyes grew wide as he described what was happening.

Thorin's face grew pale. "What the hell..."

Rhianaye pulled his arm in order to move him. "Dad that's too high up! He is going to break his neck!"

Thorin pursed his lips. "Come on." He said and followed Rhianaye quickly, picking up Thrárin in his arms who giggled happily not realising the urgency that had taken over the people around him. Balin rushed after the Royal family, intending to lead Thorin to the source of trouble, but he never got the chance as the King knew exactly where to go. It was not the first time Durin had attempted to climb the mouth of the waterfall, intending to prove his worth against the frothing waters several feet underneath it. Each time Thorin had managed to persuade him to come off and when he was not present Eilin had overpowered her son easily, also adding a punishment on top for endangering his life this way.

Eilin always ended up telling Thorin off for his own daring nature that he had obviously passed down to the twins, but thankfully not to the calm Thrárin. Something that Thorin couldn't rebuke easily, but secretly held pride for. Nevertheless he didn't intend to share that pride with his wife, as she would say that he was encouraging these tearaways to do more. Rhianaye exited the gates in front of her formidable father and the guards offered her a military salutation, which was followed by an even more impressive one for the King.

"All bow for the King!" The guards called in unison and all the spectators of Durin's fearless nature turned around and bend the knee for the King of the North.

Durin looked down at him and rolled his eyes, but didn't dare move too much as his body was flashed against the hard rocks of the mountain. "Here we go again..." He muttered.

Hávarthur, who was admittedly standing on a lower level inside a small alcove, chuckled. "Your dad is here to pull you down again!"

Durin clenched his jawline and his azure eyes gave a murderous look to his identical father, before gazing over at the horizon. He clenched his fists and then looked at his best friend. "Shut up already!"

Hávarthur grinned. "Come down, you weren't going to do it anyway! Who are you trying to convince I wonder..."

Durin felt his blood coming to a slow shimmer. "I told you I was going to do it and I am!"

Hávarthur crossed his arms and looked down at the immovable King. "Your dad is giving you a look I wouldn't dare challenge, so get down."

Durin felt his teeth gritting and turned to his father. "What do you want dad?" He yelled.

Thorin placed Thrárin down and raised his brow quietly. "Nothing..."

Durin was ready to tell his father off for trying to get him down again, so this answer took him by surprise. He did a double take towards his father. "What?"

Thorin pursed his lips. "Pretend I am just a spectator on what promises to be an amazing show. Go about your business lad."

Durin frowned down at him. "Aren't you going to try to get me to come down like all the other times?"

Thorin shook his head appearing coldly indifferent. "Not really."

Durin's frown became even deeper. "What?" He felt the slippery rock under his fingers and his wet hair sticking on his forehead. Why did this answer from his father seemed to spark a flame of fear in his gut? Was it because he always hoped that his mother or father would appear to force him down so he would find a good opportunity to avoid this challenge without appearing weak and was he even willing to ever admit that to the imposing King of the North who he always aimed to impress much more than his meagre friends.

"What?" Thorin frowned acting confused.

Durin turned to him and almost lost his footing. The crowd under the waterfall released a cry of fear and Rhianaye's voice was the loudest. His father didn't even budge. "Stop messing around with me dad! I know you came here to bring me down!"

Thorin looked at his son calmly. "No, I won't."

Durin cringed in disbelief. "Why the hell not?!"

Hávarthur laughed. "Are you expecting him to save you?! I knew you didn't have the balls to take the dive! Your dad had taken a far more dangerous dive once upon a time! That story has become a legend!" His friend teased.

Durin paled and even though it was rather challenging for Thorin to remain silent and not intervene in the end he managed to do so.

"I will dive off this ledge, I will prove my worth and then I am going to challenge you to do the same and if you don't I will make sure Alma learns about your cowardliness!" Durin rebuked and Thorin raised his brow.

Rhianaye clasped his hand and squeezed it tight. "Dad bring him down!"

"Hush..." he commanded her and she pulled back confused.

"Don't you dare talk to Alma!" Hávarthur spat with a broken demeanour. That name drop seemed to have taken away all his bravado.

Durin smirked feeling the first traces of victory in this territorial challenge between him, his best friend and the most pretty girl of Erebor besides his sister. "Wanna climb up here to stop me?" He spat.

Thorin had to refrain from smiling at that and Balin gave him a guarded look deciding to remain silent. One of the dwarrowdams who was standing closest to them though didn't feel the same need to be discreet.

"Your Majesty, bring the Prince down please. He is going to kill himself if he falls on those sharp cliffs at the bottom of the waterfall..."

Thorin spoke over her with such assertiveness that she pulled back embarrassed and lowered her eyes. "Silence!"

She offered him a respectful curtsy. "I am sorry your Majesty..." She muttered and her husband pulled her back with an annoyed glare.

Balin raised his brow and turned his attention to Durin who was looking again at his father.

"You are going to let me dive?" He cried.

Thorin flared his chest proudly and a fierce frown covered his handsome brow. "There is no other way of getting down from there, but to dive!"

Balin cringed. "Maybe you should reconsider Thorin. Remember how you almost died from a similar dive?" He said in a low tone.

"I don't need your opinion right now..." Thorin's eyes thinned on his son who was sweating profusely.

"Dad!" Rhianaye cried.

Thorin didn't give notice to either, but only gave Thrárin a small loving gaze when his son wrapped his small fingers through his. Then he looked back up to his son. "Who initiated this challenge?"

Durin's nose flared. "Me!"

Hávarthur pointed at his friend and yelled at the same moment. "Him!"

Thorin tilted his head gently. "Then you take on this challenge and dive."

Durin felt his stomach dropping and at the same time an adrenaline surge rushed in his veins. Now it was not his friend challenging him, but his own father and he didn't want to disappoint him, even if that meant dying in the process. "Fine!" He spat.

Thorin took a step closer. "I am waiting boy." His rich voice dropped several octaves and send shivers down Durin's back.

Hávarthur started feeling slightly uncertain as he saw the fear and courage toying in his friend's eyes and twisted his fingers around the hem of his vest. Then he looked at the King. "Maybe we could postpone it for another time, Sir?"

Thorin turned his formidable gaze at him and the boy cowered. "Postpone a challenge of honour?" He drawled.

Hávarthur swallowed heavily and it took him several moments of nervous fidgeting to admit the truth. "I don't want to do it after him and I don't want him to tell Alma..."

Durin's lips curled up satisfied. "You should have been careful of your words then, because I am going to do it."

Thorin smiled calmly.

Hávarthur wiped his wet blonde hair away from his face. "Come on Durin I was just joking! I mean look how high it is and at all those sharp rocks underneath..."

"You didn't remember these when you said that I am not as brave as my dad!" Durin snapped back at him.

Hávarthur paled and averted his eyes from the fiery gaze of the King that fell on him. Still Thorin remained quiet through this altercation.

Hávarthur pressed his lips and frowned angrily. "It was just a stupidity from me! Come down, I am sorry!"

Durin looked down at his father, searching, longing for a look of approval which he got instantly along with a soft tilt of the head. "Dad?" that was almost in a whisper of uncertainty.

Thorin crossed his arms and lowered his chin sternly. "Durin's folk never run away from a fight son, dive..." He said stonily.

Durin closed his eyes and counted inwards, calling on every ounce of courage his young body possessed which admittedly was a lot. He heard the wild rush of the water next to him and his heart sped up to an impossible gallop. He released the stone behind him and looked under him on the sharp rocks, trying to calculate the distance he had to push himself in order to avoid certain death, but his eyes were not the only ones which were calculating like mad.

His father's did also and even though outside Thorin was a block of ice, inside his heart died a little when Durin jumped off the ledge with a perfection that the King would have expected out of years of training in diving with him. If his heart lost several years of life when his son took the dive, then it lost every ounce of its courage when Durin got lost under the frothing waters and the crowd cried in terror. Thorin had to physically force himself to walk calmly to the river shore and not run in order to make sure that his son's body was not floating dead on the wild waters. When his eyes failed to see him, his body betrayed the first and only sign of fear. His hand twisted hard around Thrárin's and the boy cried in pain and looked up at his father accusingly. Thorin's stare though was stuck on the water surface, counting the moments and holding his own breath, feeling his soul tearing away inch by inch until blessedly he saw Durin resurfacing and swimming to the shore. Only then did he pull back and released Thrárin's hand from his sweaty palms. He never stopped looking at his brave son until Durin pulled himself out of the water and walked up to him proudly.

Hávarthur had already climbed down and was dashing towards them.

Thorin stood for a moment in front of his son who was dripping from head to foot, shivering. He felt his eyes welling and he didn't try to hide it from Durin who immediately recognised the emotion on his dad's demeanour. Thorin's lips toyed with a delighted smile and his large hand fell on Durin's shoulder. "Perfect dive..." He said in a hushed tone.

Durin's beautiful face opened up instantly at his father's approval. "It was?" he asked yearningly.

Thorin came down to one knee and grasped both of Durin's shoulders shaking him hard. "Perfect dive my son!" This time his voice boomed so loud that the crowd erupted in applause.

Durin felt his young heart swelling with bliss and fell on his father's arms. "Thank you..." he whispered.

Thorin enfolded him close to his heart and placed a dozen kisses on his temple and forehead. "I am so proud of you my boy...so proud..."

Durin tightened his small arms around Thorin's neck and grinned. "Are you?!"

Thorin nodded fervently. "I took the famous dive that almost killed me at the age of twenty. You beat me by ten years my brave boy!"

The crowd was looking at them pleased beyond reason, while Hávarthur was gazing at his best friend sheepishly, because he knew that now it was his turn to take this terrifying dive.

Durin planted a firm kiss on Thorin's cheek and then as if remembering he turned to his best friend and towered over him. "Your turn now, elvish sissy!"

Thorin cupped his mouth, in order to hide the smile and stood up as Balin approached him.

Rhianaye wrapped her arms around Durin's back and kissed his cheek. "I knew you could do it, lion!"

"Thanks birdie!" Durin smirked back at her and then turned his stern gaze at Hávarthur, but his sister spoke instead of him.

"Your turn or I will tell Alma of your cowardliness instead of Durin!" She said spitefully.

Hávarthur frowned angrily. "I am not going to do anything I don't want to! You cannot force me!"

Durin raised his brow. "Oh, yes I can!"

Rhianaye grinned. "I'll help you!" She told her brother and they both attempted to grab Hávarthur who escaped their grip and rushed into the gates.

"I am not going to do it! Forget it!" He yelled.

"Get back here your troll's snot!" Durin cried as he and his sister run after his friend forgetting all about the challenge of honour and the fear of delivering it in front of his formidable dad.

Thorin didn't try to stop them. He leaned down and picked Thrárin up as Balin spoke to him. "That was a very risky move on your behalf." The old advisor said quietly as the crowd began dispersing with many bend knees towards the direction of the King.

Thorin caressed Thrárin's hair as the beautiful red headed toddler with the huge azure eyes leaned his head on Thorin's shoulder. "Kid needs to learn to stand behind his decisions. He is old enough for that."

Balin looked at the retreating crowd. "Still it was too dangerous..."

Thorin gazed at him momentarily. "It was."

Balin's mouth broke a small smile and he looked at his boots. "We will see great things from this boy, you know that don't you?"

Thorin looked towards the gates and nodded thoughtfully. "I am well aware Balin...well aware..." He whispered as he saw Rhiannon passing through the crowd and coming over to them with quick urgent steps.

"My Lord, forgive me for interrupting you..." She curtsied.

Thorin looked at her and tried to remember the skeleton they had recovered at the woods ten years ago, but she was nowhere to be seen. Eilin's best friend had recovered to her full glory during all these years living and working amongst them. She had been so well trained by Eilin and Loa that she was now the first maiden of the Royal family, even presiding Loa. "What's wrong?" He asked.

"Another candidate unfortunately your Majesty..." Rhiannon raised her bright hazel eyes at him and he recognised the shadow of worry in them.

His face clouded. "When?"

"Just now Sir." She averted her eyes and bowed her head.

"Where is Eilin?" His voice dropped.

"With him Sir..." Rhiannon said quietly.

"Wasn't she supposed to be in some ceremony or whatever?" Thorin's eyes flashed.

Rhiannon withdrew fearfully from him. "It ended up sooner than expected Sir..."

"Why wasn't I notified?! I have given explicit instructions that no one passes to my wife without me seeing them first!" He snapped with austerity.

"I didn't have time to come notify you Sir. He was brought at your office by the guard and she found him there when she arrived. Being able to fly wouldn't have given me an advantage to that, Sir." Rhiannon sounded and looked regretful.

Thorin exhaled furiously and walked quickly in the city intending to intercept this new candidate before he broke his wife's heart once more...

...once more like all the others had done before him or the ones that were going to come after him...

* * *

 

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	2. Burn the Scrolls

Thorin climbed all the steps of the golden gilded winding staircases that led to his office two by two or maybe even three by three, still carrying the playful Thrárin in his arms and having totally forgotten the daring dive of Durin by now. He didn't even know what his two older children were up to this time. They were still possibly chasing after Hávarthur all over Erebor, but Thorin's mind had turned into a single point of focus. He was hurrying to intercept another crook who would most definitely try to get into the good graces of his wife. He left Balin way too far behind even though his advisor was trying in turn to stop Thorin from coming down like a solid boulder on whoever was talking with Eilin right now. The guards barely had the time to yell: "Attention for the King!" or present arms before Thorin threw the heavy door open allowing it to crash on the wall. The occupants of his office turned to him terrified. Instantly Eilin's face mellowed into a relieved smile, but the Dwarf who was standing in front of her paled and kneeled down, averting his eyes to the floor.

Thorin's eyes remained on his wife for a few tense moments were he showed no emotion and then turned at the new candidate. He was a middle aged man, with greyish hair and a very round belly that bespoke of a sedentary life of plenty. His braids were too intricate and his long hair too well made for Thorin's liking. His brows came together menacingly and he felt almost mad at himself for being unable to remember Othin's face and stature after so many years. A clear image of him would have been the solution to all their problems, but he was incapable of recalling a single detail on him apart from his red fiery hair, which were now part of Eilin's most alluring features. Even Balin who stumbled out of breath in the office behind Thorin had been unable to recognise by face alone the old warrior who stood bravely by their side in Azanulbizar, which meant that they were forced to have more extensive interactions with all the candidates who appeared in Erebor to claim fatherhood to the Queen of the North. Something that always ended up with Eilin having a broken heart repeatedly.

Ever since word got out that the Queen was a descendant of the master smith who forged the famous Narsil, which was now standing proudly in Thorin's office on a pedestal, they were misfortunate enough to have myriads of candidates coming from all over Middle Earth with a claim on Eilin's heavy lineage. Every single one who came in got kicked out and several had also been imprisoned for several months as a penalty for attempting identity theft. Those heavy punishments calmed down the furious King, who saw his wife withering with each such interview, but they did nothing to soothe down Eilin's broken soul. Thorin asked her many times if she wanted him to find her father and every time she denied ardently, but all these candidates were out of the King's control and she knew it. Once word got out about her lineage they were unable to restrain it from spreading like wildfire and Thorin had been expecting a few villains to try and burrow their way in the Royal family, but nothing had prepared neither him nor her for what was happening the last few years. At least five to ten candidates every few months appeared needing to speak to the King about the Queen's lineage and even though Thorin insisted that she allow him to search for her father in order to clear this mess and close down all gateways to her once and for all, she still denied.

One would have thought that her constant denial was a dead giveaway of her refusal to learn anything about her parents, which was what Thorin thought at the beginning...yet...each time he saw her face falling when a candidate failed to convince the King, he knew that she was getting more and more disappointed, which meant that she secretly yearned to learn...longed to see him...find him...talk to him. As for Thorin, his disappointment was even more intense than Eilin's because he saw her eyes welling time after time and the threads of protection that rushed through his blood for her were going haywire. She may have not vocalised her emotions in all this menagerie, but with her actions and with her attitude she was not allowing Thorin to shield her and that was driving him mad. His last orders to Rhiannon and Balin was that no outsider should be allowed an interview with the Queen unless he was passed through the King first.

He exhaled roughly through his nose looking at the kneeling man, knowing that not only his orders had been overlooked by the Queen herself, but that her modestly hopeful face was going to be torn apart one more time and he had no way of making this easier for her. What was he supposed to do now that she was looking at him with a sweet, heartfelt smile of uncertainty? Was he going to tell her to leave and interrogate the man himself? She had already talked to him and she looked hesitantly happy. Thorin was going to be the one to break her heart this time again and he hated himself for that. He hated that his orders had been left unnoticed and that he was forced to act like an jerk once more. He pursed his lips and looked at his wife's eyes one more time, unwilling to make the first move towards her undoing. Unfortunately she did it herself.

She nibbled her bottom lip and her smile widened. "Thorin this is...uhm...I...uhm..." A fleeting shadow chased her clear gaze away and his heart twitched in pain.

He didn't hesitate this time. "Why were my orders not heeded Eilin?" The richness of his voice got tainted by the roughness of its texture.

Eilin's demeanour instantly took a plunge. "I was coming up to see you and I found this man by the office doors..." She began.

"Who led him here?!" Thorin's eyes spewed fire that didn't leave a lot of room for debate.

Eilin pulled back looking admittedly hurt already and he cursed himself internally. "I don't know..." She muttered.

Balin grasped his bicep and squeezed him. "No one lad...no one did.."

"How come he bypassed all the guards and managed to reach this office then?" Thorin spat and his murderous gaze left Eilin's and fell on the kneeling man.

"Is this what matters the most right now?" Eilin's voice sounded mildly accusing.

He turned his eyes on her. "No one sees you unless they pass through me!"

Eilin's brows came together angrily. "He is here now and we have talked already, so can we overlook what happened for my sake please?"

Thorin's nostrils flared. "What I am doing is for your sake..."

Balin pressed his arm again. "Lad he is here now, whatever happened is done and over with. There is no point in creating more drama..."

Thorin's brow raised slowly, but he didn't get a chance to rebuke his advisor because the kneeling man spoke with a slightly broken voice. "I never meant to create such havoc in the Royal family your Majesty, but there was a great commotion down at the gates and I asked to see the King. A lady pointed me to the right direction and no one stopped me. The Queen was standing outside your office and she was polite enough to lead me in. Forgive me..."

Eilin turned to him. "No need to ask forgiveness, please...all is well. Stand up."

Thorin inhaled deeply and his hand squeezed the back of his son who was beginning to become restless also. Balin whispered to his ear calmly. "Steady lad...quiet down...please...for her sake."

Thorin had to use every single ounce of self control to speak again. "Your name." He demanded.

The man never lifted up his eyes to the King. He spoke with a hushed voice. "Othin..."

Thorin averted his eyes and walked loftily towards his office. "Of course." He snapped dismissively.

Eilin's face twisted painfully. "Can you at least pretend like you care?" She threw at him accusingly.

Thorin turned his eyes at her and had to bite back the retort that came up his throat like vomit. The very core of the way he was acting right now was because he cared for her more than he cared for anyone else in this life apart from his kids. He was so angry exactly because he loved her to death. Instead of declaring all these things to her openly in front of this stranger and Balin, he gritted his teeth and decided to address the man instead. "Stand up." Came the cold command.

The man stood up slowly and tried to give a side glance to the Queen who immediately came to his rescue. She touched his forearm gently. "You want to take a seat? You look beyond exhausted. Balin could make you some tea from leaves I picked up from the forest today..." she said quietly, but the care in her eyes made Thorin's heart harden painfully.

The older Dwarf looked at her briefly and then averted his eyes. "Just like your mother..." He whispered.

Thorin saw the glimmer in Eilin's eyes and fury came to overtake him in the blink of an eye. "Silence your insolent mouth!" The command came out in a deeply rich roar that send goosebumps over the skin of all the occupants of the office, including his son who grasped his dad's tunic understanding that something was seriously wrong.

Eilin jerked upright and glowered at him. "Thorin please, you haven't even talked to him..."

"And you have..." His eyes thinned on her.

"Yes I have! He had many interesting details to divulge from his years next to the Longbeards. Details that you might recognise about yourself, your family and the battle of Moria..." She tried.

"Details that were never a secret to begin with." -He raised his brows at her and that gave her pause- "Details that are being sang about me and my family through the centuries..."

"He spoke about my mom..." Eilin attempted another approach.

"And that proves that he is the one?" Thorin's voice dropped low.

Eilin closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. "It proves nothing..." She muttered.

"No, it doesn't..." He spoke over her.

She overlapped him angrily. "But that doesn't mean that you cannot still give him a chance, damn it!"

Silence befell in the room and Thrárin began sniffling on his father's shoulder. "Daddy what's wrong with mommy?" He murmured.

Thorin's hand pressed the back of his son firmly. "Hush..." He whispered.

The stranger looked up at the child briefly. "Is this your son my Queen?"

Eilin removed her fiery gaze from her muted husband and turned at the older Dwarf. "My son..." -she wavered in momentary confusion as she tried to get her footing on things- "Yes, this is our baby boy, our youngest."

The stranger smiled, but didn't dare to engage the eyes of either the Queen nor the King for long. His eyes kept shifting quickly from one to the other, finding solace in the back of Thrárin. "He is such a handsome young man. The perfect combination of his parents. Of course your mother was a very good looking woman also..."

Thorin couldn't help himself. "Silence your mouth unless you want to be led straight to the dungeons." His tone was coldly controlled, but the undertone was menacing.

Eilin's lips curled down. "At least talk to him!"

"That is what I am going to do, if by chance you allow me the honour!" Thorin snapped back at her.

Eilin crossed her arms and pursed her lips looking rather picked.

Thorin kept his eyes on her for what felt like forever and caressed his son's back. "Have you tried the rune?"

Eilin's face paled.

The man frowned and looked from one to the other, but didn't dare intervene again.

"Why haven't you? That is the first thing that you are supposed to do. Not open up a meaningless chit chat with every villain that appears at our door!" Thorin scolded.

"I was about to do that when you came in!" She rebuked.

He raised his brow silently and she kept his eyes for a few moments before slowly averting them.

Balin bypassed the King and came around Thorin's office. "Lord..." he pointed at the man.

He cleared his throat and when he spoke this time his voice was broken. "Othin..."

Balin smiled coldly. "Yes, Lord Othin, this way please." He raised his hand invitingly, calling him to approach the office.

The Dwarf looked at the Queen searchingly and she gave him a vague nod to follow the advisor's orders.

Balin took out a clean scroll and gave the man a quill. "Can you please draw your rune?"

The man hesitated. "My what?"

Thorin's eyes left Eilin's intense gaze and turned at the supposed Lord Othin. "Your rune. Don't you have one?"

The man's hand was trembling when he got the quill from Balin. He turned his grey eyes to Eilin. "My Lady?"

She removed her fiery stare from her husband and turned to the man. That is when her face fell slightly and her shoulders slouched. She closed her eyes. "You have to place your rune on the scroll, my Lord. It's the only way." Her voice suddenly sounded defeated.

Thorin's hand clasped his son's back and he buried his nose on the crook of his small neck inhaling deeply. This was the moment when his wife's heart was going to be broken again and he was the one who did it, wasn't he? For a brief moment as the stranger was debating on whether to take the quill or not, Thorin found himself praying that this man knew Othin's rune. That he knew the rune Eilin's father drew on the back of her baby belt. He hoped that Eilin would see that and turn to him victoriously declaring that Thorin was a fool. Then she would embrace her dad and cry in his arms for all the lost years...and maybe after that she would rush to Thorin's arms and allow him to kiss her and relate to her that all this anger of his was not towards her, but towards the ones who were trying to hurt her for their own means. He closed his eyes and decided that he didn't want to see if this new accursed candidate was going to sign properly on the scroll. He tried to get lost in the arms of his red headed warrior who began giggling as his father's bearded cheek was tickling his soft and smooth one. That is when Balin's voice forced him to open his eyes.

"Your Majesty?" He said.

Thorin looked at the scroll that Balin brought over and felt his heart dropping once more in icy water. He swallowed heavily knowing that Eilin's demanding stare was on him again. He glared at the candidate and pursed his lips. "I asked for your rune, not Telchar's." His voice was void of all emotion even though inside he was in overflowing with an array of them.

The supposed Lord Othin frowned taken aback. "We have the same rune. 'Tis the one I carved on the back of her baby belt. Of my baby girl's baby belt!" He said and looked eagerly at the Queen.

Eilin gazed at him stonily and remained expressionless for everyone apart from her husband. He knew...he saw it...he saw the disappointment settling once more in her. He heard the painful sound of her heart shuttering and it was ear-splitting to him.

Thorin didn't wish to speak anymore. He gave a curt nod to Balin who immediately seized the man's arms and brought them behind his back.

"What are you doing?" -The Dwarf looked panicked around- "This is the rune! This is my rune! It is Telchar's rune!"

Balin pulled him roughly and spat through his teeth. "Shut up will you?!"

The Dwarf turned to the Queen who was looking at her hands. "My Lady, please look at me!"

She didn't.

"Please I beg you! I am your father! I learned that you survived and I travelled far and wide to see you! You are my daughter and I love you! I would do anything for you! This is my grandson there! Help me please! Don't let them hurt me!" The man cried as Balin dragged him to the door.

Thorin looked intensely at Eilin's face, but it betrayed nothing. She didn't speak, neither did she look up.

"Your mother died in my arms! She died of a broken heart ...look at me baby girl! Look at your father!" The man hollered.

Balin grabbed his hair and pulled him back violently. "I said shut up unless you want me to cut your tongue!"

The man squeezed his eyes tight and trembled in fear as Balin pushed him down to his knees and kept him in a tight lock.

"What do you want me to do with him, your Majesty. Throw him in the dungeons?" Balin turned at the desolate face of Thorin.

That is when the Dwarf broke down completely. "No please, not the dungeons! I swear I didn't mean any harm, please your Majesties. I am poor, I didn't have any food to eat, I didn't have anything to live for. I lied, I am sorry, please forgive me..." -He spewed between his hard sobs- "Have mercy...mercy please."

Balin frowned at Thorin. "Laddie?"

The King felt his eyes welling and averted them from the cold stature of his wife. "The Queen will decide." He said quietly.

Eilin looked up at that, but met only the side of her husband's face which he buried at his son's shoulder. Her fingers twisted painfully around each other and she felt her heart screaming as she forced herself to look at the Dwarf she had hoped would have been the one. It took her long to answer, but when she did her voice was broken. "Set him free..."

Thorin looked at the fire and felt his heart growing colder.

The Dwarf looked up sharply. "Thank you my Lady, forgive me for doing this. Forgive a poor soul...May Mahal bless you with more children. May your rule be long and wise, may your husband live long and prosper...may..."

Eilin's jawline flexed. "Get him out of here..." She spat.

Balin dragged the man out and dumped him on the guards. He closed the door behind him, muting all the lamentation and prayers of this man from entering the Royal offices anymore.

Silence reigned between the King and the Queen for a long time. Thorin kept looking at the fire, not wanting to face his wife's broken face. It was her that took the first steps towards him. First he inhaled her beloved flowery scent, which send his heart in a wild pace and then he felt her hand caressing the back of Thrárin, but she remained silent. It took him several moments to look up at her. She was gazing at the fire likewise. She was not in tears and her countenance was carefully controlled, but he knew how much all this had affected her. After so many years he knew her inside out.

"Eilin?" He whispered.

She shook her head without taking her eyes from the fire.

He swallowed heavily and placed Thrárin down. "I am sorry..." He continued with the same defeated tone.

She frowned. "Sometimes I just wish for once you would pretend like there is even the smallest chance that one of them is the real one..." She murmured.

His heart twitched and he reached out for her hand, his fingers grazing hers gently. "Would that please you?"

She closed her eyes. "I don't know."

"Don't see these men before I do, I beg you." He said after a few moments.

"Don't act like I am a child who needs protection..." Her voice hardened.

"Do you want to get hurt all the time?" He frowned and tried to engage her fingers, but she drew them away and his hand fell empty to his side.

She caressed Thrárin's hair and smiled sadly as he run to his father's office and climbed on it. He sat in the middle of Thorin's important scrolls of state and took the quill in order to doodle on the empty scroll that bore only the wrong rune the supposed Othin made a few moments ago. "I want to have the opportunity to be an adult." She rebuked.

"And I am not giving it to you perchance?" Thorin looked at her intensely.

She averted her eyes and looked at the fire. She remained silent.

"If you wish to adult then test those assholes properly before allowing them to tear your heart apart!" He snapped.

She closed her eyes and jerked sharply and his heart broke for causing her to withdraw more from him, but there seemed to be no other way of getting through to her. She was quiet once more.

"You want to adult, yet you allow them to speak to you and fill you up with lies without passing them through the ultimate test before. Why are you doing this to yourself, why?!" He rejoined feeling at the end of his tether.

She didn't answer.

"This has happened not once, not twice but many times over and when I decided to take things in my own hands you didn't allow me. I don't want you to get hurt, don't you understand?!"

She remained passively quiet.

"Are you giving me the silent treatment?" Thorin felt an overwhelming sense of sadness rushing over him.

"You came in like a hurricane..." Her beloved green eyes looked at him sternly.

"To protect you from this. You are broken again, don't you see?" Thorin tried to clasp her hand again, but she drew back.

"Allow me to be broken then!" She hurled at him and the first tears pooled at the edge of her eyes.

"I love too much for that Eilin..." He frowned in disbelief.

She closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. "Let me talk to them all then."

"I love you too much to see you hurt by them. No one will talk to you, unless they pass the rune test. Is that clear?" His voice grew hard once more and he straightened his body.

Eilin looked at him with a pair of deeply pained eyes that tore his heart off his chest. "At your orders, Sir."

Thorin's countenance broke. "Don't do this Eilin...please. You want to adult through this without my assistance, fine I will let you do it. But stop berating yourself!"

She looked at him coldly.

"Ask them to draw Othin's rune before you open up any kind of conversation with them." Thorin continued with a firm voice.

She turned her attention to the fire.

"Ask them for the bloody rune and if they fail kick them out! What the hell is this thing you are doing to yourself?"

She closed her eyes.

"It's as if you are hoping for the best, fearing to see them fail..." Thorin frowned.

She didn't respond.

Thorin inhaled deeply. "Is that it? Are you afraid to see them fail?" He frowned deeply.

She exhaled a wavering breath and that was enough of an answer for him.

"That means you want to find him." Thorin's voice quietened and he pulled back from her feeling shaken.

It took her long to speak to him. "I don't want you to go out and actively search for him, no..."

He grabbed his temples and glared at her. "You neither want me to find him, neither to protect you from all those offenders who ask for an audience only to break your heart. What do you want me to do for you Eilin. Tell me and I will do it."

"I don't want him to know that I care..." She looked up at him darkly.

Thorin closed his mouth so tightly that his jawline was in pain.

She tilted her head and raised her brows. "I don't want my father to ever learn how much I need him Thorin...do you get it?"

He gave her a silent nod.

She sighed and looked at the fire. "As for all those who keep coming..."

Thorin looked up eagerly.

She pursed her lips and looked at the fire. "Stop them from coming...because when they are in front of me I become too weak...so weak..."

He felt his very soul tearing up for her. "That is what I am trying to do and you are not allowing me. I told you that no one must talk to you unless I see them first."

She shook her head. "Don't try to intercept them before they reach me. Just stop them from coming altogether."

He opened his mouth and inhaled deeply. His brow wrinkled in uncertainty. "I cannot do that..."

She looked at him and raised her brows in agreement.

His forehead wrinkled. "How can I control everyone in Middle Earth? I can stop them from seeing you, but I cannot stop them from flogging Erebor."

She nodded and bitterness covered her demeanour. "Make them all disappear...burn all the scrolls that bear the wrong runes on them."

Thorin closed his eyes defeated.

"Turn back time for me..." She whispered.

He opened his eyes and looked at her. "Eilin..." He tried.

"Turn back time so we can stop the name of my father and my lineage from leaking out..." She said firmly.

He swallowed heavily. "I cannot turn back time, but I can do whatever is possible to protect you now. If you allow me..."

She exhaled deeply and looked back at Thrárin, deciding to floor any of Thorin's tries to comfort her. "Can we stop now please...?"

He closed his eyes and crossed his arms. "As you wish..." He sounded more hurt than he wanted to let her know.

"We yelled to each other too much today...I think it's enough." She kept her eyes on Thrárin sadly.

"I am sorry I was so rough." Thorin's azure stare searched for her, but her eyes were lost.

"I am sorry too." She sounded vanquished and his heart rushed over to her.

He grasped her shoulder and turned her around. "Look at me." He made another attempt that fell empty.

She turned her attention to her son and walked towards him. "Shall I take him so you can work?" The quietness in her voice rattled him.

Thorin looked at Thrárin also. "It's okay. I can keep him so you can have a break."

Eilin looked at her husband and offered him a fleeting half smile. "Thank you."

Thorin reached out and clasped her hand. "I don't really have anything to do today. Do you want us to go for a ride in the woods? It might make you feel better." He asked and placed a soft kiss on the back of it.

She shook her head sadly. "No, that's okay." She spoke in a hushed tone and pulled her hand from his clasp.

Thorin looked at her defeated as she kissed Thrárin's cheek and then closed the door behind her with no more words.

Thorin walked over to his office, feeling empty on all fronts by his wife's apparent dismissal. He sat down heavily and looked at his son who had doodled all over Telchar's old rune and his heart fell to the deepest pits. Not only was he not able to help his wife with all this mess, but as of late he seemed totally unable to approach her and offer her the much needed comfort she yearned. Dis told him that couples had their ups and downs and after three kids it was expected that they would go through some difficulties. It wasn't as if they hadn't been through them before, but never had he felt Eilin slowly drifting away from him. This situation with her father and all these possible candidates was turning over in her mind much more intensely than he had ever anticipated. He felt like it was almost pulling them apart and he didn't know how to undo this. Most of the times the old, loving Eilin was back, but at moments like these she treated him like a stranger in the best of cases or even an enemy in the worst and that was something he hadn't divulge to his sister or to any of his friends. He carried the fear in him without attempting to share it with anyone and that was beginning to weigh him down. Especially during moments like these.

"Hey little guy..." He whispered to his son.

Thrárin turned around and showed him the scroll. "Did I do well daddy?" he mumbled.

Thorin took the scroll and pretended to look at his doodle carefully. "What is this supposed to be then?"

Thrárin looked offended. "A tree!"

Thorin raised his brows and nodded. "A tree of course..."

Thrárin grinned. "Its an oak, like the one uncle Bilbo has put in front of our door."

"Planted..." Thorin said thoughtfully.

"What?" Thrárin looked up.

"Planted...not put..." Thorin corrected him, but his heart was not in it and Thrárin picked up on that.

"Planted. Daddy are you okay?" He said and began munching on his finger.

Thorin gazed at him momentarily and smiled sadly. "I am fine my love."

"Is mommy okay?" Thrárin frowned.

"Sure she is." Thorin didn't hesitate and caressed his forearm.

"Why were you yelling at each other?" Thrárin raised his brows.

Thorin's heart fell. "We weren't yelling. We had a small argument."

"About Durin again?"

Thorin shook his head. "No."

"About grandpa Othin?" Thrárin asked with an innocence that touched Thorin's heart deeply.

The King nodded quietly. "Yes...about grandpa."

Thrárin nodded and then took the scroll back. "I'll draw grandpa." He said decisively.

Thorin gave him the quill and frowned. He remained silent, observing his son as he doodled what he imagined his grandpa to be like. His eyes got lost in the crooked circle and the dots for eyes and by the time Thrárin started drawing a few stray lines as hair to that circle Thorin had completely zoned out so when the door knocked again he visibly jerked. He blinked lost for a few moments and then spoke. "Come."

Balin entered with a smile. "Kicked that bloody villain out."

Thorin pursed his lips and nodded. "Thanks."

Balin stopped in front of the desk and looked at the sad countenance of his friend before turning his eyes to the young Prince. "I am sorry this had to happen in such a manner..."

"Again..." Thorin added with a quiet voice.

Balin inhaled deeply. "The first guards at the bottom of the stairs are going to be reprimanded severely. Don't worry lad."

Thorin shook his head. "No need Balin..."

His advisor frowned. "You just had a major argument with Eilin about this fool..." He pointed towards the door.

Thorin shook his head. "I said no need." He exhaled a long held breath.

Balin's lips curled down and he observed the King long and hard before speaking again. "Did you talk to her?"

Thorin gifted him with a subdued gaze that spoke more than any words would have.

Balin crossed his arms. "She was in no mood to talk..."

Thorin shook his head.

Balin pursed his lips. "This is breaking her."

Thorin leaned back to his elaborate chair. "And I cannot help her..." He whispered.

Balin looked up at that, but didn't speak.

It took the young Prince's intervention to make Thorin look up from his hands again. "Daddy, I drew grandpa!" He exclaimed.

Balin exhaled and his shoulders deflated. "Can I see too?" He asked and leaned over to observe the scroll.

"Sure uncle!" Thrárin pulled the drawing away from his dad and presented it proudly at Balin.

"Oh, that's amazing. Grandpa Thrain would have been so proud of you!" Balin said with a huge grin.

Thrárin raised his brows. "Hey, that's grandpa Othin, not Thrain!"

Balin looked surprised. "Oh, is it?"

"Yeah, don't you see?" Thrárin pointed at the drawing frustrated.

Balin nodded. "Ah, now that you mention it I can see what you mean alright."

Thrárin sat back pleased. "Now I will draw grandpa Thrain!" -He said happily- "Even though he is not going to be able to see it." His beautiful azure eyes filled with fleeting sadness.

Thorin's lips curled down. "He is looking at you from Mahal's Halls my son, worry not."

Thrárin's eyes sparkled. "Maybe grandpa Othin will see his drawing?"

Thorin's face fell and Balin gave him a guarded look. "I wouldn't bet on that son." He said quietly.

Thrárin flicked his shoulders and began doodling again. "Okay."

Thorin kept his eyes on Balin until his advisor looked at him. Then he raised his brows and tilted his head.

Balin sighed and crossed his arms understanding how all this was affecting no only Eilin, but their whole family. That is when the door knocked and Thorin frowned. "I really don't want to talk to anyone." He whispered.

Balin walked to it and raised his hand. "I'll tell them that you are busy lad."

Thorin nodded and leaned back closing his eyes. Instead of being given the opportunity to calm down his thoughts and remain with his son quietly for the reminder of the day though, after a few murmurs behind the door Balin came in and kept it open. "I think you should accept this one your Majesty." He said respectfully.

Thorin cracked his eyes open and saw Durar, one of the Seven Lords and as of recently a very close friend, entering. He was being followed by a Dwarrowdam who was hidden behind his huge frame. He approached the desk and bowed deeply. "My Lord!" He exclaimed.

"Good morning Durar." Thorin's lips cracked an honest smile.

"I am sorry to interrupt you and the Prince" -he turned and bowed towards Thrárin who totally ignored him- "But my niece has just arrived from my Halls for a prolonged visit and I wanted to introduce her to you."

Thorin sighed deeply and straightened on his chair. "You did well my friend."

Durar's face brightened and he led in front of him an extremely beautiful Dwarrowdam of long blonde hair and dark brown eyes that were cast on the floor. She was carrying a young boy in her arms and the moment she faced the King she curtsied deeply. "It is an honour to meet the King of the North." She said shyly and avoided his eyes.

Thorin looked at her long and hard before speaking. "An honour it is for me to get to know one of Durar's relatives."

Durar came to next to her and took over. "Íth is the widow of Commander Burinur. One of the best soldiers of my army."

Thorin frowned. "A widow?"

Íth looked up at him and her demeanour darkened. "My husband died three years ago, your Majesty."

Thorin kept her eyes for a few moments before looking at his hands. "I am sorry, my Lady." He said quietly.

Íth curtsied again.

Thorin looked at his son who was still doodling and then at the boy in her arms. "This is your son?"

Íth gazed up at him and slowly her face opened up. She gifted her boy with a sweet smile and caressed his blonde curly hair. "This Brunar, my warrior."

Thorin was unable to stop the smile from forming on his lips. "Nice to meet you Brunar." He said and the boy hid his face on his mom's fur lapels.

Íth smiled widely. "I am sorry my Lord, but he is very shy."

Thorin gazed at the boy and his eyes mellowed. "How old is he?"

"He has seen four winters, my Lord." Íth responded proudly.

He could recognise the pride a mother took on her children. He had seen and admired it in Eilin too. "Same age as Thrárin." He said and caressed the back of his son.

Íth's brow wrinkled. "This is the Prince?"

Thorin nodded, bearing the same pride as her and not even understanding it. "One of them, yes."

She bend the knee deeply and jerked Brunar. "My love this is the Prince of the Crown. Turn around and salute him."

The boy grasped his mom's shoulders tightly and tried to hide in her bosom. That caused Thorin to chuckle. "Leave him alone for Mahal's sake. He is too young to comprehend such notions yet."

Íth looked at him timidly and pressed her lips. "Thank you for being so understanding, my Lord."

"They are the same age. I know what to expect." Thorin flicked his shoulders.

Durar crossed his arms and looked proudly at his niece. "The King has two more children. Twins! One of them is ..."

Íth intervened respectfully. "The great Durin the Seventh or else the Deathless. All of Middle Earth knows." She averted her eyes from the King in reverence.

Thorin pressed his lips. "Or else Durin-the-one-who-will-end-up-killing-me."

Íth looked at him and smiled after a moment. "Is the great Durin so difficult then, your Majesty?"

Thorin raised his brows. "More than, even though you must know what I am talking about. You are raising a boy yourself."

Íth hugged her son tightly. "He is a quiet soul, my Lord. Especially after the death of his father. He isn't causing me any trouble at all, which at times I will admit worries me."

Thorin's smile melted into a serious frown and he was about to answer when Thrárin looked up from his doodles. "Hey you, wanna see my drawings?" He said at Brunar.

Íth raised her brows at the King who tilted his head in uncertainty. She rubbed the back of Brunar. "It's the Prince. He is talking to you honey."

Her son looked up from her shoulder timidly.

Thrárin showed him the doodles. "Its my grandpa...one of the two." He said proudly.

Brunar wiped his nose with the back of his hand. "I can draw too." He said with a quiet voice.

Íth smiled widely. "Want to show the Prince?"

Brunar shook his head in hesitation. "No..."

"Wanna be my friend?" Thrárin asked him with a self confidence Íth longed for her son to have.

Brunar's lips twitched before he said. "Yeah."

Thrárin gave him a curt nod. "You can draw with me all the time and we can play also."

Brunar leaned his head on his mom's shoulder, but kept his eyes on the red headed Prince. He didn't speak.

Thorin was about to answer when a guard made his appearance and addressed Durar. "My Lord, Prince Fili needs your presence in the army barracks immediately!"

Durar pursed his lips and looked at his niece. "Come on, I have to go." -Then he turned to Thorin- "It was a pleasure presenting you one of my favourite relatives, my King."

"It's okay, Balin will look after her. Go to the Prince. I think Thrárin just found a new friend." Thorin said calmly.

Íth curtsied to both her uncle and the King. "Thank you, my Lord."

Durar grinned at Thorin. "Drinks on me tonight? I'll drag the others in too."

Thorin exhaled and averted his eyes.

Balin intervened. "Say yes lad."

Thorin looked up after a moment and nodded. "Sure."

Balin followed Durar out and before closing the door he offered a smile at the polite Dwarrowdam and her shy boy. "I will be waiting out here to show you to your chambers Madame."

Íth bowed once more. "Thank you, my Lord."

When the door closed the Dwarrowdam looked at her boots feeling truly embarrassed to be left alone with the King. As for him, his eyes got lost in the fire while his mind turned fleetingly at Eilin and their argument. It was Brunar who broke the silence this time. "I will draw with you."

Thrárin looked up. "Now?"

Brunar shook his head. "Not now."

Íth rubbed his back. "Why not honey?"

Brunar avoided the King's eyes and hid on his mother again.

"Are you tired?" Íth asked him worried.

Brunar pulled the strings of his mom's tunic and looked up at the Prince timidly. "Can I come play with you later?"

Thrárin grinned. "Can he, daddy?"

Thorin smiled. "Sure baby."

Brunar's lips broke into a small smile and then he hid himself in the crook of his mom's neck once more.

Íth sighed and kissed his temple. "Your son is so confident."

Thorin looked at the Prince. "Is he? In comparison to his brother and sister, he is very shy and mild."

Íth gazed at him intensely. "He is believe me, your Majesty. I have never seen another child draw my son in a conversation with such ease."

Thorin's lips curled up and allowed her the time to unravel her thoughts.

"Ever since his father died he has kept to himself, you see." Íth averted her eyes to the table.

Thorin suddenly felt rather uncomfortable. "I hope then that our boys can form a nice bond in the future. It might help them both come out of their armour."

Íth looked up and smiled shyly. "I hope so too, my Lord."

It took several thoughtful moments for Thorin to address her again. "Did your husband die in battle?"

Íth's dark eyes filled with sorrow and her face paled. "An accident, your Majesty."

He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

"His carriage slipped on a frozen road. They found him a fortnight later..." Her voice got diminished.

Her son wrapped his arms tightly around her and she reciprocated.

Thorin felt his heart slowing down and his fingers numbing. "I am so sorry for your loss." He whispered and his eyes welled up with unbidden tears.

Íth's mouth cracked a smile. "I didn't come here to overburden your mood with my tragedy, my Lord. I came to meet the legendary King of the North and his family."

Thorin cleared his throat and his eyes got lost in the fire. "You didn't overburden me, my Lady." He rejoined quietly.

"I saw the Queen as I was coming up, but me and my Uncle didn't want to stop her in order to make the proper introductions. I hope we didn't make a mistake by coming first to you and not to her." Íth sounded uncertain.

Thorin's beautiful azure eyes fell on her. "No, of course not."

Íth tried to explain. "She seemed in an awful lot of hurry, but I hope I might have a chance to meet her later on?"

Thorin closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. "This is a bad day for introductions with her..."

Íth bend her knee and looked down respectfully. "I am sorry, my Lord."

Thorin opened his eyes and gazed at her lost for a few moments. "A bad day indeed, but I am sure we will get a chance for you to meet my Queen soon enough. Especially if our children have decided to become best friends."

Thrárin looked up and clapped. "Yeah! I can have a best friend too, like Durin and Rhianaye!"

Thorin's lips cracked a sad smile at him. "Why not my son..." He said wistfully.

Íth smiled at the King and the Prince and her eyes glimmered. "I am so happy our boys made this connection your Majesty, but I am pushing the boundaries of what is proper. I should be going."

He found himself willing to stand up in order to escort her out. "Can me or my wife intrude your privacy if my son asks for Brunar's company?" He said carefully and walked her to his door.

She looked up as she was several inches shorter than him. "If I can intrude on your and the Queen's privacy if my son asks for the Prince..." She rejoined cleverly.

Thorin opened the door and chuckled. "It's a deal, my Lady."

Balin turned around when they came out. "Are you ready?" He asked.

Íth caressed Brunar's back. "Will you say goodbye to the King, baby?"

Brunar looked up at the impressive Dwarf who overtook the archway with his imposing presence and then grabbed the edge of the doorway and pulled himself and his mom close to it. Then he peeped inside. "Bye!" he yelled at the Prince, ignoring the huge King thoroughly.

Thrárin looked up and waved. "Bye!"

Íth snorted and released his fingers from the door. "Changed your mind? Wanna play with the Prince now?"

Brunar gave one terrified look at the King and buried his head on her shoulder again. "No..." He whined.

Thorin smiled calmly. "I think I am scaring him a little bit."

Íth looked abhorred even at the idea. "Of course not, your Majesty!..."

Thorin waved her off. "I am too large for kids. They are usually terrified around me, don't worry. I am used to these reactions. It's only my children that don't seem scared of me at all, which is not always a good thing."

Íth smiled hesitantly. "I assure you this has to do with Brunar's timid nature my Lord, not with you."

Thorin shook his head. "Maybe if your son sees Thrárin under the supervision of my wife their interaction will be easier."

Íth bend the knee and her long unbraided hair covered her rosy cheeks. "It will be an honour to meet the most beautiful Queen of our kin your Majesty and if her presence inspires our children to have a playful day that will be utter bliss for me."

Thorin's lips offered her a careful smile that she missed. "I would suggest you ask for an audience from her tomorrow. Allow her to rest today."

Íth bowed deeply. "Of course, my Lord."

Thorin sighed deeply. "Go get some rest, my Lady. It was a pleasure meeting you and your lovely son."

Íth smiled and bowed. "Me too, your Majesty."

Balin engaged her arm and soon they were strolling down the corridor and towards the long winding staircase.

Thorin crossed his arms and leaned his tall body on the frame of the door. He gazed at them absently for several moments before his mind drifted back to Eilin and how preoccupied she must have looked on her way out of his office for Durar to avoid addressing her. He closed the door to his office, deciding to do some studying as he allowed his younger son to drill holes in his ears about that boy Brunar and about all the doodles he had done about grandpa Othin, grandpa Thrain, great grandpa Thror and his family.

That was the only thing that managed to draw Thorin out of his darkness, apart from this brief meeting with the pleasant Broadbeam Dwarrowdam and her adorable son.


	3. A blacksmith's love

 

* * *

_Eilin stood at the last step almost trembling from anticipation. Holding her daughter close to her bosom and having her son toddling around the gathered crowd. Her eyes were glued upon the high road next to the River Running, looking at the dust which was being raised by the incoming troops. Like many other dwarrowdams that were surrounding her, she too was trying to detect her man. She licked her bottom lip and squeezed Rhianaye's bottom hard enough to make the little baby squirm bothered in her arms. She took the last step down and held her breath. If he was amongst them, then he should be the one leading the march. He should be the first one to make an appearance behind the dusty wall. She heard Dis' voice next to her and she almost jumped out of her skin._

_"Calm down..."_

_She shook her head. "I cannot...don't ask such a thing from me..."_

_The silence from the Princess made the Queen look at her._ _"I waited patiently for almost a month for news. I slept each night with the fear that Roac was going to deliver me the news of his inevitable death. Now that I am so close to seeing him again I cannot calm down." Eilin's eyes were full of anguish._

_Dis pursed her lips. "Roac told us that he was alright and on his way here. What more do you need?"_

_Eilin closed her eyes and shook her head. "What if something happened in between...what if they came across Orcs on their way up from the Dunlands, what if..."_

_Dis' hand landed on her forearm. "Even after a year of being married to him you aren't able to quiet your heart when he is away, are you?"_

_Eilin's eyes cracked open and gazed at her daughter who was cooing at everyone. "No...especially now that he is a father. I don't want to lose him...His children need him! I need him..." She kissed Rhianaye's black wavy hair._

_Dis crossed her arms and sighed. "It's a fear that every dwarrowdam has. Especially us that are married to soldiers..." -She hesitated and paused making Eilin look at her- "Us who were married to soldiers..."_

_Eilin's lips curled down. "I sound so egotistical and insensitive..."_

_Dis shook her head and clasped her shoulder. "I understand you." -She stopped and her frown deepened- "Still..." She hesitated._

_Eilin frowned. "Still?"_

_"You have to learn how to handle it..." Dis' eyes seared in hers._

_Eilin's brow wrinkled and she turned towards the highway. "What am I going to do if one of these days he doesn't come back?" Her voice was barely a whisper._

_Dis' face hardened and Eilin didn't notice her cheeks paling. "You will lament his death and you will raise your children to be proud heirs to his Crown. You will do what I did for my husband and my child..."_

_Eilin gazed at her with eyes that were toying between terror and sadness. She reached up and cupped Dis' hand, but she was void of words._

_Dis looked at the road and pulled back her tears. "I have told you before on many occasions. My Queen we are proud dwarrowdams. Women of brave men who yearn to die from the sword of the one they hate. When our men leave for battle we pray they return to us, but we are also prepared that they might not do so. Your husband gifted you with two amazing children. You have his soul trapped in them. If one day he doesn't return then cherish his spirit that will still live through your babies."_

_Eilin's eyes pooled with tears, but she remained quiet._

_Dis smiled and pressed her shoulder. "For Mahal's holy beard your son is identical to your husband. He is going to grow up to be a second Thorin."_

_Eilin's looked fixedly at her toddler who was walking unsteadily between the crowd. He was following a bug that was escaping him every time he tried to grasp it. A ghostly smile appeared on her lips. "They look so much alike, aren't they?"_

_Dis's smile widened. "Physically they are one and the same. I am sure they are such inside too."_

_Eilin gifted her beautiful daughter with another soft kiss. The baby leaned her head on Eilin's shoulder and cooed the dwarrowdam behind the Queen who smiled sweetly at her and waved. "Thank you for trying to make me feel better." Eilin whispered at her sister in law._

_Dis' eyes glimmered and this time she smiled towards the road. She raised her hand and pointed at it. "Rejoice my dearest, he is here." She said proudly._

_Eilin felt her heart tripping over its own beat and she looked up quickly. Indeed there he was riding in front of the march with Dain on one side and Durar on the other. Dwalin and Fili were following behind as did the rest of the regiment that went to Rohan. He looked dirty, but not dishevelled and certainly not bloody. Eilin barely had the brains not to step over her son as she dashed on the road to meet him halfway. All the dwarrowdams that were awaiting their husbands with equal worry rushed behind her in unison. She steadied Rhianaye on her shoulder and stopped in front of his proud horse out of breath. She reached up and grasped the reins while he looked at her apparently amused._

_"Thorin..." She exhaled._

_He leaned his elbows on his knees and raised his brows. "A heist, my Lady?"_

_She frowned momentarily taken aback. "I was so worried...what?"_

_He released the reins to her care and alighted. "Is this a heist from the most beautiful Queen of the North and her gorgeous baby girl?"_

_Eilin dropped the reins and cleared some wild red locks from her eyes. "Thorin don't jest please! You cannot imagine how worried I have been for you during this month!"_

_Thorin hand engaged her waist and drew her in. "I missed you too..." He whispered._

_Eilin drew in a deep breath and fell on him with a desperation that gave him pause. Her free hand came under his armpit and wrapped around his shoulder blade with a need that made him frown. Then she spoke in a muffled tone, buried as she was blissfully between the fur of his heavy coat. "I am so happy you are home..."_

_He kissed the top of her head and turned to offer a gentle kiss on Rhianaye's neck, a mere moment before Eilin's hand released his shoulder blade and cupped his cheek. She drew him down with a fervour that he appreciated more than words could tell and captured his lips in a passionately demanding kiss that stole his breath away, but lasted only too little. She then pulled back panting and looked at his lips. "I love you..." She murmured._

_He frowned and observed her face with equal zeal before sweeping down and drawing her in a ravenous kiss that made her yelp. Neither pulled back even though there was great commotion around from all the reuniting families. He devoured her shamelessly in front of his people and his children and it was only the small hand of Rhianaye which pulled his hair back that stopped him. When he raised his head and looked at his Gem, she gave him a toothless smile and cooed him with meaningless mumble. Eilin's face was blissful as she leaned on his chest. Thorin caressed his daughter's face and rubbed his nose on her cheek. "How are you baby Gem?" He spoke in a hushed tone._

_Rhianaye giggled and thrust her fist in her mouth._

_Thorin pulled her hand away and kissed it. "Hey hey, manners young lady."_

_Rhianaye looked at him with her huge green eyes that seemed larger than life and pulled her hand out. Then she started munching on a finger instead of the whole fist. Thorin's finger caressed her soft cheek and his eyes glistened with pleasure. "Did she feed well?" He asked his wife._

_Eilin nodded from his chest, not ever wanting to pull away. "Yes, my love. Almost every single day."_

_"Where is my brave boy?" Thorin's brow wrinkled and he looked down suddenly remembering his son._

_Eilin did the same and felt a wave of guilt rushing over her, as in her haste to see Thorin she forgot about their boy. "Farin!?" She cried._

_Thorin made a full turn around himself and looked between the legs of the crowd, but couldn't see him anywhere. "Farin!" His rich voice thundered and instantly a pair of small hands grasped the fur of his heavy boots. Thorin turned around with a wave of relief and saw his son gazing up at him with his gorgeous azure eyes. Calm despite the commotion around them, the baby had managed to navigate alone through all these people and locate his parents._

_"Dada." He said very clearly._

_Thorin's face melted in a wide smile and he swept Farin in his arms. "Where have you been my little warrior?" He cupped his son's face and looked at him adoringly._

_Farin smiled widely at his father. "Dada, aaaaataaaa, eeeeeee!" He reached out and wrapped his fingers around Thorin's warrior braid and pulled hard._

_Thorin laughed and kissed his cheek. "I agree with you completely."_

_"Ata dada aaaaaa..." Farin continued and then giggled._

_Eilin laughed quietly. "You know I think he is trying to have an actual conversation with you."_

_Thorin raised his brow and observed his son in admiration. "I do believe so too."_

_Eilin wrapped her free arm around his waist and led him inside the gates. "Are you tired, hurt, hungry?"_

_Thorin smiled and bounced his son who never stopped baby talking to his father. "I am all of those, but above all happy to see my family."_

_Eilin grinned and got ready to speak, but Dwalin didn't let her._ _"Cut the man some slack. He barely had the time to set foot back in his Kingdom and you almost ravaged him!"_

_Eilin looked playfully at the huge bodyguard. "Good for me!"_

_Dwalin shook his head. "Not good for the Kingdom though. Allow him to rest, because he runs everything and mistakes in his position are not easily forgiven" -He said and then looked at Loa who approached him with a smile and a white handkerchief. He raised his brow and his smile was hesitant as he reached out for it- "Hello my dear woman."_

_Loa curtsied and smiled. "Hello my Lord. Welcome home."_

_Dwalin looked at the handkerchief. "Is this for me?"_

_Loa nodded and blushed so much that Lis made a disgusted noise. "Someone kill me now please."_

_Thorin chuckled and pressed his bearded cheek on his son's smooth one, delighting in Eilin's warm embrace._

_"Silence your mouth missy." Loa chastised._

_Lis pointed at the handkerchief that was now in Dwalin's hand. "You just gave him a token of loyalty and I am standing here in front of you guys seeing the whole thing! I am not a baby like them! Have mercy!" She pointed at the royal babies._

_Thorin's laugh was lighthearted. "Allow your mother to express herself girl. We have been missing for a little more than a month."_

_Lis looked at the King crossly and turned her back at them all. "Fine, whatever..."_

_"And be more polite in your welcome..." Thorin raised his brow._

_Lis looked at him above her shoulder and instantly her eyes filled with regret. "I am not mad at you Sir..."_

_Thorin tilted his head. "Don't be mad at anybody. Just be happy we are all back."_

_Lis' lips curled down and she lowered her head as Thorin's words gave her plenty food for thought. Her mind fled to her dead father and how much his loss had cost not only to her, but to her mother. She looked at her mom's happy disposition now and on one hand she was pleased that someone else was making her mom shine again, while on the other she felt hateful that this someone came back alive, while her father hadn't. She wanted nobody to take his place...nobody._

_Eilin oblivious to Lis' internal turmoil looked up at her husband and cleaned his dirty hair away from his cheeks. "You need a bath..."_

_"Desperately..." He nodded._

_"And food..." a sweet smile covered her lips._

_"I am ravenous for you, not for food." He bit his lower lip and looked keenly at her soft lips._

_She blushed and pushed him away. "Okay, I am taking over you...now!" -She said decisively and took Farin from his arms. She was about to turn to Loa when she fell face first upon Dis who was standing there patiently to be noticed- "My lady, I almost stepped on you."_

_Thorin tilted his head slightly. "Hi gerbil."_

_Dis' controlled smile broadened as she rushed and buried herself in his arms. "Welcome home wolf."_

_He enfolded her close to his heart and kissed her forehead. "I am happy to be back to you..." He closed his eyes._

_She nodded. "Everything went well. Fili informed me..."_

_Thorin chuckled. "Did you release him from your claws?"_

_Dis nodded with a frown of regret. "Unfortunately. You see Valdis was waiting to welcome him in turn."_

_Thorin sighed and rubbed her back. "Allow them."_

_Dis closed her eyes and gave him a firm kiss on his cheek. "I did...I always do."_

_Thorin drew back and offered her a doting look. "You look as beautiful as ever."_

_Dis punched his shoulder. "Go away, go with your wife..."_

_He felt Eilin's fingers stippling around his and looked at her. "Are you coming?"_

_Dis rolled her eyes and opened her arms. "How are you going to handle him and the babies?"_

_Eilin raised her brows. "What?"_

_Dis made an impatient gesture. "Give me the twins. You've been all over each other ever since he arrived. You need some time alone."_

_Eilin smiled and gave them over. "Are you going to feed them?"_

_Dis gave a sloppy kiss to the cheek of each baby and nodded. "Feed them, bathe them and put them to sleep. Go with your husband. Have fun!" She waved them off._

_Eilin gave one last grateful look at the Princess and pressed Thorin's fingers firmly. She led him decisively down to the royal hot springs and took care of him exactly as she had offered. Needing to relate to him all the love she felt in her heart, she helped him get off his clothes and got into the water with him. She washed his hair and his body. She took care of his fresh abrasions and when he began relaxing under the waterfall she decided to offer him a quiet massage that loosened up every single muscle on his strong body. She also pampered him with myriads of kisses that started off as butterflies that woke up goosebumps on his skin and ended up with her mouth devouring him with unparalleled need. When she pushed him close to the edge of the lake and straddled him, he engulfed her with his immense presence, but allowed her to take over a love making that started off as a silent and very slow rocking and ended up with them splashing about and moaning hard enough to alert the upper levels. She barely remembered if her foggy brain counted days as Loa always advised and she didn't care. He sure didn't mention anything to her when he was reaching his heights or after the deed was done, but that might have been a consequence of his ultimate fatigue since he had being on the road for more than a month. Eilin was not going to reveal her most intimate thoughts to him at that moment, but when he emptied his passion inside her she ended up half hoping that his hot seed would blossom in her once more._

_Their bodies rode out their pleasure together and relaxed side by side enjoying their sated state in shared silence. Her fingers never stopped caressing his chest and stomach, ever so often passing above his deadly scar and lingering over it for several thoughtful moments. When she heard his breathing becoming heavy, she knew that he was about to fall asleep. She awakened him gently, dressed him up with clean clothes and led him to their bedroom. The adjoining bedroom of their children was quiet and that meant that Dis had done a very good job and they were asleep. Something that wasn't difficult for Eilin to do for Thorin also. She led him to bed, helped him off his clothes again and buried him under the heavy quilts. Sated as he was from the passionate attentions of his wife even though there was no food in him, he fell asleep quickly. As for Eilin after checking on the babies and tucking them in, she got in bed with him and wrapped herself around him. Then she closed her eyes allowing sleep to overtake her. For the first time in a month her mind and body felt truly peaceful and just before falling asleep a smile appeared on her lips and her fingers tightened firmly around Thorin's shoulder, keeping him to her._

_It was near the crack of dawn that the crying of Rhianaye awoke both of them. First one to open his eyes, despite his exhaustion from the trip was Thorin. He lifted up his head and felt his whole body heavy as led. It took a serious amount of effort for him to turn and look at his wife who was rubbing her yawning face. All his muscles felt sore and his stomach was growling, but the crying of his daughter erased every other need from his mind. He groaned and even though his intention was to push himself up and go check on his baby girl, his body decided against it and forced him to lay down again and close his eyes. "Bullocks...I didn't miss that when I was away..." he murmured._

_Eilin cracked one eye open and looked at him amused. Then she shuffled through his significant amount of hair and snorted. "I will go, sleep..." She cooed him._

_He opened his eyes slightly. "Are you sure?"_

_She nodded and leaned down to kiss his forehead. "You need to rest. I will take care of them." She reassured him and before she even got out of bed he was already snoring lightly. She threw her husband the most doting gaze and wore her warm coat above her nightdress and her heavy boots. She rushed in the children's bedroom which she had taken a lot of effort to decorate with Thorin's assistance who made both beds and their nightstands with his own two hands. She picked up her daughter and tried to hush her, but Rhianaye wouldn't have it. "Come on baby, what's wrong...are you hungry?" She whispered and kissed her daughter's head. The baby's cry became almost shrill when she understood that she had her mom's attention. Eilin lowered her nightgown down her shoulder and allowed Rhianaye to latch on her nipple. The baby released a couple of groans and moans of discomfort and instantly began sucking. Eilin closed her eyes and looked at Rhianaye adoringly. Her finger caressed the baby's small ear and Eilin's heart melted. "There you were a whole month barely waking up to feed at night...then your father comes back and you decide to raise hell in order to get his attention." She spoke in a hushed tone._

_Rhianaye groaned and shifted, but never lost touch from the of her food._

_"It's him you wanted to wake up, isn't it? You wanted him to cuddle you?" Eilin's voice gained a playful tone._

_Rhianaye closed her eyes and sucked like mad. Her little finger mauled her mom's breast to force the milk out._

_"Well, too bad I am carrying the food you little rascal..." -Eilin scrounged her nose and gave her a peck on the cheek. Then her eyes turned to her son who was sleeping soundlessly- "As for you my brave little warrior, you were raising hell during every night your father was away and now that he's home not even your sister's crying can wake you up!" She teased._

_Farin didn't react._

_Eilin sat on the rocking chair Thorin had made for her from mahogany, which was ample in the forest of the River Running. She closed her eyes and began singing a lullaby softly to her daughter while she fed._

_"A blacksmith courted me nine long months and better,_   
_He stole my heart away, wrote to me a letter,_   
_His hammer was in his hand he looked so brave and clever,_   
_And if I was with my love, I would live forever..."_

_Slowly as Eilin's magical voice filled the children's bedroom. Rhianaye began drifting away and her mouth stopped sucking. By the end of the lullaby she was sleeping calmly in her mom's arms with her mouth hanging open from Eilin's breast. Her mom looked down with a loving smile and caressed her hair gently. "Yeah, you guessed it Little Gem. I am singing about your dad..." She whispered, but had no time to reminisce on those early days were her love for Thorin was just blossoming and when his courting was at its best. The moment Eilin stopped singing Rhianaye gave a mighty kick and began crying again hard. Eilin cringed and gave a quick look at Farin. Then she peeped worried at the adjoining door to their bedroom. "Hush little darling, you will wake up both your poor dad and your brother, have you no mercy for them?" Nevertheless the baby girl didn't feel the need to share her mom's worries and began shrieking. No matter Eilin's tries to make her latch on again Rhianaye denied and finally the Queen threw in the towel and decided to take her out for a small walk to calm her down and allow her husband the much needed sleep. With a quick glance of care towards Farin she closed the door of the children's bedroom and heard the salutation of the guards outside._

_"Keep it down!" -She hissed- "The King and the Prince are sleeping!"_

_The guards exchanged a worried stare and then bowed at the Queen. She straightened her body and placed the thrashing baby on her shoulder, patting her back to help her burp. "Don't let anyone disturb my husband! Not even if Erebor is on fire, is that clear?!" She said assertively._

_The guards bowed in respect, but took care not to make any noise._

_Eilin nodded and began walking down the corridor, needing to walk as get away from the Royal chambers as possible, whilst Rhianaye didn't seem willing to calm down. Half way through the King's halls it was Rhiannon's voice that made Eilin look up sharply._

_"Is she colicky?" Her childhood friend came rushing over._

_Eilin smiled widely and drew her in for a warm embrace when she approached. Then she nodded quickly. "Something is bothering her. Probably gas. She ate pretty well a few moments ago."_

_Rhiannon caressed the baby's back and turned her loving eyes to Eilin. "Why are you out here?"_

_Eilin pursed her lips and looked towards the golden gilded staircase that led up to the Royal corridors. "He just returned from Rohan. You saw them, didn't you?"_

_Rhiannon nodded and engaged Eilin's elbow as the Queen led them to a place she had only recently discovered and adored. "I was at the gates, but I didn't want to bother . you."_

_Eilin shook her head. "He was so tired. I didn't want Rhianaye to wake him up."_

_Rhiannon smiled widely. "You love him so much..." She let that thought trail._

_Eilin raised her brows thoughtfully. "You have no idea. I love both my husband and my children to death."_

_Rhiannon nodded. "I know my dearest." She said solemnly as they entered the star fountains of the first level residential areas._

_It was a circular tall cavern that had crystals sparkling in the midst of Erebor's rocks. The masons had carved a fountain in the middle of the room which was fed by the river that passed through the mountain. The water works masters had created a true masterpiece that took Eilin's breath away from the first moment she saw it. The great lamps of blue hue hanging from the ceiling made the crystals sparkle like diamonds. Thorin had teased her a couple of times telling her that they were indeed precious stones he had decided not to dig out. Maybe what he said was real, maybe not, but it mattered little. The combination of the impressive fountains, the lamps and the fountain was almost magical and always soothing for Eilin, but also for her daughter who found great delight in the fish which swam in the huge pool._

_The moment Eilin sat at the edge of the pool and pointed at the waters, Rhianaye's shrieking stopped. "Look at the little fishies my baby. You want to feed them?"_

_Rhianaye sniffled and grasped her mom's nightgown tightly in her fist as she tried to lean over to see the fish._

_"Look at this little cutie pie. She stopped crying instantly." Rhiannon said in mild admiration for her friend's newly acquired abilities to sail through the difficulties of motherhood with a smile on her face._

_Eilin nodded and gave Rhianaye some bread crumbs that were left there at the edge of the fountain by other visitors. The baby threw them in and instantly the large fish came over to gobble them up. The baby pulled back scared and then began bouncing in her mom's arms and giggling. "She adores the fish, while Farin adores Roac." Eilin flicked her shoulders._

_Rhiannon looked at her with affection. "I missed you so much."_

_Eilin reached out and clasped her hand. "I missed you too."_

_"Who would have thought that one day you would end up married to the man you used to draw, mothering two wonderful children. Remember the old days?" Rhiannon's eyes glimmered with emotion._

_Eilin looked at her gaunt face. Rhiannon was still trying to recover even though a year had passed from her misadventure, but she was learning the ins and outs of being a maiden very fast. "Did Maria burn all of them when I left?" Eilin smirked._

_Rhiannon frowned momentarily and then dug into her pocket. "No, I saved one. I always carry it with me."_

_Eilin's eyes looked at the folded paper mesmerised and barely noticed her baby who started pushing all the bread-crumbs in the pool. "You have kept this all along. Why?"_

_Rhiannon tilted her head and offered her friend a lopsided smile. "It was the only thing I had left from you."_

_Eilin grasped her hand and squeezed it tight. "Can I see it?"_

_Rhiannon nodded and opened it up. Eilin felt her heart skipping a beat and filling up with sorrow for those dark years of the first part of her life. She looked at the elder Dwarf-Lord she had drawn with the long white hair and beard. His face was full of wrinkles, but his eyes were kind and benevolent. Eilin sighed deeply. "I couldn't have been more wrong..." She murmured._

_Rhiannon flicked her shoulder. "We were both wrong. Me in my descriptions and you in capturing them."_

_Eilin wiped a stray tear. "I am so happy you are with me again."_

_Rhiannon lifted up Eilin's hand and placed a firm kiss on the back of it. "Thank you for giving me this chance."_

_Eilin shook her head. "Thank him, not me." She said and pointed at the drawing._

_Rhiannon looked at it also. "Will you show it to him?"_

_Eilin's eyes grew wide. "No way! He is going to kill me. He prides himself on his appearance and I cannot blame him."_

_Rhiannon snorted. "Cannot blame him either."_

_Eilin looked at her playfully._

_Rhiannon pointed at the baby and caressed her wavy black hair. "I mean look at this beauty. The perfect combination of you too. As for your gorgeous son, he is identical to his father."_

_Eilin nodded unable to hide her pleasure._

_Rhiannon raised her brows. "Thank heavens the King of the North doesn't resemble this drawing. Imagine your children taking after this old relic!"_

_Eilin laughed out loud at that, but slowly her laughter died down._

_Rhiannon reached out and clasped her hand. "Hey, what's wrong?..."_

_Eilin nibbled on her bottom lip and lingered there for a few moments, in two minds about revealing this deep inner thought to her best friend._

_Rhiannon frowned and pointed at her. "I know this look. Something is ailing you. Out with it."_

_It took the Queen several moments to speak and when she did her eyes were on the back of her daughter's head. "I worship the children that Thorin has already gifted me with..." She lingered._

_Rhiannon raised both brows. "But..." She drawled._

_Eilin swallowed heavily. "Is it wrong of me to wish for more?"_

_Rhiannon's face twisted in momentary confusion. "You want more children?"_

_Eilin looked up at her and nodded._

_Rhiannon remained confused. "Of course not...I mean why not..."_

_Eilin looked like a guilty child caught with her hand on the honey cakes. She remained silent, nibbling both lips._

_Rhiannon observed her carefully for a couple of moments and then exhaled. "Why do you look guilty about something so simple?"_

_Eilin's gaze fell on her briefly and then returned to her daughter. "I didn't count days today."_

_Rhiannon frowned deeply. "Say what?"_

_Eilin exhaled exasperated. "Count days, to keep the babies away..." She waited for her friend to catch on._

_Rhiannon's mouth opened up in sudden realisation. "Oh, okay. So what...you might get another Prince or Princess then. Good! I hope they take after you, because you are far more beautiful than the King."_

_Eilin sighed and closed her eyes. "It's not that simple."_

_Rhiannon snorted. "I think it was very simple..."_

_Eilin looked at her solemnly. "I don't think he wants more children."_

_Rhiannon's happy face twisted again in confusion. "What do you mean? Why wouldn't he want to?"_

_Eilin waved her arms nervously. "The twins and the demands of fatherhood, weighed more heavily on him than he had originally anticipated. He told me, many times. I mean he loves us and shows it with every opportunity, but the few times we manage to be intimate he is very careful to count days like Loa taught us. He is trying to stop the babies from coming."_

_Rhiannon settled down. "And that bothers you."_

_Eilin gazed at her with tight lips. "It shouldn't bother me, I know. He gifted me with two charismatic twins. Why would I wish for more?"_

_Rhiannon smiled and clasped her hand. "Because you love him."_

_Eilin's shoulders slouched. "I do..."_

_"Then tell him you wish to try again..." Rhiannon advised._

_Eilin shook her head. "No...no...no...not when he is so dedicated with the counting. Not when he is so tired and torn between ruling the North and our taking care of our family. He needs rest Rhiannon, not me with a belly full of people again!"_

_Rhiannon exhaled. "So the guilt trip is that you didn't count today?"_

_Eilin nodded quickly. "I both fear he impregnated me again and at the same time I am excited by the idea."_

_Rhiannon raised both brows and whistled. "That's truly ambivalent."_

_Eilin smiled tiredly and caressed her daughter who leaned back to her mom and cuddled while her eyelids were drooping heavily. "Don't you think I know?"_

_Rhiannon observed the large fish that were still gobbling the crumbs Rhianaye threw in. "Don't lie to him."_

_Eilin looked up sharply at that. "I won't."_

_"What about today?" Rhiannon said calmly._

_Eilin scrounged her lips. "He didn't count either. He didn't even say anything. In the heat of the moment he let himself go...and that gives me a small hope that he wants it too, but he is afraid."_

_Rhiannon flicked her shoulders. "I don't blame him. He is over his head as it sounds."_

_Eilin's serious expression slowly melted. "He needs all the support I can give him. Not more responsibility."_

_Rhiannon frowned. "Well honey if he didn't count either he might have the responsibility land on his lap and this time I hope it has red hair!"_

_Eilin's lips curled up and she smiled. "I shouldn't feel guilty then?"_

_Rhiannon pulled her in and gave her forehead a kiss. "You both messed up today. Don't feel guilty, always be truthful and hopeful for the future no matter what it holds for you and him. Your love can sustain you through the difficulties of motherhood, even though I have never experienced them myself."_

_Eilin heard the regret in her friend's voice and she looked up at her. "I wish you wholeheartedly to fall in love hard enough to go blind and to fall so pregnant you won't be able to walk for nine months!"_

_Rhiannon's brow wrinkled. "Is that a wish, or a curse?"_

_Eilin stippled her fingers through her friend's and beamed. "The best wish I could ever give you."_

_Rhiannon's eyes watered. "Thank you...thank you so much..."_

* * *

Íth stood by the door and curtsied to the beautiful Queen who was looking above Íth's head towards the back wall, lost. "...Thank you so much for allowing me to come over in such short notice, my Lady."

Eilin shook her head slightly in order to clear it and smiled still partially disoriented. "And...and you are?"

Íth bend her knees deeply and lowered her head, allowing her long wavy blonde hair to fall like a blanket in front of her face. "My name is Íth, my Lady. I am the widow of commander Burinur of the Ironfoots and niece of Lord Durar."

Eilin's lips curled up slightly and she looked at the boy this dwarrowdam was carrying. Then her eyes returned to this woman's long luscious hair and the most improbable question popped up in her confused mind. "Why don't have any braids?"

Íth looked up at the Queen who was some inches taller than her and blushed. "I don't like them. I am sorry if my hair style offends you...but..." She hesitated and her eyes fell on Eilin's loose and curly hair.

Eilin noticed and touched it gingerly. Then she huffed and closed her eyes. "Of course you don't offend me. I never wear braids either that is why I was surprised when I noticed another woman with similar tastes to mine. It's rather hard to see a dwarrowdam..."

Íth spoke over her. "Detesting braids. I know." She smiled.

Eilin's mouth formed a quiet smile also. "Exactly. You said widow?" Eilin's brow shadowed.

Íth averted her eyes and caressed the back of her son who was trying to peep inside the door, searching for Thrárin. "My husband died three years ago in an accident, my Lady."

Eilin pressed her lips and looked at her hands regretfully. "I am sorry." She whispered.

Íth tilted her head and gave Brunar a loving kiss. "It was long ago, my Lady. No need to fret about it."

Eilin looked up and found herself engaged by the kindness she saw in this dwarrowdam's clear eyes. Her mouth formed a ghostly smile. "I was informed by Rhiannon that you wished to see me since yesterday. What can I do for you?"

Íth curtsied again. "I wanted to introduce myself to you since the first moment I came in Erebor, but me and my uncle came across you at the staircase that was leading up to the Royal offices and you looked way too preoccupied so I was introduced to the King first, to my regret."

Eilin crossed her arms. "Why to your regret?"

Íth looked at her with a veneration that was hard to hide. "I admire you, my Lady. I admire you to the utmost like the whole of Middle Earth does. Your rough beginnings in life which your surpassed, your honesty, your loyalty, your impeccable ethics...the rare quality of character and spirit you presented which stole the King's heart. All that has become a legend amidst our kin. A banner of hope that everything is possible if someone retains their honour throughout the difficulties of life. It was a dream of mine to get to meet you and after my uncle settled here under King Oakenshield I began pestering him for a visit. He only lately agreed and I took the opportunity to come over." -Íth hesitated visibly- "I hope I am not sounding as needy as I think I am..." She nibbled her bottom lip.

Eilin's face brightened up, but still her mind was partially lost in her own demons. Not allowing her to treat this loyal dwarrowdam with the warmth that was her trademark. Hell, lately even her husband was not feeling her warmth and all that was because of her father. She tried to push back all the bitterness which threatened to taint this meeting. She reached out and clasped Íth's forearm. "Thank your for you kind words. Know they are greatly appreciated."

Íth bowed respectfully. "The King told me to allow you to rest yesterday and ask for an audience today. Did I do well?"

Eilin's lips curled down sadly. So Thorin advised this woman to keep away after their altercation in his office about that bloody candidate. She couldn't really blame him. That meeting had turned her mood so vile that she avoided contact with everyone for the rest of the day and hurried to go to sleep before Thorin returned from work. She didn't want to face him after their rough discussion, mostly because she was guilt ridden about her own attitude. Something that she regretted this morning when she woke up all ready to make up with him, only to find his side of the bed empty. What made her guilt even more hard to swallow was that he made sure he had fed all three children himself before leaving. Then she was left with nothing to do, but partake in Rhianaye and Durin's board games and with helping Thrárin with his wooden puzzles in the company of Rhiannon and Valdis. That was until the door knocked and this beautiful dwarrowdam came along to try and pull her out of her ever growing depression with her grateful words. Her voice sounded diminished when she spoke next. "Yesterday was a difficult day for me."

Íth nodded. "The King told me..."

Eilin licked her bottom lip and tilted her head slightly. "I am happy to get to meet you today. So who is this handsome young man?" The Queen forced her mouth to form a smile as her hand reached out and caressed Brunar's back.

Íth unclenched the boy's fingers from her vest and turned him around. "Say hi, baby to the Queen of the North."

Brunar got ready to hide in his mom's vest again, but the moment his eyes fell on the exceptionally beauteous Queen and her kind green eyes, he took a double take and a small smile broke on his lips. "Hi..." he said timidly.

Íth exhaled in relief. "That's better...isn't it my baby?"

Brunar nodded and twisted his finger around one of his mom's warrior braids making Eilin notice them also. "Yeah..." -he mumbled and then tried to peep through the door again- "Where is Thrárin?" He asked with a subdued voice.

Eilin's brows rose. "You know the Prince?"

Íth hurried. "They had a rather good connection in the King's office yesterday. Prince Thrárin asked Brunar to be his friend and my son hasn't stopped asking for him all day yesterday and this morning."

That was the first time that an honest and wide smile appeared on Eilin's lips. She pulled back and showed them inside. "Please come in. My son is right there." She pointed at her younger boy.

Durin barely looked up from his game with Rhianaye, but his sister's eyes got stuck on the newcomer. "Hello." Valdis said kindly.

Íth paused and curtsied before allowing Brunar to get down. "Good morning, my Lady."

Valdis smiled widely. "You have a warrior braid." She noticed, making Eilin look at her proud that she made the same observation as her mother, almost at the same moment. In the meantime Brunar sat next to Thrárin and took a wooden piece trying to find a place to put it without asking for permission. As for Thrárin he accepted him immediately as if he had been keeping that spot all this time, just for his new friend.

Íth cracked a shy smile. "I did some mildly brave things back home I suppose..."

Eilin led her to the couch. "Please take a seat. Rhiannon, offer the Lady a cup of tea."

The first maid stood up and went to serve the new dwarrowdam who was sitting gingerly at the edge of the couch observing her son with worried eyes.

Eilin turned to her other friend. "This is Lady Valdis..."

"Proud iron maiden of the Ironhills and niece of Lord Dain Ironfoot. It is an honour, my Lady." Íth bowed respectfully.

Valdis smiled widely at her. "An honour it is for me. Welcome to our company."

Durin looked at her once more with a stern gaze that would have put his father to shame and then continued with his board game. "So what did you do that was so exceptional to earn you a warrior braid?" He sounded dreadfully bored.

Eilin sat next to Íth and cringed at her son's austere tone towards newcomers. "Durin for the sake of Mahal's holy beard...be more gentle please."

Durin gazed at his mom sternly. "When dad is missing, I am the man of the family and I need to protect you all."

Eilin frowned. "Don't think I don't appreciate your eagerness to shield us, but against whom? This is Lord Durar's niece."

"Whom we barely know anything about..." The impressive nine year old rebuked and Eilin sighed and rolled her eyes.

"I am sorry about this. My oldest son is kind off special in his own way...it's difficult to explain." Eilin tried to smooth down the roughness of Durin's attitude.

Íth stood up and then kneeled down in front of the young Prince. "Of course the Prince is special, my Lady. This is Durin the Seventh or else the Deathless and it is the ultimate honour to be in his presence."

Rhianaye smirked under her fingers, but her brother didn't yield a single smile. "At ease, Madame." He said haughtily.

Eilin reached out and clasped Íth's hand. She drew her back on the couch, just as Rhiannon brought over the tea. "Have a drink and quiet down the worries that Durin has awoken in you, please. He is unnerving to everyone who gets to meet him, but deep down he is the most caring heart."

Durin raised his brow at his mother, but remained silent.

Íth took the tea and observed the oldest son of the Queen who seemed to be a copycat of the King she met yesterday. "How can anyone sustain their nerve when in the presence of the final reincarnation of the most honourable forefather of our kin?"

Durin seemed totally unruffled by those words and more interested in the board game.

Eilin turned to Rhianaye. "Let him be, before he decides to give you the third degree. You met all our children apart from our little Gem Rhianaye. The apple of her father's eye and my ultimate pride."

Rhianaye jumped up and came up to Íth happily. She reached out her hand. "Nice to meet you ma'am."

Íth clasped her hand and brought it to her lips in order to kiss it. "An honour it is for me, young Princess. You are so beautiful..."

Rhianaye blushed from head to toes and wiggled her bottom. "You are pretty too..."

Íth's restricted smile widened and she pressed Rhianaye's hand. "What a polite and lovely little girl...I am almost jealous..."

Eilin took another cup of tea that Rhiannon bought for her. "Is Brunar your only child? He seems such a calm and collected boy."

Íth looked at her son thoughtfully. "He is my only and he is very withdrawn, my Lady. After the death of his father he seems to have lost all his spunk." Her voice became hushed and Eilin had to stretch her ear to listen to the words.

Valdis who didn't hear that last part smiled widely. "You said you are almost jealous. You wanted a girl?"

Íth looked at her and nodded eagerly. "I wished for a girl from the beginning. Mahal decided to honour me only once and with a boy. I cannot complain as my little warrior is the most precious gift my husband ever gave me."

Eilin caressed her shoulder gently. "I seem to be blessed with more boys also. This is why Rhianaye is very special to me." She whispered.

Íth's eyes glimmered. "Our kin doesn't give birth to girls easily, my Lady. That is why dwarrowdams are far fewer than their male counterparts and female births are almost worshiped."

Eilin's eyes admired her daughter who burrowed in her mom's arms. "Then the great Gods did bless us indeed with this Gem." She rejoined quietly.

Rhianaye gave a kiss to her mom's cheek and pulled back. "Come on mom enough silliness! I need to go play with Durin."

Eilin squeezed her shoulder. "Go baby."

Íth admired the Princess as she strolled happily and sat next to her brooding brother and then turned her attention to the Queen again. "I won't hide from you that I fear for my son's shy nature, my Lady. That is why I felt the first ray of hope when your son managed to draw the first words out of Brunar's mouth yesterday in the King's office."

Eilin looked at her youngest son who giggled when Brunar's wooden piece popped out of its place and flew up in the air landing in his cup of milk. Brunar looked at it frowning for a few moment before snorting. "I hope they can find company in each other. You see my twins have a special bond between them that my youngest son cannot penetrate. Plus the age difference and Durin's attitude, which is far beyond his years, are not helping either. So Thrárin gets left behind a lot."

Íth nodded and observed the two younger boys. "This is the first time since forever that I have seen my son smiling...nay strike that..." -A ghostly smile appeared on her lips- "Laughing...he is laughing." She pointed at them and Eilin turned. Thrárin was laughing so heartedly that he managed to pass down his mirth on Brunar. Eilin turned her gaze on Íth's sad eyes that were pooling with tears and felt her heart twitching.

She reached out and cupped her hand. "Keep hope close to your heart..." She whispered.

Íth turned her eyes to Eilin and swallowed hard. "Hope..."

Eilin's lips curled up in a bright smile. "No one who comes in this kingdom is devoid of hope." She said and her heart smiled with her.

Íth's eyes seared on the Queens. They remained like that looking at each other until the creaking of the door made them both look back.

Eilin's face opened up. "Honey..." She whispered and released Íth's hand and rushed to Thorin.

He looked down at his wife and his calm countenance hardened, if only slightly. "Hi...beautiful." He spoke in a hushed tone.

The hairpin at the side of her mouth curled up and she looked back at the room. "You came at the right time. Look at how well they are all playing..."

Thorin raised his brows and looked at Thrárin with Brunar who were laughing like mad. "Oh, I can see that alright."

Eilin then approached him and whispered. "Why did you leave this morning without kissing me?"

Thorin sighed and gazed at her calmly. "Why didn't you kiss me goodnight?"

"I was asleep..." Eilin rebuked, but her heart was not in it and it showed. Her eyes were eating him up longingly.

"Well you were asleep this morning also and I didn't want to wake you up." Thorin rejoined quietly.

Rhianaye stood up and came running to hug her father. "Hi daddy!" She cooed.

He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "Hi baby. Is your belly still full of porridge?" He asked her with the sweetest smile and caressed her full stomach. The need to feed and strengthen his daughter had never diminished no matter how many years had passed.

His son answered instead. "Well she ate enough for the two of us!"

Thorin raised his brow at Durin. "She needs it...we said that enough times already."

Durin flicked his shoulders and sat back calmly. "If you say so dad..."

Thorin pursed his lips. "I never got a chance to ask you if you caught Hávarthur yesterday?"

Durin's solemn face slowly twisted until it gave off the pride he felt inside at that moment. "Caught him and almost beat the living daylights out of him."

Eilin frowned. "Whatever for?"

Thorin gave her a lopsided smile. "I'll tell you later."

Rhianaye looked back at her formidable brother. "I stopped Durin from bashing Hávarthur's face in, daddy."

Durin pointed at her. "Which you shouldn't have done...You were supposed to help me, not stop me!"

Rhianaye frowned at him. "Oh come on! As if you were going to force him to take the dive. Hámundur would have stopped you!"

Durin raised his brow proudly. "I hardly think anyone can stop me so easily."

Thorin gazed at him calmly. "Apart from your sister apparently."

Durin's face became crimson red and Rhianaye clapped her hands. "Ha...apart from me indeed!"

Durin looked at Íth and knowing that his father would bash him if he spoke nastily in front of this dwarrowdam he swallowed the nasty retort that came to his mouth and remained broodily silent.

Thorin looked at Rhianaye who hopscotched back to her brother and gave another quick look at Thrárin and Brunar before turning to Íth. His mouth formed a smile effortlessly. "Good morning, my Lady."

Íth stood up and curtsied deeply. "Good morning, your Majesty."

Thorin observed the two younger boys. "I see they are playing very well today."

"Yes. As I told the Queen this is the first time in months I have seen my son laugh so heartily."

Thorin turned his attention to the beautiful face of his wife. "The Queen's soft presence helped them loosen up. I told you that was going to happen."

Íth bowed again. "You were right, your Majesty."

Eilin entwined her fingers through his and pulled him out of the room. "Excuse me for a moment whilst I have a word with my husband?"

Íth nodded. "Of course, my Queen". She gave a half hidden prolonged look at the King as the door shut behind him.

Eilin drew him a couple of steps away from the guards and released his hand.

He kept his intense eyes on hers.

She took a step forth and wrapped her arms around his waist. Then she leaned her body on his tall frame and her head on his chest. The exhalation that left her bosom resounded in the corridor. "I am sorry for yesterday." She whispered.

His arms came instantly around her and enfolded her tenderly. "Do you feel better?" He spoke in a muffled voice as his face got buried between her wild red curls.

She nodded and pressed him hard enough to evoke a low sound from his throat. "Yes."

"I really didn't want to wake you up this morning, that is why I didn't kiss you before leaving." He explained with a hushed tone.

She pressed him again firmly. "I thought you were mad at me..."

He shook his head. "Not mad, but I am sad."

She stalled. "I didn't want to talk to you last night that is why I fell asleep before you came."

He nodded quietly and his bearded cheek rubbed against her locks. He closed his eyes. "I know, that is what made me sad."

"I love you..." She didn't dither on that at all.

"Don't let this tear us apart please..." He begged.

She frowned and looked up at him. "Is that what you think?" She sounded shocked.

He swallowed and gave her a hesitant nod. "I am not sure at times...I know you don't mean for all this to happen, but it happens nonetheless. I fear what this is doing to us. I won't lie."

Her warm hand disentangled from his back and came up to cup his cheek. She drew him down. "I cannot live without you...you know that, don't you?"

He nodded gently and closed his eyes when her soft lips pecked his tenderly. "Me neither..."

She inhaled sharply and her nails clawed his cheek roughly. "I won't let this tear us apart. I promise."

His strong arms pulled her in and his lips skimmed hot above hers. "I will do the best I can to protect you and our family."

She felt her eyes welling, but held back the tears. "I know my heart."

"Tell me what to do...Just for once tell me..." He frowned and his thumb lingered under her earlobe.

"Keep them away from Erebor..." She whispered and looked at his face lovingly.

His frown deepened so much, it clouded his clear forehead. "I cannot control Middle Earth Eilin, I told you, but I will give orders to the guards. No one gets in Erebor unless they go through Balin or me first. Is that okay for you?"

Eilin felt her heart pinching her and she leaned her head on his chest. She nodded fervently and a smile appeared on her lips. "Yes, my heart. Thank you."

His forefinger caressed her earlobe and he offered her forehead a dozen butterfly kisses. "I just want to see you smile."

She squeezed him tight. "I promise to get better. Just promise to be patient with me." Her voice was hushed, almost beseeching.

"I promise, my love." He said and leaned his cheek on her head, cradling lovingly for a long time.

They remained like that quiet, with no more needs to exchange any words between them and he didn't make a move to pull away from her even though Erebor required him on its helm. Only when she drew back and gave him a firm doting kiss and a wide smile of affirmation did he allow her to return to the Royal playrooms with her ladies in waiting and went back to the barracks to find Fili and Dain.

Was his heart convinced that everything was going to be okay?

He couldn't answer that question no matter how reassuring Eilin's words and actions had been today...his perceptive inner eye saw the clouds that were forming above his Kingdom and that made him draw inwards with heavy deliberations. 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: * Celtic Lullabies - A blacksmith courted me.


	4. Nameless is my name

 

* * *

It was at noon the next day when Durin decided to barge in one of his father's famous meetings at the Throne room with a self-confidence which was not anticipated from those who didn't know his real identity. He walked proudly over the long bridge with his black hair swaying down his back and his cheeks already sporting the preliminaries of an impressive beard. He straightened his vest and flared out his chest when he saw the formidable figure of his father sitting calmly on the Throne, under the Arkenstone. He wore the Raven Crown on his head and seemed rather jaded by what Lord Dain and Prince Fili were relating to him. A couple of Lords from the Daunting Seven, as the Dwarven alliance got to be named, were at the other side opposing Dain.

"Don't listen to these clowns. Our relationship with the Elven realm is already too close for comfort." Dain grumbled.

Thorin raised his brows emphatically. "Which is something I desired, which you seem to conveniently forget."

Dain crossed his arms instantly entering a wary stance. "No one told you to break your cordial relationships with Thranduil, but Lord Elrond doesn't make social visits just for the fun of it. Especially dragging his daughter with him. There must be something going on that might concern us too."

Durar bobbed his head exasperated. "So what do you suggest? We storm Mirkwood in order to spy on them?"

Dain puckered his lips bothered. "Why not? Haven't they done so with us many times since we created this alliance? With his blessings?" He pointed at the King who heaved a sigh.

Durar's voice turned sour. "If the King is willing to allow the Elves to pry in our business, then he must have his whys and wherefores. We shouldn't retaliate unless we want to put an end to this very delicate treaty between us."

Dain threw his hands in the air enraged. "Bullocks!"

Durar disregarded him and turned to the King. "Thorin listen to me."

Dain looked at Fili for silent validation and interposed aggressively. "No, listen to me! I and Fili can go in there. It won't be difficult for us to bring back some information about Elrond's visit if you give us the opportunity."

Durar placed his fists on his wide belt. "Come on this is preposterous. We are rocking the boat! Don't you think the King would have been aware if the Elves were conspiring against us?"

Dain's regard was unyielding. "They might not be devising against us, but shouldn't they have informed us of such a vital meeting? That is what an alliance is if I am not mistaken. Why would they keep secrets from the King of North? That is not an act of good will from Thranduil's part!"

Durar pointed at bridge. "So the Elves don't have the right to invite over their kin? They have to ask for our consent...?"

Thorin rubbed his forehead feeling tired to the bone. "I knew about the visit."

Both Dain and Durar stooped and looked at him sharply. "What?!"

Thorin shook his hand indifferently. "I have been knowledgeable long before Lord Elrond came over."

Dain face palmed hard. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"It doesn't concern our kin in any tactical or political manner." Thorin looked at his cousin sternly.

That is when the voice of his son interrupted them. "Father?" Durin appeared from behind the huge frame of Dain and stood in front of the golden Throne.

Thorin raised his brows startled. "What are you doing here Durin?"

The boy looked around at the Lords courageously. "Can I have a word with you please?" His attention returned to his father.

Thorin sulked. "Right now?"

Durin cleared his throat and straightened. "Yes, please."

Thorin pointed at Dain and Durar. "I am in the middle of a bloody argument. Cannot this wait?"

Durin's face remained relatively unnerved in front of his dad's intimidating scowl. "No, it is very important father. Please." He insisted.

Thorin looked at Dain who rolled his eyes aggravated beyond recognition and then at Durar who was smiling generously towards the young, yet challenging heir to the throne. Then his penetrating eyes returned to the prince who didn't cower away from them. Thorin leaned back and looked moderately captivated by his son's nerve. He turned at Dain with composure. "We will pick this up later. Now go."

Dain puffed out loudly and pierced Durin with his eyes. "It's wrong to butt in when your father is having a serious discussion about significant matters of the state, son!"

Durin's voice remained courteous as he bowed to his uncle. "Pray forgive me, but what I have to tell him is also very important…"

Durar's hand landed on Durin's shoulder and held it strongly. "You did well my boy. Nothing is more essential for a man than to take care of his family first."

Dain threw Durar a contemptuous gaze. "Do you mind sodding off...?"

Durar's lips curled up cunningly. "Pave the way for us down this bridge and keep your mouth shut you filthy bush-humper!"

Dain muttered a rude riposte under his breath, but allowed Durar to push him on the long bridge. Fili came down to one knee and gripped Durin's shoulders. "You are daring my boy! Not everyone can face that solid block of stone and survive to tell the tale."

Durin's lips broke in a refined smile. "Thanks uncle."

Fili drew him in a warm hug which Durin accepted with a smile. "Take your time to talk to your father. There is no hurry."

Durin kissed Fili's cheek. "Okay." He whispered inaudibly and watched his favorite uncle join the others. When everyone disappeared under the rune carved entrance to the cloister the Prince turned towards his father, but remained mute.

Thorin pushed himself up and towered over Durin. Commanding as ever he gave his son a long pause. "So..." -he drawled- "You just managed to disturb an important meeting."

Durin swallowed heavily and felt the first traces of alarm in his stomach. Thorin had acquired the approach that unnerve Durin the most. The icy, void eyes that demanded a good excuse even for Durin's very existence. "I am sorry I did father, but it is important..." He slurred feeling his valor backing away quickly under his father's hard scrutiny.

"Well...go on." -Thorin gave him an icy regard - "What's so important then..."

Durin's jawline flexed. "Dad you are making me feel guilty already and I haven't even told you why I am here for!"

Thorin raised his brows emotionlessly. "Oh well forgive me for playing on your guilt, but the earth doesn't revolve around you Durin..."

Durin felt his fists clenching at that.

"If you haven't noticed there are others dwelling in Erebor too and their concerns are equally significant to yours." Thorin rebuked.

Durin's face set in annoyance. "Very well, I won't disturb you anymore with my problems!" He spat and turned around to leave.

"Don't you dare!" Thorin's rich voice thundered in the great cavern.

Durin stopped with his back to his father and his body quivered hard at that explosion.

Thorin walked slowly towards his son and crossed his arms behind his back. "Don't you dare leave now without telling me why you came here in the first place."

Durin closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. He remained silent.

Thorin raised his brow slowly. "Don't play with my mood today Durin, I warn you."

Durin forced himself to turn around. "Stop..."

"Stop what?" -Thorin tilted his head- "You were the one who interrupted my meeting..."

Durin spoke over him. "Because I wanted you to share my worries..."

Thorin spoke over him too. "Then share them. I am listening!"

Durin closed his eyes again and didn't utter a word.

It took Thorin several moments to quiet down the irritation that was festering inside him. "Does this have to do with happened at the waterfalls with your friend? I didn't tell your mom anything, but she will eventually find out for sure." He forced his voice to calm down and sound more open.

Durin shook his head. "No, it's not dad."

"Something with your sister then?" Thorin continued.

Another negation.

"Your little brother?"

Durin sighed. "No, dad..."

Thorin threw his hands in the air. "What then?!"

"Mom!" Durin spat and turned around. His eyes were spewing fire as his long hair flew above his shoulder and rested on top of his chest.

"What about mom?" Thorin lost his aggressiveness temporarily.

Durin crossed his arms. "She is not allowing me to grow up!" He protested.

Thorin pulled back even more confused than before. "What?"

Durin rolled his eyes. "Dad, when you are away am I or am I not the man of this family?" He asked seriously.

Thorin raised his brows and felt his momentum broken by this sudden twist of things. "Of course you are."

Durin let a breath out angrily. "Does mom know that or does she want to be the man of our family instead?"

Thorin pressed his lips and examined his son for several moments. Then he approached and came down to one knee. His hand fell heavy on Durin's shoulder. "You are the man of the family when I am away, but you are still too young to take over some responsibilities. That is where your mother comes in. She can be both the mother and the father of this family and she is more than capable of doing so."

Durin rolled his eyes in frustration. "That is not what I am saying."

Thorin's hand held his son's shoulder. "Care to tell me then?"

Durin gazed up at Thorin with his expressive azure eyes. "Mom didn't allow me to do my job the other day. She offended me in front of Durar's niece."

A new confounded frown adorned Thorin's brow. "How did she offend you?"

Durin kept his father's stare firmly. "I tried to act like the man of the family, like you always tell me to do and mom disregarded my attempts in the worst manner possible in front of this Dwarrowdam."

Thorin's lips curled down. "How did she do that?"

"She told me to stop questioning Durar's niece..."- Durin glowered, still bothered by the memory and then remembered something else which had annoyed him the same day- "And then you came along and you said that Rhianaye is able to control me in front of this woman! You both dishonored me!"

Thorin sighed. "Wait a moment son..."

Durin pushed Thorin's hand away. "I won't wait! Both you and mom are undermining the authority you have bestowed on me in the first place! You always talk about the heavy lineage I carry on my back and how much you expect from me! Then the next moment you both treat me like a baby!"

Thorin's countenance crumbled under this attack. "I made a joke for Mahal's sake..."

Durin exhaled hard, feeling infuriated. "You made a joke about me...in front of a stranger!"

Thorin tried to reply. "Durin you are making this into a bigger deal than it is..."

Durin interrupted him. "Yeah, I am the faulty one as always. What about mom then? She acted like my opinion didn't matter at all."

Thorin reached out and grasped Durin's other shoulder as well. "Let's take a moment to breathe, alright?"

Durin remained silent.

"You said Eilin stopped Íth's interrogation. What exactly where you asking her?" Thorin said quietly.

Durin flayed his arms about. "Does it matter? Anything that I deemed as essential. We barely know this woman and her son suddenly became Thrárin's best friend. Don't I have the right to ask some information from her, especially in your absence when it concerns my baby brother?"

Thorin raised his brow, taken aback by his son's ferocity and exhaled noisily. "She's not a stranger. She is Lord Durar's niece and I have met her and her son already."

That gave pause to Durin which didn't last long. "Still my job is to protect my family! Protect my brother! I don't know her at all."

"Protect us against whom? Durar's niece?" Thorin's brow creased in his effort to understand the source of his son's anger and extinguish it.

Durin pulled away feeling let down. "You are speaking exactly like mom..."

Thorin's lips curled up. "Well, we are married you know. We have a similar way of thinking. It is a prerequisite in a marriage." His try at another joke fell to the void once again.

Durin inhaled deeply. "Don't try to excuse mom. Give me the credit that I am owed."

Thorin's brow clouded. "Durin, listen to me..."

Durin felt his chest welling abruptly. His mom may have disappointed him, but his father's opinion mattered the world to him and when he felt wronged by him it hurt...hurt him really bad in his heart. "You are treating me like a baby too..." His voice diminished.

Thorin's eyes became imperious. "I didn't treat you like a baby when you were hanging by the mouth of the waterfall..."

Durin's bearing broke slightly at that.

"I treated you like a man!" Thorin's thick brows came together strictly.

Durin felt the welling that was previously hiding in his chest now edging on his eyes and he didn't want to look weak in front of his father. "Do you want me to become the mighty Durin you are all expecting out of me or do you want me to remain a baby, father?"

Thorin's eyes filled with grief and he opened his mouth to reply, but Durin's ferocity didn't allow him to answer.

"I wish you and mom will finally decide, because I don't know what to do to please you..." Durin cried.

Thorin tried to pull him over. "Please us? You think all this is done because we wish you to please us?" He asked in disbelief.

Durin drew back sharply. "Just decide how you want me to act! Both of you!" He cried and ran out of the Throne room.

Thorin exhaled defeated and rested on his shins. He looked at his young boy running away and felt overcome with bitterness at his obvious inability to comfort Durin's worries. His hand caressed his bearded chin and he closed his eyes as Durin's heavy boots echoed further and further away. "Who ever said that being a parent was an easy thing..." He whispered.

The last thing he needed now was to call back Dain and Durar and take up again the dispute about the sudden visit of Lord Elrond and his daughter Arwen in the Elven realm. He stood up with a heavy heart and a throbbing headache in dire need to find Eilin and discuss what happened with their older son. Both him and her needed to be more careful how they treated him in front of strangers and above all they needed to find a way to soothe down all the concerns and fears this ancient spirit was passing down to the young mind of his boy. He couldn't even imagine how hard it was for Durin to try and balance the severe personality of his ancient spirit and all the expectations the Kingdom of the North had from him. His youthful heart should have been playful and carefree not overstrained by ancient ghosts.

The internal conflict that always emanated from Durin had been viewed with foreboding from Eilin and with quiet reflection from his father. Most of the times Thorin's fair treatment and Eilin's loving nature balanced out Durin's troubled heart, however at times like these Thorin found himself at a complete loss. He felt like he had no control over his older boy...heck...he felt like he had no control over any of his children. Then the scrutiny turned inwards and he condemned himself for being a much worse dad than Thrain had ever been on him.

After the tense confrontation with his son, he disregarded all the Lords who were waiting to talk to him and walked purposefully away from the Throne room to search for his wife. As he did so, his mind recalled the way Thrain would have probably handled this conversation with him in the past. He tried to reenact his father's answers to see were their reactions concurred and were they varied making himself feel worse and worse about his inability to keep Durin close to him in order to solve this disagreement in a productive manner. Thinking that probably his boy had gone up to the top parapet to seek the company of Roac in order to calm down, Thorin felt quietened enough to allow him some time alone. He would have never imagined that Durin at that moment was saddling one of the best ponies while Thrárin was standing next to him chewing the strings of his sleeve.

* * *

"Are you going to stand there looking at me like a buffoon?" Durin muttered and placed the saddle on the back of the pony.

Thrárin gazed at him with religious devotion. "Where are you going?"

One of the guards who stood at the flanks of the Royal stables looked inside concerned.

Durin's face stiffened. "To prove myself worthy to our father."

"Haven't you done that already your Majesty?" The guard asked gently.

Durin's eyes fell on him tense, but his inquiring was silent.

The guard felt the need to clarify. "Your dangerous dive from the waterfalls has become part of Erebor's history already your Majesty."

Durin raised his brow. "And you think that is enough for my formidable father?"

The guard looked at him restlessly, but didn't speak.

"Try having the King of the North as a dad and then maybe you'll understand that such feats are not enough to appease him." Durin admonished.

The guard tried to speak again, but Durin raised his hand with authority. "If I need your opinion again, I will ask for it. Now stand guard and remain silent." He spat.

The guard bowed deeply and pressed his fist on his chest. "At your orders your Majesty."

Durin exhaled and tightened the belts of the billet strap. "As for you" -He turned to Thrárin who remained standing next to him in quiet commitment- "Go back to mom."

Thrárin shook his head. "I don't wanna."

Durin rolled his eyes. "Go find Rhianaye then!"

"She is with Gloriel." Thrárin replied.

Durin's lips curled down and his face broke in annoyance. "So go and ask to play with Brunar."

Thrárin twisted his bottom around. "Don't wanna."

Durin threw his hands in the air. "What do you want then?"

Thrárin pointed at him. "I wanna stay with you."

That made Durin slouch slightly. "I don't have any food to give you now." He said thinking that was the only reason his younger brother would pester him for. Usually he stayed away when Durin told him to leave unless he was hungry.

Thrárin grinned. "I am not hungry."

Durin frowned confused. "What's the deal with you today?"

Thrárin flicked his shoulders. "I wanna stay with you."

Durin placed his fists on his waist and leaned down. "Well guess what midget. I am not staying in Erebor today!"

The guard looked at the Prince above his shoulder.

Thrárin's grin grew wider. "I wanna come with you then." He pointed at the pony.

Durin's drew back startled. "You want to leave Erebor without mom or dad knowing?"

Thrárin released the chewed strings of his sleeves and embraced Durin's waist. "I don't care. I have you." He cooed and closed his eyes.

If nothing else had been able to mellow down the heart of the mighty Durin that day, this small loving declaration from his baby brother did the trick. The anger he had been feeling swirling in him hot, started slowly to unwind. He embraced Thrárin back and held him tight. "I love you too." He spoke inaudibly.

Thrárin giggled. "I know."

Durin frowned. "When you are not becoming a nuisance."

Thrárin bobbed his head. "I won't become a nosanse."

Durin beheld his brother in mild admiration. "You want to ride with me then?"

Thrárin gave him an animated nod. "Yeah!"

"To wherever I want to go?" Durin's brow creased.

Thrárin began hopping all around. "Yeah! Are we going to go far?"

Durin secured all the straps and helped his little brother on the saddle. "We'll see."

Thrárin threw Durin an eager glance as the older Prince got on the pony after him. "Can we go find Tauriel?"

Durin's mouth broke in an elusive smile. "I don't know yet."

"Your Majesty should I notify the Kind and the Queen that you are leaving?" The guard asked cautiously.

Durin's conduct turned stony. "Notify them that we wanted to go for a simple ride? Is your job to spy on me?"

The guard shook his head not knowing how to answer. "Of course not, Sir!"

Durin's brows lifted in a subtle indication of superiority. "Very well then, stand aside." He commanded and the guard did so.

Durin urged the pony forth and when they passed, the guards they saluted in a military manner. They found no other obstacle up to the gates and Durin was happy that uncle Balin, Fili or Dain weren't anywhere close by. Furthermore Lis was nowhere to be seen which was a blessing as she was the worst stoolpigeon ever. She always told everything that Durin did to his father and had no remorse about it.

When they exited the gates Durin put the pony at a quick trot being careful to hold Thrárin tightly so he wouldn't fall from it. This was the age that Thorin started training his children in riding and young Thrárin was still too fresh to handle a pony alone. He even had difficulty riding with company while Durin had already excelled in ponies and had begun training with horses. Nevertheless he was much bigger than both his brother and his sister whom Thorin denied the opportunity to get on a horse yet. It was a point of impact between Durin and Rhianaye which didn't ruffle his feathers, but always surged Rhianaye's blood with anger. Still she was too thin and short to attempt a ride with those wild horses.

After a long unhindered ride he and Thrárin halted close to the borders of Mirkwood and Durin felt irresolute on how he wanted to continue. His anger had withdrawn from the ride out in the open so he was debating whether it was wise to ride through this ancient forest in order to place down his name in history again...this time in a different manner. Hadn't his father become famous later in life when he stormed Thranduil's kingdom more than a few times? Didn't he once steal one of Thranduil's prized horses earning praises from his kin and the wrath of the Elves? Durin snorted and Thrárin looked up at him.

"What?" He asked and sucked his nose.

Durin frowned at him. "Are you getting a cold or something?"

Thrárin shook his head. "No."

"I don't want mom to thrash me for taking you back sick..." Durin mumbled and looked at the solid wall of intertwined barks and roots in front of them.

"I am not sick. Why were you laughing before?" Thrárin asked him.

"Because our relationships with the Elves are too good now for me to attempt what dad had done so many times in the past." Durin said.

"Do what?" Thrárin frowned.

"Storm their realm and raise hell in the name of our kin!" Durin felt his blood bubbling even at the thought.

Thrárin beamed up to him. "Tauriel is my friend..."

Durin's shoulders slumped. "Yeah I know. Do you always have to spoil all the fun?"

Thrárin's face turned sad. "I'm sorry."

Durin's forehead cleared and he sighed. "That doesn't mean I cannot make history nonetheless."

"How?" Thrárin glared at him.

"There is a place the Elves don't want us to visit. A place we don't want the Elves to visit. We have an unspoken agreement to keep away, both of us. That is what father has told me..." Durin whispered and urged the pony forth. As they passed under the archway of thick braches and faced the first Elven statues, Durin's lips formed into a crafty smile.

"What place?" Thrárin asked and burrowed further in Durin's arms, trying to hide between the fur lapels of his coat.

Durin pulled him in protectively. "A place of darkness that our father has never challenged..."

That was the first moment of this daring venture that Thrárin's face broke with lines of distress, but Durin never saw it. His eyes were fixed on the Elven path, which he knew how to navigate very well.

* * *

Thorin searched the scrolls in front of him with a hollow stare, not really want to take anything in. He inhaled deeply and then exhaled hard. His eyes closed and his hand crumbled up one of them without any real remorse for destroying the manifesto that he was trying to compose for the Lords. His conversation with Eilin wasn't going as well as he had intended it to go.

"That's all your doing!" Eilin spat and Thorin looked up at her stiff body.

"Whenever something goes wrong it is my doing. Whenever everything runs smoothly it's all your doing." He rebuked strictly.

Eilin turned at him angrily. "Don't try to turn this around Thorin. It's you that has been filling up my boy's head with all these magnificent ideas about his ancestry."

Thorin threw the crushed scroll away and stood up. "Which cannot be doubted! Not even for a moment!" He hurled at her.

Eilin gasped. "Very well. Look what all this grand talk has done to my baby."

Thorin's eyes thinned. "He is not a baby anymore and I thought he was ours, not just yours!"

"Well, he is not a grown man either and don't play with words you are pissing me off!" She barked.

Thorin took several steps towards her, unyielding. "What has all this talk done to him then, pray tell me! He is not just a boy Eilin. He is Durin the Deathless. We need to raise him accordingly, not pamper him. He needs to take on responsibilities."

"He is just about to become nine! What are you talking about?" She bellowed.

Thorin crossed his arms. "At his age I was burdened with many obligations. Don't forget that his mind is much more mature than his body and he proves that to us everyday."

Eilin sighed deeply and scrutinized him for several moments before deciding to talk. "I thought you didn't want to be like your father..."

Thorin's expression broke at that.

She raised her brow. "You are acting like him now."

Thorin straightened his body against the verbal assault and tilted his head. "Well, forgive me for trying to make up for your fiascos…"

Eilin's face twisted in pain. "What do you mean?"

"You are taking away every effort he makes to have some accountability for his family. You are emasculating him!" Thorin snarled.

Eilin's mouth dropped open and her face paled. "Thorin that was low."

He pressed his lips and his brow raised. "As were your words about my father."

Eilin held his scrutiny for several moments before slouching in defeat. "Is this what we are going to do now? Argue about who managed the biggest dent in the other's ego?"

Thorin cupped his mouth and shook his head. "Not my original intention, I assure you."

Eilin looked up at him and drew in a deep breath. "I am sorry for what I said about your father."

Thorin pursed his lips. "I am sorry for what I said about you castrating our son."

Eilin crossed her arms. "So is this a truce?" Her lips ghosted a lopsided smile.

Thorin heaved a breath. "A truce that solves absolutely nothing unless we agree in a common way to parent him. I cannot challenge him to dive off the mouth of the waterfall in order to win a bet and the next moment you undermine him in front of Durar's niece!"

Eilin looked at him long and hard and her face hardened. "You did what?" Her voice dropped low.

Thorin crossed his arms and looked away. "I meant to tell you..."

"Are you crazy Thorin!?" Eilin flayed her arms in fury.

Thorin raised his arms in defeat and turned around needing to get away from her if only for a moment. "There we go again. Time for another round."

Eilin followed him and grabbed his shoulder. She turned him around and stuck her finger at his face. "Another round alright. Did you just say that you allowed...no scratch that...that you challenged our son to dive off the mouth of the waterfalls!?"

Thorin rolled his eyes. "Yes..."

Eilin grasped her temples. "Are you mental? He could have died!"

Thorin bobbed his head calmly. "I know…"

Eilin's eyes burned through his with the protective spirit of a fiery mother who just pictured her son dying. "Then why in the name of sanity did you do it!? What happened to all these previous times where we managed to bring him down! What took place this time?"

"Havarthur challenged him." Thorin replied quietly.

Eilin drew back confused. "So what..."

Thorin's demeanor stiffened. "A dwarf never backs away from a challenge."

She grabbed the leather lapels of his vest and shook him. "This is your nine year old boy we are talking about. Not some random dwarf!"

His hands wrapped around her wrists and drew her in. He leaned down to her face. "The rule stands for everyone, but I cannot really expect you to understand."

Eilin pulled her hands away and humphed. "Who can understand your mentality indeed. Did I expect you to act more wisely towards your son than Thrain acted towards you?"

Thorin felt the stab a little too close for comfort this time and he hit back. "No you cannot understand the mentality of my kin."

She turned around sharply. "Your kin not ours?"

Thorin raised his brow and felt waves of adrenaline rushing through his blood. "You weren't raised amongst us."

Eilin's mouth dropped open and she felt her eyes welling. Those words twisted her stomach around, making her mouth fill up with sour taste. "That hurt..." She whispered.

Thorin's stony expression momentarily broke when he saw the distress his words caused his wife and he reached out to her. "I shouldn't have said that, I am sorry."

She drew back. "We keep apologizing for our roughness and then we go back to antagonizing each other. What about Durin…this is what matters most to me right now." Her voice turned unemotional.

He took another step closer. "Can we stop fighting over our children, please?" His voice lost all its harshness and sounded ever so slightly crushed.

She closed her eyes and embraced her shoulders. "I don't want our boy to feel undermined. That was never my intention when I told him to stop questioning Durar's niece." She said after several tense moments.

"Can you make an effort to treat him like an adult even though he is not?" Thorin hand fell heavy on her shoulder and pulled her back to him.

She didn't resist. "I will if you promise never to endanger him like that again, for I swear if anything happens to him...to any of our children I will die."

Thorin leaned his chin on her head and heaved all his sorrow upon her. "Not when there is a challenge to his manhood Eilin. I shall not undermine the bravery of the next King of our kin. He is not just our child. He is both the child and the father of us all. Can you understand that?"

Eilin leaned back on his chest and her fingers skimmed gently on his hand. "It's very hard for me."

"But a necessary evil. Allow him to take over and never undermine him in front of strangers. You want to challenge the restricted authority I have given him? Very well, do it in private behind closed doors." Thorin said in a hushed tone and his lips offered a butterfly kiss on the top of her ear.

She shuddered and her eyes closed. It took her a long time to offer him a quiet nod. "I will try..."

His arms that were already around her chest held her tight. "Can we stop fighting now?"

A broken exhalation left her. "Until next time."

Thorin's brows creased. "I really want to talk to you about that..."

She pressed her lips. " About our constant bickering?"

He nodded gently. "We need to stop it...Eilin this is exhausting me..." He didn't know if she heard the pleading undertone in his voice, but the knock on the door of his office didn't allow him to find out or maybe try to express it as he had originally intended. By telling her that fighting with her for any reason was breaking him apart.

Eilin looked up sharply and answered for him. "Come."

Thorin didn't release her from his arms and she didn't try to leave as the door opened and Balin led Lady Íth inside. "Your Majesties, there seems to be a problem." He mumbled.

Lady Íth entered, holding Brunar by the hand. "My King, my Queen." She bowed.

Eilin patted her husband's hand and gave it a gentle peck before pulling away from him. "What is it?" She frowned.

"It seems that Lord Durin is missing along with Lord Thrárin." Balin wiped away his upper lip and looked with dread at the King.

Thorin's bearing paled and his hand wrapped around Eilin's wrist pulling her back. He walked in front of her and towered over Balin and Lady Íth. "What do you mean they are missing...?" He whispered and felt a cold hand encasing his heart.

Íth curtsied and looked at Brunar. "My son asked for Prince Thrárin and we went to your rooms. Pray forgive my audacity, but I was expecting to find the Queen there. Instead no one was in apart from the Princess, a young girl that was dressed like a boy and your first maiden."

Eilin's small hand wrapped around her husband's muscular forearm and she felt her throat drying it. "Lis and Rhiannon. So where are my sons?"

Íth paled. "They didn't know. The Princess said she hadn't seen them since this morning."

Balin intervened and there was an urgency in his voice that was not lost at the King. "The guards of the Royal stables said Lord Durin rode away with Lord Thrárin on Eogan."

"The pony the Rohan envoys had brought us over as gift?" Thorin frowned.

Balin nodded. "Yes laddie."

Thorin reached out and grabbed his arm hard enough to make him groan in pain. "Where did Durin say he was going?"

"On a ride with his brother that is why the guards didn't stop him, but they heard him say something to his brother that partially worried them." Balin rejoined.

Eilin felt her throat closing down. "Thorin..." she slurred.

He gave her a quick look and then turned to his advisor. "What did he say?"

"That he needed to prove himself ...to you." Balin's words barely came out.

Eilin's fingers twisted painfully around his forearm. "Thorin..." she repeated and felt the world fading away around her.

Ith released the hand of her son and rushed to the Queen. Her arm came under Eilin's armpit, holding her up. "Are you alright, my Lady?"

Eilin gave her a vacant stare of terror. "My boys..." She murmured.

"Laddie?" Balin frowned when he saw the lost look in Thorin's eyes.

It took the King more than a few moments to comprehend what was going on, but when he did his body went into overdrive and erupted with uncontrollable urgency. While Eilin grasped Íth's hands for support and tried to pull herself together, Thorin hastened down the corridor and his deep roar echoed loud enough to be heard down to the King's Halls. "Sound the trumpets!"

Balin followed him quickly. "Sound the trumpets!" He repeated.

Thorin grabbed every guard he found on the way and howled at their faces. "Sound the alarms! Gather a brigade! Comb the River Running and Mirkwood. Alert Thranduil! Find my kids before I kill every single one of you!"

It was Dwalin's heavy hand that managed to stop him. "Steady mate..."

Thorin turned his to his best friend and Dwalin recognized the anguish pictured in them. "Find them for me Dwalin..." His voice was dowsed.

Dwalin's face set in fortitude. "We'll find them or else Middle Earth shall be burnt to ash!"

Thorin's fingers wrapped tightly around Dwalin's forearm. "Now!" He groaned.

Dwalin's commanding voice thundered. "Gather a brigade you stinking trolls! Now!"

When the trumpets rang, the gates of Erebor opened up and a brigade led by Thorin and Dwalin poured out with urgency unmatched. Eilin staggered to the gates supported by Íth barely able to utter anything else apart from the names of her sons.

* * *

Durin stood in front of Mirkwood forest that stopped abruptly in the presence of the Bald Hill. Thrárin reached up to clasp his brother's hand and that drew Durin's eyes away from those ancient ruins.

"Can we go now?" Thrárin's voice had a plead that Durin didn't make out.

He clasped Thrárin's small fingers and smiled. "Not yet. We just arrived."

Thrárin looked worried at the ruined castle. "I don't like it here."

Durin's eyes were apprehensive. "Me neither."

"Where are we?" Thrárin asked and leaned his head on Durin's forearm.

Durin looked down at his brother and a rare spark of protectiveness awoke in his heart. He released Thrárin's hand and wrapped his arm around his shoulder, drawing him near. "The Hill of Dark Sorcery."

"Is this were the Elves don't want us to go?" Thrárin's huge azure eyes looked fearfully at the hill that seemed to be so disconnected from the rest of the forest or maybe from the rest of the world.

Durin nodded silently.

"Why are we here?" Thrárin asked and coiled his wiry arms around Durin's waist.

"For a challenge..." Durin's eyes thinned.

"What is a challenge?" Thrárin frowned and looked adoringly up at Durin's face.

Durin pressed his shoulder firmly. "Remember what I told you back at the stables? I have to prove myself to dad."

Thrárin's brows furrowed. "I don't get it."

Durin caressed his long red locks and smiled. "You are too young yet."

Thrárin leaned his head on Durin's side and closed his eyes. "Daddy loves us."

Durin's smile faded away and his young heart skipped a beat. His eyes pooled with unbidden tears. "I know..."

"Are you mad at him?" Thrárin asked without opening his eyes. He didn't want to look at that ruined castle.

Durin found himself shaking his head in negation. "No..."

"Is he mad at you?" Thrárin continued.

"After what I did today, I bet he will be." Durin's shoulders collapsed at the realization that he may have challenged his father's tolerance a little too much this time.

"Can we go now please?" Thrárin repeated with the same beseeching tone. His eyes were full of ever growing dread.

Durin looked at him thoughtfully for several moments. "I want you to stay here and wait for me. Okay?"

Thrárin frowned. "Where are you going?"

"I need to find a way to go through this broken bridge." Durin wandered off and he was so devoted in his mission that he left behind a trembling Thrárin and didn't even notice.

"I am scared, don't leave me!" Thrárin said and tried to follow his brother.

Durin raised his hand. "I know you are just a baby, but you are the son of the mighty Oakenshield and brother of Durin the Deathless. Fear doesn't run in our blood!" He said in a strong voice that halted Thrárin's advance.

The poor baby stood there shaking while his brother walked around inspecting the area and searching thoroughly. Nothing could have stopped Durin from finding a way to the other side and proving his bravery to his father or so it seemed because as Durin rounded the edge of the broken bridge something concealed and unforeseen managed to stop him against all odds. He lingered at the edge of that broken bridge exactly where his father had stood ten years earlier ready to take the final leap to his death. Durin had no way of knowing what happened back then, because both Thorin and Eilin made sure they never told that grim story to any of their children. Whatever it was that stopped the Prince from continuing on his quest was monumental and it came from within. Silence befell as Durin's eyes obsessed over that broken bridge for what felt like an eternity and his baby brother didn't dare intrude his thoughts. That was not the case for the newcomer who had been observing them in silence though.

"What the hell are you bastards doing here?" An impressively deep voice rumbled.

Durin turned around sharply and drew the dagger his father had gifted him with two years earlier.

Thrárin jerked back sharply and froze with eyes full of horror.

A rather disheveled looking Dwarf stood at the borders of Mirkwood looking at them. His body was bend and he was leaning upon a broken cane carved roughly out of a tree bark. His barely had enough clothes on to keep himself warm against the humidity of the mountains that didn't relent even during the summer months. His skin looked sick and full of scratches and bruises and his beard was lice ridden and frizzled. He was half bald, but the remaining hair on the back of his head were mostly grey with a few orange streaks between them. His grey beard was resting on the middle of his chest devoid of any braids. His eyes glimmered under the fading sun and his toothless mouth curled up in a grin that made Thrárin's eyes fly wide open.

Durin came in front of Thrárin and raised his dagger. "Keep away from my brother old man!" His warrior spirit didn't fail him even though his heart was throbbing.

The old haggard looking Dwarf leaned both hands on his cane. "Or you'll do what, you little piece of shit..." He provoked.

Durin felt blood mounting his cheeks. "If you harm my brother you die!"

The Dwarf raised his thick white brow and gazed at the Prince with eyes that seemed to have too much clarity for his cadaverous state. "You brought him in this god forsaken place. It wouldn't be my fault if harm befell both of you..." The man retorted undisturbed.

"How did you know that I brought him here?" Durin's eyes filled with doubt.

The Dwarf raised his brows, but remained quiet.

Durin's jawline flexed. "Have you been following us around?!"

The Dwarf's face stayed unreadable. "You made so much noise my ears bled. Haven't your parents taught you to tread more carefully when there is danger?"

Durin felt his back stiffening. "Don't you dare talk about my parents?!"

The Dwarf stared at him for several moments before sneering. "Oh, we have a protective one in our midst I think." He took a step forward, which was cut short by Durin's cry.

"Stay where you are or I am going to kill you, I swear!" His dagger wielding hand was shaking.

The Dwarf stopped and observed him closely before speaking again. "How are you going to do that lad?"

The change on that man's tone gave pause to Durin. "I have a dagger..." He said with childish innocence.

The Dwarf waved him away and turned around to pick up his torn satchel. "You are too young to mess with someone as old as me, but you are lucky because I am not after your blood. Had I been, you and that little rascal would have been dead by now..."

Durin laid a protective hand and shielded his baby brother. "I said stay away..." He warned again and his eyes looked fearlessly at the man.

"I don't intend to do anything to you, you stupid troll's armpit. Take your brother and get the hell out of here before it's too late for both of you." The Dwarf's heavy regard fell on the Bald Hill and a shadow of fear rippled through it.

Durin looked above his shoulder. "I am not leaving yet. I have a mission."

"Yeah, yeah to get yourself killed. Get out of here before I make you..." The Dwarf shooed him away and emptied himself in front of a tree bark. He opened up his satchel and began rummaging through it with many grunts of frustration.

Thrárin peeped from Durin's side and looked at the bag. "What's your name mister?" He asked fearfully.

The Dwarf stopped his search and looked up. "I have no name."

Durin drew back and lowered his dagger. "Everyone has a name." He rebuked.

The Dwarf pinned him down with a ferocious glare. "Not me. I dishonored my name therefore I cannot carry it proudly anymore. I am nameless."

Thrárin walked and came next to Durin. He lifted his hand and waved nervously. "Hi mister, my name is Thrárin.»

Durin glared at his brother. "Don't tell him your name!"

The Dwarf smirked. "Why? You fear I will steal your power by using some kind of ancient dark magic upon your names? I cannot do such magic, but the place behind you can..."

A wave of fear rippled through Durin's eyes. He turned at Dol Guldur that loomed tall and desolate above them. A shudder ran down his back. "Is it full of magic then?" He whispered.

The Dwarf looked at him unemotionally and continued in his quest to dig up something edible from his empty satchel. "Dark magic, far beyond the abilities of a Dwarf to challenge. Well, apart from one who never feared that challenge..."

Durin's brows creased. "Whom?"

"Thorin the second otherwise known as Oakenshield or else King of The North. He challenged the darkness of this place once. A story to be told over good mead and warm meat, which I apparently don't have." The Dwarf grumbled and threw his satchel away in discontent.

"That's our daddy!" Thrárin beamed upon hearing the name of his father.

Durin was torn between chastising his brother for giving such details and hearing this shocking piece of news from the most improbable person. The first need prevailed. "I said shut up. Don't tell him who we are for Mahal's sake!"

That gave the haggard looking Dwarf a long pause and his eyes gained a quality that Durin didn't see before but he couldn't read too well. "You are the King's sons?"

Durin swallowed heavily and shielded Thrárin again. "What's it to you?"

The Dwarf gazed at them from head to toe. "You didn't take anything from the Queen." -He said to Durin, but then his eyes turned to Thrárin and blazed- "Yet you have taken after your mother's hair if not eyes." His voice got deeper upon those words somehow.

Durin's lips twisted nervously. "Have you being spying on our family?"

The Dwarf lingered for a few moments amused and then chuckled. "It's not as if your family is easy to hide young man. You are the rulers of our kin. I have seen both the King and the Queen in Erebor."

Durin relaxed if only fractionally. "You belong to our Kingdom?"

"Doesn't every Dwarf in Middle Earth belong to the Dwarven alliance now?" The man replied shrewdly.

Durin's azure eyes looked at him searchingly. "I mean do you live there?"

The Dwarf looked down at his destroyed clothes and licked his chaffed lips. "Do I look like a live in the golden city?"

Durin hesitated, but finally shook his head. "I guess not."

The Dwarf flicked his shoulders. "I come and go. I have no home. I live on the road, roughly. I suppose one could call me a petty Dwarf." His eyes glistened in sadistic pleasure at scaring the two boys. This time though it didn't work so well.

Thrárin took a step forth, but Durin stopped him. "You hungry mister?"

The Dwarf looked up sharply. "Famished..."

Durin's lips curled down in distrust. "Why can't you hunt for your food?"

The Dwarf raised his brows and pointed around him. "The Elves have rules against hunting in their forest and the King of the North about hunting in his. Where am I going to get my food from since I am not allowed to raise my bow?" He retorted and only then did Durin notice an old looking bow with a golden gilded body. It looked so expensive that it came in direct contrast to this man's worn out clothes and dirty looks.

Durin pointed at the bow. "Did you steal that?"

The Dwarf sneered. "I didn't, but if I had would you have been brave enough to retrieve it at the cost of your life?"

Durin hesitated.

The Dwarf tilted his head. "Didn't think so."

"Petty Dwarf you said...my father doesn't allow your kind in our forest. If he finds out you are here he will arrest you." Durin rebuked.

"I am not going to stay long here. I am just passing by and I mean no harm boy." The man said and took out a rather long knife. He picked up a round stone from his satchel and began grinding it upon it.

Thrárin took another step closer and Durin followed and shielded him again. "Don't get closer to him...!"

The Dwarf harked. "If the fact that you are still alive hasn't convinced you that I am not out to kill you I don't know what will. Now get the hell out of here."

Thrárin munched his bottom lip, much like his mother always did when she felt uncertain or uneasy. "I can bring you some food mister."

Durin frowned down at his brother. "Are you mental? If dad finds out what we did here tonight he is going to hang us from the bell tower by our tongues and you want to repeat it?"

Thrárin looked with wide eyes at the man. "The mister is hungry and mom says we must always help the ones who need us."

Durin pointed at the man who was now silent. "He doesn't need us! He is going to leave soon." -He turned at the man- "Right?"

The man nodded quietly, but his gaze was penetrating on the youngest boy. He didn't reply.

Durin looked around just realizing that they had lost their pony during this venture. "Where the hell did Eogan go?" He whispered.

The Dwarf pointed at Mirkwood. "Is that your pony? He went in there. I suppose you have to go find him, don't you?"

Durin swallowed heavily and looked at the darkness that was slowly overtaking the forest in mild disconcert. "Of course we will go. Do you think I am scared?"

The Dwarf weighed him with his eyes for several moment. "How can Durin the Deathless be scared? That's contradictory as hell."

Durin remained silent.

The Dwarf waved them off. "Take your brother and leave. The trumpets had been sounding nonstop. They are out looking for you. Don't worry your parents more."

That geared up Durin who grasped Thrárin's hand and drew him towards the borders of Mirkwood. "Come on we have to leave."

Thrárin halted close the Dwarf and forced Durin to stop with him. "What can I call you mister?"

The Dwarf frowned. "Told you, I have no name boy..."

Durin pursed his lips and frowned down at both of them. "We will name him Nameless for now Thrárin. Now say goodbye and come with me."

Thrárin grinned. "Bye mister Nameless."

Nameless raised his brow and didn't answer.

As Durin dragged his brother in the darkness of Mirkwood the little boy looked above his shoulder. "I will bring you some porridge mister Nameless. Daddy makes nice porridge."

Durin pulled him sharply and Thrárin almost toppled over. "Don't give any more details about our family! We told him enough. Now come on!"

Thrárin looked back at the fading shadow of the man and he opened his mouth to reply, but Durin didn't let him.

"I don't want to hear another word about feeding the homeless. This man chose to reside outside Erebor. He could ask for a home and a job. Dad would have never denied." -Durin said and his eyes darted around anxiously for their pony- "Where the hell did it go?" He barely had enough time to form that thought in his mind though because he heard a thumb, felt a sharp pain in his forehead and fell on the forest floor like a rag doll. The last thing he remembered seeing was Thrárin's fur boots rushing to him and they were accompanied by another much larger pair behind his baby brother. He tried to open his mouth to warn him, but failed as darkness overtook him in its totality.

* * *

It was much later that Durin managed to open his eyes again. Thrárin was lingering above him with a huge smile. "You are okay!" He yelled.

Durin felt a stinging pain on the right side of his forehead and his eyesight was blurry, but his mouth was working alright. "What happened to me?" He mumbled and pushed away the hands that were messing around his forehead.

Thrárin clapped and pointed at the tree. "Branch fell on you!"

Durin's eyes fixed on Thrárin's hands for a few moments and then he cried and pushed himself away from the extra pair of hands. "Get away, get away, get away!" He yelled and tried to find his dagger.

"Are you looking for this?" the voice spoke and Durin didn't recognize its hue. A young man was resting on his shins, offering him his dagger.

Durin snatched it greedily from the man. Then he sat up and wiped away the blood that was cascading down his eyes. "Who are you?" His eyes focused on the man who had a bow mounted across his chest and a rather long sword resting on his hip. His brow was clear and his eyes clever and kind. Their pony was tied behind his horse.

The young man smiled and offered him a clean cloth. "Press it on your wound to stop the bleeding. My name is Elessar."

Durin frowned and groaned in pain. "You are not an elf."

Elessar shook his head. "No, I am a Ranger of the Dunedain. I am visiting with the Elves of Mirkwood. I belong to Lord Elrond's escort."

Durin closed his eyes in relief and pressed his wound. He nodded. "Thank Mahal. We are going to be okay…" He murmured feeling rather shaken.

"Who are you?" Elessar asked with a smile.

Durin cringed in pain. "I am Durin and this is my brother Thrárin."

Elessar tilted his head and remained silent for several moments. "What are the sons of the King of the North doing so far away from home then?"

Durin closed his eyes and his shoulders sagged. He felt very dizzy, in pain, worried about his baby brother, scared of that man they met in the woods before and even more terrified of what his dad was going to do to him when they returned to Erebor. "That's a long story..."

Elessar offered his hand to Durin. "I have time to listen to it while I escort you back to your father. Erebor has raised an alarm for you two. Both your kin and mine are out combing Mirkwood to find you."

Durin took the offer, but instantly wavered on his feet. "He is going to kill me when we go back." He murmured defeated.

Elessar steadied him and then led him to the pony with a knowing smile. "Nevertheless to him I shall take you. Now will you be able to ride?"

Durin nodded and allowed this young man to help him on the pony. "Thank you for finding Eogan for us." He said as the man picked up Thrárin and placed him in front of Durin.

Elessar gave a shadowy look towards the fading outline of Dol Guldur. "You shouldn't have ventured so far into the woods. This is a dangerous place you found yourself in."

Thrárin looked down at the man. "There was a petty Dwarf there!" -He pointed behind them- "He told us to go away and then disappeared."

Durin winced in agony and leaned his throbbing head on his brother's shoulder.

Elessar allowed them to get in front of him and then looked above his shoulder. "There are many shady characters in this part of the forest. I suggest you both keep away from now on."

Durin pressed his lips and tightened his arms around his brother, more in need to make sure he was not hurt than to keep him silent. "Thank you for helping us." He slurred.

Elessar looked at them and smiled kindly. "You both need to rest and you master Durin need some medical attention. Press the cloth on your wound."

Durin did as he was told and for the first time since his argument with his dad he felt happy that someone else had taken charge of the situation. Maybe he was indeed too young to risk his life and the life of his baby brother in this manner. Maybe his dad had been right, but above all maybe his mom knew what she was doing when she was diminishing in front of strangers. Not only hadn't he managed to prove himself to his parents, he almost killed himself and his brother in the process. He pressed the cloth firmly and hid his head on Thrárin 's nape, trying to stop the tears from coming, but that was impossible. The guarantee that Thrárin was now safe was enough to choke him.

* * *

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	5. The same mistakes

Durin eyelids felt weighty and the effort to open them was only too tangible, but the comforting voice of his mother related to him everything that was needed to be told. He was back home even though he couldn't call to mind anything after this Ranger helped him on the pony. On that memory his eyes cracked open with difficulty and his face twisted in an agonizing grimace.

"Thrárin ?" He whispered and felt the pain on his forehead throbbing hot.

Eilin's hand cupped his cheek and her head bumped gently on his temple. "Hi baby..." She cooed.

Durin closed his eyes and gulped. "Is my brother alright?" That was the only thought that was prevalent in his confused mind.

Eilin kissed his head and smoothed the bloody hair away from his eyes. "He is well my darling, don't worry."

Durin forced his eyes to open again and looked around at the ever present consoling face of his mother. "Where is he?" -He muttered- "He was in front of me on the pony. I was holding him...I don't remember anything after that."

"He is being bathed by Dis. You fainted..." Eilin said and grasped his cold hand, pressing it tightly, wanting to believe her first born was alright. That the only wound on him was the nasty diagonal gash on his forehead that resembled Thorin's from the Battle of the Five Armies.

Durin's eyes watered and became dim. "I am so sorry mom..." He tried to sound composed, but the sob that followed those words told the truth. He was powerless to get a hold of his emotions now that Thrárin was out of harm's way. Now that he knew that he hadn't caused the death of his baby brother he was willing to look as pitiful as his mother assumed he was and he didn't care.

Eilin drew him upon her bosom lovingly and pampered his face with dozens of butterfly kisses and soft words of endearment. "Hush my darling. We are just happy that you are both alive. I don't care about anything else. Only that you are both here with us, alive and well."

Durin's arms wrapped behind his mother's back and he squeezed her tightly. "I am sorry mommy. I am sorry for everything I did today. I wasn't thinking clearly. I almost killed him...please forgive me. I was so pissed off with you and then I got angry at dad and then I decided to get a pony and go for a ride and Thrárin was just there following me around...and I don't know what I was thinking. I am sorry..." He mumbled and hid his face on his mom's bosom. When he felt her arms pressing him he released a flurry of sobs that would have rattled even the most battle hardened warrior.

Which was exactly what Durin's collapse did to the hardest of them all. Thorin crossed his arms and leaned back to the wall witnessing his son crying hard in his mom's arms for several quiet moments, before his own eyes overflowed with tears which he didn't try to hide. He cupped his mouth and tried to control his emotions from running amok while Eilin comforted their oldest son. It was the wiry arms of Rhianaye which enfolded around his stomach that drew his attention away from his broken boy. He looked down at his daughter who leaned her head on his stomach. Her small fingers caressed his back and then her fists grabbed his tunic almost greedily. "He is going to be okay daddy." Her words were meant as an assurance to her ever collected father who looked so wrecked right now.

Thorin's heavy arms fell around her shoulders and he leaned down to secure a kiss on the top of her head without a word.

Rhianaye's next words though proved that notwithstanding the fact that she tried to become a column of support for her father she was in need of his reassurance also. "Isn't he?" She purred.

Thorin's arms tightened up around her. "Of course he is." He whispered and kept his lips on the top of her hair, trying to quieten down his aching heart.

Rhianaye got buried in her father's arms and closed her eyes, but the sharp pain on her forehead returned and she rubbed it with a hiss. "Ow!" She shouted.

Thorin looked down at her and so did Eilin and Durin. "Is it still hurting you?" Thorin's large palm stroked the raw spot for her.

Rhianaye nodded. "Yes, daddy."

Durin grimaced and touched his wound.

Rhianaye turned to him and lifted her shoulders. "It's twin thing, right Durin?" She asked him and her eyes filled up with tears.

Durin's bloodshot eyes turned to his little sister. "It is birdie. I'm sorry for hurting you."

Rhianaye released her dad and hastened to give Durin a strong hug, which her brother reciprocated with impatience.

It took Durin a long time to empty all the fear he had gathered in his heart for the safety of his baby brother during this perilous endeavor. When his body was so exhausted it could only produce mere sniffles another thought came crashing in his mind making him tense up instantly. "Dad is going to kill me..." His voice came muffled from Rhianaye's shoulder.

Eilin exhaled and her eyes fell shut. "No, he is not my love."

Durin shook his head in denial. "He is going to kill me mom..." he repeated.

Eilin gave his temple kisses of immeasurable love and turned to Thorin with a smile of understanding. "Ask him yourself my baby..." She told her son.

Durin knew that his father had been observing them like a ghost all this time. The young Prince didn't know what to think about that stillness...so pushing himself away from his sister and forcing himself to meet his father's eyes took a lot of courage. Thorin's eyes were unreadable and his face impassive. Durin felt his throat drying out. "Dad..." he uttered.

Thorin felt his eyes fluttering closed and he breathed in deeply. Then he looked at his wife. "Can you give us a few moments?"

Eilin nodded and pushed herself up. She disentangled Rhianaye from Durin. "Come on honey. Your brother is well. Let's go change you in your nightie and when daddy is finished with Durin you can come sit with him, okay?"

Rhianaye gave an anxious look to her father and then one to her brother. "Okay, mommy…"

Neither looked back at her.

Eilin's soft fingers skimmed above Thorin's hand for a brief moment and he shuddered at the gentle touch. She looked up at him with her beautiful imploring eyes. "Be gentle, I beg you..."

He swallowed a very dry throat and gave her a soft nod.

Rhianaye stippled her fingers through her mom's and followed her to the other room while Eilin closed the door behind her.

Durin's heart was pounding so hard it was ready to jump out of his chest, but he was unwilling to pull his eyes away from his father. "Dad?" The entreaty in Durin's voice resounded deep in Thorin's heart.

The King walked to the bed and sat down at the place Eilin had been occupying before. His beautiful azure eyes lifted up full of sorrow and engaged his son's identical gaze. With no need for words, he felt his eyes burning with unshed tears and his hand came out to hold his son's cheek. He had to force down the grunt of suffering that threatened to break free.

When Durin felt that touch of affection he was powerless to hold himself. He grabbed Thorin's free hand and pulled it on his chest snugly. "Daddy I am so sorry! Forgive me please..." he pleaded.

Thorin released his hand and drew him in a hug that was so powerful, it took Durin's breath away.

"Forgive me daddy...forgive me for putting Thrárin in danger...please forgive me..." His crying was so hard it was causing his small body to quiver.

Thorin cradled his boy close to his heart allowing him to empty the second round of fear from his youthful heart. He didn't speak soft words of comfort to Durin's ear, but the steadiness of his strong arms and his sheltered embrace which felt so safe and all-encompassing were enough to calm down Durin's heart more than any words would have done. The soothing effect that Thorin's overpowering presence had on his son was beyond words. It was long after Durin's crying faded away that Thorin finally pulled back in order to give a gentle kiss on each red and burning cheek. "You scared the life out of me..." He spoke in a hushed tone.

Durin wiped away the tears from his eyes and felt his nose stuffy. "Are you going to kill me?" he stammered.

Thorin pulled back and sighed deeply. Then he cleared the sweaty hair away from Durin's forehead and checked on his wound with an acute eye. "Of course I am going to kill you after I nurse you back to health." He pouted at the large scar on Durin's forehead which had become twice the size and was slowly turning deep purple. He picked up the cloth that was floating inside a basin. Then he held his son's head in the crook of his arm and began cleaning around the wound carefully. "What the hell took over you...I don't understand..." He murmured deeply concentrated on not causing his son any more pain.

Durin's eyes were searching. "I wanted to prove myself to you."

Thorin's hand froze and his eyes burrowed in Durin's. "I thought this had to do with your mother diminishing you in front of Durar's niece."

Durin didn't speak.

"So this endeavor was an exhibition of valor both for your mother and for me?" Thorin's brows rose slowly.

Durin pressed his lips. "I suppose so."

Thorin sulked. "You wanted to prove yourself old enough to your mom so she could stop belittling you in front of strangers. Maybe I can understand that, but why to me...I thought I did a good job at the mouth of the waterfall...Didn't I allow you to prove yourself to me…no to the whole Kingdom back then?"

Durin gazed at his hands in distress, but kept on being quiet.

"Do you intend to continue this deadly game of proving yourself while I and your poor mom count the days to your inevitable death?" Thorin's eyes filled with sadness.

Durin sniffled and shook his head.

Thorin gripped his hand. "Because if you do, I don't think my heart has enough fortitude to see you to adulthood...This will kill me long before you come to your own."

Durin's head shook fiercely and his eyes filled with fear. "I will never let you come to harm daddy!"

Thorin's brows creased. "And I should?"

Durin gazed at him with dedication.

"Was it wise for you to endanger your life and the life of your little brother just to make a point?" Thorin persisted evenly.

Durin shook his head. "No, daddy."

Thorin swallowed heavily. "Next time talk to your mom, talk to me. Talk to your sister. The mind has a way of creating huge monsters our of mere ghosts. If you talk about them they became easier to accept. Easier for all of us..."

Durin looked uncertain as he muttered. "Have you seen such monsters?"

"Seen them, they almost broke me, but I tackled them by talking to your mom." Thorin's face brightened.

Durin smiled.

Thorin caressed his hand softly. "She has an almost magical way of dispersing my monsters..."

Durin's smiled brightened. "And mine!"

Thorin's lips curled up. "I know. Do we have a deal? Talk first, act later?"

Durin lowered his eyes ashamed. "Yes! I will talk about my monsters daddy. I am sorry for trying to impress you."

That halted Thorin whose eyes darkened. "You almost killed yourself because you wanted to impress me?" Even the words felt too heavy to utter.

Durin nodded feeling miserable.

"When did I make such a serious mistake with you, tell me...please. Tell me and I will fix it..." Thorin's bearing crumbled.

Durin kept his crestfallen gaze away from Thorin. "I cannot fill your boots dad..."

Thorin's expression dithered. "Is this what you think I expect from you?"

Durin looked away. "You are always talking about my legacy, my reincarnation, what people expect from me. What I will be able to give them and on top of all that I have to keep up with what you have already done. You are a legend of your own rights, dad."

Thorin felt his heart clenching in agony. "I haven't done right by you. It's not your mom. It's me. I made all the mistakes."

"No dad… " -He reached out and buried his hand under Thorin's huge palm.

Thorin's eyes welled and he secured Durin's hands under his. "You don't have to prove yourself to me my boy. Forgive me for ever putting such a burden on you even though I never meant to. My words about your heritage were instigated by the pride I always feel for you. I love you more than life and I don't ever want to see you hurt. I don't want to be the one to wound you. I want you to smile and enjoy life... I want you to be happy and follow your dreams, not try to fulfill mine. Trying to cater other people's expectations will take your life away. For me you are not Durin the Deathless."

Durin frowned and looked bewitched at his dad.

Thorin's smile was full of bitterness towards himself for failing his son in this manner. "You are still my little Farin and I will do everything I can to show you how unconditional my love for you is. You are not here to please me or your mom. You are here to live your life as you see fit and follow your dreams."

Nothing could have torn Durin's eyes from his father at that moment.

"Alright?" Thorin enfolded him close to his heart.

Durin smiled and closed his eyes as Thorin's strong heartbeat had an almost mystical effect on soothing Durin ever since he was a baby." I guess your mom was right?"

Durin remained silent and aligned his breathing to his father's.

"Haven't I been foolhardy when I was a dwarfling perchance?" Thorin spoke to himself mostly at that moment.

Durin looked up to him with a blazing veneration his azure eyes couldn't hide. "You have so many times! I know all the stories!"

Thorin gazed at him adoringly and caressed his hair. "I gave my father a very hard time. I expected you to be wiser, nevertheless my blood runs through your veins..."

Durin sulked. "And mine in yours."

Thorin sighed and leaned his cheek on his son's forehead. "And yours in mine. I resemble my father too much and I must change that. I don't want to lose you...I don't want to make the same mistakes he did…"

Durin remained silently thoughtful in Thorin's arms for several moments without truly understanding what his father was saying about his past. "Why haven't you told me that you had been to Dol Guldur?"

Thorin's fingers tunneled through his son's hair gently. "Who told you that? Mom?"

Durin shook his head. "Some soldiers were discussing it at the barracks one day." He said not wanting to reveal to his father their meeting with that weird Dwarf in front of the Bald Hill.

Thorin nodded and stroked Durin's head dreamily.

"I thought you hadn't been there. Why didn't you tell me?" Durin snuggled even deeper in Thorin's arms.

Thorin's brows clouded and he looked at the black wavy hair of his son. "Is this why you went there?"

Durin hesitated in front of his father's uncanny ability to fathom his most inner thoughts with just a few words.

Thorin felt Durin's reluctance and persisted cautiously. "Why did you choose to go to the Hill of Black Sorcery?"

Durin found it difficult to form the words. "It was something I thought you have never done before. The dive from the waterfalls...you have already done it, but Dol Guldur…."

Thorin sealed him from the world seemingly with his arms and kissed his temple. "You didn't want to follow my footsteps for once..." He whispered.

Durin nodded wordlessly.

Thorin drew in a deep breath and stilled. "You know what is funny?" He spoke in a hushed tone not wanting to disturb the sense of serenity that enwrapped both of them at that moment.

Durin shook his head.

"I went to Dol Guldur because of my father too..." Thorin whispered.

Durin looked up at him questioningly.

Thorin's lips curled in a lopsided smile. "And because of your mom."

"Mom?" Durin's black arched eyebrows wavered.

Thorin tilted his head. "A silly endeavor, much like your own. We don't get to challenge places of such dark magic and come out unharmed easily. We were both solely lucky my boy."

Durin pulled away and looked at him with newborn enthusiasm in his eyes. "Did you pass through the veil? Did you see Orcs? Did you kill them?!"

His zeal didn't leave Thorin unaffected. "I did all of those things, yes."

Durin's eyes grew wide in wonder. "Was it scary?"

Thorin's lips formed a peaceful smile. "Very."

"Did you kill everybody?" Durin's voice become more and more passionate with each answer from his father.

"Well, I had some help in doing so, but I think we cleared up the place pretty well." Thorin's eyes were genially amused.

Durin clapped his hands. "Who helped you...wait!"

Thorin raised both brows in anticipation.

"I know, the elves!" Durin smiled, but his eyes were curious.

Thorin pointed at him. "Got it."

Durin shoulders sagged. "I was kind of hoping it would have been uncle Dwalin..."

Thorin reached out and took some bandage to place on his son's forehead. "You admire him?"

Durin looked up sheepishly. "Not more than you."

That stayed Thorin's hand and heart. "Thank you my boy."

Durin's smile turned to a huge grin. "It was kind of stupid of me to think that you wouldn't have challenged Dol Guldur."

Thorin cleaned the wound well and then dressed it with gentleness. "Well you may have failed in this mission, but there are other places I haven't challenged and are free for a trial."

Durin's eyes twinkled. "Which ones..."

Thorin tilted his head. "Your old kingdom my boy...your old kingdom..." He said with a soft smile.

Durin lips curled up. "My dwarrowdelf..."

Thorin gave him a curt nod. "Train hard, live happily, laugh, sing, rejoice, play...play and play some more. Study, learn a trade and when you come to your own you will take on the biggest challenge of them all. You will take your own path, not step on the paths that others have paved."

Durin looked fascinated at his father. "That is what I want to do."

Thorin cupped both his cheeks and shook him gently. "Then so you shall...when the time comes."

Durin beamed. "When the time comes…" He repeated hypnotized.

"Till then no more daring excursions in Mirkwood without my presence and no more exposing your baby brother nor your sister to danger. Okay?"

Durin pushed Thorin's hands away and grabbed him in a tight hug that made Thorin smile and all his worries to dissolve. "Alright daddy." He muttered and for one single moment Thorin felt little Farin was back in the stead of the mighty Durin and his heart rejoiced. He rocked his son for a long time, not caring about the numbness of his arms or the needles that were prickling his elbows. He felt the body of Durin slowly relaxing and becoming heavier and he kept him close to his heart uncomplainingly until Eilin opened the door and tiptoed in.

"Is he asleep?" She whispered.

Thorin looked down and his wide palm cupped the side of Durin's face protectively. He gave her a soft nod. "Yes. Rhianaye and Thrárin ?"

Eilin rubbed her forehead unable to hide her fatigue. "Both are asleep in our bed. Do you mind?"

Thorin offered her an equally tired look and shook his head. "No, I will sleep at the recliner."

Eilin's hand landed on his shoulder and pressed it. "It's my turn today."

His head shook imperceptibly. "No Eilin, I have a lot of work to do in the office tonight and I cannot sleep yet. Go to bed with the kids and I will find my way into some kind of bed when I finish." He rejoined and laid the snoring Durin down.

Eilin gave him a long unhappy look. "Are you still sour with me?"

His fingers combed through his son's hair and he gave her a fleeting smile. "Not more than you are..."

Eilin sat down next to him and clasped his hand, pulling it away from Durin. She kept it securely between hers. "Did you yell at him?"

Thorin's azure eyes filled with unspeakable grief. "I asked for his forgiveness."

Eilin's brows wavered in confusion. "Why?"

"For placing such an impossible burden on his shoulders..."

"What burden?" She whispered and her fingers traced the thick veins on the back of his hand she loved so much. The ones that betrayed that these cherished hands belonged to a man who has worked hard all his life.

He closed his eyes. "He is trying to walk in my footsteps Eilin. How heavy can that be for such a young boy?"

Eilin's lips curled down and her eyes filled with unspoken shadows.

"You were right. I am too much like my father and I must change before I destroy our children." Thorin's voice became thick with emotion.

She remained silent, even though deep inside she understood the guilt that was slashing through Thorin's soul. "We are not Gods, we make mistakes. All of us, not just you..." her attempt to soothe him was quickly negated.

He averted his eyes. "All I care about now is that our boys came back to us unharmed." He used the same words she had used this noon to avoid his approach.

Eilin looked at their joined hands and felt him uncomfortably still. "That's all I care about too. Everything else can be solved, trust me. We can solve everything else no matter how hard it may seem. Durin adores you. All our children adore and admire you."

His fingers gave her a small squeeze that was half-felt. "That doesn't excuse my failures."

Eilin raised her eyes to his pale face. "Don't do this to yourself tonight, please. When you rest tomorrow you will see things differently. This has been a long day for all of us."

Thorin's lips curled down and his eyes remained shut. "This has been a long decade..."

Eilin felt her heart clenching. "You are tired..." She whispered.

This time his eyes did open and they were partially hidden behind a dark veil that she didn't like at all. "We both are ..."

She didn't want to nod, but her head decided for her. Her fingers caressed the scars on his palms. It took her heart several moments to swallow these words and even more for her mouth to voice her thoughts. "Maybe you should forget work for tonight. We can move the kids to their beds, sit by the fire and share a cup of mead." She attempted to sound alluring, but she was sure it came out worried and uncertain. Exactly when did she begin worrying about making such a simple suggestion of intimacy to him? Had their arguments become too intense? Maybe they were taking place too often? Where they taking more of a toll on them than she had been noticing? Was he even aware that she felt a slight detachment between them even though they were holding each other's hands tightly?

He shook his head gently and lifted up her hand. His lips skimmed her skin and he planted a tender kiss on it. "I need to go my Eilin."

She tightened her fingers around his wrist. "Thorin...I'd like you to stay. Please."

She saw his Adam's apple bob nervously and she searched his eyes for something heartfelt and familiar that would ease her concerns. His mouth opened with the intention of saying something and then closed, making Eilin's heart twitch regretfully. Then he pulled his hand gently away from hers making her heart flare up with a sudden anxiety that she couldn't quite label. "I have to take a break tonight. Allow me, I beg you." His brow clouded, but his hand came up to cup her cheek.

Feeling this small touch of love from him was enough to quiet down Eilin's heart, if only for a moment and she turned to kiss his disfigured palm. "Go..." She indicated towards the door with her head.

Instead of staying there and taking her in his arms he stood up and crossed the room. When his hand fell on the door knob, he remained immovable.

Eilin caressed Durin's forehead and then looked at her husband quietly.

Thorin threw her a glance above his shoulder. "I love you ..."

She felt her throat closing down. "I love you too..."-She whispered and he gifted her with a ghostly smile before closing the door behind him- "...more than life..." She murmured at the panel and felt her eyes welling at her inability to approach her husband tonight. Her heart longed to offer him comfort and love, but for some reason this time she had been unable to reach out to him. Maybe it was their fatigue, maybe their shared terror about their sons. Maybe their previous argument...or all the ones before that.

Eilin placed a warm kiss on Durin's forehead and the boy inhaled deeply and settled down again. "Everything is going to be okay baby." -She murmured and then looked at the door for several moments before nodding- "Everything is going to be okay." She repeated.

* * *

 

Thorin crossed the long Royal corridors and he was about to walk down the golden gilded staircase when a voice made him almost jump out of his skin, placing a full stop to his overshadowing thoughts.

"My Lord..." Íth was standing in front of him, bending the knee.

He felt as if someone just pulled him from the very depths of the ocean and he inhaled sharply. "Good...Good evening." He stammered feeling lost.

Íth smiled at him compassionately. "Did I catch you at an unfortunate moment?"

Thorin supported himself on the railing and brushed his forehead. "No...no... "

Íth allowed him a few moments to pull himself together and continued. "I didn't mean to scare you. I was coming up to inquire the Queen about the boys."

Thorin raised his weary eyes at her and it took him some time to answer. "It's not a good moment to bother my wife now. They are all resting, but everything is okay. Thank you for taking a personal interest in this."

Íth curtsied again dutifully. "My son has taken an interest to your son my King. Brunar wished to have news about his best friend."

Thorin's lips curled up in the first unforced smile of the day. "That's what he said?"

Íth's mouth reciprocated the smile. "Those were his exact words. My-best-friend."

Thorin huffed and pressed the spot between his eyebrows to alleviate the pain. "Then tell him that his friend is sleeping off a rather long day. Which is something we should be doing also."

Íth tilted her head. "That sounded regretful."

Thorin's brows fluttered. "This was a rough day for all of us."

Íth gazed at his eyes sympathetically. "How is the little Prince?"

Thorin's mouth curled up in a soft smile. "Tired and not as scared as I would have thought."

An interested smile formed on her lips. "He liked the adventure?"

Thorin looked at his palms. "He seemed proud that he managed to follow one of Durin's crazy endeavors. He told us not to worry and that he and Durin had a lot of fun in the forest. When I asked him if he got scared he said yes, but the bubbles in his stomach felt nice."

Íth cupped her mouth and laughed carelessly. "He just discovered the alluring side of fear?"

Thorin nodded thoughtfully. "Who would have believed my calm and shy boy would change so drastically at some point..."

Íth lingered for a few moments, allowing the King to take his time. "How about Lord Durin? I heard he received a rather nasty head wound."

Thorin looked up lost once more, trying to gather himself from the thoughts that quickly began scattering him the moment this woman stopped talking. "A branch fell on him. It is a minor wound. He is going to be okay, unless I kill him for what he did first." His voice turned half playful in that sentence.

Ith's face opened up happily. "It is so beautiful to witness once more the worry a father."

Thorin looked up at that.

Íth shrugged and gazed at Thorin's crossed hands. "My husband used to have the same love for our boy and he showed it with practically the same manner."

Thorin lowered his eyes and licked his bottom lip. When the silence across from him became too heavy he decided to raise his beautiful eyes to her. She was observing him closely. "Did he made such empty threats towards Brunar too?" He forced himself to make an attempt to sound at least partly civilized to his court.

Íth huffed. "Yes..."

Thorin's mouth formed a lopsided smile. "That's fatherhood for all of us...I suppose."

Ith's grey eyes observed at him penetratingly. "That sounded almost remorseful."

Thorin's brow shadowed. "No God forbid! Just merely tired."

It took Íth several moments to speak. "You do look in need of rest, Sir."

Thorin exhaled hard.

"Why don't you go and rest? Your rooms are this way..." She pointed towards the corridor.

Thorin crossed his arms and looked at his boots. "I have a lot of work to do. Cannot sleep now."

Íth raised her brow eloquently. "This posture speaks of defense."

Thorin looked up with a frown. "What?"

Íth indicated his body. "Your arms crossed like this. That means you are defensive. So you might not be telling me the truth or the truth makes you somehow feel on guard."

Thorin's brows creased and he felt uncertain what to answer.

Íth gazed him partially amused for several moments and then waved him off. "I am making you uncomfortable. Forgive me."

Thorin was silently thoughtful, but not for long. He uncrossed his arms and straightened his body.

Íth cupped her mouth and smiled. "Now you are trying to show that you are assertive. Dominating your environment. You are trying to make up for allowing me to see part of what you truly felt a few moments ago. Please, there is no need."

Thorin exhaled hard. "How do you know all this?"

Íth crossed her hands in front of her skirt and lowered her eyes. "I have studied body language, my Lord."

Thorin gazed at her firmly for a moment before raising his brow. "What does this posture say then?" He pointed towards her body.

She looked down at herself. "Awkwardness I think...which is justified since I am talking way too impudently with the King of the North."

Thorin smiled, feeling slightly entertained. "Awkwardness indeed. This is very fascinating."

Íth shrugged and gave him a nervous gaze. "Sometimes I can become a nuisance with my observations. My husband used to hate me when I did it to him."

Thorin's face animated. "I bet..."

Íth frowned and looked at her hands.

Thorin sighed, feeling slightly better than before. "He probably had you pestering him with body language all day long."

Ith's cheeks blushed. "I did do that, indeed."

Thorin observed her closely for a few moments and then averted his eyes too. "Well, thank you for inquiring about the health of my children and for giving me a lesson in body language..." He said and got ready to bid her goodnight, but she spoke over him.

"You are welcome, but I haven't truly done anything to help you."

Thorin inhaled deeply. "Help me with what?"

"You still look too tired to work and engrossed in your thoughts." She rejoined quietly.

Thorin's shoulders sagged and he sat on the railing again in no real mood to put up an act for her. "I guess I am."

"Will I sound too insolent to ask if all this has to do with what happened to the children?"Íth asked quietly, expecting him to scold her.

Something that surprisingly didn't happen. "Yes..." -he stopped and his eyes got lost in deep thought- "and no."

Ith's lips curled down. "Other fears worry your heart, my Lord and I might not be the best person to inquire about them."

Thorin looked up at her silently.

She averted her eyes and continued. "Nevertheless I can help those worries with a good brew..." She let the offer suspend between them.

Thorin's lips slacked and he found himself unable to find an intelligent answer to that.

Ith's mouth formed a clear smile. "Don't worry my Lord. I won't abduct you and it is not an offer I wouldn't have made to your Queen likewise, had I seen her lingering close to a breaking point."

Thorin smiled uncomfortably. "Of course not...I mean I know." He stammered.

"I will just make you my best brew, the one my uncle Durar loves and my son abhors. Besides all my friends say that I am a good listener."Íth rejoined with a soft voice.

Thorin's head tilted slightly and his eyes seared in hers for a few moments before he replied. "Even though the offer sounds tempting, I am afraid I have to decline my Lady."

Ith's lips twisted apologetically. "The brew didn't sound enticing my King…"

He frowned. "No, it did…"

Íth smiled kindheartedly. "Then maybe the company didn't."

Thorin tried to answer, but she spoke over him. "Maybe I can brew a kettle to bring to your rooms so you can share it with your family?"

This time Thorin's lips broke a smile and he looked towards his boots. He crossed his arms again. "No, let them rest and forgive me for offending you with my denial..."

Íth waved him off. "You are not offending me. It is perfectly understandable that after this misadventure you need some time to yourself. Please don't become defensive on me again." -She pointed at his arms which he quickly uncrossed- "I did nothing more than offer you some quiet company as you seem overwhelmed."

Thorin closed his eyes and sighed. "I am overwhelmed."

Íth stippled her fingers in front of her skirt again and lowered her eyes. "I can understand. Sometimes life becomes too much for all of us. Sleep on it, my Lord and tomorrow you shall feel better."

Thorin gazed at her thoughtfully for several moments and then smiled. "That's good advice."

She smiled. "The offer for a quiet friendly brew still stands and it includes your wife as well, my Lord."

Thorin felt his head tilting in gratitude. "Thank you. We might take you up on the offer one of these days."

Íth curtsied bashfully. "It will be an honor for me. Be sure to bring over Thrárin because my son will be mad at me if you don't."

Thorin pressed his lips with a lopsided smile. "Thank you for this."

Ith's brows wavered in confusion. "For what my Lord?"

Thorin hesitated. "For taking the time to make me feel better."

Ith's smile widened, but she remained quiet.

"And for offering a good brew and patient ears." Thorin continued.

She closed her eyes and bowed. "The least I can do for our King."

Thorin's eyes fell heavily on the top of her blonde hair and he kept quiet, engulfed in his thoughts. Even though there was nothing more that he wanted to tell her, he made no attempt to leave and neither did she. Only when they heard a pair of heavy footsteps climbing up the staircase did they lift their heads up. When Dwalin made his appearance both Thorin and Íth were looking at him.

He stopped and frowned in momentary confusion. "What?" He asked.

Thorin's lips curled down. "Nothing."

Ith suddenly found her hands interesting and didn't return Dwalin's stare.

"What are you doing here?" Dwalin asked after a long pause were he tried to calculate the dynamics of this sudden meeting.

"I was on my way to the office." Thorin pointed towards the staircase.

"I was on my way to check on the Royal twins."Íth pointed towards the corridors.

Dwalin opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again. "I don't see either of you being on their way actually..." He rejoined carefully.

"We bumped into each other, my Lord and I stopped to inquire about the wellbeing of the King's family." Ith's cheeks blushed deeply and she looked at her boots.

Dwalin inhaled and his frown became even more enhanced. "Okay then, I suppose..."

Thorin closed his eyes. "Okay." He repeated.

Íth nibbled her bottom lip. "Okay." She whispered.

After a long uncomfortable silence Dwalin crossed his arms. "Can someone tell me what the hell is going on here?"

Íth interrupted him quickly. "I need to go to my son, my Lords. Good evening."

Thorin gave her a curt nod. "Good evening."

Dwalin pursed his lips. "Good evening..." -He drawled as Íth bend the knee and walked calmly down the staircase. Then he turned to Thorin- "What the hell was that. Should I ask?"

Thorin shook his head. "Don't ask anything tonight Dwalin, just feel joyful my boys are alright."

Dwalin's countenance softened and he engaged Thorin's elbow. "You don't look good."

"Durar's niece told me the same thing." Thorin rejoined bluntly.

"Well she is right. Now come with me. I have good mead in my rooms." Dwalin rebuked and pulled him along.

Thorin shook his head. "I just denied my wife a drink and this lady a brew. I am not about to have one with you."

"I am neither your wife, nor Durar's niece." Dwalin said and opened his door.

Thorin threw him an annoyed look. "And that is supposed to sound tantalizing to me?"

Dwalin pushed him in and closed the door behind. "Of course!" He grumbled.

After a long time of almost quiet drinking, Dwalin found himself observing his best friend meticulously. The quiet companionship he was offering was deeply treasured by the King who after finishing his fourth cup drew his eyes away from the fireplace and glared at his friend. "I guess I needed a drink after all."

Dwalin gave him a thoughtful nod. "Feel better now?"

Thorin's eyes got lost in his mug. "I think so...yes."

Dwalin puffed up arrogantly. "Told you my company is better than Eilin's or Ith's..."

Thorin huffed and scratched his bearded chin. "I suppose so."

Dwalin leaned his elbows on his knees. "It is camaraderie you seek Thorin. Not the challenging presence of your wife or a typical interaction with Durar's niece."

Thorin inhaled deeply. "You are right about the second part, but not about the first. Tonight Eilin didn't seem inclined towards a quarrel. She asked me to stay with her just for a drink, like we always did in the past."

"That sounds wistful." Dwalin took a sip and his voice quietened.

Thorin observed the amber liquid inattentively. "It is. I used to play the harp for her after our long quiet talks. Sometimes she sang for me and she always fell asleep on the armchair listening to my music."

Dwalin looked at him disappointed. "You miss those days."

"Like mad..." There was no hesitation in Thorin's voice.

"So why didn't you stay with her?" Dwalin frowned.

"I guess deep now I didn't trust us not to get on each other's throat especially after what happened today. Also I didn't want to overburden her with my worries..."

"Family and children are slowly becoming too heavy for you?" Dwalin rejoined gently.

Thorin's azure eyes turned to him gloomily. "On both of us. We are both in over our heads and half the time we don't know what we are supposed to be doing with the children, which is creating cracks on our armor."

Dwalin leaned back and gave him a watchful nod. "No parent truly knows what they are doing, it's not just you. Think your parents knew?"

The hairpin at the side of Thorin's mouth curled. "Better than I did maybe?"

Dwalin humphed. "Much worse."

Thorin's smile was miserable. "That doesn't make me feel any better."

Dwalin raised his hand in austerity. "Dis didn't know, my father and mother didn't know, Loa doesn't know and above all Bombur doesn't know and he has seven kids! What is he waiting for in order to learn? To birth an army?"

Thorin's countenance was a mixture of bitterness and amusement. "I appreciate your effort Dwalin, but my inadequacies almost lost me my children today."

Dwalin leaned forth and grasped his forearm. "Durin and Thrárin are fine. They came out of this adventure with flying banners. Your sons proved their bravery beyond count today and all the Kingdom knows. You must be proud of the independent and brave warriors you are raising and not guilt ridden for the mistakes you think you are making."

Thorin felt as if a hand squeezed around his heart ruthlessly and his fingers began trembling. "My sons almost died today Dwalin and it's my fault."

Dwalin frowned and pressed his forearm. "No it is not!"

Thorin drew his hand away and covered his eyes. "Durin is constantly trying to prove that he can walk on my footsteps. My damned legacy has left my boy with an impossible burden. How easy is it for him to prove himself worthy as my son and on top of that fulfil the legacy of his reincarnation? My boy needs a break." His voice faded.

"It must be very hard for him indeed...harder than it was for you, but Durin's heart is that of lion. Don't ever forget that!" Dwalin's brow filled with shadows.

Thorin's eyes pooled with tears. "I am destroying him without ever meaning to. Eilin was right. I resemble my father too much."

Dwalin frowned and his eyes hooded. "Oh, I hope she is not guilt tripping you with that."

Thorin brows wrinkled and he rubbed his eyes trying to stop the tears from coming. "We say some pretty painful things to each other lately."

Dwalin's voice faded. "Why?"

It took several moments of pondering for Thorin to reply. "I think our hurtful words equal a scream that we never release. I think we are using a counterproductive way to plead for each other's attention. A nasty loop to be sure. Painful as hell." Thorin admitted feeling crushed.

Dwalin sighed and clasped his shoulder. "Is this what is happening to you lately?"

Thorin's sad smile changed to a serious frown. "Do you want an answer to that?"

Dwalin looked at the bottle of mead that was almost empty. "All that lads have noticed that something is wrong with you."

Thorin pressed the heels of his palms on his eyes. "Of course there is something wrong with me. Even though I pride myself of ruling the North and all the alliances with an iron fist, I cannot find a footing with my family. I am putting unfair pressure on my oldest son, I over-parent my daughter and I feel like my overbearing personality is causing Thrárin to be too cautious sometimes."

Dwalin cupped his bearded cheek pensively. "You are going through hell. Does Eilin know?"

Thorin shook his head. "On top of everything, I feel like I am losing my wife Dwalin."

His friend pulled him in until their foreheads touched. "Come on, you are overcome, that's all." Dwalin tried to comfort him with words he truly believed, but they didn't seem to brighten up the darkness that plagued Thorin's eyes.

"Between all our bickering about the children and her father I feel like I am not enough for her anymore." Thorin felt the words sliding heavily out of his lips. This was the first time he was revealing what ailed him so much to someone.

"Eilin absolutely adores you. Stop this and try to think clearly!" Dwalin frowned and jerked him hard.

Thorin inhaled and kept the breath for several moments before hunching under the pressure. "I do too, but is that enough in the long run?"

Dwalin opened his mouth to answer, but Thorin didn't allow him.

He grabbed Dwalin's forearm. "I cannot comfort her like I could before. I cannot lick her wounds. I feel as if I am a burden to her at times and now I feel the same for my son."

"Thorin!" Dwalin grumbled.

Thorin shook his head and closed his eyes feeling conquered by his emotions. "I know all this might sound crazy to you."

Dwalin pressed his iron grip on Thorin's muscular shoulder, needing to draw him out of this trip to self-pity. "This is just the seven year itch, which fell upon you guys with a small delay. I bet every father has felt inadequate for his family at some point Thorin. It's not just you."

"Still it is so infuriating..." Thorin murmured. He was unable to open his eyes and face his friend.

Dwalin kept his worried stare on him long before speaking again. "I bet it is. You must talk with her before this ruins you..."

Thorin's head shook faintly and several long grey locks covered his eyes. "I haven't seized trying to do so, but either she avoids such discussions or nothing productive ever comes out of them."

Dwalin's brow creased in frustration. "You are acting like she did when the twins were one year old, remember? When she thought you didn't want any more kids and instead of asking you she drew inwards causing a lot of friction between you."

Thorin frowned and looked at the fire lost for several moments. "I remember..."

"You are doing the exact same thing now. You are pulling inwards. Grab her by the arms and shake her to reason. Yell to her face that you are in pain. She must understand that she is not the only one who is suffering by what is happening with her father and your children. Tell her or else she might never reach out to you Thorin." Dwalin continued in resolution.

Thorin cupped his face and remained silent. "I don't want to scare her away Dwalin. You don't know how vulnerable she is now. Especially with has been happening with these candidates pretending to be her father. She doesn't need more pressure from me. I won't make the same mistake I made with Durin. Not with her."

Dwalin pulled back and looked at him mournfully. "So you will try to get through this on your own?"

Thorin's beautiful eyes gazed at him heartbroken. "I will do whatever I can, not to overburden her..."

"...and in the meantime you will allow her to draw away from you more..." Dwalin's eyes thinned.

Thorin's chest released a broken exhalation. "She needs time."

"And you need help." Dwalin admonished.

Thorin breathed deeply and rubbed his face. "I'll manage."

Dwalin shook him by the shoulder. "Be careful what you are doing Thorin."

The King met his eyes solemnly. "I will..." He whispered.

That is when the door knocked and they both looked up. Dwalin's quiet question found Thorin nodding.

"Yeah, tell them to come in."

"Come." Dwalin called.

Balin opened the door and sneaked a look inside. "Ah, there you are laddie. Been looking all over the place for you."

Thorin leaned back to his armchair. "What do you want?" He was not in the mood for anything more this evening.

Balin pointed behind him. "The Ranger who saved your sons and Lord Elrond's daughter are waiting for you at the King's Halls."

That gave silence to the King who looked up sternly. "They didn't leave yet?"

Balin pressed his lips. "No."

"I thought they were in a hurry to return to the Elven realm." Thorin sighed in exhaustion and pushed himself up.

"I thought so too, but apparently they are not." -Balin shrugged - "Are you in the mood to talk to them?"

Thorin tilted his head loftily and stood up. "Yes, I haven't thanked the Ranger for what he did."

Balin and Dwalin tailed Thorin out the door.

"Elessar is his name I think. Chieftain of the Rangers of the North. Correct?" Balin asked.

Thorin's lips curled down glumly. "He is much more than that Balin..."

Balin threw a guarded look at his brother who reciprocated. "What do you mean laddie?"

"We have a King in our midst..." Thorin rejoined indifferently as he walked down the Royal staircase.

Balin smiled apprehensively. "I suppose you are not talking about yourself in the third person?"

Thorin looked at him with a lopsided smile. "I am not that crazy yet."

Balin nodded knowingly. "I suspected so..."

Thorin drew in a deep breath and his eyes toughened as he glared at great archway that led to the King's Halls.

* * *

 

"Elessar..." Arwen touched his hands gently and her whisper echoed warm in his ears.

He caressed the softness of her smooth skin with the barest of touches. His eyes lifted up to hers. "You shouldn't have followed me here." His voice was hushed.

Arwen looked around the majestic cavern of the King's Halls and at the banners which were hanging above the rune carved archway. They still bore the claw-marks of the beast that slept for centuries under the mountain. "I cannot talk to you like I wish when I am near my kin." She whispered.

Elessar's fingers left her hand and flew on her cheek for a moment before finding the softness of her mouth. "What we are doing here is not wise. We are not acting honorably towards your father."

Arwen's beautiful brows came together uneasily. "You always speak about my father. What about us?"

Elessar swallowed heavily and gazed at her hypnotic eyes. "We are far from home and in here even far from our kin...we should get back soon."

Arwen's lips blossomed with a sweet smile. "Maybe that is what we need..."

Elessar's brow creased in confusion. "Does your father know you followed me here? Does he know where you are?"

Arwen hesitated and leaned over to gift his lips with a gentle kiss that stole his breath. "No he does not...and maybe that is for the best. Here we are hidden from prying eyes. We are hidden from his scrutiny."

Elessar didn't open his eyes as he leaned his forehead to hers possessively. "Are you suggesting that we remain here ..."

Her long fingers sealed his mouth and she smiled. "For a little while...just stay here for a little while..."

Elessar's fingers smoothed over her long neck and cupped her nape, keeping her close. "Arwen..." He whispered breathless.

"We cannot be like this when we are close to my father...you know that. He will never approve..."

Elessar opened his mouth to speak, but a deeply rich voice resonated around them and made them draw apart with a sharp inhalation.

"Elessar Telcontar or else Aragorn the second, correct?..." Thorin was standing at the entrance of the archway escorted by Balin and Dwalin.

Elessar drew back from Arwen respectfully and came down to one knee. "Correct, my King..."

Thorin tilted his head solemnly. "I have been expecting you..." -He hesitated momentarily- "...much later."

Aragorn looked uneasily at Arwen without knowing what to say to that.

"Circumstances brought you before me sooner, which I don't regret." Thorin's face remained unreadable.

Aragorn averted his youthful eyes. "My Lord..." he said, but Thorin spoke over him.

"You saved my boys today..." the King's voice lagged musingly.

Aragorn bowed his head courteously. "King Thranduil's realm was looking for them, I was just lucky to find them first..."

Thorin raised his hand in authority and his eyes thinned. "Which is something I will never forget."

Aragorn smiled at Arwen fleetingly, but looked slightly bewildered. "Thank you, my Lord."

"You are under the protection of my kin and of my Kingdom hereafter, Chieftain." Thorin's lips curled up in a quiet smile.

Aragorn reciprocated and bowed his head. "I am honored, my Lord."

Thorin scrutinizing eyes fell on Arwen who averted hers instantly. He took several steps closer to her. "The charming Lady Arwen I presume. Lord Elrond's daughter and granddaughter of the Lady of Light."

Arwen curtsied and smiled. "Thank you for taking us in..." She said quietly and her eyes found their courage again and inspected the impressive King she was seeing for the first time.

Thorin gave Dwalin a knowing smile and then his attention returned to her. "Lady Arwen your father doesn't know that you are with us..." That wasn't a question.

She gave a nervous look at Aragorn. "No." She replied with honesty.

Thorin gave them a curt nod and gestured them to follow him. "Very well. Engage the elbow of your lady and follow me in my offices Chieftain." The assertiveness of his voice didn't give them much of chance to deny, so they followed him silently up to the Royal offices.


	6. My Lifeline

 

* * *

_Eilin kicked the ground and her swing flew up to the clouds. A carefree giggle escaped her as she came back down and the scented spring breeze blew her long red curls behind her back. Her stomach tightened in expectancy and she relished the freedom she felt. When the swing rose again she grabbed hold of the ropes and threw her head back. She opened her eyes and saw the foliage lingering ever so close to her. She reached out to touch them, but her fingers only managed to skim them fleetingly before gravity pulled her down._

_Another fierce kick accompanied with a laugh send her up and she looked at the green leaves longingly. They always escaped her grasp…. In ever single dream... She had never managed to get one of these beautiful shiny leaves even though she always tried. When she reached the branch her fingers closed around the leaf and this time she was certain she was going to tear it away and bring it back down to earth with her, but she lost her balance. For a split second she had to decide if she wanted to get the leaf or fall off the swing. She looked with wide regretful eyes her fingers releasing the leaf and grabbing the rope tightly. She found her balance, but her heart filled with great dissapointment. Once more she failed to get the leaf. Instead of kicking the earth to try again she placed her naked feet down in order to break the force of the swing._

_When it stopped Eilin's arms dangled disheartened next to the ropes and she looked at her dirty feet. As her big toes gave her a silly salutation, a small smile formed on her lips. Now it was time to lift up her head and look at the dark doorway of her family home, wasn't it? It was time to see what her mind had prepared for her this time. Usually it was the shadowy figures of her parents who appeared there, summoning her back to their family, wordlessly. Nevertheless with the passage of time and as her life began changing in reality, so did her dreams. More people began appearing steadily on that doorway, with her husband and children taking the lead._

_Whenever she saw them though they were never in the shadows, like her parents were. They were clearly defined, standing there with huge smiles on their faces begging her to come to them. Instead of going to the house to find them, she beckoned her kids to the swing and they always came running, adorning the air with their carefree laughter. She took turns to place them on the swing one by one, pushing them up to the skies in order to allow them grab their own leaf. Durin and Rhianaye had taken theirs early on after they began appearing in her dream. Thrárin hadn't managed to get his yet and Thorin had never tried to get on the swing. He always stood back there at the doorway, like a tall and imposing keeper. Securing their safety with his silent presence. When her husband and children appeared in that doorway her dream remained that… a lovely escape from reality that allowed her to wake up happy and well rested. When the shadows of her parents were there, it turned into a nightmare that made her wake up panting for breath. So every time her dream reached this point and she had to lift her head to see who stood there, Eilin prayed it was going to be her chosen family, not the one who abandoned her._

_She closed her eyes and whispered a prayer no one heard, but herself. "Please let it be Thorin and the kids…please let it be Thorin and the kids."_

_She held her breath…_

_Opened her eyes…._

_Her fingers tightened around the ropes…._

_She looked up…._

_…and a deep frown appeared on her clear forehead. No one was there this time and wasn't that utterly weird?_

_Had she ever seen the cottage empty?_

_She didn't think so….._

_She humphed and sulked as she released the ropes and jumped to the ground. Then suddenly she stopped and looked at the forest around her. Did it seem darker than usual? Did it have a peculiar reddish hue she had never noticed before? She scowled towards the sky. It wasn't as if it was filled with clouds, which would justify the sudden darkness and neither was there a setting sun painting it with such bloody colors. It was as if the light that had been drenching the blue sky for every single dream, ever since she could remember, had somehow dimmed. She clutched her shoulders and looked at the shadows that began forming in the forest behind her. Then her attention turned to the doorway of the cottage. Right now she was begging to see someone there who would come and chase those shadows away. Praying even harder that it would be her beloved husband. She needed his solid presence in this dream to keep her grounded. He was her lifeline. The one keeping her from scattering like dust in the four winds._

_Yet, no one was there…_

_Not her tall mother…nor her short father…. Not her imposing husband or her beloved children. The doorway was empty._

_"Okay, now I think it is time for me to wake up…." She whispered and her fingers pinched her bicep hard._

_She felt nothing._

_She looked back at the swing which was swaying slightly even though there was no wind. She looked up at the foliage of the tree and it was not moving at all. Equally still was her hair, her airy dress, the grass under her feet or the tops of the other trees. Only the swing was moving. Even she seemed as unmovable as a statue. Her stomach twisted with unexpected apprehension and her hands pressed her shoulders tightly. "Eilin, wake up. This isn't going as it was supposed to. Now please…wake up…" She urged herself in a hushed tone._

_The whisper that replied came from her back and it was enough to make scream to the top of her lungs. "Wake up little girl…."_

_Eilin twisted around sharply to see who that was, but the whisper stopped her._

_"Oh, don't do that. You are not ready to see who is hiding in the shadows …"_

_She closed her eyes and tried to stop her body from trembling. "Who are you…?" She choked._

_The shuffling behind her send shivers down her spine._ _"Who do you wish me to be? That is a better question."_

_Eilin's heart palpitated. "You are not my husband." She replied with confidence. Thorin's voice had another tone of richness. It was deeper, endlessly affectionate and so immeasurably tender…its timbre alone was enough to vibrate her very soul. This voice's richness was distant, cold and dark._

_"No…"_

_Wisps of fear tickled Eilin's spine. The shadows had never spoken to her during her dreams. Neither her children…. Only Thorin ever spoke to her. What was this new devilry? "Who are you?" She repeated and made another attempt to see her interlocutor._

_"Stay still, there is nothing to see here…" The voice warned._

_"Why?" She cried._

_"I am made up of unforgivable mist and forlorn dreams…I am soulless..." The voice whispered._

_Eilin caressed her quivering shoulders, needing to provide herself some form of comfort. "Is my husband with you?"_

_The voice didn't answer. "Your husband is not in the shadows...yet…."_

_"Yet?" A thundering quake woke up her body even at the suggestion that Thorin would one day join these mists._

_The voice didn't reply._

_Eilin felt her throat growing dry. "Are my babies there with you?"_

_"No…"_

_"My mother…." Her voice became a mere murmur._

_"She hasn't been with us since forever….."_

_She tried to stop herself from hearing her heart thudding loudly in her ears and her voice came out full of shattered desolation. "Are you my father?"_

_The long lingering pause, made her hair stand on end._

_She squeezed her eyes tight. "I need to wake up…I need to wake up right now!"_

_The mocking tone of the voice gave her the jitters. "You always say that you need to wake up, still you always return here…to the mist."_

_Eilin felt her stomach twisting around. "I cannot help it. I cannot choose the dreams I see…"_

_"And yet you can…."_

_Eilin's eyes burned. "How? Tell me how to choose not to see this dream night after night and I will do it."_

_"You need to let go of the past little girl. There is no other way to fix what is broken…" The voice was softer somehow._

_"What is broken…? Is there something that we must fix? Isn't this just a dream?" Eilin asked and looked towards the swing that had stopped its movement. The darkness was becoming even more prominent and now she was barely able to see the outlines of the trees around her._

_"It is a dream you keep coming back to. Why are you doing that little red headed girl?" The voice taunted._

_Eilin felt tears pooling at the edge of her eyes. "I don't know why I keep coming back."_

_"Oh, I think you do…" The voice became hard as steel._

_"Stop it!" She hissed and her fingers dag into her shoulders._

_"Come on…say it!" The voice teased._

_"Stop it!" She yelled._

_"Say it…you wish to fix what is broken..." The voice didn't relent._

_It took Eilin several moments to manage an answer and when she did her voice was defeated. "I want to find my family."_

_The silent lingering behind her felt only too heavy._

_"I want to find my family… this is their home…" She repeated and a hot tears cascaded down her cheek._

_"They never truly had a home and you know it. Everything in this dream is created by your own imagination." The voice rebuked._

_Another tear escaped the enclosure of Eilin's eyelids. "Still…"_

_"Your family is not in this forest, neither in this imaginary cottage. It is outside of the world of dreams…awaiting for you." The voice continued._

_Eilin opened her eyes. The sky had fallen completely dark. "I know…"_

_"Then why do you insist on coming here night after night?" The voice rejoined._

_Eilin didn't know what to answer…._

_"You seek to give a face to your past, while you are in danger of forsaking the face your future." A tone of darkness colored that voice._

_"My future…?" She whispered._

_"While you are buried deep in your need to define your past, you are starting to lose the line that is holding you tied up to your future." The voice hissed._

_Eilin's eyes released more tears. "My line…." She muttered and the face of Thorin came to haunt her._

_"Don't you feel it starting to fray slowly?" The voice became suddenly hushed and insinuating._

_Eilin frowned. "I do…"_

_"Do you want that line to sustain or do you want it to break?" The voice hissed._

_Eilin gasped and felt her body quivering. "I prefer to die than let it break."_

_The voice hesitated momentarily. "Then you have to be careful. Your lingering in the past is making this line stretch between the dreams and reality. Its strength will eventually dither and it might break apart."_

_Eilin's chest released a pained sob. "No…I don't want him to break apart…."_

_"Then help yourself and him. Stop coming here! Stop lingering in the past!" The voice snapped._

_Eilin shook her head angrily. "I don't want my line to break, I don't want him to tear apart…I don't want him to linger in these dreams of mine. I want to stop coming here too…"_

_The voice remained silent._

_"Help me do it. Help me stop coming here…." She begged._

_No answer._

_Eilin held her breath and turned around. No one was there. The darkness around her was so total that she was even unable to see the outline of the cottage. "Help me…" She whispered…._

_Silence._

_Her mouth opened and an abysmal howl of anguish came out._

* * *

She inhaled sharply and sat up in her bed. She was drenched in sweat and every single cell of her body seemed to be trembling. She gasped for breath and clutched her chest. Faint light was creeping in from the bottom of the heavy velvet maroon curtains. She looked quickly next to her and saw the bed empty. Panic caught up with her half awoken mind and she grasped the sheets in her fist. "Rhianaye? Thrárin !?" She whispered in distress.

The soft breathing from the recliner drew her attention. With a heavy sigh of relief she looked at Thorin. He was sleeping quietly there, with a small blanket gathered between his thighs and his torso in a ball of fabric that seemed to be breathing. Eilin pushed her quilt away and placed her naked feet on the floor. Just the feeling of the cold carved stone under them was enough to soothe down her heart. She stood up and her sweaty curls fell heavy close to her waist. She inhaled deeply, held her breath and then tiptoed close to the recliner. When her eyes saw young Thrárin sleeping hidden under the blanket, between the wall and his father's large frame, a spring released from her heart and she exhaled hard. She clasped her chest and closed her eyes in relief. A sound that was equal parts sob and laughter erupted from her chest and she cupped her mouth to stop herself from waking them up.

Thrárin stretched and then snuggled close Thorin's arm that was above the boy's head. Thorin's large body was curled protectively around their youngest child, shielding it from the outside world and a small spark of jealousy touched Eilin's heart. For just one moment she wished Thorin could get off the recliner and follow her to bed in order to shield her in a similar manner. Not in her dreams this time, but in reality. Shield her from everything painful, like he always did. She wanted him to defend her against the pain that was deriving from inside her soul, which was impossible to happen.

Still she ached to wake him up and ask him for a hug…she wanted to tell him about her nightmare and discuss it with him. She wanted to allow his always calm and reasonable mind quiet down all her fears.

However, waking him up at that moment felt like sacrilege. Both he and Thrárin were sleeping so peacefully. Eilin's eyes fell on her husband's muscular back and she counted the seven stars of Durin with her fingers. She leaned down and her hand touched Thorin's bicep gently. Her hot and sweaty palm relished the coolness of his soft skin and she closed her eyes. She sat gently next to him and her hand reached up to his neck. Her finger smoothed over his skin and pulled his hair away from his face, until his pointy ear got revealed. Her heart skipped a beat as she gazed fondly at his golden earring. "My treasured lifeline…" She muttered and felt a hot tear sliding down her nose.

Thorin's deep, calm breaths and Thrárin's soft snoring didn't waver, despite her presence.

Eilin lingered above them like the most devoted angel, using their presence to calm down her heart from the nightmare, but also hoping her prayers were protecting them from their bad dreams. She needed to believe that she was back to reality and not in that cottage listening to the dark haunting voice of her father. For she was certain the voice that talked to her in there tonight, had been her father. She wanted to remain above her family forever, delighting at the sound of their soft breathing and at the serenity which was enveloping their faces. She leaned her forehead on Thorin's shoulder and closed her eyes, feeling more emotional than she would have ever expected. "My lifeline…I won't let us break…I promise." She whispered.

His breathing changed and his arm came down. His fingers searched until his palm could shield her hand. In his sleep he had offered Eilin the loving touch that she desired so much. She sighed and felt the heaviness that had been covering her heart ever since she woke up, lifting away immediately. Thorin didn't speak to her and she doubted that he was truly awake. He merely clutched her hand tightly for a few moments, gave it a reassuring squeeze that she appreciated more than words could tell and then relaxed once more, allowing his sleep to draw him in what Eilin hoped were better dreams than hers.

She closed her eyes and gave his smooth skin several butterfly kisses, not wanting to wake him up, but at the same time begging him to do so in order to take her back to their bed and enfold her in his strong arms. Still she remained silent and affectionately vigilant above her husband and her son for a long time. The conspiring whispers that were coming from the half open door of the children's bedroom told her everything she needed to know about the twins.

They were already fully awake and planning out how to ruin their parent's day once again. Probably whispering about how fun it would be for one of them to go to dad's office and the other at the kitchens and use the funnels which were meant for communication in order to pass down to each other golden coins or precious gems taken from the treasury. Something that Gloin abhorred, but his son Gimli encouraged. Several times it was he who snuck the twins secretly at the vaults allowing them to choose gems in order to play with the funnels, but he always made sure to pick every single one of them and return them back before his formidable father found out and cursed both him and the twins to the very fires of Mount Doom.

As Eilin allowed Thorin's calm breathing and the whispers of the twins to soothe down her soul she felt more and more distanced from the dream that shook her sanity, but not distanced enough from its meaning. That dream was the representation of her fears about the constant arguments between her and Thorin.

The anxiety in her dream that her lifeline was going to break apart, was in reality her dread that all this was going to break her and Thorin apart and she didn't know how to stop it. Whenever another candidate approached her she lost all sense of priority. Her cherished family took the backseat and only the possibility that she had finally found her father consumed her thoughts, until they failed to prove themselves, once again sending her into a spiral of despair that ultimately affected everyone around her. She felt forlorn during those moments and even though she adored her husband and she knew that he was doing the best he could to help her, she also knew that it was impossible to be helped. As the voice in her dream said. All this nightmare was hers to end, no one else's.

Eilin's lips skimmed on Thorin's shoulder and she placed soft kisses up to hollow of his neck. Then she rested her cheek on his and quietened down her breathing. He didn't stir at all under her and neither did her youngest son. Only when she heard the outside door opening in the children's room did she open her eyes. They were dry and her heartbeat was peaceful. Even in his sleeping state he had been more than able to disperse all those nightmares away from her mind. He had helped her with the same silent ease he had helped Durin three days ago. Still she would have wanted a few moments of privacy with him. To hug him, to talk to him, to hear him hush her worries with his usual tenderness.

Never mind…she didn't want to bother him now. He'd find a way to see her during the day, like he always did. They'd talk then…he would soothe her down, he would embrace her, he would tell her that he felt her distress and that he left an important meeting in order to make her feel better…like he always did. They always shared that unspoken and eerie ability to –feel- each other even when they were apart. He wouldn't fail her today. He would sense her worries and rush to find her later on. She knew it.

With that reassurance in mind she felt her heart swelling. She smiled down at Thorin and caressed the silver locks on his forehead. "I love you, my lifeline…" She muttered.

Thorin remained quietly asleep, unaware of Eilin's recently troubled mind or of how doting the smile she gave him was. She turned to her baby boy, stooped down and planted a warm kiss on his forehead. "Sleep my baby." She whispered.

Thrárin kept on snoring lightly.

Eilin stood up and looked back to their bed. She tiptoed there and picked up her large quilt. Then she returned and covered Thorin with a tenderness that would have touched his heart had he seen it. She tucked him in and after making sure that both he and Thrárin were warm, she walked to the window. She pulled the curtains closed trying to stop every rude ray of sun from intruding their quiet chambers and waking them up. Then she wore a long gown above her nightdress and her boots before opening the door to the children's bedroom.

Durin was holding the end of a long rope and Rhianaye was holding the other end. "We need to find a bigger one. How are we going to be able to make it reach the other side of the river?" Rhianaye asked.

"Yeah, that's true." Durin nodded and they both looked up when their mother entered.

Lady Dis was in the room tidying up. "Good morning my darling." She smiled brightly at Eilin.

"Good morning." -Eilin reciprocated the smile with mild difficulty and then turned to the twins- "What in the name of heaven are you two doing up so early?" She asked them.

Rhianaye shrugged. "Durin's head wound woke him up."

Eilin frowned and went up to her son. She cupped his cheek, steadied his head and scrutinized his wound. "Does it hurt you still?" She asked feeling mildly worried. After three days it was supposed to be getting better.

Durin shook his head. "Not much."

Eilin kissed his head and gave him a nod. "I will tell Oin to take another look at it."

Durin rolled his eyes. "I am fine mom."

Eilin raised her finger to him in austerity. "Silence young man. Lord Oin shall check on you today, that was my final word."

"Fine." Durin grumbled.

Eilin gave Dis a lopsided smile and then turned to Rhianaye. "So why did you wake up?"

Rhianaye pointed at her brother. "Because he did!"

Eilin frowned. "But you were sleeping in my bed. He couldn't have woken you up."

Rhianaye's lips turned down and she looked confused. "I don't know mom. I always wake up when he does."

Durin smirked. "I do the same."

Eilin exhaled and rubbed her forehead. "Did you guys have any breakfast?"

The twins looked up with sudden enthusiasm and spoke simultaneously. "No!"

Eilin snorted. "I'll make you some eggs, okay?"

"Yes!" They said in unison.

Eilin shook her head. "I hate it when you do that…"

"What?" They asked in a single voice.

Eilin flayed her arms at them and remained silent, which made them giggle. She shook her head. "That! Now keep quiet! Your dad and Thrárin are still asleep."

The twins ignored her and turned their attention to the rope once more and how they were going to utilize it today at the river shore in order to make the best nets.

Dis turned at her cradling several clothes in her hands. "Which is something you should be doing also. You don't look well rested." She noted.

Eilin yawned. "Nightmares again."

Dis placed the clothes down and came over to her. She engaged her elbow and walked with her until they were out of earshot. "Did you see the cottage again?"

Eilin's face paled. "Yes."

Dis exhaled and looked at her disapprovingly. "You need to stop all this, honest."

Eilin's lips pressed and her fingers clutched the air in front of her angrily. "How! Tell me how and I shall do it. I know this thing is tearing me apart!"

Dis hesitated. "You didn't have a candidate again, did you?"

Eilin crossed her arms. "After the last one, no."

Dis nodded musingly. "I thought that not thinking about it would have assisted with the dreams."

Eilin rubbed her temples. "Just because I am not coming face to face with every con artist who wants to pretend to be my father, doesn't mean that I am not thinking about it."

Dis opened her mouth in order to say something, but regretted it.

Eilin waved her off. "Don't look at me like that. I had a very good bashing from my father in this dream, about the damned dream itself."

Dis frowned in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"This time I didn't see any shadows, neither Thorin nor the children. I saw no one, but I did hear a voice." Eilin explained.

"So this voice was your father?" Dis' eyes softened.

Eilin shrugged. "Well, my damned mind has probably created this voice for my father. Considering that I hate him, I did a very good job with it, I will admit that."

Dis' face fell. "I don't think you hate him."

"Can we not do this right now?" Eilin rebuked.

Dis sighed and gave her a soft nod. "Sure. So what did the voice tell you?"

Eilin threw her hands in the air. "To stop coming back to this dream, because it is causing my reality to unravel."

Dis' brow creased. "Bullocks. It isn't ruining your reality. Dreams are just the representation of our fears, our worries and our hopes. That is what I always believed, even though Thorin thought that sometimes they were glimpses in the future or the past."

Eilin's lips cracked a small smile. "That sounds so much like him."

Dis' mouth reciprocated. "I don't know. I guess as the heir of Durin he might have had intuitions and visions I never had. You see my dreams never showed me the death of my husband nor that of my child. They didn't show me the death of my father, grandfather and brother. They never told me I would meet you and that I would have adorable nieces and nephews in the future. They never told me anything. They were always a confused mixture of pictures and words and sounds, so I give them no real value. Thorin on the other hand…well…."

Eilin nodded knowingly. "His dreams are special sometimes, aren't they? "

Dis nodded. "And sometimes downright scary, for he has seen things that have come true. Now if that extends to your dreams and especially to the one of the cottage, I cannot know."

Eilin licked her bottom lip and looked at Dis for several thoughtful moment, before speaking. "I think my dreams might be special sometimes too."

Dis' brows wavered in indecision, but she remained silent.

Eilin felt eager to elaborate. "When I was pregnant I saw Thorin standing at the doorway of the cottage holding two children by the hands. A boy and a girl. I barely remember what we told each other and I can't remember their faces, but back then I didn't know I was having twins….." She shrugged and looked affectionately at her children that seemed oblivious of their mother's loving gaze.

Dis turned to them and gave them a melancholic smile. "I see. So you are a bit special too, aren't you?"

Eilin gazed at her quietly. "If I am, what does that tell me about this recurring dream? What does it tell me about this voice warning me about the future of my family….?"

Dis sat down next to her and cupped her hand. "Maybe it is telling you to enjoy the present without feeling overburdened by the ghosts of the past."

Eilin nibbled her bottom lip and her brows creased. "Or maybe it is warning me to take better care of my family."

Dis pressed her hands. "Are you not taking good care of them already perchance? What is this sudden guilt? You are a devoted mother. You adore your children and you are doing the best to raise them. You are a loyal wife who cherishes her husband above her own self…"

Eilin interrupted her. "But am I?"

Dis looked at her confused. "What are you saying Eilin?"

The Queen stroked her forehead and looked at their joined hands in her lap. "I am quarreling too much with him…." She whispered feeling defeated of admitting this to Dis even though the Princess had overheard their bickering a couple of times.

Dis' face was unreadable.

Eilin nodded softly. "You've heard us."

Dis cleared up some hair that was falling on Eilin's cheek and tucked them behind her ear. "What long-term couple doesn't fight, dearest?" She said with a sweet smile.

Eilin's eyes looked up sadly.

"You think I didn't fight with my husband, especially for everything that concerned our children?" Dis tilted her head.

"You did?" Eilin's lips ghosted an uncertain smile.

Dis nodded firmly. "All the time. He wanted to raise them as soldiers and I wanted to give them all the nurture in my heart. We had different ideas of what parental love was all about, but doesn't that happen with every couple?"

Eilin's smile widened.

"A man and a woman have different ways of expressing their feelings my darling and that can cause friction. Especially when it concerns their children."

Eilin felt her shoulders slouching.

"Besides my brother can become very stubborn, so I get why you get pissed at him." Dis patted her hand.

"Even though I love him so much…." Eilin whispered.

Dis grinned. "And he does too."

Eilin averted her eyes and nibbled her bottom lip musingly. "Sometimes I feel all this is going to tear us apart and it is not only because of the children."

Dis pressed her lips. "It's about the candidates too…isn't it?"

Eilin looked up defeated. "He told you?"

Dis nodded gently. "We share a lot…"

Eilin sighed and lowered her head. "About those too. Especially about those."

"I cannot understand how you feel about that, but I can empathize my darling. How easy can it be for you…?" Dis mused.

Eilin looked at the twins and drew a deep breath. "It is a nightmare that never stops. From the moment the world learned my legacy and the name of my father it was as if the floodgates that held back the dirtiest water in all of Middle Earth collapsed and drowned me with it."

Dis gave her a soft nod. "I know."

"I have seen every kind of villain. From the best ones who almost convinced Thorin, who is the more suspicious of the two of us, to the ones that didn't even know how to pronounce my father's name properly. I think after almost a decade of such interviews there isn't anything I haven't seen. Rich pompous idiots that yearn to place the tag of the Queen's father to their bio, the parasites of all scum and the most pathetic looking cases that simply wish for a second chance in life. Every single one of them breaks my heart, again and again…this torture seems unstoppable."

Dis' face hardened. "I may sound cruel now, but Eilin I don't believe your father is alive anymore. Had he been he would have tried to contact you when your identity got public. Thorin should stop anyone from trying to see you, period. He should put a stop in this bloody menagerie once and for all."

Eilin's fingers tightened around Dis' hand. "You think he is dead…truly?"

Dis' brow wavered. "Don't you my darling?"

It took several moments for Eilin to shake her head. "No…the hope still lives in me and you know what is the worst part of all this?"

Dis frowned silently.

"That I also hope he is dead, because that would give me a final resolution to the hate that I feel for him." Eilin whispered and her eyes looked haunted with unshed tears.

Dis nodded quietly. "This is tearing you apart."

Eilin shook her hand hard and her jawline flexed. "You have no idea how much. I hope he is dead so I can stop worrying of what I would ever say to him if he were by any chance alive, but I also hope he lives so I can spit all these questions to his face."

Dis' eyes filled with grief. "My dearest girl…." She muttered.

Eilin averted her eyes and cupped her burning cheek. "Whenever a candidate appears these conflicting emotions become all-consuming and I cannot think of anything else when I am like that. Not my children nor my husband."

Dis caressed her hair and smiled bitterly. "You cannot find peace anywhere, can you?"

Eilin nodded gently. "I will never find peace unless I manage in some manner to leave the past behind. When I gave birth to the twins I thought I had managed it with Thorin's help. I had my own family, a man who loved me and two beautiful children who had been created by our love. I thought I was able to put the ghosts of past to rest, and truly for the first couple of years everything was perfect."

Dis' brow wrinkled. "Until the first candidates started knocking on our doors."

Eilin's eyes welled. "After that I couldn't find peace anywhere. I still remember the first one who came. A disheveled looking grey haired Dwarf that almost crawled his way in Thorin's office. He looked so broken, so emotional when he saw me, so unable to utter the words that instead of feeling disgust, my heart skirted. You see in all this darkness I was still hopeful that this disheveled Dwarf would have enlightened me about my family and the reasons they gave up on me so early on. That first candidate didn't even declare that he was there as my possible father. He simply asked to see the King and the Queen because he had information about the Queen's mother, dropped on his knees in front of us, penetrated me with his haunted eyes and just when I was about to ask him myself if he was the one…he lowered his head and never gave me a second look. Instead of having the nerve to tell Thorin that he was my dad like the ones who followed him did, he begged for our forgiveness and scattered out of the door as if the very hounds of hell were after him. He was the first one that broke my heart and didn't even have the guts to play with my soul like all the others did."

Dis shook her head and traced the hair on her temple. "My Eilin…."

She smiled soullessly and looked at their hands. "After him all hell broke loose…."

Dis sighed deeply. "Eilin after so many years of false leads, maybe you should give up on the search. Maybe you should accept that you will never discover your parents and simply deny an audience to anyone who tries to approach you. There is no point in torturing yourself."

Eilin's brows flicked. "Indeed, after my last heated argument with Thorin I asked him to do just that."

Dis' lips formed a ghostly smile. "You did well."

Eilin's face lines broke with uncertainty. "Even though my heart will still wonder if one of those people who lurk outside our door is –the- one. The orders my husband gave are stealing away my opportunity to finally meet my dad, look in his eyes, ask him why and then hate him with all my heart."

Dis sighed deeply. "That's your wish for him? To meet him and then hate him forever?"

Eilin's nose flared. "Yes…" the word was almost hushed.

Dis pulled her in and Eilin didn't resist. "I understand honey…." She murmured and caressed her hair tenderly.

Eilin held Dis tight and closed her eyes. "I want to have the opportunity to ask him why. Then I want to hate him…hate him until my hate can kill him."

Dis' lips curled down and she nodded gently. "I understand…" She repeated and they remained hugging for a long time.

* * *

"Please don't tell my dad about the Petty Dwarf, mister." Thrárin gazed up at the tall man with beseeching eyes.

Aragorn came down to one knee and rested his arms above it. He looked at the young Prince with a sweet smile. "Why, young man?"

Thrárin began playing with the hem of his oversized tunic, which was a hand-me-down from Durin and looked nervously at his dad who was discussing with uncle Dain and uncle Fili a little ways off. "Because he doesn't allow Petty Dwarves in our Kingdom. He is going to arrest him."

Aragorn's eyes turned to Arwen who was observing them with the sweetest smile he had ever seen. "That is the King's job. To protect his land from shady characters and Petty Dwarves are very shady characters."

Thrárin 's eyes grew wide. "They aaaare?"

Aragorn nodded.

Thrárin clapped his hands. "How shady are they, mister? This much?" He opened his arms and looked eagerly at Aragorn.

Arwen laughed softly and Aragorn admired the effect this young Prince was having on her. "No, I'd say this big." -He showed the Prince with his own hands. Then he turned his eyes at Arwen- "Right?" He grinned.

Arwen pretended to think. "I'd say more like this much." She showed the Prince.

Thrárin jumped up and down. "Yeah, I think she is right what do you think?"

Aragorn's eyes filled with affection when he looked at her. "I think she is always right."

Arwen blushed and averted her eyes until Thrárin 's voice drew their attention once more. "So you are you going to keep the Petty Dwarf a secret?"

Aragorn sighed and clasped the Prince's forearm gently. "I never saw the Dwarf of whom you speak, but if he had been there his intentions cannot be good. Why do you wish to protect him from the wrath of your father?"

Thrárin looked at him confused for several moments. "I didn't understand some words you said mister, but I don't want my dad to arrest him. Mister Nameless was not bad to us and he was very hungry."

Aragorn gave Arwen a guarded gaze, which she reciprocated. "Nameless? Is that his name?"

Thrárin nodded and wiped his nose. "Yeah."

Aragorn's brow creased. "He told you his name was Nameless?"

Thrárin shook his head. "He said he doesn't have a name and Durin said we can call him that."

Aragorn rested on his shins and looked at the Prince thoughtfully. "My obligation is to inform your father of any contact you children had in Mirkwood."

Thrárin reached out and grabbed his hand. "No please Mister don't tell him. He will arrest poor Nameless and he might kill him. He was only hungry and he told us to get away from the Black Hill."

Arwen's hand fell on Aragorn's shoulder. "I am sure we can reconsider…"

Aragorn frowned at her. "What?"

Her fingers squeezed his shoulder gently. "Let's give the Prince his wish, shall we?"

Aragorn got ready to reply, but Arwen's gaze was enough to stop him a mere moment before she spoke in his mind. _"Tell the boy you will keep his secret and reveal it later to his father."_

Thrárin's eyes were gazing hungrily at Aragorn, waiting for an answer.

Aragorn smiled at her and his smile became softer towards the Prince. "Sure I will keep your secret."

Thrárin 's face brightened up. "Thank you mister! I owe you one!"

That is when Thorin's voice interrupted them. "The Chieftain has barely set foot in my Kingdom and suddenly we all owe him."

Thrárin pulled away from Aragorn and grasped his father's hand. "Can the missus take me riding in her big white horse daddy?" He asked eagerly and pointed at Arwen.

Thorin looked at her amused. "Have you asked her before asking me?"

Arwen raised her hand. "I asked the Prince, but he informed us that we all had to wait for you to stop your conversation and then to ask for your permission."

Thorin caressed his boy's hair and picked him. He gave his soft cheek a firm kiss. "Did you say all that, my brave little warrior?

Thrárin nodded. "Yes, daddy."

Aragorn stood up. "He is a very well manner boy, my Lord."

Thorin looked at his son with admiration and then smiled. "You want to go riding?"

Thrárin looked back at Arwen and pointed at the horse. "Yeah! With that horsey."

Thorin pulled him in for another greedy kiss and then placed him down. "Hold onto the breastplate firmly and listen to everything Lady Arwen tells you."

Thrárin wrapped his small arms around Thorin's waist and squeezed. "Okay daddy!" –Then he run to Arwen and clasped her hand- "Daddy said okay. Can we go now?"

Arwen offered Thorin a reassuring smile before walking away with Thrárin. "Of course we can."

Thrárin hopped like a rabbit. "Can we go fast?!"

Arwen chuckled. "No, not so fast."

Thrárin looked disappointed. "Why?"

Arwen pointed at the horse. "He is tired. We need to rest him."

Thrárin nodded slowly. "Oh, right…okay then, we can go veeeeery slow."

Arwen laughed and leaned down to give him a gentle kiss on the forehead, which Thrárin quickly wiped away.

Aragorn stippled his fingers. "He hates kisses?"

Thorin observed Arwen lifting Thrárin up to the magnificent white horse. "Didn't we all when we were children?"

Aragorn nodded quietly. "Indeed."

"Did you have a restful night?" Thorin crossed his arms calmly.

Aragorn nodded musingly. "These three nights and days you allowed us to remain here had been a blessing, my Lord."

Thorin's brows clouded. "It seemed like you needed them."

Aragorn looked at his hands embarrassed and then gave a prolonged look at Arwen who set her horse in a mild trot up and down the wide road. "We did and residing in the golden kingdom is an experience we will not forget soon."

Thorin smiled eloquently. "Oh, I am sure about that."

Aragorn hesitated for a few moments. "Thank you for placing us in the Royal quarters. That was an honor we didn't deserve your Majesty."

Thorin caressed his chin contemplatively and observed the Elven maiden and his baby boy. "They were befitting to a future King."

Aragorn's eyes fled to the King. "Few know my ancestry …." His voice faded.

Thorin raised his brow, but remained silent.

Aragorn inhaled deeply and looked at his hands. "Of course you must be one of them. Forgive me, my Lord."

Thorin tilted his head quietly.

Aragorn looked at the King and pressed his lips. "I noticed the shards of Narsil in your office the first day you took us there."

Thorin's mouth formed a serene smile. "Surely you were present when Elrond send the ruins of this sword in Erebor…."

Aragorn shifted uneasily. "I was, but I didn't feel comfortable seeing the heirloom of my family leaving Rivendell."

Thorin threw him a haughty stare that lasted longer than Aragorn would have wished. "It is an equally important heirloom of the Queen's family, but I am aware it is not meant to remain in Erebor for ever. This sword was created for great deeds, not to remain broken and unused in my office."

Aragorn's eyes glimmered.

Thorin didn't allow him to take over. "It shall be re-forged and it shall be given to him who is strong enough to wield it."

Aragorn's mouth remained shut, but his jawline flexed visibly.

Thorin noticed and a ghostly smile toyed on his lips. "You wish to be that man…." He declared.

Aragorn was unable to speak for several moments. He felt the tips of his fingers numbing down even at the thought. "One can only hope that he is going to prove strong enough to wield such a mighty weapon. I might not prove myself to be worthy."

Thorin threw his head back and observed Thrárin who had taken the reins of the horse and was trying to control it with Arwen's help. "Time will give you the opportunity to unfold your abilities and prove your valor to the sword and to your people."

Aragorn looked at Arwen and his eyes filled with unspoken affection. "She always tries to reassure me that I will be able to do so one day." He said wistfully.

Thorin frowned. "Yet, you don't believe her." What should have been a question ended up being another declaration.

Aragorn gazed at him with mild disbelief and then his shoulders slouched and he shook his head. "I fear her hopes will be crushed. Just because one is born to a certain ancestry doesn't mean that he will be good enough at the end, isn't that correct?"

Thorin tilted his head. "Fear of unworthiness can sometimes equal failure. Be careful, young man." -His voice gained a tone of warning that didn't get lost in Aragorn who remained silent. Thorin allowed him the time to take in those words before continuing- "Nevertheless they are emotions every great man has experienced in their lifetime."

Aragorn smiled pensively at his hands. "Is that meant to make me feel more worthy of my true lineage?"

Thorin's lips curled up in a knowing smile. "You and Durin have so much in common…."

Aragorn's smile faded. "Prince Durin carries a great legacy of his own."

Thorin nodded with a sad smile. "Which makes him feel the need to prove himself constantly. Something you witnessed firsthand that day at Dol Guldur."

Aragorn pressed his lips dejected. "I can certainly relate to the doubts that might be festering in him."

Thorin shook his head and frowned. "Him, you, me…anyone can have them, but the more people expect from you, the more difficult it will be."

Aragorn nodded quietly. "I know."

Thorin took a deep calm breath. "Stay true to yourself and everything will fall in place."

Aragorn nodded absently and his eyes found solace in Arwen's ethereal figure. "I will."

"The shadows that lurk in the east grow stronger and one day they will challenge all of us, young or old. They shall make no exception in their path to annihilation. When the time comes remember that you have a strong ally in the north." Thorin's words were profound. He reached out and offered his hand to Aragorn.

Aragorn's demeanor unlocked and he grasped the King's hand tightly. "Thank you Sir…"

Thorin's keen eyes penetrated the young man's countenance and it was as if he could see right through him. "And if I am not here, the legend you saved shall be in my stead to extend his hand to you in a similar manner."

Aragorn pressed Thorin's hand firmly. "The immeasurable honor you are offering me at this moment cannot be expressed with words, so I will refrain from doing so."

Thorin mouth curled up in a shrewd smile. "Acting prudently as a King always should."

Aragorn pulled back courteously and lowered his head. "A King who has no kingdom and not even the courage to claim the lady he loves openly. A King who hides in the golden gilded walls of this great city just to avoid Lord Elrond from chastising him for kissing his daughter in the shadows…in the dark…"

"These are shadows that hold so much light in them, it can blind you, young man." Thorin crossed his arms and smiled smugly towards his son.

Aragorn pressed his lips feeling wretched. "I can feel her light blinding my very soul, yet we are still hiding and no noble words of reassurance can change that fact."

Thorin's sharp eyes fell on the Ranger for a few moments. "It is not my place to discuss your reasons for hiding from the Elven realm. Nevertheless you must understand that my trivial excuses of wishing to have Isildur's heir all to myself for a few days won't last forever. Elrond will eventually come and you will have to follow him back to the Elven realm."

Aragorn's eyes filled with sadness. "I know."

Thorin sighed and gave him a vague nod. "You are still young and a youthful heart carries in it mindless passion, which may not choose to act wisely. This escapade between you and the Elven maiden might not end up well."

Aragorn's lips parted and his face paled. "It was not my idea to bring Lady Arwen here. She followed me on her own accord. I would have never asked her to act so recklessly…believe me."

Thorin shook his head. "You didn't seem to have a big problem with what she did though. Likewise you didn't actively try to return her to her father…In fact I remember you accepted my offer to remain in Erebor for a few days happily." He smirked.

Aragorn avoided Thorin's penetrating gaze with a wildly beating heart.

Thorin allowed him a few moments to settle down and then gave him a discreet nod. "It is a pleasure to shield the man who shielded my children, but my allegiance to the Elven Realm will not allow me to do so forever."

Aragorn nodded quietly. "I know."

"I have barely met you so I cannot pretend that I know you, but I do know what love is." Thorin's voice diminished.

Aragorn turned to him with a frown.

"I respect and protect love wherever I see it and I will do so for you too. Especially love between two such different people." Thorin said in a hushed tone.

"It's difficult for some to understand how a man and an Elf can…." Aragorn made an attempt to explain.

Thorin's raised his hand gracefully. "Are trying to explain that to me?" His smile was sly.

Aragorn's face opened up in a wide smile.

Thorin tilted his head and walked slowly towards Arwen who had stopped her horse and was telling something to Thrárin . "I know very well how it feels to fall head over heels for someone your kin rejects."

Aragorn followed the King readily.

"I know how it is to fight for that love against all your kingdom." -Thorin continued quietly, but after a brief moment of recollection he smiled- "I know what it is to sacrifice everything for the woman you adore."

Aragorn lowered his head and remained devotedly silent.

Thorin's eyes were pondering when they returned on Aragorn. "Your kin doesn't approve of this lady?"

Aragorn winced and the feeling of embarrassment flared in him. "More like the opposite."

Thorin tilted his head. "Elrond raised you like a son. I would have thought he'd be pleased by the match."

Aragorn exhaled defeated. "I am mortal. I will finally die. He doesn't want to see Arwen hurt by my loss."

Thorin raised his chin and caressed his bearded cheek contemplatively. "I can empathize with a concerned father who needs to shield his daughter from pain, despite the fact that no father can protect his child from all the harm of the world."

Aragorn looked at his stippled fingers. "I cannot pretend that I know how Lord Elrond is feeling, but I do know that I respect and love him deeply."

"The love you have for the man who raised you doesn't negate the fact that he is messing up right now." Thorin smirked.

Aragorn huffed and rubbed his forehead nervously. "I cannot even force myself to speak in this ill manner for him."

"Don't worry, I can. My alliance to Thranduil won't stop me from criticizing them. The Elves are making the same mistakes of judgment as my kin, despite the fact that they infinitely wiser and thousands of years older than us." Thorin's voice sounded amused.

Aragorn nodded. "I hope one day the next generations will come to accept love in all its forms without any ill judgment."

Thorin gifted him with an appreciative gaze. "That is something leaders like us can help establish by our own choices, Chieftain."

Aragorn's smile grew larger and he bowed respectfully. "Yes, Sir!"

Thorin tilted his head and looked at Lady Ith emerging from the forest of the River Running with her son in tow. They were carrying a large basket full of summer flowers.

Aragorn caressed his bottom lip thoughtfully as he was looking at Arwen and the Prince. "Your son asked me for a favor, which I cannot fulfill for him with a clear conscience. I will tell you, but I will beg you to keep this between us and not say to young Thrárin that I betrayed him."

Thorin turned at him and frowned. "What favor?"

"He asked me not to tell you about the Petty Dwarf who spoke to him and Prince Durin close to Dol Guldur." Aragorn rejoined.

Thorin brow clouded. "A Petty Dwarf you say…"

Aragorn shrugged. "I never saw anyone except from the kids, but the little one insists I shouldn't tell you, because you will arrest that Dwarf. He appears to be quite keen in protecting him and also in feeding him."

Thorin frowned and an amused smile formed on his lips. "Feeding him?"

Aragorn shrugged. "He insists that Dwarf was very hungry…"

Thorin's chin thrust up and he gazed musingly at his son. "He is a kind soul who doesn't yet know how dark the world can become. I'll do anything to protect him. Anything to protect all my children…." His voice dropped low.

Aragorn felt the hair on his nape standing on end. "I know Sir."

Thorin crossed his arms and gave him a curt nod. "Thank you for informing me, Chieftain."

Aragorn rejoined impatiently. "I thought you should know, even though I had it in mind to do a couple of passes through Mirkwood just to make sure."

"I will do a sweep of the area myself." Thorin added and looked at Arwen who was helping off little Thrárin.

When his feet touched the ground he opened his arms and run towards his friend "Brunar!" He yelled and both the boy and his mother turned.

"I can escort you in those sweeps if you wish, Sir." Aragorn bowed his head.

Thorin gazed at the young man for several moments. "Thank you, Chieftain. I might take you up on that offer."

Aragorn bowed deeply. "At your orders, Sir."

Thorin gave him an elegant nod and walked towards his baby boy who had grabbed poor Brunar by the shoulders and was tackling him to the ground rather successfully.

* * *

"Eilin…."

Eilin kept her eyes heavily steady on Thorin as he walked towards Durar's niece. What was that woman's name?...Íth …or something similar to that. She couldn't recall, mostly because every time they had met, Eilin was preoccupied with other things. She felt her throat growing dry and her stomach strangely bothered. Maybe she ate too much this morning…or maybe she ate too little. Maybe it really didn't matter.

"Eilin!" Rhiannon repeated.

Eilin's eyes followed Thorin's self-assured steps until he met the woman and they began a rather friendly discussion by the looks of it. Eilin's eyes left her husband and concentrated on Durar's niece. They rolled down the side of this woman's face and followed her blonde curls that were resting on her flat stomach. She swallowed heavily and felt her throat burning up. Her tongue came out to lick her upper lip and her brows creased distrustfully as she mused upon this lady for the whole duration of her conversation with the King even though Rhiannon kept trying to get her attention with no real affect. It was after a rather long time, that finally her best friend found the best way to make her listen.

"Eilin!" Rhiannon slapped her shoulder.

Eilin inhaled sharply and looked at her friend. "What the hell Rhiannon!?" She cried.

Rhiannon raised her brow. "I've been trying to get your attention all this time, but you looked like you have seen a bloody ghost."

Eilin tried to clear her thoughts and gave a last fleeting look at Lady Íth and her husband. "I suppose I must have seen one…" Eilin hummed hesitantly.

Rhiannon pointed at the twins who were on the boat trying to decide who was going to use which row. "They need their nets. Let's get on with them before lunchtime comes and Rhianaye decides to eat us instead of food. I didn't bring any snacks with me and they always become hungry by midday."

Eilin smiled widely at her friend and began the tedious work of sawing the nets. "Keep an eye on Thrárin too will you?"

Rhiannon followed Eilin's eyes and saw Lady Íth with the two boys and the King next to them. "Oh, he's with his new best friend… your husband is there too."

Eilin's brows clouded. "Yeah…"

"Why don't you go talk to them?" Rhiannon frowned.

"Thorin will come find me later, I am sure of it. Let him be for now." She whispered and turned her attention to finishing the nets while trying to forget the nasty tightness that still abounded in her stomach for some peculiar reason.

* * *

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	7. Disappointed in us

 

* * *

Thorin walked towards his baby boy who had seized poor Brunar by the shoulders and was tackling him to the ground rather successfully. The other boy was trying to get released, but Thrárin wouldn't have it.

Lady Íth was attempting to make them see reason. "Please stop. Prince Thrárin please let Brunar go…don't you see that his face is becoming all red?" She looked upset at the tangled mess of arms and legs.

Thrárin forced Brunar down again with an ease that worried his poor mother even more. "No, he has to win me in order for me to let him go. Daddy says so!"

Íth cupped her mouth and stifled a cry when she saw Thrárin grinding Brunar's cheek on the rough ground. "He seems to be hurting darling. Please I beg you let him go and I will take you both to the kitchens to make you some honey cakes!" She tried to lure them into abandoning their fight.

These words didn't deter Thrárin who kept on rolling and twisting above a groaning Brunar who was making a valiant effort to get rid of his friend. "No!" He rebuked.

Íth placed her palms over her eyes and tried to calm down her galloping heart. All her instincts were telling her to jump in and stop them, but a deep voice halted her before she ever had the chance to do so.

"Allow them to learn their weaknesses and their strengths through this harmless game, my Lady." Thorin said evenly.

Íth looked up sharply. "Sir, forgive me…but…but look at my poor son. He will have a bloody cheek if I don't stop them now." She turned her apprehensive eyes towards Brunar.

Thorin crossed his arms behind his back and scowled. "A young warrior Lord in the making like Brunar cannot worry about trifles such as these. Besides I don't see him having too much trouble."

Íth pointed at them. "The Prince is keeping him pinned down. Brunar cannot get released."

Thorin's mouth formed a discreet smile. "Allow him the opportunity to try and don't break his concentration with your edgy voice."

Íth inhaled and looked at him vexed beyond reason. "Can you please stop them or else I will do it!"

Thorin raised his brow at her. "Walk back with me and keep your voice down, can you do that?"

Íth faltered and looked at her son with dread.

Thorin didn't hesitate when he engaged her elbow. Then he walked away pulling her along with him. When they were at a safer distance he released her arm. "They are boys and boys acquire their strong points through clashes, not through negotiations. That is the prerogative of women, not ours."

Íth gazed fearfully at the boys and her jawline flexed. "What if he gets hurt?"

Thorin frowned. "Oh, he most certainly will get hurt. Not only once, but several times in his life…if he wants to become a warrior that is."

Íth's troubled eyes turned to the King. "A warrior you say..."

Thorin shrugged calmly. "Even if he doesn't choose the life of a warrior he will have to learn how to defend himself. Unless you want to keep him under locks forever. That is the only way to keep him safe from getting hurt in a world that is ruled by the sword, the arrow and the axe, my Lady."

Íth averted her eyes with a deep frown.

"If you want to give him the opportunity to live outside the boundaries of your protection, then you must allow him to learn through trial and error. This precious knowledge hails from failures, like this one." Thorin gestured towards the ongoing fight with his head.

"Even though he is the only one I have left in my life and I would do anything not to see him hurt?" Ith's eyes welled.

Thorin stare was intense. "You think I want my children to get hurt?"

Íth shook her head quickly. "No, Sir of course not."

"The world out there is rough and ready to eat them up alive. We have two choices. Either shield them from the monsters forever or get them ready to eat up the world instead. Which one would you choose?" Thorin continued with a composure Lady Íth envied.

She looked at her hands, which became tight fists. It took her several moments to speak. "I wish to get him ready for the world."

Thorin's head bobbed softly. "Then allow him to test his strengths and get hurt in the process."

Íth cupped her mouth and looked at the boys again. She had to force herself in order to remain next to the King and not jump in the middle of the fight and break them up. Brunar groaned, moaned, twisted his body under Thrárin's tight grip and just when their parents expected this to be over soon with Thrárin as the conqueror, Íth's son surprised all of them.

With a sudden burst of energy he kicked Thrárin in the stomach, threw him to the ground and came on top of him victoriously. "Yeah! Get that you little midget!" he cried enthusiastically. Even though Íth's heart erupted with pride and overflowed with relief, her eyes fell anxiously at the King expecting him to be mad that her son was now tackling the Prince so crudely. Instead she was surprised to see him completely unaffected.

Thorin's low hum drummed through Íth's spine. "Hmm, I think your son has got a lot of potential."

Íth felt her lips curling up in a content smile. "He managed to turn this over, didn't he?" She sounded genially amazed.

Thorin's brow flicked critically. "Even though he was in a seriously disadvantageous position he managed to bring Thrárin down. Very good."

Íth's eyes betrayed insecurity. "Maybe we should stop them now, before the Prince gets hurt?"

Thorin's azure eyes turned to her calmly. "Thrárin challenged your son and now he is getting what he deserves. We don't intervene unless they stop themselves."

Íth closed her eyes and felt her mouth curling up in a faded smile. "I cannot believe how cool you seem to be through all this."

Thorin shrugged casually. "I was raised a warrior and I do the same to my kids. This means nothing to me. It is just an ordinary game taking place in a rather ordinary day."

Íth rubbed her forehead feeling dreadfully embarrassed for over-reacting before. "If you hadn't come, I would have stopped them."

"I know." Came the soft reply.

Íth's lips turned down regretfully and it took her several moments to voice her innermost thoughts. "When my husband was alive he used to train Brunar. After he was gone…I…I mean…my son had the opportunity to train with others, but I …."

Thorin looked at her silently.

"I didn't allow him." She spoke with a hushed tone.

He looked at the boys who stopped their fight and were now helping each other up. "I understand."

Íth felt the need to elaborate even though it wasn't asked. "It is not that I didn't wish for my son to learn the art of war, but after the death of his father I didn't have the fortitude to see him hurt….I don't know if I am making any sense to you."

Thorin's eyes were reflective. "You are."

Íth stippled her fingers in front of her skirt and scowled at the ground. "The way I reacted today to this little skirmish between them…. you must think that I am the personalization of ridiculousness."

The hairpin on the side of Thorin's mouth curled up. "I don't think so. You are merely protective, which is quite understandable especially in view of your husband's loss. You are not doing anything I don't imagine my wife doing if I was gone."

Íth's smile was tentative. "My father and my uncle raised me as a warrior Sir. I know how to wield a sword and I am a good archer. I have defended the lands of my uncle and I have stood by my father's side on several occasions without fear. Still seeing my son hurt makes me want to lash out in order to protect him. I don't want to see him in the place of my father or my uncle facing foes with sword in hand ready to die for his kin."

He gave her a lopsided smile of understanding. "I don't want to see my boys in danger either. Still I cannot keep them locked up forever, can I?"

She smiled at her palms and shook her head. "No."

"So you are a fierce dwarrowdam who can wield a sword. Hence the warrior braid?" Thorin raised his brow.

She looked at his stunning eyes briefly, but didn't dare keep them because their intensity made her quiver. "Yes, my Lord."

Thorin sighed and turned his attention to the kids. "Even though you may have fought like a man in the past, your current fear of death is keeping your son from discovering himself. Don't do that to him. Allow him to fail, to get hurt, to grow and improve like all the other boys."

Íth inhaled deeply and felt her heart skirting. "You sound exactly like my husband."

Thorin tilted his head. "I sound exactly like every father who'd like to see their son come to their own."

Íth averted her eyes and nodded silently.

"He clearly has a fire in his heart that needs the proper guidance. I say the same words to my wife when she worries about our sons. I understand the pain of your loss, but don't allow that to take over the upbringing of your boy. It will be such a shame." Thorin continued calmly.

Íth raised her grey eyes to him and felt them welling with unbidden tears. "Losing a beloved is so painful my Lord... "

Thorin's brow flicked briefly and his lip formed a very bitter smile. "I know that pain well ..."

Íth's brows creased in confusion.

He gazed at her fleetingly. "Don't look so bewildered."

Íth shook her head. "Forgive me Sir, I didn't meant to appear so shocked about something so..." She just couldn't find the proper words.

Thorin spoke over her calmly. "...unexpected."

Íth inhaled deeply and her eyes penetrated him for several thoughtful moments before she offered him a timid smile. "Unexpected indeed. Let me express my condolences to you Sir."

Thorin sighed deeply. "It matter not as it was a long time ago. I just mentioned it so you can understand how easy it is for me to empathize with the pain of our loss, especially at the way it happened." -He paused and a dark shadow covered his brow, which Íth missed- "I must admit that you have a very difficult task ahead of you. Raising your son alone cannot be easy."

Íth looked Thrárin who was pushing Brunar around playfully and felt a tear rolling down her cheek. "It is unimaginably hard, especially in a world that is made by men and belongs to them."

Thorin turned to her with a scowl. "Our kin might be dominated by men, but our women are treated like Queens. Everything we do is for them and for our children. This world maybe made by men, but in reality it belongs to you, doesn't it? We are only here to serve and protect you."

Íth's mouth formed an embarrassed smile and her cheeks blushed. "I never thought about it this way, but you are right your Majesty. I sounded so ungrateful..."

"No...of course not. I just put things back into perspective for you. I am doing the same thing for my beloved wife now and again as she tends to forget also." He smiled back at her.

Íth inhaled deeply and looked at the children who were now chasing each other as their giggles resounded all around meadow. "She forgets too?"

Thorin's brow shadowed and his eyes twitched for a brief moment before concentrating on Thrárin. "Sometimes yes…it's probably a female thing to forget what is most important at times, right?"

Íth remained thoughtfully silent for a long time and when she finally spoke again, Thorin almost jumped out of his skin as his thoughts had scattered to the four winds after that last sentence about Eilin. "It's a fault that belongs to all of us despite gender my Lord."

Thorin crossed his arms and decided to keep quiet after that unexpected slip of the tongue.

It was several moments later that Íth decided to speak again. "You know raising a son without a father is especially difficult since I cannot give my boy the male archetype he needs in order to develop properly. Add to that the grief and fear he feels from the loss of his father and there you have it. You can see where all his reserve has derived from."

Thorin's mouth formed a ghostly smile. "Well, apparently you haven't done such a bad job with him. He may have been hesitant to get involved at first, but he turned the fight around to his advantage rather adequately."

Íth puffed up proudly. "That's true, isn't it?"

Thorin threw her a watchful glance and his smile brightened. "You are just realizing his potential..."

Íth looked at him for a few silent moments and then her countenance seemed to open up. "Yes...I think so."

Thorin gestured at them. "Look at how happy they seem."

Íth nodded quickly. "Despite their scratches and bruises."

"Wounds are necessary badges of honor. Every man learns that from a very young age." Thorin rejoined pensively.

Íth's timid eyes lifted up to his face and explored the large scar on the King's forehead that had torn his right eyebrow in two. "I know, Sir."

Thorin nodded towards the boys who rushed to their parents. "Allow me to offer you this quick advice. Tend to his wounds, but don't make him feel guilty for engaging in this fight. Make him feel proud he won."

Íth's eyes seared in his. "I will…." –She hesitated- "Thank you."

Thorin's brows creased in confusion. "What about?"

Íth swallowed heavily. "You may have not realized it, but you kept me from falling apart this morning."

Thorin's mouth formed a calm smile. "Nonsense. I did nothing."

Íth shook her head quickly. "If you hadn't shown up, I would have lost it…"

Thorin's azure eyes turned to her inquisitively and remained on hers until Brunar fell in her arms with a cry of victory. "I did it mom! Did you see me?! I did it!"

"I know my love, you made me very proud. Winning over this mighty Prince of Erebor! Amazing!" Íth said and searched Thorin's face for the nod of approval which came quickly.

Thorin came down to one knee and grasped Thrárin's shoulder. "Are you okay son?"

Thrárin was pouting. "He is stronger than I thought."

Thorin smirked. "So what? Does your failure make your friendship for him weaker?"

Brunar looked at Thrárin fearfully. "Sorry I won. I don't want to lose you as a friend."

Thrárin shook his head and allowed his father to clear his hair from his scratched cheek. "No, I like what we did. Can we do it again so I can win you next time?"

Thorin turned playfully at Íth and offered her a dazzling smile. "So…can they?"

She remained looking at him mesmerized for several moments before nodding. "Sure they can."

"Good." Thorin offered her a wink and then turned his attention to Thrárin without noticing Íth's smile melting in a gaze towards him that looked absolutely spellbound. "Now we must go and wash your face before I take you back to mom. I don't want her to see you all bloody, okay?"

Thrárin stretched and nodded eagerly, not too preoccupied with his bruises and cuts. "Can I go and play with Brunar before we go to mommy?"

Thorin's brows wavered with indecisiveness and he looked at Íth who quickly avoided his eyes and felt her cheeks catching fire. "Do you have anything to do right now?"

Íth shook her head and started straightening the clothes of Brunar meticulously with the intention of avoiding the King's eyes completely. "No, Sir." Her voice was hushed.

"Then maybe you can escort the boys in their play?" Thorin tried to see her eyes, but she kept them lowered.

It took her several moments to collect herself enough in order to reply without hearing her voice breaking. "Of course I can, Sir."

Thorin frowned in momentary confusion at this sudden cold wave from her. "I don't want to sound impolite, but I have to leave…I should have been in the Throne room ages ago."

Íth inhaled sharply and looked up. She forced herself to smile, even though her eyes only engaged his for a brief moment before finding solace in the ground. "Of course Sir, forgive my silliness. I have kept you from your obligations way too long. Go and I will take care of these crazy harpies."

Brunar scowled. "I am not a harpy mom!" He cried.

Íth smiled at him and caressed his cheek. "Of course you aren't darling."

Thorin gave Thrárin a kiss on his forehead and offered her a lopsided smile she missed. "I am grateful for this."

Íth's teeth clenched and she looked up with great difficulty. "It will be an honor for me, Sir. When they finish I will return the little Prince to the Queen."

Thorin tilted his head elegantly. "Very well, I should be going."

Íth raised her hand to stop him. "Please Sir before you go. Allow me to show you my gratitude for today in some manner."

Thorin frowned. "That is not necessary, I assure you."

Íth spoke hastily, before she lost her courage. "You truly helped me overcome a great difficulty Sir. I would like to offer something back to you."

Thorin shook his head. "I need nothing honestly, but one can never know. You might be able to help me with some unforeseen difficulty someday too, right?"

Íth felt her heart skipping a beat and smiled to the ground. "I hope so."

Thorin's face brightened up with a serene smile. "Good morning my Lady."

Íth curtsied deeply and kept her eyes away from his. "Good morning your Majesty."

Thorin bowed his head elegantly and after giving one last look at Thrárin who was chasing Brunar he started walking back to Erebor without noticing that someone else had been keeping a close eye to his interaction with Lady Íth.

* * *

The same evening after Eilin had fallen asleep with a book cradled on her lap, on Thorin's favorite armchair and the children were safely tucked in their beds, Thorin found himself walking wearily down the silent corridor. The sentinels on the flanks of the main archway that led to the royal quarters didn't salute him, because there had been given strict orders to remain silent after a certain hour so as not to disturb the kids. His head was askew, a true depiction of how drained he felt from this demanding day which was full of meetings, barrack inspections, a ton of scrolls to go through and even more to sign and study. His day had been so full that after leaving Thrárin with Lady Íth he didn't get to see anyone else from his family.

He tiptoed close to the kids bedroom and placed his hand on the handle. He leaned his head on the door panel and closed his eyes. There was no sound coming from within so he pushed it open quietly and entered the dark room. They were all sleeping quietly. He made his usual rounds in order to check on them starting by Rhianaye who was hidden under her quilt up to her ears. He placed his palm on her forehead and she felt cool. Her breathing was soft and easy. He leaned down and gifted her forehead with a gentle kiss. Then he shadowed over Durin who was sleeping sprawled with the quilt trapped between his legs. Thorin smiled and untangled it gently, making sure his ferocious older son didn't wake up. He tucked him in, but Durin wouldn't have it. He groaned bothered and turned on his side bringing his leg over the quilt again. Thorin pressed his lips and shook his head vexed. He covered Durin up again and when he made sure his son was breathing heavily once more he kissed his temple. Then he walked carefully to Thrárin's bed and got ready to do the same, but he was welcomed with a pair of the prettiest blue eyes.

"Hi daddy." Thrárin whispered.

Thorin smiled and came down to one knee next to him. He cupped Thrárin's cheek. "Hey big guy, why are you still awake?"

Thrárin's lip pouted. "Couldn't sleep."

"Why so?"

"I kept thinking about your porridge." Thrárin said.

Thorin's face acquired a surprised expression. "Are you hungry?"

Thrárin shook his head, hesitated and then nodded. "Not now daddy, but can you make me some for tomorrow?"

Thorin caressed his red curls away from his freckled nose. "Sure my love. First thing in the morning I will have it ready for you, okay?"

Thrárin's face animated up with a beautiful smile. "Thanks daddy, but can you make a lot of it?!"

Thorin frowned feeling amused. "Like enough for all your siblings and your mom?"

Thrárin rolled his eyes around thinking. "Uhm, more…"

Thorin's mouth formed a stunning smile. "Are you that hungry my little rascal?"

Thrárin munched his bottom lip and then giggled. "I will be that hungry tomorrow! I promise!"

Thorin pulled Thrárin's hand and kissed it gently. "Then I promise to make enough porridge to feed an army. Will that do for you?"

Thrárin nodded eagerly. "Yeah! Enough porridge to feed everyone who is hungry!"

Thorin's lips formed a sweet lopsided smile. "Now can you try to get some sleep, before we manage to wake up everyone?"

Thrárin closed his eyes and crossed his arms above his chest. "Yes, daddy."

Thorin laughed lightly and kissed his forehead. "Good night my love."

"Nighty night!" Thrárin whispered and peeped at his father quickly before closing his eyes again.

Thorin smiled at his boy and then walked quietly at the door that led to his rooms. He slid it open, passed through and then made sure it remained slightly ajar so they could hear the children if they needed something during the night. He took off his velvet vest and got ready to undress in order to join Eilin in bed, happy that after several days he would be able to stretch properly. He turned around and there he froze with his vest at hand.

A faded smiled brightened up his countenance as he revered at Eilin resting with a stillness that felt so familiar. As a couple after the birth of the twins they always seemed to be in overdrive. He was torn between his family and the Kingdom and she was trying to give the best of herself to the twins and subsequently to Thrárin. When they were not running after the children, they were pulled every which way by their royal obligations and when they found a chance to calm down they usually passed out in bed from exhaustion. Only to wake up the next morning in order to repeat the process. They rarely if ever had a quiet moment. As for their intimate ones, they were even more hastened and rare. Still Thorin didn't have a problem with all that.

He was aware that after children life would never be just Eilin and him. He was certain that their priorities would shift and remain uneven for the rest of their lives. He knew they wouldn't be able to have all those passionately intense moments whenever they wished. They couldn't just up and go on a trip upon a whim. They couldn't hide from the world and their obligations just in order to get lost into each other….still….it was alright. His love for Eilin was so much more than all of that combined. His very soul was entwined with hers. Those frivolous setbacks and the inevitable fatigue of having three children meant little to him in view of the devoted affection he felt for his woman, which hadn't dithered a single moment since he met her.

If someone asked him what was the only thing that could pull him apart concerning his marriage, he would answer without second thoughts it was their arguments about the kids, but above all their constant bickering about her father. Those were the only things that were worrying him lately. The moments that made him feel like he was slowly losing the strong connection he had always treasured with Eilin. Maybe he was making too big a deal out of this as Dis had already told him. Couples fought over their children and over family issues. They weren't the first ones to lose the magic of those first years were everything was just their love for each other.

Dis explained that she had lost that magic with her husband after the birth of Fili and that arguments started settling in regularly especially when their kids were too young. Still her love and devotion never faded away. He believed his sister with all his might…nevertheless he was not sure he was able to stop worrying. He was deeply troubled when he felt Eilin slipping away from his fingers during another upsetting visit from a candidate who was there to break her heart with his lies. At those moments Eilin became cold and distant, a mere shadow of her true self and it was impossible for Thorin to approach her, which ultimately made him pull away from her, feeling inadequate for her anymore.

Maybe he was making a big deal out of it….

Maybe some days were simply getting to him more than others….

Maybe he was reminiscing the perfection of the old days and he was feeling sad they couldn't share these feelings anymore….

…..So standing there, quietly observing Eilin as she slept on her armchair felt as if he had stepped to another timeline. When their children hadn't been born yet and when her lineage was a mere shadow at the back of their minds and not a huge monster chasing her sanity every single day and night. She had always slept so serenely when he was playing music for her back in those days, looking so carefree and calm and he wanted to cherish this moment for everything it had to give him. His heart skirted and suddenly came alive, sending a shudder of pleasure through his veins as the memories of those days coursed through his mind, making him very aware of how much him and her have lost during all these years…

….but also how much they have gained. His eyes looked at the half opened door of the kids bedroom and he remembered Thrárin begging him to make enough porridge to feed the whole of Erebor tomorrow. His lips upturned in a sweet smile and his heart filled up with so much love it felt it was going to burst.

He placed his vest gently on the recliner and took off his boots as he didn't want to wake Eilin up with his heavy footsteps. He walked silently back to the armchair and leaned over her. When his hand cupped hers, he frowned at how frozen she felt. He touched her forehead gently and after making sure she was not feverish he decided that she was too cold to remain there just in order to appease his hunger for those old, more intimate days. He had to tuck her in bed and to make sure she got warmer. He slid his arms around her shoulders and under her knees and picked her up easily. The book that was open on her lap slid and fell to the floor.

She stirred in his arms, her hand moved smoothly up his chest and cupped his neck. She pulled her face up until her lips warmed his skin and his spine curled inwards at this caring touch. "Hi, handsome." Her breath send shivers chasing after his skin.

His lips smoothed upon her forehead and gave it a gentle peck. "Hi, beautiful." He whispered.

She wrapped both arms around his shoulders and huddled at the hollow of his neck. "Don't take me to the bed."

He frowned and caressed her back. "Why not? You are frozen."

"Can we sit together in the armchair, like we did back in the old days?" Her hushed voice sounded so reflective, his heart twitched painfully.

He sighed deeply and walked back to the armchair. He sat with her in his arms and pulled the forgotten quilt that was on its arm, above both of them. He tucked her in securely and kissed her forehead. "Is that better?"

Her body instantly relished the heat that emanated from his and got trapped under the quilt, radiating upon her frozen and stiff members. She shivered gratefully. "Yes…"

His large palm traced her spine carefully. "How was your day?" He asked quietly.

"Fine…" She cringed and snugged against him.

"Just fine?"

She took in a deep breath. "I woke up to a nasty nightmare of the cottage again. We visited the river with the twins and fixed the nets between the two shores and left them there all night to catch fish for tomorrow's lunch. We went on a rather long walk close to the borders of Mirkwood and I had to listen to Durin yammering constantly about the whispers that no one else could hear, but him. We came home, fixed lunch, ate it without you" –Thorin felt the reproach- "took the children to the star fountains with Dis and Lis joined in. I left the kids with them and then passed the remaining afternoon accepting visits."

He frowned and his palm smoothed down her side in a comforting and gentle touch she yearned to feel. "What kind of whispers was Durin hearing?"

She raised her brows and shook her head. "You tell me. I have no idea. I couldn't hear anything. Maybe you could ask him, these things seem to run on your side of the family. Premonitions, intuition, bloody whispers."

He heard the reprimand in her voice and he tried to lighten up the mood. "Well, I haven't heard any whispers for a long time."

Her mouth formed a faded smile. "Ask him, maybe you will be able to understand what he was trying to explain to me better."

He sighed calmly. "I will. Well, you guys seemed to have had a busy day then…."

"Not too busy to see you though…we missed you during lunch and during dinner..." There was another thrash of scolding in that sentence and he felt it instantly.

"My day was not easy either. Forgive me for missing out on you." He rejoined with a hushed tone.

She hesitated for a moment. "Did you even eat the food I send up to your office?"

He shook his head. "Not until much later. I was at the barracks until afternoon and then at the armory. I went to the office late at night."

She exhaled and leaned her head on his chest. "Your day sounds hard too."

"We both had it hard today my dove."

Her head bobbed quietly. "Maybe we should both go to bed. Get some sleep, while we can…."

He pressed his lips and closed his eyes. "I prefer to sit like this with you. We haven't done this in a long time. Besides sleep is overrated."

A ghostly smile appeared on her mouth and her palm came up to cup his jawline. "Alright my lifeline…."

His brows furrowed. "What?"

She passed her arm under his armpit and clutched his back firmly. "Have I ever told you that you are my lifeline?"

He exhaled and kissed her forehead. "I don't think so….."

She opened her eyes and looked at the smooth fabric of his tunic musingly for several moments. "If you ever stop keeping me grounded to earth I will scatter…everything on me will tear to threads of nothingness."

He frowned and pulled her in possessively. "What are these words now?"

She felt his touch as comforting and reassuring as ever and cherished it. "I wanted to tell them to you since this morning, but I never got a chance…you see you were too busy…"

Thorin felt the slight change in her tone and his brows creased. "Why did that sound like another half hidden reproach, which followed a lovely compliment and why am I feeling so confused by you right now?"

A pondering hum left Eilin's lips and she resettled herself on his lap so her lips were ghosting a thick vein on the side of his neck. She kissed it gently. "Because I am chastising you. Why didn't you come find me today to ask me how I am?"

He frowned, but his eyes remained closed as his body relished the smoothness of her lips. "I was in over my head Eilin…What is all this tonight? It is not as if we hadn't done this before…We have gone all day without meeting at all."

"Today I needed to talk to you. I wanted you so much…" Her whisper came out broken and her mouth opened up to allow her lips to latch on his prickly skin.

His fingers tensed on her shoulders. "If you needed me so much then why didn't you come find me, like you always do?" He sounded as confused as he felt. This sudden shift of energy from her was making him go haywire.

She placed her palms on his chest and pushed herself up slowly. She threw a leg over him and settled on his lap snugly. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she leaned down until their foreheads were touching. "I woke up to a blood curdling nightmare and I needed to you to find me, to ask me how I felt …."

He opened his eyes and looked at her, feeling baffled. "How was I supposed to know about your nightmare? Had I known I would have come to you, believe me."

Eilin paused and her brows came together. Her nose butted his and her lips trapped his half open mouth with a gentleness that made him gasp. "Would you have come indeed?

"What kind of question is that?" His hands curled around her biceps, keeping her there.

Eilin released a broken exhalation on his lips and closed her eyes. "I am just asking…" She whispered and captured his bottom lip between hers, nibbling it softly.

He allowed her to taste him for several moments, feeling her lips waking him up slowly, before pulling back gently. "Eilin, am I being sexually pursued at this moment or accused about something?"

"Both…" she hissed and her hot lips lingered above his for several tense moments. He leaned his head back and allowed her to fondle his mouth with her gentle touch. The first kisses were mellow and soft allowing him to reciprocate, but the more she kissed him the more demanding she became until finally she cupped his face keeping him to her and her tongue slithered out to demand entrance. He didn't hesitate to come out to meet her in a confused exploration that sparked his body with an instant fire that burned through his core.

His response to his wife remained as ardent as it had always been, yet this time her tongue swirled too roughly around his and her teeth became too demanding and downright painful. Her nails were too sharp on his skin, and her thighs too suffocating. He was becoming highly aroused, but also tensely chaotic, as if his body couldn't figure out a way to translate the messages she was giving him. When her fingers tunneled through his hair and pulled him aggressively on her neck, he frowned but obliged by opening his mouth and giving her a lascivious love bite that made her body quiver. When her other hand twisted painfully on his nape, he gasped and pulled back in protest. He lowered his pace, forced his hands to become softer and attempted to spoil her skin with gentle kisses. He was trying to relate to her that he was all for their intimacy, but he wanted to go slower. When her fingernails turned downwards and broke through his skin, he pulled back with a hiss of pain. He looked up, panting for breath with a deep scowl framing his beautiful eyes. "Eilin wait…"

She drew her nails away from his nape, leaving him with a tingling sensation that burned. She whacked his chest angrily. "What?!"

He reached out and curled his fingers around her wrists. "I want you, but not this way."

She drew her hands free and her eyes spewed fire at him. "You are always saying how much you have missed me and right when I decide to become intimate you stop me. I cannot get a footing with you!"

He looked apprehensively above his shoulder at the half open door to the kid's bedroom. "Not with that door open and certainly not with you sexually attacking me after borderline chastising me back there." He hissed, making a huge effort to keep his voice down.

Her shoulders slouched and she looked at her hands. "When did we lose the passion we always shared for each other, tell me…" Her voice sounded defeated.

Thorin's heavy arms came around her body and drew her in. She didn't resist. "Whoever told you that I lost my passion for you?"

Eilin closed her eyes. "The fact that you just pushed me away. What more do I need in order to know?"

He closed his eyes too and cupped the back of her head until he could cradle her under his chin protectively. "Did you even ask if I was in the mood for love or did you take it for granted?" He asked after a few moments.

Eilin frowned rather annoyed. "Why should you be against it? Don't you want me anymore?"

"No, not like this. Not a breath away from our kids. I am spent tonight. I come home to see you sleeping like an angel and I yearn to cuddle with you. Instead of allowing us a few moments of peace you are either prepared for another fight over your nightmares or for rough love. Did you even ask about my day?"

Her lips curled down and she pushed him away. She got down and started pacing in front of the fireplace, vexed. "Ask you about your day? Why? Did you ask me about my damned nightmare? Did you take some time off your _endless obligations_ " –she colored those words with sarcasm- "to come ask me how I slept perchance?"

Thorin glared at her, but remained silent.

"Why should I ask you about your day then? I tried to get intimate with you. I tried to show you how much I need you right now and you pushed me away!" She snapped.

Thorin raised his hands at her. "First of all I didn't push you away. I simply told you to wait in order to take it more slowly. I felt your negative energy. I heard the reproaches from the first moment and I knew this was going to end up in another fight...another brawl practically over nothing!"

Eilin turned around sharply and glared at him. "My bloody nightmares might be insignificant to you, but not to me Thorin!"

He stood up and got into her face within two steps. "Insignificant? I have been trying to help you get over them ever since I met you..."

Eilin rolled her eyes and flayed her arms. "Oh, sorry for exhausting you with my darkness."

His fingers grabbed her wrists and pulled her close to him. "Stop that immediately!"

"Stop what!" She cried.

"Stop trying to twist my every word to make me sound like a damned inconsiderate jerk!" he rebuked.

"What do you want Thorin?!" She yelled at him and tried to release her arms.

He did so and she pulled back panting. He cupped his forehead and counted inwards in order to calm down his anger. When he felt partly ready to face her again he turned around, but his eyes were hard. "You know why I didn't stay for a drink with you the other night?"

Eilin wiped a tear away angrily and thrust her chin at him. "Why?"

"I knew we would end up fighting again..." -he spat and then gazed at the children's bedroom. He felt his stomach dropping and cringed painfully. He cursed under his breath and closed the door gently- "And now we are probably going to wake them up with another disagreement. That's great…."

Eilin averted her eyes and rubbed her forehead. "I was not predisposed that day to fight with you and neither was I today. I showed you what I wanted today pretty clearly!"

Thorin shook his head and his jawline clenched. "No, tonight you wanted to accuse me of indifference from the get go. You wanted to vent your anger towards me in some manner...whatever manner that maybe, even rough love... What did I do to invoke anger from you this evening?"

Eilin shook her head and her red curls covered her sweaty brow. "I wanted you to ask me about my nightmare and comfort my fears..."

Thorin threw his hands in the air. "Haven't I done that a million times before?..."

Eilin halted and looked at him with wounded eyes.

"Countless times I caressed you as you emptied all your fears in my arms. I heard about the nightmares of the cottage unwearyingly and tried to reassure you again and again...nights upon nights...and days upon days. I tried to offer consolation, to make you feel safe, to make you forget, to heal you...still what did I manage after all this time?" Thorin hurled at her.

Eilin wiped away more tears and sniffled, but didn't answer.

"What did I manage!?" He hissed.

She jerked back and looked at him with wide eyes.

Thorin clenched his fists. "Nothing...absolutely nothing..." His voice suddenly diminished like a flame that went out…and that felt even more terrifying than any anger Eilin had experienced up till then.

She didn't know what to tell him.

"I cannot help you...I feel bloody useless. I cannot heal you, I cannot make you forget, I cannot console you and this is eating us up, don't you see?" Thorin's eyes broke.

She made an attempt to approach him. "Don't say that, you are my lifeline."

"Your lifeline to what Eilin? Real life or the world of dreams? Because sometimes I don't know were you are residing anymore...Are you here with us or in that damned cottage with your father..." Thorin's voice was truly spent at that moment.

Eilin took a few steps closer to him and he didn't move. "I don't want to do this to you..." She tried.

"Yet you are doing it to me, but worst of all you are doing it to yourself! You are pulling yourself apart and throwing your torn pieces to the wind...and I cannot help you. You are not allowing me to help you. These damned nightmares set you back time and time again and I feel like I am losing you..." He paused and inhaled deeply, feeling his eyes overflowing with tears.

Eilin threw herself on him in mad desperation. "No! This isn't happening to us...it isn't! You are just tired and I overburdened you with this dream again. I shouldn't have...please don't talk like this..."

Thorin's arms came greedily around her and he buried his head on her hollow of her neck. "I know how much this is hurting you, my Eilin. I know how much it is destroying you and I despair at my inability to help you. You are drifting away from me and I cannot help you."

Eilin kissed his bearded cheek and pressed her teary eyes on his temple. "No my love I am not. I am always here, loving you. I just need time to get through this...I need time to make the nightmares stop."

Thorin exhaled hard and his hot breath send goosebumps chasing her skin. "How can they ever stop unless you put a stop on them yourself."

Eilin closed her eyes and gritted her teeth. Her arms squeezed him tight and he reciprocated. "Don't you think I wish that myself? Don't you know that I walk out of our rooms every morning apprehensive that another crook will come declaring he is my father? Don't you think I know that I am the only one who can fix myself?"

Thorin closed his eyes and enfolded her closer. "I told you that no one will ever pass to you anymore. The orders have been given."

"Still..."Eilin whispered.

He squeezed his eyes tight. "Still if you don't give this a closure yourself, it will haunt us forever."

"How...?" She muttered lost.

"Let me actively search for him..."

Eilin drew away quickly and turned her back at him. "No!" She raised her hand.

His fingers wrapped around her wrist and pulled her back. "Listen to me Eilin. This is breaking us apart. I need your help. I cannot do this alone, please."

Eilin shook her head and her eyes were full of terror. "I will do anything, but that Thorin. I will not search for him. I will not subject myself willingly to seeing him again and hearing his petty explanations about what happened. I won't destroy the silly hope I have that he might still be alive, by learning that he is probably dead."

Thorin shook his head and his hand landed on her shoulder, pressing it firmly. "Are you even listening to yourself? You are both hoping to see him dead and alive at the same time."

Eilin turned around and gazed at him intensely. "Exactly! This is driving me insane and no matter how protected you think I am behind the golden doors of Erebor, no amount of soldiers will ever stop my nightmares."

Thorin felt his eyes welling again. "And no amount of love from me..as it seems."

Eilin's demeanour took a plunge and she reached up to cup his hand. "No...don't ever say that. Your love is my lifeline..you don't understand Thorin..."

He raised his brow. "I understand that I cannot help you."

Eilin's heart broke into a thousand pieces. "Thorin I love you..." She whispered.

He pulled her in and she snuggled under his chin, closing her eyes. His heavy arms came around her shoulders and he felt her body letting go of something. "I cannot fight with you anymore for this Eilin. I cannot help you get through it and you know what is the worst part of it all?"

Eilin's arms slithered under his armpits and grasped his shoulder blades in near desperation. "What?" She squeezed her eyes tight, fearing his answer.

"That even though I should be here offering to help you...I am here asking for your help instead." He whispered defeated.

Eilin closed her eyes and released a broken sigh. "I know..."

Thorin's lips lingered close to her temple for a few moments before offering it a gentle peck that made Eilin shudder. He huffed and tunneled his hand through her hair. "Maybe I should have allowed you to make love to me before. We would have blown off some steam and it would have been easier than this mess, right?" He whispered in her ear.

She nodded fiercely and clutched him in despair. "Yes, you should have."

His large warm palm burrowed under her fur vest and rubbed her back soothingly. "Yet we don't need it easy baby girl, do we?"

She shook her head with the same fervor. "No."

"We need to solve this mess and that won't be easy..." Thorin whispered and gave a gentle kiss on the soft skin of her neck.

She shuddered. "How...I don't know how to do that."

Thorin closed his eyes. "I don't know either."

She cuddled in his arms and trembled from her head to toes. This argument had drained her emotionally, but she didn't want anything more than to be in his arms forever.

He felt it and drew her in protectively. "You are shivering."

She nodded. "I am cold." Her teeth were clattering.

He looked at the empty fireplace. "You want me to light it up?"

She shook her head. "No, I just want to get in bed."

"Come on...I think we both have had enough for today." -He said quietly and led her there. He helped her off her vest and tucked her in. Then he sat at the side of the bed and looked down at her lovingly- "Better?"

Her hand sneaked out of the quilt and cupped his cheek. "Won't you get in with me?"

He released an exhausted sigh and pulled back some rebellious red locks that were hiding her neck. "Thrárin asked me for enough porridge to feed a brigade tomorrow. I wanted to go down and boil some chicken so I can have the broth ready for the morning."

Eilin's eyes fled searchingly at his face. "Tell Rhiannon to do it."

Thorin shook his head and his eyes smiled sadly at her. "He asked it from me...I cannot let him down like this."

Eilin's lips turned down. "Are you trying to avoid me because of what happened tonight?"

His brow clouded and he leaned down until his mouth ghosted upon her trembling lips. "I am just trying to be a good dad..." -He whispered and gave her a gentle peck- "And a good husband."

Eilin's mouth formed a ghostly smile and kissed him gently. "You are both..."

He humphed. "I might be succeeding more in one rather than the other, baby girl."

Eilin's brow furrowed. "No Thorin...that is so far away from the truth."

Thorin's gaze felt penetrative. "Is it though?" He let the thought linger.

Eilin pulled him in a tight hug that he reciprocated quickly. His hot breath scorched the softness of her neck as he turned and gave her several open mouth kisses that raised the hair all over her body. Her fingers tunneled through his mane. "Will you be late?"

"No..." came the hushed reply.

"Are you mad at me?" Her eyes watered.

The shadow on his brow extended to his eyes. "Not, just disappointed at us..."

Eilin closed her eyes and her fingers pressed his jawline possessively. "Me too, but please remember...you are my lifeline..." She added after several silent moments were tears cascaded down her cheeks.

He kissed her lips firmly. "And you are my whole life...you and the kids."

She nodded softly. "Please remain until I fall asleep."

He leaned down next to her and pulled her in close to his heart. Then his lips whispered closed to her ear. "Sleep, I shall remain guard."

The consoling words of ultimate safety that he always murmured in her ear when she was in distress ever since they met, were enough to make her exhale a whole bout of unease and close her eyes. Sleep came to her quickly, but the same abandon didn't extend to her husband.

* * *

"Get away from the door Rhianaye." Durin's voice was hushed and infinitely sad.

Rhianaye looked back at him. "They were fighting again..."

Durin turned around and gazed at the full moon that was visible from the small gap in the curtains. "They stopped now, come away from the door..."

"Why were they fighting again Durin?" Rhianaye's voice was barely heard. She tiptoed to his bed and sat next to him.

He looked at her and crossed his arms above his stomach. Then his eyes returned to the moon. "Adults have a way of complicating everything."

Rhianaye burrowed under his quilt and curled up into a ball next to him. "I know."

Durin's clear brow creased and he felt mild pain from his scar. "I don't want to become an adult."

Rhianaye trapped her hand under her cheek and looked up to him. "That means you will die young."

Durin's lips curled down. "Maybe then I can become an adult with a child's heart."

Rhianaye gazed at him musingly. "I don't think you will ever be able to do that..."

Durin frowned at her. "Why?"

Rhianaye shrugged. "Because dad always says you are an old soul trapped in a young body."

Durin's face fell and he remained silent.

Rhianaye's hand slid up and caught Durin's tightly. He looked at her and smiled. "Do you think mom and dad will be okay?" A shadow of fear toyed in her pretty eyes.

Durin's smile melted in a solemn frown. "Sure they will. They cannot live without each other. Auntie Dis says they are two halves of a whole."

Rhianaye settled down quietly and her eyes searched Durin's. "I don't like to hear them fight.."

Durin looked at the moon thoughtfully again. "Me neither. Now be quiet before we wake up Thrárin."

Rhianaye felt her eyelids heavy and relished the silent comforting figure of her big brother. She instantly felt her heart quieting down now that there were no more elevated voices coming from her parent's room and allowed sleep to overtake her.

Something that didn't happen for Durin, who remained for a long time silently bemusing at the moon, much like his father was doing in the other room.


	8. Whispers

_"Hello handsome." The suggestiveness in her voice was clearly noticeable in those two harmless words._

_He lifted up his head and his long sweaty mane dragged on his back heavily, making him feel the need to take the bucket full of water and pour it all over him in order to feel a little cooler. "Hello beautiful..." His mouth twisted in an appreciative smile and he looked at her with hooded eyelids as she strolled inside with an airy pink dress that was a little too revealing on her bust for his tastes. He always reminded her to wear a vest above her dresses in order to cover up her provocative bosom and usually she did, but this time for some reason she had opted to go about without one, which made him fizz with an unexpected spark of jealousy._

_"You are giving me the eye again." She smirked._

_His brow rose. "The eye?"_

_She tilted her head gently and caressed her long neck. "Yes, the one that tells me you might be prone to a little bit of wickedness tonight."_

_His azure eyes fell on that rude bust and the preliminaries of a blazing fire toyed in their depths. "What was it this time?" He asked with a soft voice._

_"What was what?" She rejoined and a carefree smile spread on her cherry lips._

_Thorin placed the blade in the water bucket and the water sizzled, raising a huge cloud of steam between them. "What physical activity did you get involved with that made you forget to wear your vest again?" He retrieved the sword and laid it on the anvil. He picked up his heavy tool and started hammering it once more, in order to draw his attention away from the alluring body of his wife._

_Eilin crossed her palms modestly in front of her lap and smiled sweetly at him. "Helped with some crops the farmers of Dale brought in. I chose the best ones for the Royal kitchens…"_

_"Hmmm…" -His voice's deep vibration was directed towards the anvil, but Eilin felt it in the pit of her stomach- "You know how I abhor you going around almost naked. My soldiers maybe loyal, but they are still just men and thinking that someone is out there jerking to your bust, is driving me mad."_

_Eilin cupped her mouth and giggled. "You didn't just say that…no."_

_Thorin gifted her with a playful side gaze and then turned his attention at the blade. "What do you think they are going to do when they come face to face with that Eilin, pray tell me?" –he pointed at the aforementioned bosom and had a great difficulty withdrawing his eyes form her full breasts as the nipples were ever so slightly visible under the smooth material of her silk dress. He began feeling hot under the collar- "I mean look at them…"_

_Eilin looked at herself and raised her brows. "I cannot help how I look …."_

_Thorin inhaled deeply and lifted up the sword so he could check on the blade. "Your bosom is the rudest thing I have ever seen and I bet I am not the only one noticing it. You can help my men from getting turned on and me from killing them, by wearing a damned vest…for Mahal's sake you have a whole cupboard full of them." He sounded mildly reproachful._

_Eilin's teeth captured her bottom lip and her eyes rose to him. They had a veiled look of sultriness in them. "What if I had a vest on and I took it off just before I came through this archway, just to please your beautiful eyes." She said softly._

_Thorin looked at her sharply and raised his brow._

_Eilin caressed the rim of the water bucket and picked up the cloth that was there. "I mean…I am not going to stroll around the whole kingdom with my nipples poking the fabric. I am not that absurd and I certainly don't wish to arouse anyone else but you."_

_Thorin's Adam's apple bobbed visibly and his eyes looked at her mouth. "That's a relief."_

_Eilin licked her upper lip and felt a tightness forming in her stomach. She dipped the cloth in the water, strained it and then sauntered to him, making sure her hips were swinging defiantly. "Where did you get this, my powerful warrior?" She leaned down and whispered close to his ear. Her cloth touched a rather deep scratch on his cheekbone, right under his eye._

_His mouth parted and he hissed ever so slightly. He was unable to stop his eyes from rolling down her neck and getting trapped at the deep canyon between her breasts. A drop of sweat was trapped there and he suddenly longed to lick it off her skin. "At the training grounds…" He replied quietly and placed the sword down, not interested in working on it anymore._

_Eilin flared her chest out to him and pretended to clean out his scratch carefully. When he saw him slightly flinch she pulled her hand back and frowned. "Did I hurt you?"_

_He swallowed heavily and shook his head, truly disinterested in his wound and at the roughness of his comrades at the field this afternoon. "It's okay."_

_Eilin's lips toyed with a smile at the effect she was obviously having on him. "Boys got rough out there today?"_

_Thorin's eyes fluttered at the view and his throat grew uncomfortably dry. "Yeah…a bit."_

_Eilin tapped the cloth softly around the scratch, making sure there were no traces of dirt on it. "I suppose you got a bit hard yourself…." She let the sentence float in the air and the insinuation was hot enough to burn through his already wavering discipline._

_The tightness in his stomach twisted around deliciously and his hands grasped his knees so hard that his knuckles turned white. "Oh, I got hard alright…" His whisper snatched her insinuation and drove it home._

_Eilin placed the cloth on top of his sword and cupped his jawline. "With the boys or with me?" Her exhalation at the end of that sentence made all his hair stand on end._

_"You came here today asking for trouble, didn't you?" He closed his eyes when her cheek touched his._

_Her lips ghosted his ear imperceptibly. "Well, I took off my vest for you….I had a bath before coming down and I wore your most favorite dress….plus the kids are asleep and Dis is watching over them. We have the whole night in front of us."_

_His palm cupped the back of her head and his fingers twisted through her curls, trying to wake up her scent. "You didn't think of everything well enough my little minx."_

_Eilin's mouth opened up to latch on his earlobe and every single cell in his body awoke. His fingers that were moving gently on her head, tensed momentarily and Eilin's lips formed a knowing smile. "What did I miss my handsome warrior?"_

_His other hand cupped her shoulder and led her slowly on his lap. "This station doesn't have a door, many other swordsmiths are working in nearby stations right now and that damned corridor is rarely empty. Plus I haven't taken a bath and I absolutely reek."_

_When Eilin straddled him a soft exhalation broke through his lips. Her mouth released his wet earlobe and followed the softness of his skin until she could burrow her nose on the hollow of his neck. "You have no idea what your scent is doing to me at this moment."_

_When her lips parted and drew in his sensitive skin, his eyes closed and his brows came together in tense anticipation. "What about the corridor?"_

_Her arms crawled around his shoulders and grasped him tightly, as her body took the initiative and rocked against him, coaxing a low groan of pleasure from his chest. "You own the whole damned kingdom…you mean to tell me you cannot find a quiet place for us to…play?"_

_Thorin's fingers tunneled through her hair and twisted almost possessively in it. He took a fistful of her red curls and pulled her away from his neck. His eyes were penetrative, but hers were already too foggy to notice. His gaze slid down her throat and got trapped on a vein that was throbbing with her galloping heartbeat. Then it moved agonizingly slow further down until it could rest blessedly on her voluptuous breasts that were undulating with her strained breaths. Eilin's nails turned downwards and he felt the pain distant and unimportant in view of her soft hips that were rocking on him slowly enough not to be visible from afar, but firmly enough to make him painfully hard. His hand smoothed down her arm and lingered on her waist as his other drew her head down until his mouth could imprison hers in its wet softness. "Whoever walks on the corridor is going to see us…" He murmured upon her parted lips._

_Another sensually slow rocking on his considerable arousal, was enough to make him exhale on her hard. "They will probably see my vest first in front of your archway and stop…" -Another gasp escaped him as her persistent rocking caused an unwilling reciprocation from his hips that released a moan from her throat. "Ah…that's it…you hit the spot…."_

_"Kiss me…" He groaned and his lips opened up and became so carnally assertive on hers that she instantly felt boneless. She leaned her head on his palm and closed her eyes as his tongue came out to meet hers in an infatuated eruption of sensations. He devoured her mouth greedily, delighting at the whimpers of pleasure that were escaping her each time his teeth entered the game and made it rougher. Her nails that were bothering his naked back and her hips that were sustaining a steady tempo on his virility were her encouragement for him to continue._

_His fingers caressed the side of her face gently as his mouth slowed down its initial fiery outbreak and delivered a sensual kiss that caused Eilin to arch in order to gain full access to his body. When his lips detached from hers and skimmed past her jawline, his fingers were already chasing the goosebumps on her bosom. When his teeth gnawed at her neck, she quivered so hard that his erection twitched with the need to feel her. She may have tried to control the game for both of them until that moment, but when his fingers pulled down her cleavage and revealed her full breasts, her hips stopped their rocking and she held her breath. He kept her there lingering in a trance, enjoying the unwilling trembling of her thighs. Then his fingers barely touched her nipple and her body jolted inwards. A long drawn moan left her mouth and he detached himself from her neck. "Silence…" He whispered and looked at her face._

_It was frozen in expectancy. "Thorin….touch me please…I need you…" She murmured and her hips gave another slow thrust against him._

_"You wet already, aren't you?" His eyes weakened when he saw the reaction of her face as his fingers circled around her nipple with a gentleness that send her inner muscles in a frenzy of clasping around a painful void._

_She nodded fiercely. "I could come like this…I am ready for you." She whispered._

_Thorin's jawline flexed tightly. "Get up." He said and pushed her away._

_Eilin staggered, but he caught her around the waist. "Where are we going?" she muttered, looking partly lost._

_He secured her on his body and led her to the archway. Just as she was thinking that he was going to lead them back to her old rooms, where they usually made love when someone was in the Royal chamber with the twins, he surprised her. Her led her straight next to the rune carved entrance and pushed her into the dark alcove. Eilin's palms lay flat on the warm stones behind her and she felt sweat running in thick rivulets between her breasts as he stood there in front of her, tensely silent. His face was barely lit by the dancing flames of the fire behind him, unreadable and dark, causing ripples of exhilaration to rush down her stomach. Only the passion toying in his gorgeous azure eyes was visible as his hands cupped her breasts and kneaded them appreciatively. "Beautiful…you are absolutely mesmerizing….." His face came inches from hers and his thigh parted her legs._

_She gave the archway a scared look. "We are right next to the door."_

_"Hmmm…." -His hum vibrated through her core- "…therefore no one can see us unless they come in."_

_Eilin felt the thrill coursing at the pit of her stomach. "Thorin reconsider, this is dangerous…"_

_"Is it?" His brow arched as his eyes venerated the sweaty peaks of her breasts._

_Her lips parted and her fingers wrapped around his biceps. The fear in her eyes was cloaking a twinkle of excitement. "Yes." She murmured._

_His thigh parted her legs, pushed straight on her core and she felt her soul melting against him. His hand gathered the side of her dress up to her waist. "You should have thought of that before teasing the soul out of me…Everything is going to happen right here next to the door, so silence your little mouth…"_

_She closed her eyes and felt the fear clashing fiercely with her scorching arousal that was staining the beautifully sawn Longbeard sigil on Thorin's trousers as his deliciously hard thigh muscle was giving her temporary relief. Every doubt she may have felt at that moment about the alcove they were hiding in, got dispersed into emptiness when his mouth opened up to devour one of her peaks. That is when all logic melted away and her brain shut down in absolute entirety. The burning sensation of his tongue on her over sensitized nipple was triggering her core to erupt in rivers of fire. The primeval groan that awoke from her chest as a response to his actions, was enough to send Thorin in overdrive._

_Inside this dream Thorin remembered clearly the sensations that burst forth in a sudden conflagration that threated to burn both of them alive. He remembered his hand almost tearing her dress to threads as he tried to shove it out of the way, between her back and the wall. He did recall clearly pulling her underwear down angrily as they were the last rude obstacle between him and her heat. When his hand cupped her mound he recalled vividly her wetness running between his fingers and the need to free himself becoming unbearable as voices suddenly were heard from the corridor. Voices that spoke meaningless nothings and laughter from somewhere close by. He couldn't pay attention to them though for he was too far gone by the sleekness of her tongue around his and the burning wetness that pulsated around his fingers as he intruded her tunnel._

_"People …are…coming…." Eilin's voice was barely heard between her whimpers of pleasure._

_He remembered how furiously he released her mouth and fumbled with the strings of his trousers, in his almost manic need to be free of all restraints. "You must keep quiet…" He warned and when his palm scraped his chafed erection, he muffled a groan. He raised his head and faced her. "Look at me…not a word…" He heaved._

_Her hands came up to cup his bearded cheeks. "I won't utter a single breath…" Her whisper was imploring. He recalled the craving he witnessed in her beautiful green eyes as they rolled to the back of her head when he pushed through her folds and buried himself to the hilt. The moan that woke up in her chest got buried in his mouth and he squeezed his eyes tight from the effort of keeping himself equally silent. They remained motionless, trembling from desire, panting hotly upon each other's mouths and counting the moments until their final frontier collapsed into inevitable ruins. Her heat that enfolded him like a glove almost broke him apart way too soon and his body betrayed him. Even though he originally intended to stay immovable inside her until the voices drew further away the first thrust was delivered by his hips instinctually and it was so hard that her head bobbed on the wall with a hollow bump. He looked up at her and her eyes were there waiting for him, holding a promise of ecstasy that made him melt. His eyelids fluttered as he lunged in her again with the same fervor._

_They made fast almost desperate, silent love hidden in this small alcove with their naked bodies becoming a frame were the blazing flames could draw pictures upon. They moved against each other with an insatiable hunger, which was able to consume their very soul. The rivers of sweat made their bodies so slippery that his grip on her hip was lost several times, but her legs embraced him tightly and opened up wide not wishing to miss a single inch of his ardent lunging at her depths. His teeth latched onto her neck and bruised her with his unbridled want, his nails created scratches of adoration on the flushed skin of her hips and his erection invaded her core with an assertion that send her mind reeling in the void. She pressed her cheek on his temple and choked all the frantic moans his wild ramming was enticing out of her. It wasn't long after that he felt her muscles pulsating around him as she was approaching her ultimate heights. He still recalled how after a flurry of pounding that was overpowering she released an unbidden groan in his ear and whispered with a broken voice. "Don't love me fully today Thorin….these are dangerous da-ys…"_

_Within the erotic ecstasy of the moment he found himself unable to believe that she had the state of mind to tell him that. He hissed upon her lips. "Are you seriously counting right now?"_

_Eilin's hands cupped his bearded cheek and she smoothed her lips on his. "I know you are terrified of us having another baby….I am trying to protect you, because I love you…"_

_His mind came at a standstill and so did his body._

_Her eyes cracked open and her brows met. "Why did you stop?" she stuttered and he felt her muscles hugging his weighty length greedily, with the traces of a waning orgasm he had just denied her by stopping at the last moment._

_"Did you actually command me not to love you fully, because you think I am afraid?" His whisper penetrated her muddled thoughts and she shuddered at the tone of his voice._

_She closed her eyes and panted on his lips. Her nails clawed him, urging him to start again and her hips…they frantically tried to grind on him, to make him touch her sweet spot again, to make his impressive muscle open her depths and push her over the edge. "Please…don't stop…please…" She begged with the last threads of dignity already abandoning her in view of his definitive control over her pleasure._

_Thorin's long fingers cupped her jawline and his finger smoothed under her earlobe. His hips drew back and offered her a single bottomless sensual sweep that ripped a hoarse groan from her. "You think I am afraid to come inside you?" He hissed and his lips lingered hot at the side of her mouth._

_Eilin eyes were pooling with unshed tears of lust. A smile of deep affection appeared fleetingly on her mouth, but it got buried under the painful heat that was deriving from her loins. She scratched his shoulder blade very hard and very intentionally. "I know you are afraid of having more babies….the twins are such a handful…I am just trying to te-ll you that I don't mind…It's okay my heart…please…"_

_Thorin kissed the hairpin of her mouth and his hips gave her another sensual thrust that her body relished. It replied to him with her internal muscles pulsating hotly around him in a silent prayer for him to keep it up. "You are so mistaken…." He murmured and gifted her with another lunge, which was followed by another deeper one. Instead of ramming her to oblivion like he was doing before he decided to make her unravel with a bottomless and steady pace that was enough to make her forget about her promise to be quiet._

_Eilin's moan as she felt her internal muscles coaxed to a near orgasm once more was loud enough to be heard outside and the voices that had been gossiping up till then, suddenly stopped. "Have mercy on me…please…" She whispered on his mouth._

_He felt the hotness of her breath scorching his lips. "I want to come inside you…" He murmured and his tongue came out to tease the softness of her lips._

_She opened them enough to accept him. "Do it then…love me fully…just please I beg you…don't stop…not now…"_

_When his tongue entered her mouth and silenced her, she gasped. When his hips resumed a quicker pace she felt her insides already lifting up the banners of total surrender. One of her hands left his nape and rushed to cup his buttocks possessively. She clawed him hard, urging him to become more animalistic with her….while her infatuated whispers begged for his seed._

_His lips slid up her jawline and found her ear as she was almost touching freedom. "Come for me…quietly…" His command for her to be silent and her inability to do so along with the knowledge that someone was almost outside their door made her shatter with a release that made his ears ring. Her legs and arms clutched his sweaty body and when finally sound returned, his ears were delighted from an outbreak of low key moans that she was unable to stop and he was unwilling to restraint. As her heat thudded hard around him, he felt his own need throbbing with the precursors of a major orgasm and he released her throat in order to crush his lips in her mouth. "I love you Eilin…." He gasped._

_"I love you too…." Her breathless answer was so honest and the breaking of her voice showed so much emotion that his body set off for her with a discharge he would remember for the rest of his life. His monumental release was dedicated to her body and to her soul, right there in that dark alcove next to the archway, with those voices now long gone. They remained breathless against the wall with her limps hanging off him boneless, as her body was still quivering passionately from her orgasm and his hips still trying to empty every ounce of his insatiable need for her._

_That was the first time he had taken Eilin upright on the wall, in his forging station, a mere breath away from some innocent spectators who probably understood they came too close to catching someone upon the act. It may have been indeed the first time he had felt such an uncontrollable need to have her next to an open doorway by throwing caution in the wind, but it wasn't about to be the last because they both enjoyed that element of fear far more than they had anticipated._

_He never regretted that he loved her fully that evening, even though his three year old twins were still a rather demanding couple that didn't want to accept another addition to their family, which was about to take place after that wild coupling at the forging stations._

_Thorin would have never imagined that this blazing and downright dangerous encounter would have impregnated Eilin with the calm and prudent Thrarin….never….not in his wildest dreams did he ever expect to be blessed with fatherhood again….and yet he was blessed with a son of fiery red hair and stunning blue eyes…..a son who got captured close to the anvil…..and who was born from fire itself…._

* * *

 

"You should take it off the fire, Sir."

Thorin jerked upright with waves of fear rushing down his spine. "What?!"

Rhiannon looked at him surprised. "Shit I didn't mean to scare you Sir."

Thorin grabbed his chest and closed his eyes.

Rhiannon cringed apologetically. "I didn't meant to curse either Sir. Forgive me!"

Thorin shook his head. "Never mind…" He whispered.

"I didn't understand that you were asleep Sir. You were leaning upon your hand, I thought you were just taking a rest." Rhiannon turned to the huge pot and took it off the fire.

Thorin rubbed his face and tried to wake up from his dream. That is when he felt something uncomfortably hard creating a tent at the front of his leather trousers and looked down sharply. His eyes flew open when he saw his erection being clearly discernable under the table. He covered his lap with his long leather coat quickly and looked up to see if Rhiannon had noticed anything without realizing that his cheeks formed two deep red spots. He couldn't in all earnest believe that he had gotten a hard on from a wet dream with his wife in the middle of the kitchens, while he had fallen asleep upright, instead of cooking Thrarin's porridge. What the hell was wrong with him? These kinds of things happened to over-excited young adults who were just discovering the pleasures of love and were unable to control themselves, not two hundred year old warriors who had plenty of experience and unlimited will-power. What was next? Unwilling ejaculation while he was taking a nap in the meeting room? Maybe he should have allowed Eilin to have her ways with him last night….because apparently despite their argument, her advances had left him bothered as it was proven by his wet dream. He threw Rhiannon another wary glance. "What the hell are you doing here anyway?"

Rhiannon smiled at him. "It's the time I start cooking lunch Sir. Sorry I woke you up."

Thorin rubbed his forehead and tightened his hand around his coat. "Can you not…do this right now?" He whispered, needing to get her away from the kitchens until he calmed down and was able to stand up and walk away without making a bloody idiot of himself in front of his staff.

Rhiannon stopped her work. "I can go if you want me Sir."

Thorin frowned and forced his eyes to open. "Did you say it is mid-morning?"

Rhiannon curtsied. "The bell has called the dawn three times already Sir, didn't you hear it?"

Thorin closed his eyes with a frown and shook his head. "No…no…" he murmured. Had he slept here all night? Damn….he gave another good for Eilin to scold him, even though he didn't choose to sleep in the kitchens on purpose. Well, maybe if he told her how he woke up this morning and that she was the instigator of this embarrassing mess she would forgive him. An unwilling smiled formed on his lips on that thought.

"You must have been truly tired, Sir…." Rhiannon looked at him curiously.

Thorin leaned his head on his hand and closed his eyes. "What?…"

"You know sleeping here all night….." Rhiannon continued.

Thorin's eyes cracked open and he gave her a cautionary side-glance.

Rhiannon smiled uncomfortably. "I mean…you know…"

Thorin felt her jawline flexing and his nerves twitching. "No, I don't know what you mean. Want to elaborate?"

"I mean if you indeed slept here all night long it must have felt rather uncomfotable…" Rhiannon hurried to tell the words before her courage abandoned her.

Thorin's eyes opened up completely and the look he gave her was certainly ascetic enough to make her take a step back. "Are you seriously trying to question me on what I did last night?"

Rhiannon's eyes fled around the room in order to avoid his stare. "Well, you know Sir. I was worried when I saw you sleeping here" –she hesitated- "and knowing that you didn't go to your rooms..."

Thorin's hand smashed the table so hard that Rhiannon jumped out of her skin. "Who told you I didn't go, my wife?"

Rhiannon quivered in her boots.

"Great questioning techniques…you need improvement. I have enough burdens already from my wife! I don't need more from my bloody maiden!" He snapped.

Rhiannon looked at her stippled hands and felt a shudder of apprehension rushing down her spine. "Forgive me, I asked only because I care for you Sir."

Thorin scrutinized her with a relentlessly burning glare. "Yes, I slept here all night, upright like a bloody fool while trying to cook Thrarin his porridge. Go and tell Eilin that. Inform her that I didn't sleep anywhere else." His voice turned disgusted even at the insinuation.

Rhiannon paled. "Forgive me Sir if I offended you."

He closed his eyes and leaned his head on his hand again. "Enough…just stop" -He commanded and she pulled back and looked at the floor. Well at least this skirmish with the service people managed to calm down his erection- "Is my family awake?" He asked as the tension began dissipating around them.

Rhiannon lifted her eyes and nodded eagerly. "They woke up on the first call of the day and didn't even have breakfast. That is why no one saw you here in the kitchens. They left with Princess Dis. She had an idea of taking them for a morning swim and then for a picnic as the weather is magnificent today."

Thorin exhaled and rubbed his face in order to wake himself. "Great…" He murmured. Another reason for Eilin to yell at him. He didn't see her this morning to ask how she slept and he didn't give her a kiss goodbye. It felt as if lately she was searching for reasons to make him feel inadequate and he abhorred that. He pushed back the chair and stood up, feeling rather reassured that his morning hard on was nowhere to be seen anymore.

"Won't you have any breakfast then, Sir? Shall I prepare you something?" Rhiannon asked with a readiness which was not lost in him.

He shook his head and opened the door. "No, but make sure when the kids come back to give them this porridge. Especially Thrarin, alright?"

Rhiannon smiled gently. "Of course I will Sir. The porridge his daddy spent all night making..."

Thorin inhaled deeply and gave her an indifferent look. "Yeah…make it seem like I did something important…." His lips turned down and he closed the door behind him.

Thorin took a long time to go to the Royal chambers and even longer to change into fresh clothes. When he finished he went through the children's room to make sure that everything was in place, but the small wooden lion he had carved for Durin when he was four years old drew his attention. It was thrown on the floor next to his bed. Thorin picked it up and sat heavily on Durin's bed, cradling the toy in his large hands. A sad smile formed on his lips as he looked at its belly where there was a big scratch. His finger touched it and his eyes looked at it dreamily. He remembered clearly how the toy had earned that wound and how Durin the same day earned his nickname lion.

_It had been one of those wild days were his twins had woken up in the mood to kill each other. From the first moment they opened their eyes they were upon each other's throats for everything. Breakfast, mom's embrace, dad's attention, the toys, the beds…everything. Rhiannon was teasing Durin and her brother was quick enough to retaliate. Eilin had managed to stop them a dozen times and Thorin a dozen more, but in the end they were unable to stop Durin's explosion when Rhianaye stole his little wooden lion and started running down the corridor with it held above her head like a trophy. "You are not going to get me, you are not going to get me!" She yelled in a singsong manner as she approached the winding staircase that led to the lower Royal levels. Durin dashed behind her with his trousers half open as his mother was trying to dress him up a moment before. As he ran behind her his trousers slipped down to his knees, but that didn't stop him. When Rhianaye saw her formidable brother one step behind her she screeched and threw the wooden lion off the staircase. Durin's eyes grew wide and he rushed to get it, but the strings of his pants got in the way. He stepped on them and took a rather nasty tumble. Down and down he went, head over heels and when he landed on the lower level he had a broken leg and a rather large gush on the top of his head._

_Both Eilin and Thorin hurried after him and so did Rhianaye who was sobbing about the state of her brother. When Thorin kneeled next to his son and took him in his arms, Durin's face may have been full of blood and his leg may have been twisted abnormally, but his boy was smiling. "I saved the lion you made me daddy. It didn't break…"_

_Thorin's eyes overflowed with unbidden tears as he cradled his son close to his heart. "Are you okay?"_

_Durin nodded. "I am okay and I protected my lion daddy."_

_Thorin kissed his forehead passionately and his hand cupped Durin's. The King pressed his head on his son's temple possessively. "Yes you did, because you are the true lion my son, not this toy."_

_Durin grinned widely. "I am?"_

_Thorin nodded. "My ferocious and wild lion…"_

Thorin stroked the scratch recalling those beautiful days were he, Eilin and the children were one. Devoid of any darkness and bitterness. Was this how a marriage supposed to go? Did long term relationships always end up in such traps of dissapointment? He didn't know. He didn't have any other experiences prior to Eilin. With Siv he may have been in love for thirty years, but they had been together only two before she died in the most unfortunate circumstances. With her he didn't get married, he didn't share a family, and he didn't raise children. He didn't have the chance to feel the wears and tears of their everyday life affecting their relationship for years on end. Everything he had ever experienced with Eilin was a first. The good and the bad of devoting yourself to one person for the rest of your life. He adored the good parts and he detested the bad ones, but he stuck through all of them.

Like he was doing now….

Now that everything seemed a little bit worse than ever before. He could only pray that he and his beloved wife would finally manage to get out of this dark phase of their marriage. Dis reassured him that she had gone through similar phases with her husband, but it was different to hear it from a third party and different experiencing it firsthand. Some moments like last night he didn't know what to do. How to handle his wife, how to stop their bickering, how to satisfy her with his attitude and his answers and he was left feeling lost…

…same way he felt today….

He swallowed heavily and frowned at the little wooden lion. His eyes remained fixed on it for a long time and he showed no intention of moving towards the Throne room and today's obligations. He wanted to sit there and cradle Durin's wooden toy without doing anything else for once. He would have succeeded probably in doing so, if his wife's voice didn't resound in his mind, waking it up.

_Whispers….he said he heard whispers…maybe you should talk to him…_

Thorin's eyes lifted up to the wooden door panel and his brow clouded. He placed the little lion on Durin's bed, straightened his leather coat and got out of the children's bedroom. The walk to the King's Halls was silent and unobstructed, until Balin's voice interrupted his thoughts. "There you are laddie. Today you have a lot of meetings. The four chancellors need to speak to you and Fili wants to discuss the new training methods for the Royal guards. Dain wants to relate concerns for the army's divisions under the Seven, Durar wants to talk to you about the armory and the new war carriages that are being build, the workers of mine number fifty five wish to see you about their tunnel which found a dead end in a bottomless pit that has never been explored before. The brimstone masters are in a rush to talk to you about the malfunction of the furnaces on the fourth eastern residential area. Also the master masons are concerned about several pillars collapsing on the gathering cavern of the third level close to the southern exits…"

Thorin stopped and cupped his forehead. "Balin…."

"We have hunters from Dale that wish to discuss the exchanges of services with our builders and our smiths, Lord Elrond who wishes to see you while his daughter and Isldur's heir had made Erebor their little love nest, emissaries from Rohan who wish to discuss their feuds with the Northmen and the involvement of the Rangers while his leader is here under your protection….."

"Balin!" Thorin cried.

The advisor stopped and looked up from his scrolls. "Was it too much for one day?"

Thorin gave him an austere side glance and continued on his way. "Cancel everything."

Balin's mouth dropped open. "What?! I cannot do that, the chancellors are already waiting for you at the meeting room."

Thorin waved him away. "I said cancel everything, I am off."

Balin halted and gazed at him with a deep frown. "Off where?"

Thorin's eyes flared. "Anywhere but here…" He muttered and left a bewildered Balin in the middle of the antechamber looking at him lost.

* * *

 

"When you decide to flee like this, there must be a scene of destruction somewhere left behind. I know you too well by now." Dwalin crossed his arms and gave him a guarded look.

Thorin pulled the straps and humphed. "Save your wit for another day."

Dwalin walked in the stables. "Found Balin in the Throne room. He said you crisscrossed paths in the King's Halls, that you cancelled every appointment for today and almost bit his head off in the process. He couldn't stop mumbling."

Thorin raised his brow and began shuffling through his saddle bag. "He still has it attached on his shoulders, doesn't he?"

Dwalin raised his brow.

"Then consider him lucky." Thorin rejoined.

Dwalin uncrossed his arms and came next to his friend. "So what happened?"

Thorin glared at him annoyed. "Nothing."

Dwalin took hold of the reins and pulled them away of Thorin's reach. "You know I am not going to let you go that easily. Now what happened?"

Thorin leaned his elbow on the saddle and sighed. "Had a long discussion with Eilin, like you advised me to."

Dwalin's lips toyed with a smile. "Well, how did it go?"

Thorin's brows wavered. "Not all that well."

"I can see that..." Dwalin's lips curled down.

Thorin looked away and started worrying about the remaining straps on the saddle. "What do you want Dwalin…leave me alone."

His friend looked at him warily. "I want to know what happened to make you flee Erebor like the beasts of Morgul are on your tail."

Thorin cringed. "I am not fleeing. I just want some…" suddenly he felt all the anger extinguishing inside him and he leaned his arms on the saddle.

Dwalin tilted his head expectantly. "Some?"

The King remained quiet for several moments and when he spoke again his voice was not so contemptuous. "We had another argument last night…."

Dwalin's lips curled down. "I figured out as much. About what?"

The dissapointment was clear on the King's face. "About nothing….about everything."

Dwalin gave his friend a look of disbelief. "Come on, be more specific…."

Thorin threw his hands in the air. "What do you want me to say? She was mad at me that I didn't search for her all day long in order to ask how she slept…."

Dwalin frowned. "What the hell…."

Thorin leaned his face on his palm and closed his eyes. "You told me to talk with her and so I did…or at least tried to. Maybe if I hadn't taken your advice and I had allowed her to make love to me last night, things would have been better, but no I had to go and scratch around the wound in order to make it bleed."

Dwalin clasped his shoulder. "Did you tell her how bad you feel about all this?"

"I did….." Thorin's voice was diminished.

"And?..."

"….nothing. We almost tore each other's heads off, she went to sleep and I went to the kitchens to make Thrarin's porridge. I don't even know how the hell I ended up falling asleep down there all night long." Thorin rejoined feebly.

Dwalin flinched. "Damn…"

Thorin gave him a defeated side glance. "I have a sore back, an almost burned porridge, a head that is pounding and a Kingdom that wants to eat me up alive today. That is why I am leaving." He omitted to tell his best friend that he also had a rather detailed wet dream about taking his wife against the wall of his forging station and that he woke up with a painful erection that took another argument with the staff in order to fade away.

Dwalin rubbed his forehead. "Thorin I don't know what to tell you…"

The King mounted the horse and took the reins. "Who told you I require any insightful words right now?"

Dwalin gazed at the stables. "Shall I saddle my horse to come with you then?"

The King's lips pursed. "No remain here and talk with Fili about the Royal guards please. I am leaving too many loose ends, but I really cannot speak with anyone right now. Take over whatever you can and I will see to the rest when I return."

Dwalin crossed his arms and gave him a nod. "Are you going to be late?"

Thorin's lips turned down. "No…at least I don't think so." He said and kicked his horse setting it to a mild trot that led him quickly up to the antechamber and out of the gates. He looked gloomily at the shore of the River Running that was full of families who were fishing, cleaning their clothes or having picnics. His family was most certainly out there somewhere having fun, but instead of seeking them out and being in danger of getting in another fight with Eilin for sleeping in the kitchens he decided to set his horse in a fierce gallop and get as far away from the crowded areas as possible.

The weather was mild and the sun was shining so he could understand the need of everyone to take a dive in the river. He hoped his children were out there having fun in it too. His need to do the same became rather intense the more he rode under the blazing heat of the summer sun, so when he finally reached the borders of Mirkwood he turned his horse towards the River Running and located the sharp cliffs that he had taken that famous dive from when he was younger. A location he never revealed to Durin, because he didn't want his boy to challenge these dangerous rocks. He allowed his son to believe the dive that almost killed him was taken from the mouth of Erebor's waterfalls. He led his horse with precision through the narrow paths and reached the shores.

The sun that was burning his skin and the sweat staining his tunic made the glittering waters look so fresh and cool that he didn't have to think twice about it. He took off everything except his trousers and climbed the back of the cliff until he reached the top of the waterfalls.

He looked down and remembered all those centuries back when he stood at the same place ready to challenge the roughness of the stones under him just for a bet. Much like Durin had done with Havarthur. His fingers touched the large faded scar where his shoulder met his neck and he shuddered. A reflective smile appeared on his lips and he looked at the razor sharp rocks under him. Did he even remember how to dive from this place now? Had the years erased the mapping of the river bed that he had created after that accident in his mind? After almost bleeding to death at these shores in the arms of his weeping father, Thorin had never tried to dive again from this place, until now.

He edged the waterfall and looked down at the frothing nightmare of his past. He closed his eyes and relished at the sound of the cascading waters. It took him several contemplative moments to decide, but the heat of his skin, the vivid memory of his wet dream that was still annoying him beyond reason, the dissapointment at himself for failing Eilin and the need to cool down won over everything else. He aligned himself, inhaled deeply and took a flawless dive in the cold waters. When he resurfaced a huge smile of pride was on his lips. He swam vigorously up and down the river several times in order to vent all the energy that was stored up inside him and when he found himself in need to take another dive, he didn't get out in order to walk up from the back of the rolling hill. He swam to the side of the waterfall, placed his hands and feet on the sharp rocks and began climbing vertically, needing to wear out himself physically as much as possible.

He climbed up quickly with enviable expertise, stood at the edge of the wild falls and took another dive. Then he repeated the process again and again until he felt his arms painfully shaking and his thighs burning from pain. That is when he swam to the shore and got out. He emptied himself, truly exhausted on the ground and closed his eyes. This physical exercise ended up becoming the cleanse he had wished for in order to drive away the demons that had been persecuting him ever since the previous evening.

He opened his eyes and looked at the deep blue sky as the fluffy clouds glided above him in various shapes and forms. He could have stayed like this for the rest of his life, couldn't he? Delighting at the soft wind that was cooling his wet skin and at the quietness around him.

"At least sixty four times …" The voice that interrupted his serenity didn't surprise him at all.

Thorin's eyes cracked open and he looked behind him. "Hello Chieftain."

Aragorn smiled. "You did this up and down sixty four times…."

Thorin placed his forearm above his eyes. "I could have sworn it was more."

"No, I counted each and every one."

"Then I am getting older, for I used to be able to do it more than a hundred." Thorin rejoined.

Aragorn got off his horse. "This place is beautiful. I would like to try a dive too."

"It is also rather dangerous. I wouldn't advise you to do so unless you are familiar with the river bed. It is jam-packed with razor sharp stones that can tear you to pieces." Thorin's voice was colored with a warning Aragorn didn't miss. His fingers caressed his ancient scar once, just for good measure.

Aragorn sat next to him. "Fine, I am easy to convince. There are other easier spots in this river to dive from I suppose."

Thorin's lips formed a shrewd smile. "Indeed you should try those. I wouldn't want to have a hand in the annihilation of Isildur's heir. Gondor would never exonerate me."

Aragorn's brow clouded. "I don't think Gondor would appreciate having me back at this moment."

Thorin looked at him blandly. "No one wants to be the first to rock the boat when the waters are pretentiously calm."

Aragorn looked at his hands. "Especially a King in Exile that is unwanted."

Thorin inhaled deeply and looked at the clear waters that were glistening under the sun. "It is not easy to be a King in Exile, I should know."

Aragorn nodded and his brows creased attentively.

"Sometimes it may feel easier to remain uninvolved…." Thorin continued.

Aragorn's frown deepened. "It does. I have my Rangers. I don't want to interfere, but Lord Elrond says that it is the call of my lineage, of my blood."

Thorin tilted his head. "He is right and you are not alone in this struggle. There is another King who might feel the same in the future and even yet another one who felt like that in the past."

Aragorn looked at him penetratingly. "You?"

Thorin raised his brows reflectively. "I had created a good life for my people back in the Blue Mountains. My Halls were prospering, they were brimming with life. I could have stayed there…"

Aragorn's gaze was intense.

"I knew that following this quest for the Lonely Mountain could end up in ruins for me, for my people and for the men and women of Esgaroth. Maybe its despair would have spread north to the Iron hills, claiming more victims. I didn't need to do this. I could have stayed home, you see." -Thorin continued quietly- "But would it have been wise to do so?"

Aragorn plucked some grass and looked at it dreamily. "Seeing Erebor now at the peak of its glory, I don't think so your Majesty."

The King smiled sadly. "Call me Thorin."

Aragorn reciprocated the smile.

The King shook his head. "My world crumbled into ruins before I was able to get a chance to rebuild it and see it prosper. It might sound frightening to you, but sometimes you must see the old world destroyed, before you can set the new foundations on it."

Aragorn nodded. "I might need to do the same on day you think?"

Thorin's eyebrow flicked. "I am certain you will, for the state of Gondor currently is decaying and ready to crumble. Its keepers are easy to line up with the darkness if they get a worthy offer. It is a Kingdom that yearns for its King to return, to destroy its corruption and then to rebuild it. Do you understand?"

Aragorn eyes turned pensively to the river. "I do."

Thorin nodded dreamily. "As does another Kingdom, one that belongs to my kin. It awaits, empty and silent in the dark for its King to return, reclaim it, rebuilt it and make it thrive again."

Aragorn looked at him sideways. "Moria?

Thorin nodded with a smile. "I am sure its King will have the same doubts and fears I had. The same ones you are having. He is the one you saved a couple of days ago. You gave him the opportunity to live in order to come face to face with the same challenges that scare you so much right now."

Aragorn beamed. "I am glad I did."

Thorin's smile melted in a serious frown. "I will offer you the same prudent advice I always offer my son."

Aragorn looked at him gravely.

"Don't allow the darkness that will descent on your path deter you from your fate, for your decisions will lead the destiny of many. As did mine and as will my son's." Thorin's grave words penetrated the young man's soul and they were words that would resound in his ears in the future when he would come face to face with darkness itself.

Aragorn turned his heavy gaze at the river and remained there reflectively quiet for a long time.

Thorin resolved in silence and delighted at the fluffy clouds once more.

"Thought you'd be back in the Throne room…not here. Especially today that Rohan wants to accuse my people of mending in their business with the Northmen…and possibly accuse you for offering me shelter." Aragorn spoke quietly after what felt like an eternity.

"Decided to take a break. Let them wait for a while." Thorin didn't remove his forearm from his face as he spoke.

Aragorn leaned back on his elbows and smirked. "Good for you…"

"What are you doing here then?" Thorin asked.

"I took a ride across the River Running. It is a beautiful forest. Bright and breezy…feels so free and beautiful. So different from Mirkwood. It is as if you are entering another world when you go in there." Aragorn gestured to the Mirkwood borders that were clearly visible from where they sat.

Thorin leaned his elbows on his knees. "Mirkwood is heavy with Elven magic, my forest is free from all that. I will send a message to Elrond that I might need your assistance as a tracker. You are very good at it, aren't you?"

Aragorn's face lit up. "Yes."

Thorin's head bobbed heavily. "Roac tells me you can communicate with animals well also."

Aragorn smiled nervously. "I am rather tolerable."

Thorin nodded somberly. "That shall earn us a few more days of that cherished freedom for you and your lady, so you can both enjoy my lands unhindered."

Aragorn looked at him long and hard. "Why are you helping me?"

Thorin threw him a vague glance. "You saved my sons. I told you…. I never forget."

Aragorn pressed his lips and looked at his boots. "Thank you…"

"You might do well to remember that in the future too….for you might need my help again." Thorin looked at him with a fleeting smile.

Aragorn's mouth formed a grateful smile and he nodded softly. "I shall never forget."

Thorin smirked and pushed himself up. He walked towards his clothes and started dressing.

Aragorn followed him readily. "Did you really need a tracker or is everything a lie just to keep me here?"

Thorin raised his brow calculatingly. "Oh, I do need you. Do you have anything to do right now?"

Aragorn straightened himself. "No…"

"Then I want you to take me exactly where you found my boys." Thorin pursed his lips.

Aragorn face beamed. "It will be a pleasure."

The King mounted his horse and smiled at Aragorn. "You take the lead, Chieftain."

It didn't take Aragorn long to lead them to the place he recovered the unconscious Durin. He dismounted and started searching the ground with great concentration. Thorin followed him, but his eyes were stuck at the outline of the dark ruins that lay behind the borders of Mirkwood, a few feet away from them.

Aragorn picked up a wet branch and showed it to Thorin who kneeled next to him. "This is what hit Lord Durin. See it still has some dried blood on this protrusion." Aragorn pointed at a brown looking stain.

Thorin took the branch and then traced its edge with his fingers. "It isn't a clean cut."

Aragorn shook his head. "No, it broke off on its own. Look it is mostly molded that is why it didn't cause Lord Durin more damage. I know what you think, but it looks like an accident."

Thorin gave him a quiet nod and stood up. He looked behind him and saw the opening at the trees that led to the Bald Hill. Without saying anything to the Ranger he walked towards it. When he exited the forest he stopped and raised his eyes at the direction of the old ruins almost spellbound. He hadn't visited this cursed land ever since he endeavored that brainless challenge to the Gods after losing Eilin.

He took a deep breath and felt his heart slowing down. His boys shouldn't have approached this desolation. They shouldn't have reached so far into the filthy mistiness that lingered behind the dark veil. Even though he and Thranduil's soldiers had cleared up Dol Guldur ten years ago, still no one could be positive that its dark magic didn't hide new occupants. Moreover no one had a way of knowing unless they passed through the shroud. Something that Thorin was not in a hurry to repeat especially now that he had children who needed him…..he cringed and threw the branch away angry at how needlessly his sons had imperiled their lives.

As he was looking around his attention was drawn to a spot under a tree were the dirt had been stirred. He frowned and kicked it with his boot.

"Someone has sat here…" -Aragorn kneeled down and touched the ground- "His posture was rather exhausted. He was carrying an arrow with him." –He pointed at a small rounded indentation amidst the moldy leaves- "And a satchel, which he rummaged and then threw away." The Ranger continued and showed Thorin the clear marks of what he was noticing.

Thorin's lips upturned. "You are rather extraordinary."

Aragorn smirked. "I know my job well…"

Thorin looked at the tracks. "Can you trace him back to a fire pit or a temporary lodging?"

Aragorn's eyes became grave and he gave a curt nod. "Yes, give me some time."

Thorin stood up and looked at Dol Guldur. "Take all the time you need, Chieftain."

Aragorn followed the tracks that were clearly visible only to his eyes, while Thorin strayed towards Dol Guldur again. He walked endlessly up and down the circumference of the old ruins, looking at it with eyes that were spewing the very fires of hell. With each step he took the more furious he became that his children came within reach of this place….but especially Durin.

This castle yearned to enwrap him in its darkness. It ached to imprison Durin's heirs since forever…..what would it do if it could have a chance with Durin the Deathless himself? Fear licked Thorin's spine and he shook. He glowered at it with fierceness, hoping that his eyes alone could burn it to the ground and remove it from these lands once and for all.

He didn't know how long he patrolled in front of the broken bridge for a sign that there was still rotten life behind the veil, but he saw and heard nothing. He didn't even know where the Ranger had gone. The silence around him was so enormous that he felt momentarily unnerved. Similar feelings had overtaken him ten years ago just before he took the leap of death. His jawline flexed, his fists clenched, his nose flared and his demeanor tensed as long as his legs kept him pacing. When they stopped though at the brink of the collapsed bridge when once upon another lifetime his father had been killed, Thorin froze involuntarily. His lips parted and time suddenly halted for him. He inhaled deeply and heard his breath coursing through his blood. His heart drummed with a galloping pace in his ears making him feel on the verge of fainting.

That is when he heard it and it was almost imperceptible. As if it was deriving from a dream, rather than reality. A distant whisper of a deep voice, full of malevolance….at first it spoke words that Thorin couldn't understand, but that was not meant to last. When recognition dawned upon his features his skin became ghostly white and his lips began trembling.

 _Gu kibum kelkum-ishi, burzum-ishi. Akha-gum-ishi ashi gurum._ *

His mouth dropped open in a silent scream and he reached up to cover his ears when the voice of Aragorn made him jump out of his skin. "The tracks stop further off. Whoever was here knows how to hide himself well."

Thorin turned around and lost his footing, almost emptying himself at the huge gap below.

Aragorn rushed to his side and steadied him. "Are you alright?" The worry was clear in his voice.

Thorin shook his head and licked his lips. "I am okay…I thought I heard something…."

Aragorn drew him away from the bridge and looked at it darkly above his shoulder. "What did you hear?"

Thorin pulled himself away from the Ranger and leaned his body on a tree bark. "Nothing….." -He whispered- "really it was nothing."

Aragorn's frown became more suspicious. "You look scared out of your mind…"

Thorin rubbed his forehead and gestured towards Dol Guldur. "This place…it isn't good for me. It isn't good for anyone in my family."

Aragorn nodded gravely. "This place isn't good for anyone."

Thorin grasped Aragorn's arm firmly. "We need to go."

Aragorn frowned and pointed towards the tracks. "Wait, I didn't manage to trace the man for you, but maybe if we ride further off west we might find something…"

Thorin pushed him towards the horses angrily. "Not now. We need to leave!"

Aragorn didn't make any more attempts to resist as the King seemed determined to lead them away from the Hills of Black Sorcery. This time he took the lead and set his horse in a wild gallop the Ranger had a great difficulty following between the narrow, entwining paths of Mirkwood. When finally they made it to the high road next to Erebor's forests, Aragorn was hoping the King would slow down his horse, but he didn't. Nothing would have been able to stop Thorin's almost frantic flee from Dol Guldur and Aragorn followed him uncomplainingly. It was only when they reached the inner grounds of Erebor that Thorin slowed down. He looked way too exhausted, way too preoccupied and way too worried for a warrior of such hard chiseled nature. "I am sorry we left so quickly."

Aragorn looked at him searchingly. "Are you sure you are okay?"

Thorin looked at him with a tired smile. "Yes…"

Aragorn didn't look convinced, but he followed the King quietly, trying to understand what took place to force such a fearless man as the King of the North to flee like a scared little dwarfling. It was Thorin's voice that interrupted Aragorn's thoughts this time.

"Thank you for helping me out today." He muttered pensively and his eyes looked up thoughtfully at the most unexpected sight, in the most unexpected place. Lady Íth was occupying the Royal training grounds with a sword at hand, training against an invisible foe.

Aragorn observed the dwarrowdam also. "It was my pleasure, but we didn't get any results."

Thorin's brows clouded. "I don't want to go back there again…forgive me." He whispered.

Aragorn gave him a perceptive nod. "I can go there for you." He offered, trying to be discreet and not ask again what took hold of the King so suddenly.

Thorin's eyes fell on him with uncertainty. "You would?"

Aragorn smile kindly. "I would do anything to help you…I mean it."

Thorin exhaled pleased. "Then do so and if you find anything notify me."

Aragorn pressed his lips decisively. "Of course Sir."

Thorin's eyes returned tired beyond count to Lady Íth . "I thank you for everything today. We shall talk later."

Aragorn bowed deeply, understanding that the King would appreciate a few moments of privacy with this Lady. "Good evening Sir."

Thorin tilted his head to him absently, but kept his eyes to the elegant moves of Lady Íth as Aragorn placed his horse in a trot.

The King had three options presented to him at that moment. Go back home, find Eilin and get in another fight, find a quiet spot to gather his thoughts about what frightened him so much at Dol Guldur or try to say hello to Brunar's mother and forget about everything else.

His lips toyed indecisively for several moments before he turned his horse towards the Royal training grounds.

* * *

A/N:

* "No life in coldness, in darkness. Here in void, only death." - Black Speech

* * *

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	9. Fear is prudence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive the short -by my standards- chapter, but this was part of a bigger one that became so huge it would be difficult to follow if I posted it as one.

 

* * *

 

* * *

Rhiannon searched around her for the leaves that Eilin wanted feeling mildly troubled. She said they were near the training grounds and Rhiannon had been out there gathering for a long time. She had managed to find several bunches, but she didn't know if they were the correct ones. Eilin mentioned to Rhiannon tersely that these herbs were Thorin's favorite for a tea, so she had to be careful to pick up the best ones. The austerity the Queen used in order to speak about those herbs to Rhiannon, made the maiden recognize that her best friend was putting too much effort in something that seemed so trivial. She was making an extra attempt to please her husband for some reason.

The Queen may have not expressed her troubles with words, but Rhiannon knew her better than her own self. They grew up together like sisters. It wasn't difficult to understand that something was going on with Eilin's marriage. She had witnessed Eilin going through another troubled period when she thought the King didn't want any more children, but that ended up relatively painless with the birth of Thrárin which made the King happier than he had ever been.

Whatever was bothering the King and the Queen now though was not so subliminal. Eilin carried on her countenance a leaden concern that was painful for Rhiannon to witness. The maiden always asked if everything was okay whenever she saw Eilin coming out of the Royal chambers with bloodshot eyes and pouting lips. Eilin labeled every argument with her husband as nothing more than expected differences about the children. Nevertheless Rhiannon knew that something was amiss.

The morning she attempted to question the King at the kitchens, she had done so on purpose. She wanted to acquire information that would calm down Eilin who had been rather annoyed about her husband missing all night long. Rhiannon tried to figure out what the King had been up to just to quiet down the Queen's suspicions. Unfortunately she didn't do a very good job, because the King scolded her out of his sight. Nevertheless she related to Eilin everything Thorin told her, along with the promise to tell her everything she noticed about the King whenever she got the chance. Eilin's response was a tight hug and the words. "Thank you sister. I am counting on you." So Rhiannon became the Queen's unofficial spy and she was damned proud of the trust Eilin was showing in her, but that didn't eradicate her main responsibility, which was to serve the Royals.

So today she wanted to make Eilin happy by managing to bring back the King's favorite tea leaves. Just as she was searching the forest bed with intense concentration some movement at the clearing drew her attention. It took her several moments to recognize Brunar's mom in the middle of the training grounds, playing around with a huge sword. A wide smile appeared on her lips, she raised her hand and called out. "Good afternoon my Lady!"

The lady tucked some long sweaty tendrils away from her face and turned around. She squinted against the setting sun whose rays were passing through the trees. "Oh, hello there…" She said.

Rhiannon walked in front of the blinding rays allowing Íth to see her face clearly. "Am I bothering you my Lady?" She curtsied.

Íth lowered her weapon and smiled. "No, not at all. I am just a little bit surprised. I thought I was alone."

Rhiannon lifted her basket. "I was just gathering some tea leaves for the Queen. They are in abundance here."

Íth pressed her lips. "I was… training…well at least somewhat." She sounded mildly apologetic.

Rhiannon raised her brows. "Don't worry I am not going to remain long. I just saw you from afar and wanted to say hi."

The corners of Ith's lips up-tilted. "I am alright, thank you for taking an interest in me dear girl…."

Rhiannon curtsied again.

Íth licked her upper lip and took a step closer. "Uhm did you by any chance see Brunar?"

Rhiannon smiled broadly. "Sure, he was still with the Queen and the children by the river."

Ith's eyelids fluttered. "He didn't ask for me at all then?"

"No, he seemed very happy and content where he was." Rhiannon rejoined.

Íth nodded softly. "You cannot imagine how relieved I am to hear that."

Rhiannon gazed at her curiously. "You are not used leaving him with other people, are you?"

Íth inhaled deeply. "Never."

"Well, he is doing fine without his mommy! Don't worry!" Rhiannon grinned.

Ith's lips turned down and her face filled with dissapointment.

Rhiannon reached out and cupped her shoulder. "That wasn't agreeable to you."

Íth raised her eyes at the very perceptive maiden and shook her head. "No."

Rhiannon smiled proudly. "All mothers are the same. They cannot wait for their children to become more independent but when they do, they don't like it. The Queen is not much different from you although she sometimes tries to act above it all, especially with Prince Durin."

Ith's lips ghosted a smile. "I can understand her…" –she stopped and looked at the ground. Then she reached out and clasped Rhiannon's hand- "Can I ask you a favor?"

Rhiannon reciprocated the touch. "Sure, anything."

Ith's eyes filled with dread. "Can you please keep him away from the waters? He doesn't know how to swim well and I know the Queen's children are adept swimmers…he might want to mimic them. I have already informed the Queen, just…please…keep an eye too. The more the people know the safer he is, right?"

Rhiannon pressed her hand. "Don't worry, the Queen is a mother of three. She knows what she is doing and besides she's barely alone. Princess Dis and Lady Valdis are constantly with her. So Brunar has many people to look after him. Me too now that I know! I will keep an extra eye on him."

Ith's sigh was full of relief. "Thank you, it means a lot."

Rhiannon smiled musingly. Then she looked at the tall trees. "Listen it won't take long for the sun to set. You sure you don't want to come back with me? You are all alone out here."

Íth pulled back and raised her sword. "No, really I am fine. I need to do this…alone…with no spectators. I am not afraid of the dark and I have a good horse with me. Go to my boy please, look after him and tell him I won't be long."

"Are you sure you are going to be okay here my Lady?" Rhiannon insisted.

Íth brandished her sword. "I am quite certain." She sounded determined and the fear Rhiannon noticed in her voice when she spoke about her son, was nowhere to be seen when she spoke about herself.

Rhiannon's mouth formed a small smile. "I'd better be going then. The Queen and the children must be waiting for me to return."

Ith's face softened. "You are a very good maiden Rhiannon."

The girl curtsied. "I am not just a maiden for the Queen. I am her sister…"

Ith's brows furrowed in confusion, but she remained silent.

Rhiannon smiled kindheartedly. "Good afternoon my Lady."

Ith's mouth cracked a ghostly smile. "Take care…"

Rhiannon left the dwarrowdam behind and sauntered up to the path that led to the high road in good spirits. Just as she was turning the bend she saw a patch of leaves that drew her attention near the base of a tree. She smiled brightly and went close to them. "Hey. Eilin would love these too…" She muttered and began pulling them from the roots in order to preserve and plant them in a pot later. She didn't even know how long she remained there plucking out herbs, but when she heard the unmistakable sound of horse hooves she frowned and looked above her shoulder.

There between the thick tree barks she saw a black steed and a brown thoroughbred stopping at the borders of the clearing. Lady Íth didn't seem to have noticed them as she was too concentrated at her training. Rhiannon's eyes shadowed suspiciously when she saw the King accompanied by the newly arrived Ranger standing there discussing, seemingly oblivious of Lady Íth. When the Ranger bowed to the King and set his horse in a trot leaving the King alone, Rhiannon frowned feeling even more concerned. When she saw the King's horse approaching the dwarrowdam, Rhiannon's stomach twisted uncomfortably and her brow arched. She stooped at the base of the tree not intending to miss a single thing from what she was seeing, despite the fact that she was too far away to hear what was being said between the King and Lady Íth.

* * *

Thorin leaned his elbows on the saddle and held the reins loosely between his fingers as his eyes scrutinized Lady Ith's attempts against her invisible enemy. As he counted her attacks, her parries and her counter attacks and while he judged with the most critical eye the steadiness of her legs but above all the confidence of her sword hand, the whispers he had head back in Dol Guldur lingered at the edge of his reality. They were a shadowy nothingness, that was barely heard and hardly understood…but the tone of that otherworldly voice was too vivid still. If he allowed his eyes to drift from the sword in the lady's hand and closed his eyes then this dark voice threatened to return and destroy his sanity. He closed his eyes and shook his head angrily. He didn't want the words he heard revisiting him now…he didn't want them revisiting him ever.

_Durin told me he hears whispers…maybe you should ask him as this thing seems to run on your side of the family…._

What kind of voices did his son hear? Were they a figment of his imagination or reality? Did Thorin even know how to discern what was real for himself and for his son? He was not so sure after what happened today in Dol Guldur. Did he truly hear Black Speech? If he did, the meaning of those words was utterly terrifying and he dreaded what they could be predicting for the future.

 _Maybe returning to the place that claimed your father…to the very place that almost claimed you, had been a bad idea..._ His mind reminded him.

Did Durin hear the same whispers when he came close to the Bald Hill? Was there even a remote chance his boy heard Black Speech also? Thorin could repeat the words he heard to Durin and observe his reaction to them, but he didn't want to taint Erebor and above all his boy's ears with that accursed filth. He didn't want his children to be in Mirkwood without escort, never mind approaching Dol Guldur as much as Durin did when the Ranger found them. Finding that Petty Dwarf that Thrárin had been trying to feed became a secondary concern in Thorin's mind. Whoever that man was –if he even existed- he certainly was less important than keeping his children away from the Hills of Dark Sorcery. He thought Thranduil and he had cleaned up the place well ten years ago, but was that true? Would it ever be possible to counter the dark magic that hid behind the veil? Not even the Lady of Light was able to see beyond it unless she ventured in. Who knew what was going on hidden inside the emptiness of these ruins? Not unless they demolished it to the ground would they ever be able to counter its malevolence sufficiently. He had discussed this plan with Thranduil several times and the Elven King insisted that even if they pulverized it to the last stone, the lands were saturated with a darkness that could return there whenever the Necromancer wished. It was his foothold between the North and the South and especially now that the Northern alliance had become so strong and overwhelming, he wouldn't allow this place to be overtaken by the forces of the light easily.

Knowing that the Necromancer had been actively trying to kill him for many years didn't settle down Thorin's concerns. The shadows didn't want Durin's heir alive….so they most certainly didn't want Durin the Deathless alive either. The birth of Durin the Seventh must have become a thorn at the side of the Eastern Darkness and Thorin was always vigilant of his children's safety. He was well aware the evil of this world would try to get rhem in some manner…especially Durin.

He never shared those fears with Eilin, because he didn't want her to raise their children under a shroud of terror. He didn't wish for his wife to live in constant fear. Nevertheless for him it was different. Even though he felt safe enough under the protection of Erebor's formidable army, the Mirkwood shield around them and his alliances with Dale, Rohan and the Northmen, he was still keeping a tireless eye over his children at all times.

Whenever they left Erebor without escort, his heart died a little and got revived only when he saw them return unharmed. However he didn't want to imprison them under the hawk eyes of the soldiers. His fears about the safety of Durin and his siblings had been shared with the Seven and special orders had been given to the Royal guards. Despite all that his formidable older son had managed to get away from everyone the other day, dragging along Thrárin with him.

That wouldn't have mattered much to Thorin as the boys didn't get out of Erebor's protection, but the fact that Durin started hearing whispers coincided too much for comfort with his visit in Dol Guldur. The moment Thorin heard –or thought he heard- whispering also when he approached those damned ruins, his suspicions became even more acute and the fear in his heart painfully icy.

Just because his kingdom was not actively engaged in war and just because his rule of the North was unconditional and prevailing, didn't mean the darkness wouldn't try to hurt him in some manner. What was the best way to destroy the King of the North and secure that his mighty heir wouldn't attempt to reclaim the Dwarrowdelf?

A strong shudder cascaded down Thorin's back and his brows knitted resolutely. He had to keep Durin away from Dol Guldur at all costs. "Keep your arm steady and your legs further apart." His mouth offered the advice without his mind being fully behind it as it was occupied with the apprehensive thoughts about the safety of his oldest son at that moment.

Lady Íth cried, took a sharp turn, lost her footing and fell down with a groan of pain.

Thorin cringed regretfully. "Damn…" He said and alighted quickly. He walked over and offered his hand.

She looked up panting without making an attempt to take it. "I almost died of fear…" Her voice was clearly accusing.

Thorin's face assumed an honestly apologetic smile. "Really I am sorry. I didn't even mean to interrupt you. My mouth decided for me." -He shrugged and kept his outstretched arm as a peace offering. She inhaled deeply and grasped it. He pulled her up and then quickly drew back to a more appropriate distance- "I thought you heard the horse." He added with a regretful tone.

Íth smiled uncomfortably and wiped the molded leaves away from her breeches. "I didn't my Lord. Forgive my biting manners, but you just took me by surprise. I chose this place in order to be alone and I was anything but that today."

Thorin pressed his lips and looked around them. "Well, these are the Royal training grounds so you made a good choice for isolation, nevertheless they are not private. Anyone can pass through at any time. I am sorry I scared you."

Íth cleared several long blonde tendrils away from her cheeks. "I cannot accuse you for riding through your lands, my Lord. Don't apologize."

Thorin crossed his palms quietly and looked at the forest. "I should have kept my mouth shut at least. You seemed deeply concentrated at your task, but unfortunately the swordsman in me couldn't keep silent."

Íth closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. "I was so ghastly that you had to correct me, right?"

Thorin's head tilted slightly. "I wouldn't call your performance ghastly….."

Íth raised her hand. "Don't try to be nice to me. I haven't trained for years. I am appalling and that was the main reason I chose to hide away in order to try this. I didn't want anyone to see me and I ended up performing for the best swordsman in the land...Ha!" She harked.

Thorin's lips curled up. "I don't think I hold such a formidable title."

Íth shook her head. "Don't fish for compliments. Everyone knows you are prevailing over everyone and that means I am dreadfully humiliated right now."

Thorin looked at his hands and smirked. "I never meant to become an unwilling witness to your first attempts in sword training again and make you feel bad. Forgive me."

Íth inhaled deeply and scrounged her lips. It took her several moments to speak. "You are forgiven!" Her tone was teasing.

He smiled. "Well thank you. That is a relief."

A few more silent moments before Íth continued. "So tell me…." She lingered, waiting for him to take over.

Thorin frowned. "Tell you what?"

Íth waved her hand in the air. "How terrible I was…."

Thorin raised his brows. "I wouldn't call you terrible, but I did notice a few things that need improvement."

Íth leaned down and picked up her sword. "A few…" –She snorted- "You are attempting to be polite with me again. I'd appreciate the truth."

Thorin crossed his arms and sighed.

She pointed at his body posture. "And you are also becoming defensive, which means what I said was pretty close to the truth..."

Thorin raised his brow. "Don't start with that again."

She gazed at him for several moments and then chuckled. "Is it annoying as hell?"

Thorin nodded quickly. "More than."

She pointed at him. "See? That is what my husband used to tell me."

Thorin smirked. "Cannot blame him."

Ith's shoulders slouched. "You are right. I will stop immediately. Besides I don't want to scare you into closing up tight. I want you to express yourself freely so I can interpret what you are wordlessly relating to me…"

He exhaled calmly. "I don't have anything to hide from anybody. Ask and I shall answer. You don't have to map out my body every time we talk. Besides who told you I cannot assume a body posture just to fool you?"

The Dwarrowdam raised her brows. "I thought you knew nothing about these things."

Thorin shook his head. "I don't, but I am very quick to learn. Picked up a few things already from you, so be careful not to give out all your tricks on a silver platter if you want to have an upper hand with this ability of yours. Besides as a King I am supposed to be engaging in politics and diplomacy, so I have to own some general idea of how to interpret someone's silent signals…generally speaking." He shrugged indifferently.

She smiled and rubbed her forehead. "Fine. I admit defeat my Lord…"

"Forget defeat and let us do a deal. You stop scrutinizing my postures and I will stop taking them on purpose just to see how good you are with them." Thorin added cleverly.

Íth looked at him sharply. "Did you try to test me?"

He tilted his head. "Yes."

The Lady sheathed her sword. "Never saw that coming."

The King smiled silently.

She looked at him amused. "So, what was the result of that test?"

"You have an acute ability to understand the moods of your interlocutor, which makes them feel uneasy at times and you desperately need to stop showing off." Thorin raised his brow calculatedly.

Íth smirked and crossed her arms. She looked at her boots. "Oh, that hurt a bit."

He placed his hands on his wide belt and looked at the tree tops that were moving slightly with the soft breeze. "Good, now you might stop with all this."

She snorted. "Damn, I must have annoyed you really bad."

Thorin's face mellowed. "You really haven't. I am just making some friendly observations."

Íth lifted her arms in the air in a signal of surrender. "My Lord and King, I will never try to act like a wise-ass with you ever again. Although I have to admit that all this began that evening at the staircase when I used it to make you smile a little bit. So originally it was for a good cause."

Thorin smiled quietly. "I remember. I was feeling rather dreadful that day."

Ith's arms fell defeated on her sides and her smile melted in a solemn gaze that engaged his. "You were a very concerned father. What can be sweeter than that? As a mother I empathized with you deeply."

"Well, thank you for doing so." Thorin tilted his head.

Ith's lips curled up amiably. "And thank you for helping me that day when Prince Thrárin tackled my son to the ground."

Thorin's brows came together as he pretended to recollect. "Oh, you mean the day your son beat the reason out of mine?"

She smiled remorsefully and gave him a quick nod. "Yes…"

"You helped me and I reciprocated. Now we are even." Thorin rejoined quietly.

The lady's fingers twisted around each other and she took several moments to speak again. "Not even per-se."

Thorin frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Now I owe you. You did more than simply help me overcome the fear for my son's safety the other day. You forced me to come out here today in order to train and that is a major step for me."

Thorin pulled back with a deep scowl. "How do you mean?"

Íth pointed behind her at the path that led out of the training grounds. "The day our kids fought playfully, you made me realize that I have to do the best I can to allow my boy to blossom and not suffocate him like I always did after his poor father died. I kept him under my wings all the time, allowing nothing to happen to him, because I fear losing him too. Do you understand?"

Thorin looked at his heavy boots and gave her a solemn nod. "More than you can imagine…" How many fears had taken over his reason for the safety of Durin all these years…How many times had he imagined -death contracts- on his son's head being signed every single day? How he wished wholeheartedly to keep him locked in the safest dungeon of Erebor until he came of age and then release him. But whom would take over the Throne of the North then? A man-child that hadn't been tested, that hadn't felt pain and dissapointment. A man-child that hadn't been allowed to grow up, to be hurt and to carry out trials against the roughness of the world. Someone who would have been denied the opportunity to fail repeatedly and grow stronger until he could become victorious against adversities. Oh, he understood only too well what this mother here was telling him. Much better than Eilin would ever understand and that was because he never allowed his wife to experience the fear that his heart was going through day after day. The fear this lady here shared with him against all odds.

"Did you hear me?" Íth frowned.

He shook his head, trying to clear it from all the consuming thoughts. "I…am sorry. I got lost for a moment. What did you tell me?"

She pulled back and crossed her hands. A serene smile appeared on her lips and she looked at him sweetly. "I was saying that your astute guidance persuaded me to allow Brunar some freedom to test himself and get hurt. But also it influenced me to pick up the sword again. I need to remember how to be fearless in order to make him fearless too."

He pinched his nose. "You are doing very well. I suppose this leap of faith needs a lot of mettle."

Her countenance filled with remorse. "It is certainly not easy, but I have to recover in order to allow Brunar to improve."

"Very prudent choices." Thorin nodded gently.

Íth heaved a sigh. "I made a mistake, which you made me recognize. I just hope I am not too late to change things."

Thorin's countenance filled with kindness. "He is young yet. He can be molded easily. Didn't you notice how quickly he changed the game with Thrárin?"

She nodded excitedly. "That is what prompted me to start this senseless endeavor, my Lord."

His features filled with serenity. "It is not senseless. You should try your hand with swords again first for your own benefit and then for your son."

Íth smiled enthusiastically. "If I can remember how to do it properly then maybe I can train my son too, right?"

"You don't trust your uncle Durar to do the job for you? He is one of my best commanders. Few will be better to train Brunar than him." Thorin raised his brow.

The lady pulled back and looked at her hands for several speechless moments. "I know he will take over eventually, but this is a trial I have to put myself through first and foremost. If I cannot get over this fear, how can I ever allow my boy to do so?"

Thorin's eyes fell on her deliberately for several moments, before glimmering with well-hidden admiration. "I understand my Lady and I respect your efforts to the utmost."

Íth rubbed her forehead. "My silly efforts you mean that need a lot of improvement, even though you were too kind and too discreet to tell me so before."

The King chuckled. "Well, truth is you could benefit from a tutor yourself."

She looked up at him sadly and it took her a few moments to express her thoughts. "I never had one after my husband. He always trained with me."

Thorin looked at her abruptly and his demeanor closed up. The thought of Eilin's beautiful face came to haunt him and he felt his heart twitching painfully. The past rolled like the heaviest boulder to bury him under its immense weight. He inhaled deeply and tried to stop himself from tearing up. "Did you end marrying the one who trained you in the art of war also?" The bitterness was ever so slightly discernible in his voice.

Ith's lips parted. "Yes. You and the Queen too?"

A miserable smile spread on his lips. "Yes."

"That is so sweet my Lord."

He huffed. "I suppose training and romance carry between them a mysterious bond that my mind cannot comprehend."

She laughed and nodded. "I think so too my Lord."

Thorin remained silent and his demeanor fell at the memories this conversation awoke in him. That first archery lesson with Eilin, which led them to these very same training grounds. Then their first kiss and the first skirting of their hearts. How he missed those early days now that everything felt so overpowering. He turned around trying to locate the tree she had pushed him on when she gave him that kiss. A first touch that should have been bashful and reluctant, but ended up becoming furious and all-consuming, much like their whole relationship was after that.

Ith's gentle voice intruded his senses once more. "So then I suppose asking you for some tutoring would be imprudent my Lord, correct?"

Thorin tried to clear his mind and looked at her with a frown. "Come again?"

"Because of that mysterious bond between romance and training?" Ith's brows rose and a playful smile formed on her lips.

Thorin resolved to partially confused silence and a blunt expression.

Íth drew back and blushed. "That was an attempt at a joke Sir, which apparently didn't echo nicely with you. I am sorry."

Thorin exhaled in relief and his lips ghosted a smile. "Don't worry, I seem to be out of sorts today. It is not your attempts for a pleasant conversation that are failing. It is my weird mood."

She nodded. "So you are not available for sword training then?"

Thorin looked at her deeply.

She raised her hand. "Without any inappropriate jokes. Just asking as a friend."

Thorin drew back and his hand touched his forehead that was beginning to form a throbbing pain. "I fear that would be rather impossible my Lady…forgive me."

The lady cringed and looked away visibly embarrassed. "I have to apologize for offending you. I didn't mean to sound insolent."

Thorin closed his eyes and felt the traces of those terrifying whispers edging his thoughts, teasing him once more. Why did they appear again out of bloody nowhere? He forced himself to reply. "You didn't offend me, truly. Listen, I am torn between my family and ruling the North. My time is rather limited. You should really ask Durar for help. He is the best man for the job, I assure you of that." His voice sounded diminished.

Íth heard the change in his voice and her eyed narrowed. "I will my Lord, but…are you alright? You seem rather pale all of a sudden."

He raised his hand and shook his head. "Yes, perfectly fine." He hurried through.

She took a few steps and grasped his bicep. "You don't seem all that well …" She repeated genially concerned.

He heard her voice coming from afar this time…muted and muffled. A sharp pain tore his head in two and he frowned as a sudden bout of dizziness swept him off his balance. He took a deep breath and grabbed the saddle for support. He observed the forest that surrounded them with a foggy stare. The whispers were too far away too be heard, too obscure to really exist, yet for some reason he knew they were still there. Just waiting to bust through the doors of his consciousness and become a scream that would be loud enough to make his ears bleed. He felt her firm fingers circling around his arm, trying to keep him grounded.

"Hey...can you hear me?" She asked.

"My head is rather heavy, that's all. I didn't sleep well last night." He tried to sound convincing.

Ith's worried eyes remained on his face. "Do you want me to help you?"

He patted her hand gently. "No, thank you" -He pulled himself on the horse and took hold of the reins- "I really must return to Erebor. You want me to accompany you? There are places there you can train in privacy. Don't ride so far out alone."

She looked around her and crossed her arms. "But this place is under the protection of Erebor and Mirkwood, isn't it my Lord?"

Thorin looked at the forest and felt like a complete fool. The sudden wave of fear that had overtaken him and the dizziness seemed to be slowly fading away, allowing him to see things again more clearly.

 _Fear is prudence in the face of danger…._ The voice of his father reminded him.

He swallowed heavily and looked at her. "Indeed it is…" –He humphed, trying to laugh away the confusion in his mind- "I must sound completely crazy to you right now. I am sorry. I don't know what came over me. Of course it is safe to remain here and train for as long as you wish." He tried to force himself out of that weird mood that took over him after his visit at Dol Guldur. This lady was not in any danger. This place was part of his kingdom. His troops were keeping his lands secure. He'd do well to pull himself together and stop scaring his court like that.

Íth smiled restlessly. "Are you sure everything is fine? It seems like something has overtaken you all of a sudden."

Thorin nodded quickly. "Yes, all is well and I know I will sound ill-mannered right now, but I have to go."

"Will you please forgive me for making you feel uncomfortable a few moments ago?" Ith's face was crimson from shame.

His eyelids fluttered in confusion. "About what?" He felt honesty bewildered.

She nibbled her bottom lip. "About asking your assistance with sword training."

Thorin closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. "Of course you didn't offend me." -He still felt partially disordered and out of place somehow. What the hell had come over him all of a sudden? This woman's words just happened to innocently remind him of those beloved early days with Eilin. Then all of a sudden a wave of terror gripped his guts and drenched him in its totality and these whispers returned with the ultimate threat to overthrow him. Maybe he just needed some rest plain and simple- "Do you wish me to accompany you back?" He choked the smile out of him.

Íth shook her head nervously. "I was hoping to train a while longer if you don't mind…"

His lips were smiling, but there was darkness in his eyes. "Stay here and do so then. You are perfectly safe."

She gave him a hesitant smile. "Thank you for stopping by."

The King inclined his head inattentively. "Good evening."

Íth curtsied deeply. "Good evening your Majesty." She whispered and looked at him disconcert as he set his horse in a fast trot that ended up to a full blown gallop when he left the path that led to the High Road of Erebor.


	10. A reason to trust

 

"Rhianaye, stop eating!" Thrárin snapped.

Rhianaye looked at him acutely. "Are you serious? I am hungry!"

Thrárin stood up and removed her plate.

"Hey!" Rhianaye followed him and tried to take it back, resulting in the remaining porridge to end up on the floor.

Thrárin pulled the empty plate away. "Let me go! See what you did now? You ruined daddy's porridge!"

Rhianaye pushed him and Thrárin landed on the messy floor. "OW!" He howled.

Rhianaye stuck her tongue out. "That's what you get from trying to interfere with my food, midget!"

Thrárin crossed his arms and sniffled. "I am going to tell daddy!"

Rhianaye marched back to the table and sat down proudly. "Tell him whatever you wish. Dad will be mad that you tried to interfere with my second helpings. You know how much he wants me to eat better."

Lis walked over and picked Thrárin up. "You okay, little Lord?"

Thrárin looked at her through teary eyes. "I am okay." –Then he turned angrily to his sister- "I wanted that porridge! Now look what you did!" He pointed to the floor.

Rhianaye crossed her arms. "I didn't do that. You did it! Now you clean it up!"

Lis rolled her eyes and tried to clean Thrárin's breaches. "You need to change and I need to wipe the floor before your mother sees it and gets pissed off with all of us."

Durin chuckled and took another spoonful of his food. "They deserve some punishment."

Rhianaye eyed him. "Oh, get off your high horse."

"Stop acting like a brat. Thrárin is right. You shouldn't have eaten so much and you made him drop the plate." Durin rejoined indifferently.

"Are you siding with the midget now?" Rhianaye sounded incredulous.

Thrárin stomped his foot. "I am not a midget."

Rhianaye lifted her eyebrow and sniggered. "Oh, yeah you are…."

Thrárin crossed his arms and his mouth curled down. "Brat…" He rebuked.

Rhianaye made to have another go at him, but Durin's heavy voice stopped her.

"Leave him alone…"

"What's up with you today?" Rhianaye scowled. She wasn't used of her twin siding with their baby brother.

"He didn't do anything to you. Lay off his case." Durin rejoined austerely.

Rhianaye lips pouted. "He took my food away before I had the chance to finish it!"

"You ate a full plate already." Durin dismissed her truly bothered.

Thrárin crossed his arms. "Yeah you did!" He pointed at her.

Rhianaye glowered at both of them. "What's your issue? Dad made enough porridge to feed an army! It's not as if I ate your servings!"

Thrárin took a chair and brought it next to the stone stove that had coals burning under it in order to keep the soup warm. "Daddy made all this for me and I want it all!"

Rhianaye pressed her lips. "Whatever for? It's not as if you are going to eat it all by yourself."

Thrárin peeped inside the large pot eagerly. "It's not only for me stupid."

Rhianaye glowered. "I am not stupid. You are!"

Durin snorted. "You both are at this moment."

Rhianaye tried to silence her twin with her ferocious glare, which he reciprocated apathetically.

"I want to take food to mister Nameless and he is very hungry and big. He will want to eat all of it so don't go around spilling it to the floor." Thrárin admonished.

The soup took the wrong turn and ended up chocking Durin.

Lis freaked out and rushed over to him. She began thwarting his back ferociously. "Come on Lord Durin, breathe…have some water…."

It took Durin several moments to stop coughing like mad and when he looked up his eyes were teary and his face pale. "What the hell Thrárin…" he hissed.

Thrárin was looking at him with wide innocent eyes. "You okay?" he flashed a toothless grin at his brother.

Rhianaye leaned back and crossed her arms with a sudden flare in her beautiful green eyes. "Who's Nameless?" She asked.

Durin coughed and turned to her crossly. "You pretend like you didn't hear anything" –He warned her. Then he turned to Thrárin and pointed at him- "And you shut your mouth!"

Thrárin frowned. "What did I do? I just said that I want to take the food to mister Nameless."

Rhianaye's face lit up with a cunning smile. "Oh, do tell brother dear who is mister Nameless…?"

Durin pushed Lis away. "Leave me."

Lis pulled back with a deep frown. "Are you okay?"

Durin nodded and rushed to get to his baby brother. He grabbed him by the arm and pulled him down from the chair. "I think that is enough…don't you?" His eyes thinned on Thrárin.

The young Prince looked bewildered. "I didn't say anything bad."

Rhianaye knelt down in front of Thrárin and caressed his red curls away from his eyes. "You said something about Nameless. Who is he?"

Thrárin looked at her and began poking his nose. "Just a Dwarf we met in the woods."

Durin's face blanched. "Can you stop talking, please?" He jerked his little brother hard.

Thrárin howled. "Hey, stop it!"

Rhianaye pulled Thrárin away from Durin's grip. "Will you stop mishandling our baby brother before I tell mom about it?"

Durin's face was unable to hide his resentment at what she was trying to do. "You were calling him a bloody midget a few moments ago. Why do you come to his defense now?"

"Why not? Are you the only one allowed to come to his defense then?" Rhianaye rebuked.

"You are only doing this so he can tell you more." Durin crossed his arms feeling irksome.

Rhianaye embraced Thrárin who settled in her arms. "Of course I am. I need to know who my baby brother saw in the forest in order to be able to protect him."

"Protect him from what? He is not in any danger now and when he needed protection I was there for him." Durin hurled back at her.

"Oh, did you?" Rhianaye spat.

Thrárin pushed his sister away and went to Durin. He wrapped his arms around his waist. "He did protect me a lot, but mister Nameless wasn't mean to us. Well, he was a little bit at first and he scared us, but then he was nice."

Durin embraced his brother. "Still he gave me the creeps."

Thrárin sniffled and leaned his head on Durin's stomach. "He protected us from that black hill, didn't he? He told us to get away from it."

Durin pressed his lips. "He told us to get the hell away in general. There's a difference." –Then he turned to Lis- "As for you…you didn't hear anything. If you tell dad I am going to ask for another bodyguard, I swear."

Lis paled. "I won't say anything Sir, but isn't keeping such a secret dangerous for you?"

Durin looked absolutely fed up with all of them. "Dangerous how? Do you think a Petty Dwarf is going to storm Erebor in order to do us in? He had his chance when we were alone at his mercy in the forest and he didn't do anything to us. He was just a beggar in the middle of nowhere. His clothes were torn apart, he was filthy, starving and positively disheveled. I don't think he had the strength to lift his bow in order to hunt down his own food never mind be a threat to us, even though at first he fooled me."

"No, he was not bad to us." Thrárin agreed.

Rhianaye sat down and leaned her forearms on her knees. "So why didn't you tell dad?" She lost all her need to irritate her siblings the moment she saw how truthful Durin's answer was.

Durin sighed. "Because snotty here didn't want dad to arrest Nameless. He grew fond of him apparently."

Rhianaye pressed her lips. "Did he tell you that was his name?"

"No, Durin gave it to him." Thrárin chimed in.

Rhianaye shrugged. "So what was he doing there, did he tell you?"

"He said he was on his way out. He didn't seem to mean any harm, though." Durin replied warily.

Lis crossed her arms. "Still, the King must learn of this encounter Prince Durin."

He send her such an aggressive glare the girl instantly shrunk away from him. "Do you want to remain as my bodyguard?"

Lis blanched. "I want nothing more than that."

Durin raised his brow. "Then you must also become my confidant and that means you must learn how to keep my secrets."

Lis gave him a fearful nod. "Your confidant?" She whispered. That was an exceptional honor for her.

Durin continued. "You think uncle Dwalin never kept dad's secrets safe from granddad Thrain?"

Lis was looking at him bug-eyed.

"He kept dad's secrets safe from the whole world, so that is what you must also do for me if you want to be my defender!" Durin said sternly.

Lis bowed her head and touched her heart. "As you command Sir."

Durin tilted his head feeling partially satisfied and then looked at his sister. "So now you all know about Nameless. Big secret, which wasn't so big to begin with, is out."

Rhianaye frowned towards Thrárin. "That's why you asked dad to make so much food? You wanted to take it to Nameless?"

Thrárin sniffled and wiped his nose with the edge of his oversized tunic. "Yeah, he was really hungry. He said he was farnished."

"Famished." Durin corrected.

Thrárin nodded. "Yeah that! So when are we going to take the food to him?"

Durin glowered. "What do you mean take him the food? This pot isn't going anywhere."

Thrárin stomped his foot down and tried to imitate Durin's ferocious glare. "I told dad to make all this so we can feed mister Nameless!"

Rhianaye snorted and cupped her mouth. "I am sure you didn't say these exact words snotty or he'd have us all under house arrest by now. Oh, dad is going to be pissed off if he finds out you made him labor for a Petty Dwarf."

Thrárin looked at her angrily. "He was hungry!"

Rhianaye crossed her arms. "So am I, but I don't see you making such a big fuss about it."

Thrárin marched up to the pot and tried to take it off the stove. "Fine, I will take it myself!" He sounded determined.

Lis stopped him. "Careful young Prince, this is too heavy for you."

"Look at the midget trying to act like a hero…." Rhianaye snickered.

Durin gave her a rather commanding glance. "Don't put him down."

Rhianaye flayed her arms. "I am getting tired of you sticking up for him honestly. What happened to our twin pledge? You know…always have each other's back?"

Durin came over to Thrárin and knelt in front of him. "Not against snotty here. Get your head together Rhianaye" –he admonished and then tucked Thrárin's hair away from his forehead- "Besides his heart is in the right place. He just wants to feed the homeless, which I don't find all that bad."

Rhianaye pointed at them. "Well fine, whatever. Just beware...If you boys ever try to do that, count me in. I am not staying behind and if you try to try to do it secretly I am going to tell dad."

Durin glared at her. "You are a holy terror."

Rhianaye crossed her arms. "I am tired of always staying home, that is what I am. If you go in Mirkwood I am coming along to see this Petty Dwarf."

"I hope you aren't going to do such a thing Prince Durin." Lis murmured fearfully.

He gazed at her firmly. "Or else?"

Lis lowered her eyes. "Or else nothing. I pledged myself to you already, what more do you want? I will keep silent, but I will follow you. You are not going alone in Mirkwood without me."

Durin pressed his lips and turned to Thrárin. "Don't worry, no one is going to search for Nameless. Okay snotty?"

Thrárin red well-formed brows met above his beautiful azure eyes. "I want to feed the mister! Mom says that we must always offer help to those who need it."

Durin shook his head and looked at him with his equally dazzling eyes. "Snotty, that man didn't need any food from us. What he needed was to pick up his things and get out of Mirkwood. If dad finds out he is there he is going to arrest him. You want that to happen?"

Thrárin's lip pouted and he shook his head. "No."

"Now if dad finds out I let you go in there to feed him, he is going to kill me. Do you want that?" Durin continued.

Rhianaye sighed and watched them carefully.

"No…" Thrárin's eyes filled with tears.

Durin grasped his shoulders. " I am your big brother and I must protect you. You are not going again in that forest without me and that goes out for all of you" –he gave a warning glance to Rhianaye who scrounged her nose at him- "You know I hate rules, but last time I really got scared for you. So much that I don't intend to repeat that mistake again."

Thrárin sniffled and wiped his nose with the back of his sleeve. "So what about Nameless? Is he going to stay hungry?"

Durin raffled his hair playfully and stood up. "He is already long gone and I am sure he is already hunting around Beorn’s forest by now. Didn't you see how beautiful his bow was? He must be quite an archer in order to have such an impressive weapon. Therefore he is more than capable to get his own food."

Rhianaye tilted her head. "Yeah, you are probably right."

Thrárin didn't look convinced, but he remained silent.

Durin looked around at all of them. "So today's conversation never took place. You" –He pointed at Lis- "And you" –he turned to Rhianaye- "Didn't hear anything about Nameless. You both keep it a secret, get it? If dad finds him and arrests him, snotty over there is going to go into a meltdown."

Thrárin's eyes grew wide. "I don't want Nameless in the dungeons!"

Durin waved him off. "Don't worry they won't say anything, right?" He looked insistently both at his sister and at Lis.

Rhianaye rolled her eyes looking absolutely bored. "Yeah whatever, but if you guys decide to go find him, I am in."

Durin shook his head with a cringe. "No one is going. Period." –Then he turned to Lis- "How about you?"

Lis bowed her head and touched her chest. "Your secrets are mine to protect my Lord."

Durin smiled at her pleased. "There is hope for you yet…" -He said and then turned to Thrárin- "As for you snotty, you forget all about Nameless and any plans to go find him in the woods, especially alone. Deal?"

Thrárin crossed his arms and remained silent.

Durin's eyes thinned on him. "Is that a deal?"

Thrárin nodded. "Yeah I guess…" he murmured, but his heart was not in it.

Durin looked at him suspiciously, trying to decide if he was indeed truthful. That is when the door opened up and the solemn face of their father made its appearance. Thrárin and Rhianaye abandoned their places and flogged him.

"Daddy!" Thrárin yelled.

"Did you come to eat with us?" Rhianaye smiled up at him as he gave a soft kiss on her forehead.

"No, I just came to check on you before I go to mom. Did you eat anything?" Thorin looked at the large pot.

Thrárin squeezed his little arms around his dad's waist lovingly. "I got two servings daddy!"

Thorin lifted him up and cupped his cheek. "Did you like it big guy?"

Thrárin snuggled under his chin. "I loved it! Thank you for making so much!"

Thorin smiled and tightened his arm around Rhianaye's shoulder. His eyes looked searchingly at his oldest son who didn't make any attempt to approach or greet him. Durin's face seemed way too preoccupied for his usually rebellious disposition. Thorin's honest smile faded away into something much more forced, mildly worried and far less genuine. "How about you? Did you like the food?" He addressed his son.

Durin looked up briefly and a fleeting smile formed on his lips. "It was okay dad."

Thorin's eyes remained on Durin troubled for several silent moments. "So what are your plans for today?"

Rhianaye drew back with a huge grin on her beautiful face. "We'd like to go swimming and maybe have a picnic."

Thorin planted another kiss on Thrárin's forehead, before putting him down. "With mom and auntie Dis?"

Rhianaye pressed her lips. "Nah, with you…"

Thorin seemed to be taken aback. "I have a lot of work petal. I cannot join you."

Durin twisted his spoon around his food. "As usual." He murmured.

Thorin's eyes fell on him carefully, but he remained silent on that reproach.

Rhianaye clasped Thorin’s hand. She pressed it on her soft cheek. "Can't you take the day off dad, just for today? The weather is amazing. Up here the nice days are few. Come with us, please…please….please…."

Thrárin joined in, clapping his hands enthusiastically. "Yes, please …..please….please….We can go get mommy too and we can all go together!"

Durin humphed. "Leave him alone snotty. He's got things on his mind, he is not in a mood for a swim. He is also still probably mad with mom."

Thorin pulled Rhianaye close to him and looked sadly at Durin. "You know the North cannot be ruled by itself son." His voice was relatively calm, but his heart was pounding hard when he realized that Durin understood far more about the troubles of his parents than they had realized.

Durin waved him off. "I know dad. Go to work and we will go swimming with Lis. It's fine."

Thorin looked at the girl long and hard. Then he cleared his throat. "Lis, take Rhianaye and Thrárin down by the river please."

Lis animated and bowed her head. "Right now Sir?"

Thorin nodded. "Yes."

Rhianaye pulled Thorin down so she could give a firm kiss on his cheek. "Are you sure you cannot come dad? It'd be nice…."

Thorin caressed her jawline lovingly. "Go with Lis gem. Give me some time."

Rhianaye rolled her eyes. "Fine dad, come on Thrárin…." She offered her hand.

The young Prince clasped it and followed, quite oblivious of the tension between Thorin and his oldest son. Durin stood up and got ready to follow when Thorin's hand fell on his shoulder detaining him. "Not you."

Rhianaye looked back confused.

Thorin gave her a curt nod. "I need to talk with your brother. Go."

Lis smiled and turned to the kids. "Come on, whoever reaches the shore last is a rotten egg…." She teased.

Thrárin screeched and dashed up the stairs faster than the wind and Rhianaye followed with the same fervor. When the door closed behind them Thorin and Durin remained frozen for several moments.

"Did you hear our argument the other night?" Thorin asked quietly.

Durin pulled away bothered and went to the table. He sat down and crossed his arms. A soft nod was the only answer he gave.

Thorin followed and took a seat across him. "I am sorry you had to listen to this. It was never our intention to wake you up."

"It is never your intention, but it happens often dad." Durin's azure eyes were almost accusing.

Thorin sighed and looked sadly at his crossed hands. "I know my boy."

Durin's lips tilted sideways and his brows arched. "So what did you fight about?"

Thorin exhaled heavily. "That is something between me and your mom."

Durin humphed. "Was it about grandad Othin? I know it was, don't lie to me."

Thorin raised his brow. "Our arguments have many reasons and it is not your place to ask about them."

Durin's jawline flexed. "You mean I am too young to know, right? Well, apparently I am not too young to be awoken by your arguments! That's kind of twofaced isn't it?"

Thorin faltered. "You feel the need to lash out and I am not going to stop you. Get angry with me, but also try to be more understanding. Adult life is not easy. Marriage is even more difficult that you can imagine."

Durin raised his hand. "I don't need a lecture on adulthood."

Thorin reached up and clasped his hand. Durin tried to pull it away, but Thorin secured it. "Then allow me to justify myself to you…"

Durin's eyes watered.

Thorin clutched his hand tightly. "Because you deserve it. You and your siblings."

Durin looked away.

It took Thorin several moments to reflect about how to express his feelings to his highly perceptive son. When he spoke his voice was composed. "Your mom and I are going through some rough times. I cannot overburden your mind with our troubles, but know that I love her more than my life…as I love you children. You hear anger in our voices, but the same anger doesn't reside in our hearts. There is only sadness there and sometimes bitterness, but you know what? Life can get unexpectedly hard sometimes and even the happiest families go through some dark moments. That shouldn't scare you though, because both your mom and I are dedicated to love and shelter all of you, no matter the difficulties between us."

Durin spoke over him and the distress rung clear in his voice. "Are you and mom going to break up?"

Thorin's brow creased. "Dwarves don't break up their marriages son…I thought you knew that."

Durin wiped away a few tears that cascaded down his nose and sniffled. "Uncle Balin and I were reading some Elder books that mentioned famous broken marriages."

Thorin licked his lips. "Probably they were speaking of the rarest cases of infidelity, murder or theft. We are not impeccable to errors of judgement and there are sporadic circumstances that would excuse the breaking of a marriage, but in the thousands of years since our forefathers first woke up, I doubt the cases you read amounted to more than a few." –He pressed Durin's hand and smiled uncomfortably- "Right?"

Durin smirked and nodded quickly. "Yeah…I suppose."

"So what does that say to you?"

Durin looked up and sniffed. "That you and mom are not going to break up?"

Thorin smiled and cupped his cheek affectionately. "Of course we won't. Your mother is my other half. No matter how frustrated we might become with one another, we always have each other's backs. We love each other and we will never draw apart. That doesn't mean that we won't argue though. We are not much different from you and Rhianaye. You constantly bicker, but you love each other, right?"

Durin's mouth formed a sad smile. "Yes."

Thorin tilted his head. "Well that's me and your mom…"

Durin exhaled hard and closed his eyes. "Rhianaye is worried …she heard you also."

Thorin caressed Durin's hand. "Then you must settle down her worries like the protective big brother that you are…"

Durin's faded smile became wider. "Thanks dad."

Thorin frowned. "For what?"

Durin shrugged and wiped his nose. "For making me feel better."

Thorin pulled him in and Durin didn't resist. "I'll do anything to make you feel better….and I must ask your forgiveness for making you feel insecure and anxious."

Durin leaned his head on Thorin's wide shoulder. "I wish I could stop time. I don't want to grow up."

"Why is that?" Thorin whispered and caressed his back gently.

"The more I grow up the more I understand. The more I understand the less I like what I see. Thrárin is so lucky."

Thorin exhaled quietly. "Truth is the more we grow the more disappointed we get at life and people, but you mustn't allow your heart to forsaken hope and trust in others. Especially your parents and your siblings."

Durin nodded and started twisting one of Thorin's warrior braids between his fingers. "I won't…I promise."

Thorin closed his eyes. "Forgive us for worrying you so. We will try better next time. As childhood is a learning experience for you and your siblings, so is marriage and parenthood a learning experience for me and your mom."

Durin nodded. "Is it?"

Thorin smiled and kissed his forehead. "Are children born knowing everything?"

Durin shook his head.

"Parents don't know anything before having children either. They learn as they go along and that means they make mistakes and try to improve from them. Same goes for marriages my boy." Thorin rejoined gently.

"I understand dad…I am sorry I was angry at you." Durin murmured.

Thorin gifted his temple with another kiss. "Be as angry with me as you want, just give me a chance to settle your fears."

Durin nodded. "Alright…"

It took Thorin several moments to calm down and he rested his chin on Durin's head. "Your mom told me you heard whispers the other day you were in the forest." He threw the question out without any hopes that Durin would answer, but he was surprised.

Durin's shoulders undulated with his sigh. "Yeah, I did."

"Can you describe them?" Thorin frowned.

Durin's eyes looked searchingly at Thorin's golden embroidered lapels. "I don't remember them all that well."

"Can you tell me exactly what happened and above all where?" Thorin rejoined.

"We were at the borders of Mirkwood searching for squirrels and as we were playing I started hearing a buzz, which became clearer and clearer until I could hear a distant whisper that seemed to be coming from all over the forest. I asked mom and Rhianaye and they said they couldn't hear anything. I asked Thrárin, he didn't either. Do you think the whispers were coming from the forest or from my mind?" Durin pulled back and looked at him seriously.

Thorin cupped his cheek and grimaced. "I am not sure."

Alarm toyed in Durin's eyes. "Do you think I am going mad? No one else heard them."

Thorin's brows wrinkled and his eyes clouded. "Then we are both mad."

Durin's lips parted. "You can hear them too?"

Thorin nodded gently. "Yes, after visiting Dol Guldur. Did you notice if the whispers started after you saw the Bald Hill?"

Durin's eyes gleamed suddenly. "I don't know dad…I think they did."

Thorin gritted his teeth and looked at him attentively. "Listen son I want you to do me a favor. Don't approach the Bald Hill ever again, not even with escort."

Durin frowned confused. "So am I to stay out of Mirkwood forever?"

"No, just stay away from Dol Guldur. Don't allow your siblings close to it either. That place is not good for us. Can you do that for me please?" Thorin's voice was full of bottled-up emotion.

Durin nodded eagerly. "I won't go near it dad. I hate it!"

Thorin closed his eyes and leaned his forehead on Durin's. "I don't want you to feel imprisoned. You are free to roam our lands and venture in Mirkwood and I don't want the guards to follow you around and impose at your games with your siblings, but promise me that you will always take Lis with you. She is close to entering adulthood and she has been trained by the best. If anything goes wrong she will raise hell for you."

Durin smiled. "Okay dad…"

Thorin embraced him and closed his eyes. "Please be careful out there …I beg you."

Durin nodded readily. "I will, I promise. On my word of honor. I will be careful for me and for my siblings.

Thorin pulled back and smiled at him fondly. "There's my powerful warrior. Now…how about that swim in the river…the weather being so great and what have you? Are you going to let this beautiful day go to waste?"

Durin shook his head and stood up happily. "No, I'll go find Rhianaye and Thrárin now!"

Thorin clasped his hand and stopped him. "I'll come join you soon."

Durin's eyes grew wide. "What about your work?"

Thorin's lips tilted up. "It can wait. I will go fetch mom and we shall meet you by the river."

Durin's face beamed with a most dazzling smile. He fell on Thorin with enthusiasm and kissed him hard. "Thanks dad! I owe you one!"

Thorin patted his back and smiled. "I'll hold you to that. Now go."

Durin gave him another happy smile and then rushed out of the kitchens. Thorin leaned his face on his palm, closed his eyes and exhaled hard.

* * *

 

The King leaned his body against the wall and closed his eyes. "Is she in there?"

Dis did the same. "Yeah. You do know you keep messing up with her, don't you?"

Thorin didn't open his eyes. "I seem to be doing that a lot lately. Is she mad at me?"

Dis pressed her lips. "I'd say she's rather annoyed that you didn't sleep in your bed at night. What the hell got into you Thorin? Falling asleep in the kitchens!" She sounded accusing.

Thorin's eyes opened. "Rhiannon told her…"

"Of course she did! That girl is Eilin's sister. She will tell her everything that she notices about you, bare that in mind!" Dis snapped and then observed him quietly for several moments.

Thorin humphed. "So I have a spy on my tail."

Dis frowned. "A spy? More like a devoted friend of your wife. People who fear spies have things to hide."

Thorin pursed his lips. "I have nothing to hide." He rejoined strictly.

Dis looked at him doubtfully for a few moments. "So what happened? Why did you sleep down there?"

Thorin rubbed his forehead. "I didn't do it on purpose. I was simply exhausted."

"No one said you did it on purpose, but if you were so tired why didn't you remain in your rooms to sleep. That's what confuses me." Dis rejoined.

Thorin visibly dawdled.

Dis pressed her lips. "Did you have another fight?"

Thorin looked away."Yes and after that I was not in the mood to sleep. I went down to cook Thrárin the food he asked me. As I waited for the chicken to boil I feel asleep upright. After that I remember little else."

Dis' eyes filled with sadness. "You must have been truly spent."

A gentle nod came from the King. "I was."

Her hand landed on his forearm. "What is going on with you two?"

His eyes looked drained. "Nothing you don’t already know."

"She needed when she saw that nasty nightmare. I think that is why she snapped at you." Dis' voice mellowed up when she saw how shattered her brother looked.

"I know." Came the quiet reply.

"Did she tell you what it was about?" Her eyes were unyielding.

"No, but I presume it was the cottage…" He shook his head.

Dis nodded. "She heard her father warning her about the state of your marriage."

Thorin looked up sharply at that.

Dis pursed her lips. "It seems that she feels she is messing up too."

Thorin crossed his arms and looked at the floor.

"You both know this is wearing you. Talk with all the love you both feel in your hearts and you will find a solution, I promise." Dis smiled and caressed his forearm.

"I tried to talk about it before and we ended up in another fight." His voice sounded defeated.

Dis' finger pressed him tightly. "Then try again, again and again. Try as many times as you need and allow her to try also. Couples have ups and downs. This is a new low for both of you, but that is what a marriage is all about wolf. To discuss and solve problems…together."

Thorin looked at her solemnly. "I know."

Her smile was sweet. "Honey moon is over for you. You have been sharing your life with this woman eleven years now and you have three kids. All these obligations can create tension, which is understandable and expected. You guys must push your wounded egos aside, sit down, look at each other lovingly and discuss. Say exactly how you feel and tell her exactly what you need from her."

Thorin blew a whole bout of annoyance. "Did you give the same advice to her or is your solicitude only meant to chock me?"

Dis shrugged. "Of course I did."

A ghostly smile broke the sadness of his lips. "Thanks gerbil."

Dis pulled him in a hug that he reciprocated. "Remember, I am always here for you darling."

Thorin pressed his arms around her as she planted a firm kiss on his cheek. Then he pulled back. "I am going in…"

She opened the door for him. "Good luck."

When he entered he saw lady Valdis, Rhiannon and a couple of other ladies in waiting brushing the Queen's lush curly hair that were reaching low below her waistline. Thorin's heart skirted. Everyone turned to look at him and he gestured silently to the door. They curtsied and scattered out of the room.

Eilin didn't open her eyes. She just assumed it was the Princess who had send everyone away. "If you did this so we can discuss about Thorin again, there is no point. I understand everything you told me…" She said quietly.

Thorin walked over to her and reached out to touch her hair. He didn't speak.

"Dis come on….don't use the silent treatment with me. I am still angry at him, but I had my part to play in all this. I was not without fault. I went searching for trouble ….." Eilin exhaled roughly through her nose.

Thorin's hands picked up her hair and split it into three parts. Then he began braiding them gently.

"Fine, I will try not to get in another fight with him, are you pleased now? Even though I need explanations, I will try to approach him gently as you suggested. Although I am not sure it is going to work all that well. I tried to do so yesterday and he pushed me away."

Thorin leaned down and his lips touched her shoulder line gently. "Maybe you should try again men gehyith." His rich whisper filled the room with its vibrato.

Eilin inhaled sharply and turned around. "Thorin…" She exhaled.

His face was mere inches from hers. "Did I scare you?" He spoke in a hushed tone.

Eilin's hand came up to cup his cheek and a soft smile appeared on her lips. "Was I talking to you all this time?"

He nodded gently and placed the half made braid above her shoulder. Then his arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her in. "Are you mad at me?"

She looked at his mouth and frowned. "I cannot be truly mad at you now that you are holding me this way."

Thorin swallowed heavily and felt his stomach twisting around in sweet expectancy. Did Eilin really think he had no more passion for her? How mistaken she was. Was it even wise of him to share the wet dream that woke him up that morning or was it too embarrassing to admit that he missed her intimacy so much that he was dreaming about it? He closed the distance between them until his mouth could imprison hers gently.

She gasped and her fingers tensed on his bearded cheek. A broken exhalation was the only thing that came out of her mouth as his tongue came out to tease a deeper kiss out of her. He didn't truly hope that she would reciprocate his touch after what happened the last few days, but when she did his whole body erupted with a sensual buzz he wasn't expecting. As his tongue twirled around hers greedily, his arms held her tightly, wishing to keep her locked there forever.

His profound and rather unexpected probing left Eilin breathless in his arms. For several moments he twisted her around to his will, delighting in his ability to still wake up the want in her, after all these years, after three kids and despite all these arguments. Was it enough though? She didn't seem unwilling to follow him where his mouth and hands were leading them, but still was it what they needed? Hadn't he perchance stopped her advances the other night in order to talk with her? Was it proper for him to allow the residues of that wet dream take over his logic and push him to act physically towards her now, when he should have been asking for her forgiveness? Was making love to her possibly a better –I am sorry- than anything else?

He gave a gentle peck on her lips and his tongue retreated from her hot cavity with a regretful sigh. Eilin's looked up at him. "Why are you stopping again?" She whispered.

"Because however much I long for you, even though you don't believe me" –His fingers stippled through hers and he pressed her hand on his lips making her gasp- "It is not what will help us right now. Told you the same thing the other night."

Eilin gave him a quiet nod. "I know, but can I enjoy the fact that there are traces of passion left in you for me? I wouldn't deny you to do whatever you wished right now…know that."

He butted his nose on hers softly. "Eilin these aren't our finest moments and I don't think that lifting your dress and taking you right here will help our current misunderstandings, even though I am wildly tempted to do so."

Eilin closed her eyes and pecked his smooth lips tenderly. "You are right, it won't."

"Besides you are still mad for our argument that night, right? Did that go away?" Thorin whispered.

She shuddered when his breath caressed her face. "Not yet…"

"You also got mad at me for sleeping in the kitchens, correct?" he continued with the same gentleness and his hand came up to hold her face like a prize.

She gave him a quiet nod.

His lips curled down. "Alright then allow me to convince you of my remorse and try to fix all this for you…"

When she opened her eyes they had a sorrowful shade in them that made his stomach drop. "How are you going to do all that?"

His brow creased. "I will find a way…I will try to learn new ways if that is what you need from me."

"Alright. Let's try fresh then. Where have you been yesterday?" She whispered.

"To the forest…" He frowned.

"With whom?" She continued with the same tone.

"The Ranger…" -He rejoined- "We were sweeping Mirkwood."

Eilin swallowed heavily and bit both lips. "Was the Ranger the only one you saw?"

Thorin frowned feeling slightly uneasy. "No, I saw many people."

"And many people saw you…" -Eilin added dryly- "Can you tell me exactly who you saw and talked to?"

Thorin felt a seed of misgiving blossoming in him. "Very well, do you want them listed alphabetically?" He threw a shot at humor that she didn't care for.

Eilin squeezed her eyes tight, felt her stomach twisting and pressed his forearm possessively. "Just be truthful."

Thorin's lips caressed her earlobe. "I am always truthful."

Eilin nodded softly and a cold wave of anxiety gripped her heart as she waited expectedly for his words even though he had no idea how important they were at that moment. "Can you tell me then?"

Thorin sighed. "Of course. Rhiannon, Balin, Dwalin, Aragorn, Lady Íth and then I had a long meeting with the Seven. Exactly in that order." -He felt her body shudder and kept her tightly - "Hey are you alright?"

Eilin felt her eyes burning hot and her hands wrapped behind his back firmly. "Alright….?"

Thorin frowned, but remained silent.

Eilin felt her mouth dry and her throat tight. "How come you saw Lady Íth since Thrárin had been with me all day Thorin? I thought you only saw her when you took our son there to play or to pick him up…"

It took Thorin several moments to speak as there was an insinuation in her words that he couldn't quite grasp. "I was returning from the forest with Aragorn. She was at the training grounds playing around with a sword. We exchanged a few words, mostly about the kids…"

Another long exhalation left Eilin's chest.

Thorin kissed her exposed shoulder gently. "Why are you interrogating me about this? Is there a problem?"

Eilin's demeanor clouded. "I am just interested in her since her son seems to be our sons' new best friend. I wish to know the quality of her character and you seem to have talked to her more times than me."

Thorin exhaled and drew her until his chin could rest on the hollow of her neck. "She seems to be a kind woman with a soft heart and a lot of skeletons in her closet."

Eilin's brows wavered and her fingers clutched him hard. "How come you know about those skeletons?"

"Some of them came up because we were talking about our children…Actually you should engage her in a conversation one day. You might be able to find out more about her and put your mind at ease. It will be much easier for her to confide in a woman, than a man." Thorin didn't hesitate in his answer.

Eilin closed her eyes in relief and leaned her forehead on his temple. His words aligned with what Rhiannon told her when she returned from the forest even though her best friend didn't hear what was spoken between Lady Íth and her husband. Nevertheless the tight uneasiness at the pit of Eilin's stomach still lingered. "You said she was sword training?"

He nodded. "Well it appeared so…"

Eilin licked her bottom lip. "Was she any good?"

Thorin smiled and pecked her neck softly. "Does her skills have to do with Thrárin and Brunar’s friendship?"

Eilin tried to sound less interrogating. "That's just curiosity from me."

Thorin shrugged. "Well, she could use some improvement."

"Or a tutor…" She rejoined quickly.

"That would truly benefit her." He added calmly.

Eilin frowned. "So does she have one?"

"Not currently, but she has Commander Durar by her side. No one better to train her and he is her family, so I don't think she will have any problems." Thorin continued with the same unfazed tone.

Eilin's fingers caressed his wide shoulder. "Why did she go to such an isolated place to train though…" She threw another bait.

"Because she was embarrassed. She hadn't tried her hand with a sword for many years and she wanted to be alone in order to do it." Came the unhindered answer.

"Why did she decide to start training now after all these years?" Eilin didn't relent.

Thorin lifted up his head and frowned at her. "Really what is all this interest in her Eilin? Haven't seen you so taken in with a lady of honor ever before."

Eilin kissed his chin and smiled. "Her son is our son's best friend. Told you that is enough for me to want to know everything about her."

It took several moments for Thorin to reply. "She wished to remember her sword skills in order to start teaching her son. Actually it would be a good idea for you to join her and you can both train Thrain and Brunar in swordsmanship and archery together." He offered.

Eilin's stomach dropped at the idea. "We shall see…" She murmured musingly.

Thorin held her close and exhaled between her curls. "Do as you wish my love, but you shall know more about her conduct towards our son if you approach her personally. I know few things about her."

 _I am not so sure about that…_ her mind teased and she gritted her teeth against its games. She heard the silence from him way too loud and thought it wouldn't be wise to question him more about this now. She got ready to change the subject when he took her by surprise, apparently in need of some answers too.

"I cannot help but notice a pattern towards me lately, but correct me if I am mistaken …" He let the thought linger.

Eilin frowned. "What pattern?"

"First Rhiannon questions me on why I slept in the kitchens and then you question me about yesterday …" He said calmly.

Eilin cringed regretfully. "I didn't mean to come down so strong on you. It isn't as if I have never asked about your day before."

Thorin shook his head softly. "Not with so many details."

Eilin rubbed her forehead. "If this is about Íth…"

Thorin clasped her hand and drew it up to his lips again. "This is about the trust between us."

Eilin's brows wavered and her stomach clenched. "Was trust ever questioned my love?" She whispered.

Thorin's eyes felt penetrative on hers. "I was wondering the same thing."

Eilin's gaze was intense. After several moments she averted her eyes with a deep exhalation of defeat. "I am sorry I made you feel bad."

Thorin's hand pressed hers tightly. "I need to know that you trust me. It is very important for me."

Eilin's eyes lost their previous resolution and she drew him in for a firm hug that he reciprocated promptly. "I trust you with my life." She whispered.

He exhaled hard and his brows creased.

She drew a deep breath and forced a smile on her lips. "Please forgive me for questioning you today and for acting so erratically the other night. My nightmare was truly awful."

Thorin kissed the top of her head protectively. "Dis told me. I am so sorry you had to go through all that."

Eilin's fingers began forming small circles of uncertainty on his bicep. "Tell me please why did you sleep in the kitchens? Was it because you were bitter with me?" She whispered.

His lips ghosted on her forehead gently. "I was not bitter, my love, just tired. I am sorry I didn't come home to sleep. I am sorry for our argument. I am sorry I pushed you away. I am sorry I didn't ask about your nightmare. I am sorry for everything…" His voice was diminished.

Eilin snuggled in his arms. "I am sorry too."

He closed his eyes and gave her a quiet nod. "I know you are."

"It was a really bad dream Thorin. A dream that warned me about us. That is why I was so upset." She whispered.

He leaned his forehead upon hers and tried to expel the heaviness that swarmed around his heart. "Tell me about it now."

"It matters not anymore, but the feeling it left me with does matter. More than anything."

Thorin looked at her mouth dotingly. "What feeling was it?"

"Fear for us." Her finger reached up to caress his bottom lip softly.

He pulled her in and cradled her head under his chin and his heart was left full of dry bitterness. "This is killing both of us…" He murmured.

Eilin closed her eyes and burrowed in his arms. "I know. I don't want to antagonize you anymore."

Thorin kissed her forehead. "Me neither."

Eilin pressed her arms around him fervently. "I don't want to fight with you and I don't even want to have a different opinion from you. That is how scared I am."

Thorin exhaled hard and chuckled. "That's practically impossible. You are more stubborn than I am and I love you for that."

Eilin squeezed her eyes tight not wanting to allow his teases to lighten up the mood at that moment. "I will do everything…anything to keep us from falling apart."

Thorin drew her in possessively and his half open lips skimmed her temple. "We will never fall apart my beloved. You are constantly in my mind. You are my One. Even during the bleakest of days, through the nastiest disagreements, always remember you are my One. We will find a way to get over this, okay?"

Eilin nodded readily. "I know we will never agree on what the kids need. You see things one way and I see them in a different one, but that doesn't mean I don't respect your opinion. You mean to me more than life. Never forget that." She said quickly, needing to make him understand how much he meant to her.

Thorin pulled back and looked in her eyes with a deep frown. "We can agree to respect each other's opinion and try to come to an understanding at what is best for the kids without wounding each other in the process. Can we do that?"

Eilin's beautiful green eyes looked at him with devotion. "We can try…but it won't be easy."

Thorin's fingers touched her chin softly and tilted her head up. "I know…what about your father and all this menagerie?"

Her eyes welled. "I’ve made you suffer, I know…still I cannot help myself. Forgive me."

Thorin's brows creased with worry. "I understand how much this affects you, but remember I am on your side."

Eilin's nails clawed his shoulder blades. "I will try to keep it together Thorin…I promise. You are not worth the worse of me."

He smiled. "Neither are you worth the worse of me, but that's bound to happen, isn't it? We share our lives. We cannot always be the best. We will fail, we will fall, but we must be willing to pick each other up and continue even though our image of what is perfect may be smudged again and again. I know I am not perfect anymore in your eyes and forgive me if I am not trying hard enough. I know I am obstinate and sometimes a downright jerk. I am insistent and dictatorial when I am pissed, but I do love you with every morsel of my poor heart. Try to remember that when you get angry with me. I love you and I fear I am not ….."

 _Enough for you….tell her!_ His mind yelled, but his mouth locked up tight. He was too proud to admit something so feeble to her.

Eilin frowned. "You are not what?"

Thorin smiled down at her and kissed her nose gently. "Not exactly what you need at times."

Eilin frowned. "You are everything I need and even more. Never doubt that, okay?”

He didn’t answer.

“Okay?” She repeated.

He gave her a quiet nod.

She smiled. “Now it's my turn….I am too possessive, too envious, too stubborn and too bitter with my father, which is unfairly taken out on you. Sometimes I cannot comprehend my own cruel ways. When I become like that please remember that I adore you and I need your help to get out of the darkness that keeps pulling me down."

"I will do the best I can to help you…." His voice broke as he was obviously very affected by all this.

 _Even though that may not be enough to you ….._ his mind screamed and he gritted his teeth against its offensiveness.

Eilin cupped his cheek. "Hey, what's wrong?"

_Voices in my head are becoming too loud…_

He smiled down at her. "I am alright. So how about a fresh start at least for this day…or whatever is left of it…."

Eilin's lips curled up in a bright smile. "I would like nothing more than that."

Thorin swallowed heavily and forced a smile on his lips. "Tell me, how you are doing today. Did you sleep well? Did you have any more nightmares?"

Eilin drew back and looked at him with a sweet smile of realization. "Is this your try to mend things? Asking me how I slept…"

He nodded and shrugged. "…taking time off my heavy schedule to seek you out. Give you a kiss…Am I doing well today?"

Eilin raised her brow. "Despite the fact that you made a mess the last few days and I did too I'd say right now you are doing a very good job and I will try to follow you."

He sighed. "…thank heavens."

Eilin kissed his brow. "You said you did a sweep of Mirkwood. Why?”

“Searching for vagabond Dwarves….”

 “Did you find anyone?" She frowned.

He kissed her collarbone softly. "Only murmurs of the void."

Eilin smiled and her fingers interwove through his mane. "That sounded romantic."

A ghostly smile appeared on his lips. "Or the precursors of a nightmare…" He whispered.

Eilin's brow shadowed. "What do you mean?"

Thorin pulled her in and gave her neck a possessive kiss that woke up her skin. "So what are the plans for today?" He ignored her question.

"Boring social interactions with Erebor's nobility?" Eilin smirked.

"Maybe we can both change our plans. What do you think?" He raised his brow.

Eilin's eyes grew wide. "Are you suggesting we both have the day off?" She grinned.

His mouth formed a stunning smile. "Day off just for you."

Her smile was bright enough to blind the son. "When did you decide that?"

He grinned. "A little while back."

Eilin grasped his hand tightly. "How about a picnic with the kids in the enchanted lake?"

Thorin pulled her in fervently and lifted her off the ground. "They are already down by the river waiting for us. We go wherever you please."

Eilin frowned and kissed his cheek fiercely. "You know I love you, right?" She whispered.

He pulled back and looked at her lips affectionately. "I know…"

After several days of darkness, just seeing her so relieved was enough to blow all the clouds that lingered above his head to kingdom come. He wouldn't let what remained of that day go to waste. He was going to pass it with his family and allow Eilin to feel happy and untroubled…..if only for today…or for as long as it lasted. Then if the clouds returned he'd do the best he could to keep them away from her….forever….

 


	11. Fading reality

 

* * *

_Thorin tried to open his eyelids, but they felt way too heavy. The stillness of the air around him was stifling. He rubbed his fingers together restlessly. He took a deep breath and heard its echo reverberating around him. He couldn't see where he was, but there were many places in Erebor that had similarly quiet, dark and humid conditions like the ones he felt around him. Endless mines, bottomless chasms with hidden caverns dug in their walls and maze like drifts._

_What was peculiar was not the place he had found himself in, but the fact that he couldn't open his eyes._

_He made another effort, which didn't work. It was as if his eyelids were stuck together. He stretched out his ears in order to catch some other sound apart from the constant dripping of water somewhere close by and he remained still trying to remember how he ended up here. Last thing he recalled was laying down next to his wife, pleased that for once they didn't have an argument. He remember her leading him to bed, tucking him in and cuddling against him. After that he woke up to this clammy and way too quiet darkness with an inability to open up his eyes. A shadow of doubt rushed through his mind. Maybe this was a dream and not reality. Like the ones he always had in the past. The ones that woke him up with a jolt of panic. The ones that made his body drench in sweat as he tried to understand where they ended and reality began. The ones that sometimes scared him with their accuracy or with the nightmarish images that lingered in his past. Eilin wasn't the only one suffering from nightmares it seemed, nevertheless it was utterly frustrating for him to get back into this lucid dreaming after abstaining from their presence since he recovered from the Battle of the Five Armies and met Eilin._

_If this was a dream, then he hadn't had one so vivid for at least a decade._

_He gritted his teeth and decided that standing there in the midst of nowhere with his eyes closed didn't help at all. He made another attempt to open them, but failed. A groan of defeat escaped him and he got ready to curse aloud in order to get some response from someone, when suddenly the sound of a distant weeping made his ears perk up. He held his breath and concentrated hard in order to listen at the inaudible sniffles that were heard from afar. His brows came together decisively and this time he didn't hesitate one bit. He forced his eyelids to slit open. He groaned and cupped his face, trying to rub off whatever it was that had glued them shut. They felt dry and chaffed, but the humidity in his fingers helped soothe down the pain he felt when he touched them._

_When he drew his hand back his eyesight surprisingly wasn't too blurry for him to see that he was indeed inside a dark cavern. The ground was full of water that was trickling steadily from the ceiling and from the walls around him. The only source of light was a dim candle that was not so far away from him, hidden behind the huddled form of a hooded woman who was kneeling in front of a smaller body which was unconscious on the floor. Thorin frowned and squinted. "Hello?" He called out to her, hoping to get some response._

_None came apart from the persistent lamentation that made his hair raise in trepidation._

_He tried again. "Are you okay?"_

_The huddled figure didn't react at all._

_Thorin pushed himself up with great difficulty. It felt as if his body was much heavier than usual. He tried to straighten himself, but his back hunched unwillingly. "Can you hear me?" His voice echoed around the chamber._

_The pained sobs of the woman were his only answer, which sounded eerily foreboding inside this environment._

_He took a few steps closer and heard his footsteps echoing way too loud. Surely that was enough to draw her attention, right? As he approached his eyes were able to discern that she was not wearing a hood, but an elegantly embellished silken scarf that held the Longbeard sigil on its hem. His brows creased and sudden apprehension gripped his guts as he took another step closer. Now he could see the legs of the child that was laying in front of this woman. Thorin saw his sigil was embroidered on the knee of the boy's trousers. "Can you hear me? What happened? Is the boy alright?" He asked and tried to get closer to them when out of the shadows a dark figure appeared, which seemed to be surrounded by a misty cloud of despair._

_Thorin's lips parted and his eyes squinted. "Who are you?" He whispered._

_The shadow lunged quickly towards the woman with violent possessiveness. It looked as if it was trying to protect them. Thorin's face twisted in anger and he lunged forth also with an inexplicable need to protect them from that figure too._

_"Stay away son! I warned you to stay away! Keep away from this place!" The voice of the shadow cried and Thorin felt his whole body convulsing as he recognized the familiar voice of his father._

_"Thrain?" He whispered…._

 

* * *

"Father?" He took a deep inhalation and sat up. His fists curled up around the quilt and sweat covered his back. "Holy heavens…" He whispered and his eyes looked around him quickly, wanting to ascertain that he was back in his chambers. He turned sharply and saw Eilin sleeping quietly next to him, with the quilt up to her ears exactly like Rhianaye wanted to be covered.

"The kids…" He hissed and pushed the covers aside. When he stepped on the floor his legs wobbled and he almost blacked out. His hand grasped the pole of his bed, he took a deep breath, counted inwards until he felt his head clearing up again and then rushed to the kid's bedroom. He opened the door and tiptoed in, half scared out of his mind and still lingering in that humid and terrifying darkness, accompanied by that woman's sinister sobbing and the shadowy veil that surrounded his father lurking in the creases of his memory. He checked on each kid thoroughly to make sure they were alright, but lingered way too long above Durin, his beautiful azure eyes haunted by the fear his heart felt at that moment for his older son. When he looked down the body of his boy an almost irrational fear took over him and his gaze lingered on Durin's long johns. He was not wearing any trousers which bore Thorin's sigil on the knee. That had been in his dream, not in reality…

_Right?_

It took him a long time to settle down from the nightmare that awoke him and push it to the darkest corners of his mind in order to return back to reality.

When he was finally certain that his children and Eilin were alright, he returned to his rooms and sat next to the empty fireplace. He leaned his elbows on his knees and tried to calm down his breathing. He closed his eyes and stayed motionless as the bright full moon painted a silver path on his bare back, making the tattoo of Durin's crown glimmer as it reflected on his sweaty skin.

Thorin rubbed his forehead almost angry this dream had derailed him so easily. Well if Eilin thought she was the only one suffering from nightmares she should think again. Apparently his subconscious decided to join in the fun as well, something that made him rather apprehensive because his dreams were rarely if ever without cause.

Maybe it had been the manifestation of his fear for Durin after the whispers he heard in the Bald Hill. Maybe it was just his over active imagination. Maybe his remorse that he never managed to see his father's dead body and bring it to burial or maybe it was everything combined. Whatever it had been though it had scared the reason out of him and he was not in a hurry to go to sleep and see it again. He preferred to get dressed and go to the kitchens to prepare some breakfast for his family. Maybe then he could visit his office and take care of all the paper work he left behind last night. He could retreat at his forging station and take out his frustrations upon the anvil or linger on the top rampart and admire the sky breaking dawn under the solemn gaze of his Mountain. Anything would be better than sit in that damned armchair or go back to bed again and risk seeing the same dream.

As he was about to stand up and make himself useful a flurry of whispers tickled the edge of his consciousness and made his skin crawl with jitters.

Pargijakun shakutarbik durbat ana gurz *

His mouth fell open in a silent scream and he raised his hands to cover his ears. His eyes fled to the empty fireplace and his breath hitched. His heart gave a terrified kick and started galloping so fast that his eyesight blurred. Suddenly out of nowhere an utter sense of helplessness and impending doom came to bury him under their immensity. He stood up and looked around in a panic. Not in a hurry to wake up his poor family he staggered to the window, threw it open and found himself at the stone balcony, gripping the marble banister for life. He felt the soft night breeze blowing on his sweaty skin, but that comfort was too feeble in front of the maelstrom that was raging inside him.

 _Count inwards, think of something nice…think of your children…_ his mind tried to convince him, but the thought of Durin laying on his bed reminded him of that unconscious body in front of the lamenting woman in his dreams and he closed his eyes with a sharp inhalation when pain tore through his old scar. His hand covered it protectively and he forced himself to look down. As the tentacles of fear hooked on his stomach and began pulling it apart, he drew away his hand and gazed with ever growing apprehension at his bloody palm. He moaned and his heart thudded in his ears almost erratically. The blood on his hands, the images of his dream, the whispers from Dol Guldur and the sight of his son sleeping so calmly in his bed, came to mingle and create a confused horrendous web he couldn't escape from.

He remained there counting inwards, trying to realize if he was still sleeping and this was another part of his dream or if he was awake and bleeding from a wound that was supposed to have healed eleven years ago. The more he looked at the blood in his hand, the more he felt pain from his scar and that finally was embellished with the face of the Pale Orc lingering menacingly above him, one breath away from killing him once again. He hadn't ever experienced such a vivid memory from that doomsday, not even when he was dwindling between life and death from a fever induced coma. He had never visited that day in Ravenhill after he recovered….not until now.

"Fuck…" he panted and his fingers twisted painfully around the guardrail as he prayed for his sanity to come back.

"Honey?" Eilin's voice came to rip through his nightmare so unexpectedly that he released a trapped breath audibly and turned around with a pale face which twisted in fear. Eilin frowned and rushed over to him. When her hand touched his hot skin, he felt as if it tore through his chest and touched his heart. Suddenly the terrifying sense of doom that had overtaken him drew back its bloody talons. "Thorin are you alright?" Her voice was frightened.

He nodded and leaned his forehead on his hand. "I am alright dove. Did I wake you?" He forced himself to use his voice, not expecting it to deliver. When it did, a wave of relief rushed through him.

Eilin embraced him. She came up on tiptoe and gave a soft kiss on the black tattoo of grief he had around his bicep, which was dedicated to the loss of his family. "You are shivering. What is wrong?" She looked at him with obvious apprehension.

He forced his eyes to open and pulled back his hand that was cupping his wound, truly concerned of what he was going to see again. When he saw his palm dry and his scar untroubled his brows creased deeply. "Heavens…" he whispered again.

Eilin's arm came around his back and she pulled him in protectively. "Will you tell me what is happening? Why are you out here in the middle of the night? Why are you sweating and trembling at the same time and why do you look like you have just seen a ghoul?"

He looked at the immense depth of her eyes and felt her regard a tourniquet for his soul. He reached out and grasped her hand as if it was the only thing that could draw him out of the depths of darkness he had fallen before. "I am alright." He tried to reassure her.

She pulled his hand up and gave it a firm kiss. "Why do you keep clutching your stomach like that? Are you in pain?" She asked and pulled his hand away in order to see.

He shook his head intensely. "No, everything fine…I am fine." He repeated.

Eilin turned him around and looked at him anxiously for several moments. Then she pulled him in for a warm embrace that he reciprocated instantly. He clutched his arms around her like a drowning man. She cradled the beloved heaviness of his head on her shoulder and tried to enfold his large frame with her small one the best she could. As this huge man tried to snuggle in her arms like a little frightened child she felt her heart aching. She rubbed his wide shoulders tenderly and kissed the wet hairline near his temple, feeling the rims of his beard braid under her lips. "My love…hush I am here."

His strong body released with a tremor that made her frown and his hands locked around her hips. His eyes looked at the smoothness of her neck and slowly the nightmare he saw and the subsequent images from Ravenhill, the pain from his old scar and the whispers all began diminishing.

"You look scared out of your mind and that makes me rather uneasy my love, since nothing can scare you….isn't that right?" She cupped his neck and gave a soft kiss on his cheek that made him exhale in relief.

"Fear is prudence in the face of danger…" he whispered the words of his father upon her skin and felt it prickling under his lips.

Her hands massaged the tightness of the muscles on his back. "Did you see a nightmare too?" She whispered.

_Don't worry her more…._

"No my dove. I just felt the need to take in some clean air. It was too warm in the room." He tried to balance out his voice as not to betray anything more to her than he already had. Relating to her his nightmare and speaking of those whispers would completely destroy her frail emotions that were already overburdened by the nightmares of her father.

She drew him and he settled as best as he could in her embrace. Her lips offered a flurry of gentle kisses all over his face meant to soothe him down. "Why were you holding your stomach so tightly? Is your scar giving you trouble?"

He shook his head. "No, nothing like that."

She pressed her lips and her mouth rested on his bearded jawline. "I have never seen you in pain from that old wound. I am worried. Maybe Oin should take a look at you."

Another fierce shake of his head. "No, I feel fine Eilin, please…let's just drop it…" His voice was harder than he had intended. He just needed her to stop asking. He couldn't answer any of her questions now, as he didn't have the answers himself.

She tensed slightly. "Okay…"

He exhaled roughly on her neck and she shuddered in response. "I am sorry, I am just tired…"

She nodded and caressed his nape gently. "Come on then, let's go to bed."

He pulled back and looked at her eyes. "I thought about going up to the office. I have a lot of paper work unfinished."

Eilin's brow creased sternly. "You don't want to talk about what woke you up, fine. You don't want to tell me if you are in pain….maybe I can let it go…for now" –her voice warned him and his lips upturned in a soft smile- "but I am not going to let you go to work in the middle of the night and in this state. You are coming with me whether you like it or not. There are some things that your wife knows better than you." She grasped his hand and pulled him in.

He followed her. "Does she?"

Eilin gave him a loving gaze above her shoulder and led him to bed. When he stood in front of it she pushed him to sit and went back in order to close the window. Then in an afterthought she turned to him. "You want me to leave it slightly open so you can get some fresh air?"

Thorin's eyelids fluttered. "Yes…"

She left it partially open and drew the curtain over it. Then she approached and clasped his shoulders with her cool hands. Another strong shudder rushed down his body. The memories of that dream were becoming more and more distant, as were those whispers. Similarly faded was the face of the Pale Orc - he frowned and looked down at his palms- They were not bloody and neither was his scar. His heart pounded with the residues of fear and the tongue of trepidation licked up his spine one final time just for good measure.

 _What was all that?_ His mind asked confused.

He shook his head. "I don't know…"

Eilin frowned and leaned down to look at his handsome face. "What is it that you don't know?" She smiled, even though the unease was still clear in her eyes.

"About the window…" he hurried to cover up his slip of the tongue.

Eilin exhaled and pushed him down. " The fresh air will make you feel better. Come on, back to bed. Whatever got hold of you tonight is going to go away if you try to rest some more. Alright?"

He allowed her to manipulate him under the covers. "I will try." He said and placed his palm under his cheek. He looked over at the window and saw the faint light of the moon creeping from the crack of the curtains.

Eilin burrowed in bed and scooted over to him. Her dainty frame spooned his huge one and a small affectionate smile of appreciation formed on his lips. When her arm came around his stomach and wrapped protectively around his scar he clasped her hand and pulled it up.

His lips touched her fingertips gently. "Thank you my love."

"Sleep…I will stand guard." She murmured.

The smile on his lips spread all over his heart and as he closed his eyes the horrendous images of that nightmare fled away into the most oblique alcoves of his mind. Her warm embrace and the safety he felt in her arms, allowed him to drift off in a very restful sleep till morning.

* * *

 

Durin rushed down the main steps of the entrance and looked around with wide eyes, not really listening to what his sister had been telling him all through their walk up here from the Royal plaza.

"Hey, will you stop for a moment?" Rhianaye punched his shoulder blade.

Durin reached out and pushed her with such force that Rhianaye took several steps back. "Shut it and let me think!"

Rhianaye's eyes thinned angrily. "If you don't tell me what is going on I will go find dad and tell him that you have been pushing me around!"

Durin's stunning eyes flashed thunder. "Dad didn't sleep well last night. He is not feeling very well and you know it. Mom told us not to bother him today with our foolishness and that is what we are going to do! "

Rhianaye run after the quick stride of her big brother. "What's gotten into you? It is not the first time Thrárin has gone missing. What has you so worried this time?"

Durin pressed his lips and kept his eyes on his mother's flowing long red ponytail. "I am always worried about our baby brother."

Rhianaye frowned in annoyance. "No you are not. Usually you are happy when he is gone missing. What happened now? Tell me!"

Durin didn't answer and didn't lower his pace as he wanted to reach their mother before Rhianaye.

Rhianaye run past him and raised her hand. "Mom I need to tell you something!" She cried.

Durin reached her in two steps and pulled her back. "Shut your mouth!" He hissed at her face.

She came up to his face fearlessly. "Tell me what is going on or I will tell mom that you are freaking out about Thrárin. She will bother dad and Erebor's trumpets shall ring! Then you will have to tell all of them what's up, because something is going on!"

Durin's eyes weighed her for several moments, before finally giving in. "I will tell you, but say nothing in front of mom!"

Rhianaye looked at him hard before raising her finger at him. "Whatever you and snotty are up to I am in or else I will tell on you!"

Durin pushed her away vexed. "Fine, now stop it!" He warned as their mother came over to them.

"What are you guys doing here?" She asked with a smile and looked at the crowded line of dwarrowdams she was training in archery.

Rhianaye embraced her. "Is daddy feeling better?"

Eilin's lips curled down. "A little better."

Durin felt his heart dropping. "Did Oin see him?"

Eilin raised her brows and shook her head. "He denies."

Durin crossed his arms and looked at his boots dejected.

Rhianaye kissed her mom's cheek. "We can go up and try to fix his mood."

Eilin caressed her hair and smiled. "He needs to rest honey. Maybe later. Okay?"

Rhianaye nodded sadly.

"Have you seen Thrárin mom?" Durin asked.

Eilin's beautiful arched eyebrows came together and she turned to one of the dwarrowdams who shot an arrow completely off the mark. "Where is your target?" her voice turned hard.

"To my right." The dwarrowdam quivered and her hand trembled upon the arrow.

"Do you open or close your stance?" Eilin asked sternly.

The woman hesitated. "Open?"

"Do it then!" -Eilin snapped and the woman straightened instantly and got ready to try again.

Durin crossed his arms and waited patiently for their mom to notice them again, which happened soon after she finished scolding her apprentice. "I don't understand why you don't train our soldiers in archery. You'd be good at it mom." Durin said honestly.

Eilin reached out and cupped his cheek. "Your dad doesn't want me to train men."

Rhianaye frowned. "Why?"

"He has his reasons petal. I suppose he is scared I'll use the same tricks on them, he used on me."

Both kids frowned in confusion. "What?"

Eilin snorted and cleared Durin's long black hair away from his sapphire eyes. "Never mind. Now did you ask about Thrárin?"

Durin nodded and pushed his mom's prying hands away bothered. "Enough mom, yeah did you see him?"

"I left him with Lady Íth this morning. He should still be with her and his new best friend Brunar. I think they were supposed to go to the river." Eilin gave her son a bright proud smile.

Durin grabbed Rhianaye's hand and drew her away. "Thanks mom, see you later!" He cried and dragged his sister away.

Eilin stood up and admired her children for several moments before the sound of another arrow missing the target made her turn towards her trainees. She placed her hands on her thick belt and frowned deeply. "Go back to the trees, pick up your arrows, return to your places and assume positions again!" She grumbled not intending to let them off the hook so easily.

* * *

 

It didn't take Durin and Rhianaye long to discover Lady Íth and her son Brunar. "Hello Lady." He said with a forced smile.

Íth turned and her face lit up. "Young Prince and young Princess. It is an honor to see you both." She bowed her head deeply.

Rhianaye waved at her happily. "Hello my Lady."

Íth waved back softly. "Hello pretty girl."

Rhianaye crossed her arms and looked at her boots embarrassed.

Íth waved her off. "A dazzling young lady such as yourself must learn how to take a compliment without blushing. You bow elegantly and say thank you. Besides I didn't give you a compliment…."

Rhianaye's lips parted. "You didn't?"

Íth scrounged her lips and shook her head. "I was merely telling you the truth. You will grow up to become the most precious flower of Erebor, aren't you?"

Rhianaye's blush extended to her neck. "Like my mommy?"

Ith's smile was kind. "Much like her."

Rhianaye curtsied and held the hem of her long tunic. "Thank you madam."

Íth laughed lightly. "That's better. You got it!"

Rhianaye giggled and cupped her mouth.

Durin was looking at the exchange rather bothered and Íth noticed. She reached out and clasped his hand gently. Then she twisted a finger around one of his black loose curls that was hanging above to his eyes. "I didn't mean to forget you master Durin. One cannot allow such stunning sapphire eyes to look so unhappy." Íth said with an honest mile of admiration.

Durin's face settled in silence.

Rhianaye elbowed him. "You are supposed to say thank you when a woman is complimenting you." She tried to school her brother.

Lady Íth bowed deeply to the Princess. "Don't make the Prince feel uneasy, Princess. He is an astonishing young man in the making, he is not obliged to say thank you to a compliment, but he has to learn how to give them to pretty young girls when he grows older. I didn't mean to make him feel uncomfortable. I was merely admiring his striking azure eyes that shine so brilliant against his black hair. Your brother is one of the most gorgeous little boys I have ever met. He will certainly grow up to be a stunning man who is going to be second to none, much like his father."

Durin crossed his arms and his brow rose slowly in a similar mannerism to Thorin's. "You do know that my father is married to my mom, right?"

Ith's smile melted in shock. She looked fleetingly at her son who was messing with some mushrooms and avoided the Prince's eyes. "Of course I know young man. My words were meant as a compliment to you and your sister. Nothing more than that. Please forgive me if I offended you."

Durin looked at her sternly. "Just making sure." He said quietly.

Íth looked at her hands and stippled her fingers. "Forgive me master."

Durin looked at his sister who seemed totally confused about all this. "Is my little brother with you?" He asked, totally indifferent to all the compliments Lady Íth had showered him with.

Íth looked up at that. "No."

"What did you say?" Durin's brows creased as his youthful face filled with sudden anxiety.

"Prince Thrárin told me he was coming to find you and left us." Lady Íth looked at him with confused eyes.

"When?" Durin's eyes penetrated her with a depth that she was not expecting from a child this age.

She felt slightly unnerved at how similar his eyes were to those of his father, as well as his gestures. "Not long ago master." She frowned in confusion.

Durin cupped his forehead and exhaled roughly through his nose.

Rhianaye grasped his arm. "Maybe we should find dad?" She whispered at Durin's ear.

"Is everything okay master Durin?" Íth asked.

Without waiting to hear another word from her, he grabbed Rhianaye's arm and started running.

* * *

 

Arwen's eyes fell at her older brother. "Why did you come here Elrohir? It's not to see if I am okay is it?"

Her brother threw her a haughty gaze. "Don't overreact, it doesn't suit you Arwen."

She crossed her hands and inhaled deeply. "Did father sent you to spy on me?"

Elrohir looked at the monumental golden city under the Mountain and his lips curled up. "He may have mentioned that I should check on you, but I assure you I took the initiative myself as my daughter kept asking to see Erebor up close and personal." –His lips twisted in a grimace of repugnance- "After this alliance took place between our kin and the stunted people their stories spread between our realms. My poor little one cannot get enough of them. She wanted to see the Lonely Mountain, so who am I to deny her the opportunity now that we are so close."

Arwen raised her brow and gave Aragorn a guarded look. "And why not spy on me while you are on it…"

Elrohir pressed his lips. "Where is your trust?"

Arwen waved him off barely containing her anger behind her majestic countenance. "I am going to give you a warning. If you don't want to be responsible for ruining King Thranduil's alliance don't call our hosts stunted people…"

Elrohir rolled his eyes and got ready to rebuke when the most divine little girl made an appearance behind his golden dress. "Hi auntie!" She waved happily.

Aragorn crossed his arms and smiled at his boots.

Arwen walked quickly over to her and extended her arms. "Celebriel my beautiful little baby. Come here, let me help you down."

Elrohir's lips broke in a contemptuous smile while Arwen helped his daughter off the horse. "Very well…I shall try to address them properly."

Arwen kneeled down and caressed the long hair of her niece that reached down to her waist in soft shiny waves. Their star-silver color resembled the hair of her great grandmother Galadriel and her bewitching countenance held a glow that seemed to originate from within. Arwen looked at her rare indigo eyes that held fairylike threads of purple hidden in them and felt her heart melting from the love she had towards this little girl. "How is the prettiest young elven maiden of the Nordorin?" Arwen's rich voice whispered and her long fingers caressed Celebriel's bewitching locks.

"Half-Elven auntie." Celebriel corrected and her alabaster skin broke with two streaks of pink on high cheekbones.

Arwen smiled sweetly. "Half-Elven, forgive me."

Aragorn came down to one knee next to her and held her hand gently in his. "Honored to see you again young lady." He whispered softly and kissed it.

Celebriel grinned. "Hi Elessar, how are you?"

Aragorn tilted his head. "Can't complain young lady. How about yourself?"

Celebriel pushed him aside and her eyes filled with admiration. "Now that I am able to see Erebor up close I am perfect…is that it? Wow…." She exhaled and looked at it spell-bound.

Elrohir turned his attention towards the Lonely Mountain indifferently. "Well, I expected something more interesting to be quite honest."

Arwen gave him hostile glare that he missed. "You came here in a good mood brother. What did father tell you? That the Dwarves of Erebor were going to take me hostage or that Aragorn was going to defile my honor behind these golden gilded walls?" Her voice dropped low.

Elrohir's indigo eyes -so similar to his daughter's- observed around coldly. "You've been missing for a whole week. It was either him coming to bring you back or me coming to make you see reason, while giving my daughter a chance to meet with the Dwarves she so much admires." On that his voice turned repulsed.

Aragorn decided to intervene. "I assure you that we merely did exactly what little Celebriel wanted to do. Experience the majestic Lonely Mountain up close."

"And you couldn't wait to do that until my father decided to make his visit to the King of the North, you had to come here earlier in order to be alone….with my sister." The insinuation was pretty clear in Elrohir's tone.

Aragorn's bearing plunged at the insult. "That is highly offensive…." He snapped and Arwen released Celebriel's hand in order to stop him from getting into another fight with her brother, when all of a sudden a small figure dashed out of the borders of Mirkwood and fell face first upon Aragorn's side.

"Ouch!" Thrárin exclaimed as he landed on his behind.

Aragorn knelt and gripped his shoulders. "Master Thrárin, are you alright?"

Elrohir frowned. "Master who?"

Arwen pursed her lips. "Be silent for a moment brother." She admonished and Elrohir raised his brow in silent scrutiny.

Thrárin rubbed his brow and looked up at Aragorn. "Sorry mister Strider, I didn't see you there."

Aragorn looked at the dense forest behind the boy. "You lunged out of there as if the very demons of Morgul were on your tail. Is someone after you?"

Thrárin looked behind him at the shadows that dawdled above the Elven path he walked on and shook his head quickly. "No mister Ranger. I am okay."

"Why were you in Mirkwood young master? Didn't you father give strict orders for you kids to remain in the Forest of the River?"

"Who is his father?" Elrohir asked, but Arwen raised her hand stopping his questions one more time.

Thrárin hesitated visibly and began toying with the hem of his tunic. "I just brought some bread cramps to feed the birdies." He pointed at the Elven forest.

"Doesn't your forest have enough animals to feed?" Elrohir sneered.

Arwen gritted her teeth. "Be silent, brother. You have no idea whom you are addressing."

Elrohir threw his hands in the air. "No one is telling me, do you want me to guess or what?"

Celebriel raised her hand and waved at Thrárin. "Hello little one."

Thrárin looked up at her. "Hi." -He said and then looked restlessly at Aragorn- "Don't tell my daddy you saw me so close to the Elven forest will you? I didn't go far into the forest mister Ranger. I was feeding a robin in our forest and it flew in Mirkwood and I run after him. That's it."

Aragorn cleaned his red locks away from his forehead and smiled. "Fine, I won't say anything if you promise never to wander off so far away from home without any escort. Where are your siblings anyway? You are never going anywhere without Durin usually."

Elrohir's eyes fell on Thrárin and his brow rose slowly. "Did he say Durin?"

Arwen's eyes gave him a guarded look. "Prince Durin is Prince Thrárin's oldest brother."

Elrohir tilted his head reflectively. "Hence we are in the presence of Royalty. Explains all the attention. Well, allow me to present my respects." He bowed his head, but the scoff on his tone was obvious.

"Enough Elrohir." Arwen warned, but her brother didn't seem intimidated.

Aragorn picked up Thrárin and took him to his horse. "Come on master. I am taking you back to your father."

Celebriel clapped her hands. "Perfect. Can we go too?"

Elrohir face twisted in dismay. "That is a big no young lady. You saw Erebor, now we are going back home."

Celebriel rushed to him and clasped his knee. "Come on daddy, please. We are so close to it! Look…what harm can it do? A little bit closer. Just as far as the Dwarves allow us…come on please, please, please …" Her huge eyes looked beseechingly at his detached countenance.

If there was one thing that could mellow Elrohir's cold heart, that was his daughter's pleadings. He looked as hard as he could at her enchanting eyes before his heart gave up under the immense pressure. "Fine, come on." He offered his hand at her.

Celebriel grinned. "Thank you daddy!"

Arwen looked at her brother. "Don't make any mistakes I warn you. Don't let your petty differences with this race destroy Thranduil's important friendships."

Elrohir set his horse in a trot and bypassed his sister indifferently. "I won't little sister. Set your mind at ease." He said, but the tone of his voice didn't make Arwen feel any easier.

Her nervousness was shared by Aragorn who aligned her horse to hers and tried to offer her a smile of reassurance.

It didn't take long for them to reach the gates of Erebor and just as Aragorn was helping down Thrárin and Elrohir was helping his daughter, a mad voice came to draw their attention.

"You gurn kos rukh**!" Durin grabbed Thrárin by the shoulders and span him around.

Thrárin cried. "Hey!"

Durin thwarted his chest so hard that Thrárin fell down and his voluminous red hair covered his face. "We have been searching all over Erebor for you! Where have you been!?"

Thrárin rubbed his backside that got poked from a rock and began sniffling. "I didn't go anywhere! Stop yelling at me!"

Durin got ready to grab him again, but Rhianaye stopped him. "Enough! Wait!"

Durin shook her off. "I am not going to wait. This troll's snot scared me shitless!"

Elrohir raised his brow testily at Arwen, whose eyes send him a silent curse he recognized.

Thrárin lifted up his arms. "I am not going to do it again! I am sorry!"

Just as Durin was about to push his sister aside and grab Thrárin by the lapels in order to shake him to reason, he saw a white pearly hand extended to his face. He looked up and froze like a statue as the elfling's radiance was enough to disperse his anger instantly. Rhianaye pulled back and observed with a deep frown her awe-struck brother and a girl that seemed to be more or less their age, but clearly belonged to the Elven folk.

"Hi, my name is Celebriel, what's yours?" She said with a wide smile.

Durin snapped out of his stupor took several steps back, tripped on a stone and fell on his behind much like Thrárin had done before.

Arwen tilted her head and smiled affectionately towards Aragorn who reciprocated her attentions.

Rhianaye went to pick her older brother up. "Forgive his awkwardness but he is a boy and boys sometimes act stupid."

Celebriel smiled. "He doesn't look stupid at all."

Durin gave her a fleeting glance and wiped off the dust from his breeches. "I am not going to say thank you for that, just so you know." He snapped.

Celebriel's smile melted into a confused frown. "Well, that's not very nice of you."

Elrohir crossed his arms impatiently. "Who would expect from Dwarves to have such poor manners…the surprise is real." He mumbled.

Arwen clenched her jawline. "He is just a child who seems rather worried about his little brother. We took him by surprise. Can you stop spitting venom?"

Rhianaye clasped Celebriel's hand tightly. "Well, don't mind my brother. He is as grouchy as papa sometimes. I am Rhianaye, their sister. Unfortunately."

Celebriel shook her hand eagerly. "Why unfortunately? It must be nice to have brothers. I wish I had too."

Rhianaye shook her head with a thoughtful frown. "You don't know what you are asking for. They are trouble. I cannot keep him from getting hurt" –she pointed at Durin who pulled Thrárin up- "and I cannot keep him from getting lost." She added about her baby brother.

Celebriel cupped her mouth. "Sounds like fun…"

Rhianaye blinked and then looked at her brothers. "I am not so sure that it is."

Celebriel smiled at her widely.

Rhianaye frowned. "Are you an Elven maiden?"

Celebriel nodded. "Half-Elven."

Rhianaye's eyes grew wide. "I have never seen an Elfling before."

Celebriel laughed. "And I have never seen a Dwarfling before."

Rhianaye bit her lower lip. "How old are you?"

"Nine, you?"

"Ten…well, more like eleven…" Rhianaye puffed up proudly.

Rhianaye checked the elfling out. "You are too short for an Elf, aren't you?"

Celebriel raised her brows. "Maybe, but still I am taller than you though."

Durin approached, dragging Thrárin with him. "Well you are shorter than me. Thought that Elves were always taller than us." He tried to sound angry, but his eyes betrayed an attention towards this girl he couldn't very well hide.

Celebriel pressed her lips testily. "We are both kids, we'll see who will be taller when we grow older."

"Whatever…" -Durin humphed and turned his attention to his baby brother who was still sniffling- "Wipe you nose snotty. I am sorry I pushed you, but you scared the life out of me."

Thrárin did as he was told and his huge blue eyes looked at his brother lovingly. "Sorry I scared you."

Elrohir raised his brow. "It is an honor to meet you Prince Durin."

Durin offered him an indifferent gaze, didn't reciprocate his salutation and then turned towards his baby brother. "So where have you been snotty?"

Aragorn answered for Thrárin. "Found him at the borders of Mirkwood. He was chasing after a robin to feed him bread crumps."

Durin looked at the Ranger and then at his baby brother. He opened his mouth to say something, but at the last moment he regretted it. "Thank you for bringing him back to us Sir."

Aragorn tilted his head at him. "It is my pleasure to save the children of the Royal family."

Arwen smiled at him before adding. "Repeatedly."

Aragorn countered her smile with a warm gaze that was not lost under Elrohir's scrutiny.

"Alright, I think I have seen enough. Celebriel, come on we have to go." Elrohir couldn't help sounding annoyed firstly by Durin's indifference towards his presence and secondly from Aragorn's loving regard towards his sister.

Celebriel's lips pouted. "Dad noooo. I want to go inside Erebor. The King can show us in." She pointed at Durin.

"I am not the King …" he hurried to correct her.

She turned to him and her indigo eyes fixed on his azure ones. "You are going to be one day."

Elrohir raised his brow. "Don't rush. That might happen if nothing sinister doesn't befall on him in the meantime. Dwarves have a tendency to run into trouble from a very young age. As for this family in particular, misfortune seems to run in their blood."

Arwen felt a surge of anger rushing through her veins. "Enough, go back home! Leave brother." She commanded him.

Aragorn held her arm. "Arwen please."

Elrohir chuckled. "I didn't intend to stay, worry not. Are you coming or shall I tell father to come fetch you instead?"

Arwen's eyes thundered. "I shall remain."

Elrohir tilted his head elegantly. "As you please. Celebriel, come we are leaving." He extended his hand to his daughter.

Rhianaye looked at her regretfully. "You really have to go?"

Celebriel's lips turned down. "Yeah, no one can change my dad's mind when he gets like this."

Rhianaye extended her hand and Celebriel caught it. "Will you come again?"

Celebriel nibbled her bottom lip. "I'd like that a lot."

Rhianaye smiled at her, but Celebriel's eyes drifted past the princess and fell on Durin who was busy straightening Thrárin's dirty tunic. "Hey you…" she whispered.

Rhianaye frowned when the elvish girl released her hand and went to her brother.

Durin looked down at her. "What?"

"You like girls?" Celebriel approached, ignoring also her father's voice that was becoming more and more demanding.

Durin felt heat spreading on his cheeks. "Uhm, what?"

Celebriel came almost at a breathing distance and looked up to him. "Do you like girls as friends?"

Durin shook his head. "I don't know. I never had a girl as a friend."

Celebriel looked at Erebor and munched her finger thoughtfully. "Why not?"

Durin cleared his throat, straightened his dark maroon tunic and pushed Thrárin away from him, making him fall on his behind again. "The girls in Erebor don't like to play the way I play." He tilted up his chin proudly.

Celebriel's beautiful eyebrows met above her astounding eyes. "How do you like to play then?"

Durin looked at her haughtily. "I am a warrior, I play rough games not meant for girls." He hurled at her.

Celebriel grinned at him and her finger poked his chest. "Do you like adventures?"

Durin's eyes lost their certainty and unveiled a puzzled face. "Yeah…" He muttered.

Celebriel pulled back and crossed her hands behind her back. "I like adventures too. Do you know how to ride a horse?"

Durin looked at Rhianaye who was throwing him accusing glances for abandoning them. "Yeah." He mumbled.

Celebriel straightened proudly. Her silver hair bounced around her beautiful face. "I do too! Do you know archery?"

Durin felt his confidence fraying at the edges. "Sure."

"Celebriel, I told you once! Come on!" Elrohir grumbled.

"I do too! See, I can play like a boy if I want too…" Celebriel's eyes glimmered.

Durin found his hands twisting uncomfortably around the hem of his tunic. "Alright I suppose."

Celebriel looked at Erebor again before her eyes fell on Durin's face. "Is your Kingdom huge and totally remarkable?"

Durin looked at the golden city above his shoulder. "More or less." His mouth formed a smile.

Celebriel looked at him favorably. "You should smile more and be less sullen. All the boys should do that, they'd look less intimidating that way." She noted seriously.

Durin lost his smile and instantly closed up. "I am not going to smile!" He declared.

Celebriel shrugged. "Whatever. Can you show me around Erebor someday?"

Durin looked at her father who was scowling deeply. "I don't think your dad would like that."

Celebriel gave him a cunning look and whispered. "We'll find a way."

Durin frowned. "We will?"

Celebriel nodded. "Yeah! Now come on" –she urged him and extended her hand- "Let's try again to be friends. We have a lot in common. I will go first. Hi there, my name is Celebriel and I admire Dwarves and their cities and their history. What's yours?"

Durin extended his hand until their fingertips touched, but didn't dare move further. "Hi, my name is Durin and I am a Dwarf…uhm…I mean I am the son of …of…uhm…" He found himself at a loss for words as his mind was unable to focus in anything but the nervousness he felt in his stomach.

"Calm down…I was just giving you a lesson at proper introductions." Celebriel beamed at him and clasped his hand tightly.

Durin felt his heart climbing up his throat in a panicked state. "Okay…" He stammered.

Celebriel released his hand and looked back at her dad. "I am coming father!" -She cried and then turned at Durin again- "I like your siblings, but I like you more. I think we'd make good friends."

Durin's lips parted. "You do?"

Celebriel leaned over and whispered. "I'll try to come again and we can go on an adventure together. I'd bet you'd like that."

Durin frowned. "I would?"

Celebriel gave him a broad smile. "Of course you would!" -She turned and waved at Rhianaye and Thrárin- "Bye, nice to have met you."

Rhianaye waved back, but her face was full of mistrust. "Bye, take care!"

Thrárin mimicked his sister. "Bye!"

Then Celebriel turned to Durin. "See you soon!" She offered him a sweet smile.

Durin felt his hand raising on its own volition and waving at her. "Bye…" He murmured and his eyes followed her long after the horse of her father was barely seen behind the cloud of dust that its fierce galloping awoke.

It was Rhianaye's hand that brought him back. "What happened to you?" She admonished.

Durin's brows met in a deep scowl. "Are all girls so weird?"

Aragorn came down to one knee and caressed Thrárin's hair. "Most of them are."

Arwen gave him an affectionate smile. "My niece is quite special Lord Durin, much like yourself."

Durin pressed his lips. "I don't know about special, but she is very odd."

"You just don't know how to talk to girls, that is why you think she is odd." Rhianaye dismissed him.

Durin straightened on that. "I don't want to know how to talk to them. Now come on." He grabbed Thrárin's hand and pulled him away from Aragorn.

"Don't punish me Durin!" Thrárin pleaded.

"I won't, but you have some questions to answer to!" -He pointed a finger at Thrárin's face and then turned to Aragorn and Arwen. He straightened up and assumed an elegant posture- "Thank you for bringing back my brother to safety. I will inform my father of your loyal conduct. Know that it is deeply appreciated by Erebor's command." He declared with a self-possessed and disciplined manner.

Aragorn bowed his head. "A pleasure as always Prince Durin."

Arwen crossed her arms as the children got lost behind Erebor's golden gilded gates. "Were those words spoken by the same boy who couldn't utter a single syllable in front of my niece?"

Aragorn raised his brows. "Well I suppose it is never too soon to feel the first heartbeats for a girl."

Arwen looked at him partially shocked. "Don't speak like that about my niece. She's just a child."

Aragorn nodded towards the gates. "So is he…nevertheless he was unquestionably acting like a buffoon in front of her."

Arwen threw her arms around his shoulders. "And what does that indicate?"

Aragorn's hands pulled her in from the waist. "When I first met you in Rivendell your beauty made me forget my name. Pretty girls make us boys uneasy. Doesn't matter if we are young or old and little Celebriel has the makings of the most exceptional Nordorin. She has combined the unsung beauty of Lady Galadriel and the enchanted splendor of Lady Arwen. I cannot blame the poor sod for becoming speechless."

"One can hardly call Durin the Deathless a poor sod." Arwen corrected him.

"None is immune against the hypnotizing beauty of your family." He rebuked with a hushed tone.

Arwen's lips ghosted his. "We are much older though …"

Aragorn's lips captured hers softly. "They will grow older someday too."

Arwen's lips curled down sadly. "I am sorry you had to bear witness to the rudeness of my brother once more."

Aragorn kissed her lips gently and then pulled back. He reached up and tucked a long silken lock behind her ear. Then his fingers caressed her necklace. "I think we should go back before this turns into trouble for all of us."

Arwen's face shadowed. "I don't want to go back. I want to remain in Erebor forever….with you…"

The hairpin of Aragorn's mouth curled up as he whispered. "I wish so too …."

Their lips touched then and they abandoned themselves in a sensual and loving kiss there in front of the gates of this mighty stronghold, while everyone was coming and going around them, indifferent that the granddaughter of the Lady of Light and the heir of the first King of Númenor were touching so openly and so freely without fearing the judgment of others. That was a feeling they both longed to cherish for as long as they could.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * A bloodstained dwarf ruling at the edge of death
> 
> ** green ugly orc


	12. Two mighty enemies, two new friends

 

* * *

Eilin found herself feeling rather uncomfortable at that moment, even though her decision to meet up with Dis had been seriously deliberated after a whole night of staying awake and watching over her husband as he slept rather restlessly. After the first night were she found him awake, drenched in sweat, pale as a death and scared out of his mind she asked him about the obvious nightmare that had shaken him so badly, but he refused to tell her anything. That was enough to make her very worried about what was going on. An added concern was what had taken place in the training grounds with Lady Ith, something which Eilin didn't truly know how to feel about. Despite the fact that Thorin answered all her questions, his meeting with another woman in an isolated spot was making the Queen rather nervous and admittedly worried about their relationship.

They were having problems long before Lady Íth arrived, but her presence here was making everything a little more difficult, especially since Thorin and she seemed to be sharing a rather friendly -for lack of better words- companionship. Eilin didn't want to believe herself capable of becoming so repulsively envious of another woman approaching her husband so much. She thought she felt secure enough in their love to shrug off yet another woman who was inevitably drawn to him.

She had no delusions as to Thorin's merits and she was aware that he remained a very desirable man despite the fact that he was a married father of three now and famously loyal to his One. She couldn't blame the women that fell for him as she was the one who fell faster and harder than all of them combined, still all this was coinciding with the insecurity that had overtaken their relationship lately, the staleness of their intimate moments and their constant squabbling.

Added to all that was her concern about these new nightmares that seemed to be afflicting him, which he didn't wish to discuss with her at all. So this morning when her children decided to go play at the River forest along with Lis and Thorin accepted Dale's mayor for a visit, she decided to go speak with Dis. There were many things that were torturing her mind about Thorin, but one name prevailed above everything else.

_Lady Ith…._

Dis offered her a steaming cup of tea. "Girl, you look dreadfully pale."

Eilin took it with a grateful smile. "I didn't sleep at all last night."

"Why?" Dis' clear brow wrinkled.

Eilin took a sip and closed her eyes. "I have many reasons to keep me awake."

Dis' lips pursed. "Does my brother perchance have anything to do with them?"

Eilin's mouth formed a faded smile. "He has everything to do with all of them. He is the other half me….he holds my heart in his hands."

"Have you taken care to remind him of that lately?" Dis' question came so suddenly it found Eilin totally unprepared with its honestly and rendered her speechless.

The Queen lowered her eyes.

Dis reached out and clasped her hand. "Well?"

Eilin reciprocated the firm touch. "I am always trying to remind him one way or the other."

Dis' eyes bore in hers. "Does he listen…?"

Eilin held her regard. "Some days yes, some days no. I believe I should remind him more often….you know, indulge him with that knowledge."

Dis inhaled deeply and pressed her hand. "Do it then, before it is too late for him to listen. When my brother's famous obstinacy solidifies nothing can get through to him no matter how reasonably one speaks. His ears get plugged shut and all sounds become muted. Alas to the one who will try to make him listen after that point. Everyone should take care not to cross that final line and that includes us, because if we do and he locks us out we might never be able to get back in again. It matters not how much he loves and respect us…he will not listen. You understand?"

Eilin's eyes instantly watered and she nodded. "I do."

"I noticed how bad things are between you lately and I worry they might get worse. I fear the point of no return for him because I have seen him going past it before." Dis continued.

Eilin's eyelids fluttered closed. "I know…that is one of the reasons I wanted to talk to you today."

Dis drew her hand away and picked up her tea. "Don't ask me for advice again on how to approach your husband. I gave you the few tips I could last time. He may be my brother, but you have been his spouse for ten years. You know him in a much more intimate level. You should know better how to turn things around." Her lips curled sideways.

"I am not so sure that I do know how to approach him lately, but that is not the only thing I wanted to talk to you about today." Bitterness sipped in Eilin's voice.

Dis' eyes gained a seriousness slowly. "Then share with me your worries dearest."

Eilin took a sip and observed the cherry liquid swirling in her porcelain cup for several moments before speaking. "Remember when he was recovering from the battle of the five armies?"

Dis scowled. "Never forgot that nightmare."

"Remember those intense dreams he was having then? The ones he revealed to us much later?" Eilin continued.

"Of course."

"Well I think he is being troubled by them again." Eilin rejoined.

Dis frowned. "What?"

She shook her head. "I found him the other night awake at the balcony, looking half dead and more afraid that I have ever seen him. This is no joke. You told me he was always susceptible to weird dreams ever since he was a child."

Dis pursed her lips. "Indeed he has been, but they seemed to have stopped after you got married and had the children."

Eilin rubbed her forehead. "Well I think they have started up again and I need your help."

Dis' brow wrinkled in confusion. "How can I help?"

"He is not opening up to me. I asked him several times and he refuses to even acknowledge he is being troubled by dreams, much less reveal to me what it was that had woken him up in such a panicked state. I know I am the one who always worried everyone with my nightmares, but right now I think his dreams are much more important. Practically nothing can scare Thorin, isn't that right?" Eilin felt sweat breaking near her temples.

A shadow of doubt passed from Dis' eyes. "Right."

"Believe me when I say that after that nightmare he looked scared out of his sanity. It is imperative that someone talks to him so we can figure out what is bothering him so much." Eilin's eyes well full of dread as she spoke those words.

Dis' eyes clouded. "I will talk to him… of course."

"Thank you…." Eilin's mouth formed a ghostly smile and she clasped Dis' hand.

"What concerns me is why he isn't talking to you about those dreams. It is you that he should trust more than anyone else to reveal his emotions. The fact that he is not doing it makes me highly uneasy." Dis rejoined quietly.

"Me too, but that maybe partly excused due to the tension between us lately. I mean during this month we had only a couple of truly peaceful and beautiful days between us. That can cause a lot of friction, which might become more intense due to some situations that have appeared lately." Eilin rubbed her forehead and felt her heart clenching painfully.

"What kind of situations?" Dis scowled deeply.

It took several moments for Eilin to deliberate on the question that was bound to release a waterfall of uncertainties and suspicions to the keen eyes of the Princess. "What can you tell me about Lady Íth?" She asked finally.

Dis drew back surprised. "That was unexpected…."

Eilin forced herself to smile. "Humor me please."

Dis assessed her with a strictness that made Eilin instantly uncomfortable. "She is Durar's niece, an avid archer, a pretty tolerable swordswoman, a devoted mother and a loving wife who got recently widowed…"

Eilin spoke over her. "Did her husband die in a battle?"

"I think in an accident, but I am not aware of the details." Dis rejoined.

Eilin felt a hand twisting around her stomach. "Didn't Thorin's first One die in a horrible accident too?"

Dis countenance shadowed with suspicion. "Siv…yes, but how come did she appear in the conversation?"

 _They have at least one thing in common …_ Her mind teased.

Eilin raised her hand. "Please…allow me."

"Very well…." Dis leaned back and crossed her palms calmly.

"Was Lady Íth devoted to her husband?" Eilin continued.

"I don't know her personal affairs, but I believe that she must have been a loyal wife and mother. She certainly seems honorable and honest." Dis added slowly, trying to understand where Eilin was taking all this.

"Can you find out if she had ever been disloyal to her husband prior or after his death?" Eilin's stare was piercing.

Dis rearranged herself upon the chair agitatedly. "I could ask about it, but you will have to tell me what this is all about. I thought you came here to discuss about your relationship with my brother, not some elusive dwarrowdam none of us truly knows."

Eilin scoffed. "None of us knows…"

Dis scowled.

"You are wrong on that Princess. I think some of us are coming to know her better than appropriate." Eilin rejoined with a detestable smirk.

Dis' brow rose to her hairline. "Are you talking about my brother?" Her voice was ascetic and her body posture became suddenly rigid.

Eilin held her demanding gaze silently.

"Are you accusing my brother of infidelity or is it my idea?" Dis voice dropped.

Eilin felt the blood slowly draining from her face. "No…not him…but I dread the temptation that is surrounding him."

Dis raised her hand strictly. "Tell me this isn't one of your infamous jealousy streaks. It couldn't have come at a worst moment. Remember what I told you before on pushing things past their limit? Now stop this immediately!"

Eilin inhaled deeply. "If I cannot talk to you honestly about my concerns whom am I going to talk to? Rhiannon? She cannot give me the prudent advice you can. She cannot get my thoughts in order. This is why I came to you. I worry a lot and I am not going to lie. I worry about my husband and this Lady Íth becoming closer than appropriate."

Dis placed her cup down and it clanged upon the glass table top. She stood up and started pacing nervously in front of the cold fireplace while the soft breeze that came from the open windows blew her black locks away from her face. "My brother is the most trustworthy man I have ever met! His sense of honor is inestimable and legendary amidst our kin. Do you have any idea what he has gone through emotionally in the past? How devastated he was? He is not a man that fools around. He'd prefer to die than deceive you. Just hearing you doubt him like this pulls my soul apart…" Her voice broke.

Eilin placed her cup down too and stood up. She approached Dis and grasped her shoulder. "I don't doubt my treasured husband, but this Lady and the way she is approaching him. I don't doubt his integrity, but the absence of hers."

Dis turned around and her eyes looked hurt. "You don't trust my wolf."

Eilin felt a knife penetrating her heart. "Don't put words in my mouth please. I don't trust her…." -She pressed her fingers on Dis' shoulder- "I don't trust Lady Íth…."

Dis pulled away. "No matter how foolish a woman might act around your husband your trust in him must remain unwavering! Do you hear me!?" She was almost trembling with rage.

Eilin stood in silent shock at Dis' unexpected reaction.

Dis' fingers circled like painful claws around her forearm. "You don't understand how serious this is. Don't ever give him a reason to believe that you do not trust him. That will kill him….it will kill both of you."

Eilin's lip trembled. "Lady Íth has come too close to him. This isn't like all the other cases were a dwarrowdam moons over his stunning looks and he ignores them. This time I fear that he is reciprocating her attentions."

Dis drew back and her eyes were oozing pain. "Reciprocating her attentions as a friend of course! What goes through your mind Eilin?! Don't allow the plights that strain your relationship cause chaos in your judgement. Don't dare suggest that you have misgivings about him unless you are ready for a very heavy showdown with Thorin that will not end well."

Eilin pulled back and cupped her forehead. "You don't want to help me."

Dis grabbed her shoulder firmly and turned her around. "I am helping you more than you think you fool!" She cried.

Eilin blanched. "You are not even listening to my concerns. You are afraid how he might react if he realizes that I mistrust him, but that is not the point…."

"That is exactly the point! I heard every single damned word you said. Maybe this Lady Íth is truly gushing over him, who cares? She is not the first, she won't be the last. Maybe this time you see Thorin reciprocating her approach, but be certain that my brother is an honorable man! He'd never cheat on you. I cannot even speak those words without feeling them rip my tongue to threads. Do you wish to display the greatness I have always witnessed in you?" Dis' eyes were overflowing with tears.

Eilin didn't speak.

"Allow him to find a friend in this woman and trust him to remain with her just that. Then question yourself why he needs a new friend right now. Question what is missing from your relationship to make him seek a new friend and then try to fix it for both of you. Sit down with him, have a long talk, be affectionate, considerate and not suspicious or accusing. Show him love and acceptance. Then ask him directly about this new friendship with Lady Íth. I bet he is going to answer everything without a single shadow of hesitation in his eyes!" Dis declared proudly.

Eilin backed up and emptied herself on the chair defeated. "Maybe my fear for his new friendship with this woman stems from my own insecurities. Maybe I dread that I am not enough for him anymore….or maybe I dread the past…his past."

Dis eyes clouded. "You dread his past?"

Eilin cupped her mouth and looked at the empty fireplace. Her heart felt colder than the ashen stones it was build from. "Why did Thorin break up with Siv?"

The question came to flatten Dis' resolve. "What?"

Eilin forced herself to look up. "What happened with his first One? I know she died in an accident, but something took place before, something that caused them to fall apart."

Dis' hands were trembling and the tears she had been holding were finally released. "He never told you?"

Eilin shook her head. "Only that he broke his promise to marry her and that drove Siv to her death. He never discussed what led him to do that."

Dis bit her lower lip until she could taste blood. "You think it was another woman?"

Eilin went deadly pale and she hurried. "No…

Dis straightened her body and thrust her chin up. "I love you like a sister and because of that I will feel free to scold you as one! Now listen here! You married the most courageous and worthy man of our kin. Don't dare doubt him like that for you will find a mighty enemy in me, not matter how deep my affection runs for you! As for what happened between him and Siv that is not my place to answer. If he didn't reveal the truth then he had his reasons. Ask him about Siv and Lady Íth and take his answers for granted….but never…never return to me in order to seed me with contemptuous doubt about the most virtuous man I know!"

Eilin cupped her face and felt her hot tears staining her palms. "I am sorry my Lady…I never meant to anger you. I just needed a friend to share my doubts… please." She whispered, well aware that not only didn't she get any answers, but she managed to push her sister-in-law away, right when she needed her the most.

Dis walked over to the door and was ready to leave, but Eilin's silent plead got through to her. She inhaled deeply and looked above her shoulder. "I know you are suffering with the turbulent situation that was caused by the leaking of your father's name to the common people. I understand that your arguments with Thorin are taking a toll on you, but don't push away the people who love and support you. Don't offend him with this …this…appalling lack of trust…don't doubt him….I beg you….just don't."

Eilin swallowed heavily and gave Dis a defeated look.

Dis raised her brow coldly and opened the door. When it closed Eilin's eyelids fluttered and she exhaled hard. She came here needing answers about Lady Íth and Thorin's past with Siv….she only got more questions and ended up disappointing a person she held in great esteem and admiration.

What could possibly be worse than that….

* * *

 

Durin looked above his shoulder at Rhianaye and Lis who were following him, while Thrárin was leading the way. This endeavor today had taken a lot of threatening on his behalf and a lot of begging and crying from Thrárin. In the end Durin didn't want to allow his little brother to venture in Mirkwood alone. When Durin first confronted him Thrárin didn't admit the real reason behind these dangerous undertakings, yet after some coercing the little Prince revealed that he was trying to find Nameless in order to feed him. Something that Durin had been suspecting ever since Thrárin asked their dad to cook so much of his famous porridge.

Surprisingly Thrárin had entered the forest a couple of times and managed to go unnoticed by his siblings, the formidable guards, the keen eyes of their father and the suffocating solicitude of their mother. He expertly managed to get away from all their uncles and aunts and even the ravens, who found it difficult to fly through the thick foliage of Mirkwood. Thrárin's success had been solely based on his extensive knowledge of that forest, which had been passed down by his favorite nanny Tauriel and despite his few years of life he managed to pull through admirably well and with great courage. Something Thorin would have been proud of had he had known.

Had he had known...indeed, because it was not in anyone's interest for their father to learn of their stupid undertakings. Rhianaye was the one who threatened the most to reveal what was going on, but Thrárin literally fell on his knees and begged her not to. They all knew that if Thorin learned what his baby boy had been up to, they were all going to get grounded for life without exceptions. He would also send troops at Mirkwood in order to find and capture the Petty Dwarf that little Thrárin seemed to care so much about. Thrárin told Rhianaye that this Dwarf tried to protect them from the Bald Hill and that he shouldn't be locked up in the dungeons.

When Rhianaye asked her older brother for confirmation of those claims, Durin was unable to support them and neither was he able to dismiss them. He didn't know anything about the man they met so briefly in front of Dol Guldur. He only knew that Thrárin owned a golden heart and that his wish to help everyone in need was noteworthy if not slightly stupid. It was a trait of character their father insisted was passed down to him by Eilin, something the twins didn't share. Durin didn't care if he had a stonier heart than his baby brother though. He only cared about the safety of Thrárin and today's adventure was done exclusively for his sake.

After a lot of imploring from Thrárin and a lot of threatening from Rhianaye that she wouldn't stay behind, Durin agreed not to say anything to their parents just this once, on one condition. Thrárin had to take them to the place he was dropping the food off but they wouldn't leave. They'd stay and try to contact this Petty Dwarf. If Durin decided the man was dangerous to be around he'd inform their parents, if not…well…then…

"Are you sure you haven't talked to him at all since Dol Guldur?" Durin asked.

"No I promise!" Thrárin wined.

"There are several caves close to the Bald Hill, maybe he is hiding in one of them." Durin said thoughtfully.

"And how are we supposed to find him then? We are not trackers!" -Rhianaye pushed away some branches angrily- "I hate this forest."

"Well, I love it!" Thrárin rejoined.

"As if we didn't know." Rhianaye muttered.

"Maybe we can lure him out with food. We can hide and lie in wait for him. You said he takes the food every single time, right?" Durin asked.

Thrárin looked above his shoulder and nodded. "Yeah! He likes daddy's cooking!"

Durin rolled his eyes. "Well, that's a relief."

"Have you tried giving him Rhiannon's food or mom's?" Rhianaye asked and she sounded so serious that Durin snorted.

"Are you for real?" He looked at her amused.

"Yeah, why?" Rhianaye frowned.

"Isn't it enough that we are feeding this guy, must we also care whose cooking he prefers?" Durin glared at her.

"Why not? If he is as needy and helpless as Thrárin made him out to be then yes! It is nice to care about other people Durin! Mom says so! You seem so heartless sometimes!" Rhianaye hurled.

Durin humphed. "I am just practical. Someone needs to be the brains of the family along with dad. All the rest of you are speaking with your bloody hearts. I won't do that."

"Of course you won't. You are Durin's formidable reincarnation, the mightiest future King of our kin, you cannot mess around with emotions. Mahal forbid!" Rhianaye jeered.

"I am honestly regretting taking you along …" Durin spat.

"If you hadn't taken me, I would have told dad everything." Rhianaye pointed at him.

Durin flayed his hands in the air. "And you are talking about emotions you little creep? You sneaked your way in with blackmail. So much for speaking with a tender heart. What you used here is cold blooded logic."

Rhianaye's lips twisted in disgust. "Well, I learned from the best!"

"Keep your voice down! We don't want to alert Roac. He is flying above Mirkwood right now, I bet." Durin looked above his shoulder.

"You don't get to tell us what to do all the time! That is not fair!" Rhianaye admonished.

"Life is not fair." Durin dismissed her and followed Thrárin through the thick foliage of the forest that had overtaken all the elven paths.

Lis pushed away the branches with her sword. "How in the name of heaven can you find your way through all this Lord Thrárin?"

The young Prince smiled. "Tauriel showed me. She is nice."

Durin pressed his lips angrily. "True enough….you came here with her a gazillion times and we were never invited."

"You were busy beating up your friends and Rhianaye was busy playing with her dolls!" the young Prince cried.

Lis laughed at that. "Well he is right on that one…"

"Can you all shut up? You are driving me mad!" Durin grumbled and that is when a branch snapped behind Lis and she grabbed Rhianaye's arm. "Stop!" She hissed.

Rhianaye frowned. "What is it?" She whispered.

Lis gestured them to be silent. "I think someone is behind us…" She whispered.

Thrárin scooted close to his brother and wrapped his arms around his waist. "Do you think it is the Petty Dwarf?" He spoke with a hushed tone.

Durin swallowed heavily and threw his arm around Thrárin's shoulder. Then he drew his sword and stepped in front of Rhianaye. "Don't move." He murmured.

Lis brandished her weapon and looked around in fear. Dread trickled down their spines as their eyes tried to discern any movement between the thick tree barks and the impenetrable branches. Their breaths formed small clouds of humidity despite the fact that it was mid-summer. Just when Durin's nerves began twitching and he got ready to abandon mission and get them out of there a voice made him jump out of his skin.

"Hi there!"

Rhianaye screeched and Thrárin closed his eyes and pressed his face against Durin's stomach. Lis raised her sword and cried out. "Stand still, don't approach the future King!"

Celebriel crossed her hands peacefully in front of her long silver dress and smiled. "Why not? Is it really forbidden to approach the mighty Durin?"

Durin rolled his eyes and cupped his forehead. "For Mahal's sake you almost gave me a heart attack."

Rhianaye exhaled hard. "What are you doing here?" She asked but Celebriel totally ignored her. All her interest was on Durin alone.

Lis frowned at Durin. "Who the hell is she?"

Durin shook his head. "A damned nuisance."

Celebriel raised her finger at him. "Heard you mister. That was not polite!"

"Don't care." -Durin hurled back at her and caressed Thrárin's long hair- "It's that crazy girl again."

"I am not crazy!" Celebriel admonished.

"We cannot let her see Nameless." Thrárin's huge eyes begged Durin.

Celebriel approached the boys. "Who is Nameless?"

Durin glared at her. "He is none of your business and what the hell are you doing here anyway?"

Rhianaye was looking at Celebriel with very critical eyes. "I just asked the same question and she ignored me. I think she only wants to talk to you."

Celebriel smiled at Rhianaye. "I am sorry that wasn't very polite of me. As for what I am doing here. Well this forest belongs to the Elven realm so I belong in it. Who is this Nameless you are searching for?"

Durin frowned. "I told you he is none of your business."

Celebriel crossed her arms. "Well apparently he is my business because he is my uncle's forest!"

Durin exhaled a bout of annoyance. "Your uncle and my dad are friends! How did you find us anyway this far in?!"

Celebriel's eyes shown bright for a brief moment. "You are so loud you made my ears bleed."

Durin's face became purple from embarrassment. "Whatever, now go away!" He commanded.

Celebriel placed her hands firmly on her waist. "You are not my King. You cannot tell me what to do. I am not going anywhere."

Durin pointed around him. "This is no place for girls!"

Celebriel stuck her face up to his fearlessly. "You have a girl with you!"

Durin pulled back unnerved. "My sister is not a girl…she's my …sister or whatever…"

"What the hell Durin?! I am a girl alright!" Rhianaye glowered at him.

He looked at her with a confused frown. "Well you are not really a –girl-…you are family…Besides this particular girl is weird. You are not like her."

Rhianaye scoffed and looked the other way, feeling deeply offended.

Celebriel frowned. "So you think your sister is not weird? Other boys might find her as odd as you find me…" She rejoined.

Rhianaye pointed at the elfling. "She is right."

Durin slapped his forehead. "Fine she is right then." –He said to his sister and then turned to Celebriel- "You are right in everything. Happy now? Can you just go back home and leave us alone?"

Celebriel shook her head. "No, I want to stay here in order to overlook my uncle's forest."

Durin laughed audibly at that.

Celebriel pulled back and frowned. "What's so funny?"

Durin waved his hands in the air. "Thranduil has troops looking over his forest already. Tauriel is his most formidable lieutenant. Why would he rely on a kid to the job for them? You have probably sneaked out and if they find you with us they are going to think it was my fault and they will scold my dad! I don't want that. Now go away!"

Celebriel frowned. "Why would they think this was your fault? Are you doing such things often?"

Thrárin decided to chime in. "Yeah all the time!"

Durin glowered at him. "Shut it snotty!"

Thrárin's lip pouted.

Celebriel's laugh ringed like music around the forest taking Durin by surprise. "I am doing things like that all the time too. To tell you the truth I was coming to find you in Erebor, but by a little bit of luck I found you here instead."

"You escaped your father's hawk eye to come find me?" Durin raised his brow and crossed his arms.

Celebriel did the same and tilted her chin up defiantly. "Yes."

Durin looked completely baffled. "Why?"

"So you can give me a tour of Erebor! I told you that I was going to find a way, didn't I?" Celebriel grinned proudly.

Durin found himself at a loss. "You are even more peculiar than I thought and Erebor is not close right now. I cannot give you a tour, so leave." -He pushed Thrárin forward- "Lead on snotty."

Celebriel followed him not feeling deterred the slightest by his bruising manners. "You are sending me away again, but I am not going anywhere, just so you know. So you better get used to me, because I am going to come with you guys. You are apparently in an adventure aren't you?"

Durin rolled his eyes. "For Mahal's sake!"

Celebriel raised her hand. "I know everything about Vala Aule. Want me to tell you how he created the seven Dwarven forefathers out of whom you were the first one? I also know that this is your last reincarnation on earth! I read all about your history and it is amazing! Can you tell me what you remember from Khazad-dûm? The books say that every reincarnation of Durin remembers their previous life or at least bits and pieces of it."

Durin huffed and gritted his teeth. "Great, just great…" He mumbled.

"Want me to kill her?" Lis asked seriously.

Durin squinted at her dumbfounded.

Celebriel didn't seem phased in the least. She followed him eagerly as her sliver hair waved back and forth with the soft breeze. "How about your dad? I read all about him too! Can you tell me about the mortal wound he got in the Battle of the Five Armies when he decided to sacrifice himself in order to kill the Pale Orc? Does he still have it? Is it as huge as the legends say? Did it almost slice him in two? Did he throw Smaug the Great in a lake of molten gold? Tell me about the secret doorway he found at the side of the mountain and how he can talk with the Ravens. Do you remember what your crown looked like? Can you talk to the Ravens? Do you remember Mirrormere? Do you recall how to open the west gates of Khazad-dûm? They say they can be activated by the pale moon light…" She seemed unstoppable.

Durin halted and raised his hand back at her without turning around. "Stop!"

She froze.

He turned around. "Do you really want to tag along with us?"

Celebriel nodded eagerly. "Yeah, I love adventures and I want to learn about Nameless. Who is he? Does he live in my uncle's forest? Is he a Dwarf that came down from Moria? Is he your relative?"

Thrárin's eyes almost popped out of their sockets. "We cannot let her learn about Nameless! She is going to tell her dad and he is going to tell our dad!"

Lis crossed her arms and looked around her. "Maybe that'd be the best solution to all our problems along with killing her."

Durin gave her another confused frown that Lis ignored.

"If you don't allow me to come with you now I will most certainly tell my dad." Celebriel threatened.

"Now you sound like my sister. She should have stayed home and that goes for you too. Girls shouldn't be in this place and that is final. It is never happening again and that goes for all of you!" Durin rebuked.

Celebriel raised her brow. "Well, she is a girl too and she keeps threatening to kill me! In fact there are more girls in this company than boys!" She pointed at Lis.

Durin looked at Lis with a frown. "Her? No…. come on…"

Lis' eyes lost all their annoyance and filled slowly with grief.

Durin cringed. "I mean yeah okay she is a girl, but she is also a warrior. She is not your usual girly girl."

Even though Lis' face should have been proud upon those words, it looked completely miserable.

Celebriel puffed up. "Well, I am a warrior Princess like you are a warrior King. I belong to this forest and I can help you navigate through it. So I am coming with you!"

"Can we get a move on already? I don't want to be here after the sun sets. I may have promised not to betray you to the King, but my job is to protect you and after dark I won't be able to do that properly. This forest is wicked." Lis sounded rather vexed.

"It is full of elven magic, which I know how to work around. Don't worry." Celebriel waved her off disinterested.

Lis pressed her lips tight in order to stop herself from spitting venom at this arrogant elfling. She was feeling offended and very upset by her presence, but was unable to understand why.

Durin inhaled deeply and observed Celebriel's eyes. He didn't want to admit that he was both bothered and intrigued by her. Then he gazed at Thrárin. "Should we trust her?"

Thrárin was quick to agree. "Tauriel is my best friend. I like Elves."

Durin sighed. "Fine you can come with us, but on one condition."

Celebriel raised her brows. "Sure, what?"

He loomed above her. "You keep silent about all this to your father and you also keep silent with all the questions!" -Celebriel opened her mouth to reply, but Durin raised his brow and poked her nose with his finger- "I said…hush…silence!"

She pushed his hand away annoyed and crossed her arms. "Fine!"

Durin smiled haughtily. "Good, now come on we need to find that damned Petty Dwarf before I end up killing Thrárin for getting us in this mess to begin with."

"Hey!" His little brother complained.

Durin pointed at him too. "You keep silent also unless I tell you to speak. All of you are going to drive me crazy today. Now take me to the place you left the food two days ago!"

Thrárin complied so the company followed him silently near a clearing that was not far away from Dol Guldur and the place they had last seen that Dwarf. There were several alcoves and caves under the protrusion of a rocky hill and the Elven stronghold's destroyed towers were looming as shadowy figures in the far distance above the canopy of the trees. Durin observed several remains of fire pits around the glade, but none was new. He noticed Thrárin's pots abandoned near one pit and rushed over.

"Are these ours?" He asked.

Thrárin knelt next to him. "Yeah."

Durin's eyes grew suspicious.

"All the containers are empty." Rhianaye noticed.

"Either your Nameless ate them or the forest animals did…." Celebriel said and observed the surrounding trees.

Durin crossed his arms. "Or maybe someone far more dangerous than any of them." He added.

Rhianaye felt a shudder running down her back. "Can you stop scaring me?"

Durin pursed his lips. "Whoever is here, animal, Dwarf, Elf, Man or Orc is liking dad's cooking. That's all we learned from this trek…I don't know what I expected to find out here to be honest."

Rhianaye placed down the new pot she had been carrying. "Well, at least we brought whoever is here more food."

"Since we are all here we can try to hide and see if anyone appears to claim the food." Lis offered.

"Or we can explore those caves! We might find treasures…" Celebriel rejoined.

"No treasures around here young lady. Only ruins." A deep voice made everyone turn around in a panic.

Rhianaye rushed behind Lis who drew her sword. Celebriel cried and fell on Durin who drew his sword and assumed an angry glare towards the newcomer. "Stay back!" He warned, but when Celebriel's fingers wrapped around his arm his attention was solely hers- "What are you doing?" He whispered.

She looked at him and blushed. "I am sorry, this guy scared me…" She whispered.

The Dwarf they had met in front of Dol Guldur came walking out with the help of a man made stick. This time he looked far taller and wider…certainly more impressive than the last time despite his scruffy beard, tangled hair and dirty clothes.

Durin pointed at him. "You…it's you again."

The Dwarf sauntered calmly in their midst and leaned down to check the new pot. "What did you expect? A pack of Orcs?"

Durin pulled back and lowered his sword still feeling that damned elf too close for comfort. "To be quite honest I don't know what I expected."

Thrárin who was the only one not frightened by this sudden appearance, smiled widely and rushed past his brother. "Hi mister Nameless."

Durin grabbed his shoulder. "Keep your distance!"

Nameless' green eyes glimmered amused. "I could have taken out all of you one by one, quickly and silently if I wanted." -He pointed back at his impressive bow that was leaning against a tree- "I told you before I am not after your blood."

Lis licked her lips and her hand trembled as she swished the sword aggressively. "Don't come close to them!"

Nameless smirked and looked at Durin. "Is she your bodyguard?"

Durin gave him a curt nod.

"She's too young…" –Nameless noticed- "Not experienced enough yet."

"The King thinks I am experienced enough!" Lis frowned.

"What does the Queen think of you?" Nameless murmured and took off the pot's lid. When he saw the food inside he stuck his whole hand in and began eating.

"Ew- that's disgusting." Rhianaye grimaced.

"He is hungry! See? What did I tell you?" Thrárin yelled.

Nameless stopped shoveling food in his mouth and looked up. "Why risk coming such a long way in order to feed an old man you don't know, boy?"

Thrárin shrugged. "Because mommy says we must always help those who are in need."

Nameless' eyes twinkled with a spark that Durin couldn't figure out and he looked at the pot. It seemed those words had eliminated his hunger in some manner. A bitter smile appeared on his dirty face. "Well, thank you for risking your life in order to feed me. I appreciate this more than words can say."

Thrárin placed his small hands on his waist and grinned. "Mommy would be proud of me, right?"

Nameless looked at the ground and his eyes turned gloomy. "Most certainly."

"And dad will be pissed with all of us." Durin deducted resigned.

Celebriel approached the man. "My uncle doesn't know of your existence in his forest. You must be good at hiding."

"Yeah, been doing that a lot." Nameless said indifferently.

Durin frowned suspiciously. "Whom were you hiding from? Is your past shady?"

Nameless gazed at him firmly. "More than…but not for the reasons you think. I never killed anyone who didn't deserve it and I was never after children."

Rhianaye looked at him testily. "So you like children?"

Nameless' demeanor clouded. "Not really, but I am not out to kill them if that is what you fear."

"What are you doing here?" Celebriel rejoined.

"Finding temporary shelter." Nameless replied and picked up the pot. He walked over to where he had his arrow and his satchel and placed it there.

"You said you were going to leave when we last saw you, yet you are still here. Why?" Durin's scowl grew deeper and more scrutinizing.

Nameless sat down and leaned his elbows on his knees. "Found good, dry caverns and lots of food. Where else am I going to get that?"

Durin raised his hand dejected. "See what you've done by feeding him? You kept him here. He would have left already hadn't it been for you."

Thrárin crossed his arms and pouted.

"Leave the boy alone Prince Durin. He simply tried to help and I will hold what he did for me close to my heart." Nameless rejoined calmly.

Thrárin grinned at that and Nameless almost….almost reciprocated….

"So when are you leaving?" Durin raised his brow.

"Soon….don't rush yourself master. I am not bothering anyone." Nameless rebuked.

"Well, at least our effort didn't go to waste. We met the famous Nameless." Rhianaye humphed.

Nameless looked at her with mild interest. "Whom might you be?"

"My sister. Durin's twin!" Thrárin answered quickly.

"I told you not to tell him details about our family!" Durin snapped.

"He is good…" Thrárin pointed at him.

Nameless leaned his head back calmly. "So I have all the Royal siblings right in front of me….what an honor." He murmured.

Lis lifted her sword. "Be careful." She warned.

Nameless raised his hand elegantly at her. "Along with their formidable bodyguard of course."

"And an Elven warrior Princess." Celebriel smiled widely.

Nameless evaluated them all for several moments and then inclined his head. "It is a humbling experience to get to meet you all. Truly unexpected, but none the less much valued."

"Why so?" Durin rejoined.

"Do you know many Petty Dwarves who can brag about meeting the sons and daughters of Thorin Oakenshield?" Nameless raised his brow.

Durin looked at him speechless.

"There you have it then." –Nameless' heavy regard fell on each and every one- "What an interesting pack you truly are. By your looks it seems that only the youngest boy took after his mother's hair and countenance."

"I got her eyes." Rhianaye chimed in.

Nameless looked at her and his stiff face lines seemed to soften imperceptibly. "Indeed you have…beautiful eyes. Your parents are very blessed to have you all."

Rhianaye crossed her hands behind her back and sauntered over to him. She leaned down inquisitively. "Thank you. If you don't mind me asking do you have any children of your own?"

His eyes wandered upon the rotten leaves of the forest bed and it took him far too long to reply. "I have a daughter."

Durin's brows creased. "Is she dead?"

Nameless lifted his gaze at the prince. "No."

"Then why are you here, homeless, hungry, dirty and penniless and not with her? Taking care of her?" Rhianaye continued casually.

"Yeah that is what daddies do. That's what our papa does." Thrárin grinned and swiveled his bottom side to side eager to partake in the conversation.

A nerve twitched under Nameless' green eye and his lips curled up disgusted. "Then your papa is a better father than I ever was. My daughter doesn't know I exist." His voice lost all color and emotion. It seemed completely void as it spoke those words.

"Why so? Doesn't she like you? What have you done to her?" Durin looked at him inquisitively.

"You ask too many questions that I cannot answer…." Nameless threw him a piercing glare.

"Are they secrets much like your name?" Durin didn't back off.

Nameless nodded. "Yes."

"Do you have any grandchildren?" Rhianaye sniffed him and then pulled back disgusted.

The nerve on his face went into a spasm distorting his features for a few moments. He rubbed it fiercely in order to alleviate it. "I do…." He spat between his teeth.

"So don't you want to meet them? Aren't you curious what they look like?" Rhianaye drew back and gazed at him loftily.

Nameless lifted his eyes slowly at her. "Judging by the lot of you, I am not sure I do want to meet them." His tone was only half serious though.

Thrárin frowned. "Hey, that wasn't nice."

Nameless' mouth tilted in mild amusement. "I guess it wasn't young master."

"How about a wife. Do you have one?" Celebriel rejoined.

Nameless' face clouded and his eyes became vacant and distant. "She died a long time ago."

Rhianaye cringed. "Oh, I am sorry."

Durin averted his eyes.

Thrárin patted his arm. "It's okay mister."

Nameless offered him a fleeting look and this time a ghostly smile almost formed on his lips. His thanks was a slight inclination of the head.

Durin humphed. "I really cannot understand. You prefer to find refuge in these dark caverns and depend on a four year old lunatic to deliver you food, instead of going to Erebor to ask for an honest job and an abode. Many wandering Dwarves have done the same and my father accepted all of them. Few have been driven away and that was because they were thieves and murderers."

"Or the ones pretending to be mother's lost father." Rhianaye added.

Nameless' head jerked up sharply and his face became livid.

"So why aren't you making an effort to come? Ask my father for help. He won't deny you, unless you are a murderer and a thief. Are you?" Durin raised his brow.

Nameless lowered his eyes. "I am not a killer nor a bandit. I visited the mighty King of the North in the past briefly and I did talk to him and his wife. I realized quickly that I don't belong there. Now enough with all this questioning from all of you. The sun is about to set. You need to get out of here. I wouldn't want to see your mother in pain from losing her precious children." –Then he addressed Lis- "You are supposed to be their bodyguard. What are you doing allowing them to remain in this accursed forest after dark? This place is dangerous."

Lis buttoned up. "You are not going to tell me how to do my job."

"Well, apparently someone has to tell you, because you are a little more than a child yourself and you have four younger children in your care." Nameless gestured with his head at them.

"She is under my orders." Durin rejoined haughtily.

"God forbid if she wasn't, young master. I see you have your father's haughtiness. Still you are too young to have proper judgement of what might be a rather dangerous situation." -Nameless noticed. Durin got ready to reply, but Nameless raised his hand- "Despite the brave blood that runs in your veins and the old soul that resides in your heart you still have a long way to go to prove yourself. Now settle down." The command in his voice was quiet, but surprisingly more than enough.

Durin crossed his arms and for the first time found himself without a come-back for somebody else apart from his formidable father.

Celebriel engaged Durin's elbow. "He is a warrior prince and I am a warrior princess. We are not afraid!"

Durin gave her a careful look and then his eyelids fluttered and his brows furrowed in sudden confusion. His hand came up to rub his forehead.

"Nevertheless this is not a place for children, especially of your royal blood. Get out of here before you all get in trouble. I don't want to be responsible for the safety of Mountain King's children. Go." Nameless shooed them.

Thrárin came over and knelt in front of him. "How about you mister?"

Nameless gazed at him briefly. "What about me?"

"Are you going to stay here?" Thrárin's eyes were eating him up.

"Yes, but not for long. I am not going to bother anyone so I would appreciate if you didn't raise Erebor's alarms on me." Nameless' voice was diminished.

Thrárin frowned. "No one will chase you mister Nameless. You are under my protection now."

The cold curtain that always covered Nameless' eyes got lifted to show a faint twinkle of gratitude that only the young prince saw. "Lucky me." He said in a hushed tone.

Thrárin stood up and looked at his sister. "We have to bring him more food."

Rhianaye rolled her eyes. "They are going to figure us out and they are going to ground us for life snotty!"

Lis sheathed her sword. "Well, if your mom finds out she will probably follow you out here in order to bring this man back to Erebor herself." She murmured.

Nameless' tensed upon that. He kept his intense stare on the young girl for far too long before turning back to Thrárin. "I appreciate the food that you are bringing me, but I don't want anymore visitors. I love my solitude. Now leave! Can't you see that your brother is not feeling very well?" He turned towards Durin.

Rhianaye looked back suddenly. "Hey are you okay?"

Celebriel was holding Durin's elbow tightly. "He seems to be having head problems."

Lis came over and knelt in front of him. "Master are you alright?"

Durin shook his head, trying to clear away the whispers that made an abrupt appearance at the edge of his perception along with a throbbing headache. "I don't know."

Rhianaye engaged his other elbow. "Come on, we have to go…. That's enough for one day." –Then she turned to Thrárin- "Snotty, come! We are leaving! Now!"

Thrárin looked at Nameless. "I will bring you more food mister, don't worry."

Nameless' lips curled up in a faded smile. "You don't have to do that, boy."

"I want to!" Thrárin grinned and then waved at him as he rushed after his siblings.

No one else turned to look at the weird Dwarf who sat at the base of that tree observing them as they walked quickly out of the clearing, holding Durin protectively in their midst. None truly spoke about what happened in there or what their feelings were for this trek. Everyone was silent as they reached the borders of Mirkwood long after the sun had finally set. Durin kept to himself mostly, fearing that he would hear those faint indiscernible whispers again. His eyes were concentrated on the elven path under his feet as he felt thankful for the presence of Rhianaye on one side and of the Elven irritation on the other.

Only when Rhianaye pressed his forearm did he look up again. "Are you okay?"

He gave her a weak nod.

Lis grasped his hands tightly in hers. "Are you in any pain my Lord?" She sounded dreadfully worried.

"It's just a headache…" He answered.

Rhianaye frowned. "That is peculiar. I didn't feel a pain like I usually do when you feel it." She touched her forehead.

Durin pulled free of both of them. "I am fine Rhianaye, now let's get out of here. Mom is going to be mad if we miss dinner."

Rhianaye gave him another concerned look and followed Lis and Thrárin out of the forest. Just when Durin was about to do the same Celebriel's hand grabbed his forearm. He looked down at her. "What is it now?"

"I heard those whispers too." She said quietly.

Durin's eyes darted to his siblings. "Be quiet."

She frowned.

"I don't want to worry them." He added.

She gave him a nod.

"Did you hear them? I am not mad then? Father says he hears them too." Durin's eyes filled with dread.

"I heard them inside your mind." -Celebriel pointed at his head- "I can do that when I want to."

Durin's brow wrinkled.

"Elven magic." She whispered with a smile.

He closed his eyes.

Her hand tightened around his arm. "Don't worry. We will figure out what they are."

Durin opened his eyes and his regard was intense.

"You are not alone. I will try to help you. Okay?" Celebriel smiled reassuringly.

"Okay…" he muttered.

She rose on the balls of her feet and gave him a fleeting kiss on the cheek. "I will come find you again! I will ask my father about the whispers."

It was his turn to clasp her forearm abruptly. "No…don't tell him anything. If he knows we met and sneaked so close to Dol Guldur he will tell my father and I will get in trouble. Please…" It was also his turn to beg her.

Celebriel patted the back of his hand. "Okay, I will try to find information in the library myself."

He drew back and gave her a nod. "Good."

"Wait for me at this spot in two days' time at noon. Okay?" Celebriel smiled.

Durin felt his stomach clenching. "Okay…" he whispered.

Celebriel waved at the rest of them. "Goodbye!"

Rhianaye reciprocated, Lis' looked at her with loathing and Thrárin smiled happily. "Bye!"

Durin offered the silver hair that was waving down her waist as she cantered in the forest a timid smile.

Rhianaye looked at him in disbelief. "You are smiling at her."

Durin felt instant grounding. "So what?"

"You never smile at girls….." Rhianaye raised her brow.

"She is not like any other girl I have ever met." He replied and without waiting for his sister to answer he got out of Mirkwood, climbed his pony taking Thrárin with him and took the lead back to Erebor. This trek in the Elven forest was not going to be easy to forget for more than one reasons.

* * *

 

"I assure you my Lord, that I am not imagining things." It was a day later that Elrohir was walking proudly next to Thorin Oakenshield. Despite the fact that he was far taller than the King of the North at that moment he felt the need to stretch to his full height against the King's highly poised stature that declared clearly who was leading and who was expected to follow. Dwalin was walking closely behind the King with his eyes to the ground but his attention solemnly in their conversation.

"I've seen no elfling roaming around my forest. My guards would have certainly reported such a rare sighting." Thorin raised his brow and observed Dis who was with Thrárin, Lady Íth and Brunar close to the river shores.

"She might have not entered your forest yet, but I am sure she has been roaming around in Mirkwood…." Elrohir rejoined.

"That is your territory or am I mistaken? You want me to guard Thranduil's lands for him?" Thorin turned to him with a raised brow.

Elrohir's demeanor closed up. "I wanted to say before you interrupted me that I am certain your son and my daughter are meeting secretly in Mirkwood."

Thorin inhaled deeply and threw him a haughty gaze that was meant to slight. "My ten year old son is meeting your ten year old daughter in Mirkwood…." He drawled.

Elrohir straightened the collar of his elegant silver dress. "My nine year old daughter."

"And they've been able to slip under Tauriel's attention…" Thorin continued with the same dismissive tone.

Dwalin smirked at that.

"Tauriel however able, is not omnipotent and Mirkwood is dense. The foliage is thick, there are places two kids can easily hide…" Elrohir rebuked.

"Very well let me humor you for a moment and assume my son -for some reason I cannot comprehend- will go under my nose to meet with your daughter. Why would they remain in Mirkwood tell me? If this is some kind of children's game there are much more interesting things to do in the River forest." Thorin continued.

"I am not going to antagonize whose forest is the best or who is guarding it more tightly…." Elrohir's face was slowly becoming crimson.

Thorin raised his hand in authority and the Elf instantly stopped. "Nevertheless I haven't seen a trace of your daughter anywhere near my grounds. Do you wish me to extend my supervision over Mirkwood?"

Elrohir paled as he knew that wouldn't stand well with the Elven King.

Thorin judged his silence as a sign of defeat and continued. "I will not destroy the balance I have with Thranduil. Talk to him about your daughter, not me."

"But it is your son who is meeting her!" Elrohir hurled back.

Dwalin raised his brow. "Lower your tone." He warned.

The Elf looked at him angrily.

Thorin smirked and kept his eyes on Thrárin who was swimming close to the shore of the river with Dis' supervision. "Have you seen them together in Mirkwood or anywhere else for that matter or are we just assuming here?"

Elrohir grabbed his temples. "No I haven't seen them, but I am seriously suspecting that is what is happening."

Thorin shrugged. "If you haven't seen my son with her there is nothing I can do."

"I swear the dwarfish stubbornness is going to drive me mad. I don't know how Thranduil has managed to sustain such a loyal friendship with you. I told you Celebriel admitted that she went in Mirkwood at least twice and when I asked her what she did, she told me she saw some dwarflings from afar." Elrohir erupted.

Thorin shrugged. "And how does that prove that she has seen Durin again?"

Elrohir rolled his eyes. "I believe she is lying. She was way too happy when she talked about those dwarflings and I know how enthusiastic she is with everything concerning Erebor and your family. First time she met your son she acted truly inappropriately. I believe she likes your son a lot and I know her well enough to be certain that she will try to find a way to meet with him again."

"Inappropriately?" Thorin's brow rose again.

Elrohir looked towards the river and crossed his arms. "She was way too friendly and way too young to be messing around with Dwarves in this manner. She has enough friends within our kin. I don't know what has taken over her with yours. It is truly baffling."

Dwalin straightened up at the offense, but Thorin's astute gaze stopped him from speaking.

"Maybe the poor child has found in my grounds a freedom that is missing in yours." Thorin rebuked calmly.

Elrohir buttoned up. "Like my sister you mean and that Ranger you've been hiding?"

Thorin crossed his arms and smiled. "I am not hiding anyone. Your kin seems to be leaking into mine for some reason. Instead of asking me to guard my grounds better and restraint my children from finding new friends –if that is the case here- maybe you'd do well to ask yourself why are they coming over to my lands. They are probably searching for something they cannot get in yours."

Elrohir's eyes spewed fire. "That is highly offensive."

"As is the assumption that my son has seduced your daughter to run away from home on some silly escapade in Mirkwood or that my kin is causing trouble to your family by offering temporary shelter to your sister!" Thorin thundered.

Dwalin inhaled deeply and uncrossed his arms.

Elrohir blanched.

Thorin's eyes pierced through him relentless. "I shall not abide to another such insult from you, is that clear?" He warned.

Elrohir inhaled deeply and held Thorin's gaze, but he didn't speak.

"I will take your silence as consent. As is I will talk to Durin and I will notify the guards to keep a tighter eye on him. If I notice your daughter in my forest I shall inform Thranduil. I would suggest you keep a closer eye on your child in turn. Instead of accusing others of misconduct, maybe you should accuse yourself of neglect!" Thorin spat.

Elrohir's trembling lips parted. "That insult would be enough to cause war…" He rebuked.

"Once upon a time maybe. Not now." -Thorin raised his brow coldly- "When you reach the Elven realm inform Elrond that I will keep the Ranger for his tracking skills."

Elrohir licked his bottom lip and thrust his chin up. "You have way so much nerve."

Thorin detained him with his eyes. "Inform him also that if Lady Arwen decides to remain here longer I will not be the one to send her back. Elrond needs to come here and deal with his family as you have to deal with yours. The same I will do for mine. End of conversation." He spat vehemently.

Elrohir was trembling from head to toes. "This shall not go unanswered!" He pointed at Thorin.

The King smirked. "Be assured I will await for your answer with bated breath." He rebuked coldly and then turned to the river to feast his eyes on Thrárin and Dis.

Elrohir gasped audibly and stomped away from them, fuming.

Dwalin crossed his arms and chuckled. "Cheeky creature."

"Very different from his sister." Thorin nodded and a small frown formed on his forehead when he noticed some commotion between Dis and Lady Íth.

"You think Durin and this elfling are meeting in secret at Mirkwood then?" Dwalin turned his attention there too.

Thorin gave him an abstract nod. "It wouldn't surprise me."

Dwalin smirked. "You didn't tell him that…"

"I'd never admit such a folly to that idiot. I will deal with this without his interference. Ask the guards to do a sweep of Mirkwood and I will send the ravens to inform Thranduil. I wouldn't trust this Elf with anything concerning my son." Thorin stated.

"Hey, what's going on down there?" Dwalin frowned and pointed towards Thorin's family.

"I don't know, come on." Thorin said and marched quickly towards the shore when he saw Lady Íth and Dis yelling towards the frothing water. It looked like someone was struggling to stay above the surface. For a few confused moments Thorin's heart climbed up to his throat until his eyes were able to see Thrárin cradled in Dis' arms. That is when a cry of despair tore through the air.

"Brunar help him!" Ith yelled and fell in the river. Her long dress, heavy boots and tight vest made it difficult for her to swim fast enough to reach Brunar who had apparently drifted further up the river and seemed to be trapped between some nets.

"What in the name of Mahal…" Dwalin cried as he run after Thorin.

The moment Thorin reached Dis he grasped her arm. "Is his hurt?!" He looked at Thrárin with eyes full of dread.

Dis pushed him away. "He is fine! Help Brunar!"

Thorin pressed through the gathered crowd at the shore and went in.

"Something is dragging him down!" She yelled when he saw Thorin arriving.

"The nets mom!" Brunar coughed and splashed about.

She pointed down. "His leg is trapped in the nets! Help him! I cannot keep him up!"

Thorin pulled the bowie knife he had on his thigh sheath and dove under. It was very hard to discern anything as the commotion that Brunar and his mother were causing at the river bed had raised a lot of sand so everything was blurry. The weed didn't assist Thorin's effort either, nevertheless he managed to reach Brunar's trapped leg. He steadied it with one hand and with the other he used the knife to cut the ropes. Despite the sharpness of his weapon or the efficiently with which Thorin was using it he was not fast enough to cut through it without needing more air. He released and resurfaced. Ith's eyes were full of terror, but Dwalin had also reached them and was helping her hold Brunar above the surface.

"Keep him up!" Thorin hollered and Dwalin gave him a quick nod. Then the King dove under again and began his laboring around the ropes. It took him two more efforts to manage and release the boy. When he resurfaced Dwalin was already swimming towards the shore with a bawling Brunar in his arms and Íth was following them.

By the time Thorin managed to get to shore, Íth was cradling Brunar like the most priceless treasure. Dwalin was holding his head, pacing up and down and cursing under his breath and Dis was looking lost from one to the other. Thorin felt a pair of thin arms circling his waist and he looked down at Thrárin who was sniffling. "Is he going to be okay daddy?"

Thorin closed his eyes and swept his son in his arms. "He is fine my love. Everything is fine. Are you hurt anywhere?" He checked on his son's face trying to calm down his heart.

Dis clasped his bicep. "He is alright wolf."

Thorin planted a fierce kiss on Thrárin's cheek and the boy hugged him tightly. Dis looked lost at Lady Íth. "I have to go to her." She said.

Thrárin kicked his dad. "Let me down daddy. I want to go to my friend too!" He yelled and Thorin obliged.

"Feeling lucky your son knows how to swim better than last year?" Dwalin's voice was broken and his countenance dark.

Thorin sheathed his knife. "I am feeling lucky we didn't pull out a dead child from this river today." He whispered.

Dwalin nodded and looked at the gathered people who were crowding the family. "That's it! Show is over! Leave!" -Dwalin snapped - "Allow the mother some space!"

As the people began withdrawing with several whispered prayers towards Mahal's mercy and the King's quick reactions Thorin remained behind not wanting to impose. Nevertheless when the hazel eyes of the beautiful dwarrowdam lifted up and engaged his it was as if an unspoken spell fell between them.

Thorin remained breathless looking at her and felt his eyes watering. It was difficult to control his emotions because he could have been in the place of this mother today. Thrárin could have gotten trapped just as easily at the nest and then it would be him screaming for help for the life of his son. Ith's eyes reciprocated all the emotions he felt in his heart for several moments and then she did the most unexpected thing. Her jawline clenched, she released her son, stood up, walked over and embraced the King of the North.

Complete and utter silence fell around them as everyone stood frozen and mute.

Her arms wrapped tightly behind his back and her head leaned on his chest. Only then did she allow all the tears she had been holding to be released. "You saved him…you saved me only child…you saved my boy…bless you …bless your heart…" she muttered.

Thorin's arms lingered above her back for what felt like an eternity and his eyes found Dis. He swallowed heavily, lowered his hands carefully on her back and gave a gentle kiss on the top of her head. "It's okay." He whispered.

Ith's arms clutched him fiercely for a few more moments before releasing him. Then she hurried back to her son. That left Thorin speechless, unexpectedly affected and slightly trembling with the eyes of Dis dissecting him and Dwalin's looking at him guardedly. The only pair of eyes he didn't notice were his wife's who stood a few feet behind Dis looking at the whole scene with a pale face full of apprehension.

The Queen's brows furrowed and her eyes shadowed upon Thorin for several muted moments. Then she looked down at Dis and came down to one knee. "What happened? Can I help?"

Thorin inhaled deeply when he heard his wife's voice. His eyelids fluttered and two tears cascaded down the side of his nose as he felt the sudden need to flee...

"Thorin?" Eilin looked up at him with a demand he couldn't handle at that moment.

"Take care of them." He said and walked away with as much strength of mind as this emotional trial had left him with.

* * *

 


	13. Somewhere ocean deep....

 

* * *

When the door of his office shut Thorin stumbled to his desk and unbuckled the sword sheath from his back. It clanked on the floor and then he did the same with the sheath that was carrying the knife that saved Brunar's life. He grabbed the edge of the desk and closed his eyes. His heart was racing and his head had the traces of a throbbing headache that came literally out of nowhere. He left the river shore as if the ghouls of Morgoth were on his tail. The eyes of his wife had felt way too penetrating and he knew he had given a little more attention to Lady Íth than would be deemed suitable. Unfortunately his actions stemmed more from the heart and less from logic.

He perceived in Ith's face a horrified mother who almost lost her son. A woman who was struggling alone to raise her child and saw him hanging from the edge of the world for a few terrifying moments. The he viewed himself in her stead, holding Thrárin dead in his arms, looking down at his purple skin and blue lips. The fear that overtook his heart then was almost crushing. His son's lifeless face had been as realistic as his bloody hand after waking up from that nightmare. He pictured water dripping out of Thrárin's half-open lips and no pulse under his fingers. In this nightmarish image Thorin had failed to cut the nets that had trapped his son's leg. It was his fault that his baby boy died so horribly. For a few unreal ticks of his heart he lost all track of reality like he had done back in his rooms. Everything blacked out and only the deceased face of his son was in front of his eyes sucking him dry of all reason.

A single breath away and he was back at the river shore facing the poor mother who was looking at him with such desolation that his eyes stung with the preludes of tears. He knew how she felt. He had felt it too when he imaged his baby boy dead and that had been enough to almost halt the erratic beating of his heart once and for all. When Lady Íth marched up to him he already knew what she was about to do and he didn't want to back away. He wanted to offer some consolation to this creature.

The saddest part was that he needed someone to offer him solace him, but how could he ask Eilin for that without admitting that he was also probably losing his mind? The last few days after approaching Dol Guldur he felt as if he was somewhere ocean deep lost in memories, ghostly images and shadowy murmurs that bespoke of death. Just how could he share these fears with the most important person in his life when he should be doing everything not to overburden her more than she already was? He couldn't reveal all those chaotic images without terrorizing Eilin with his brief loses of reality. Not now….not when she was so taxed over what had been happening with all those candidates. Not when their relationship was so turbulent and the fatigue from raising their three children was draining away every single ounce of their remaining energy.

He was the father and husband of this family. He was supposed to be the pillar that held their foundations firmly against every turmoil. He was not going to become a liability over something that he could solve on his own, correct? However sometimes his mind decided to give way and collapse under the darkness that was dancing aggressively at the edge of his awareness. That is when he was unable to hold his instinctive reactions. At the balcony after seeing that nightmare and losing sense of reality he was powerless to stop his body from almost shutting down so he held Eilin like a drowning man.

Today it was not much different when he saw the dead face of Thrárin and Lady Íth embraced him. His mind seized the opportunity to give solace with the faded hope he could draw some back from her….for a single moment….just until he could get a grasp of reality again. When he saw the eyes of Eilin burning through him visibly shocked with an undertone of accusation, everything crumbling down around him. The aftershocks of what almost happened to poor Brunar, the ghostly image of his dead Thrárin, the momentary loss of awareness that was quicker than the blink of an eye and finally Eilin having seen his kiss on Lady Ith's head was enough to make him flee.

This was not going to be the end of it, was it? Oh…no…not even close.

Eilin was going to come down on him hard and he was not ready to face her. Not while his mind felt so confused and muddled. Not now that he was holding himself up with great difficulty without noticing that he had gone terribly pale and his hands were shaking. Not now that the pain behind his eyes was spreading its ruthless tentacles around his temples and not when the sudden fear that had overtaken him before seemed to be rushing towards him again with the speed of a wild horse. He inhaled sharply and felt sudden pressure on the bridge of nose. He blinked and felt something warm trickling to his upper lip. His hand came up to wipe the sticky liquid and when he saw the blood he frowned. Now was this real or was he dreaming awake again?

_Akha-gum-ishi ashi gurum*_

Thorin's lips parted and he felt his fingers tingling with the preludes of numbness. His eyesight got foggy and the pressure in his nose felt almost painful. He reached up and covered his ears in order to protect them from the filthiness that seemed to derive from hollows of his mind. It came out of nowhere with an otherworldly growl that was terrifying enough to rip the fabric of his reality apart.

"No…not again." He frowned and hauled himself around the desk. His legs felt unsteady as he staggered to the door. Consciousness was slipping away from him swiftly. He saw the smudges of blackness at the edge of his eyesight and he knew he was very close to passing out. His hand wrapped around the door knob, but instead of opening it and asking the guards for help, he turned the key and locked it. His eyes fell alarmed to the desk were there was a jag of water. He reached out and tried to take a step towards it, but there was only darkness waiting for him after he released the door knob. The only thing he remembered as he crashed to the floor was a sharp pain flaring at the back of his head….

….then nothing else.

-.-

_"Mommy's belly has a baby?" Durin asked._

_Eilin kneeled down close to her son and caressed his hair. "Yes my love."_

_Durin's face formed the best frown he could master and he pulled Rhianaye from the hands. "Another one?"_

_Thorin's lips curled up and he observed his family with an expression of absolute content. Eilin gave him an affectionate look and her cheeks blushed. Then she turned her attention to the unsteady legs of Rhianaye who was trying to hopscotch while her brother was leading her on carefully. That was young Durin's idea of training his sister in balance. Something that was causing Rhianaye a lot of grief as she was still rather shaky. Nevertheless their parents never stopped Durin from trying to find ways to help her walk better….or speak better for that matter._

_"Baby…?" Rhianaye looked surprised at her mom._

_Durin frowned. "Say a bigger sentence." He commanded her._

_Thorin raised his brow at Eilin who shook her head._

_"Mommy baby." Rhianaye flashed Durin with a toothless grin._

_"Mommy's belly has a baby." Durin repeated patiently._

_"Mommy belly baby." Rhianaye beamed._

_Durin rolled his eyes and looked at his mother who was gazing at him lovingly. "Have I ever told you how proud I am of you for taking such good care of your sister my love?"_

_Thorin felt his heart melting._

_Durin nodded. "Yeah, many times."_

_She pulled him in her arms and that caused Rhianaye to lose her balance, but Eilin was quick enough to draw her in too. Then she gave each cheek a sloppy kiss. Rhianaye giggled and Durin wiped his face disgusted. "Ew mom…no…."_

_"Look at your sister how much she loves my kisses." Eilin smiled and pampered her daughter with them. Rhianaye leaned her head on the Queen's shoulder and wrapped her small arms around her neck._

_Durin pushed her in order to get away. "I hate kisses…." He declared._

_Thorin chuckled._

_"Why can't you be as cuddly and loving as her?" Eilin rubbed her nose on his soft neck._

_Durin giggled. "Get away!"_

_"You used to be so cuddly when you were a baby!" Eilin raised her brow seriously at him._

_"Now you have another baby in there. He will be cuddly and you can leave me alone…" Durin said seriously._

_Thorin laughed._

_"Don't encourage him." Eilin glared._

_"Maybe a girl?" Rhianaye pointed at Eilin's belly._

_"It's a boy…that's final!" Durin glowered._

_"What is final?" Rhianaye asked innocently and began sucking her thumb._

_"Something that never changes." -Durin raised his brows and then looked at his mom- "Why another baby mom? Aren't we enough for you?"_

_Eilin caressed the fluff that had begun forming on his cheek with her nose. "Are you jealous my mighty son?"_

_"No….but aren't you bored to do all this from the start again? Baby screaming, not eating, throwing up, poop everywhere…yack…" Durin shook his head._

_Eilin raised her brow and then turned at Thorin. "Can you believe his perception?"_

_"He's got very good genes passed down by his father, no doubt." He winked at her._

_"You are conceited…" She smiled._

_"More than and for good reason." Thorin agreed._

_Eilin turned to her son and assumed a serious face. "Mommy and daddy created another baby and now we all have to accept it, honey. In nine full moons your baby brother or sister is going to arrive and I want you to be ready to love and take care of them. I will need the help of both of you, alright?"_

_Rhianaye kissed her mom's cheek firmly. "Sure mommy!"_

_Durin rolled his eyes. "Whatever…"_

_Eilin jerked him playfully. "Hey mister, I am expecting more from you than from anyone else okay? You are the big brother of this family and that is the most important position ever. I will need you to help me both with the new baby and with your sister because I trust your judgment immensely. Do you think you are up for the task?"_

_Durin's chest puffed up and his countenance sobered up. A gleam of pride toyed in his eyes. "Sure mom. I am going to help you."_

_Thorin crossed his arms and his head tilted slightly. A caring smile spread on his lips as he admired the beautiful moment his wife shared with their children._

_"There's my powerful warrior!" Eilin kissed him and this time he didn't resist. Then she turned to her daughter- "And my beautiful little gem." -She pressed her lips on Rhianaye's forehead and her heart filled with love while her eyes welled with tears of happiness. Then her gaze fell on her husband- "Is the architect of all this mess going to stay by the door?"_

_Thorin uncrossed his arms and walked over. Then he kneeled down and swept all three of them in his arms. His lips ghosted Eilin's. "Have I ever told you how much I love you?" He whispered._

_"Many times, but I want to hear it more, more and more…" She reciprocated the gentle touch._

_Durin tried to get released. "Ew dad…stop!"_

_Rhianaye frowned. "Yack!" She agreed with her brother, but neither parent drew back. They kissed softly there in front of their kids, showing them what true love and happiness looked like despite their declarations of repulsion._

_When Thorin pulled back he couldn't contain the happiness in his heart and he searched the doting regard of his wife, but was met with dark eyes that has lost all their color and all their spark. "Eilin?" He cupped her cheek, but her skin was not warm like it had been before…now it was frozen cold. He looked down and saw her arms empty. Only the dead body of a child was laying by her feet. Her empty eyes lifted up to him and an atrocious feeling of desolation crushed him. He pulled back sharply and took several steps away from the hooded figure of his wife._

_The darkness that surrounded him felt humid, heavy and so definitive that his heart dropped. Were the hell were his chambers? Where were his two beautiful children? He had been there holding them in his arms shielding them from the evil of this world. The softness of Eilin's wet mouth had been there captured by his….he remembered the raspberries he had tasted on the suppleness of her bottom lip….yet now he was standing in the darkness surrounded by the muffled sobbing that was coming out of her cold lips. His strong body shuddered hard and he clasped his shoulders to hold himself from falling apart. Not this dream again….he didn't want to be here again. He wanted to find some thread that would pull him back to reality, not linger above his wife as she lamented the death of her son….of their son._

_"Eilin…" He whispered and felt his heart racing._

_The sobs didn't relent. It was as if she couldn't hear him anymore. Of course she couldn't. He was not there with her. Only his spirit was there haunting them. He was already dead in that dream wasn't he? He was already gone and this woman was despairing over the death of her boy and of her husband. A once happy family had been torn apart by the veil…_

_…the veil…._

_…the darkness that lay beyond Eilin hiding in the shadows. He looked down at her, but didn't dare lift his eyes to the boy's face. He was afraid of whom he was going to see. "Eilin…" He repeated without much hope._

_Instead of her though another voice answered him. "You shouldn't have returned here! I told the wizard. I told him to keep you away and he did the exact opposite. This place will claim your life and the life of your son! You shouldn't have returned here!"_

_Thorin looked up and the blue eye that was gazing back at him was so familiar but also so distant to memory. A sharp pain tore through his head and a silent scream formed on his lips. "Father?"_

_"LEAVE this place before it gets you too!" the cry came from behind the cloudy veil that held his father's soul a prisoner and reverberated all around him._

_-.-_

"My Lord?!"

Thorin's eyelids fluttered and his mouth felt dry. He looked around dazed. He was lying on the floor and his eyesight was in level with the crack under his door. There were several pair of boots standing right outside. His fingers flexed and he closed his eyes. His body was very heavy…almost numb. He felt as if he was waking up from a very heavy sleep, but didn't have the strength to move around.

"King Thorin?" -The voice repeated- "Are you sure he is in?"

"Yes Sir the door is locked from the inside. Maybe something happened to him." Another voice joined.

"We have to break it down! King Thorin open up!" A more aggressive one added.

Thorin strived to come to a seated position. He touched the back of his head and there was blood both on his palm but also at the floor. He rubbed his forehead and squeezed his eyes tight.

_I passed out? How the hell…._

"I saw him go in I tell you! He is in there and he might be feeling unwell! Your majesty open up, can you hear us!?"

"Yes you grisly hobgoblins I can hear you…" He murmured and then touched the back of his head again with a hiss of pain.

"Call Lord Balin immediately! He is the only who has keys to the King's office!" the voice commanded.

Thorin's eyes fled to the door anxiously. The last thing he wanted right now was Balin's throttling concern. "I am here! Give me a damned minute!"

Silence was his answer for a few moments, before another voice dared the anxious question. "Are you alright Sir?"

"I am fine." -He grumbled and pushed himself up. His legs felt unsteady to some extend and buckled under him a couple of times before he reached the door, but when he threw it open his countenance was as collected and austere as ever. The first one he saw was Aragorn and next to him were two men of his royal guards- "Why are you trying to bring down my door?" He glowered at the men.

"We thought you were hurt Sir." They both bowed deeply.

"I was asleep you imps. Go back to your posts. A man cannot even close his eyes for a few moments and you have to raise hell." -He dismissed them and then turned to Aragorn- "Come in." He said and left him standing by the door.

He walked over to the bloody spot on the floor and kicked the sheep skin over it clumsily. Aragorn closed the door behind him and looked down. "That looks like fresh blood." He noted.

Thorin gave him a warning glance. "You don't have to state the obvious and keep your voice down." He walked around his desk and sat down heavily. Then he took a clean cloth and pressed it on the back of his head.

Aragorn stood in front of the desk with a frown. "Your guards were not so mistaken were they? You are hurt….what happened?"

Thorin raised his brow and poured himself a glass of water. He should have had that before fainting like a bloody invalid in the middle of his office.

_I fainted?…no way…_

He didn't answer, but when he pulled away the cloth it had become bloody also and that left no trace of suspicion to Aragorn.

"You want me to check on it?" The Ranger offered with a concerned grimace.

"I want you to keep your mouth shut about what you saw in here." Thorin inclined his head annoyed.

Aragorn pressed his lips and lowered his eyes. "If that is your wish."

Thorin closed his eyes and gave him a nod. "It is."

Aragorn hesitated. "What happened to you?"

Thorin leaned his forehead on his palm and shook his head. "I have no idea…I don't remember."

Aragorn's eyes filled with scrutiny. "Did you faint?"

Thorin sighed quietly. "I was just exhausted most probably, don't make more of this than it already is, okay?"

"Do you faint when you get tired?" Aragorn pressed.

Thorin cringed. "Apparently I do."

Aragorn remained thoughtfully silent for several moments. "You sound startled even saying that."

"I am." Thorin admitted.

Aragorn pursed his lips. "First time fainting?"

"First time in centuries. I don't remember myself ever fainting." Thorin confessed.

"Are you sure you don't need any help?" Aragorn pressed his lips and made to come around the office.

Thorin raised his hand. "Please I have enough officers ready to get panicked at me collapsing and a kingdom that doesn't need to learn. I don't need more people concerned with something so trivial."

Aragorn pulled back and crossed his arms. "Forgive me."

Thorin gazed at him fixedly for several moments. "I suppose it could have been worse."

"How so?"

"Balin could have been out there. If he found me like this the questions would have never ended and Oin would have gone berserk." Thorin snorted and pressed his wound one more time to make sure it was not bleeding anymore.

Aragorn's lips formed the traces of a smile. "I am not sure I am doing the right thing by indulging you right now."

Thorin tilted his head. "Oh, believe me you are. The last thing I need is someone on my case."

Aragorn chuckled. "Very well then, just know that I am doing this because I am trying to get on your good side."

"You already have that. What are you doing here?" Thorin discarded the bloody cloth and filled up a second glass of water. He was feeling much better. Only a slight headache was left as a reminder of what happened. No throbbing pain, no uncontrollable fear, no overwhelming anxiety, no whispers…no nightmares…no darkness…no veil.

"I came to thank you for sending the ravens to notify Lord Elrond that you are going to keep us for as long as Lady Arwen wishes. What you did for us means a lot." Aragorn's countenance burst with an embarrassment only his youth could possess as he talked about the love of his life.

Thorin felt his lips curling up. "It was my pleasure."

Aragorn assumed a professional stance. "I also came to report my findings."

On that Thorin's eyes sparked with interest. "Go on."

"I swept the forest and I've found several fire pits that were recent. The tracks indicated a man who possessed a bow that has perfectly rounded tips, which means it is of great craftsmanship and also a heavy satchel that he sometimes uses to store food inside." –Thorin frowned confused and Aragorn grinned- "It leaks…" -He explained and the King smiled- "I think it is the man whose traces we found close to Dol Guldur. I've found well-made sleeping arrangements in one of the caves at a clearing, but there I lost his tracks again. He seems to know how to move around quickly and efficiently. If you want my opinion this man doesn't seem to be a Petty Dwarf. Neither his weapon nor his ways betray a man who begs at the street for food. He seems to be someone highly trained, at least in the art of hiding if not in the art of war also. I'd be careful how to approach if we ever manage to find him, that is."

Thorin shook his head. "Thank you for all this, but for the time being we are going to allow this elusive Dwarf to get away. I want you now to follow my older son instead."

Aragorn crossed his arms with a frown. "Your son…"

Thorin tilted his head. "I know it sounds a highly peculiar request, but I want someone with great expertise to follow Durin when he approaches Mirkwood. You are more experienced in tracking than my men and Durin doesn't suspect you so much. Follow him in the Elven forest and report to me what you see please. Especially if he fraternizes with a certain elfling."

Aragorn grinned. "Whom? Celebriel?"

Thorin pointed at him with a side smile. "That's the name."

"Elrohir's daughter. Now I see were his resentment comes from. Lord Durin apparently stole little Celebriel's heart, although she was in love with the stories of the Lonely Mountain ever since she was able to read, so the game was half-won beforehand."

"Not that my son doesn't have the charm needed to finish the game anyway…." Thorin's voice held a color of teasing mingled with indisputable pride.

Aragorn nodded delighted. "Of course he does."

"So that Elven arrogant prick was right. Durin does know his daughter." Thorin's eyes were thoughtful.

"Most certainly."

"They might be meeting secretly in Mirkwood." Thorin continued.

"Possibly." Aragorn agreed.

Thorin crossed his hands in front of his chin and scowled at his water cup. "Can you do it?"

Aragorn uncrossed his arms. "I'll do anything for you."

"Dear Elessar thank you. Follow my little scallywag and tell me what he is up to…You shall be paid well for your services." Thorin gave him a lopsided smile.

Aragorn bowed deeply. "I will do the best I can, but there will be no money involved between us. Is that clear?"

Thorin's brow arched. "Well, the King in you made his appearance. I feel I am being addressed by my equal right now and that is a rare occurrence which I appreciate deeply. Nevertheless I will pay you…there is no doubt of that."

Aragorn's smile was heartfelt. "You must allow me to have my say, Thorin."

The King frowned.

"No money exchanges hands between us. Our understanding –I want to believe- stands far higher than the material world. Correct?" Aragorn spoke gracefully and with great respect.

Thorin inclined his head. "Indeed, young man."

Aragorn bowed his head. "Therefore feelings are mutual and you comprehend that in such a liaison talking about gold is offensive."

Thorin looked at his crossed hands. "Very well, I will not pay you with gold, but I find a way to repay you in some manner."

Aragorn bowed humbly. "No. This is my repayment for what you have done for me and Arwen all these days. Besides having your trust invested in me is more than enough payment. I require nothing more."

Thorin's eyes beheld him pleased for several moments. "Your words satisfy me immensely. They are spoken by a man of honor and outstanding grace."

Aragorn smiled delighted.

"Please Aragorn, a word of caution…." After several moments Thorin's voice returned heavier somehow.

Aragorn's brow wrinkled. "Of course."

"Follow Durin silently without giving away your presence, but if you see him coming close to Dol Guldur intervene immediately."

"Intervene?" Aragorn rejoined.

"Stop him from approaching by any means. Grab him by the hair and pull him out of Mirkwood. Him and whoever is with him. No exceptions made. No one from my family…." -He paused and swallowed heavily as a violent hand tightened its grip around his throat- "and I mean no one…is allowed close to Dol Guldur on pain of death. Keep everyone away." His voice was haunted.

Aragorn felt all his hair standing on end. "At your orders."

Thorin's eyes seared through him. "That place isn't good for us…" he murmured and those words were mostly meant for his own ears and not for the Ranger.

Aragorn's eyes faltered. "Does all this have to do with what happened to you the other day in Dol Guldur?"

Thorin's gaze stayed intense on the Ranger for a few moments. "Just humor me please." He didn't reply.

"Of course." Aragorn touched his fist above his heart and bowed.

After a few moments the darkness in Thorin's eyes started clearing up. "Be careful out there." He whispered.

Aragorn inclined his head. "You be careful in here." He countered.

Thorin's mouth formed an eerie smile and Aragorn closed the door behind him, leaving the King alone. Thorin remained frozen for a long time with his eyes stuck on the sheep skin which had picked up some of his blood on its edge. His fingers skimmed through his hair and touched the small gash on his skin. He winced and his gaze landed on a clean scroll. His jawline flexed as he opened it up and began scribbling everything he could remember from those whispers. Then he stayed there and read them again and again until his eyes felt dry and stinging. When he decided that he had enough of mind games, he locked the scroll in his safest drawer next to Eilin's baby belt and left his office without taking neither his discarded sword, nor his knife.

-.-

When he reached Lady Ith's door he was too irritated by his wet clothes that were sticking on his sweaty body, too paranoid that someone would be able to see the blood on the back of his head so he kept shuffling through his hair and too pained by a new headache that had formed at the point of impact. He yearned to forget everything and go through the hot springs. To get buried under the watery curtain and remain there until all the pains of his body gave up. Then he longed to return to his chambers and get in bed with Eilin in his arms. He wanted to hear her whisper that she would stand guard as he prayed to have a nightmare free sleep. Still none of this was feasible as there were other people that needed to be taken care of before he was allowed his rest. Mainly Brunar and his mother, but above everyone else, his wife.

The door suddenly opened before he had a chance to knock and he took a step back surprised. Dis looked up at him for a few moments and then pushed him back and closed the door behind her. "What the hell are you doing here? What happened down at the river was more than enough don't you think? Why do you have to give more reasons to Eilin to get madder than she already is?"

Thorin's eyes weakened. He had been expecting a retribution of some sort, but Dis' attack had been so direct that he momentarily lost what remained of his already wrecked composure.

"Don't look at me like that. I chastised your poor wife for becoming paranoid about your affiliation with Lady Ith, but after what I saw today I think it was you I should have reprimanded instead! Her jealousy is justified and here you are feeding it. What the hell are you doing Thorin?!" Dis' palm pushed him another step back.

"Wait…" He closed his eyes with a grimace of pain.

"I will not wait. Find a way to excuse what you did to your poor wife, because she loves you so much she is going insane with what is happening. Stop tormenting her you bloody idiot with your thoughtlessness…" Dis grumbled.

"Dis please wait…" He tried again.

She shoved him to the wall and came up to his face. "Why did you have to kiss her on the damned head? Tell me why!?" She spat.

He opened his eyes and they were teary. His lips parted. "Dis give me a moment…"

"Was that kiss justified?"

"Wasn't it after what happened in that damned river?! She almost lost her child!" He rebuked suddenly.

Dis frowned and pulled back slightly.

"You are expecting too much from me…everyone does…" Thorin was forcing himself not to tear up with every single inch of his will power.

Dis' brow arched. "Asking you not to kiss one of your dwarrowdams in front of your wife, even if that kiss was innocent is asking you too much? What the hell are you saying Thorin?"

He pushed her away and walked up to the door. "Leave me…."

She grabbed his forearm and swung him around. "Tell me what is going on!"

He pulled all his tears back with a lot of effort and clenched his teeth against the crushing feelings that were threatening to overthrow him. "I said leave me…enough!" His voice may have been commanding but he was unable to stop his lips from trembling and she noticed.

A streak of uncertainty played in Dis' eyes and she released him. "Thorin are you alright?"

He cupped his forehead and leaned against the door panel. "Are you honestly asking me that now? You didn't seem to care if I was alright before…" The accusation was clear.

The resolution in her tone began wavering as she observed for the first time the paleness on his cheeks. "I am sorry I yelled at you, but what happened will create more problems on your already turbulent relationship with your wife. Considering the fact that I talked to her not so long ago about the same matter and I scolded her heavily, you can also recognize how much guilt I feel for reprimanding her when all the while she was right and you were wrong."

"So your job here is to measure who is wrong, who is right and how much we are of each?" His voice was diminished and that worried Dis even more.

"My job is to help you both get over whatever is distressing you….and right now I am not so certain who is being more distraught by this situation and who needs more shielding." Dis' scowl deepened.

"Judging by your awful chiding a moment ago, that'd be my wife." Thorin's lips upturned in a bitter smile.

Dis crossed her arms and smirked at her boots. "You have no idea how hard I came down on her."

Thorin's eyes filled with sadness. "Don't do that to her please."

Dis sulked. "Are you defending her?"

"With my life if need be." He looked up solemnly.

"Then shelter her from yourself above all, because you are the only one who can hurt her this bad." Dis tilted her head.

Thorin leaned his head back and felt his wound flaring up. He hissed and made to touch it, but the last moment stopped. "You mean about what happened with Lady Ith…."

Dis eyes scrutinized him and tried to tug him away from the door in order to look at the back of his head. Something he resisted. "Yes that. I understand you feared for the boy's life and that she hugged you first, but what came over you to reciprocate in this manner?"

Thorin pushed her prying hands away. "I don't know."

"You don't know why you kissed her?" Dis' slapped his shoulder and grabbed his chin. Then she spun his head around and looked at the bloody patch staining his tangled hair.

"No…" he lied.

"Maybe Eilin is right then…." Dis continued and drew his hair away in order to check on the gash.

"About what?" He managed to get away from her again.

"That Íth is different from all the other women who gush over you all the time." Dis raised her brow.

Thorin's brows met angrily. "Is this what you are talking about behind my back?"

"You are giving us reasons…don't you think?" Dis reproached.

Thorin crossed his arms and leaned against the door. "I find Lady Íth a very good mother and she has earned my respect for that. She is trying to raise her son alone and she has many demons torturing her after the death of her husband. I sympathize with her. Nothing more or less."

"Still you don't go around kissing all the widowed mothers in the kingdom. Therefore you see something more in her…." Dis didn't give up on her effort to see his wound.

He thwarted her hands. "Possibly a friend, but nothing more Dis. What is going through your mind? Are you becoming as distrustful as Eilin now?" His eyes filled with sorrow.

Dis lips curled down and she drew back. "That sounded awful, didn't it?"

"More than." He rubbed his face.

She touched his bicep gently. "I am sorry wolf, but you have to be more discreet. I understand that you might feel friendly towards her, but your wife won't see it that way. Hell, even Lady Íth might misjudge your actions and you don't want that."

"I know…." -His nod was exhausted- "Believe me I never meant to give reason to Eilin to doubt me. Her distrust is killing me."

Dis averted her eyes. "I know my love."

Thorin's lips curved down.

"You have to ask for her forgiveness…" Dis added.

"Without even requiring for some faith on her part?" Thorin looked at her sideways.

Dis' lips twisted. "That is a given right darling and you are worth it….there is doubt about that."

"Not according to my wife. I am already condemned because I made the mistake to offer Lady Íth a little more attention than I should have, even though my touch was never meant as nothing more than friendly." He said quietly. All the fire in his heart seemed to have fled.

"I understand you, but you have to ask for her forgiveness…" Dis' manner was much more restrained when she saw how feeble her brother looked.

Thorin nodded softly. "I will…as many times as she requires me."

Dis patted his arm. "There you go wolf."

"Unless she starts hurling accusations at me." He added with an arched brow.

Dis sighed and pursed her lips. "Don't mess this up. Please don't fight with her over this."

"I will not choose to fight, but I will defend myself if I get falsely accused and yes I will beg her forgiveness even though I don't feel I did anything wrong at the end of the day." He muttered.

Dis caressed his forearms. "Thank you."

"Can we drop it now? I am really at the end of my tether…" He said earnestly.

Dis caressed his shoulder. "Fine. Now that you have settled down a little will you allow me to see your head?"

"No." The taciturn answer.

"Will you at least tell me what happened?" Dis frowned nervously.

"I got wounded during training." He dismissed her.

"When did you find the time to train between saving Brunar and coming down to see him?" Her gaze was searching.

He exhaled hard. "Can you leave me alone please?"

"Why is your head bleeding brother?" Dis tried to check on him yet again.

"Stop…just stop…" -He closed his eyes and raised his hands- "I need to go in." He rejoined and made to open the door.

Dis' hand fell on his firmly. "Where did you get that awful gash?!" She snapped.

His nose flared. "Training…and that's the only answer you are going to get."

Dis' hand remained firmly locked on his and her penetrating stare didn't relent for several moments. Then something gave in inside and her face softened. "Are you having nightmares again?"

The question came so suddenly it caught him unprepared. His scowl was not accompanied by any words.

Dis leaned closer to him. "Eilin told me you woke up from a very bad nightmare the other night. She dreads for your wellbeing."

"Dis she tell you to speak to me?" He looked down coldly.

"Yes…"

He exhaled and his eyelids fluttered.

"What did you expect since you are not talking to her at all?" Dis whispered.

"I am fine." His tone was reproachful.

"I didn't ask you if you are fine. Judging by your bloody head and the paleness of your skin or your unrefined actions towards your court…no you are not fine even though you declare the opposite. I am asking if you are having nightmares again." Dis' voice was grave.

He swallowed heavily and had to avert his eyes in order to manage any kind of answer to that. "No gerbil."

Dis' features remained irresolute. "You haven't seen one of those mind-bending dreams ever since you met Eilin. That is a little more than a decade."

"I am not having any nightmares." He forced himself to give her a firm gaze.

"If you were having any kind of trouble would you have told me?" Dis frowned.

"Of course." His smile was dry, but he made sure to pat her hand reassuringly.

Dis exhaled quietly. "I am worried about you."

"You always are." His mouth formed a lopsided smile.

"Your wife is even more worried than I am. Despite your problems never doubt that she absolutely adores the ground that you are walking upon." Her brow arched.

He shook his head. "Me too, but neither of you should be concerned. I am well, now give me the opportunity to see Lady Ith's family and talk to my wife."

Dis' smile was hard-pressed. "Okay my love."

He opened the door, but her hand fell on his arm again stopping him at the last moment. "Are you sure you feel alright?"

He pulled her in for a kiss on the cheek. "Yes, now let me go."

Dis smiled uncomfortably and pushed him in. "Alright…" She whispered, but when the door closed behind him her demeanor plunged.

No…her brother was not alright and she doubted this had to do only with his marital troubles. There was a dark curtain looming behind the usual clarity that dominated his beautiful eyes. A gloom she hadn't witnessed for many years and that troubled her more than words could say.

-.-

The first thing he saw after entering Lady Ith's apartments were the challenging eyes of his wife. She was on the floor next to Thrárin and Lady Íth who was cradling Brunar.

Durin who was standing above his mother smiled the moment he saw Thorin. "Hi dad."

The King reciprocated the affectionate smile. "Hello my love." Then he turned to Ith. "Good evening my Lady."

"Good evening, your majesty." Lady Íth greeted him respectfully.

"How is the boy?" He frowned.

Lady Íth caressed his cheeks tenderly. "He is alive my Lord. That is what matters…"

Brunar sneezed.

Lady Íth chuckled. "And a bit cold apparently."

Thorin's mouth sustained the faded smile with great difficulty. "I am happy he is well."

"He is here thanks to your quick reactions Sir." Lady Íth placed her son down and stood up.

Thorin didn't know if she intended to make another attempt to hug him in front of his wife, but he decided to give Eilin the best apology he could conjure at that moment. Ignoring Lady Íth whose attention was solely on him, he walked up and loomed over Eilin. She tilted her head up to see him and her eyes held shadows that he yearned to cast away as quickly as possible. He came down to one knee, wrapped his fingers behind her nape and drew her in for a gentle peck that caused her breath to hitch slightly. Encouraged by this unexpected reaction to a most spontaneous kiss, he delighted to feel her velvety lips lingering under his for a few moments before gifting her with another peck which she reciprocated despite her obvious reluctance. "My treasure..." He said with a clear voice.

Lady Íth looked away and was unable to hide the dejection in her eyes.

Eilin drew his hand up to her silky lips. "My King." She said quietly and kissed it with a veneration that was not lost in Thorin.

"Are you alright?" He whispered.

Eilin's eyes unlocked from his and she turned her attention quickly to Thrárin. "Yes."

Thorin felt the wave of dissapointment escaping her and his heart froze, but he wasn't going to allow that to show in his face. He was giving her all the allowances that she needed in order to feel better, despite the feeling of bitterness that was abounding in his heart.

 _Life is not fair…deal with it…_ He commanded himself.

"Dad can you not…?" Durin rolled his eyes.

Thorin's brow arched. "Settle down my brave warrior…what is wrong with showing my wife how much I love her?"

Durin looked at him surprised that his choice of words were so similar to the Petty Dwarf's. He opened his mouth to answer something clever, but came up short once again. Between his father and that Dwarf he was having a hard time finding a footing in order to prove his wit and he itched to go find his sister and take out all his frustration on her.

Thorin looked down and found Eilin's breathtaking eyes penetrating all his defenses. They both knew that his lack of propriety in front of Lady Íth was exaggerated on purpose, despite the fact that he earnestly craved to feel Eilin's touch, especially after what happened at his office. The Queen's lips broke in a subtle smile which didn't last long. She looked back down at Thrárin.

Thorin feeling mildly satisfied with what he had done, turned his attention to Brunar. He reached out and caressed his hair. "Are you okay son?" The tone of his voice softened.

Brunar looked at him and nodded. "Yes Sir."

"What happened at the river?" Thorin frowned.

"I tried to swim after Thrárin and my leg got caught at the nets." Brunar said.

"It wasn't his fault daddy!" Thrárin chimed in.

"I am not out to chastise anyone, I am just asking. This wasn't anyone's fault. It was just bad luck. Okay my love?" Thorin's large hand cradled Thrárin's cheek gently.

The young Prince stood up and wrapped his arms around the King's neck. Then he leaned his head on his chest. "I am sorry I made him swim so far away daddy."

Thorin pulled him in tightly. "Hey, it wasn't your fault. What is going on in your mind?" He frowned concerned.

Eilin glowered at Lady Ith. "Maybe you should explain to both our children that what happened isn't Thrárin's fault because as you can see he is being tormented by guilt and I hardly find this fair on him."

Thorin's frown deepened, but he allowed Eilin all command of this situation.

Lady Íth jerked into action quickly, feeling her cheeks catching fire at the Queen's harsh tone. She kneeled next to the children and smiled at Thrárin. "Young prince it is exactly as your mother and father say. What happened was bad luck. It would have happened even if you hadn't been there. Brunar cannot swim well, although after this accident I think it is time we try to make him a better swimmer, correct?" She caressed her son's hair and her eyes held their attention on the young prince for several moments, before turning reluctantly towards the King.

Thorin didn't reciprocate the look or the shy but sweet smile that was meant for him. Instead he gazed confidently at his wife, not wavering for an instant.

After a few tense moments were Eilin scrutinized both her husband and Lady Ith, her shoulders relaxed and she humphed. "I suppose we must all be thankful we didn't lose anyone today." She forced herself to look at Lady Íth even though her stomach revolted even at the idea of crossing eyes with her.

Lady Íth looked away and bowed her head. "Those are wise words, my Queen."

Eilin's brow arched. "Wise or not, I am certainly grateful to hold my son in my arms and I am sure you are too."

Lady Íth didn't lift her head. "Thanks to your courageous husband I am not crying over the death of my son today. I shall forever be grateful for what your family has done for me today."

Eilin's brow elevated an inch higher. "I hope you will remember your gratitude towards my family in the future when circumstances might put you in ambiguous crossways."

Lady Íth looked at the Queen confused. "Whatever junctions I find myself in, I shall never forget what the King and you have done for me, my Lady."

Eilin's voice dropped. "I will urge you to use that gratitude as a moral compass if any ill-advised decisions happen to cross your mind in the future."

Lady Íth paled and looked down modestly. "My Lady…" She murmured.

"Remember the gravity of the words you uttered today for they are immense in my eyes and I will hold you liable to them if or when the time comes." Eilin's warning was clear, but it was not only directed to the Lady only. It was also pointed towards her husband. He played his part when he came in and showed her such love and respect in order to make amends. Now it was her turn to put up her own act and show graceful command over the situation.

Lady Íth bowed her head respectfully and touched her heart. "I will my Lady."

Eilin inclined her head haughtily allowing Thorin to admire her lofty conduct. Without doubt all the adults in the room had picked up on the discreet warnings behind the Queen's somber words. Still his heart skirted in delight when he saw his Eilin adeptly handling a very difficult situation with immeasurable sophistication.

Eilin turned to Thrárin and kissed the back of his head, making sure to cup Thorin's hand and caress it in the process. "Do you wish to stay longer with Brunar and his mother my love or should we allow Lady Íth and him some well-deserved rest?"

Thorin felt his heart slightly pinching at those words. Did she just offer him the opportunity to stay alone with Lady Ith? Did she believe he'd take it? The sudden realization that all of Eilin's touches were probably meant only for the eyes of Íth came to undo him. All her tender touches were a mere act weren't they? Once they were alone all this cordiality would disperse and they would remain stark naked with all their flaws in full view.

Thrárin disentangled from the arms of his father and went to sit by Brunar before his father ever got the opportunity to answer. "No I want to stay!"

Lady Íth offered them a humble smile. "I will keep an eye on the boys my Lady don't worry."

Eilin turned to her husband and raised her brow. "Do you wish to remain with them alone?" She drove the knife deeper…and Thorin's heart bled.

His shoulders slouched in defeat. "No. Maybe you can stay in my stead."

Eilin inclined her head. "Very well, I shall remain then."

The curtain of pleasantness in his eyes drew back and allowed Eilin to see the bottomless depths of despair that were hiding there. This was the only moment that Eilin's cold resolution seemed to weaken if only for a moment. He leaned down and offered a tender kiss on Thrárin's cheek, ignored Lady Íth completely, tried to avoid his wife's eyes and turned to Durin. "Can I have a word with you son?"

Eilin looked up at him and her brows furrowed. Forgetting the game she had played in order to put Lady Íth back in her place she noted for the first time as Thorin led Durin away that his body seemed bend and his shoulders hunched. She opened her mouth to say something, but her egotism kicked in sturdily and she remained silent instead. She turned her attention to Thrárin again and forced herself not to look at him or worry about him too much. She wouldn't allow the soft part of her heart that always throbbed for him to relent before having a serious talk about what happened with Lady Íth first. With that thought Eilin's indecision settled and she flexed her jawline determined once more to remain coldly derisive….until she had the answers that would satisfy her. So she subconsciously overlooked the obviously distressed state of her husband as she was becoming too blinded by her own hurt emotions.

Lady Íth didn't notice anything either as she was too embarrassed to raise her eyes to the King in front of the Queen.

Thorin drew Durin close to the fireplace and came down to one knee. "I need to talk to you."

"Are you alright dad? You don't look so well." Durin frowned. Apparently he was the most perceptive one in the room or maybe the one less blinded by his emotions.

Thorin closed his eyes. "I am alright. Now listen son, I am going to ask you a few questions and I want you to be truthful, okay?"

Durin nodded and tried to look at the back of his dad's head where he noticed traces of blood in his hair. "Sure dad…is that blood?" he pointed at it.

Thorin waved him off. "Yes, I fell on the door. Now listen…"

Durin pressed his lips. "Face first?"

Thorin glared at him. "No head first….satisfied?"

"How did it happen?" Durin raised his brow.

Thorin exhaled bothered. "I slipped on the sheep skin and bashed on the door handle…"

"Does it hurt?" Durin frowned.

"No…"

"You want me to clean it for you?" Durin sounded so earnestly eager to help that Thorin's heart felt timidly happy.

He clasped his son's hand and squeezed it. "I love you too, now take a break." -Durin opened his mouth to reply, but Thorin lifted a strict finger at his face- "Now listen to me. Have you been messing around in Mirkwood lately?"

Durin blanched and instantly began fidgeting, something that Thorin noticed. "Yeah…." He slurred.

"With whom?" The King pressed his hand and his tone was imperative.

"With my siblings and Lis whom I cannot shake from our tail…" –Durin's voice turned winy then- "Does she always have to follow me around everywhere? I hate it."

"Why? She's such a lovely young lady and above all loyal to a fault. You couldn't have asked for a better bodyguard." Thorin frowned.

"I don't want one. I can take care of myself." Durin flared his chest proudly.

Thorin cupped his cheek. "You are the heir to my throne and also the heir to the throne of Khazad-Dum. Many wish to see you dead. You need a bodyguard….actually you need more than one but we shall discuss this later."

Durin pressed his lips.

"Okay?"

Durin gave his dad a half-felt nod. "I guess."

"Now tell me was there anyone else with you when you went to Mirkwood?" Thorin continued.

"No…what do you mean?" Durin's voice elevated anxiously at the thought that his dad had figured out they have met with that Petty Dwarf more than once.

"No one? Not even a young elfling of great beauty?" Thorin's brow arched and a playful smile formed on his lips.

Durin closed his eyes and exhaled a whole bout of nervousness. "Damn….I mean yeah okay. We saw that elven irritation a couple of times…"

Thorin's brows met. "Elven irritation? I thought her name was Celebriel."

Durin shrugged. "That's her name and that's her trait."

Thorin snorted. "You don't seem to like her."

"I don't know yet. Did her dad come find you and caused trouble? I don't think he likes me." Durin was honest.

"I don't care whom he likes. If you wish to befriend this girl then do so. I am not going to stop you." Thorin smiled.

Durin's face softened. "Thanks dad."

Thorin pressed his hand. "Have you approached Dol Guldur with her or with your siblings?"

Durin shook his head and his eyes filled with dread. "No dad I don't like going near that place. The whispers become stronger when I do."

"Have you heard them again?" Thorin's eyes flashed thunder.

Durin swallowed nervously and shook his head. "No, not really."

"No or not really?" Thorin leaned closer.

Durin couldn't admit to hearing the whispers without revealing how close to Dol Guldur they had been. And he couldn't admit that without telling his dad about the Petty Dwarf, so he did the next best thing. "No dad, I haven't." He lied.

Thorin's eyelids fluttered closed. He exhaled audibly. "Remember what we said about that place?"

"Never go there." Durin rejoined.

Thorin's eyes were intense. "Never."

Durin nodded. "I promise."

Thorin pulled him in for a fierce hug that made Durin frown, but he reciprocated. He planted a kiss on the King's cheek. "You sure you are alright dad?"

Thorin pulled back and smiled. "As long as you stay away from Dol Guldur I am fine. Play with your siblings, make new friends but use our forest please. If you venture in Mirkwood stay close to our borders."

Durin smiled. "Sure, don't worry."

Thorin observed him meticulously for several moments. "I have to go. Are you going to stay with mom and Thrárin or do you want to come with me?"

"Where are you going?" Durin grinned.

"To see Lord Gimli and Lord Bjarki." Thorin rejoined.

"Why?" Durin frowned.

"So they can take over all the stonemasons that we will be able to gather from Erebor and Dale." Thorin's gaze turned pensive.

A twinkle of pleasure toyed in Durin's eyes. "What will all those stonemasons do?"

Thorin raised his brow. "They will be commanded to dismantle a fortress."

"Which one dad?" Durin asked mesmerized.

Thorin's lips formed a lopsided smile and he winked at Durin. "You'll see."

"Can I go with them?" Durin asked enthusiastically.

"When the times comes we shall overlook the endeavor. As of now we have to find worthy leaders whom we trust to see this attempt to completion." Thorin raised his brow.

Durin grinned. "I like Lord Gimli, he always takes us to the treasury…"

"When I have forbidden it and therefore constantly overlooks my orders. I know. I like him too." Thorin smirked.

"Can I tell him first about the fort? I think he is going to love it. He likes bringing things to the ground." Durin tugged his dad's hand.

Thorin supplied him with a loving regard. "I bet he does. Of course you can tell him." –He then looked up- "Lady Íth I wish Brunar a quick recovery. May he never come across such bad luck again."

Lady Íth stood up and curtsied, but kept her eyes away from his. "My King, I am grateful for everything."

Thorin inclined his head and turned to meet his wife's tough stare that felt way too domineering. "I am taking Durin with me, my love. Do you need us for anything else?"

"No, we shall discuss later on."

He heard the warning in her tone and his heart dropped. As he closed the door and Durin bombarded him with questions about the jeweler the only thing Thorin could think of was the showdown that was bound to happen later on. All he needed after what happened today was her loving embrace and some well-deserved faith in him. Above all though he yearned for compassion for his various aches and pains that were the result of a sudden fainting spell that had left him totally bewildered, especially since it was preceded by those horrendous whispers and followed by another alarming nightmare. He didn't want the third degree from Eilin. He didn't want a flurry of accusations thrown at his face. He didn't want to feel her suspicions tearing him apart…

He wanted a safe haven in her arms, because today after putting up a brave front for everybody…he could finally acknowledge to himself….

No, he was not well at all….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Here in void, only death...


	14. A piece of broken paradise

 

* * *

Thorin preceded glumly Elrond, his son Elrohir and two soldiers of his escort. Dwalin was following Thorin closely and next to the great Elven Lord was Balin who couldn't stop chattering about the immense wealth of Erebor's treasury as they strolled between the priceless golden hills and the colossal pillars which supported the vast domes. Even though the Elven Lord seemed to be greatly impressed, Thorin knew that all this was a façade that held behind it a wish to disclose the real reasons for his visit at the Lonely Mountain.

On his part Thorin hadn't slept well the previous evening so he was not in a hurry to address Elrond's motives for venturing this far east. As long as Balin was willing to take over the conversation, Thorin was pleased enough to find refuge in his silence. The need to gather himself from what had taken place yesterday between Lady Íth, him and his wife was immeasurable.

Apparently even though he tried to make amends in Lady Íth's rooms, Eilin was still annoyed with him. She had already been asleep when he returned to their chambers that evening, even though she rarely slept that early. Thorin assumed that she did it on purpose in order to avoid any conversations with him about what happened. He didn't try to wake her up as he was too tired, too pained and too preoccupied to get in another brawl with her.

He took the opportunity to stay with his kids and play dungeons and dragons until Rhianaye dozed off in Dis' arms and Thrárin on the floor. The only one still in the mood to continue was Durin, but Thorin led them all to bed and kissed them goodnight. Then after denying Dis the chance to check the wound on his head, the traces of blood on his nose and the paleness on his face, he returned to bed and thankfully slept unbothered until the golden bell chimed the first call of the morning. Without wanting to alert Eilin he got dressed and decided to make himself useful in Erebor instead of looming in the darkness waiting for those whispers to return and shatter his reality anew.

Leaving before having a chance to talk to her was just another version of running away, which didn't solve anything between them. Sooner or later Eilin would seek a discussion and he was not in a hurry to do that. When Balin entered the Throne Room close to midday and announced that Lord Elrond and his escort were asking for an audience, Thorin felt more than happy to accommodate. Whatever could postpone his impending argument with Eilin was a gift from the heavens.

That is where this noon found them. With Balin describing Erebor's massive treasure and Thorin drifting pensively with his hands crossed behind his back.

Balin stopped and looked around him proudly. "That is about it my Lord Elrond. However far we venture in these caverns you are not going to see anything different. It's just hills upon hills of gold and precious gems as far as the eye can see."

Elrond smiled. "Indeed it is the greatest treasure trove of Middle Earth. The legends didn't lie…"

Balin smiled pleased and looked at the King for confirmation, but Thorin kept his eyes attentively on the golden floor.

Elrond apparently desired to capture the King's rootless attention also. "Wouldn't you say so too?"

Thorin looked up dazed. "What?"

Elrond pointed elegantly around him. "We are talking about your treasure vaults. They are truly impressive. The greatest treasure of Middle Earth, correct?"

Thorin sighed and gave him a quiet nod. "I think it holds this formidable title, yes."

"I can certainly see why Sauron wished to keep his grip on this stronghold." Elrond's face fell on those words.

Thorin raised his eyes thoughtfully towards the gold.

"As strong was his need to get rid of the bloodline that was destined to reclaim the Lovely Mountain." Elrond continued.

"Upon which he failed miserably. This line is too formidable to be taken out by the likes of him!" Balin intervened smugly.

Elrond's eyes turned pensively on the advisor for a few moments, before returning to the King. "I haven't heard you uttering a single word of praise towards your invaluable hoard and that takes me by surprise."

Thorin pursed his lips. "What can I say about it except that it isn't mine. It belongs to the men and women who sacrificed their lives in order to dig it from the Mountain's bowels. It is here to sustain this city and all its citizens. To offer them a prosperous life. It belongs to them, not me. I am merely its temporary keeper that is all."

Elrond looked at him appreciatively. "Such modest words…"

Thorin inclined his head.

"…which shouldn't be uttered by the man who created the Northern Alliance and saw it reach the most provident conclusion. Neither should such words be spoken by him who holds the fate of the North in the palm of his hand." Elrond continued with a calm smile.

"I may have sounded modest before, but the titles you are giving me now sound ostentatious. Can't we have a middle ground somewhere?" Thorin retorted.

Elrond raised his brows. "Ostentatious? How so?"

"This alliance is preserved by Dwarves, Elves and Men equally. No race is above the others and that is what sustains a very thin balance between dangerously diverse temperaments. If anyone tries to rise above the rest then egos will suffer and this precious alliance and everything noble it represents will crumble to dust. Something that will certainly please the dark forces that are multiplying behind the Ash Mountains, correct? Consequently I am not willing to tip the scales by becoming too ostentatious with a title the rest have bestowed on me on good will alone." Thorin rejoined.

Elrond smiled pleased. "Good will alone? I doubt it. They granted you control, because of your formidable skills in war but also in politics and diplomacy. Not to mention your renowned astuteness, which Thranduil cannot stop praising. You lured the most difficult Elven Lord on your side and that is a deed not to be scoffed at."

Thorin's lips formed a ghostly smile. "Thranduil and I have an understanding."

Elrond tilted his head. "And a rare camaraderie of which I feel pleasantly surprised."

"Our King's humility is above arguments, nevertheless his accomplishments are more renowned than any other King who preceded him, excluding of course the great Durin. We are extremely honored to follow him wherever he wishes to lead us despite the fact that he will rarely admit to his merits. The Seven know very well whom they have pledged their swords to…as well as the rest of the Dwarven Kingdoms that bow to his command all over Middle Earth." Balin looked at his King proudly.

"King Thorin has proven his valor, his resilience, his skill in battle, his excellence in diplomacy and finally his astuteness in politics beyond doubt to the whole of Middle Earth." -Elrond bowed his head respectfully- "Nevertheless during our first meeting none of these virtues were visible, except from his indubitable gallantry."

Thorin sneered. "I was expecting some kind of grounding after all these compliments that kept going back and forth. It was beginning to become boring…"

Elrond chuckled. "Well…"

Thorin's smile was peaceful and his countenance composed. "Still I must thank you for those eulogies…."

Elrond inclined his head.

"However I doubt you travelled over the Misty Mountains in order to admire this hoard –no matter how impressive it might be- or to shower me with praises." Thorin added shrewdly.

Elrond crossed his arms. "Ah, well I was expecting you to reach that conclusion sooner or later. Indeed I have come here to discuss serious matters, but before we delve into them I wish to thank you for taking such good care of my daughter. She spoke with the highest admiration for you and your family."

"I hold Lady Arwen to the highest esteem. I am very glad that she enjoyed her stay here." Thorin smiled.

Elrond reciprocated. "Thank you."

"Now let us get to what is most important, despite my need to postpone any serious talk and retreat to my study." Thorin continued.

Elrond smiled.

"Why did your arrival in the wooden realm coincide so eerily with the suspicious activities behind the Ash Mountains that my spies have informed me of?" Thorin continued cleverly.

Elrond's brow flicked and he smiled.

"Tell me what is wrong. What was so important to make Rivendell venture so far away from base?" Thorin lowered his head and his eyes pierced the Elven Lord.

Elrond crossed his arms and drew in a deep breath. "You do know the white council has been suspecting the Necromancer we faced in Dol Guldur is Sauron, correct?"

Thorin nodded. "Of course and it was proven further by the rather unfortunate meeting I had with Khamûl and his minions."

Elrond gave him a quiet nod. "When Lady Galadriel banished the Necromancer to the east we kept a vigilant eye over Mordor. We have been expecting a revelation from him for several years now, nevertheless he remained unnervingly silent..."

Thorin's eyes became demanding. "Until now."

Elrond kept his gaze. "Until now…yes."

Thorin felt his heart dropping and his stomach clenching with a sudden wave of anxiety. The Black Speech he heard in Dol Guldur suddenly stopped being a vague fear that had no real meaning and became much more concrete. "He is getting ready to reveal himself openly…" He deducted quietly.

Elrond hesitated only momentarily. "We are expecting him to do so very soon that is why I travelled here to see you, but also to visit the Hill of Dark Sorcery."

Thorin nodded musingly. "I understand your concerns about Dol Guldur, but why did you wish to talk to me about this? Are you perchance in fear the Northern alliance will not hold up against Mordor?"

Elrond shook his head. "Not in the least, but I do fear for your wellbeing, which is directly connected to the stability of the Northern alliance."

Balin frowned and gave Dwalin a guarded look his brother reciprocated.

"My wellbeing?" Thorin glowered.

"The Abhorred is not strong enough yet to strike against his enemies directly. He doesn't have the One Ring. He needs to raise an army first in order to protect his corporeal form which is not finalized. Still that won't stop him from declaring himself openly in Mordor and what better way to make such an impressive comeback than by striking down the strongest alliance of Middle Earth?" Elrond tilted his head waiting for Thorin to pick up.

Thorin remained silent.

Elrond seeing no response from him continued. "His principal targets right now are Gondor and Erebor. Gondor because through its strategic position he can gain full control of the south and that would multiply his ability to launch war to the west…"

'…And Erebor because it is the passage between his armies in Ered Lithui and his Orcish herds in Khazad-dûm. Of course." Thorin rejoined.

Elrond raised his hand elegantly. "Exactly and who is the prime target in Erebor?"

"Me." Thorin felt his stomach nauseated and his hands frozen.

Elrond averted his eyes. "We fear he will pursue you in some manner. He needs to get rid of you and possibly Durin. He cannot allow your bloodline to continue to rule the north. You not only salvaged the biggest treasure of Middle Earth, you also created an alliance that cannot be easily overcome by his armies. Also your heir will sooner or later rage war in Moria and there is a big chance he will be successful in taking back the Dwarrowdelf. You are destroying every single leverage of power he has created through the centuries in this part of Middle Earth. You are a great menace to him. He failed to kill you in the past, but I don't believe he ever stopped planning your destruction. Gondor for now is too weak and rather easily controlled by him as you have already figured out yourself. You talked with the Rohirrim, you know how corrupted the leadership of Gondor is. Sauron doesn't know that Isildur's heir is alive, much less that he is becoming part of the Northern Alliance at this very moment and I wish to keep it that way. It is a great advantage for us. I don't want Sauron's eyes upon him."

Thorin nodded. "Understood."

"Without the presence of another equally threatening enemy, Sauron's eye will remain upon you and your son. You do understand the danger, correct?" Elrond frowned.

Balin threw another worried look at Dwalin who crossed his arms with a frown.

Thorin glared at him. "Why does Dol Guldur worry you so much?"

"It is the closest he can approach to your kingdom and to you personally. He is unable to unleash his troops against yours yet. He is still too weak to lash out so far away from base and he doesn't have enough soldiers to protect Mordor and to rage war on you at the same time. Your rule is too powerful for him to counter at this point, but he can try to approach you through Dol Guldur and manage a strike that way. He is a shape shifter, a mind bender… he can cast dark magic and twist reality. He can make you ill without even touching you. He can even kill you without laying a finger upon you, if you are not careful enough. Still though none of this can happen as long as you don't approach one of his forts. The places he has saturated with his darkness are were his ever-changing form can find shelter." Elrond said solemnly.

Thorin crossed his arms and glowered at his boots. Were the whispers he heard in that accursed stronghold Sauron's attempt to lure him and Durin closer? To confuse him, trap him in unspeakable nightmares, disorganize him, and make him too weak to rule the Alliance properly? Elrond said he was too frail to rage war and his corporeal form was not completed yet in order to allow him to attack the King of the North in the flesh. Maybe he was trying to infiltrate his mind and tear him apart from the inside out then….

_Maybe….I am not going crazy…._

"Did you hear me?" Elrond said.

Thorin shook his head absently. "What?"

Dwalin frowned at Thorin suspiciously and checked to see if Balin had noticed also.

"I asked if you have detected anything out of place around the Bald Hill recently." Elrond repeated.

Thorin paled and it must have shown because Balin's scowl became more defined. "No…." He said quickly and suddenly wished for the conversation to end right there. Without being certain if those whispers weren't the product of his imagination he was not ready to admit anything that would make a fool out of him at this haughty Elven Lord.

Elrond's brow creased suspiciously. "You don't look so certain."

Thorin forced himself to smile. "Of course I am not certain. No one can be certain about that place. No one can penetrate the dark veil. Not even Lady Galadriel. What would you have me say? Everything around this place is suspicious in my eyes. I wish I could uproot it at this very moment. I cannot approach it enough to know if there is something going on behind the shroud. You advise me to keep away, but believe me I was not prepared to get close to it even prior to this warning."

Elrond gave him a reflective look. "That place almost killed you, but you managed a rather big dent in its defenses the last time you ventured in. Another reason to make Sauron's wish for your death even stronger. I must be certain that you haven't noticed anything out of the ordinary, especially concerning you or your son."

Thorin shook his head quickly. "No I haven't."

Elrond exhaled and looked at his hands. "Then we have reached a dead end. You were our best chance to get a lead on him. If he is not actively targeting you, we have no idea who will be his next victim."

Thorin felt his stomach clenching at the lies he was uttering to the Elven Lord…still were they truly lies? Who could say for certain that those whispers were indeed Sauron's attempt to dismantle Thorin's sanity? Who could reassure him they weren't a figment of his overactive imagination, of the exhaustion he felt from raising three kids and ruling the north, or of the frustrations he felt for his marital problems? Had he truly seen something out of the ordinary in Dol Guldur when he was there? If he excluded those whispers, no…he hadn't noticed anything.

Had Durin seen something perchance? No. They were merely bothered by traces of murmurs that possibly meant nothing. After today he would be highly watchful over Durin's activities, but he was not ready to reveal his inner most thoughts or crazy experiences to Elrond. Especially in front of Elrohir who Thorin inherently disliked after their conversation about their children. He wasn't going to reveal his foreboding dreams or whispers until he was certain of what they truly meant. "I am sorry I couldn't be of more help, but I will keep a very close eye on Dol Guldur. Worry not."

Elrond frowned. "That would be appreciated by the white council, but we would also like Erebor to keep an eye on its King and Prince. They must keep you away from that fort."

Thorin scoffed. "You think I would willingly endanger my son in any way?"

"That thought never crossed my mind, I assure you. We just need to know that you and Lord Durin are safe especially since Sauron's return is imminent and your safety is in danger." Elrond rejoined sternly.

"Erebor shall never allow its King and Prince to come to any harm. That should have never been doubted by the White Council!" Dwalin retorted strictly.

Thorin gave him an absent look and then turned his attention to Elrond once more. "My safety is under the most watchful eyes of Middle Earth, that of my people. Worry not my Lord, nothing will happen."

Elrond didn't seem so convinced. "Very well…still I have informed King Thranduil and the Brown Wizard and they will also be vigilant concerning the fort, but also towards your safety."

"If I notice anything out of the ordinary I will inform both him and you." Thorin said quietly.

Elrond inhaled deeply and eyed at him pensively for what felt forever. "Thank you."

Thorin forced himself to smile. "Never doubt this alliance will be able to counter successfully any attempts of Mordor to break the north."

"I am not worried about the capacity of the Alliance to keep Mordor at bay. I am worried Sauron will try to cut the head of that union in order to disperse it. He will not attempt an attack while the King of the North or his mighty son still stand. Your death will weaken the north…it will make an easy target out of it and the rest of Middle Earth will follow. Do you understand?" Elrond wised.

Thorin sighed. "I will be careful. Worry not."

Elrond observed him penetratingly for a few moments. "Don't hesitate to relate to me anything out of the ordinary please. No matter how strange it might feel to you. We have thousands of years of experience with dark magic that you don't. He is a powerful wizard who can penetrate the minds of people in unexpected forms. Be careful and if you feel you cannot discuss things with me do it with Thranduil. I know you trust him."

Thorin closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. "I don't know how many times I have to reassure you that I will inform both of you if I notice anything. You are free to stay in the stronghold for as long as you like. You and your son…" –Thorin threw Elrohir a looming glare- "As well his beautiful daughter Celebriel."

"Whose presence you didn't acknowledge till this morning that we arrived here with her in tow." Elrohir spat haughtily and crossed his arms without paying attention to the warning gaze Elrond gave him.

"I never doubted that you have a daughter, merely that she is sneaking around Mirkwood in the company of my son!" Thorin spat at him with such unexpected resentment that Elrohir pulled back.

Elrond grasped his arm. "Forgive my son. After the death of his wife he is rather short on temper."

"As I am currently. Therefore allow me to withdraw before my mood destroys your ability to enjoy our city. Balin will be your permanent escort for as long as you remain here. My office door will always be open for you as will be my library for a drink tonight."

Elrond tilted his head appreciatively. "Thank you."

"Give my regards to Lady Arwen." Thorin inclined his head.

Elrond smiled. "I will."

"And I will tell my son to give my regards to Lady Celebriel…." He glared at Elrohir pointedly.

Elrohir paled and got ready to rebuke but Elrond's fingernails stopped him. "I thank you on her behalf too." The great Elven Lord added graciously.

Thorin inclined his head and when Elrond reciprocated he walked quickly out of the treasure vaults. Soon after Elrond and Elrohir followed with their escort. Balin aligned with Dwalin behind them.

"Did you get the impression our beloved King didn't tell the whole truth to Lord Elrond?" Balin leaned close to Dwalin and spoke in a hushed tone.

"Yeah." Dwalin pursed his lips.

"Are you going to talk to him about all this or am I?" Balin rejoined.

"Both of us will!" Dwalin frowned and walked after the Elven Lords with a deep scowl on his forbidding countenance.

-.-

When Thorin opened the door to his offices he was already highly overtaxed from his discussion with Lord Elrond and from the fact that he hid part of the truth. Above all though he was vexed at his inability to understand if what was happening was his imagination or a sign that Sauron was closer to him and his family than he had been expecting.

He entered the elaborate rooms, silently brooding and ready to boil in oil, so when his eyes saw his wife leaning in front of his desk his heart was instantly elated and all the affliction he felt recoiled. His mouth formed a smile, his shoulders relaxed and he walked quickly to her. Without any words he took off his crown and discarded it on the desk. Then he embraced her warmly and propped his chin on her head, needing to draw in all the warmth she had to offer in order to calm down his bruised nerves.

The last thing he had been expecting was for her to keep her arms crossed and not reciprocate his touch. His brows came together troubled and his stomach tightened. He gave a soft kiss on her forehead. "Hey beautiful." -Her silence and immobility gave him such a cold shoulder that he drew back slowly. His arms fell defeated at his sides- "Eilin?" He whispered and tried to find her eyes.

She was looking at the golden embellished collar of his tunic.

His hand reached out to touch her forearm hesitantly. "Are you alright my love?" He spoke softly.

Her eyes found his, but didn't give him the doting gaze he was so used at. They were hard…almost accusing. "That can be debated."

"What is the matter?" Thorin frowned.

She inhaled deeply and her brows came together in suppressed fury. "Tell me exactly what happened down at the river shore yesterday…in your own words." That sounded like a low key warning.

Thorin tried hard to draw himself away from the mood Elrond's words had put him in and concentrate on this new, but very much expected challenge. "Eilin I thought we cleared up part of that misunderstanding yesterday in Lady Ith's rooms."

Eilin humphed. "Oh, when you showed your adoration for me in front of her you mean?"

Thorin covered his eyes. "That was my attempt to an apology."

"Well your show didn't work." Eilin raised her brow.

"Well forgive me for trying…and my touch was meant from the heart. I didn't put up any show. If anyone did that, then that was you." He glared at her.

"What I said was in order to get my point across to both her and you! You think I was not entitled after what happened?" She raised her hand threateningly.

"By all means. You are entitled to strike me even when I am already down on my knees and asking forgiveness for something I didn't feel was so wrong anyway!" He frowned.

She reached out and poked his chest. "Don't try to make me feel remorse! Not so wrong?! If you think that what you did was okay then why didn't you wake me up so we could discuss all this before you left this morning? Because you were afraid of my reactions, isn't that right? "

Thorin grabbed her finger tightly. "Can you please calm down?"

She drew her hand away. "No I won't." She floored him.

He inhaled sharply and pressed his lips annoyed. "Why did you fall asleep before I came in at night Eilin? Because you wanted to avoid this yourself. Don't act above it all. You are pissing me off."

"What in the world possessed you to hug this woman in front of me?!" Eilin snapped suddenly.

Thorin blinked. "I didn't even know you were there and this woman was in distress because she almost lost her only child!"

Eilin gritted her teeth. "You are still acting as if nothing happened."

"Because nothing did!" Thorin retorted hard.

Eilin lifted her chin up proudly. "I beg to differ. Embracing this woman and giving her a kiss was not something that you had to do. You saved her son. Good for you. The end! You were not required to soothe her down. She could have sought all that from your sister, from me or from someone else from the court. Instead she chose to grab you like a bloody barnacle!"

"Was that my fault?!" Thorin spat feeling his nerves twitching by the distrust Eilin was showing him at that moment.

Eilin smirked. "No, yet you didn't push her back and the fact that she chose to hug you in this manner says a lot about how she feels about you!"

"I saved her son!" Thorin flayed his arms in the air.

"You are her King! She should have acted more prudently!" Eilin rebuked with the same fervor.

Thorin drew back and gave her a dejected look. "This is not the best time for me to witness one of your jealousy streaks Eilin…honest."

She inhaled sharply. "You think that my jealousy is the problem here? Not the fact that you embraced her in front of our court and made a fool out of me?"

"How did I do that? By giving comfort to a woman who was under a panic attack? She is not the first distressed citizen that I am taking care off in an emergency Eilin!" Thorin reproached.

"You could have done that without giving her such intimate attention, plus a kiss!" Eilin hurled at him.

He felt his stomach dropping. "I kissed her on the brow!"

Eilin's eyes thinned and she huffed. "Kissed her nonetheless. You shouldn't have done that. Especially to her!"

Thorin crossed his arms feeling attacked on all sides so ruthlessly that he was in physical pain. "Especially to her? What is going on Eilin? This didn't come out of nowhere did it? This has to do with that intense questioning you gave me about Íth the other time, right?"

Eilin glared at him. "This has to do with me realizing that this woman seeks more out of you than a mere friend and you being too slow to understand it!"

Thorin smiled bitterly and raised his arms. "Oh, now we are also addressing my intellect…right."

"Don't put words into my mouth." She pointed at him.

Thorin inhaled deeply and tilted his head. "Did your spy see us talking in the training grounds? Was Rhiannon unable to listen to what we said to each other? Is that why you questioned me about that day so hard? Did you make your own assumptions about all this? Have you been creating fables about Íth and me? Is this why you exploded like that out of nowhere for an innocent touch I offered a pained woman in need?"

"Don't try to turn the tables on me!" Eilin warned and her eyes spat fire towards him.

Thorin rubbed his forehead and smirked. "How can I? I am already condemned by you as it seems. What do you wish me to do to fix this? Ask your forgiveness? Very well, I am sorry for expressing my honest concern about a woman who almost lost her child in this manner. This folly shall never be repeated."

"Don't turn sarcastic on me." She cautioned him, but his attack didn't leave her unaffected.

"What do you desire me to do? I come here in order to think about serious matters of state only to find you ready for another fight over practically nothing. I find myself accused of things I can hardly understand. I made a fool out of you in front of my court because I embraced a panicked woman….Fine! I am sorry about that! Do you want me to gather my court and ask for your forgiveness in public too?! I will do that also if I can settle you down for Mahal's sake…just for the love of heaven give me a break!" He cried feeling utterly frustrated at her insinuations.

Eilin drew back and her eyes watered. "You are attacking me when you should be embracing me. I am the victim here!"

"I am not so sure that you do need my embrace...I tried to give to you when I came in and your attitude pushed me away…." Thorin felt his eyes pooling with unshed tears.

Eilin's eyes filled with unspeakable sadness. "Never doubt that..." She muttered.

"I don't know what to do anymore, Eilin..." His voice broke with uncertainty.

It took her several moments of deliberation, but the Queen uncrossed her arms and walked over to him quietly. Then she stood in front of him and a few tear drops cascaded down her cheeks. He was unable to stop his fingers from lifting up to her cheekbone in order to wipe them away. She shuddered at the touch and her eyes got lost at the wing of the dove tattoo that was peeping from the opening of his tunic. Her hand came up and touched it gently. "This has to do with how much I love you and how afraid I am of losing you." She whispered.

Thorin closed his eyes. "No, this has to do with trust."

Eilin wrapped her other arm under his armpit and leaned her body on his with a sigh of defeat. She couldn't talk, because what he was saying was true. Her trust had been shaken and she needed him to restore it for her. She needed herself to allow him to do that above all.

"No man or woman can destroy us Eilin. Not Íth now or Myrna's husband in the past. Our destruction can only come from within…..from the mistrust that is slowly taking up roots and spreading its disease in our relationship. This has to stop now before it tear us apart. Stop it….stop all this now ….I beg you. Stop it because I cannot take it anymore. Not at this moment…I cannot handle it now…" He muttered, but his arms came quickly to pull her in and he supported his cheek on her head with a fatigue that touched her heart.

"You gave me reasons to distrust you Thorin." Eilin squeezed her eyes tight and felt the pain she was inflicting him with, tormenting her heart also.

Thorin lost all his resolution upon those words. "I did?"

Eilin didn't dare move.

"Even though I have always been loyal to you?" He whispered.

Eilin didn't speak, but she swallowed heavily.

"Even though I love you more than my life?" His eyes released the tears he had been keeping with a lot of effort.

Eilin's pooled with fresh ones and her bottom lip trembled. "Tell me about Siv..." She exhaled.

"What?" His voice was totally overcome when he heard that and she felt his arms becoming limp around her.

"You want me to trust you...then tell me about Siv. Why did you break up with her back then? Dwarves never break up engagements. What made you do such an atrocious thing to her Thorin? You've spoken to me about everything, but never about her. I need to know." Eilin gritted her teeth and tightened her arms around him, maybe because she knew he was about to pull away after that.

It took him several moments to resume his breathing again for it had halted completely along with his heartbeat. He reached out and grasped her biceps. Then he pulled back even though she resisted. "What did you just ask me?" His voice was very low, barely heard and his eyes completely broken.

"Tell me about her please..." She whispered and tried to cup his cheek with eyes that radiated her despair.

"Did you assume that I separated with Siv because of another woman?" he hissed, feeling his heart torn to threads even at the insinuation.

Eilin sobbed and tried to touch his face again. She tried to push his hands away and burrow in his arms. Despite their heated argument all she wanted was the heat of his body to comfort her right now. "Tell me please..." She begged.

His brows met angrily and he took another step away from her, detaching himself from the pain she was inflicting as much as he physically could. "Is this why you are asking me? Do you believe I broke up with Siv because of another woman?!" His voice thundered suddenly.

Eilin jerked nervously and her sobs seized. She cupped her mouth not knowing what to tell him. Right now he didn't look hurt, he looked infuriated. "I just need to know. You know everything about me, yet I don't know what happened to you back then. Please..."

"Where is your trust?" His rich tone rumbled towards her angrily.

Eilin felt all the hair on her nape standing on end. "Listen to me please..."

He drew up to his full height. "We said enough today. There are serious matters of state I have to deliberate on, so can you allow me some privacy please?" His voice turned formal and distant.

Eilin frowned. "Don't send me away like that..."

He crossed his arms. "This question and the dark insinuation behind it has hurt me more than all the snarky remarks we have exchanged combined. I need some privacy." He repeated.

Eilin reached up and wiped away her tears. "I won't go away like that."

"You shall remain until I admit my past follies with Siv? Until you determine that I fooled around her back with another woman? Until you have enough evidence to accuse me of trying to do the same now with Ith?" He raised his brow.

"I never said that!" She snapped.

"But you suspected it..." He came up to her face assertively.

Eilin inhaled sharply.

"Tell me that you didn't suspect such an atrocious thing and I will take everything back. I will embrace you right now and forget you ever asked me this shameful question. I will overlook that your mistrust has grown to such an extent that you believe me capable of dishonorable actions meant for lesser men." His eyes were harsh on her and she felt that she was not addressed at that moment by her beloved husband, but by the King of the North himself.

Eilin urged herself to tell him that she didn't suspect him of infidelity with Siv. She tried to force herself to speak, but she knew that if she wasn't honest he'd know it immediately. Her heart couldn't lie even if she forced her mouth to do so and he'd see through that. So she opted for honesty instead despite how painful it was. "I want to learn Thorin. I am entitled don't you think?"

Thorin took another step back and his brows creased. "Of course you are."

"Then tell me." Her eyes sparkled with hope.

It took him several moments to respond and his words locked Eilin up tight. "I shall do so when you show me the faith I am owed. The faith you owe the man you chose as a husband and father to your children. Before you do that, you shall get no answers."

Eilin's heart froze and she crossed her arms on her body protectively. "Is that your final word?" She thrust her chin up proudly.

"Yes my Queen." He bowed his head respectfully.

"Very well my King." Eilin had to gather every single ounce of strength in her body in order to curtsy respectfully at him and walk to the door. She opened it and went out without another word.

Thorin felt his body collapsing. He staggered back to his chair and emptied himself in it. He covered his face and allowed himself to cry for the fear the words of Elrond had awoken in him about the safety of Durin. Above all though he wept for how deeply distrustful his was wife was of him.

Something that could singlehandedly destroy him far easier than any feeble tries from Sauron.

* * *

 


	15. Two broken hearts

 

* * *

Celebriel looked at Durin's long black hair that was laying on his back. She tightened her lips, stippled her fingers behind her back and tiptoed close to him. She didn't want to scare away the crow that was perched next to his boot, nibbling on small pieces of honey cake.

"You are very hard to find." She said.

Durin glowered at her above his shoulder and then his attention returned to the crow. "I was not hiding."

Celebriel sat on the step next to him and observed the river forest, which was spreading peacefully under the balcony of the stargazing rooms. "This place looks like a classroom."

Durin shrugged. "It is."

"For you and your siblings or for the common folk?"

"My siblings and I are getting tutored along with the common folk." The young Prince said and caressed the feathers of his favorite crow.

"What are they teaching you here?" Celebriel looked at the huge telescope.

"About the stars, about earth, about the seas and the rivers, the forests, the cities, the mountains and the Kingdoms under them, about our customs, our traditions, our Elders scrolls….everything really." Durin rejoined moodily.

"You don't sound so enthusiastic." Celebriel noticed.

"My mood has nothing to do with school." Durin allowed his crow to nibble on his finger.

Celebriel crossed her arms in front of her chest and arranged her long silver dress around her ankles. "Does your dad want you to be schooled more or fight more?"

That drew a small smile from Durin's lips. "He finds them both equally important."

Celebriel bit her lower lip and tried to see his face. "Did you have classes today?"

Durin nodded. "Yeah. We just finished."

"It's empty. Why did you stay behind?" Celebriel asked quietly.

"I am not in the mood to go anywhere else." Durin shrugged.

"It was lucky that I did not disturb you earlier during your classes." The beautiful young Elfling smiled.

"Lord Thomek would have allowed you to partake in the tutoring, but I am not sure Lady Gilviel would have agreed. She is a bit mean." Durin gave Celebriel a fleeting glance.

"Mean to the heirs of Thorin Oakenshield? She is bold." Celebriel smiled.

"Nah, she just does her job well and my dad trusts her. She can scold us freely if we don't do our homework or if we make too much noise and she can do that to everyone, no exceptions made." Durin propped his chin on his knees.

"Well I suppose it's good your dad hasn't scared her away from doing her job properly. My teachers are strict also, but my dad doesn't allow them to discipline me." Celebriel's indigo eyes fell at the horizon.

"That's stupid." Durin frowned.

"Privileged. That's what auntie Arwen calls it." Celebriel grinned.

Durin's lip pouted.

She turned to him thoughtfully. "You don't seem to be in a good mood."

He shook his head and caressed the neck of his crow. "I am not."

"Schooling was hard today?" Celebriel scooted closer to him and their shoulders touched.

He looked at her briefly. "No…"

"What then?" She leaned her chin on her knees also and gazed at him impatiently.

Durin huffed. "Mom and dad are fighting a lot lately. It makes me sad…"

Celebriel scowled.

"They think I don't know, but I know everything. I hear them all the time….Rhianaye does too, but Thrárin is still too young to understand." Durin explained quietly.

Celebriel's young heart skirted. "It must be hard for you."

Another shrug from Durin. "I cannot do anything about it…"

"You don't have to. Things could have been worse." Celebriel's smile was reserved.

"Worse? How?" Durin's eyes turned inquisitive.

The Elfling looked at the forest and it took her several moments to speak. "My mom is dead…."

Durin frowned.

"She fell from a blade of darkness. After that my father was never the same. He is always angry with everyone, including me." Celebriel whispered.

"I am sorry." Durin said quietly.

"I guess what I am trying to say is that I would prefer my mom to still be alive and fight with my dad all the time. That would be okay for me." She smiled sadly.

Durin looked away.

Celebriel twisted her lips. "Isn't it funny that I wish my parents could do what yours are doing, while the same thing makes you so sad?"

Durin's azure eyes rested on his bird again which was nibbling the strings of his boots in order to grab his attention. "I suppose there are far worse things than my parents fighting. You are right."

Celebriel lips curled down.

Durin reached out and touched her forearm. "I am truly sorry…"

"It was a long time ago. I don't remember her well. I was just a baby, but I have seen drawings of her. They say she was prettier than Lady Galadriel…" Her eyes glimmered on that.

A shy smile formed on the young boy's lips.

Celebriel pointed at the crow. "He seems to like you."

"He is one of my best friends." Durin straightened his body proudly.

"What's his name?"

"Guntram, it means war-raven. He is Roac's most trusted lieutenant." Durin explained with renewed vigor.

"The famous Roac? The King of Raven Hill?" Celebriel's eyes sparkled.

"Yes, have you seen him?" Durin raised his brows.

"No…he wasn't part of the tour Lord Balin gave us." Her face fell.

"Hey, I can show him to you. He only listens to the call of my dad, but sometimes he attends to me too. If I send Guntram, he will be able to bring back Roac for us. You want me to do that?" He grinned at her.

"I'd love that! I have read so much about him! Can you talk to him?" Celebriel clapped enthusiastically.

"Yes, but he doesn't listen to me." Durin chuckled.

Celebriel's eyes seared into his. "Why?" She seemed mesmerized.

"He follows only the King's commands. You just wait and see though…I will make him hear me one day." Durin said seriously.

She nodded entranced. "I am sure you will. So when can we see him?"

Durin offered his finger to Guntram and he climbed on it. Then he stood up and led his crow to perch on his shoulder. "Right now if you want to."

Celebriel jumped up eagerly. "Are you serious?"

Durin smiled widely. "Yeah, we will go to the King's bastion and I will send Guntram to call for Roac."

Celebriel cupped her cheeks. "That will be perfect!"

"Come on then." Durin offered his hand and she was about to grasp it when Lis made her appearance at the door and stopped them.

"My Prince I have been looking all over for you." Lis' face clouded instantly when she saw Celebriel.

"Whatever for?" Durin glowered at her.

"It is time for your evening training." Lis' eyes darted annoyed towards the Elfling.

"I can't go today. I have other things to do." Durin grasped Celebriel's hand and walked to the door.

Lis' hand fell on his shoulder detaining him. "The King will be angry if you miss on your archery master. I am responsible for you."

He pushed her away. "Not today you aren't. I am going to deal with my father. You don't have to interfere."

Lis pulled back and crossed her arms across her torso defensively. "Where are you going then?"

Durin's eyes fell heavy on her. "Are you my bodyguard or my inquisitor?"

Lis took another step back and felt her heart sinking when she saw how tight Durin was holding the Celebriel's hand. "I am sorry my Lord. I just wanted to ask if you needed any help."

Durin's frown became heavier. "Do I look like I need help?"

Lis' lip quaked. "No?" She murmured feeling attacked on all sides.

"No I don't, therefore you are dismissed. Go have fun. Do something you like...um…like archery." He said and smiled at Celebriel.

She cupped her mouth and giggled.

Lis' brows furrowed and her face broke in misery.

"Bye!" He said and pulled Celebriel to the door.

Lis observed their joined hands until the door closed shut behind them. Then she emptied herself on the step that Durin was sitting before and crossed her hands above her knees. Her eyes looked in the direction of the forest and welled so quickly that she was unable to stop her reactions. Her fingers clutched each other tightly and her teeth bit hard on her upper lip as she tried to stop herself from crying. She didn't know why she felt this way. She had been fine up till the point she saw Lord Durin taking hold of the Elfling's hand. That is when her stomach clenched and an unexpected wave of jealousy washed over her.

She came up here with the intention of escorting the Prince to his archery lesson only to find him holding hands with this…this…this girl who had silver hair with golden threads which seemed to cascade as if by magic down her silken locks. Lis dropped her sword and lifted up her hand to touch her rough curly blonde hair. She never had time to take care of them. Which soldier ever needed to have such soft and beautiful hair?

Not her….no….

Her face contorted in anger when she remembered Celebriel's refined dress and her beautiful sparkling boots. Lis looked down at her dirty leather trousers and at her disheveled tunic that had food stains on it. She angrily wiped away the tears that trickled down her cheekbones. She remembered Celebriel's enchanting indigo eyes and wanted to pluck hers out for being such a mundane and earthly color. Her fingers brushed her sideburns that were beginning to become more pronounced and she felt madly resentful of Celebriel's hairless face.

Could there ever be a comparison between her and that girl?

 _Not even close….not a chance in a million…_ her mind teased viciously and a couple of more tears escaped her eyes.

She was a soldier, not a girly girl like Lord Durin had already said. No one would ever see her as a girl. No one would ever look at her like the Prince was looking at Celebriel…the young star of the Elven realm. Her dream had always been to serve the King and his family. To become a bodyguard to his children, but most of all to protect the legendary reincarnation of their honorable forefather. She never cared about being clean, wearing shiny boots or dresses of exquisite fabric. She didn't care about washing her hair and brushing them till they became silky-smooth. Being a soldier never required from her to become a beauty and she didn't mind that at all….

Until now….

What changed now and why was she so pissed off?

She sniffled and kicked the floor angrily, pushing her sword away. Then more tears trickled down her stuffy nose and made her angrier towards everyone for some unknown reason that she couldn't understand.

* * *

 

It was long after noon and the lunch Eilin send Thorin went untouched as did the bottle of ale he had dug up from under the desk. The first thought he had after his fight with Eilin was to get drunk, but the overwhelming nervousness he felt about Durin's safety after learning that Sauron had all but revealed himself officially was enough to keep him sober. He was not going to rule his kingdom buried knee deep in alcohol because him and Eilin were having problems. He needed to pull himself together and balance out everything. He had to act as was expected from the King of the North despite his marital problems.

So when he decided to keep himself clear-headed, he tried to get involved with more than a few matters of state that were pending in order to keep himself busy, but managed nothing. He ended up sitting on his chair bemusing towards the empty fireplace, feeling lost for a long time. Then slowly without realizing a wave of dizziness washed over him and his thoughts became entangled and fuzzy. The need to close his eyes was almost irrepressible. He crossed his hands and lay his head on top of them.

Before he knew it, he was asleep.

When the usual by now nightmare of that humid cavern revisited him, his fingers crushed the scrolls under them. No one was there to witness him groaning and his mouth slurring Thrain's name repeatedly. No one saw the blood that began trickling from his nose, staining the sleeve of his royal-blue silken tunic. He would have probably remained trapped in that dream forever, hadn't it been for a discreet knock on the door which surprisingly was enough to arouse him.

"Eilin!" He gasped and jerked upright.

Balin peeped inside. "Are you free laddie?"

Thorin touched his nose with the back of his hand. A heavy frown formed on his brow when he saw the blood. "Yeah." He muttered.

Balin threw the door open and scowled. "What the hell happened to you?!" he cried and rushed over to help him.

Thorin pulled out a clean cloth and covered his nose. "Nothing…."

Balin gritted his teeth and pushed his hand away. "Let me see!"

Thorin shoved him away. "Stay back your troll's armpit. I am fine." He admonished.

Balin didn't seem easy to be deterred. He returned full force, slapped Thorin's hand away assertively and leaned his head back. He pressed the bridge of the King's nose in order to stop the blood flow and cleaned his nose. "What the hell happened? I have never seen you get a bloody nose outside a fight."

Thorin exhaled in defeat and allowed his over-worried advisor to help him. It was easier and quicker than try to fight him off. "There is a first time for everything."

"Did you hurt yourself?" Balin's eyes thinned.

"No…I was asleep." Thorin cringed.

Balin's frown became more pronounced. "You got a bloody nose while you slept?" He seemed incredulous.

"Well apparently." -Thorin felt more and more annoyed by Balin's solicitude - "Now can I have my personal space back?"

Balin didn't answer, but he also didn't relent one bit. He remained above Thorin, pinching his nose for what felt like an eternity and the King allowed him to do so uncomplainingly. Only when he felt certain the blood flow had stopped he allowed Thorin to breathe. He went around the desk, served him a glass of water and brought it up to his face. "Bloody nose out of nowhere my ass!" –he tsked- "You are overworked that is what you are. You have taken on too many things at once and even though you might feel that you can handle everything on your own…you cannot! Now drink!" he commanded.

Thorin took the glass and obeyed, but the look in his eyes was murderous. "Don't assume please."

Balin pointed at the untouched lunch. "You didn't eat anything!"

Thorin recoiled. "I was not hungry."

Balin raised his brow and placed his hand on the desk. "You are overloaded and you'd do well to admit it and ask for help, laddie. All of us are here to protect and help you. Use us for Mahal's sake! You fell asleep on your desk and ended up with a bloody nose! Does that sound healthy to you?"

Thorin gritted his teeth. "A night of good sleep will solve all my problems. What more do you want now?"

Balin crossed his arms and his nose flared as the frustration was oozing out of him. "You are in over your head. I heard what happened with Eilin before."

Thorin looked up sharply. "Every man deserves a moment of privacy …accept from me. Every one has been hard up in my business, no matter how personal it might be."

"You are the King of the north! No privacy in that title, get used to it!" -Those words were austere, but on seeing Thorin's dejection his voice softened- "Look, I am sorry. I never meant to overhear your argument, I was just standing outside. "

Thorin rubbed his temples. "Fine, so you heard. What do you want now? To give me the third degree about it?"

Balin smiled. "I am here to support you no matter what laddie, not to create more problems for you. I can see you falling apart at the seams. Look at you…just look at you. Haven't seen you in such a disarray for at least a decade."

Thorin closed his eyes.

Balin approached and clutched his shoulder. "Talk to me for the love of Mahal. I am here for you. I know that something is troubling you and you need to share before it drives you mad."

It seemed like every single muscle in Thorin's body tensed simultaneously at those words. "You know I love you Balin, but your solicitude is suffocating me right now. Tell me why you came please and drop the assumptions."

The advisor drew back and observed his King meticulously. He knew Thorin well enough to understand that he wasn't going to talk unless he wanted to and right now he didn't seem inclined to do so. Still Balin made another effort. "Please, speak to me…" He begged.

"Tell me what you want or get out…" Thorin raised his brow and pointed at the door.

Balin closed his eyes and exhaled defeated. "Lady Íth is outside asking to see you. She is carrying a tea tray. Should I send her away?" Balin said quietly.

"Send her away? Why?" Thorin frowned.

"Because it is inappropriate for you to accept her right now." Balin dared.

"How so?!" The King raised his brow slowly getting prepared for another showdown even though Balin declared he was not here to give him any trouble.

"The Queen..." Balin began, but Thorin spoke over him.

"Forget the Queen and tell me how is accepting a Lady of my court inappropriate?" Thorin glared at him.

Balin pressed his lips not knowing how to reply to that.

"She brought me a bleeding cup of tea, not a marriage proposal!" Thorin struck his hand on the table feeling mad beyond count suddenly.

Balin raised his hands. "Calm down laddie, please."

"No! All of you should calm down, not me! This woman almost lost her child. She is only trying to thank me for Mahal's sake and it feels as if the very heavens have torn open to shower me with unfathomable accusations!" Thorin flayed his arms.

"I am not judging you, but the Queen might if she sees Lady Íth pursuing you again." Balin tried to calm him down with a quiet tone that didn't work.

"Pursuing me?" Thorin's brow arched.

Balin pressed his lips and looked up sheepishly.

Thorin stood up and pushed his chair so hard that it almost toppled over. "I don't care what Eilin might think! I have had enough!"

Balin paled.

Thorin's face became red. "Never doubt that I love my wife more than my life, but right now she is pissing me off with her insolence. I never gave her reason to distrust me and she is breathing down my neck like a harpy. I have enough on my mind already…I cannot baby-sit her every paranoia. She needs to grow up at some point!"

"Son…" Balin attempted a gentler approach.

"Send Lady Íth in!" Thorin thundered and emptied himself on his golden gilded chair again.

Balin exhaled and looked at him imploringly. "Don't allow your obstinacy to feed your anger. Nothing good will come out of it."

"Not everything in life is black and white Balin. Eilin needs to learn how to see the various shades of grey and understand that the line between wrong and right is very thin sometimes. We have three kids, I made her my Queen, she is my One...I can lay down my life for her and what do I ask for in return? Her trust! A bit of faith in me could go a long way right now. Lack thereof can drive me mad." Thorin's deep voice was broken.

Balin took another step closer. "I understand how much this is affecting you, but it is not just Eilin's jealousy that is causing this eruption in you, is it son? There are other things bothering your mind."

Thorin remained silent.

"Is it what Lord Elrond related about Sauron?" Balin frowned.

"That'd be reason enough for anyone to lose their sleep over, don't you think?" Thorin's voice dropped.

"Of course it is, but are you sure there aren't other things upsetting you?" Balin insisted.

"Like what?" Thorin's glare was penetrating.

"I couldn't help but notice that you weren't quite honest with Elrond. You may have fooled him, but not us. We know you too well…. What is going on lad? Something is eating you up." Balin's voice was honestly disturbed.

"You are eating me up along with my wife!" Thorin hurled back.

"You may not yet be ready to talk about this, I understand…" Balin raised his hands in surrender.

"Show yourself out and show lady Íth in!" Thorin commanded.

Balin sighed and bowed his head. "I will, but remember that I am here if you wish to talk about it."

Thorin inclined his forehead on his hand. "Just leave Balin …"

His friend seemed unwilling to do so for several moments, but on seeing no other reactions from the King he conformed.

It took several moments for Thorin to stifle the tears that were threatening once more to spring from his eyes. The last thing he wanted was this woman to catch him in the middle of this mess. Especially when she was just a day away from the most nightmarish experience of her life. He leaned back on his chair, covered his face and closed his eyes. The emotions that were chocking him at that moment were so overwhelming that it was almost impossible for him to calm down. The more he remained alone in there with his fiends gnawing on his mind, the more his throat closed down and the more his patience was wearing thinner.

When Lady Íth spoke he felt a wave of denial rushing through his body. "My King." She curtsied respectfully.

"My Lady." He acknowledged.

She smiled and approached the table holding a tray. "Lord Balin said I could come in."

Thorin inclined his head.

"I took the initiative to make you some tea. Do you find me imprudent?" She gave him a gentle smile.

"No, just merely insightful. A cup of tea doesn't sound bad. How is young Brunar?" Thorin exhaled feeling the traces of his nightmare tingling his spine and the heaviness in his head the prelude to another bloody nose most probably.

She crossed her hands in front of her apron. "I think what happened frightened him so much that he will take a long time to get back in the water."

"Don't force him. Allow him to approach himself whenever he feels ready." He suggested.

Her face opened up with a sweet smile. "I was expecting you to recommend that I throw him back inside and demand from him to swim. Much like you did when the fight with Prince Thrárin started."

"That was a different experience altogether. In that instance young Brunar had to learn how to defend himself against a foe, even if it was just a friendly banter. In this case he almost died. We mustn't compare these two situations, neither must we treat them the same way." Thorin responded.

Íth sighed and looked at her hands. "You are right."

"How do you feel?" Thorin's eyes met hers with honest concern.

"I am trying to forget what happened, but it is hard. Last night I dreamt that he was struggling to stay afloat. You didn't get to him on time and he got pulled under. I dove in the murky waters…his hand was there extended a few inches from mine and I couldn't grasp it. He slipped between my fingers and sank in the abyss. I woke up terrified." Íth frowned at the floor, disturbed by those images.

Thorin beheld her silently for a few moments. "It must be so hard for you…"

Íth raised her eyes reluctantly to his. "Just knowing that my son is safely sleeping beside me and is not submerged in those murky waters is enough for me to forget any bad dream. I will pull through in the end, worry not." She tried to sound reassuring.

"I am sorry you had to go through such a terrifying experience. I cannot even imagine what you must have felt like...almost losing a child." His voice was barely heard.

Íth eyes captured his with an honesty that made his heart skirt. "When I lost my husband the only thought that sustained me was by boy. If Brunar dies before me I will kill myself…never doubt that."

Thorin felt his throat tightening. "I don't doubt you, for I feel the same about my children."

Íth's eyes became warm and gentle. "It is something that I don't have to think about anymore and it is all because of you. You have my eternal gratitude…."

Thorin raised his hand and spoke over her. "I would have done the same for anyone in my kingdom."

Íth lowered her gaze. "Still how can I ever repay you for saving the life of my boy?"

"I don't need repayment. It will be enough for me to know that both he and you are recovering." Thorin forced himself to smile.

Íth curtsied deeply. "We are, Sire. Prince Thrárin is doing an admirable job in uplifting Brunar's spirits."

Thorin's smile this time was honest and it showed. "I know."

"He is trying his best to make him forget. Your boy has a heart of gold. You are one lucky father." Ith's bright eyes found his again kindly.

"Thank you for reminding me. Sometimes all my other obligations make me forget." Thorin's smile turned forlorn.

Íth lips turned down and her eyes framed an earnest worry.

"I don't worry only for Brunar's recovery, but also about yours." Thorin added after several moments of deliberation.

Her cheeks blushed quickly. "I am unworthy of your attentions my Lord."

Thorin's lips toyed with a smile of uncertainty.

Íth's face turned deep crimson. "May I serve you some tea?" She gestured to the tray.

"By all means." He leaned back and crossed his hands in front of his chin.

She took care to prepare his porcelain cup with all the propriety required from her position in accordance to his and he didn't try to stop her. For the first time that day he allowed his feelings to settle down as his eyes followed the elegant movements of her hands while she prepared his brew. When she finished she set it in front of him, curtsied and then took a few steps back. She crossed her hands in front of her apron and smiled. "Won't you try it out?"

He took a sip and felt the warmth of the brew immediately calming him down. A vague feeling of contentment almost captured him…..almost…because the dark thoughts came to quickly chase it away. "It is very good."

Íth's regard was searching. "I thought it was a good moment to remind you of my offer for a cup of tea, hoping that I was not going to bother you with my presence during such a difficult moment."

Thorin pressed his lips and took another sip before putting the cup down. "How did you come to the conclusion that this is a difficult moment?"

"I saw you leaving the treasury vaults in a rather dreary mood and it looked like you needed some cheering up. Was I mistaken?"

Thorin felt his brow creasing and he found himself unwilling to speak. He had been expecting this kind of sensitivity for his plights from Eilin, not a stranger. That realization wounded him deeply.

"Your silence speaks volumes." She gave him a lopsided smile he missed.

"Well…" He muttered.

"So was it a difficult day?" She tilted her head.

"It was a difficult decade." He admitted after a long silence.

She sighed and gave him a gentle nod. "I understand. The brew might be helpful to rejuvenate your body, but it won't do much for your mind and soul. Those need other things to feel better."

"Like?" Thorin smirked.

"Talking maybe?" She shrugged.

He humphed and scratched his bearded cheek.

"I understand. Some things might not be easy to discuss with a woman you hardly know." She waved him off, trying not to sound hurt.

Thorin's smile lingered as did his pondering gaze on her.

"Am I right?" She continued.

He inclined his head. "More or less."

"Well maybe we can discuss about them in the third person." She raised her brows.

"What?" He was taken aback.

"Let's just assume that you have a friend who has these problems and you are talking to me about him. Will that be easier?" She said playfully.

His smile opened up. "I don't know. I have never tried that trick before."

She touched her lips with her finger. "Let me start. Sir, I heard that your friend has some serious problems…."

Thorin didn't even realize that they way Lady Íth was handling him had allowed his bitterness and anger to back away as well as all his fears to settle down. She simply made him forget everything with her pleasant manners and he needed that so much at the moment. He just got drawn in by her happy disposition and her willingness to help him without becoming too inquisitive so he decided to play along. "Indeed he has."

She sauntered in front of his office assuming a professional attitude that only managed to amuse him more. "Personal problems or professional ones?"

Thorin didn't hesitate. "Both."

"Poor sod." Íth rolled her eyes.

Thorin snorted. "You can say that twice."

"What are his professional problems about?" She arched her brow.

"Appeasing several members of a very difficult alliance, preparing for an upcoming war and dealing with the rise of a powerful enemy that might be of great menace to his Kingdom, family and to him personally." Thorin's face fell.

Ith's lips parted and her brows clouded. "Oh…that sounded more severe than I have been anticipating. I am so sorry, Sire."

"We are talking about the supposed problems of a supposed friend, remember?" He warned.

Ith nodded and her brows unwound. "Indeed, but how can I offer advice in such solemn matters? Such a feat is beyond my capabilities."

He offered her a lopsided smile. "My friend doesn't require advice."

Ith inhaled deeply and her eyes filled with worry. "I can certainly understand why he looks so disturbed now."

"Don't feel sorry for him. Allow him to be tormented by these matters of state, my Lady. It is his job to figure out a solution for them. He is doing what he knows how to do best." Thorin's look was strict.

"I am not feeling sorry for him, just worried." Íth hurried.

"Don't be." He rejoined calmly.

Ith continued carefully. "How easy is it to find a solution to all that?"

Thorin sobered up. "Not easy at all."

"Does he ever take a break from thinking these problems?" Íth continued.

"Not even as we speak." Thorin didn't dither.

Ith pressed his lips. "Since he cannot find a solution to these problems now then maybe he should allow himself to rest for a while then."

Thorin leaned back and crossed his hands in front of his face. "You think?"

"What good is it for him to ponder on such grave matters when he cannot find a solution? Sometimes a break can give us a new perspective on things. Maybe he should take some time to settle his heart and clear his mind." Íth suggested.

Thorin raised his brows. "I will certainly give him this sound advice."

"Make sure you do that." Íth pointed at him.

Thorin's countenance softened and he smiled.

"Now shall we talk about his personal problems?" She ventured in what felt a much more difficult discussion than the previous one, with care.

Thorin's smile faded and he found himself caressing his temple absently.

Ith's face settled. "Oh, that part seems very delicate."

His lips turned down sourly.

"It must be very raw." She frowned.

He looked up at her and felt his eyes burning.

Her countenance took a plunge. "My Lord?"

He shook his head. "What do you want me to say to that?"

"Counter my assumption as false?" Íth raised her brows.

He looked at her in apathy.

She rounded the desk. "It is not false, is it?"

He didn't reply.

"Does your friend wish to discuss those personal problems with me?" Íth attempted another tactic.

Thorin felt his throat growing dry and his eyes pooled with tears. "No." He whispered.

"I cannot ask your friend what those problems are without sounding intrusive, but I can clearly see that they are tearing him apart." Ith's frown deepened.

He shook his head in denial again and those tears lingered. "You are right…" He muttered feeling overcome.

"That is so unfair…" Íth spoke in a hushed tone.

Thorin frowned. "Unfair why?"

"That such an exceptional soul as your friend has to suffer in silence…." Íth's eyes unexpectedly surged with tears.

Thorin gasped.

"No man who is able to share his burdens ends up looking as damaged as you do at this moment my Lord…" She murmured and took another step closer to his intricate chair.

Thorin's throat dried out.

"I cannot endure seeing you suffer in this manner and yet I cannot ask you to reveal your troubles…." She whispered.

"Everyone is condemned to suffer in the end." His voice was hushed.

"Not you…it shouldn't be you…" She whispered and her eyes were looking at him achingly.

"I am no exception to the rule." He frowned.

"Then you shouldn't be!" -She said with a sudden passion that flattened him to the wall. She kneeled unexpectedly in front of him and grasped his hand- "Men like you shouldn't be allowed to suffer." She exclaimed zealously. He felt her hands shaking hard around his.

"Please stand up Lady Ith…this is inappropriate." He tried.

She shook her head and her face overflowed with tears. "I will not stand up. I will stay kneeling here, pledging my life at your feet Sire, because what you did for my family cannot be repaid no matter how much I try. You saved my only child. What you did for us is irreplaceable. A man who acts with such graciousness must not be allowed to suffer."

He lifted up his hand and let it loom above her golden hair, debating if touching her was right or wrong. "This is not how life works young lady."

"I don't care…" Ith's lips crushed at the back of his hand and she closed her eyes as she tried to stop her heart from galloping out of her chest.

"Let me give you some advice and in the meantime feed myself a dose of reality, okay?" He gave a wistful smile that was lost in her.

"I am listening my Lord." She muttered and pressed her forehead on his hand.

"I wish that life could prepare us for the battles that we are going to partake in. Some of those battles require for us men to lift up our swords and sacrifice our lives for our kingdoms, our families and our kin. They require women to struggle through the pains of childbirth and the protection of their children with or without their husbands. Those battles are truly straightforward. Some others are far more difficult to win and far too painful to lose. These are the battles of the heart, young lady and they are truly unfair." He said quietly and drew his hand back at a safer distance.

She raised her eyes to him and frowned. "Are you talking about love?"

"It's just so difficult sometimes to know how to do the right thing for the people you love. No one warns you beforehand about the hardships of the relationships in your life. Either marital of parental. How failing at them can destroy your self-confidence and wreck every belief you used to hold sacred." He continued with the same wistful tone.

Ith was watching him intensely, not daring utter a word to stop him.

"Therefore we mustn't be mad at life for being unfair. We must embrace its hardships and learn how to turn our failures around. Nevertheless there will come a time when we are going to be unable to win no matter what we do and however honorably we fight our battles." He continued.

"What then?" She frowned totally bewitched.

"Then we must accept defeat …." His brow clouded and his eyes filled with sadness.

She tightened her fingers around his hand. "My Lord…that sounds so dark. There is always a way, isn't there?"

 _Then I will find a way…I will keep trying to find a way to fix things for us…_ He remembered the words he told Eilin a couple of days ago on that beautiful afternoon when their love had been able to shine through the darkness that lingered like a heavy cloud above them recently. He forced himself to smile and patted her head in a fatherly manner. "Of course there is always a way, but some days even the brightest spirits can feel too introspective to acknowledge that."

Ith's lips turned down sadly. "These are the days you cannot find comfort anywhere, right?"

Thorin nodded.

"This is one of them." She frowned.

He smiled bitterly.

"People demand their mighty Kings to never be helpless, right?" She whispered.

"I suppose the demand comes mightier from within. We expect more from ourselves than others do from us." He added with a haunted look in his eyes.

"Don't be so hard on yourself my Lord. You are an exceptional father who also happens to be an incomparable King who also happens to need a break now and then." Ith's mouth formed a sweet smile.

Thorin closed his eyes and exhaled hard. "A break sounds good, but rather unattainable."

Ith's gaze was caring. "You are just mortal like the rest of us even though people believe that you are kin to the great Maia. You are just like us, aren't you? You just need to rest..."

Thorin's countenance mellowed. "Thank you for trying to make me feel better."

"I am not merely trying to make you feel better." She frowned.

He gazed at her confused.

"I can do more than that. Let me help you my Lord…let me do something to alleviate the suffering you feel…." She chocked on those words and her eyes scorched through his.

"You have helped me already. Your tasty brew and you comforting words are a tourniquet for my heart. May Mahal bless you and your child with a long and prosperous life. I wish nothing but the best for you."

Íth lowered her head and pressed his hand on her cheek. "Let me do more. I wish to do more for you. Ask me for anything….I will give you anything you desire."

Thorin's breath caught on these words and Eilin's voice echoed in his mind with a warning his ego didn't want to acknowledge. His heart dropped and it took him several moments of deliberation to speak. "Sometimes there are two voices arguing in a man's head. They are both declaring they are right, but in the end only one of them is. The voice that will prevail is what makes or breaks a warrior…it is what makes or breaks a man."

Ith was hanging from his lips.

"My final wish is for you and Brunar to be well. That is all I require." He said and his hand landed on her shoulder and pressed it firmly.

Ith squeezed her eyes tight. "How about you then my Lord? How about the troubles of your heart?" Her voice broke.

His eyes got lost in the empty fireplace. "Those shall have to wait…."

Ith exhaled and leaned her head on his hand. As indiscreet as they were at that moment, he knew that his emotions towards this woman were nothing more than friendly and he denied to feel guilty about them anymore. Eilin had to show him that she trusted him to deliver, because he didn't want to feel shamefaced anymore. Today his loyalty didn't waver at all despite the temptation that Íth gave him.

This woman just offered him everything….Had he been a lesser man, especially in the emotional disarray that he was in today he would have taken her offer and no one would have been the wiser. Yet he didn't do it, because the love he felt for his wife never dawdled, not even in his darkest moments. Did Eilin know how faithful he was to her, even though he had the ultimate enticement kneeling in front of him? Would she ever be able to believe him? Would she ever trust him enough to deliver his impeccable ethics? After today he was not so sure.

"Come young lady. Stand up, take a seat across me and pour yourself a cup of tea. Enough groveling at my feet don't you think? I am not my grandfather. I don't enjoy people kneeling." He schooled his voice to sound lively even though his heart was not behind it.

Ith pressed her lips hard on his hand and smiled. "Am I not allowed to stay here a while longer?" Her voice was heartbroken.

Thorin pulled her up gently. "No, because this situation would look compromising for both of us if anyone opened that door." He sounded stricter than he wished.

She stood up and wiped the tears off her face. "Compromising because of what happened between us at the river shore?"

Thorin tilted his head quietly.

She lowered her eyes and her fingers clenched around each other with sudden nervousness. "I never meant to make you feel uncomfortable with what I did my Lord. Neither to offend the Queen. My reaction has been thoughtlessly instinctive and I must ask forgiveness for it…."

Thorin leaned back and got ready to reply but she didn't allow him.

"I will ask your forgiveness, because that is what I must do, but is it what I honestly feel that I should do? I will be truthful to you Sir. I don't regret ever hugging you and if I could do it again without any repercussions I would without a second thought." She admitted with a weakened voice. Her eyes lifted up and searched hopefully for his.

His gaze fell on her harder than he was intending. "That sounds so unfitting that I don't know how to process it. I comprehend the fear that you experienced for your son's life. I can accept your hug as something intuitive, for it is exactly what I offered back to you. Nevertheless hearing you be so unapologetic about something that caused me to lose my good graces with my wife, makes me uncomfortably confused. Do you understand that what happened has caused a hot disturbance between me and the Queen?"

"I never intended to cause such a chaos in your family, but I will not hide the pleasure I got from that hug, Sire. As I cannot deny my secret desire to kneel in front of your feet again and show you my devotion and gratitude in any way." She didn't dare lift up her eyes to him, despite the boldness of her words.

"I will pretend like I didn't hear what you said for the sake of my family. Forgive me." He raised his brow.

His clear dismissal plunged her heart to the darkest pit of despair. "I understand my Lord, but your words don't change how I feel about you. You saved my boy. My life is yours, use it as you please."

Thorin frowned. "Offering up your life so lightly is a folly. Especially to people who have other lives pledged to them."

It took Íth a few moments to accept what was happening and try to control the visible trembling of her hands. She curtsied and felt a cold hand squeezing her stomach. "Please forgive my foolishness, Sire. Your words made me understand that I acted thoughtlessly towards you. My heart craves to please you for what you have done for my family, nevertheless my imprudent actions seem to have invaded the boundaries of propriety. Something that you made sure to remind me just now. Thank you."

He inhaled deeply. "I hope I didn't offend you in any manner."

She closed her eyes and felt her heart thudding. "You didn't my Lord, but I must beg you to allow me to withdraw…"

He frowned. "Why?"

"Because I do not trust myself not to act foolishly towards you once more…Good evening." She whispered quickly and without waiting for an answer she rushed to the door.

"Lady wait a moment please…" His voice was collected.

She stopped with her hand on the doorknob shaking from head to foot, one step from disintegrating at his feet. "Yes?" She didn't dare look at his eyes.

"I feel that you are leaving in a bad mood…I want you to understand that I am not accusing you of anything. I just don't want things to become worse than they already are." He frowned.

She smiled at the panel for a few moments and then forced herself to look at him. His azure eyes made such an alluring contrast to his silver mane that her heart throbbed for him. "Thank you for saving my Brunar. Know that you can find a loyal friend in me."

A ghostly smile upturned the corners of his lips and her heart complained at his image. "You have a loyal friend in me too."

Her heart almost gave up as did her knees. "Thank you my Lord." She leaned her forehead on the wooden panel and before he had a chance to tell her anything more she threw the door open and left.

When the door closed Thorin remained bemusing at the tea set for several moments. Then he leaned his head back and made an attempt to put everything that transpired since this morning at a proper order so he could form some sense of understanding of what was happening to him.

He failed to do so…..


	16. A bit of faith

"I do believe my poor little daughter is falling for the King's oldest son." Loa sounded annoyed as she grabbed another dish in order to dry it out.

Dwalin tasted the tea she had made just for him this morning at the kitchens. "I do believe you are talking nonsense. They are just children."

"You haven't seen how devastated she is now that Lord Durin –bless his prominence- is passing so much time with that Elfling." Load continued meticulously to the next plate.

Dwalin gazed at her above the rim of his cup and cleared his throat. "Can you leave those dishes alone and keep me company? I didn't come here to see you cleaning the kitchen."

Loa glared at him. "You haven't seen her. My poor girl….she is breaking my heart."

Dwalin tapped the chair next to him. "Come woman, join me."

Loa exhaled a whole bout of frustration, but did his bidding.

The moment she sat down he reached up and clasped her hand. "I think you are imagining things. Lis is a very strong and independent girl. She loves training, she spends all her time with the royal guards and her dream was to become Durin's bodyguard. Something that Thorin humored just because he loves her so much."

Loa's mouth formed a faded smile. "The King loves her indeed, doesn't he?"

Dwalin kissed her hand gently. "He sees her like a daughter, second only to Rhianaye and you know it."

Loa closed her eyes and reciprocated his touch, partly relieved. "Still though I have noticed a change in her ever since that girl appeared in Erebor."

"Maybe she worries about her master, because he keeps running away with Celebriel without informing her. It is her job to look out for him. Even though Thorin has placed several experienced guards to look out for his children, he has allowed Lis the honor to follow Durin around all the time and the girl has taken her obligations at heart. Now the Prince is stopping her from achieving her primary goal and that pisses her off. That's all. Stop worrying." Dwalin tried to reassure her.

Loa hesitated. "Still I believe she is experiencing the first naïve and innocent heartbeats for this great born-again legend. See has set her eyes too high and that will end up hurting her deeply."

Dwalin pulled back and tasted his tea once more. "Lis is a bit older than Durin, but she is still a child, they both are. What drivel are you talking about?" He dismissed her.

Loa leaned over and clasped his forearm. "Do me a favor and look at her when she is close to master Durin …please."

Dwalin frowned. "Of course I will if that pleases you."

Loa's face filled with shadows. "Look at her and tell me I am going crazy."

Dwalin cupped her cheek. "Even if Lis' young heart is timidly beating for the even younger heart of master Durin, do you think there is anything you or I can do about it? They are so young still. Everything is so pliable for them…so easy to change. They are too young to make us worry about developing real emotions."

Loa pressed her lips. "I will not wait until they are older for then it might be too late. We can knock some sense into her! Maybe make her understand that there isn't a chance in hell the reincarnation of our beloved forefather would ever look at her for a possible wife in the future!"

"So crush her hopes –if there are any- that is…" Dwalin raised his brow.

Loa's eyes became hard. "Yes we should. Unless we wait for Lord Durin to do the job for us much later and destroy her completely."

Dwalin's countenance fell. "You are truly serious about this, aren't you?"

Loa nodded. "Look at her and tell me I am crazy. Look at her and tell me she doesn't feel for the young prince despite their youth. Look at her and then come back and tell me that we don't have to do anything about this. That we should allow it to blossom. Lord Durin may still be too young to understand, but Lis is close to becoming a youth. Unfamiliar feelings towards boys have begun troubling her thoughts lately. Lord Durin would never look so low in rank for a wife when he grows older. His father would never allow him to do so…."

Dwalin drew back and caressed his chin. "His father wouldn't allow him? His father married an ex-tavern servant who shared a room with whores….and made her Queen of the North."

Loa inhaled sharply and averted her eyes. "Okay fine…maybe our King would allow such a folly to come to pass, but believe me Lord Durin's eyes are too lofty for the likes of my daughter. His whole focus was, is and will be upon the reclaiming of his Dwarrowdelf. That is why he chose to be reborn now from such a powerful man as Oakenshield. Even if his attention ever diverts from Khazad-Dum at some point and turns to women, I doubt my daughter will be one of the candidates. All I want to do is protect her."

Dwalin smiled. "You cannot protect her from everything. You have to allow her to get hurt."

Loa clutched his hand firmly. "Not like that….and not so young."

Dwalin's eyes looked at her ponderingly for several moments. "I cannot change your mind…you are becoming too stubborn."

"Look at her and tell me I am wrong…" Loa urged him.

He placed another soft kiss on her hand. "I will…I promise."

Loa's lips broke in a small smile and Dwalin's eyes locked there. The need to kiss her was so intense that he licked his mouth in anticipation. She looked at his lips and she gasped when he leaned down to touch her. That is when the door opened and Dwalin pulled back so suddenly that his cup got knocked and shattered at the floor.

Durin stood by the door confounded. "Oops sorry…"

Loa stood up and curtsied deeply. "My Lord…" -She muttered- "Forgive us." She couldn't look at him from shame. She was mortified their great forefather almost found them kissing.

Dwalin's face though was scowling. "What happened to knocking?!" He scolded.

"I am sorry uncle." –Durin lowered his eyes sheepishly – "I was searching all over for you. I need you to come with me quickly.

"Whatever for?" Dwalin stood up and began cleaning his trousers.

"Dad is at the field and he's been training the elite division of the royal guards like mad since the break of dawn. They can barely lift their swords and several of them have passed out under the heat of the sun. You need to come and stop him. He doesn't listen to anyone!" Durin sounded worried.

Dwalin's frown deepened. "Where the hell is Fili?"

"Amongst them and barely able to speak. He is the one who send me to find you." Durin tilted his head.

"Mi targê" * Dwalin spat and went to the door.

Loa's eyes looked worried at Dwalin, but she didn't dare express herself in front of Lord Durin. Despite his youth he was disconcerting her.

Durin followed Dwalin eagerly. "Will you help dad?"

Dwalin clasped the Prince's hand and drew him along. "Of course I will. Come!" He commanded and hurried down the passageway.

* * *

 

It didn't take them long to reach the common training grounds close to the river and Dwalin saw at least a hundred men spread all over the area, heaving for breath, sweaty, bloody and barely standing. Several were laying on the ground unconscious, while others were trying to help them.

Thorin was pacing back and forth like a lion in a cage, his whole body drenched in sweat and his hair sticking at his cheeks. He had Orcrist in one hand and whip in the other, hollering commands at the ones who were unlucky enough to still be standing.

Fili was sitting on the ground with his elbows leaning on his knees and his head stooped between his arms. Someone nudged him when Dwalin arrived and he lifted up his head with difficulty. When he saw the King's bodyguard he stood up with renewed courage and walked over to them.

"What the hell happened here?" Dwalin pressed Durin's hand, not wanting to allow the boy approach his father when he was in such a disarray.

"I don't know to be honest. The King stormed the barracks before the bell chimed the first call of the morning for an unexpected inspection. He chose the elite division and brought us out here. I don't know how long we have been fighting each other and him, but most of us are out. Nothing we do satisfies him. Even the best men amongst us are infuriating him. I don't know what is the matter, but someone needs to stop him. He only listens to his wife, Balin and you when he is in such a dark mood. We cannot find the Queen and Balin is after Elrond. Thank Mahal you are here." Fili rubbed his forehead exhausted.

Dwalin's face set and he looked down at Durin. "Take your uncle Fili to Lady Valdis and tell her to take over his recuperation son. Can you do that?"

Durin nodded, but his eyes remained at his father. "Sure, but is dad okay?"

Dwalin smiled at him. "He is stressed with several matters of state and is taking it out on his men. This nothing Thorin hasn't done in the past. I know how to calm him down. Trust me."

Durin's lips formed an uncertain smile and he took Fili's hand. "You coming with me?"

Fili leaned down and scooped Durin in his arms. "No you are coming with me cousin."

Durin giggled. "I am big now! You don't have to pick me up!"

Fili kissed his cheek. "I love carrying you around. Now shall we play a game?"

Durin threw his arms around Fili's shoulders. "Sure, what?"

"I will close my eyes and you will tell me where to go until we reach Lady Valdis' rooms. Deal?" Fili smiled.

Durin's eyes twinkled with delight and he forgot all about his infuriated father. "Yeah, I love that game. Now go straight…"

Fili closed his eyes and followed his command. "I am doing well?"

Durin pulled his braids. "No…I said straight. You are tilting to the left!"

Fili laughed. "Now is that better?"

"Yes!" Durin cried.

Dwalin observed them for a few moments and then walked around the field and began dismissing the soldiers one by one. Nevertheless even though they now had the opportunity to get away from the King's clutches, no one moved. Their eyes remained upon their sovereign, expecting the discharge from him and not his bodyguard. Such was their loyalty, but Thorin was so sucked in by his demons he didn't notice either Dwalin trying to help the guards or his son leading his nephew away. He kept bellowing commands and slashing his whip at the boots of his men oblivious of their distress. He paused only when Dwalin's heavy hand fell on his sweaty shoulder.

"Enough mate…" Dwalin's voice was low.

When Thorin turned Dwalin saw the wilderness in his eyes and instantly knew that his friend was not okay. The soldiers stopped and looked at them with a desperate glimmer of hope in their bloody faces.

"You have been pushing the elite of your army to their limits ever since the break of dawn. Now it is close to sundown. Have you seen the state of your men?" Dwalin continued with a hushed voice. Not allowing the men to understand that he was arguing against their King.

Thorin swallowed heavily.

"Look at them please…" Dwalin urged him.

Thorin turned around and his eyes passed from their bloodshot eyes, their scarred bodies, their broken backs and their trembling thighs. He looked above his shoulder at the ones who were laying wasted near the river shore and at the ones trying to revive them.

"Are you trying to undo your army before Sauron gets a chance to test himself against it?" Dwalin raised his brow.

Thorin's nose flared.

Dwalin's hand tightened on his shoulder. "You are not alone. I am here for you. Allow them to rest and let us talk. Please."

Dwalin was the only one who had a chance of penetrating the iron shields that Thorin had raised ever since he woke up this morning in the mood to destroy something in order to feel less pain about what was happening with Eilin. The King's grip on his sword loosened and his hand fell defeated at his side.

"I know you love your men and you wish for them to be the best trained division of the Northern Alliance, but it is high time you gave them a rest, right?" Dwalin's voice resounded this time loudly. The men looked at each other and despite their dreadful state a few smiles of pride broke here and there accompanied by a couple of hesitantly agreeable nods.

Thorin's forearm muscles flexed.

Dwalin leaned close to him. "Let them go and stay with me. Let us sit on that boulder like we always did after a long day of training when we were younger and talk."

Thorin shook his head, unable to find words.

Dwalin smiled. "Fine, don't talk if you don't want to. Let's just sit there in peace. Okay?"

Thorin's eyes burned through him for a few moments. Then all of a sudden he bellowed "Dismissed!" and slashed the whip close to his dusty boot just for good measure.

A wave of relief rippled through the men field, but none moved. They were still looking expectedly at their King. Waiting for that extra something ….

Dwalin squeezed his shoulder. "Thank you."

Thorin recognized their gazes and gritted his teeth. He then addressed them with a solemn voice. "You did well today. All of you. I am very proud. Go and rest."

The men's eyes glimmered with a loyalty that touched Dwalin's heart and a commitment that was unfortunately not clear to Thorin's hazy vision at that moment. These men would have done everything to please their King. Even die from his vigorous training without a word of defiance. Dwalin pulled Orcrist away from his hand and dropped it to the ground. Then he released the whip from his other palm and pulled him towards the river shore. "Follow me." He urged him quietly.

Thorin did so without feeling obliged to open his mouth in order to offer some explanation for what he did to his best men today. He didn't utter a word as Dwalin led him to the river and helped him wash off the dirt, sweat and blood from his face. When they sat on the aforementioned boulder the guards had already dispersed with various groans and moans of pain. They didn't look like the elite division of the Royal guards that just underwent the King's vigorous training. They looked like blood-spattered soldiers crawling out of a battle, half-dead. Dwalin sighed and his eyes burst with sadness. "What the hell was all that about?" He asked quietly.

"Training." Thorin's voice was unemotional.

"That was not training, that was an overkill." Dwalin rejoined sternly.

"They are supposed to be the best trained soldiers of my army and they cannot handle following my rough drill? How are they supposed to protect my family if they cannot last under my command even for a day? They are growing fat and slow with this life of plenty. Without the constant threat of an attack, they are becoming sluggish." Thorin's eyes fell heavy on him.

"Your men lasted more than they should have. Look at them…they can hardly stand. I don't know what you are looking for in them Thorin, but you cannot have an army of yourself multiplied by the thousands." Dwalin frowned.

Thorin looked towards the river, but the hardness in his eyes didn't relent.

"Besides you don't look so spiffy yourself. You look as if you came out of another showdown with the Pale Orc. How can you expect your men to look better? You are barely able to stand up straight yourself." Dwalin tried to sound teasing.

A ghostly smile appeared on Thorin's lips. "I am better than all of them combined. I would have lasted far longer."

"So would have they if you kept on pushing them, but was it right to do so? Did you notice the devotion in their eyes? They would have done anything to please you, no matter how harmful it was for them. I know you love your men and that something else has driven you to act so roughly towards them. They need to recuperate and so do you. A hard day of training means nothing unless you can sleep it off and build your muscles strong again. You know that better than anybody. Besides most of them left with injuries that need attention. So do you." Dwalin looked at Thorin's body that had several fresh abrasions.

"I am fine."

"Of course you are not." Dwalin looked at the river and crossed his arms.

Thorin glared at him.

"You are not fine. You haven't been fine for several weeks now and it is only getting worse." Dwalin shrugged.

"How did you come to this exceptional conclusion?" Thorin's voice dropped.

Dwalin raised his hand and begun counting his fingers. "From the bickering that has been constantly taking place between you and the Queen, which isn't getting better. From the fact that you lied bluntly to Lord Elrond when he asked you about Dol Guldur. He doesn't know you as well as me. He couldn't distinguish the subtle changes in your face when you insisted that everything was fine. From the fact that you barely appear in the dining halls to eat anymore and you prefer to hide in your study and at the top rampart. Both these places are your hideouts and you only use them so much when you are feeling reclusive. Also from the fact that you are full of suppressed frustration which has built up to such an extent that you almost ruined your best men today without any consideration for their wellbeing, including your beloved nephew Fili…"

At that Thorin's eyes glimmered with fear.

Dwalin stopped him before he had the time to speak. "He is fine, don't worry. Your oldest son led him to Lady Valdis."

"Durin saw all this?" Thorin countenance took a plunge.

"He was here when Fili told him to come find me. So yes, he saw." Dwalin's lips turned down.

Thorin cupped his forehead and closed his eyes. "I never wanted that..."

"I am sure you didn't…." Dwalin said quietly.

It took Thorin several moments to speak. "Was he afraid? Did he tell you anything?"

"Your son is a tough cookie. He was a bit worried clearly, but nothing he couldn't handle. I explained to him that this is how you get when you are troubled by matters of state. He seemed to accept my explanation. He didn't seem so flustered to be honest, but a good talk with him about today won't do any harm." Dwalin advised.

"I will talk to him…." –Thorin hesitated- "I never meant for him to see me like this, I swear."

Dwalin clasped his shoulder. "I know, that is why I worry for you so much. Your distress is making you act out of character."

Thorin kept his eyes closed and his mouth shut, but Dwalin felt the irresolution radiating from him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Dwalin's voice was quiet.

"It's not only one thing troubling me…." Thorin's voice was weak.

Dwalin squeezed his shoulder and looked towards the river. "You know I will not force you to discuss, but you also know I will stay here haunting you quietly until you do…."

Thorin humphed. "I know…"

Dwalin crossed his arms above his knees with a smile. "Then tell me. I am listening and I am not judging."

It took Thorin a lot of deliberation to come to a decision, but when he spoke Dwalin looked up sharply. "No one prepares you…"

"For what?"

"Marriage, children…family obligations…." Thorin continued defeated.

Dwalin looked at his crossed palms quietly.

"They don't tell you that one day all the magic will be gone and replaced with duties that you have-to and must-attend-to. How the ruthless grinding of everyday life, can make you forget what you loved the most in the woman you married. How the constant fear for your children's well-being –which in our case was rather intense because of Rhianaye's problems- would make you drift away from your wife slowly, until you can barely feel her anymore. How all the passion you used to have is now buried in so deep, that you feel frustrated by your inability to show it to her every single day like you used to. They never prepare a man that he can feel neglected when the attention of his wife turns solely to their children. They never tell you about the bitterness that can fester in your heart like a rotten flesh and end up saturating your very soul with its foul essence. How somedays you feel like you are losing the woman you adore to trifles and you cannot do anything to stop the decline to madness or to suspend the distance that is forming between you and her. How it feels so hard to communicate your needs to her from fear that you will be pushed further away." Thorin's voice became more weakened with each sentence.

Dwalin's eyes filled with sadness.

"You are still pursuing Loa romantically. You haven't managed to enter her home and become her official beloved. She is still mourning the death of her husband. You haven't experienced the disintegration that everyday life can cause to a couple especially after children." Thorin continued.

"No, I haven't."

"You are lucky. Sometimes I wish I could return to that night by the river when I first fell in love with Eilin's endearing awkwardness. Before she fell pregnant and the twins came to our lives. Don't get me wrong. I adore my children to death and I would never give them up for anyone….still sometimes I try to imagine how we would have been if we had remained childless….and that must sound ungrateful coming from a man whose worst demon was his imaginary infertility." Thorin smiled bitterly.

"It does sound ungrateful." Dwalin smiled.

"I won't lie to you though…I am thinking about it." Thorin closed his eyes.

"I understand. It is expected for you to try and hold on to those beautiful days. Especially when you are going through such difficult times now." Dwalin looked at him dejectedly.

"I cannot find a way to communicate with her anymore Dwalin. We are fighting for the stupidest reasons and the fact that I still love her more than my life does nothing to appease her like it did in the past. Now I have to prove my devotion to her again and again. Constantly. It is so exhausting not to be taken for granted and being expected to prove your worth all the time. You understand?" Thorin's eyes lifted up to his. He looked absolutely drained.

Dwalin nodded. "I do."

"The only thing I wish is for us to calm down and find ways to communicate our emotions. I cannot handle this blame game anymore. Especially lately….I am at the end of my tether." Thorin exhaled and rubbed his temple.

"What was the last fight about? That scene with Ith at the river shore?" Dwalin frowned.

Thorin nodded.

"Did she bash you around for that kiss?"

"Her anger would have meant little Dwalin. I would have found ways to apologize and make up with her. It was her question that devastated me this time." Thorin muttered.

Dwalin's frowned.

Thorin looked at him long and hard before speaking. "She asked me why I broke up with Siv."

Dwalin inhaled deeply. "Damn…"

Thorin inclined his head. "Apparently Eilin has deducted that I cheated on Siv and that caused our separation. Quite a disturbing conclusion to be made by your wife, isn't it?"

Dwalin's brow creased. "Why don't you tell her the truth then?"

Thorin's eyes found his with renewed fervor. "Because I want her to trust me without me begging her to do so. She should know me well enough to never believe me an infidel. Instead she presses me for the truth because she thinks I cheated on Siv. She thinks I might be prone to repeating myself again…."

Dwalin intervened. "With Ith. I get it."

Thorin closed his eyes and sighed. "I cannot take this anymore. I swear to you I am close to my breaking point."

"I cannot blame you, but I also cannot blame her." Dwalin weighed his words carefully before uttering them.

Thorin looked up sharply.

"Don't give me that look. I understand that you need her to trust you blindingly, but after what she saw at the river shore with Ith I believe she is entitled to some answers. It matters not what questions she makes. She deserves answers. She is your beloved wife, not a stranger. Think clearly." Dwalin spoke with a calm tone, not wanting to aggravate Thorin more.

"She will get the answers she deserves when she proves to me that she trusts me, without me having to verify my innocence!" –Thorin grumbled and when Dwalin made to speak the King lifted his hand and stopped him- "When I met her she declared that she never worked as a whore and that she only shared a room with them at that accursed Inn. I believed her without wishing for her to provide me with any evidence! I admit that my trust only wavered when Myrna's husband brought me her baby belt, but even then I was ready to embrace her despite all that. I wish for her to rise up to the occasion and treat me the way I treated her back then at Hobbiton. With blind trust! I adored her no matter her past and without wishing to have any details about it. I never required for her to reveal to me anything, despite that she decided to do that on her own accord. I demand from her the same honorable treatment! To allow me to decide to reveal my secrets when I am ready, not in order to appease her! I am worth it, don't you think?!" He bellowed with suppressed fury.

Dwalin pulled back and blinked. "More than worth it. Calm down…"

"I will not calm down! She is questioning my integrity and she believes I am worthy of despicable actions. I never questioned her honesty Dwalin! I never sought more proof than her word about everything that happened in her life. I never demanded to know about her rape, her lodgings, her friends, what filth was taking place next to her bed….nothing! I want her to do the same! That is what love is all about! Trusting the person you married. I did that for her in the end, despite that I wavered under that filth's painful words about her loyalty at first. Those accursed moments of weakness passed and my love prevailed. Now the time came for her to trust in me and she is failing royally! That pains me deeply!" Thorin thundered and his cheeks mounted color.

Dwalin swallowed heavily and felt his eyes burning when he saw how much this was affecting his friend.

"I hugged Ith, yes…fine! I kissed her on the brow! Yes! It was not my wisest choice, but I never meant to offend Eilin, just to offer comfort to a pained mother. Did Ith saw my touch as friendly or as something more? I don't care! I don't care about her, but about how Eilin sees me! I want her to trust me to be faithful and deliver for her, like I have trusted her. I pushed Siv away in order to fulfil my family's obligations and make my Kingship as legendary as my father wished it to be. With Eilin I did the exact opposite. I put the needs of my dead forefathers and my people at the back burner for her…I abdicated the bloody throne for her and what do I ask for in turn!? A bit of trust! Wasn't what I did enough proof of how much I love her? Have you seen other Kings ready to chuck their thrones in the name of love?" He snapped.

Dwalin grasped his forearm. "Calm down….please."

"Does she even remember everything I have done for her perchance…?" Thorin's voice emptied to the void suddenly and his eyes drifted to the river as the fire inside was extinguished upon those words.

Dwalin frowned, but held Thorin's forearm tightly.

"I think this distance between us has made her forget Dwalin. That is why she is so quick to judge me capable of disloyalty. That is why she asked me about Siv…." The King continued defeated. Thorin kept shifting from furious to hauntingly empty so quickly that Dwalin felt his skin crawling with apprehension. There was something dreadfully off about his friend.

"Did you tell Eilin how you feel?" Dwalin whispered.

"She's not listening to me. She wants answers….she wants proof of my devotion….as if what I have done already isn't enough….. The fact alone that I wished for her to birth my children was enough proof of my undying love for her." Thorin closed his eyes again and Dwalin saw that his bottom lip was trembling.

"You need to yell your frustrations at her face if necessary." Dwalin frowned.

"I don't have enough strength to do that anymore Dwalin. She will get her answers, when she proves to me that she trusts me blindingly. When she shows me some proof that her love and devotion are still alive. Now it's my turn to become an asshole don't you think?" Thorin's lips curled up with a bitter smile.

Dwalin smirked, but his eyes were full of gloom. "I cannot argue on what you have told me, but can I ask why you haven't told her anything about Siv yet?"

Thorin's face sobered up quickly. "I have never treated anyone worse than Siv. She is my darkest moment. Do you think it is easy to get over the guilt that has been riding me hard after her death? I caused a person I loved to die by sending them away in order to fulfil my father's wishes! I still carry Siv's death in my conscience and that shall never change. It will burden me till death. I don't wish to talk about those days now, any more than I wished to talk about them centuries ago."

Dwalin averted his eyes. "I should have known…. I know how much this guilt has been weighing you down."

Thorin tilted his head. "I don't want to have to explain to Eilin how much I failed Siv."

"Still you must do it someday..." Dwalin looked at him with an intensity that Thorin couldn't avoid.

"I will…when she proves to me her trust. Remember?" Thorin's eyes returned the stare hardheartedly.

Dwalin exhaled and gave him a nod. "Now it makes sense why you are so stressed. Why you are taking out all your frustrations in training."

Thorin pressed his lips quietly.

"Promise me that next time you feel so overwhelmed you will either come and talk to me, or train only with me. Allow your men to take a breather alright? I don't think anyone else apart from me or maybe Dain can take you on when you become this beastly." Dwalin smiled.

Thorin reciprocated, but his smile was grey somehow. "I promise."

"Don't you feel better after talking?" Dwalin searched his eyes.

"A little bit." Thorin looked darkly at his damaged palms.

Dwalin pondered his next words carefully and allowed his friend a moment of recollection. "Still there are more things troubling you, of which you haven't spoken yet …." He let the thought linger.

Thorin grasp it and followed through. "If you are talking about Elrond…"

Dwalin frowned. "Did you hide the truth from him or am I becoming paranoid? …"

Thorin lifted his drowsy eyes to him. "I am suspicious of Dol Guldur also, but I cannot tell you something that I don't yet know. Neither can I tell him."

Dwalin's stare was cautious. "When he asked you if you have seen something out of the ordinary you avoided eye contact…you avoided telling him the truth."

Thorin smirked and pushed himself up. "I like how you think you have mapped out all my reactions…"

"I don't think I have. I am sure I have. I've known you for two centuries, now going on three. There isn't a soul alive, apart from your wife who knows you better than me." Dwalin rebuked and rushed to steady him.

"I sometimes fear she knows me far less than you." Thorin's face turned sour.

Dwalin engaged his elbow when he saw how unsteady Thorin's legs were. "So you didn't lie to Elrond? You don't have any peculiar experiences? Nor dreams…"

Thorin glared at him partially amused. "Eilin talked about my nightmares?"

Dwalin tilted his head.

"Well, if you exclude these dreams, no I have noticed nothing out of the ordinary." His face remained straight through his lies.

"What are those dreams about?" Dwalin frowned.

"My father." Thorin answered flatly.

Dwalin stopped and made him look up. "Thrain?"

Thorin's countenance fell. "I see him still imprisoned and suffering in Dol Guldur…At least it feels like what I am seeing is the dungeons of that accursed place. He is there surrounded by the veil, warning me to keep away. I don't know how to stop these damned dreams. They keep coming to me night after night. They feel so real that I sometimes don't know if I am still sleeping or if what I am seeing is reality. I feel like I am losing my mind. It is so exhausting."

"Do you think that might have something to do with what Elrond said about Sauron's ability to bend the minds of others?" Dwalin scowled at him.

"I don't know …" Thorin's brow clouded. He should have revealed the whispers to his best friend, but he was not ready.

"I worry about you." Dwalin was honest.

"Don't." Thorin tried to reassure him.

"Your issues with Eilin, Sauron's impending revelation, ruling the Northern Alliance and your nightmares…that's too much. I think you need help." Dwalin's face gloomed.

Thorin's pressed his lips. "I will manage, don't doubt me."

"I am not doubting you. I am wishing to help you. Tell me what you want me to do and I shall do it." Dwalin pressed his forearm.

Thorin's glowered down at him. "Then follow me to Dol Guldur."

Dwalin drew back abhorred. "Elrond said that we should do everything to keep you away from that place. I am not about to put you in any danger."

"Either you come with me or I go alone." Thorin warned.

"You did lie to him! You promised that you had no intentions of ever going there." Dwalin rebuked.

"He doesn't need to know how I am ruling my kingdom. As long as I can govern the Northern Alliance he will be satisfied enough to keep away from my private business." Thorin rejoined.

"He came here to warn us of impending danger to you personally. He came to protect you and you are pushing him away. I will not escort you to Dol Guldur and neither will you go there alone. I will tie you down to the throne and place twenty guards around you if needed." Dwalin spat.

Thorin clutched his arm and pulled Dwalin on his face. "He suspects Dol Guldur and he might be right in his assumptions. While staying away from it is the most prudent route for me, from this distance I cannot figure out if there is something going on there. I need to see it up close and personal again to verify that this sudden return of my nightmares is not connected in any way to its black magic. Trust me in this Dwalin. I am not losing my mind. I am just trying to figure out what is going on. I could have gone there alone, but I chose to ask your help. Will you give it to me? I need someone I trust when I get close to these ruins. Will you come with me?" The King's voice was bluntly honest.

Dwalin's jawline flexed. "I will, but the moment I see trouble I am getting you out of there and I won't keep my mouth shut no matter how much you might wish me to do so. That's a warning. I will talk to Elrond myself if anything suspicious befalls my attention and I am doing this for your safety. Understood!?" He pulled Thorin hard and their foreheads touched.

Thorin's lips curled up in a ghostly smile. "Very well, but if everything is normal you will remain silent."

"Very well…" Dwalin closed his eyes with a deep sign of defeat.

The King closed his eyes and he released a trapped breath. "Thank you." The appreciation he felt for Dwalin's devotion couldn't be expressed with words.

* * *

 

"Are you sure that the King is alright?" Dis sounded worried.

Dongar nodded. "Lord Dwalin was with him when I left. He was as exhausted as the rest of us, but not hurt. We looked after him, you know. We'd never let him come to harm."

Dis' face melted and she caressed his hair. "I know. How do you feel?"

Dongar cringed. "Dead…"

"He really wrecked you today, didn't he?" She scowled, feeling annoyed at her brother.

Dongar closed his eyes and propped his head on her shoulder. His hand touched her hip gently. "You have no idea. It was as if the demons of Morgul had taken over his mind."

Dis dabbed the deep scar on his cheek slightly. "There is something very serious going on with him. I hope you can recognize that he didn't intend to hurt you. He loves his men and he thinks very highly of you personally." The protective streak that was always present for her brother flared up as did the one that was blooming for this handsome man who was resting so fatigued in her arms.

Dongar's fingers moved gently on her waist and he pulled her in until her bosom was crushed against his. Then his lips offered soft pecks on her neck that send a wave of goosebumps down her side. "I know and we love our King too. We did everything to please him, but today he didn't seem willing to appreciate any of our efforts, despite how hard we tried."

She slapped his shoulder. "Behave…"

Another hot kiss on her collarbone. "I am in pain and I don't want to behave…" His hand tightened possessively on her waist.

Dis closed her eyes and began enjoying his attentions even though her mind was still troubled about her brother. "I need to talk to him…" She whispered.

Dongar's mouth sailed up to her ear. "Not now…"

"He is disturbed by something grim…." She murmured.

"Me too…" he rebuked.

"You are disturbed by your desires….you silly man!" She smacked him again.

"Mmmm…and is that something bad?" He growled at her ear and made her gasp. Then he pushed her down to the couch and climbed on top of her.

She made herself comfortable and as he buried his head on her neck and allowed his teeth to nibble her soft skin she closed her eyes intending to enjoy every single bit of his loving touches. That is when the door knocked. Dis spat a curse and drew Dongar on her fervently. "Don't answer, they will go away."

"I will not…." He agreed and his hand came up along with the hem of her dress revealing her plump thigh.

Another knock on the door, this time accompanied with a voice. "Are you in?"

Dis exhaled in defeat and rolled her eyes. "Wait…" She grasped his tunic and pushed him back.

Dongar looked up flustered. "Why?" He whispered.

"It's the Queen…!' Dis raised her brow.

Dongar's face went bright red and he pushed away from her, almost toppling over. "Bloody hell…" -he muttered- "Let me fix myself. Don't let her in!"

Dis stood up and checked her braids with a knowing smile. "Try to cover that one up…" She said and pointed at his crotch.

Dongar's fluster spread on his upper chest and he barely had the time to grab his vest and wear it before Dis opened the door.

The Queen marched in defiantly and threw him an inattentive look. "Hello lieutenant."

Dongar bowed deeply and held the hem of his vest tightly in front of his lap. Dis enjoyed so much his embarrassment that her loins ached to see him repeat what he was trying to do to her before, without interruptions this time, so she made sure to relate to him her intentions. "See you later Lieutenant. Don't forget to come around later to bring me the scrolls I have requested from you."

Dongar mumbled something indiscernible, stumbled to the door almost bringing down a small side table along the way and closed it quickly behind him.

Dis chuckled and then touched Eilin's back. "Come in my dear. Take a seat."

"I interrupted something?" Eilin followed Dis at the couch.

"Trifles…now can I get you something to drink?" Dis sat across from her.

"No…no…." Eilin looked at the floor and frowned. She seemed so disconcert and bewildered that Dis forgot all about the bliss that Dongar was going to offer her later on and focused on the Queen with renewed interest.

"What is the matter my dear? You don't look good."

"I asked him about Siv!" Eilin spat and looked up in dismay.

Dis' face lost all its glow slowly. "Wh-what?" She asked stunned.

Eilin clutched her hands so tightly Dis cringed in pain. "I asked Thorin about Siv. I did exactly what you told me not to do. I messed up with my husband so bad that I am not sure I can find a way to make it up to him." Her voice was shaky.

"That is why he destroyed his troops in training today?" Dis' brow clouded.

"What?" It was Eilin's turn to look confused.

"It took me a long time to patch Dongar up and he wasn't the only one. Oin's infirmary was full this afternoon from Thorin's elite royal guards. He took them out training before the break of dawn and allowed their leftovers to crawl back to Erebor only after Dwalin's intervention not long ago." Dis sounded discouraged.

Eilin's eyes burst with fear. "Is Thorin alright?"

Dis patted her hand. "He is fine physically. Emotionally I am not so sure. What the hell possessed you to do such a thing? I warned you about this, didn't I?"

Eilin closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. "Yes."

"And you took care not to hear a single word I told you." Dis rejoined sternly look.

"I was so frustrated with what happened at the river shore. Instead of pouncing on Ith for initiating all this, I decided to take out all my frustrations on my beloved husband and ended up alienating him even more." Eilin's eyes were full of despair.

"If he was ready to speak about Siv he would have done so. If he decided to keep it to himself then you must respect his wishes, not demand answers out of him. What took over you? Do you really believe that Thorin was an infidel that is why Siv broke up with him?" Dis' face hardened.

Eilin didn't want to open her eyes. Her embarrassment didn't allow her to face Dis. "I am such a fool.,..."

" I cannot reveal my brother's secrets for they are sacred to me, but I can assure you that what happened with Siv has hurt him so bad that he kept it a secret from me for one and half centuries. I learned about it when you almost broke up ten years ago and he was beside himself with anguish and grief. He wouldn't have spoken about it under any other circumstances. Thorin didn't break up with Siv because of another woman. Other forces were at play, much more sinister and unexpected…something that still weighs heavily on him. So I understand why your question has hurt him so bad." Dis' voice was austere.

Eilin gritted her teeth. "What came over me to treat him like that…I don't know…"

Dis' countenance mellowed slightly at seeing the Queen's honesty. "Jealousy…crazy possessiveness came over you, because you love him so much and Ith gave you reason. That doesn't excuse your lack of faith in him though."

Eilin's nails dug angrily on her thigh. "I went mad with rage when I saw her pouncing at him. Ever more so when he kissed her brow. All his kisses…are reserved for me and his children. Do I sound crazy to you?"

"You sounds like a very loving woman who took it a step too far with that damned question. I don't blame your anger at what happened, but I will hold you responsible for not listening to me. You made him believe you distrust him. There is nothing worse you could have done with my brother. He has more endurance against adversity than any man I have ever met, but people distrusting him is his archenemy. He lived with honor and uprightness through the centuries. He even destroyed his life because of those qualities in the past ….don't look at me like that…I won't say anything more about Siv. " –Dis warned- "His Kingship was decreed by his immaculate dignity. He was born, raised and grew to the mighty King you see today by those rules so seeing someone he adores suspecting him can destroy his heart."

Eilin's eyes welled and when her eyelids fluttered a few tears rolled down her cheeks. Her fingers twisted passionately around Dis' hand. "How am I ever going to make this right for him?" She whispered with a broken voice.

Dis pressed her lips. "You need to make him understand that your trust has never been shaken. That your question was a mistake."

Eilin swallowed heavily and nodded.

"Then you have to give him some proof of your love and devotion. Something unique, dedicated only to him. Something you'd never do for any other man in the world…" Dis continued.

Eilin frowned. "How about carry his children? More of them…as many as he wants…." She murmured.

Dis smirked and cupped her cheek. "What an affectionate thought. I am sure he'd appreciate the offer, but first you must make amends."

Eilin touched her burning cheeks. "I'd do anything for him."

Dis pulled her hand and placed it between her breasts were her heart was beating. "I forged a sword for my husband even though I always feared the scorching heat of the forging stations. I didn't do a good job, but when he learned I overcame my fear for him and made an effort he burst at the seams with emotion."

Eilin's mouth curled up in a sweet smile. "That was beautiful."

"You can show Thorin your love in many ways. Give him a present you made yourself. Something that will make him feel proud and appreciated. The biggest proof of your love was the children your bore for him there is no denial of that, but maybe a more physical declaration would be appreciated by him especially now?" Dis offered gently.

Eilin's eyes filled with sorrow. "I made such a mess out of things."

Dis clutched her hand. "Yet you have ways to reverse this. Approach him, talk to him. Make him understand that your question was a mistake. Love him, kiss him and show him a concrete, physical proof of your devotion. Our kin values such gestures profoundly. When was the last time you gave him a present?"

Eilin placed her hand over her eyes. "Too long ago. I will do the best I can to fix things…"

"You must, for my brother loves you and your children more than his life. Don't be unfair to him. I understand your insecurities but don't allow them to destroy you and him. He is suffering and that was proven by what happened at the training fields today. He is full of untamed fury and only you can settle that for him. You have ultimate power over the strongest man of the north."

Eilin squeezed her eyes tight. "That terrifies me."

Dis pulled her in for a cuddle that Eilin didn't resist. "It is terrifying, but also absolutely empowering. Use your strength to support him and assist him in the hard tasks he has in front of him. Don't use that forte to dismantle him because of a woman you both barely know."

Eilin nodded and wrapped her arms tightly around Dis. "You are so wise and I am such a fool."

Dis caressed her long red curls. "You are still young. One must take into consideration that you are barely thirty seven now and your rulership has only been tried for a mere decade. Thorin had been born a King and he has been ruling one and half centuries. You need time to learn how to manage your emotions and how to become a strong pillar for your husband. You need to learn how to relate your fears in a gentle manner that conveys your trust, dedication and love for him. You need to learn how to overcome the darkest emotions with his assistance and rise above. You can do it. You have it in you my dear Eilin, you just need time and experience. Situations like these are a good opportunity for you to grow….and I am sure you will do so. I trust in you…"

Eilin allowed herself to weep in Dis' arms. "Thank you."

"I trust in you blindingly and I don't require any reassurance that you are going to do it. I am certain that you will…" Dis' voice was gentle, yet allusive.

Eilin's lips curled up in a knowing smile. "I saw what you did there."

Dis' patted her back. "Good, now do the same to him my darling and everything will be fine. My brother worships you."

"As do I…" Eilin whispered and burrowed in Dis' arms allowing those words to echo in her mind loud and clear.

_Find a concrete way to show him how much you love him….._

That is when she remembered the dove tattoo he had etched on his chest for her….the physical proof of his devotion to her…something that touched her so profoundly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * By my beard


	17. A forgotten decree

 

* * *

The four days that followed that accursed argument Eilin was being tormented by suffocating guilt that she couldn't settle down no matter how many times she tried to convince herself that she had every right to question Thorin about his ex-fiancée. She was highly distrustful of Íth, but should that feeling be extended to her husband? The years she had lived with him had shown her that even though he was a man ready to sacrifice everything for his family, he was also highly secretive about his past. He was never talking much about his relationship with his parents and especially his father or about his younger years in Erebor. Similarly he never revealed anything about his hypothetical infertility until he was forced.

What if his separation with Siv was a similarly tormenting demon that he didn't want to reveal? What if he wasn't ready to talk about those days? Did she have the right to question him about something so personal? Did he have the right to hide things from her? Could she overlook those gnawing questions about his past that she wanted to learn so desperately in order to find answers for the present? Could she blindingly trust him even though Íth was attempting to come closer to him by the day? He had never given Eilin reason to mistrust him in the past so why was it difficult for her to accept that another woman had approached him so much in a –friendly- manner?

After their argument in his office, Thorin withdrew from her a little more with each passing day. He made no attempt to make up with her and that made her bitter. He came to their rooms in the evening, he slept with her, he played with the children, he read them stories and he acted as if nothing was wrong in front of them, but Eilin could detect the darkness in his eyes. The worst part was that she was the one who had created those shadows and now she ached to find a way to undo everything said and done between them.

When they lay in bed at night without the presence of their children, Thorin's bitter coldness became excruciatingly evident. He answered Eilin's questions about his day, but rarely asked about hers and whenever she tried to initiate a deeper conversation he told her that he was too tired to go through all that again. He ended up turning his back and abandoning her to stare at the ceiling while she tried to figure out a way to approach him. She was still annoyed for what happened at the river with Íth, but her need to undo her hurtful words about Siv prevailed.

Unfortunately even though her reactions should have been much nobler and worthy of her honorable husband, her burdened past dag out all those inferior misgivings about men and threw them upon his face. What she had experienced at the Inn played a huge part in her mistrust towards men, in spite of Thorin's impeccable ethics. She knew her husband expected her to raise above her earlier experiences and trust him blindingly, but it was so difficult for her to do so especially when it was the first time that another woman managed to attract his attention. Eilin had seen degradation, she had lived in it for so many years, and she knew the bad side of life. Even though Thorin was as far from all that as one could possibly be, still her mind sometimes tricked her to believe that everything was possible…even for a man who was greater and stood higher than anyone else she had ever met.

Eilin felt completely torn. She wanted to forget everything and bury herself in his arms and at the same time she yearned to learn the ancient secrets that lurked in the darkest corners of his mind. Above all though she wanted to erase the darkness from his beautiful eyes in some manner and that is what she had set out to do this morning as she walked quickly towards the bastions in order to find him. Her need to tell him how much she loved him was overpowering, but she also wanted to settle down the lingering fear that something else was tormenting him. This morning he was once again struggling with some invisible enemy while he slept. He was tossing and turning, sweating and groaning in apparent distress.

She woke up from his heavy breathing and felt her stomach clenching at what she saw. The first thing that came to mind was that night she found him at the balcony panting for breath. He was obviously tortured by nightmares that he was not wishing to share with her. That pained her deeply, because she was the one who pushed him away with her attitude when she should have tried to draw him closer and make him open up.

She kissed his trembling lips and urged him to wake up. She begged him to listen to her voice and come back to her, but he was out cold. The more she was unable to wake him up, the more terrified she became. When after several attempts his hand reached up and his fingers wrapped around her thin wrist she sighed in relief. She cupped his cheek and called him. "My love?"

He opened his eyes and she recognized the fear trapped in them.

"Are you alright?" She whispered.

He closed his eyes and his fingers tightened around her wrist.

"Please tell me that you are alright…" She begged him.

It took him several moments to calm down, but when he reopened his eyes the fear she had seen framed in them before, was now gone. She felt regret at seeing him composed once again. Witnessing his naked fear for a few moments had felt so preciously intimate. It had been a chance to approach him once again after all those painful arguments. She didn't want him to close up and look all collected and unruffled again.

She allowed her lips to smooth over his and her fingers tensed on his bearded jawline. "Tell me what happened. Did you see a nightmare again?" She tried to hold on to him.

He allowed her to fondle his lips briefly before reciprocating gently, which was pleasantly unexpected. "Who told you it was a nightmare?" His voice was calm and she despised that version of him. When their world was in ruins she wanted him to act the part, not distance himself and become calmly isolated. Detachment from his feelings, meant detachment from her too.

She winced deeply disappointed. "That you woke up struggling to breathe, sweaty and almost paralyzed from fright."

He pushed the quilt back and sat up. "I am not in the mood Eilin."

She felt her stomach dropping, but didn't relent. She sat up also and threw her arms around his neck. Then she leaned down and gave a gentle kiss on the warm skin of his collarbone. "Just talk to me please."

"And tell you what? About my past relationships and what caused them to fall apart in order to settle down your fears for the present?" He rebuked.

Eilin felt the knife twisting in her heart, but she gave another kiss on his collarbone, even firmer in order to counter his moodiness. He was partly justified to bash her around, so she endorsed him because she wanted in some manner to make him open up. If anything was more hurtful than their arguments then it was this seclusion of his. She could take brawling with him anytime, but this cold silence was driving her mad. She didn't want to allow him the luxury to pull away from her this morning. Her lips dragged hot on his shoulder. "That was a bit unfair, don't you think? I just asked you about your dream, nothing else."

He remained silent for so long that she felt he was never going to answer. Then his hand came up to clasp her forearm gently. He squeezed it and she felt her heart skirting. "I didn't see a nightmare."

"It looked like you did…" She insisted, because she knew he was lying.

"They were just weird dreams. Nothing else." He added.

She propped her chin on his shoulder. "Do you want me to make you some tea?"

He gave her arm another comforting squeeze that did nothing to settle her down and then left their bed. "No, I must get ready for work."

Eilin sat back and pulled the quilt protectively around her. Her heart felt his cold dismissive waves too painfully. "Can you not stay a while?"

He pulled up his trousers and looked at her above his shoulder. "Why?"

She felt her eyes stinging. "I want to talk to you."

"About what?" He grabbed his tunic angrily.

"About what happened? We need to discuss Thorin…." She rebuked.

"You want to ask me about Siv again?" There was derision in his voice that wounded her deeply.

Her eyes teared. "You didn't deserve what I did to you that day…"

"I cannot do this right now Eilin, I am sorry." His voice sounded indifferent as he wore his boots.

"Don't go…not again. Please stay with me and let us talk. About that damned day you kissed Íth on the brow, about my painful words, about your nightmares, about us, about our relationship….please. Let's just talk." She made another attempt.

"You asked me about Siv. I shall answer all your questions when you prove to me how much you trust me, remember? Until then I have nothing more to say." He rebuked and went to the door.

"Are you leaving me without a kiss again?" Her brows furrowed and a few tears trickled down her nose.

His face settled, his nose flared and his brows met. His fists clenched and he marched up to her with a defiance that made her pull back. He didn't give her a chance though. His strong hand came behind her nape and kept her still as his head dipped down with a dominating manner that caught her unprepared. When his warm lips enfolded hers with his usual unbridled passion she gasped and his tongue found the opportunity to burrow between her lips and engage hers with a sensuality that enthralled her. For a few brief moments she forgot all about their troubles and remembered how much she desired him physically. How easy it would have been for her to shut her mind to every lingering question, if he pushed her down and threw her legs open in order to claim her. It would have not solved their problems but it would have defused some of the harmful energy that was brewing between them. She burnt for his intimacy like crazy despite her broken heart. So she allowed herself to reciprocate his touch with myriads of prayers that he wouldn't pull away. Her hand touched his thick mane and her fingers tunneled through his silver locks, pulling him to her with ever growing hunger.

When after several lustful moments he finally drew back, they were both breathless and he was scowling irritated at how much this kiss had affected him. He made his approach with the intend to give her a lesson not kiss her, so he couldn't understand what happened in between to make him come down on her so hard. He opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't.

"Don't go…" -Her finger tugged his bottom lip- "Lock the kids' door and come back to bed." She whispered.

He felt his throat growing dry. "Are you willing to enjoy the touch of someone you don't trust?" he hissed.

Eilin's heart cried out in anguish. "Don't do that."

"You were the one who started it." He thrust his chin at her.

"And you are trying to finish it?" She murmured.

"I am trying to make you see how much you've hurt me." He rejoined with the same hushed tone.

Another tear trickled down her cheek. "Thorin…" She attempted, but he stood up from the bed with renewed decisiveness.

"I have to go to work. See you later." He said and before she had the chance to tell him anything else, he closed the door behind him.

She fell back in bed with a body that was throbbing awake from his sizzling kiss and a heart that was twitching in pain from his dismissal. This was not good. She had to find a way to undo all this. She had to overcome her own suspicions and deeply rooted fears. She had to raise above, for him and for their children. She loved him beyond count and she had to let him know… She had to make him understand how much she loved him, before he pulled so far away that he'd never be able to hear her calls anymore.

"You know why people shout when they argue?" She muttered to Rhiannon as they were walking up to the top rampart.

"No…" her friend frowned.

"Because they have grown so estranged they are not able to hear each other's pleads any longer." Eilin frowned and felt her eyes stinging.

Rhiannon grasped her arm. "Maybe you should avoid going up there today."

"You are afraid we are going to start arguing again?" Eilin's smile was bitter.

"That's all you've been doing for a while now."

Eilin felt her heart dropping. "I offended him and now I have to make up."

Rhiannon swallowed heavily, but kept silent.

"I believe he would have forgiven anything I threw at him, but my question about Siv was too unbearable to be overlooked. I shouldn't have ever asked him." Eilin felt angry at herself.

"Why is he so unwilling to tell you about her though?" Rhiannon frowned.

"You don't know Thorin." Eilin shook her head and began climbing the grand staircase that led to his favorite parapet.

"I know that any man who loves his wife shouldn't keep secrets from her." Rhiannon followed her quickly.

"Any wife who loves her man shouldn't demand him to reveal his past, if he is unwilling to do so on his own." Eilin rejoined sternly.

Rhiannon looked down silently.

"I might still be mad about what happened with Íth, but I shouldn't allow that anger to blind me!" Eilin's thoughts were mostly meant for herself and Rhiannon was becoming an unwilling witness to her guilt trip.

"You were right to tell him off. You are his Queen and deserve his respect." Rhiannon's brows met decisively.

"Hasn't he given me that perchance?" Eilin retorted.

"By kissing another woman? I know what men can do when they get overpowered by lust." Rhiannon rebuked.

Eilin raised her hand austerely. "Don't try to drag him down to the level of the filth that has mistreated you at the Inn. That is unfair. Don't compare the King of the North with that scum. I do believe that he acted as a friend towards her…"

"Come on…" Rhiannon spat.

Eilin glowered at her. "I believe he acted as a friend towards her! I trust my husband Rhiannon and I did a poor job convincing him of that. Do I trust Íth?"

Rhiannon raised her brow.

"It matters little right now. I must not allow what happened with Íth to blind my feelings for him." Eilin looked at her above her shoulder with renewed determination.

"Eilin…maybe you should be a little suspicious…blind trust towards anyone is unwise." Rhiannon sounded uncertain and taken aback by Eilin's resolve.

"No!" –Eilin barked- "My husband is burdened lately with things that have nothing to do with Íth and I have allowed all our problems to blind me. I will not give him a hard time about that woman anymore. That is final!"

"What is he burdened from?"

"I don't know! How can I know since he isn't tell me anything and how can he tell me when we are in such a mess? Remember when he saw a very disturbing nightmare a week ago? He told me nothing about it, even though I saw a terrified man when I woke up. Thorin never tells me anything that will worry me, I know him. He is very protective towards me."

"Protective about what?"

"I have no idea…yet…" Eilin said decisively.

"You see him as protective, I see him as secretive. You are his wife! Not a stranger! He must share everything with you." her friend reproached.

"Rhiannon you don't know him like I do. You are being unfair right now. If he is reluctant to share his past with me, I must allow him to do so." Eilin's voice was introspective.

Rhiannon crossed her hands with a sigh of defeat. "You are so decided to forgive him for everything, so whatever I tell you will fall on deaf ears."

Eilin gathered her dress and stepped on the landing. "It is not about forgiveness. It is about love, devotion and trust. Exactly as he told me. I have to find out what is troubling him and I won't be able to do that until I start mending what we have broken. I need to do that for him, for me and for the children."

Rhiannon crossed her hands with a gentle smile. "Fine, whatever…."

Eilin's scowl deepened.

Rhiannon raised her hand and stopped her. "For what is worth…. he hasn't met with Lady Íth at all during the last four days. Neither in private or in public. He seems to be avoiding her despite the fact that she is always asking to see him."

Eilin's face lines softened. "I know. I told him to pick up Thrarin from her apartments yesterday and he denied."

"I think it's his way to an apology." Rhiannon wised.

"I think it's his way of declaring that he feels nothing for her. That she is not a menace to me." -Eilin lips curled up in a sweet smile- "And regardless of all the ways he was trying to apologize, I kept making his life hard."

Rhiannon sighed. "What can I say…troubles of a married life. I don't envy you."

"You don't know how stubborn he can be." Eilin rejoined feeling her heart drumming nervously. Maybe she would be able to fix everything for them, if he tried to meet her half way.

"More than you?" Rhiannon's lips turned in a lopsided smile.

Eilin's demeanor broke. "Much more than me, but that is not what troubles me the most."

Rhiannon frowned.

"I fear for his health. I need to find a way to unlock him in order to find out what is wrong. I just hope it's not too late."

"It's never too late. Come on, go to him." Rhiannon pushed her.

Eilin grasped her forearm. "Wish me luck."

Rhiannon smiled encouragingly. "Everything is going to be fine. Go."

-.-

"Have you discussed this daring endeavor with King Thranduil?" Bjarki asked.

"I will not ask his permission for this." Thorin's eyes glared at the horizon.

"You cannot send thousands of troops and stonemasons in his forest, without his permission. Especially concerning a fortress that might be hiding the armies of doom behind its veil." Bjarki tried to reason.

"That is why I am sending the stonemasons there. In order to bring it to the ground and remove it from our vicinity once and for all. That along with any armies of doom that might be hiding behind it." Thorin rebuked.

"That place is under the authority of the white council. Don't you think it'd be good to discuss with them and then flatten it to the ground? It was an elven stronghold to begin with. It belonged to Thranduil's forefathers. It is he who must make the final decision." Bjarki rejoined.

"If you fear the repercussions of messing with this Elfish fort then remove yourself from my sight. I will find other men willing to take over." Thorin spat.

"Well don't forget I am here too my Lord." Gimli's smile was smug under his thick beard.

"Yeah as if we didn't have enough trouble, Gloin had to force your presence to the King repeatedly until he relented." Bjarki spat.

"What did you just say!?" Gimli roared.

Bjarki came up to his face. "You heard me pretty well you stout semicolon!"

"I am going to grab that semicolon and shove it up your…" Gimli spat, but Thorin's heavy voice stopped them both.

"Silence!"

Bjarki's eyes thinned on Gimli and the shorter Dwarf reciprocated without fear. Then after several moments he drew back and looked at Thorin. "Thranduil must know. My primary concern is the stability of our alliance."

"I don't have a problem blowing up Dol Guldur for you right now…Forget this troll's nail-clippings over here! Give me the command of the troops and I will dismantle it for you within a fortnight." Gimli gloated.

Bjarki threw his hands in the air. "I thought you were more sensible than your father, but I was clearly mistaken. You are both reckless beyond words! Can you stop winding up the King?!"

Gimli crossed his arms and glared at him. "Sensible my ass! If our King didn't value this Alliance so much I'd have those Elfish sissies on their knees begging for mercy within two days."

Thorin's mouth formed a lopsided smile. "Set your differences aside and listen to me. Thranduil will delay me. He will wish for a meeting with the White Council and we don't have the time for that…." –his countenance darkened- "We don't have the time to wait for them to make a decision. That fort must be demolished once and for all. It has saturated Mirkwood with its presence far too long. It has festered with the soldiers of darkness for centuries and it has allowed Sauron to have a strong foothold between Khazad-Dum and Mordor. I will not allow him the luxury to reside so close to my kingdom anymore."

Bjarki gave a guarded glance at Gimli who reciprocated. "So you will act on your own without discussing this with the Alliance?"

Thorin crossed his arms and his eyes focused on the horizon. "Yes."

"You are in danger of terminating your good graces with the Elven King." Bjarki warned.

"I might be willing to take those chances." Thorin rejoined heavily.

"Such a big price for what? Those abandoned ruins? There is nothing in them that can threaten our kingdom." Bjarki reproached.

Gimli frowned. "Or is there?"

Thorin didn't reply.

"Is there?" Bjarki repeated and gave a warning look to Gimli who crossed his arms.

Thorin's countenance remained coldly calculative.

Bjarki's eyes clouded. "Allow us a few moments of privacy!" He turned to Gimli.

Gimli bowed to the King. "My Lord, should I leave?"

Thorin inhaled deeply. "Gather every stonemason that we can spare from Erebor and go to Dale to recruit men from there also. When you finish come back to report to me their numbers and bring me the head masons."

Gimli bowed respectfully and set his fist above his heart. "At your orders Sir."

Bjarki kept his eyes on Lord Gloin's foolhardy son until he was engulfed by the shadows of the archway and then turned to Thorin. He approached him and laid a hand on his shoulder. "I will ask again. Is there a reason to risk our precious Alliance with the Elves for those abandoned ruins?"

Thorin swallowed heavily and his brows met crossly.

"We are alone…I've known you since forever. I've seen you through the rise and fall of Erebor, over our days in exile and I have come to admire your rule in the Blue Mountains. I came here to join you because I know what a wise, brave and honorable leader you are. You don't act on instincts when it concerns your people. Your wisdom in politics and diplomacy, despite your misgivings about your abilities when you were younger, have become legendary during your later years as a ruler. What the hell is this now? Throwing caution in the wind and demolishing a fort which doesn't belong to you, without the consent of the white council or a word to someone you have been calling a close friend during the last decade. This is not the Thorin I know….even less is he the King Thorin we have all gotten to know and love." Bjarki said quietly.

Thorin's eyes turned void upon his.

"Why are you acting this hastily, so imprudently and so violently? Is there something in that fort that worries you? Something you are not willing to share with the Seven? Is it something that Balin or Dwalin know about? What is going on?" Bjarki pressed on.

The emptiness in the King's eyes slowly got replaced with a darkness that send chills down Bjarki's spine. "This place seethes with a malevolence that I cannot tolerate close to my children."

Bjarki's head tilted slightly. "Have you seen the malice again that used to hide behind the veil after you cleared the stronghold ten years ago?" His question was quiet, but thundered in the King's ears.

Thorin's eyes darted to his beloved horizon once more. He remained silent.

Bjarki's hand tightened on his shoulder. "Speak to me. Have you felt something from that fort? Did it try to hurt you or the children in any manner? Tell us and we shall protect you. We shall become a shield between you and that place. You know the Seven will never let you come to harm. What is happening? Why are you so dead set to bring it down after a decade of not caring for it?"

"Evil whispers emanate from its walls that haunt my dreams and its wickedness has cast an unrelieved shadow upon my very existence. I cannot stop thinking about it, I cannot stop hearing it speak to me…" Thorin's lips parted and his eyes pooled with unshed tears.

Bjarki frowned. "You are having nightmares about it?" He kept his voice down and looked back at the guards who stood at the flanks of the archway.

"Nightmares, hallucinations or maybe I am simply losing my mind. I have to demolish it…" –Thorin whispered and turned his haunted eyes to his friend- "I cannot give you answers for I have none, this fort though has to be brought to the ground. If left standing it shall not remain idle after Sauron declares himself openly in Mordor. He will use it in order to breed armies of darkness and unleash them to both my kingdom and Thranduil's realm."

"You will use part of our army and a large portion of our builders to demolish something on a –feeling- you are having?" Bjarki murmured in disbelief.

Thorin's hand grasped his forearm with crushing strength. "Not just a feeling….a certainty." He spat.

Bjarki cringed painfully, but didn't pull back. "When you said you heard its whispers and saw its shadow casting over you, what did you mean?"

Thorin paled and pulled back. "The mere idea of its existence is haunting me day and night. I must undo it…before it undoes me."

"Have you talked about this with Balin?" Bjarki looked at the King's face anxiously.

"No and neither shall you. We will not burden a man who is prepared to enter into a panic mode if I sneeze the wrong way. Not without even knowing what is truly ailing me." His voice assumed a discreet tone of warning.

"How about Dwalin?" Bjarki added.

"I will talk to him when I am ready. For the time being I will urge you to remain quiet about all this unless you wish Erebor to learn that its supposedly wise sovereign is probably losing his mind." Thorin's lips curled up in a bitter smile.

Bjarki pressed his bicep tightly. "No one will think that. We will all unite in order to help you overcome this. You have this all wrong."

Thorin's solemn gaze tore through him. "You shall not talk about his until I am ready to speak myself."

Bjarki lowered his eyes hesitantly for several moments and then gave his King a troubled smile. "You are hesitant to speak to Balin about all this, yet you were not to me. Why?"

Thorin's mouth cracked a sad smile. "I love Balin too much to overburden him."

Bjarki raised his brow. "And you care for me too little…"

Thorin's smile turned honestly sweet. "I love you too my friend, but I see you as far more resilient. Besides you just happened to ask the right questions at the right time. For now do me a favor and trust in my judgement even If you think it is clouded."

Bjarki's face lit up. "I trust you with my life, my King."

Thorin's eyes closed, but Bjarki had the opportunity to witness the relief pictured in them. "Thank you."

That is when the guards presented arms.

Bjarki saw the Queen coming and tightened his grip on Thorin's arm. "Please come find me when you feel troubled by all this again. You don't have to go through this alone. The safety of our kingdom relies on your well-being and you don't seem to be all that well."

"I thought you asked me all those questions because you cared for me, not our kingdom." Thorin raised his brow, but his tone was light-hearted.

"It's you that I care mostly about and you know it." Bjarki frowned.

"We shall discuss later." Thorin nodded and pushed him away just as Eilin approached.

Bjarki cleared his throat and bowed deeply. "My beautiful Queen."

Eilin inclined her head. "Lord Bjarki. Did I interrupt anything?"

Bjarki smiled and kissed her hand gallantly. "It is an unspoken rule between all the men of our kingdom that when the monumental beauty of our Queen appears we are to interrupt even our most grave meetings in order to worship her."

Eilin blushed. "Thank you for the compliments my Lord. However the equal splendor of your wife has created myths on its own between the common people."

Thorin's face fell at this happy banter that didn't seem to fit his sulkiness. He turned towards the horizon once more.

Bjarki's face on the contrary lit up. "Hadn't we both been married to the most outstanding people I assure you madam that I would have pursued you to death….and I am not the only one with such a belated wish."

Eilin blushed. "What a charming man you can be."

Bjarki bowed respectfully and averted his eyes. "As you are the spouse of the most valiant man in the kingdom the rest of Erebor has no choice but to weep tears of sorrow for not getting to you quicker than its King."

Eilin's smile was sweet. "Thank you for the array of compliments. Now go to your wife and do the same for her." She commanded softly.

Bjarki grinned. "I shall certainly do that. Good morning your Majesty."

Eilin inclined her head gracefully. "Good morning."

Then he gave a worried look at Thorin's back. "My King." He acknowledged.

Thorin gave him an absent nod without turning around.

Eilin observed Bjarki for a few moments and then looked back at her husband. She felt her stomach dropping at his ever-present coldness. She looked above her shoulder to the guards. "You are dismissed." She commanded.

They bowed, presented arms and climbed down the staircase. Eilin nibbled her bottom lip and crossed her hands in front of her trousers. "Hey handsome." She tried.

Thorin's eyes didn't withdraw from the borders of Mirkwood were they were looming. "Hey beautiful." He whispered dejected.

Eilin's mouth attempted to form a smile, but failed. "Am I bothering you?"

Thorin's head shook gently.

She took a step closer. "You didn't come for breakfast this morning. The kids missed you."

"Did you?" The retort was quick.

Eilin felt her eyes stinging. "More than. I didn't want you to leave this morning if you remember."

Thorin sighed. "Tell the kids I will have lunch with them."

She took another step closer. "You ignored the most important part of what I said. I never wanted you to leave today…yet you did."

He remained silent. He was still sour with her and as it seemed his glumness wouldn't be so easy to turn around.

"I couldn't help but notice…" She tried another approach.

He didn't react.

"That Bjarki still has his beard and braids attached to his face." She added with a lighter tone.

She felt the wave of confusion from him and nibbled her lower lip anxiously. She saw the hesitation as he struggled to understand what she was saying. "What?"

Her next step brought her at a breathing distance from his shoulder. She reached up and clasped it gently. "You said once upon a decade, before I birthed the twins that you'd shave any man who dared to look at me the wrong way. Lord Bjarki praised my beauty with a boldness you would have once reprimanded heavily. Still he walked away with his beard still on. Anything changed from those days?" She teased.

His eyes fell on her lips and her stomach instantly tightened. "Many thing changed, wouldn't you say so?"

Eilin's lips pursed. "Having three children can change a lot of things indeed, but I never thought your former possessiveness would end up taking such a plunge in the depths of apathy. That hurts a lot."

Thorin's brow arched. "Did this take place before or after you decided to shower me with all that mistrust? Let's talk about being hurt then…I am on." His voice was hard.

Her eyes filled with grief. "I didn't come here to fight with you Thorin. I came to try and make amends."

"How?" The hard rebuke.

"I hurt you a lot with that question, didn't I?" Her eyes were searching on him.

His filled up with tears instantly. He turned around quickly and remained silent.

She took firm hold of his shoulder and tried to twist him around. When she found it impossible to do so, she walked in front of him. "Look at me please." She begged.

His eyes drew boringly down to her.

"I shouldn't have asked you about Siv, forgive me." She tried with as much honesty as her heart could produce, hoping it was enough to get through to him.

His eyes remained coldly calculative on hers for several moments. He didn't make a move to pull away from her, neither to embrace her. She supposed that was a small step forward.

"I shouldn't have asked you about something you are clearly not ready to share. My need to tie your past to our present was unfair to you. Whatever happened with Siv has no connection with what is happening now with Íth. You never gave me reason to distrust you and yet I did. I was mistaken."

Thorin's countenance didn't waver.

She made another attempt. She cupped his cheek. "Please don't get so stubborn with me. I am making an effort." She whispered.

"Is your heart behind it?" He rebuked.

She nodded eagerly. "Yes! My heart is chastising me daily for what I did. It won't shut up. It is driving me crazy."

His hard face lines softened if only slightly. "Good for it."

Her lips curled up and she looked at his mouth. Her finger caressed his bottom lip. "Can you forgive me?"

"This is not about forgiveness Eilin. This is about trust. You have to show me that you trust me, remember?" His brow arched once again.

"What if I try my best?" She rejoined with a bashful smile.

His head tilted slightly.

"Will you then show your possessiveness towards me again? Will you shave Bjarki's head in the mere suspicion that he might lust after me even though we both knew he was just being courteous?" Eilin teased.

He remained frozen. Not pulling away from her hand or making an attempt to come closer.

"Come on…." She urged him.

"Do you seriously wish me to shave one of my best friends just to show you my jealousy?" His brows came together in annoyance.

"Why not?" she bit her lower lip and raised her brow.

He humphed and looked away. "Nice attempt." He reproached.

She didn't know if he was serious or not. She couldn't even tell if she was managing a good job out of ensnaring him away from his sulkiness. She decided to try another approach. She released his cheek and her finger traced the back of his hand gently. Then it caressed his wedding ring. "Remember when you decided to pass a decree on men having to wear a wedding ring also?"

His eyes left the horizon and fell on the beautiful golden ring on his hand that she had created for him. His countenance softened. "Yes."

Her fingers wrapped around his palm and held it tightly. "Remember when you had to deal with weeks upon weeks of rioting against this decree after the birth of the twins? That was the first time your people were protesting against a decision of yours."

His lips twitched with the prologues of a smile and her heart skirted with a shy tremor of joy. "I remember."

"That was the first time you disappointed your people after centuries of ruling wisely and it was all done for me, wasn't it?" Eilin whispered and tried to find his eyes.

His azure stare was still on his wedding ring. He gave her a gentle nod and this silent admission from him touched her heart more deeply than any loud declaration he might have uttered.

She lifted up his hand and kissed the back of it, forcing his eyes to engage hers. "Did I ever thank you about that?"

He shook his head.

Her lips drew on his skin and her stomach filled with butterflies. "Did I ever tell you that going against the will of your people was one of the most public declarations of your love for me and that I will treasure it till the day I die?"

Another shake of his head and his eyes brimmed with tears.

"Then I should have done so. I acted rather ungratefully." She whispered on his skin.

The tears that were pooling at the edge of his eyes multiplied and her heart twitched painfully. He remained silent.

"As ungrateful as I must have sounded when I asked you that damned question about Siv. Can you please forget I ever did that? Can you forgive me?" She murmured and her free hand reached up and opened his tunic. Then she placed her palm above the tattoo he had made for her.

His eyes closed and a tear trickled down his nose.

She came on her toes and kissed it away gently. "I don't want to know anything that you are not ready to share. I trust you with my life. Allow me to show it to you." She whispered tenderly.

His lips parted and the hand that was numb at his side came up to touch her waist gently.

She nodded and leaned her forehead on his. "Please, can we make another effort?"

Another soft nod from him and her heart melted.

"I was afraid about Íth, which is why I acted so erratically." She whispered.

"You shouldn't have been." His voice was barely heard.

"I know. I should have trusted you. You haven't approached her at all the past few days." She murmured and gave the back of his hand another kiss.

He shook his head quietly.

"Thank you." Her words caressed his skin.

Another faded nod came from him.

"Will you allow me to show you how much I love you and what you truly mean to me?" She released his tattoo and cupped his cheek.

"Please do." Those words came out as a prayer and made her eyes edge with tears.

Her head bobbed eagerly. "I shall do so immediately."

He swallowed and closed his eyes.

Her chin tilted up until her mouth could capture his and the moment their lips touched he gasped. "I have to go my love." She murmured

His hand tightened around her waist. The first indication that he didn't wish for her to leave. "Now? Why?"

Her heart melted at how vulnerable he looked, "Hey, didn't I just tell you that I will try to make it up for you? That I will prove my love for you?"

His nod was almost imperceptible and his eyes were trapped by her lips.

"So that is what I am going to do. Straight away in fact!" She sounded enthusiastic.

His brows creased in confusion. "And you have to leave in order to do that? You cannot do it right here, exactly as you are now?"

Her head tilted and her eyes twinkled. "You really don't want me to go, do you?"

He shook his head and his other hand came up to clutch her waist.

Eilin nibbled her bottom lip. "This wounded puppy stare is pulling at every string my poor heart owns. You know that don't you?"

His mouth formed a faded smile.

She pecked his lips gently and caressed his bearded jawline. "Still you must give me a chance to do what I have planned out for you, okay?" Her need to soothe down his obvious distress was almost physically painful.

Another gentle nod from him, but no words. Just his mouth reciprocating her touch for the first time timidly.

"Have lunch with the kids and I will see you tonight, do we have a deal?" Her voice was elated now that she knew that she had broken through his shields, even if only slightly. He allowed her to approach him for the first time after almost a week of cold distance. She'd do anything to keep this up with him. Anything.

"Alright…" his deep voice caressed her senses like it always did.

She smiled on his lips. "Are you okay with me going now?" She felt the hesitation from him and her heart contracted.

"Yes." He replied after several moments.

"Do you feel better than you did this morning?" She frowned and caressed the silver locks on his temple. She drew his head up and looked at his face.

"Yes." He didn't open his eyes.

"Do you want to discuss the bad dream that woke you up today?" Eilin tilted her head sideways and offered him a look of adoration.

Another shake of his head. "I didn't have any bad dreams. Go and have fun. We will talk later."

Her frown deepened and she cupped both his cheeks. Their foreheads touched and she kissed the tip of his nose. "This answer makes me want to cancel everything. For some reason it is me now who doesn't want to leave you."

He forced himself to smile. "If we keep this up none of us is going to have anything done today. Go, I have so much work to catch up with and a rather lengthy meeting with the Seven. All is well."

She gave him a gentle nod after several moments of deliberation and then drew him in for a fiery, but brief kiss which he reciprocated wholeheartedly. "Do you want me to bring you something back from Dale?"

"Yourself." The answer was quick and so honest that it made her heart dissolve.

Her countenance lit up. "Always my love."

He leaned his body at the banister and crossed his arms. His mouth formed the first genial smile since forever. "Be careful out there." He offered.

She grinned at him and send him a kiss. "I love you."

He looked at her hopscotching down the staircase quickly and allowed a few moments to pass to make sure that he was totally alone.

Then he covered his face and took several relieved breaths. For the first time in several weeks he felt as if someone lifted up all the weight from his shoulders. If Eilin knew how much she could affect him either towards the light or towards the darkness she would think twice how to word her suspicions to him. She had literally been holding his sanity in the palm of her hands all these days. Now she left him all blithe and bony with the promise to convince him of her remorse and of her love for him. Despite the fact that his mind was screaming not to allow her to hurt him again so soon, his heart had already opened up and was waiting for her proof eagerly.

The only thing he regretted at this moment was her trip to Dale. His whole body was screaming for her to come back and soothe him. She was the only one able to make him feel good so quickly and bad even quicker. Right now bereft as he was of love he yearned to feel her affectionate touch. He was in actual physical pain from all their arguments, but also from those hallucinations that kept tormenting his mind.

The only one able to settle him was Eilin and what she did for him today at this rampart was enough to resuscitate him from an almost comatose state that began from the moment he woke up to another nightmare and ended with the plans for the demolition of Dol Guldur. He turned around and grabbed the stone parapet for support. His eyes zoned out towards the horizon once again and his face slowly lost the partial serenity it had gained by Eilin's devoted approach. He tried to locate the towers of the accursed Elfish fort, but it was impossible. Still his eyes imagined it hiding behind the magical shroud of Mirkwood, like a stone monster that had swallowed his father up whole and was ready to the same to his son and maybe also to him. His decision to annihilate it returned a thousand fold now that he didn't have Eilin's soft presence to slow him down. As the moments rolled by with the invigorating summer breeze blowing his hair above his shoulder the clarity in Thorin's mind got fuzzy once more. He was abruptly overtaken by an image of him kneeling close to one of the ruined bridges of Dol Guldur that day that he checked on it with Aragorn. He saw himself reached out to touch a broken arrow tip which drew blood from his forefinger. He scowled deeply at that sudden memory and looked down at his finger. He rubbed it gently when he noticed a small almost invisible scar there.

_When did that happen?_

He remained totally bewildered caressing that small incision absently as he tried to understand if this memory was real or a figment of his imagination again, yet he couldn't. When he tried to go back to those moments before the whispers entered his mind for the first time and Aragorn brought him back, he couldn't remember being pierced by an ancient arrow forgotten there from battles of long ago. Those moments were blank somehow. Becoming more and more annoyed at the games his mind was playing with him he grumbled a curse and closed his eyes.

He tried to cool down the frustration that was banging at the doors of his mind with menacing intentions. He remembered how soft Eilin's fingers were upon his mouth. How supple were her lips on his, how comforting her words, how gentle her touch. How he felt eager to let himself go in her arms. He just yearned for her to come back and offer him the woman he had been adoring for more than ten years. He wanted Eilin with him, not in Dale, not with her people, nor with their children. He wanted her back here with him, trying to enfold his huge frame with her small body. He wanted her to cure his heart and ease his mind.

Siv had never managed to reach the heights of Eilin's influence over him. Even though his ex-fiancée's death almost killed him and he still carried its guilt, the love he used to have for Siv paled in comparison with the intensity of his emotions for Eilin. Sometimes he felt those unrestrained feelings were a blessing, other times he felt as if they would be his final undoing if he ever lost her. He couldn't imagine himself staying alive if Eilin abandoned him in any way, physical or otherwise. When they were engaging in such ruthless arguments like they did last time, the fear of losing her became real. So when today she tried to show him her love, he drunk thirstily every single word that left her mouth and every touch that came from her hands.

All those thoughts slowly managed to pacify him once more and he was able to regain his composure enough to put those nightmarish images of Dol Guldur to rest, if only for the time being. Trying to suffocate the residues of bitterness that still resided in his heart, he abandoned his beloved rampart and went to find his children.

Maybe he could train Durin in sword fighting or teach Thrarin how to forge. Maybe he could continue teaching Rhianaye how to play the harp and read notes. Maybe he could forget all about Erebor today and his lengthy meeting with the Seven in order to pass some quality time with his children until his wife returned.

Then he hoped wholeheartedly that she would touch him again like she did a few moments ago and allow him to touch her back. To draw heat from her in order to feel warm again during these tremulous times were he seemed to have lost all his felicity as he got entangled in a game he couldn't very well explain, much less win over, with forces he couldn't understand.

* * *

 


	18. My wolf

"How is my precious little Gem?" Thorin's mouth formed a pleased smile.

His daughter inhaled sharply and looked back at him. "Dad you scared the life out of me!" She chastised.

Thorin's brow arched. "Forgive me my beauty. How is training going?"

Lis lowered her sword and eyed the King dejected. She couldn't get out of the nasty mood which was caused by her encounter with Lord Durin and Celebriel the other day. She didn't try to find him after that even though she was his sworn bodyguard. For some reason she felt terribly embarrassed by the way he rejected her. Her youthful mind was not well equipped on how to deal yet with such frustrations, so instead of doing the job that was assigned to her, she preferred to hide.

Or train with Rhianaye….

The Princess shrugged and brandished her sword against her foe. "It would have been more interesting if Lis made an honest effort to fight me, instead of letting me win four times in a row."

Thorin's beautiful eyes turned their attention to his dear protégé. "Is that true? Are you letting her win?"

Lis lowered her eyes. "No…"

Thorin came down to one knee and turned Rhianaye around. Then he began absently grooming her long black hair which were so similar to his. "That doesn't sound very convincing." He eyed Lis.

"Lis never gives me any slack because of my difficulties. I don't know what's wrong with her today." Rhianaye tried to pull away from her father's hands.

"Stand still, your braids are all over the place." -He said quietly and his attention retuned casually to Lis once more- "I am not expecting you to be lenient towards my daughter. She has managed to overcome almost all her former difficulties. It is only a matter of time for her to conquer the few ones that still remain, but even if she doesn't she will find a way around them." He said proudly.

Lis felt her eyes welling. "I am sorry, my Lord. Princess Rhianaye's swordsmanship is truly admirable. I am not being lenient with her, I swear. I am just a little tired today."

Thorin's lips upturned with a satisfied smile. "Try becoming harder with her a little bit okay? I am sure Rhianaye will appreciate the effort despite the weakness of her legs or rather because of it…Training harder will help her atrophied muscles grow. Oin suggests vigorous exercising every day for her. It's not only your job to protect Durin, but help his sister improve."

Lis nodded and bowed. "I will Sir, I promise."

He then turned to Rhianaye "As for you…have I told you lately how full of pride I am of your accomplishments?"

Rhianaye blushed. "No…"

Thorin's smile bloomed. "Well then let me do so now. Durin was born strong and was hasty to conquer every developmental state. It was difficult to keep up with him, but I am glad you never got disappointed and you never gave up. Nature has gifted you with other very valuable assets instead. You may not be as fast or strong as him…."

"Nor as tall…." Rhianaye rolled her eyes.

Thorin chuckled. "Nevertheless your struggles to overcome your original difficulties have made you more resilient, more patient than all of us combined and with unsurpassed empathy for every living being which I respect vastly. As for your academic abilities they are simply unsurpassed. Your tutors always praise your sharpness and you are one of the youngest leaners of the Elder Scrolls who has such a deep understanding of them. You are the brightest mind of our times, I am sure of that!"

Rhianaye bit her lower lip and grinned. "Thanks daddy! I'd love to be tutor one day too!"

Thorin clasped her shoulders and gazed at her seriously. "If you keep this up you will become a brilliant academic. I am counting on you to shape up Durin's crude personality, but also to advise him sensibly when it comes to our Elder Laws. He is going to need your knowledge when he becomes a ruler. Stir him clear out of trouble, okay?"

Rhianaye puffed up proudly. "Of course I will keep him in line dad. Don't worry."

"There goes my beautiful love." -Thorin pulled her in for a hug that Rhianaye instantly reciprocated- "My only wish is for you to be careful of the attention the boys are going to give you, for it is going to become absurdly uncontrollable one day."

Rhianaye kissed his cheek firmly. "Don't worry, I don't care about boys."

Thorin closed his eyes and pulled Rhianaye's head under his chin protectively. "Not yet you don't."

Rhianaye drew back abhorred. "I bet I will never like them."

Thorin cupped her cheek and kissed her brow. "You will like them later on and then you will have to be really careful whom you choose to love back. Listen to me. One wrong choice can ruin your life for centuries. Be aware…" His voice turned a tone gloomier.

"I thought you trusted in my intelligence daddy." Rhianaye rebuked cleverly.

Thorin smiled at her gently. "It's the boys I don't trust."

Rhianaye looked at him seriously. "If I ever stop hating them, then we'll talk about this again." Then she planted a kiss on his cheek.

"Fine." He smiled at her and then turned to Lis. "The same advice goes for you as well young lady…or is it too soon?"

"Maybe the Princess should be careful, but not me." Lis' voice was barely heard.

Thorin's brows formed an inquisitive frown. "Why?"

Rhianaye turned around and rested in her father's arms with a spark of interest in her eyes.

Lis crossed her hands in front of her. "Boys don't see me as a girl." The dissapointment was clear in her voice.

Rhianaye's face dawned with sudden recognition. "Is this about Durin?"

"NO!" Lis thundered and eyeballed Thorin terrified.

Thorin's brow arched.

"I am not alluding to our honorable forefather, Mahal forbid such a foolishness. The Princess has misunderstood me. I was talking about boys in general!" Lis voice was shaking with both fear and the preludes of tears.

Rhianaye's lips twisted. "Okay, fine…calm down."

"Little Gem, do you mind going to the kitchens to help Loa prepare dinner? Mom is in Dale and when she comes back she is going to be exhausted and in need of good food. I am sure Lis' mom will appreciate some help." Thorin offered her a proud-dad smile.

Rhianaye saluted him in a military manner. "Yes Sir."

He looked at her as she hopscotched away from them.

Lis got ready to follow the Princess when Thorin's hand fell on her shoulder. "You know when Rhianaye was born she was full of disabilities, nevertheless I never used that word around her, because I didn't want her to think of herself as disabled."

Lis looked at him attentively.

"It's strange how people think sometimes. They cannot accept that the loins of Thorin Oakenshield could produce anything less than perfect, so when Durin was born everyone rejoiced. Sadly when Rhianaye came out a dark veil befell the kingdom. You remember?" Thorin stood up and looked towards the river.

Lis nodded. "Yes Sir. I was afraid she was going to die."

"All of us were. She had a difficulty attaining even the simple task of breathing." -Thorin's voice turned dark- "Now that you have grown older I can divulge my thoughts to you. I don't know how I sustained during those first terrifying weeks were her life was hanging by a thread."

Lis nodded and followed him as he strolled calmly towards the shore. "I know Sir."

"When she managed to get over that first bump we all thought that was the end of her problems, but unfortunately it was only the beginning. The truth came as a shock to the rest of the kingdom. Thorin Oakenshield had borne a child with various disabilities." His smile was bitter as he crossed his hands behind his back.

"I never cared Sir." Lis was looking at him with unsurpassed loyalty.

He smiled down at her and stopped close to the waters. "I know my sweet girl. Neither did I…." He whispered.

Lis lowered her eyes.

"Nor her mom…or my sister, or her cousin, or her uncles….As a matter of fact the original dissapointment turned into ever-growing admiration when people witnessed how her mom and I never tried to hide her frailties. We never locked her up in some room for the people to forget her or tried to present her to the world as flawless. We embraced what Mahal has given to us in both our children and did the best we could with what we had. So when Durin sat up much earlier than expected we never showed our dissapointment that Rhianaye couldn't do the same. When Durin was already running down the stairs, Rhianaye was barely managing to sit up. When Durin was creating elaborate sentences, Rhianaye was hardly mumbling. However when she managed to say the word cicada it was her that I presented with pride to the Seven and felt as if she has just read to me the latest decree that was on the table. I never hid her disabilities. I laid them out for the whole world to see how my brave little Gem was managing to conquer her problems bravely one by one. Sometimes I feel I gave Rhianaye much more attention than Durin, but in my eyes she was the one who mostly needed our admiration. Durin was born a leader, strong, quick witted, and able to overcome anything he desired. He didn't need more admiration than he already had from an Alliance that was slowly beginning to understand they were in front of the mighty reincarnation of our legendary forefather and their future King….but Rhianaye? Durin's twin should have been born equally strong, quick witted and able, right?"

Lis gave him a feeble nod. "Yes…"

"Nevertheless she wasn't. She was born different….." Thorin gave an absent smile towards the forest.

Lis frowned.

"Notice I said different…not disabled." Thorin's brow arched playfully.

Lis face softened. "Yes…"

"Her mom and I embraced her difficulties and so did the whole world. As time rolled by Rhianaye proved her resilience not only against adversity, but she slowly unfolded all her assets to us. That wouldn't have happened if we rejected her true nature." Thorin continued.

"I know Sir."

"Now she is making me proud every single day and I admire her to the utmost. I cannot tell her enough how special she truly is as a person, but also to me. This brave little girl has embraced her difficulties and has seen them as unique traits upon which she can build her advantages." Thorin said quietly.

Lis nodded. "She's admirable."

"She is not much different than you." Thorin rejoined quickly.

Lis looked up sharply at that.

"All this praise for my daughter was voiced for a reason." Thorin looked down at her softly.

Lis' brow wrinkled. "Why?"

"Because you have difficulties yourself as it seems, which you must learn how to overcome. You must embrace yourself in order to allow the world to do the same, much like Rhianaye did." Thorin raised his brow.

Lis felt her eyes welling.

"You feel insecure towards boys I noticed." Thorin said quietly.

Lis nodded.

"That means that you've started perceiving them as more than friends and that you seek their acceptance." The King's hand landed on her shoulder.

Lis felt tears cascading down her cheeks. "I don't know what is happening to me Sir."

"Young adulthood is galloping towards you like a wild horse." –He smiled wistfully - "It must feel overwhelming and dreadfully confusing."

"Scary." Lis wiped her cheeks.

"Scary as hell…even though the Lis I remember would have never cowered away from this new challenge. Remember when you hid under the axels of the battle carriage?" His brow rounded.

Lis smirked. "Yes."

"The girl I met there was fearless. The one I am seeing in front of me seems full of insecurities." Thorin frowned.

Lis hesitated. "I am different from the other girls Sir. I know it now. I can see it. I am not as pretty, my hair is not as soft. My clothes are not as nice and I am not that clean….How can any boy notice me? How can they see me as a girl? No one does. They all see me as a guard trainee. As Lord Durin's bodyguard."

"Well, you were never the girly girl…" Thorin's gaze was playful.

"See? I know!" Lis' eyes overflowed with tears again.

"So is that bad?" Thorin frowned and squeezed her shoulder tight.

Lis sniffled. "Isn't it?"

"Why?"

Lis was at a loss for words.

"Why is it bad? Why is being different bad? You are the first girl to undergo vigorous training in order to become a soldier. Our women do train in archery and swordsmanship, but not the way you are doing it. You are becoming a professional warrior like the rest of my men and you are not lacking in skill and resilience which is very impressive. What you are doing has never been attempted before in our kin. You are changing the way people think about girls, much like Rhianaye changed the way people thought that my heirs should be. Instead of feeling sad that you are not a girly girl why don't you embrace it?" Thorin's warm and calm tone began soothing down Lis' heart.

"Because I want boys to like me." Lis' honesty was straight as an arrow.

"Then get them to like the real you. Not some dainty, clean and well-groomed girl that has never lifted up Orcrist against a livid Orc." Thorin's brow arched.

Lis snorted. "I remember that."

"The ones who deserve you, will like you for who you truly are inside. For the rebellious, strong-willed girl who loves handling swords, adores archery and riding high horses. The one who doesn't care about nice clothes and is not afraid to get dirty or hurt in order to protect the ones she loves. Your future One will love the brave warrior who hides inside your heart, not the pristine looks you covet so much. Don't wish to be something you are not because no one will accept you if you are the first one to reject yourself. I have seen your assets and I have admired them from day one. Don't you think a worthy young man will finally come along who will see and worship the real you someday too?" Thorin smiled sweetly.

Lis' mouth curled up in the first honest smile. "They will…yes."

"Of course they will. You just have to be true to yourself, not to what you think others want to see in you. Alright?" Thorin squeezed her shoulder.

Lis sniffled and nodded quickly. "Yes Sir. Thank you so much!"

Thorin pulled her in for a hug that she reciprocated eagerly. "Now, wipe that misery from your face and tell me why you are avoiding Durin."

She pulled away and her face filled with embarrassment.

"He told me that you haven't reported to him as was your duty since yesterday." Thorin's voice was calm.

"I didn't want to bother him." Lis didn't dare lift her eyes.

"You are his bodyguard. You are to follow him everywhere but his chambers unless he dismisses you."

Lis swallowed heavily and felt her eyes tearing up.

Thorin's fingers hooked under her chin and lifted her head. She tried to hide herself, but he didn't allow her. "Did he dismiss you? Did he offend you in any manner? I don't want my son to be disrespectful to girls. If he has done anything to hurt you tell me and I will sort it out with him immediately."

Lis shook her head. "No, I just didn't want to bother him, especially now…"

Thorin frowned. "What is so special about now?"

"The Elfish girl is keeping him company all the time. They don't need me to follow them around." She whispered and wiped a few stray tears angrily.

Thorin's head lifted in recognition. "Hmmm….I don't think you would bother them with your presence. He made a new friend, that doesn't mean he mustn't have your protection at all times."

"I don't want to be indiscreet Sir." Lis whispered.

"Then find him and tell him so, because he is rather confused by your disappearance." Thorin continued calmly.

"As you command Sir." She was hushed.

Thorin smiled at her. "That is not a command, but a request."

Lis smiled timidly.

"Alright my lovely?" He whispered and clasped her hand.

Lis nodded quickly. "Yes…"

"Now…" -Thorin lingered- "I remember seeing some rather fresh lemon pies at the kitchen counter not long ago. Seems like your mother outdid herself this time."

Lis face lit up. "Oh, I am so hungry!" She murmured in sudden realization.

"Then of you go." He pushed her away.

She waved at him. "Shall I take some to master Durin?"

Thorin crossed his arms and smiled softly. "I am sure he will appreciate that."

Lis' beamed back to him and then hurried towards the city leaving a very thoughtful Thorin behind who was slowly starting to realize that maybe…just maybe the boy whose attention Lis was trying to draw was Durin indeed. His beautiful eyes twinkled in pleasure at that unexpectedly sweet possibility.

* * *

 

Fili drew his hood lower down his face and pulled Eilin closer to him by the elbow. "I don't think we are as invisible as we had originally planned, despite the fact that we left your royal escort at the entrance of the city."

Eilin's eyes darted around at the worshiping faces of the people who curtsied and bowed for her. "I can see that."

"Look at her."

"She is so beautiful."

"Absolutely mesmerizing."

"The beauty of the north."

"Mom can I touch her vest? It is shinny!"

"Our Queen…."

"Queen Eilin…."

"She has the beauty of elves…."

"And the vigor of the Dwarves."

"Someone inform our King that the Queen of the North is here…."

Whispers of admiration filled the air around her and even though Eilin was used to them back home, here in Dale she felt rather sheepish. Nevertheless her bearing remained composed as she walked amidst the common people of Erebor's moon city. Instead of pulling the elegant hood of her silver coat over her brow, she raised her head and allowed the sun rays to be captured at the deep red color of the long curly locks that were above her shoulder. Her mesmerizing green eyes fell on the humble people of Dale and her lips curled up in a charming smile of honest delight.

Fili noticed. "Maybe it'd be better if we turned back."

"We are too far in now to turn away. Maybe it was a mistake that I never approached this city before. Seeing their loyalty and devotion now makes me feel guilty for abandoning them ever since I became Queen." Eilin spoke with a hushed tone as Fili led her towards the Town Hall.

"Uncle Thorin never abandoned them, so don't worry. He gave more than enough gold and builders to help reconstruct this beautiful city to its former glory and offered its citizens a prosperous life." Fili rejoined.

Eilin looked at the golden bell towers of the Town Hall in the distance and at the clean paved roads. She admired the well build colorful houses with the red roof tops and the busy stores that brimmed with goods of every kind. She looked at the well dressed women that engaged the elbows of proud and strong men and smiled at the happy giggles of the children that hurried between the sturdy benches in order to steal an apple or an orange. She inhaled deeply the clean air that was surging from the cool peak of the Lonely Mountain and felt the happiness and opulence all around her. She never forgot Thorin's descriptions about the desolation Dale's people felt after Smaug attacked their town and how deprived they ended up being after the Dwarves of Erebor abandoned the golden city to be consumed by the shadows of darkness.

These people had only known riches under the protection of the Longbeards in the past and they felt the same thing again now, so it was natural they worshiped not only King Thorin and the thriving life he helped them built again, but also the very ground the Queen's feet were walking upon. "Then maybe it is high time for me to become more accustomed with this city also, just like my husband is." Eilin added with a pleasant smile.

"My Queen do you want to take a look at my fabrics? I have the best silk in the east…meant only to dress the most beautiful woman of the north!" A middle aged saleswoman bowed to the ground and presented an impressive bench full of bright colored fabrics.

Eilin paused and smiled at her. "Are they made by you or are they imported?" Instead of hiding from these people, she decided to allow them to embrace her, despite the fact that she didn't want anyone to know the reason of her visit here today.

"Made by my family. A tradition of centuries my Lady. Here try this…" The woman bowed and showed Eilin a wrapped textile of a soft peach color.

When Eilin touched it, a smile formed on her lips. "That is beautiful…"

"Mulberry silk. The most expensive in the world, but I would give it to your majesty for free…" The woman bowed deeply.

Eilin looked at Fili who shrugged in ignorance and then touched the woman's shoulder. An inhalation of awe resounded across the plaza. "I would love to have a dress made from this. I will send my maiden to purchase several textiles from you tomorrow. Thank you."

The woman took her hand and kissed it. "Such a great honor for my family your Majesty."

"Do you sell only silk?" Eilin drew her hand away gently and crossed her arms calmly in front of her lap.

"No we also have wool, the best linen and fur."

"Imported?"

"The wool and the fur yes from the tribes of the Northmen who hunt in the northern ranges. They bring back the best quality in furs. The linen is ours. It is very soft and preferred for quality undergarments." The woman tried to lead the Queen to check on those fabrics too.

"Keep your enthusiasm for my maidens. I am convinced of the quality of your craft and you shall be paid well for everything." Eilin said gracefully.

"Your Majesty." The woman's bow almost made her touch the ground.

Eilin continued towards the stairs of the Town Hall were the King of Dale was waiting for her patiently. Fili leaned over to her. "Don't you think you overdid it back there? You don't have to indulge them. They have great commerce. In fact they are the trade center of the north."

Eilin patted his hand. "Worry not nephew, I am not indulging them. I loved that silk and I want to make myself and Rhianaye some dresses. Also I'd be stupid not to purchase some high quality linen. The King needs new under-garments."

Fili snorted and pointed at the stairs of the Town Hall. "Too many private details about my uncle. I don't want to know anymore. Now shape up."

Eilin looked up and smiled.

"Your Majesty. It is such an honor." Bard bowed courteously.

She offered him her hand. "The famous Dragonslayer. Nice to see you again."

He came down to one knee and kissed her hand. "I'd prefer to be called by my name, despite the need of my people to bestow on me such an unworthy title."

Eilin squeezed his hand with a soft smile. "Then I must insist that you call me Eilin."

Bard stood up and his eyes sparkled with gratefulness. "I will do the best I can my Lady, but it might be hard for me to use your given name."

Eilin inclined her head. "I understand."

"I see you got re-acquainted with my people." Bard looked content at the plaza which was brimming with life.

Eilin looked at the loving and happy dispositions that were circling the plaza not allowing her rare presence to go unnoticed. "They are so agreeable it would have been a crime to ignore them. I once belonged to the poorest of your kin. I shall not act above them now. I know how to appreciate hard work and loyalty and your people represent the best qualities of both. They have seen their beautiful city singed to ashes by the dragon's fiery breath. They have taken what was left and created Esgaroth, which however poor it managed to sustain its people through the centuries. Now they were given the opportunity to rebuild their golden city and they managed to do so despite mourning their dead. Your people deserve every single drop of happiness they have worked so hard for and coming here made me realize how bravely they have all overcome the adversities."

A wave of appreciation swelled through the crowd.

Bard offered his elbow and the Queen engaged it. "The providence of the Lonely Mountain has not touched just my city, but it has also assisted my people to rebuild Esgaroth. The people of Lake-Town and its master are forever in debt to the great Thorin Oakenshield."

"I am sure my husband is aware of your gratitude." Eilin said kindly.

"Nobody will ever allow King Thorin to forget. If I am properly informed the best fish from Esgaroth are always reserved for your family from the Master himself. He rarely keeps any for his family." Bard looked at her with true admiration.

Eilin laughed and it was as if the whole plaza was allowed to laugh along with her. "Indeed they are bringing over their best catch. Something that my children appreciate deeply. Especially my youngest son who adores fish."

"The great Prince Durin doesn't?" Bard raised his brow.

"He is a meat supporter…." Eilin sounded regretful.

"As any strong warrior should!" -Bard puffed up proudly- "Allow me…" He offered his arm.

Eilin smiled and engaged it. She permitted Bard to lead her up the stairs as the crowd behind them send her off with myriads of blessings.

"I am sure the ones who managed to meet you today and hear your praises will act smugly to the ones who are still in their houses today, oblivious of our illustrious guest." Bard said.

Eilin smiled pleased. "As I will do the same when I return to Erebor. Now tell me, has Prince Fili informed you of the reason for our visit?"

Bard led them past the heavy door of the Town Hall and when it closed behind them Eilin found the silence surrounding them partially relieving. "Of course my Lady and we have everything ready for you."

"Does anybody else knows?" Eilin looked at him worried.

"No, not even my family. I have reserved a room for you close to the dome. It is small, but very quiet and private. No one can peep from the windows as it stands higher than all the buildings surrounding it so your privacy is secured." Bard reassured her.

"Thank you and forgive us for asking you to do so much in such a short notice." Eilin followed him up a circular staircase with golden railings and shiny marble floors.

"Anything for our Queen." Bard tilted his head respectfully.

Eilin inclined her head.

Fili who was following them thoughtfully decided to chime in. "How is Bain?"

Bard looked above his shoulder. "Growing stronger and more stubborn by the day. He is giving me a hard time, but I know I will leave a strong heir to the throne of Dale when I pass over."

Fili clasped his shoulder. "Which thankfully will take a long time."

Bard's lips curled down. "I am human. I don't have the long lifespan of Dwarves. I am already half a century old. I have to be prepared for the inevitable."

Eilin patted his forearm. "I share your fear. As I am half Dwarfish I am not sure I carry the long lifespan of my husband. I don't want to think how heartbroken Thorin will be when I die sooner than him."

"What is this talk about death now? Haven't we all seen enough of it?!" Fili chastised.

Eilin smiled and nodded. "You are right, forgive me."

"Besides we are here for something beautiful. Not to cause ourselves grief with such a grim discussion." Fili didn't relent.

Bard reached a heavy studded door. "I agree. Are you ready my Lady?" He looked at Eilin.

She disengaged his elbow and straightened her vest and coat. Her nod was firm, despite the slight shade of fear that flickered on her beautiful features.

When the door opened they all saw a rather attractive middle-aged dwarrowdam of silver hair and sharp brown eyes. Her forehead had a beautiful geometrical tattoo and Eilin noticed more tattoos peeping out of her sleeves, covering the back of her hands and ending at her fingers. Beautifully drawn branches with foliage and birds were drawn around her upper chest and neck and she didn't doubt more were hiding under her clothing. "Thought you'd never come." She said with a vibrant voice that made Eilin's stomach clench in fear.

Eilin offered her hand. "Your name?"

The woman curtsied deeply and averted her eyes. "Issitholden, your Majesty. It means snow-bourne."

"That is so beautiful." Eilin smiled as the woman grasped her hand firmly and brought it to her lips.

"Thank you. Would you like to come in my Queen?" Issitholden straightened up and looked at her happily.

When Fili saw Eilin's hesitancy he pushed her inside. "Issitholden is the best female tattoo artist of Erebor. Had she been a man the King would have used her for all his tattoos, I promise you that. Many of her male counterparts betray great jealousy of her talents."

Issitholden straightened the chair she had ready for Eilin, but the Queen's eyes fell on the needles she saw arranged in perfect order. "I am given the opportunity to imprint my art to the sacred body of our Queen! This is a true blessing for me."

"And the ultimate terror for me…" Eilin's face was becoming paler by the moment.

Issitholden frowned. "Don't tell me you are afraid of a simple needle my Lady."

Eilin opened her mouth to speak, but then stopped.

"The Queen has never been tattooed before." Fili explained.

"Then a bigger honor is it for me to be the one to steal her virginity….in tattoos of course." Issitholden smiled teasingly.

Eilin guffawed. "Maybe I should reconsider …"

Fili led Eilin towards the armchair that was close to the window with the most ample light. "I went through great lengths to ensure no one from Erebor knows what you are about to do and Bard arranged this just for you. You are not backing away now. You wanted a great gift for my uncle. This is one of the best you can give to him."

Eilin closed her eyes and wiped away the cold sweat that was cascading down her neck. "What if I faint before she even picks up the needles?"

Issitholden engaged her arm and looked up at Fili. "Maybe the Prince and the Dragonslayer should allow us some privacy so you can explain to me what you wish me to do upon your body? That might help with your anxiety."

Fili kept hold of Eilin's hand. "I am not leaving unless she feels ready to be alone."

Eilin nodded and pressed his hand. "Go, I will be fine. I want to do this despite my fear. Your mother said the most precious part of any intimate gift is overcoming your fears in order to give something precious to the one you love."

"My mother is a helpless romantic." Fili grinned.

"Can you please allow us some privacy?" Eilin smiled.

Bard bowed to the ground. "My servants will be outside your door in case you need anything."

"Thank you." Eilin inclined her head.

Fili pulled her in for a hug. "Good luck. I will remain outside also."

Eilin reciprocated his embrace. "I will be fine, don't worry."

Fili looked at her long and hard, before bowing and leaving with Bard. When the door closed behind them Eilin took a few moments to address Issitholden. "If you haven't noticed by now….I am terrified of tattoos."

Issitholden gazed at her with an eloquent smile. "Your Majesty, you are not my first terrified customer, but you are my most illustrious. I have seen many people scared out of their wits during their first time, but all of them returned for more when they get over their reservations."

Eilin rubbed her sweaty palms together. Her heart was palpitating and her stomach was clenching. "I don't doubt that you are an exceptional artist whose skill is highly sought after, but that doesn't settle my fears. As you may have already deducted from the few words that were spoken between me and the Prince what I am doing today is a gift for my beloved husband."

Issitholden bowed deeply. "It is a great honor to create this for you and him. Have you thought of a design yet or do you wish to discuss any ideas?"

Eilin closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. "I think I am going to faint before making it to the chair. Never mind about my ideas."

Issitholden chuckled and served her a glass of wine. "Here, this might help you."

Eilin took it almost greedily and drank it in one go.

Issitholden reached out to steady her. "Hey careful there."

Eilin placed the glass down and nodded at her own chaotic thoughts. She then took off her coat which was followed by her vest and then she began untying the strings of her tunic. "I need to show you what I wish to do and where before I lose all my courage and I end up unconscious on the floor, having done nothing remotely close to a tattoo."

Issitholden smiled and began arranging the clothing the Queen was discarding. When Eilin opened her tunic and remained half naked she looked up at the tattoo artist sheepishly and her arms did little to hide her voluptuous breasts.

Issitholden gave her a respectful look. "I assure you I have seen many naked dwarrowdams, your Majesty. Only a woman can ink another woman."

Eilin swallowed heavily and pulled her hands away from her breasts slowly. When she saw Issitholden's eyes being as calm towards her naked body as they were before, she sighed in relief and straightened her shoulders.

"So where do you envision the tattoo?" Issitholden smiled.

Eilin created an imaginary line. "I want it to start from my heart, circle under my breast and end at my side."

Issitholden raised her brows. "That is a big tattoo. What will it be?"

"A beautiful black wolf with captivating blue eyes…" Eilin whispered.

Issitholden looked up with a new found gleam of interest in her clever eyes. "Oh…I like that. Do you want its tail between your breasts or its muzzle, for it is a hard place for me to draw something so detailed. It will ruin the portrait of the wolf. I think it would be best if we drew its head right under your breast and wrapped its tail around your ribcage. Maybe leave this part empty…" She pointed at Eilin's heart.

Eilin felt her eyes welling. "Draw the wolf lower, but this place won't be empty. I want my husband's inner name inscribed above my heart."

That was the first time Eilin saw real emotion in the woman's eyes. "The King's inner name?" She kneeled down and bowed her head.

Eilin swallowed heavily. "Can you do it?"

Issitholden nodded quickly. "If you are willing to tell me the King's holy name, yes my Lady."

Eilin held her breath for several moments before reaching out and clutching the woman's forearm. "A'zaghu…" She whispered.

Issitholden visibly shuddered and averted her eyes. Then she touched her heart. "May Mahal keep his sacred name a secret for everyone…"

"I want it written in the ancient runes of the Elders. Do you have such knowledge?" Eilin continued.

Issitholden's eyes filled with tears. "I do my Lady, thank you for trusting me."

Eilin nodded gently. "Prince Fili chose you because of you unsurpassed artistry, but also because of your trustworthiness. What takes place today must never be revealed to anyone. Not even your family."

Issitholden kissed her hand fervently. "Never my Queen. I would prefer to die."

Eilin caressed her head. "Then shall we begin before I lose every single thread of my already failing courage?"

Issitholden led Eilin to a couch. "Lay down here my Queen. I will bring over my tools, but be aware that since the tattoo is so big and requires such detailed work I will need you to visit me again."

Eilin who was arranging the pillows, looked up at that. "Can't you finish it today?"

"It will take too long and we will both get exhausted. My hand needs to be steady and I don't want you to suffer. This will need another session, maybe even a third one. It depends on how much pain you can take." Issitholden said and brought over her tools.

Eilin laid back and began shivering from the anxiety that was pooling in her stomach. "Judging by how I feel right now it will probably take more than a week." She murmured dejected.

Issitholden chuckled. "Everything will be alright my Queen and soon you will have a powerful wolf adoring your beautiful body, along with the inner name of our dearly loved King shielding your heart. What a truly loving gift and how privileged am I to see it done."

Eilin's lips curled up in a nervous smile and her fingers clutched the pillows as she tried to tame her fear for him….for her treasured A'zaghu...for her wolf. "Let's begin then…"

* * *

 

It was long after dusk when Eilin came out of the rooms and she was way too exhausted, slightly shivering, but elated beyond words. Fili was there patiently waiting for her and when she and Issitholden gave another rendezvous for tomorrow at the same time the Prince looked confused at Eilin. "You do know that the great summer feast is tomorrow at this hour. You cannot go missing."

Eilin's brow clouded and she nibbled her bottom lip. "Can we do it a little earlier?" She turned to the tattoo artist.

Issitholden bowed deeply. "Of course my lady, but that doesn't guarantee you will be at the feast on time."

"Maybe you should leave it for after the feast?" Fili offered.

Eilin deliberated for several moments. "I have to come again tomorrow. I want this tattoo finished as soon as possible."

"What are you going to tell uncle Thorin? He will be expecting you next to him at the feast without doubt." Fili whispered close to her ear.

"I will handle this. What I am doing is for him and I want to see it done before my heart falters." Eilin pursed her lips.

"Very well." Fili tilted his head, but didn't seem convinced.

Eilin touched her sensitive ribs gently not wanting to aggravate the bruised skin. "Come on, let us leave before Thorin sends off troops to find my whereabouts. I have never gone missing for so long from Erebor."

Fili engaged her elbow and led her down the stairs where Bard was waiting. "And you have to repeat this tomorrow. How are you ever going to hide this from him? He won't be able to touch you at all until this heals or that will ruin the surprise."

Eilin scrounged her lips. "I hate to admit that our arguments lately have made us withdraw physically which at this moment is proving a great advantage."

Fili smiled. "I will pretend like I didn't hear that. I will let you speak with Bard and I will go ready the horses."

Eilin laughed lightly and then turned her attention to the Dragonslayer. "Thank you for offering us your hospitality. Unfortunately we are not done. I will need to come again tomorrow."

"I will have everything ready for you, my Lady." Bard reassured her and engaged her arm.

The streets were far less occupied at this hour and the lanterns twinkled like small stars above the beautifully paved streets. Eilin walked down the steps happily oblivious of a shadow that was lurking behind a column, until it decided to jump in front of her and remove ten years from her life.

"I've finally found you! GODS REJOICE!"

Eilin squeaked and tried to protect her face, but Bard's sword fell instantly on the perpetrator's throat stopping him in place. "Keep your distance old man…" He warned.

Fili rushed over to help Eilin. "Are you hurt?"

She shook her head and tried to see her attacker.

Immediately three guards hurried down the steps and circled a derelict looking Dwarf who was wavering at his feet. "Stand down old man!"

"Let me pass. Let me see my daughter!" The Dwarf cried and tried to get away from his captors who tackled him down again easily.

Those loathed words send a signal of trepidation in Eilin's mind and the hair on her nape stood on end. She pushed Fili away and did the same to Dale's guards in order to come close to this man. Her eyes lost their original shock and slowly became coldly calculative. "What did you just say?" She hissed.

"My Queen maybe you should keep back." Bard suggested and she felt Fili's hands falling protectively around her shoulders.

"Leave him and let's go. He is just another one of those loonies…" Fili grumbled and eyed the Dwarf furiously.

She shook her nephew off. "No, I want to hear what he has to say. Remove your sword Dragonslayer!"

"Eilin, be careful." Fili warned.

She raised her hand with such an authority that Fili drew back. "I have this…"

The Dwarf gazed at her with wild eyes for a few moments before offering a toothless grin at her. "I am your father, don't you recognize me, my love?"

"My father?" Eilin arched her brow.

The Dwarf nodded and scratched his flee bitten hands. "I have been searching for you ever since I abandoned you in Gondor. I knew I would find you one day. Come closer, see my eyes and listen to my voice…."

Eilin's heart sank and a sense of utter sadness overflowed her. "In Gondor?"

"He is one of the city's lunatics my Lady. Don't give him any notice. He was begging in the streets of Esgaroth long before the Longbeards returned to Erebor. I think he was left behind after Smaug attacked the Lonely Mountain. He is an ancient living relic. I remember him ever since I was a child. He is mad and unable to hold any job. Once upon a time he was King Thror's grandfather, Durin's firstborn, Thrain's cousin, Oakenshield's brother and so on. He's been living off the food people give him and he's sleeping in the streets roughly because he doesn't accept help. He is no father of yours." Bard spat angrily.

Eilin's lips turned down and her eyes filled with sadness. "Why haven't you asked for work in Erebor?"

The Dwarf lowered his head between his hands. "Because I was afraid to see you again my child. I knew you would reject me."

She raised her hand in austerity despite the fact that she felt a wave of nausea overcoming her. "Stop it."

Fili raised his brow and crossed his arms.

The Dwarf began rocking back and forth. He was gazing at her lost.

Eilin closed her eyes and used Fili's arm for support. "This is the last thing I wanted to hear….I thought Thorin had secured Erebor to all the impostors."

Fili drew her in and she allowed him to take part of her weight. "Let Bard deal with this scum." He spat.

The wound-riddled body of the Dwarf began shaking. "Help me, my child…."

The combination of the fear she had to sustain until the needle first pierced her skin, the pain of the tattoo which was less than expected but was enhanced towards the end due to the time Issitholden had been working on Eilin's skin and this man's sudden appearance that reminded her of what pained her the most …was enough to make her unsteady on her legs. Nevertheless she didn't allow herself to fold inwards and cry her frustration like she used to. This time she was alone out here without the help of her husband and she was expected to act like a Queen. So she grasped Fili's hand tightly and steadied herself. Then she looked down at the Dwarf coldly. "Can we find a pony for him?" She turned her eyes to Bard.

He looked at her bewildered. "A pony for crazy old Mobrour? What the hell for?"

"He is coming back with us at Erebor." She rebuked flatly.

Fili's frown deepened. "What in the name of Mahal?"

"Allow me…" Her eyes were beseeching on his.

Fili fell silent.

"I itch to dispose of him for pretending to be my father…nevertheless I cannot…" Eilin's jawline flexed.

"When I was a Prince in Khazad-Dum, Durin firstborn son… I never expected to birth any children. I had five if you believe it and two of them were Hobbits! Then came you and your sister Mai who was an Elf and…." Mobrour mumbled.

Eilin winced and tightened her arm on Fili who pulled her in closer.

"I lost of them in the war of Moria…all of them….please help me…"

Eilin gazed at the drool that was trickling down this man's half open mouth. She released Fili's hand and with difficulty kneeled next to this man. She had been raised amidst the filth of that tavern and had slept next to such lunatics all her life. She didn't feel repulsed from this man, but she did feel hurt by his failed attempt to become part of her lineage. However she didn't feel angry at him like she did with all those candidates who were trying to lure her in on purpose. This man didn't have his wits about him when he tried to do the same. "Will you come along with us?"

Mobrour's eyes filled with confusion.

"No Eilin!" Fili scowled.

She looked up at him. "He is just a poor, lost soul, who belongs to our kin. What do you think Thorin would have done, had he seen this man here in such a condition?"

"Thorin, my brother!" Mobrour yelled enthusiastically.

Fili cringed. "Haven't you had enough of all these people?"

Eilin smiled sadly and turned to Mobrour. "You are coming with us. That is my final decision. You will be given a home and some kind of work in Erebor. Dwarves never abandon their kin."

Fili helped her up gently. "No matter how proud I am of you right now I am also hesitant to do your bidding."

Eilin pressed his hand. "Please do. Help me on my horse and come back with him. Our Royal guards that await at the entrance of Dale will see me back to safety. I want this man under the protection of the Mountain."

Fili looked at her for several moments before bowing. "As you command."

"Your kind-heartedness is beyond words my Lady. I will never forget the generosity I witnessed from you today." Bard bowed courteously.

Eilin gave another fleeting glance to Mobrour who was still muttering under his breath. Then her smile widened for Bard. "Shall we meet again tomorrow?"

Bard smiled widely. "Of course we shall be expecting you, my Queen."

Eilin got on her horse and winced as the pain from the left side of her torso flared up. She was in a hurry to get back home to Thorin. She needed to see him so desperately that her heart was aching. She wanted to make sure his mood hadn't declined since her effort to cheer him up this morning, but she also egotistically yearned to draw comfort from his soothing presence after her unexpected encounter with this half mad Dwarf who reminded her of a still open wound that was bleeding every single day.

However for the first time in forever Eilin dealt with this drawback with admirable equanimity and clarity of mind. Maybe it was the half-finished wolf that was adoring her body now as it carried the mighty spirit of her husband that fed her courage….or maybe it was her own mind convincing her that finding a corner to cry, or lashing out to Thorin was not the proper way to deal with her pain.

There were more productive ways to make herself feel better…like seeking out Thorin in order to draw comfort from his presence, hugging her children and thanking her real father for giving her life in order to be able to feel such love for her family, even though he abandoned his family….


	19. Eavesdropping

 

"Calm down Thorin. I told you she is fine." Fili followed the King whose stride was long as he climbed the gold-plated staircase that led to his offices.

Durin was trying to catch up with both of them. He had been training with his father, when Fili came to inform them of what took place in Dale with Eilin.

"Another bloody candidate out of nowhere. It feels as if the universe is trying to undo any kind of balance we are struggling to achieve lately." -Thorin spat and then he turned to his son - "Durin I told you, go find auntie Dis! There is nothing you can do here!"

"No, I want to see if mom is okay!" Durin rebuked angrily.

Thorin halted abruptly and Durin collided with his father's immense frame. "This is not the best time to be stubborn, son! Go find your aunt!" He thundered.

Durin stomped his foot down. "You are always trying to hide things from me! I hate it when you do that! I want to see mom!"

Thorin's expression faltered. "What do you mean I am always hiding things from you?" His voice dropped.

Durin's face paled suddenly and he took a step back. "Nothing."

Thorin raised his hand. "Hey, where do you think you are going?"

"To auntie Dis! That is what you told me to do!" Durin yelled, turned around and hurried towards the staircase before his father could stop him and demand answers.

Thorin exhaled furiously. "What the hell did just happen?"

Fili looked totally bewildered. "I have no clue."

"Wasn't he furiously demanding to see his mom a moment ago?" The King asked momentarily forgetting his need to check on Eilin in view of Durin's odd attitude.

"Yes."

"Then what happened to make him run away as if his breeches were on fire?!" Thorin pointed at the corridor.

Fili rubbed his forehead. "I have no idea. He is more erratic than you sometimes and definitely more stubborn. Now will you calm down please?"

"If I didn't have this bloody candidate to deal with and Eilin's inevitable breakdown, I'd go after him. Make sure you do that for me, please." Thorin grumbled.

"I will go talk with Durin, don't worry. As for that man he is not a real candidate, he is the village lunatic. Bard knew him since he was a kid. They think he was left behind after Smaug's attack." Fili tried to keep up with Thorin's heated stride.

"I don't care! He attacked my wife and spat at her face the very words that can tear us apart. What we both need is to calm down from all this turmoil, not find new reasons to exacerbate our wounds! What came over her to bring him here?" Thorin lifted his chin up defiantly. He was not angry only at this mad old Dwarf, but also towards his wife for dragging him to Erebor. She initiated many heated arguments because Thorin was allowing these people to approach her with a claim to her lineage and when he finally managed to isolate her from the rest of the world, she decided to bring one of them over with no second thoughts.

_What was she thinking?_

After all the tension that had been created between them for this reason Thorin would have expected her to run away from this man, not bring him back home. As he approached his offices his stomach twisted around painfully at what was expecting him at the other side. Usually Eilin came out of such encounters furiously disappointed, angry at the world but most of all towards him for failing to protect her. He had delighted so much in her effort to make up with him this morning that he now shrunk away from opening the door and seeing wrath saturating her beautiful features again.

"Why did I ever let her leave this morning?" He muttered and pushed one of the guards so forcefully away from the door, the man fell over.

Fili's hand landed on his shoulder firmly. "I don't know what you are fearing so much uncle, but Eilin is well. It was no one's fault this man pounced at her out of nowhere. Nor hers for visiting Dale, nor yours for failing to foresee such a meeting, neither Bard's for never expecting the city lunatic to set a trap for the Queen. Sometimes we cannot control fate."

Thorin's eyes fell on him heavily. "Maybe you can't….but I can."

Fili gulped uneasily and removed his hand.

The King threw the door open with a final wave of coldness squeezing his stomach to the point of agony and got prepared for the inevitable impact. Their eyes locked the moment he entered and he froze with his hand on the handle. He searched for the anger in her eyes, for the usual despair in her face. For the coldness of her stance and for the unavoidable need for space.

He saw only warmth emanating from her green eyes and his heart skipped a beat.

"Thorin?" She whispered.

It was as if her soft voice unlocked something in his heart and he felt a surge of spontaneous desire to sweep her in his arms. Without knowing if she was going to push him away, he strode up to her and enclosed her with a craving that was difficult to conceal. He heard her small breathy exclamation of surprise, but didn't relent on his pursue to hold her close from fear that she was going to run away. He forgot all about her question about Siv and her mistrust that had been tormenting him so much the last few days. He forgot his need to punish her and hear her ask for forgiveness. All the need to satisfy his ego retreated in view of his craving to take care of her. When he felt her reciprocating his embrace, he held close to his heart and lifted her off the floor. His large palm covered the back of her head and pulled it protectively under his chin. "Are you alright?" His voice was broken.

"Yes, are you alr…." She tried to reply, but he didn't let her finish.

His fingers stiffened upon her hair and pulled her head up until his mouth could enwrap hers with a kiss that he deepened quickly with a yearning he was unwilling to control in front of the others. Eilin's arms came over his shoulders and she reciprocated with the same longing. Her acceptance made him linger confused for a mere moment before sweeping down to take her again even more enthusiastically.

Balin cleared his throat with a knowing smile and urged Fili to close the door with a nod. Then he turned around and pretended to be very interested in the contents of Thorin's library.

Thorin kissed her until he was out of breath and even then he was reluctant to pull away. When he did his hand kept her head close to his.

Eilin's forefinger caressed his bottom lip. "That tasted so good …I've missed you like crazy…" She whispered.

He gave her a gentle nod. "Me too."

"I thought you would be moody again, like you were this morning. I shouldn't have left you right when I was starting to calm you down, but I had to go. Please forgive me." She murmured.

He closed his eyes and supported his forehead on hers.

"I am so glad that you are not angry at me anymore…" She frowned and cupped his cheek lovingly.

"I am still annoyed as hell with you, but above all I am worried to death. Are you alright? They informed me of what happened…" His breath caressed her face.

She closed her eyes in delight. "I am alright my heart."

He pulled back and his fingers skimmed her cheek gently as his eyes tried to discern her honesty. "Did that man hurt you?"

"No…he is just a poor, tormented soul who doesn't even know where he is at most of the times. I brought him back so we can offer him some work and maybe a home. Is that okay with you?" Her smile so sweet.

"Eilin we have been bickering all this time because these candidates were driving you crazy and I was not doing enough to protect you. Now you are bringing one of them in our doorstep. You are confusing me. I don't know what to do anymore…" Thorin frowned.

"He is not the same as all the others. His first words revealed that he was not fully aware of what he was saying. I cannot condemn him like the ones who created a deliberate plan to deceive us. He is a half mad elder who has no family and no home." Eilin whispered and stroked his cheek lovingly.

Thorin turned to Balin and his brow clouded. "Is that man still here?"

"Yes, I gave him to the care of Oin, so he can check on his health. We are awaiting your orders." Balin turned around and bowed courteously.

"Make sure he is okay and then escort him back to Dale. Tell Bard to keep him away from Erebor…" Thorin barked.

Eilin squeezed his shoulder and drew his head to her gently. "Are you so heartless?"

"Heartless? I am trying to protect you. I am trying to keep my promise to keep all these people away from you. Something that I failed to do once more." He glowered at her.

Eilin smiled at him patiently. "I was the one who forced you to take such severe measures. Now I am here to beg you to reconsider about this man in particular. He is your kin and you've told me that we never abandon our people. He was forgotten in Esgaroth after Smaug's attack. Maybe his family abandoned him, maybe they all died in the attack and he went mad with grief. Maybe he was alone from the start and he didn't care if he lived or died. Who knows what a grim history he carries on his shoulders? He didn't try to deceive me Thorin. He is insane. He has no real control of his actions or his words. I am acting as honorably as you have taught me to act. I am helping our kin."

Balin smiled. "An honorable decision of a praiseworthy Queen."

Thorin's eyes darted to his advisor briefly. Then he gazed at his wife. "You want to help him?"

Eilin nodded. "Yes."

"Despite him pretending to be your father…"

"For a mere moment…yes." The Queen's smile broadened.

Thorin exhaled annoyed and turned to Balin sternly. "When Oin finishes pass the man down to the miners. Tell them to find him a job and a home. If he approaches the Queen again, even by mistake there will be serious consequences. Make sure his half-witted brain understands at least that clearly."

Balin bowed and went to the door. "I will take care of this laddie. Don't worry. My Queen, my deepest respect." The old Dwarf smiled and closed the door.

Eilin felt the stiffness emanating from every single cell in Thorin's body and tried to alleviate the tension by rubbing his shoulder blades. "Thank you for indulging me, my love. Now can you please calm down and maybe kiss me like you did before?"

He looked down at her incredulously.

"Please?" She nibbled her bottom lip.

"I am still angry with you by the way…" He arched his brow, but his fingers were clutching her waist.

"But also very worried about me, don't try to take it back now. You said it!" She raised her finger at him.

He exhaled and closed his eyes. "I thought you were going to be devastated by this turmoil again. I know how much this can hurt you."

Eilin's fingers played with the golden strings of his silken tunic. "I am trying to act more reasonably."

"I can see that."

"Since this morning I have been trying." She whispered and pecked his lips softly.

His whole body shivered at the gentle touch. "I know."

"Am I doing a good job coaxing the anger out of you?" Her playful fingers opened up his tunic and traced his dove tattoo, lingering on the dark hair at the middle of his chest.

"My worry for your wellbeing has done a better job at that." He rebuked.

"That hurt." She scrounged her nose at him.

His shoulders slouched. "Fine. You were not doing so badly this morning."

"Do you want me to continue, exactly where I left off then?" She teased coyly.

He sighed and pursed his lips. "Maybe."

Eilin leaned her palms flat on his chest and looked enchanted at a vein on his neck that was thudding with his heartbeat. "Do you remember me saying how sorry I am for asking about Siv?"

He nodded.

She raised her beautiful eyes to him and the devotion he saw in them touched him deeply. "I mean it Thorin. I am sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

Another breathless nod.

"I don't want to know anything you are not ready to share with me. I trust you with my life….." She murmured delicately.

His heart broke, his throat tightened and his chest welled so fast that he was unable to hide his reaction. He pulled her in with such strength that she yelped happily and buried her face at his collarbone. "That's all I want from you….your trust." He muttered defeated.

"Not my love?" Her fingers tunneled through his hair.

"You are right. I want your love, your devotion, your loyalty, your trust, your desire, your body, your mind, your soul and above all your heart. I want everything from you. I will not settle for half-measures. I will endure through all our arguments, but I will not accept your mistrust ever again." He gasped and felt his head throbbing with a sudden pain that came out of nowhere.

"You have all that and even more. I will never belittle you in this manner again. Forgive my ignorance, but all this happened because of love. Everything I did was just a representation of my jealousy. I love you so much that I dread losing you. Please allow me to fix all this. Allow me to make you smile again." Her eyes flooded with tears.

He gave her an exhausted nod. "Please do so."

Her fingers stroked his forehead gently and her warm lips smoothed over his hot skin. "I will my heart. Thank you for giving us another chance."

"I am still terribly angry though…" His voice was not serious.

"I know." She frowned and placed another firm kiss of reassurance on his temple.

"And it will take time to make me feel better." He continued with the same tone.

"I know…"

"It will take a lot of effort from you …" He lingered.

Eilin's lips curled up and remained gently touching his temple. "I will give it my best…"

"And endless kisses…." He pressed on.

She smiled widely. "Oh really?"

"But I will still be mad." He snorted with an annoyed frown at the persistent pain between his eyes.

"Despite all my kisses?" She raised her brow and her lips flowed smoothly down his bearded cheek until they could imprison his in their softness.

"Depends how many times you are going to kiss me and how well. I might change my mind if I feel that you truly mean it." He teased and she felt her heart elating as the playful Thorin she loved so much was trying to make a shy appearance after so long.

She smiled and her mouth stroked his lovingly. She felt his gasp and the slight trembling of his lips….her heart broke for how bad they had ended up hurting each other and in an instant opened up in order to seize his. Her mouth nibbled his soft lips and her tongue teased him as her fingers drew gentle circles on his jawline. He allowed her to deepen the kiss and she kept her exploration so soft and so sensually slow that Thorin's heart got entranced. His brows met and his countenance stiffened with a mounting tension which could barely be hidden in his handsome face and Eilin delighted at the profound influence that she was having on him.

"I like that…" he murmured and his hand came up demandingly on her ribs, just as his tongue began making a counter attack that made Eilin's stomach tilt upon its axis with anticipation. She was about to tell him how much she had missed him again and even encourage him to do more…much more than this passionate kiss, but his firm fondling on her side made her release an unwilling hiss of pain as the linen rubbed against her sensitive inked skin.

He pulled back slightly out of breath and tried to focus on her face. "Are you okay?"

She threw her arms around his neck and nodded with a honeyed smile. "You have no idea how much."

"Did I hurt you?" He looked at her side suspiciously and pulled back his hand at a safer distance.

She grasped it and led it back to her waist confidently. "Just pulled a muscle when I was teaching archery."

"How about some massage then?" His brow arched and she felt her stomach tensing at the insinuation in his voice. She had missed this Thorin so much.

"Maybe later my love" –she frowned and touched the silver hair on his temple. She wanted to enjoy his coddling so much, yet she didn't want to ruin his surprise. She wanted him to see her tattoo finished and healed and that would need her to devise some cunning scheme to keep his hands away from her body for the time being. However much she hated that she also loved picturing the excitement of his face when he finally saw his gift.

"I am sorry I scared you so much today with that man." She murmured regretfully after a long stretch of comfortable silence.

Thorin exhaled and felt the throbbing on his forehead intensifying. His clutch on her waist tightened. "When Fili told me that someone found you and declared he was your father I didn't know what to do. I feared the reluctant attempt you made this morning to make up would be completely destroyed. I was expecting to see you totally broken and full of despair upon entering and I felt so mad at the possible loss of that small progress between us that I was ready to burn down Erebor from the roots if it meant I was going to appease you."

Eilin leaned her forehead on his temple and felt his heartbeat thudding. "What happened with that poor half-mad soul, wasn't going to diminish my need to make up with you. I told you I will keep on trying until I see you happy again. I have had enough fighting with you Thorin. I cannot take it anymore. I love you too much to see you so broken….I prefer to love you, than be angry at you."

He nodded gently. "Me too."

"You mean the world to me. Never doubt that." Her hushed tone touched his soul.

"You too…I cannot live without you." When he spoke those words with such honesty the unbearably strong emotions in his heart caused his headache to erupt. His fingers curled painfully on her waist and he felt the usual by now surge of warm liquid coming down his nostrils. He drew back and covered his nose with a hiss of pain.

"Thorin what is the matter?!" The affectionate glow on Eilin's countenance got grounded hard and was replaced by instant concern.

He reached out and took a clean cloth. "Nothing." He hurried.

She pulled his hand back with an annoyed frown. "Nothing? You just got a nosebleed, right when you were attesting your undying love to me. I don't know what to make of that…" Her voice was a mixture of teasing anxiety.

"Well, take it as proof of how strong I feel for you." He smiled and emptied himself on his chair.

Eilin humphed and took over the cloth. She inclined his head back and put pressure on his nose. "I've known you for twelve years. I've never seen you get a nosebleed …"

"It is nothing to worry about." Thorin replied.

Eilin forced him to keep his nose up. "Has Oin seen you? What did he say?"

"He doesn't know…"

"I will notify him immediately." She declared and made to leave, but his strong hand wrapped around her waist and forced her to sit on him.

"Let me get up, you grumpy old man. You need to be checked by Oin!" Eilin tried to get released.

"If you stay here a little longer I will get better. Haven't felt you this close in ages. Please remain." He begged her with a weakened voice.

Eilin settled in his arms and kept the pressure on his nose. "When did the nosebleeds start?"

"I don't remember." He exhaled.

"Thorin you are worrying me." She attempted.

"That was the last thing I ever wanted to do, but my nose has a mind of its own apparently. I am sorry." He scowled.

"You sound ridiculous. Who else knows about this?" She pulled back the cloth and tried to make sure the blood-flow was contained.

"Except from you, only Balin." Thorin muttered.

"Dis told me that you had a very rigorous training with the royal guards the other day. Maybe you got hurt somewhere and this is the result?" She scowled and her eyes darted anxiously all over his slightly pale features.

"No. You are making too much of this." He brushed her concern off.

That annoyed her beyond reason. He was not taking his health seriously, but that was not something new to her. "Someone really needs to check on you."

"I need some moments to calm down in your arms. That's all." He rebuked and held her tightly.

"Let me get up and help you back to our rooms. You need to rest, please." The anxiety in her voice didn't go unnoticed by him.

"What I need is to do is rest in your embrace. Please allow me and stop be so strung up. This is nothing." He whispered.

She exhaled and wrapped her arms behind him, pulling his head on her bosom. He settled there and his hot breath scorched her skin sending goosebumps all over her back. "You can rest like this in our bed. Won't that be better?"

"No because I am afraid that something will happen in between that will cause you to draw away from me again." He murmured and his hands clutched her hips possessively.

Eilin's eyes welled quickly.

"Let's just sit like this. I want nothing more…" He said and she complied even though her mind was racing after seeing his nosebleed. Ever since his recuperation from the Battle of the Five Armies he had never fallen sick.

Even though he tried to pass this off as nothing, Eilin wasn't as convinced. Thorin's build was strong and resilient. He was not the type to get nosebleeds, neither did he ever look so exhausted. She remembered that night she found him at the balcony panting for breath from that nightmare. Was all this a coincidence? First his nightmares, now nosebleeds…and who knew what else was happening that he was keeping from her possibly because he didn't wish to worry her.

Every alarm in her mind began ringing simultaneously and even though her hands remained soft on his head and her body a comforting pillar for him, her mind started racing. When she leaned down to kiss his brow, her demeanor shifted as she felt his skin a little too warm for comfort. She placed her hand on it brow and cringed. "Thorin do you have a fever?"

"No, I am just a bit warm from holding you in my arms. You always do that to me." He teased.

Eilin leaned her temple on the top his head and run her fingers around his pointy ear. "Will you allow me to take you to bed? Do you still have work to do?"

"I have a few more things, yes." He exhaled and her ever growing paranoia made her believe that even his breath was a tiny bit warmer than usual.

"Tomorrow is the big summer feast, isn't it? I thought everything was already arranged. What work could you possibly have at this hour?" She frowned.

"The work of a King never ends…"

"That sounded almost miserable…" She noticed.

"Hmmm…." –his rich tone rumbled and her stomach coiled in response- "Have you ever wondered why we ended up being in such privileged positions amongst our kin?"

She frowned and her fingers traced his brows. "You mean becoming rulers?"

He nodded.

She laughed and placed a gentle kiss on his proud nose. "That's an easy question. I stumbled clumsily upon your golden path and tried to avoid the splendor that surrounded you lest I went blind. However you somehow managed to see the real me hiding behind that hood and apparently you liked it. Then you took my hand in yours …..and offered me the world."

He smiled and his arms tensed around her waist. He pulled her down and pecked her lips gently. "I didn't just like you. I loved you from the first moment."

Her breath hitched and her eyes teared up. "Me too."

He swallowed heavily and his finger traced her ginger well-formed brows. "How about me though. Why did I end up here? Why not someone else?"

Her vibrant green eyes shadowed. "You sound so confused about a fate that has been bestowed on you prior to your birth."

"Not confused, merely inquisitive." He corrected.

"Why so?" She looked at him seriously.

"I want to understand why I was destined to sit under the Arkenstone and rule the North." His eyes gazed at her lovingly.

"Because you have an amazing talent in politics and diplomacy. Because you are an incredible monarch whom your kin adores. Because your bravery is second to none and your courage in battle legendary. Because you are the heir of Durin and father of his reincarnation." She rejoined with a determination that softened his heart.

"I am not talking about my accomplishments." He shook his head.

Eilin frowned. "I don't understand."

"Why was I Thrain's firstborn? Why wasn't Frerin born first? Who makes those choices?" His voice was deeply thoughtful.

"That is pure luck I guess." She frowned.

"Exactly my point." –He nodded- "I am here because of sheer luck…"

"Being first-born was lucky, but everything else was hard work from you." Eilin looked at him confidently.

"I know, but the beginning of my story nags me. That small bit of luck that landed me here…. makes me paranoid sometimes."

Her frown looked confused. "Why paranoid?"

"Anyone in a similar position as mine, who holds in his hands the fate of so many people is destined to become paranoid once in a while about the reasons he is in this position in the first place." He explained quietly.

"You sound regretful of being born a ruler…" She whispered.

"It's not easy Eilin…" His voice dropped.

Her soft nod was accompanied by a smile full of empathy. "It can become overwhelming, I know."

"Anyone is allowed to make a mistake, but am I? A single mistake from me can destroy Seven Kingdoms and the biggest Alliance of Middle Earth in the blink of an eye. I am under constant scrutiny and I am carrying upon my shoulders the fate of millions. Sometimes I feel like I am cracking under the surface due to the pressure. I have been raised to rule, but believe me it is not something I would have chosen had I been given the chance." He said quietly.

Eilin's forefinger caressed under his earlobe. "You would have given up the throne?"

He smiled. "I have done so already."

"I know…for me…" Her eyes teared up.

"More than once…." He added.

Her lips parted and her brow clouded. "What?"

"Once upon another lifetime I tried to give it up to Frerin, but I was denied …" His voice dropped and he closed his eyes.

"Why?" Her voice was barely heard.

His lips twitched and his fingers gripped her forearm. He felt in such need to reveal why he had been willing to give up the throne for Siv in the past, much like he did with Eilin ten years ago. He wanted to tell her exactly why he broke up with Siv and everything that took place before and after, but the fear of her judgment stopped him. His own shame and guilt made the words come to such a violent standstill that his body involuntarily shook and she felt it.

"Hey, you alright?" Her brows furrowed.

"Yeah…" He murmured.

"I have a feeling you were almost ready to tell me something important." She said softly.

He drew her in and leaned his head on her shoulder. "Almost…"

She kissed the wavy locks at the side of his head. "Not ready yet?"

He shook his head. "No."

Another tender kiss from her soft lips. "It's okay."

A long sign left his chest. "Thank you my treasure."

Her lips lingered above his bearded cheek. "Whenever you feel ready, I will be here to listen." She reassured him.

His brow wrinkled and his lips instantly came alive when they felt her softness enfolding him. He reciprocated her gentle kiss breathlessly for a few moments before resting on her shoulder once more. Her fingers tunneled through his thick mane massaging his head for a long time and allowing herself to settle down from the thoughts that his words had awoken in her.

Nevertheless, when she felt his lips nibbling her prickly skin her stomach quickly twist up in tight knots and a wave of heat cascaded down her back making her forget his near confession. One of his hands pulled her in by the waist and the other cupped the back of her head as his lips dragged hot and firm from her neck up to her chin where he allowed his teeth to give her a gentle love bite. She inhaled sharply and that is when he pulled back and gave her a sultry look that send her heart racing. She leaned closer to him involuntarily yearning to be enfolded by his alluring presence and she implored inwards for him to take over.

"I have missed you so much I am in pain." He whispered.

"Me too…." She nodded readily.

He looked at her long and hard, delighting in the beauty of her eyes, at the perfection of her porcelain skin and at the plumpness of her pink lips and his heart raced at the intensity of her gaze. When he swept down to kiss her with a swift greediness that she wasn't expecting, the world quickly evaporated in a grey cloud of nothingness and only the soft sensations of his wet lips, the warmth of his breath and the taste of his tongue that had an undertone of tobacco were there to engulf all her senses. Her chest heaved under his sensual invasion and her stomach surged with heat that dripped down to her core almost upon first touch. The way with which he could still control her pleasure was so definitive that she didn't want to pull away in order to check his nose again for any bleeding.

She didn't care about anything else, than what his mouth was unfolding to her and how his tongue was twirling fervidly around hers. She was unable to stop the soft mewls that escaped her throat when his teeth captured her bottom lip and his hand came up to cup her breast demandingly. She simply lay boneless in his arms, willing to allow him to do to her anything he wished as long as he played with her senses in this tempting manner. Her hand came over his and pressed it on her breast. "I want you like mad." She decided to voice what she was already showing him with her body.

"Me too." His voice was so husky that Eilin shivered at the promises it hid behind that tone.

So she permitted herself to be carried away by the wet heat that was starting to pool in her loins. An indication that she was longing for them to become very intimate right here upon his desk and forget about everything. Nothing would have been able to stop her from pursuing that dream tonight, but when his hand left the back of her head and came under her armpit, close to her new tattoo her whole body tightened like a bow and she remembered his half-finished present with a failing sense of regret….once more….

With one last gentle kiss under her earlobe he pulled back and looked at her eyes. "Is the pain so bad?"

She exhaled and pushed his hand back with a frown of regret, only then realizing that she couldn't allow him to offer her intimacy, unless she did it without removing her dress. Something that she would have been okay with, but would have brought up questions from him, especially since he seemed to give particular care to her juicy breasts during each coupling. He would settle with her keeping her dress on, but he'd want to see her proud twin peaks and his inner name was inked between them, half finished. She had to find a way to ground their arousal to her utter frustration without offending him or revealing her gift for him. "Yes…whenever I move I feel like a knife is stabbing me."

He swallowed heavily and tried to caress her side. "I am sorry."

She kissed his mouth gently and then caressed his jawline. "I think we should allow it a few days to heal before going wild."

His brow arched. "Did you just floor my advances for a pulled muscle?"

She felt her stomach dropping. "No…no…it is just…"

His finger touched her lips. "I am just joking. I have no problem."

She exhaled and leaned her forehead to his. "Are you sure?"

A soft nod was her answer.

She inhaled deeply and allowed them a few moments to settle down from the heat that still emanated from the aroused bodies. Then she leaned down to kiss the soft skin of his neck. "Do you mind if I come a bit late in the feast tomorrow?"

His brow creased. "Well, the King expects to be seen alongside the Queen. What is so important to keep you away from such a big celebration?"

She cleared her throat. "Just some appointments I have in Dale. I won't go missing, I promise. I will just be a little delayed that is all."

"Appointments?" He pulled back in order to see her and his eyes were demanding an answer.

Her features softened. "I chose some very expensive fabrics and they have to take my measurements for a few new dresses which I am sure you are going to enjoy tearing apart."

His brow arched and he humphed indignantly. "Is that your gift to me? Your surprise?"

She began toying with the strings of his tunic. "I know how some particularly revealing dresses can over excite you and I want to give you that. Am I doing wrong?"

His fingers drew small circles on her bicep. "Well, I was expecting something more intimate to be quite honest."

"Oh believe me you will yearn to be intimate with me when you see those dresses. They are scantily beyond count and not meant to be worn in public." She nibbled her bottom lip.

"That sounds rather enticing…." His voice turned husky.

"See, I knew you'd like my surprise!" She beamed.

"Although it's not a surprise anymore…" He sounded reproachful.

"I had to reveal what I was doing in Dale or you'd go crazy, right?" She teased.

"Pretty much. So can't this dress appointment be rearranged for the day after?" He scowled.

Her fingers found their way at the wrinkles between his brows and tried to erase them. "The seamstress which is a person of great loyalty and confidentiality will be in Dale for the next four days and then she departs for her village in the west. I have to finish before she goes. I don't want to entrust such garments to anybody else."

"I see." He sounded gloomy.

She crossed her arms on his chest and leaned her chin above them. "I will just be a bit late, I won't go totally missing. Don't get mad at me…"

He exhaled and kissed her brow. " Do what you wish…besides I cannot wait to see those dresses you promised."

"And tear them to pieces…before you have your filthy ways with me. I cannot wait for that part of the deal." She added playfully.

"Me neither." He gave her a dazzling smile that she delighted in.

"Thank you. I love you." She whispered and pulled herself up until her lips were ghosting his.

"I love you too." He murmured and kissed her gently.

They cuddled and caressed each other for a long time and neither made an attempt to get up and break the serenity of those moments.

It was only when she felt him dozing off that she pulled back with a frown of concern remembering his bloody nose. "Alright enough, come on. You look absolutely drained. You are going to take a bath and go to sleep."

"Before we go anywhere make sure you find Durin. He was really worried for you before. He needs a mom hug desperately no matter his need to appear all grown up, collected and independent." He rubbed her back tenderly.

She beamed at him. "My little boy wants mommy time? I am all for it."

"Good." He closed his eyes and laid his head back.

She stayed in his arms for as long as he wished her, but until the moment she managed to lead him away from the office and at the hot springs she couldn't calm down the worry that was eating up her stomach. She forgot all about her half-finished tattoo which she longed so much to show him and got a new focus upon his health….or possible lack thereof.

Then she led him back to their rooms and only when she touched the coolness of his skin did she feel a small wave of relief. When he began snoring almost straight away, her lips checked his forehead. She remained next to him caressing his back, his long wavy hair and his jawline for a long time after sleep drew him in. Only then was her heart settled enough to allow her to visit the children's bedroom and stay with Durin especially, trying to calm him down until they all fell asleep too. As she stayed above her oldest son like an angel, her mind kept returning to the possibility of an ill Thorin and her logic kept pushing that thought away as something totally improbable.

Her husband never got sick….

Dwarves never fell ill…

…ever.

* * *

 

Aragorn threw a playful glance at Arwen whose long dark hair was flowing along with the fresh summer breeze. "Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?" He whispered.

"Many times, but lately you are not reminding me so often." She noticed with scrounged lips.

"How can I? I barely have enough time to sleep." He frowned and looked at the field.

She raised her brow lightheartedly "Well, we supposedly stayed here to get some privacy, and instead we ended up baby-sitting the King's children."

Aragorn chuckled. "That should have sounded annoyed, but your tone was rather happy."

Arwen lips formed a sweet smile. "Look at them. Especially the youngest son is a treat." Her eyes turned to Tharin who was trying to follow Durin's big horse as it trotted around the field.

Aragorn settled back and crossed his hands on the saddle. "Well the mighty Durin is not. He is a handful. "

Arwen smiled brightened. "Don't be ungrateful Elessar. Life has a way of bringing together the greatest of men. For everything in life, there is a purpose."

Aragorn's smile melted. "You believe in fate too much. I don't."

"Fate brought you in my path." Her eyes turned to him searchingly.

He looked back at her. "We are the ones controlling our fate."

She smiled at him in retrospection. "Allow me to disagree."

Aragorn reached out and held her hand. "You know I'd never change these beautiful moments we are having here, even if we ended up working as baby sitters."

She laughed lightly. "I wouldn't either. I adore spending time with you and these children. Besides don't forget Celebriel who is absolutely charmed by the King's son. No one would be able to tear her away from Erebor now and my brother doesn't want to be around the Longbeards. So I am happy to step in and take care of her. We may have fewer personal moments, but believe me I am not in a hurry to return to the Elven realm and much less do I wish to go back to Rivendell. I want to stay up here as long as my father allows us."

"Then so we shall…." He drew her hand up and gave a soft kiss at her palm.

"Don't forget how beautiful tomorrow's feast will probably be. We shall have some nice time then. Have you seen how intensely they are preparing down at the great valley next to the river?" Arwen looked back at the great commotion that was taking place with hundreds of people coming and going, carrying chairs, tables, wood for the fire pits and heavy decorations. Others were cleaning the area and arranging the furniture where the major fire pits were going to be. Others were fixing the boats that were going to hold up the water garlands and the rest were helping wherever they could. The whole city was in great commotion for tomorrow and those who would be unable to join the special feast outside, were going to celebrate in the four major caverns, in the mines and in their homes. Tomorrow evening the golden city was celebrating the summer's peak and the Elven Realm was going to join in with the presence of Arwen and Aragorn as well as her father and his escort. It was going to be a day of music, plenty of food, rivers of ale, singing, dancing, and rejoicing in the beautiful weather. Everything was going to come in abundance, but above all the Dwarven ability to drink, sing, dance and be as vulgar and obnoxious as possible. Something that Aragorn especially was looking forward to.

"I cannot wait for that…believe me." Aragorn's eyes twinkled.

Arwen's smile brightened. "It's the drinking you are looking forward to."

He kissed her hand firmly again. "Maybe also some intimate times with you?"

Arwen's smile turned bashful. "I'd like that." She whispered and the children's voices drew their attention.

"I bet you cannot jump this obstacle as well as Lis did." Rhianaye dared her older brother who had been moody for several days now with today taking the prize. She hadn't been able to draw his attention ever since they woke up. He seemed drawn in on himself, always scowling at his thoughts and snapping at her every question. She wished to provoke him out of this mood in some manner and she found out the worst way to do it. A challenge…

Lis looked above her shoulder. "No princess, don't challenge him. This obstacle is too high for his horse." She sounded worried.

Durin raised his brow. "For my horse it might be, but I bet it won't be for one of Elrond's beasts." He alighted quickly and approached Arwen's horse.

Arwen threw a guarded look at Aragorn.

"Can I borrow your horse for a while?" Durin pointed at her snow white stallion.

"I am not so sure my Lord. The King has ordered us to take care of you and I don't know how giving you my horse which is seriously taller than yours, makes me a prudent caretaker for you." Arwen said.

Celebriel crossed her arms. "Come on aunt. He's been challenged, you have to help him prove his worth."

"What I have to do is keep him from getting wounded." Arwen rebuked softly.

"My Lord stand down please. This is a folly." Lis looked worriedly at Durin.

"Durin's folk never run away from a fight…." -He repeated the words his father had instilled in him since he could remember- "Please Lady Arwen can I have your horse?"

Rhianaye raised her brow partially proud at her brother, but also slightly fearful.

Arwen looked at Aragorn, searching for silent advice.

"Men have to answer to challenges like these." Aragorn tilted his head.

Arwen exhaled through her nose bothered, but alighted. She came round and offered Durin the reins of the tall horse. "You need help up?" She offered.

Durin shook his head. "I have it." He sounded overly confident as he placed his foot on the stirrup with great difficulty due to the height. He was standing on tiptoe and his hands were not able to grasp the saddle, so he clutched the side of the breastplate. Nevertheless he managed to pull himself up easily. When he settled upon the huge saddle he may have looked tiny, nevertheless his appearance was radiating a splendor that was hard to conceal. Despite his size it was plainly obvious this was not a simple Dwarfling riding this majestic white Elven stallion. He pointed at the fallen tree bark that stood in front of a wide boulder. "This one, right?" He gazed at his sister coldly.

Rhianaye uncrossed her arms and quickly retreated in view of his obstinacy. "Yeah, but you don't have to do it. I was only kidding."

Durin pursed his lips and his azure eyes thinned. With no more words he set the great horse at a trot and then at a gallop. Celebriel's eyes sparkled with admiration, but Lis' filled with dismay as he approached the obstacle with great speed. When he kicked the horse's flanks at the proper moment and the beast jumped above the tree, Celebriel's eyes grew wide with pleasure, but Lis' yelped in fear. When the horse managed to go over both the bark and the boulder landing smoothly on the other side Celebriel started clapping, but Lis' closed her eyes with a sign of relief.

When Durin led the horse back to Arwen, Rhianaye pressed her lips and lowered her head avoiding his stare. He jumped and landed in front of his sister smugly. "Okay now? Are we done for the day?"

Rhianaye reached out and held his hand. "You did perfect as was expected. I am sorry I challenged you. I shall never do it again. I don't want to see you hurt. I just wanted to draw your attention."

Durin drew his hand away indifferently and went to his horse. Before he even had the chance to climb up Celebriel's hand fell upon his shoulder and turned him around. "That was amazing!" She said.

He frowned. "Thanks."

She came on the tips of her toes and planted a kiss on his cheek that turned him crimson and made him momentarily forget the worry he had in his heart about his father. He cupped his cheek and looked at her lost.

Aragorn came to his rescue. "That was a very skillful jump master Durin."

Durin's eyes unlocked from Celebriel's magical indigo color. "Thank you."

Thrárin's small hands wrapped around Durin's waist. "That was great! Can you teach me how to do that too?" He yelled.

Durin embraced his young brother and felt the first honest smile forming on his lips. "Maybe when you grow a bit taller."

"Can you do it again with me on the horsey, please?" Thrárin begged.

"Not in our presence. Your risked enough young masters. I am responsible for you." Aragorn's voice was strict.

Durin looked at him for several moments and then turned to his little brother. "I can't snotty, but maybe we can all go to the enchanted lake for a while. How about that?"

"I will ride on the big horses?" Thrárin clapped.

"Sure." -Durin smiled and then turned to Aragorn- "Are you going to come with us?"

Aragorn looked at Arwen who nodded with a sweet smile. "We'd love to." She said.

Durin turned to Celebriel. "Who are you going to ride with?"

Lis looked at her hands disappointed.

"I was hoping to ride with you." Celebriel smiled.

Arwen raised her brow at Aragorn who chuckled discreetly.

"Neither Thrárin , nor my sister can ride a big horse alone." Durin said.

"I can!" Thrárin crossed his arms grumpily.

Rhianaye turned him around. "You are too young, and my legs are too weak. We will allow them to go alone and we will join them next time when we have our ponies. Okay snotty?"

"We can all take passengers." Aragorn smiled.

Rhianaye looked up at that hopefully. "You can?"

Thrárin clapped. "Yeah! I want to ride with Arwen!"

The stunning Elven maiden didn't need to hear anything more. She offer the young Prince her hand. "Come with me Lord Thrárin . It will be a pleasure to ride with you."

That left Celebriel and Rhianaye who both stood in front of Durin. "I'll go home. I am not in the mood for a ride now." Rhianaye said after a few silent moments.

Durin's hand fell on hers before she had the time to leave. "Can you ride with Lord Aragorn or Lis, please?" He turned to Celebriel.

The Elfling's face fell and she looked at Lis, whose brows met angrily. The last thing she wanted was to ride with her. She leaned close to Durin's ear. "Remember our plan? We weren't supposed to go to the enchanted lake with all of them today. We were supposed to go today to Dol Guldur and try to hear those whispers again. There is no other way for me to make sure they are spoken in Black Speech unless I hear them one more time, clearly."

He frowned at her. "We cannot shake them off us now. Keep silent."

"You are right. We shall go tomorrow when everyone is at the feast. It will be easier for us to sneak away." Celebriel whispered.

Durin's mind started racing. "Okay."

"What are you two whispering about? What's the big secret?" Lis sounded annoyed.

"Nothing…" Durin hurried.

"I will ride with you." Celebriel reached up to Aragorn.

He clasped her hand and pulled her. "A pleasure young lady."

Then Durin turned to his sister who was still avoiding his eyes. "So why the long face?" He asked.

"I acted like a brat before, didn't I?" She whispered.

"A bit."

"I shouldn't have challenged you. I am sorry. I was trying to get your attention. You look so sad all the time and when you are not that, you look angry. What you did was dangerous." She sounded honestly sad.

Durin pulled her by the forearm to his horse. "You can be rather silly at times, but so can I. I am fine, just a bit tired. Now are you coming?"

Rhianaye's eyes sparkled with timid happiness. "You will ride with me?"

"Haven't I always been taking care of you, despite how angry you are making me?" He offered her his hands so she could step on them in order to climb on his horse.

"Yes." She sniffled and stepped on them.

He pushed her up easily and she sat on the saddle. He pulled himself up and settled behind her. "No matter how stupid you can become, I will always be here to help you out." He whispered.

Rhianaye felt her heart welling and she turned around to plant a firm kiss on his cheek. "I love you."

"I don't." He snorted and kicked the flanks of his horse taking the lead without even waiting for the others. He intended for his siblings to have fun this day, because tomorrow his appointment with Celebriel was very serious. Her research in King Thranduil's libraries revealed that the symptoms both Durin and his father had with those whispers could be the result of Black Magic. When he revealed those whispers were more prominent close to Dol Guldur, Celebriel told him that she wanted to hear them again in order to make sure they were not Black Speech. That only time she heard them in Durin's mind she had been unable to recognize the language they were spoken in. Even though Durin knew that what they were trying to do was dangerous, he also wanted to help his father. His sister hadn't been mistaken in her assumptions. He was moody, he was sad, he was angry, but above all terrified and that was all because of the day he eavesdropped on his father without even meaning to.

He had been there hiding behind an alcove the day Aragorn banged on the King's doors demanding an entrance. He was on his way to see his dad proud to relate how his team won the hand-ball match, when he saw all those people shouting for the King to open up. He was still a child with barely any experience in life, but that moment he understood something was seriously wrong and he felt his stomach clenching in fear. He hid behind the columns and crawled silently close the King's offices. When he realized the doors were not opening because his father was probably unable to unlock them, he felt terror clutching his heart and it was the first time he realized that his dad might not be well.

He remained concealed with his heart palpitating until the doors flew open and he heard his father's bass tone chastising the guards away. The relief he got from that was momentary, because the need to stoop close in order to overhear his conversation with Aragorn prevailed. Obscured as he was by the shadows of the massive columns he overheard every single word they spoke. Everything about his bloody nose, about fainting, about him feeling ill, about Aragorn becoming Durin's secret bodyguard. With each word cold sweat broke on the princess' brow and his stomach twisted so painfully that he had to physically stop himself from puking. When Aragorn left Durin emptied himself on the floor, feeling on the verge of tears.

He had never seen his father ill. His mother had fallen under fever a couple of times and he had seen her exhausted and pained during her pregnancy to Thrárin …but his father was always well. It was an unspoken rule that King Thorin never felt sick, therefore it was a massive shock for Durin to see his indestructible parent suddenly failing.

The young Prince had read about the wars his father had partaken in, he had seen the scars on Thorin's body, but that was history long gone. This was different…it was concrete, it was here, it was now…and Durin had to face it. When he understood that his father wished for secrecy he made sure to keep what he heard private, so he didn't speak to his mother, his siblings, his aunt or cousin. The fear for his dad grew stronger by the day and his mood angrier and more hectic by each passing moment. It was only Celebriel's carefree nature and patience that made him partially open up about what was happening. That is how she decided to hurry through her research about those whispers and that is how they ended up with the plan to approach Dol Guldur in order to see if the language he heard was Black Speech. Then Durin could reveal their discoveries to the adults and maybe someone would be able to help his dad get better.

With that certainty Durin allowed Lady Arwen to take the lead towards the enchanted lake, but even though his siblings were certain to have a good time there, he wasn't.

His mind remained back home with his father and an overpowering sense of protection for him took over all his thoughts.

 

 


	20. Silent scream

 

Thorin sat quietly next to Dain trying to keep himself from coming apart in front of all his court. Ever since this morning when he woke up his head was terribly heavy, his thoughts were hectic and his reality incoherent. It felt as if he was not fully there and he was unable to concentrate on a single task for more than a few moments without closing his eyes in exhaustion and giving up.

Eilin seemed dreadfully worried about his elevated temperature and insisted to stay home in order to take care of him. However Thorin forced her out of the door with myriads of promises that he was fine and told her to make sure she returned before the feast ended so he could have at least one dance with her.

"I can dance later in our rooms for you…and it will be far more intimate." She teased.

"Go before I change my mind." He shooed her away with a spontaneous smile while trying to control his dizziness. Despite his need to fall back in bed and forget about everything, he dressed with great difficulty, scowling rather annoyed at the pain that was coming from every single muscle in his body. He woke up the children and took over their breakfast which he was unable to finish. He emptied himself on a chair, barely able to hold his head up while Loa finished their omelets, while he listened patiently to Thrárin's rumblings about the feast and Rhianaye's descriptions of the dress she was going to wear.

The only one silently observant was his oldest son whom Thorin tried to cheer up to no avail. By the end of breakfast he was feeling waves of cold shivers rushing through his body and a lot of discomfort from his joints, which he tried to brush off as too much training with Dwalin yesterday. He pushed through the ever-growing aches and attended a rather demanding meeting with the four Cavern Chancellors as well as with three members of the Seven who sought to discuss the commandeering of Erebor's ever-growing army.

When the meetings were over it was Balin's turn to worry about the paleness of the King's countenance and at his inability to eat anything, but Thorin overlooked his concern and obligated himself to walk down to the third level mines in order to check some new tunnels that were producing a lot of iron and copper. As both Dale and the Northmen had placed large orders for copper, Thorin wished to ascertain that these new veins fulfilled the guidelines. Dwalin followed him everywhere, but remained silently watchful until Thorin finished his inspections.

It was only when they were alone that he spoke of his concerns. "I don't want to scare you, but you can barely walk and you are pale as a ghost."

Thorin's scowl deepened. "I need to rest and I cannot find a moment to do so."

"No disagreements from me. Let me escort you back to your rooms so you can sleep some more." Dwalin tried to engage his elbow.

"Today is the great summer feast. My people have been working for several days now in order to please me and my family with it. I will not go and hide in my rooms when everyone is giving their best for us." Thorin glowered.

Dwalin exhaled roughly through his nose. "I swear it is your stubbornness that will end up killing you, if your self-denial doesn't do the trick first."

Thorin pushed him away. "My children are waiting impatiently for that damned banquet and it will help cheer up Durin. I am not going back to bed when in a few hours the whole city will be full of music, singing and dancing. I am the King and I am supposed to be presiding."

"Have you seen yourself in a mirror?" Dwalin engaged his elbow again and steadied him up when Thorin stopped to catch his breath.

"I am sure I am not too shabby for entering my third century…" Thorin teased, but his smile was dry.

"Don't jest…" Dwalin warned.

"I am not jesting. I am trying to get you to leave me alone." Thorin waved him off.

"I will not, so give it up." Dwalin reached out angrily and clasped his hand so hard that Thorin hissed in pain and drew back abruptly.

"What the hell?" He spat and cradled his hand protectively. The pain that was throbbing there between his forefinger and his thumb hadn't been noticed before. He gazed at it confused for several moments and was surprised to see that it was rather swollen, red and very sensitive to the touch. The most delicate spot was the recent scar on his forefinger he vaguely remembered acquiring from his visit to Dol Guldur.

Dwalin's eyes fell on Thorin's hand uneasily. "What the hell indeed. Why is your hand so messed up? I didn't see this before."

Thorin touched his forefinger and felt as if a knife slashed through it. "Me neither." He hissed, feeling slightly disturbed.

Dwalin held Thorin's hand and touched the fingertip carefully. The King had to physically stop himself from barking a curse. "This looks like a very advanced infection."

Thorin drew his hand away. "Apparently."

Dwalin walked in front of him and stopped him. "Where did you get that? During training?"

Thorin reached up and rubbed his temples. "I don't remember. I think it happened in Dol Guldur."

Dwalin's frown darkened. "Dol Guldur?"

"I have a rather vague memory of slicing my finger on a blade there, but I am not so sure." Thorin shook his head trying to shake away both Dwalin and his bothersome memories.

His friend's hand tightened around his wrist keeping him there. "The blades that are forgotten around Dol Guldur are not safe. Many are contaminated with poison. I think Oin needs to see you straightaway. In fact I have a feeling he needed to see you much sooner and we all overlooked it."

"Forget Oin. I am not going to make a sudden appearance in the infirmary when my kingdom is getting ready to celebrate Dwalin. Let go of my hand." Thorin pulled himself free so violently, that Dwalin almost toppled over.

"If this swelling comes from a poisoned blade then your life might be in danger. Why is it so hard for you to understand? You are pale as a ghost, you can barely walk and you hand is twice the size it should be. I don't doubt that you might be having fever also." His friend attempted to check on him, but Thorin pulled away.

"I have Eilin's and Balin's attentiveness to suffocate me. I don't need yours." He snapped and walked towards the main gates with newfound determination.

"Where the hell are you going now?" Dwalin followed him feeling utterly frustrated.

"Fili has escorted Eilin to Dale. I will make an impromptu inspection to the Royal Guards in his stead. Then maybe…and I repeat maybe I will listen to your advice and go back to my rooms in order to get some sleep." Thorin grumbled moodily.

"And I will bring Oin up to see you…"

"If you bring that deaf oaf in my rooms prior to the feast I swear…" Thorin thundered, but Dwalin spoke over him.

"I will not bring him prior to the feast, but you will allow him to check on your hand and your overall physical state after the celebration. Do we have a deal?" Dwalin turned him around and brought his face inches from the King's.

Thorin grasped his lapels and pulled him in. "If you keep this between us and you don't worry my wife, my sister and my kids….then I will reluctantly agree." He was breathing heavily and Dwalin noticed.

He swallowed heavily and looked at Thorin's pale features with increasing concern. "Alright."

"After the bloody feast!" Thorin barked.

Dwalin squeezed his forearm. "After the feast…I promise."

Thorin closed his eyes and rested his forehead on Dwalin while trying to catch his breath. His loyal bodyguard felt his stomach dropping and cold sweat breaking on the back of his neck at the heat that was emanating from Thorin's skin.

"I think you are burning up with fever." He pulled back in order to check Thorin's temperature with his palm.

Thorin brushed him away annoyed. "I think so too…but we agreed. After the feast and not a word to my family!"

Dwalin's countenance took a plunge. "Okay, but right now you are coming with me." He engaged Thorin's elbow.

"I told you, I need to go to the garrison…"

Dwalin pursed his lips infuriated beyond reason. "Fili's guards are the treasure of Erebor's army. You don't need to inspect them today. Allow your men to have some fun."

"Where are we going?" Thorin frowned and reached out to steady himself at a pillar.

"You are going to bed, until it is time to go to the feast. You can barely stand." Dwalin pulled him on his body and steadied him before leading him up the royal staircase.

Thorin allowed his best friend to steer him uncomplainingly back to his rooms. Thankfully neither his wife nor his kids were there. Dwalin helped him undress and get into bed. With a renewal of the promise to wait for the ending of the celebration Dwalin left the rooms and alerted the guards to keep a close eye to the King.

* * *

 

When Thorin woke up much later, he surprisingly felt a lot better. During his sleep he got very sweaty so his temperature went back to normal and he felt no discomfort from his joints. However his hand was still rather swollen so when he dressed he took care to wear a pair of thick leather gloves in order to hide it. When he made his appearance at the feast he was well-groomed and as imposing as ever. Everyone's faces lit up when they saw their King in full attire, happily ready to partake at the feast and even Dwalin settled down sullenly when he saw how much better his best friend was looking after a few hours of uninterrupted rest.

Thorin joined the celebrations whole-heartedly. He sang with his richly profound voice, he drank plenty, he played the harp to the enchantment of many, he joined in several conversations with his kin, but also with Lord Elrond. He attended to his children and his sister uncomplainingly. His attitude was carefree and his disposition joyful so he didn't make anyone suspicious that something was amiss and no one seemed to worry about their King apart from Dwalin. The one thing he avoided consistently was dancing as that was something he only did for or with his wife. His eyes kept searching the valley for a glimpse of Eilin to no avail and he tried not to feel too put out by that. Besides he send her off to Dale with his blessings so he had no right nagging about her absence now.

The feast continued as planned for a long time, but as the sun began setting and it's heat hid behind the mountain… as the people around him became more and more intoxicated and unhinged Thorin started feeling once again the preludes of his sickness returning.

Slowly the throbbing headache made a reappearance and alongside of it came the pain on his body. Then came his rising temperature which this time he didn't try to brush off as insignificant. Then followed the cold shivers that made him wrap himself with his coat when everyone else was discarding their clothing one by one. Soon enough instead of partaking in the happy bantering he curled in on himself and leaned back on his elaborate chair trying to keep his eyes open and his sanity from dispersing in the four winds. It wasn't only his physical ailment that was torturing him though….it was also the confusing images that were bombarding his brain while his body slowly started closing down.

As he inclined his head back and closed his eyes feeling his skin forming painful goosebumps, he saw again Eilin kissing him goodbye this morning and Durin skulking moodily at his food without touching it. He saw Thrárin giggling as he tried to pull down Rhianaye's apron and his daughter's beautiful black hair waving with the wind as she prevailed around the dancefloor. He saw his sister kissing Dongar discreetly and her cheeks catching fire, he saw Dwalin scolding him for not allowing Oin to check on his health and Valdis looking concerned around for Fili while her father was trying to settle her down. The images of everything that was so lively and beautiful around him kept echoing behind his closed eyes repeatedly. Had they been the only ghosts waking up in his mind he would have been fine, but they weren't.

Suddenly out of nowhere, the disturbed features of Thrain rushed in his mind, twisted in a silent agonizing scream while a black mist of despair was trying to swallow him up whole. Thorin jerked upright and felt a strong shudder chasing his skin, which made him cringe in pain.

Dain mumbled something Thorin didn't hear without noticing the King was slipping in and out of consciousness.

Thorin cleared his throat and rubbed his forehead firmly in order to keep himself here. "What?" he asked. Was he actually hallucinating as he was sitting in the midst of his people, fully awake? This was not good. Maybe Dwalin was right and he needed to visit Oin immediately. He felt worse by each passing moment and he began fearing that he would end up being unable to walk back to his rooms unassisted, never mind dancing with his wife as he had originally intended.

"Your attention seems to be solely upon Elrond." Dain noticed and lifted up his mug to drink.

"I am preparing to draw him away from that small tree patch were his daughter and the Ranger retreated for some privacy, if needed." Thorin tried to pull himself together well enough in order to attend this gossip.

"Why so?" Dain raised his brow.

"These children need a moment of peace and Elrond seems very reluctant to give it to them. I am sure he thinks his reasons are very valid and as a father I can understand his concerns. Nevertheless I have been in the place of Aragorn and I don't want to see others suffer the way I did. I wish to assist them in order to get my own past to rest." Thorin said quietly.

"Thrain suffocated you?" Dain seemed amused.

"Did you have any doubts about that?" Thorin's brow arched and a faded smile formed on his lips.

"Nope…none…" Dain shook his head and drunk some more.

"If I ever end up suffocating any of my children, kill me." Thorin took a large sip out of his mug and closed his eyes.

Dain gazed at him seriously for a few moments and then chucked. "I'll try, but it won't be easy. You are difficult to kill…"

Thorin snorted. "You might find it easy…. I don't know." He murmured thinking how weak he felt at that moment.

Dain scowled at him. "You sound more defeated than I have ever heard you. Are you sure you are okay?"

"No he is not." Dwalin sat heavily next to Thorin, rattling his nerves.

"Will you shut up?" The King spat.

"I won't…" Dwalin spat.

"Should I go? This seems personal and rather heated." Dain decided to intervene.

"You stay put. He might need both of us soon." Dwalin pointed at his cousin.

Dain flicked his brow. "Either you are making no sense to me, or I am too drunk to understand you."

"You are drunk." –Thorin said to Dain and then turned to Dwalin- "As for you, I will not get into this nonsense again right now. Where is Thrárin and Durin? I haven't seen them in a while."

Dwalin crossed his arms. "Durin is messing with that young Elfling somewhere and Thrárin is with Brunar and his mother near the boats."

Thorin overlooking the sharp pain that came from his head, pushed his chair back and stood up. He squared his shoulders stubbornly against the dizziness and raised his hand to Dwalin. "You will stay here and keep company to Dain. I am going to go find my son and have some good time with him instead of staying here to mop around in your misery!"

Dwalin humphed and crossed his arms vexed, but didn't dare follow his friend after the warning glance Thorin threw him.

When the King disappeared in the shadows Dain turned to Dwalin. "Care to tell me what was that all about?"

"That is Thorin being stiff-necked as always! Bombur was always right calling him that! You meant to tell me that you didn't notice how sick he looks?" Dwalin raised his brow.

Dain seemed to waver. "Well..."

Dwalin stood up. "You are absolutely sloshed and I have no time for that!" He thundered and walked away from the royal table leaving Dain looking around totally bewildered as to what had taken over everyone so suddenly.

* * *

 

"Will you stop pulling my hand so roughly?" Celebriel chastised.

"I don't want them to see us." Durin nodded towards the gathering where Aragorn and Arwen were kissing hidden behind a thick tree bark, away from the prying eyes of her father.

"Why not?" Celebriel frowned.

"My dad has placed Aragorn as my new bodyguard. As if Lis wasn't enough and all the guards that keep trailing after me all the time..." Durin said crossly.

Celebriel nibbled her bottom lip and then smiled. "Well, you are rather famous. What did you expect?"

Durin threw his hands in the air. "Don't remind me of that! I thought you came here to make forget my problems."

She reached out and touched his hand. "I am here to help you solve your problems, because I like you. You are my friend."

"Fine…alright…fine…but…" He chewed his words.

She raised both brows. "But what?"

He hesitated long before adding quickly. "Are you my friend because I am famous? You keep saying that all the time and it pisses me off!"

Celebriel's ethereal features clouded. "What? Of course not!"

"I know how much you admire our history and Durin's legacy. I might be his reincarnation, but I am also me, you know? People usually forget that and it hurts." His face looked at the verge of breaking.

Celebriel pressed his hand. "You are my friend. I don't care what your name is or whose reincarnation you are. I didn't ever want to give you such an idea. I really, truly like you….and I mean you….not Durin's reincarnation."

Durin drew back and leaned against a tree. He crossed his arms protectively in front of his chest and looked down. "Even if I sometimes don't know where I end and he begins?"

Celebriel's smile became bright. "Even then. You are my first friend and I don't want to make you sad."

Durin's lips turned down and he kicked the dirt with his boot. "You are mine too...I guess."

Celebriel pressed her forefinger on her lips. "I like that."

Durin cringed, but remained silent for a more than a few moments before speaking. "I am sorry I pulled you so hard."

Celebriel grinned. "It's okay."

"I shouldn't have talked to you like that either. My dad says I must always be chivalrous to girls and I think I messed up…" He continued.

You are far from being chivalrous to girls. You need a lot of work to fix that." Celebriel looked at him cunningly.

He glowered down at her.

"Still I don't mind…Dad always said that Dwarves are crude and obnoxious, so I knew what to expect. I kind of like that." She flicked her wrist at him playfully.

He snorted. "You are weird."

"So you keep telling me." Her face lit up.

He exhaled hard and closed his eyes. "I am sorry I didn't come play with you yesterday."

Celebriel touched his shoulder. "You were worried about your dad. I know."

Durin looked up sharply at that. "Did you see him tonight?"

Celebriel's lips twisted regretfully. "Yeah, he looks pretty rough."

Durin closed his eyes in order to stop the tears from coming. He was afraid about his father all this time lately and felt unable to share that with anybody….

….or was that a lie?

Celebriel was here with him, wasn't she? He was talking to her willingly, wasn't he? She was so different from every other friend he ever had up till now. She was not there to challenge him or play rough games. He didn't feel competitive towards her, nor in the constant need to prove himself when they were together. He didn't feel the persistent need to protect her or become her leader. It was as if he was on an equal basis with her, something he had never experienced before, not even with his twin. Due to Rhianaye's difficulties he was always supposed to help her, but he didn't feel that with Celebriel.

Today she was here to help him instead and his young heart appreciated her presence more than his mouth would ever admit out loud.

"I am so scared for him that I cannot sleep at night." He murmured.

"We will help him, don't worry. He is going to be okay as soon as we find out what those whispers are." She said quietly.

Durin hesitated. "Maybe we should ask for Aragorn's help, or Dwalin's or uncle Dain's….We are not well equipped to deal with this." A sudden dose of reality dawned in his eyes.

Celebriel reached out and clasped his hand. "We may be much less equipped than them, but it is only you who hears those whispers apart from your dad and as you told me he is keeping his sickness private. He hasn't shared it with anyone. If we tell them our plans they will try to stop us and you know it. You are not allowed to approach Dol Guldur by your father's orders."

"I know…" -Durin looked at their joined hands- "Do you regret helping me out?"

Celebriel beamed up to him. "Not at all! I love helping you out."

Durin exhaled and wiped a few stray tears that run down his cheeks.

Celebriel scowled and came closer to see him better. "Why are you crying?"

"I don't want him to die…" As those words came out of his mouth so did all the tears of terror he hid in his young heart.

Celebriel pulled him in for a hug that he didn't resist. "Aw… there I thought that Dwarves were very coarse and never showed their emotions. I guess dad was mistaken all along." Celebriel stroked his long hair gently.

Durin tried to pull away. "Don't joke, I am not in the mood."

She kept him in that tight hug obstinately. "It's okay. I am just surprised to see a Dwarf cry."

Durin's smile was sad as he tried to wipe his face clean. "You mean to tell me you've met so many Dwarves that you know how we react?"

Celebriel giggled. "Stop struggling. I am not going to let you go while you are crying."

He froze for several moments, but then swiftly hugged her back with such a ferocity that she yelped and reciprocated with equal zeal, happy that he was showing her what he needed. She held him for as long as he required her and she decided to stay quiet even though her young over-active mind wished to continue poking him. However she remembered how her father used to cradle her silently when she was crying her frustrations in his arms and how good it felt that she didn't have to explain herself. So she tried to do the same for Durin now.

After several moments he seemed to settle down. "Are you feeling better now?" She asked.

"No…" He whispered.

She frowned. "Then we shall remain here for as long as you want."

Durin drew back and cleared some long locks from his red cheeks. He looked equal parts embarrassed and confused. "Can I ask you something without upsetting you?"

Celebriel nipped her bottom lip. "Sure. About what?"

"Your mom?" Durin's eyes were searching upon hers.

The young girl seemed to withdraw instantly on that question. "Yeah…I guess so." She looked at her hands.

Durin's fingers twisted painfully around each other until he found the courage to ask the question that was tormenting him. "I don't know anything about death…." He whispered.

Celebriel's beautiful features filled with bitterness. "Why do you wish to know about it?"

"This is the first time I am afraid I will lose my dad and it scares me so much. I have seen all the wounds on his body. Uncle Dain and Fili cannot stop talking about the battles he partook in and how he almost died so many times, but those are just stories you know? I have never seen him fall ill….I have never seen him wounded and this terrifies me. I don't know how I am supposed to feel right now." Durin's eyes were eating her up.

"I don't know much about my mom's death. My dad never speaks of it, but he tells me she was a brave woman. He says I have taken after her beauty and her cheeky personality. I never met her. I was just a baby when she died. I suppose that is much better than loving her and then losing her so I don't know the fear you are experiencing. I just feel so sad that she is not here and I miss her terribly. Sometimes I feel angry that I will never get to meet her. Death for me is anger and sadness. Does that sound weird to you?"

Durin shook his head and his eyes teared up again. "Not at all. I am sorry I asked you something like that."

She reached out and squeezed his warm hand with her frozen one. "Your dad is not going to die, okay?"

A loud sob erupted from his throat which he tried to silence. "He is too young to die."

Celebriel pulled his hand. "And too tough to die. That is written in all the history books….Thorin Oakenshield is the first King apart from Durin the first to rule more than a hundred years. Many times the forces of darkness tried to undo him and every time they failed. Your dad is immortal. Now are you ready to discover everything we can about those whispers that seem to be making him so sick? If you are sure it is them that are causing him all these problems and not something else."

Durin sniffled and wiped his nose clean with the back of his hand. "What else could it be? He began falling ill when we both started hearing those damned whispers close to Dol Guldur." He sounded resolute.

"Then it is settled. How are we going to go?" Celebriel looked around for a free animal they could take.

"We will take my horse, it's over there."

Celebriel stopped him and pointed at Arwen's white stallion. "That beauty will ride much faster."

Durin visible wavered. "I cannot steal your aunt's horse."

Celebriel lifted up on her toes and gave him a firm kiss on his cheek. "No, but I can…now come on!" She said with newly found enthusiasm and pulled him by the hand, without noticing how red his cheeks were glowing again.

* * *

 

Thorin knelt and caressed his son's bright red hair. "Did you catch many fish, my warrior?"

Thrárin was holding a trout that was a little too big in his small hands. "This is the third one daddy!" He cried enthusiastically.

"I caught five!" Brunar yelled with the same fervor.

"Well, congratulations to both of you. Are you going to take them to Bombur so he can cook them for you?" Thorin forced himself to smile, even though the pain in his head was even more prominent now.

Thrárin's face fell. "No! I don't want them to die!"

Thorin pulled back surprised and gave a vague smile to Lady Íth who was observing them quietly. "Then why in the name of Mahal did you want to learn how to fish?"

"I wanted a pet! They feel so slimy, but nice." Thrárin showed his toothless grin happily.

"A pet? Like with that frog you kept chasing?" Thorin murmured and stroked his son's arm.

Thrárin nodded. "Yeah!"

"Are you going to eat your catch Brunar or will you set them free also?" Thorin turned to the other boy.

"No I will eat them all!" Brunar frowned and Íth laughed.

Thrárin glowered at his friend. "The poor fishes. Let them go…they will be in so much pain if you grill them!"

"No, I am hungry!" Brunar rebuked angrily.

Thorin clasped Thrárin's hands and felt his heart twitching at how much he resembled his mother not only in appearance, but also in personality. Eleven years ago in this very river shore it was the fish in Eilin's nets that Thorin released in the river according to her wishes. That was the night that he started falling for her …hard. Many years later he was doing the same thing for their son. "So what do you think? Are we going to release him together?"

Thrárin nibbled his lip. "Yeah daddy, but I haven't given him a name yet. He must have a name."

"Choose quickly for he cannot breathe…he will die soon." Thorin warned.

Thrárin's eyes darted around. "Thrór!" He yelled.

Thorin's lips formed a sweet smile that echoed in his eyes. "You will give your renowned forefather's name to a …trout?"

"Yeah…why not?" Thrárin looked at him with heart-warming innocence.

Thorin tilted his head. "Yeah well, why not indeed. There goes Thrór free then…." He said and they both cast the fish back in the river.

Thrárin's face fell and his father noticed. "Hey what's wrong?"

"I wanted to keep Thrór daddy."

Thorin emptied himself on the ground exhausted and looked at the bucket with the two remaining fish. "Well, trouts don't make a good pet son. They need their freedom. Besides aren't we enough already? Two adults and three children. You want more?"

Thrárin's lips pouted. "Yeah."

"Well better we find you something else with four legs that can follow you around. A fish or a frog won't be able to do that." Thorin smiled tiredly at his son.

"A frog might!" Brunar chimed in.

Thorin tilted his head. "That's true, but we are not giving my grandfather's name to a frog!" He warned playfully.

Brunar's face fell. "That would have been funny."

Thorin's smile faded as he turned to Thrárin. "Funny indeed. Now cast the rest of them in the river, unless you want to give them to Brunar for dinner."

"No!" -Thrárin hugged the bucket and then quickly emptied it in the water- "I don't want to eat my friends."

Brunar came over carrying his bucket. "You can eat mine if you want." He offered.

Thrárin's looked at him sadly and then at his father.

"Say thank you and help him take the fish to Bombur. You set your friends free, now go with your friend to get some food. Of you go."

Thrárin hugged his father tightly and gave him a sloppy kiss. "Okay daddy!" He yelled happily and then joined Brunar, eagerly helping him take the bucket to one of the great fire pits.

Lady Íth made to follow the children, but she noticed how ill the King looked and that made her stop. "Are you okay my Lord?"

He observed at her sideways and gave her an exhausted nod. "Yes, it has been a hard day that's all."

Íth watched at the boys who found their way to the pit alone and decided to remain a moment longer. "Thank you for not forcing Brunar to empty his fish in the river also."

"Those were his catch….his hunt…his effort. He gets to decide what to do with them. Just because Thrárin wanted to free his, that doesn't mean he can free the ones that others caught. A good lesson to be learned for sure." He said quietly.

Íth frowned and kneeled down in front of him. "Sir, I find this moment opportune to express to you my sadness about what happened at your office. I noticed that you kept your distance from me after that day and I recognized how much I must have insulted you."

"Can we not go back to that, please? It has caused me a lot of grief." Thorin closed his eyes and leaned his head back.

Íth frowned. "I want to be bluntly honest with you Sir, but also equally respectful. I must admit that hadn't you been married I would have offered you more than one flower-crowns. Take that as a compliment not as an advance and don't let those words insult you, please."

Thorin looked up and a cold shiver thundered through his body. He cringed and nodded. "Thank you. I appreciate your honesty."

Íth looked at her palms thoughtfully for several moments. "I am not a woman of low ethics my Lord. After the death of my husband I never approached anyone else. I never wished for men to see me as a woman anymore, but sometimes the heart has its own mind you know. One cannot always control it and that is what happened with you. My heart decided for me and my mind wasn't prudent enough to stop me. I am a mother who adores her child and a proud niece of the great Durar. I am not a trollop –forgive my language- and I have insulted unwillingly both you and the Queen with my foolishness. I realized how much I have hurt you when you decided to keep away from me, but most of all I was saddened by the Queen's animosity which was quite evident after what took place between us at the river shore. She never gave me the opportunity to set things straight and I am here to beg you for an audience with her so I can do that, hoping it is not too late."

Thorin's eyes remained closed as he spoke the next words. "I love my wife and my children more than my life. As long as I breathe my heart and soul belongs to her…I hope that is clearly understood."

Lady Íth looked at the ground respectfully. "Praiseworthy words befitting our honorable King."

"Now that we have cleared this part, I will acknowledge how much I appreciate your uncle who has also become a very close friend of mine the last few years. He is an indispensable member of my court and an army commander I place second only to Dain Ironfoot. As for you, I see in your face a devoted mother and a respectful niece who is also human prone to errors of judgment. Nothing to reproach there. Allow me once more to offer you my friendship and my support in all your endeavors and let us keep it at that. Alright?" Thorin said quietly.

Íth swallowed heavily. "Yes my Lord. I wish for that whole-heartedly, but also for a chance to speak to the Queen and explain myself to her. Maybe even beg to be accepted in her good graces again."

"I will talk with my wife when she comes." Thorin flinched hard when a strong tremor made all his muscles ripple painfully.

Íth scowled deeply. "You really don't look all that well my Lord."

Thorin tried to close his swollen hand, but it was impossible. His whole body was aching and his head was throbbing. His dizziness was almost so severe as to make him unable to sit up and he didn't trust his knees to stay locked if he attempted to stand up on his own. All he wanted to do at this moment was crawl back to his bed. "I am a little bit tired, that is all."

"Maybe I should call somebody over to help you?" -Ith offered- "What about Lord Dwalin?"

Thorin opened his mouth to answer when all of a sudden an overwhelming flurry of whispers overtook his mind rendering him speechless.

 _Bugd burzum. Bugd burguul u Lugbúrz. Throqu za glob gazat durub. Thrak ta u bagronk agh krimp ta._ *

He covered his ears and his lips parted in a silent scream that never escaped his throat. Íth reached out for him. "Sir, what is wrong?!" She held his face in her hands and shuddered at how hot his skin was and how hard he was shaking. "Sir? I think you need help! Look at me, please." She urged him to open his eyes.

* * *

 

Eilin dismounted and looked around the gathering blissfully. It had taken the tattoo artist far longer to finish and when she left Dale she knew it was already too late for her to enjoy the summer feast. Despite the pain on her upper body and the heavy pulling of the bruised skin on her chest she changed her clothes in the Town Hall and chose one of Thorin's favorite dresses. She didn't care if her body was in such discomfort or that she felt tired to the bone. The tattoo was finished and if her husband wished to be intimate with her tonight she was going to present him his gift with great pride, in spite of it being partially bloody, puffed up and not as attractive in its healing process as she would have wanted. She dolled up and made her hair exactly as he liked them. She pulled two long locks away from her temples and steadied them at the back of her head with one of Thorin's beads. Then she climbed upon her horse with the help of Fili who didn't abandon her for a single moment and rode back to Erebor as fast as her body allowed her.

When she made her appearance, the whole gathering stopped every activity in order to honor the Queen of the North. She alighted and walked happily to the main fire pit as everyone around bowed and curtsied respectfully.

"Don't stop please! I wish to see you dancing and singing and being merry! This is a beautiful night! Don't ruin your entertainment for me…." She said happily and her eyes searched around for her husband and children. She only saw Dis with Dongar and walked quickly over to them.

"Where have you been darling? Your husband was waiting for you all night long." Dis raised her brow critically.

Eilin sat gingerly next to Dis and smiled widely at Dongar. "Lieutenant, can I have a moment please?"

Dongar bowed courteously. "Of course my Lady." He said and walked away discreetly.

Dis straightened up and looked at Eilin with a frown. "What is it with all this silly mirth on your face?"

Eilin pulled her tunic and her eyes darted around. "Look down my cleavage."

Dis looked and saw the traces of the tattoo. She then gazed up and smiled knowingly. "Oh, you cunning woman. That is your present for Thorin?"

Eilin blushed and cupped her cheeks. She felt so giddy that the excitement was making her stomach burst with butterflies. "Yes! I inked a wolf alongside his inner name. Do you think he is going to like it?"

Dis clasped her hands. "He is going to adore it! Very good young lady….very good."

Eilin smiled widely. "That is why I was so late. The tattoo was rather detailed and the artist wanted me to come tomorrow to continue, but I told her that she had to finish tonight no matter what."

Dis pulled her in for a kiss. "A perfect gift from a most loving wife."

Eilin hissed painfully. "Careful."

"Sorry…" Dis cringed.

Eilin clasped her hand. "Never mind! So where is Thorin? Where are the children?"

Dis pointed behind the fire-pit. "Thrárin and Rhianaye are there with Brunar and Bombur. I have no idea where Durin is again, but I saw Thorin walking down that path to the river shore not so long ago. He hasn't returned yet."

Eilin planted a firm kiss on Dis' cheek and stood up. "I'll go find him!"

Dis waved her off. "You silly love bird. Do your thing and let me be…." She said playfully and then called Dongar over.

Eilin hopscotched merrily down the path that Dis had pointed at. It was abandoned and rather dark urging her promptly to lose her spark and tiptoe as quietly as possible, in order not to disturb the serenity of the surroundings. "Thorin where are you?" -She called in a sing song manner- "Did the pandemonium from the feast get in your nerves? Where are you hiding? I am sorry I was so late…" She called gently and the grin on her face was so intense that the muscles of her cheeks were hurting. She was woozily picturing his face the moment she'd show him the tattoo and she was so unconcerned of her environment that when she rounded a rather big tree bark she came face to face with the last thing she would have ever expected to see.

Thorin was sitting down with his back against a tree. Lady Íth was kneeling in front of him, cradling his face in her hands with her nose almost touching his. If anything could have halted Eilin's happiness this violently, then this was it. Her whole world plummeted to hell with such forceful totality that she lost her footing and had to grab a thick branch in order to keep herself up. She opened her mouth to speak, but her chest contracted and expelled all the air from her lungs. Her voice sounded extinguished. "Thorin?"

The King opened his eyes and looked at his wife. For a few moments he was unable to understand if what he was seeing was real or not. Lady Íth yelped in terror, but her shock didn't permit her to release the King's face from her hands quickly enough. "Eilin?" He frowned and pushed Íth away.

Eilin clutched her chest were his name was inscribed under her skin and her face twisted in an expression of pained confusion. "Thorin?" It was as if her mouth could only form his name.

Thorin stood up abruptly and wavered on his feet.

Ith tried to steady him. "My Lord."

"Stay back, please…" -He told her and then turned to his wife- "Eilin this isn't what you think…."

"Then what is it?" Eilin whispered and her eyes filled with despair.

"She was only trying to help me. For the sake of heavens I can barely stand!" Thorin thundered and walked over to her as quickly as his body allowed him.

Ith cupped her mouth and her eyes overflowed with tears. She took several steps back, wishing to find a place to hide and then die from shame.

Eilin's heart screamed in pain. "You mean to tell me that my eyes are deceiving me? She was ready to kiss you Thorin!" She hissed.

Thorin grabbed a tree to steady himself as his knees almost unlocked under him. "No she didn't! You have misunderstood everything!"

"Don't yell at me. I know what I saw." Eilin's jawline flexed and her voice dropped.

"You have no idea what you saw!" -Thorin snarled- "Don't walk away from me!"

Eilin shook her head and raised her hand. "Stand back…"

Thorin felt tremendous pain slashing through his stomach and wrapped his arm around it. He bend over and leaned his body on the tree for support. "Eilin please listen to me…."

"My Lord…" Íth sprang into action and rushed to steady him.

He raised his hand. "Stay away!"

Ith froze. "My Lady you don't understand. The King is in poor health…"

"You will do me a favor and shut up!" Eilin commanded coldly.

Ith quivered and looked away quickly.

"Eilin please let me explain." He hissed both from pain and from despair.

The Queen closed her eyes and covered her forehead. "You don't need to explain anything."

Thorin opened his mouth to spit a curse. He got ready to take another quaking step in order to reach her and jerk her to reason. Anything to make her understand, but the loud caw of a crow made them all look up. Roac circled a couple of times and then landed on the King's shoulder. Thorin blinked as his eyesight had become so blurry that he was only able to see the outline of his wife and even that was wavering back and forth.

Or was it him doing that?

He turned to his trusted crow. "Roac?"

The King of the crows whispered a few words in his ear and Thorin felt the hair on his nape standing on end. "What?" He muttered.

Roac cawed and flew away from him.

A deadly silence befell the small clearing while he tried to understand what the crow had just told him. Eilin's eyes were throwing daggers at Ith's head while the other lady didn't dare look at either ruler. The King covered his eyes and cursed under his breath while the numbness in his heart spread towards his hands.

"Thorin look at me!" Eilin's demanding tone destroyed the lingering emptiness around him and kicked him into action.

His body shattered with so much adrenaline that instantly all its ailments took a back seat to the intemperate need to find a horse and a weapon fast. His growl was visceral, but instrumental in helping him unglue himself from that damned tree. When he felt Eilin's hands wrapping possessively around his bicep he pushed her away. "Not now!" He spat.

"What did Roac tell you?!" Eilin cried.

Thorin strode past her with heavy and decisive steps. "Durin is in Dol Guldur with Elrond's niece." He snarled.

Eilin turned around and followed him. "What is our son doing in that accursed place!?" She yelled.

"I have no idea!" He spat and entered the main gathering like a whirlwind of fury.

"Thorin!" Eilin grasped his forearm and tried to turn him around.

"Not now woman!" -He commanded and located Dwalin - "Durin is in Dol Guldur. Find me a weapon!" The King thundered and the whole gathering froze. The music instruments stopped playing and everyone looked at each other bewildered. Dis slowly stood up and grasped Dongar's hand for support. "Bring me over Thrárin and Rhianaye…" She instructed and the lieutenant rushed to do her bidding.

Thorin grabbed the reins of his black steed and climbed on it easily. Then he took the bow Dwalin found for him and without waiting for anyone else he set his horse on a wild gallop almost overthrowing the royal table in his haste. Dwalin's horse followed the King's rapidly.

"Was it wise of you to forget your main obligation here in order to fool around with my daughter in the dark?" Elrond snapped at Aragorn as he walked to his horse.

"Lord Durin was right there with us all the time." Aragorn rejoined.

"We didn't see him leave." -Arwen added and then looked around confused- "Where is my horse?"

Elrond raised his brow. "Apparently gone along with the heir to the Throne of the North!" He rumbled and kicked his horse at the flanks setting it to a gallop.

Eilin looked at all the horses that kept galloping past her and felt lost and confused, but above all petrified. What she saw in that clearing between Íth and her husband became unimportant in view of her son being in danger. She looked around terrified trying to locate her other children. When she saw them with Dis she grabbed the reins of Bjarki's horse that was trotting past her. "Get down!" She commanded with a heavy voice.

"My Queen I need to go after the King!" He said.

"And I need to go after my husband and my son! Now get down!" She yelled and her eyes spewed fire.

Bjarki alighted and offered her the reins silently.

Eilin mounted fast and hurried after the others, wishing only of one thing. To make sure her son was alright.

* * *

 

"Dear Eru, I really hate this place." Celebriel murmured.

"Me too." Durin rejoined and walked slowly in front of one of the destroyed bridges.

"Maybe you shouldn't approach so much." Her tone was concerned.

"How else am I going to figure out what is going on? I thought I'd hear those damned whispers by coming closer, yet there is nothing but silence." Durin grumbled.

"Eerie silence…." Celebriel crossed her arms and looked around her frightened.

Durin started pacing in front of the bridge like a caged lion, resembling uncannily his father. "Come on, come on. I am here. I know you can speak to us. You have been doing it to my father and to me all this time. I am here, speak again." He murmured.

Celebriel looked around at the soundless forest and shivered.

"You made my dad sick, didn't you?" Durin stopped in front of the ruins and he curled his hands into tight fists.

No answer from the Black Hill.

"I know you made my dad sick! Now take what you did back!" Durin's voice raised slightly.

Celebriel nipped her bottom lip and gazed at the shadows between the trees.

"I might look like a nobody to you. I might look small and unimportant, but know this! Vor Thror korda,** I will find a way to get you one day! Mark my words! I am Durin the Seventh and I won't rest until I reclaim Khazad-Dum and help bring you down! Now heal my father you ugly hobgoblin!" Durin stomped his foot down furiously.

Celebriel hurried over to him and clasped his bicep. "Hey don't provoke it. We came here to listen to the whispers, not challenge its darkness. What you are doing is not wise."

Durin released himself from her hold and turned to the dark stronghold. "This place is making my dad ill!" -He pointed at it- "I will kick it to the ground stone to stone if that will help my dad get better!" He was unable to control the ever-growing anger in his youthful heart.

Celebriel's lips parted when she noticed the stones of the collapsed bridge shifting in a peculiar manner across from them and her nails dug in Durin's arm. "Can you please stop it!?"

"No!" –Durin bellowed- "Reveal yourself you ugly monster! Show your face to me! Are you afraid of a tiny Dwarfling?! Come out here and show yourself! Come out here and I will tear your heart out of your chest with my bare teeth! Make my dad better you grimy rotten slug!"

Celebriel felt the hair on the back of her neck standing on end. "Stop it…can you please just stop it?"

Durin turned to her. "What's up with you? Are you afraid of a bunch of ruins?"

Celebriel's face froze in terror and her eyes grew wide. "Behind you…."

Durin frowned. "What?"

"Behind you…" she muttered and her whole body quivered.

Durin looked around and saw a black mist crawling out of the ruins and towards them. Even though they should have both made a run for it, they were frozen still as if something was keeping them there.

Celebriel was shaking violently from head to toe, obviously very much affected by the darkness that was oozing out of the broken walls and ruined columns. "We-need-to-go…." Her voice was guttural.

Durin felt his spine curling inwards when he saw the tentacles of darkness approaching his boot and almost wrapping around it. That is when he heard those whispers awaking in his mind once more and he covered his ears in order to stop them. The world started fading away when suddenly a pair of strong arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him back. He crushed on the ground hard and the air got knocked out of his lungs. For a few moments he was bereft of the ability to speak, but then he heard Celebriel's voice screeching. "Are you okay!? Is he okay!?"

"Son, open your eyes. Look at me." A warm voice urged him.

Durin looked up and his eyesight began clearing quickly. "Nameless?" He murmured.

The Petty Dwarf pursed his lips and looked at the black mist that was still lingering at the borders of the stronghold. "What the hell got into you? Why did you challenge that damned place in this foolish manner?"

Durin sat up woozily. "This place is making my dad sick. I want it destroyed!"

"I heard that part. Actually all of Mirkwood heard it alongside these cursed ruins. The darkness that resides in there tried to get you or warn you. No matter which of the two, you are not going anywhere near it again." Nameless said and forced a leather pouch close to Durin's lips.

"Did you save me?" Durin said and took a few sips of what tasted like dirty water.

"I pulled you away from that black fog. If you can call that a rescue then by all means do so, but keep away from it. Is that clear?" Nameless' voice was stern.

Durin closed his eyes and nodded. "I will."

"Why did you come here anyway?" Nameless asked.

"He keeps hearing whispers from this place. We wanted to find out what they were." Celebriel said with a voice that was still shaking by tremors of the aftershock.

"Well, your tries ended up in near death. Stand up young man, I am taking you back to your father." Nameless pulled up the young Prince who was not in the mood to make any objections. Neither was Celebriel who felt a wave of relief now that there was an adult near them. As Nameless led Durin back to the tree that had all his things gathered, Celebriel looked at the ruins. There was no trace of those black foggy tentacles that almost engulfed Durin before and everything looked eerily quiet once more.

"Will you escort us out of the forest?" She looked hopefully up at the older Dwarf.

"There is no question about that. Look at him. He sprayed his leg on the fall." Nameless pursed his lips.

Durin rubbed his ankle. "I don't want my dad to see you. He might imprison you."

"I will take my chances young man. Now come here." Nameless swept him up in his arms.

"Are you going to carry me back? There is no need." Durin made to get down.

"Stand still because you are not as light as I have expected. Yes, I am carrying you back." -Nameless said casually and then turned to Celebriel- "Can you please take my satchel?"

Celebriel smiled widely. "Sure."

"What about my dad?" Durin frowned at the man.

"I don't care about the King seeing me. I just want to see you back with your parents safely. Now don't move too much, because I am not as young and strong as I used to be." Nameless rebuked and moved towards the only path that led in and out of the clearing around Dol Guldur when suddenly they heard the distant galloping of many horse hooves.

Durin grabbed Nameless' arms. "Stop…listen."

Nameless frowned and tightened his arms around the young Prince. His free hand reached out and clutched Celebriel's hand. "Get behind me young lady." His voice dropped and he placed Durin down. He stepped in front of the children and drew his bow. He loaded it with an arrow and stood at the ready expecting the worst. When the first horse came out to the clearing he came face to face with a pair of fiery azure eyes behind another arrow and Nameless recognized immediately the noble bearing of King Thorin.

"Where is my son?" Thorin spat and his hand tightened around his bow.

Durin sprang from behind Nameless and stood in front of him with his hands outstretched. "No dad! Don't hurt him! He saved us!"

Nameless lowered his weapon and placed it to the ground gently. Then he lifted his hands in defeat. "I didn't do anything to him." He whispered and his eyes followed closely the pointy golden tip of the King's arrow that was aimed straight between his brows.

Thorin tightened his thighs around his horse to keep it still. "Durin get away from him!" He commanded.

Durin planted his feet steadily on the ground. "You are not listening to me dad! This man saved us!"

Celebriel jumped in front of Nameless too. "He helped us Sir! Don't shoot!"

Dwalin came next to Thorin and raised his war hammer as more horses were nearing the clearing. "Who is this?"

"Someone who is being fiercely protected by my son." Thorin spat vehemently.

"Dad please, lower your weapon. Mr. Nameless didn't do anything to me." Durin begged.

Thorin's brows wrinkled in mild confusion. "This is Nameless?"

"Am I that famous?" Nameless mouth formed a ghostly smile.

Durin sighed and grabbed his head. "Yes dad. He saved me a few moments ago."

Thorin used his bow to lower Dwalin's weapon. "Stand down…" –he said and then turned to his son- "He saved you from what? "

Celebriel took over eagerly. "Durin was standing in front of the Black Hill, yelling at it and provoking it. Suddenly a black fog came out of nowhere and wrapped around his boot. Durin fainted, but Mr. Nameless quickly pulled him away. I don't know what would have happened if he hadn't been here."

Thorin felt his back curling inwards. His eyes released this man from their fiery glare and turned their menace towards the Black Hill. He dismounted quickly, threw his bow down and strode furiously towards the ruins. He pulled Orcrist and looked above his shoulder at Nameless. "Where did that shadow come from?"

"At the foot of the Hill, over were you are standing approximately." Nameless said.

Dwalin rushed to the King. "Thorin I don't think it is wise for you to get so close to this place!" He cried.

That set Durin in motion also. "Dad get away from it!"

Thorin gave one last look at his boy and then turned to the Black Hill. "Did you just threaten my son, you bloody filth?" He whispered.

No answer came from the ruins, but the moment his foot took a step closer, the black shapeless mist twirled through the columns and the broken walks so quickly that neither Thorin nor Dwalin would have ever had the chance to react. It enveloped the King so quickly and with such entirety that every single ailment -which had been forgotten in his dire need to find his son- came back a thousand fold and crushed upon him like a rampart war-carriage. As the mist entered his nostrils and his mouth the whispers turned into a growling roar that made his ears and his nose bleed. Orcrist slipped off his hand and the world turned black the same moment Nameless' arms wrapped around his waist and drew him away from the poisonous mist with the help of Dwalin.

"DAD!" Durin howled and fell on top of his father.

"Not now boy, wait!" Dwalin grumbled as he tried to open up Thorin's tunic in order to feel his pulse.

Nameless used a dirty cloth in order to clean the King's nose that was bleeding profusely.

"DAD! DAD! Can you hear me!? DAD!" Durin screamed.

Dwalin looked at Nameless. "Help me." He spat between his teeth.

Nameless enfolded the young Prince in his arms and pulled him away from his father. "Calm down son, give him a moment to catch his breath."

Durin kicked and punched blindingly. "Let me see him! Is he alive?! DADDY!" He bawled.

Celebriel was standing in the middle of the field holding her ears and sobbing. She didn't know what to do.

"Hush son…everything is going to be alright…" Nameless drew Durin's head on his chest to stop him from looking at the unconscious body of his father.

"Leave me alone! Let me go to him! LET ME GO!" Durin howled.

Dwalin's eyes burst with tears from the frustration he felt as he tried to find even the slightest pulse. "Come on, come on, come on! Come on your bloody bastard!" He yelled and slapped Thorin's face, but got no response.

That is when the rest of the horses appeared at the clearing.

Fili alighted and run madly to his uncle. He fell on his knees and cupped his face. "What happened to him?"

"He got attacked by that accursed place! I cannot find a bloody pulse! Help me open up his vest. We need to help him breathe!" -Dwalin grumbled and then turned to his best friend furiously- "Wake up! Do you hear me?! Wake up! I am not going to raise your children for you! Wake the hell up!" His roars were easily overlapped by Durin's deafening screams, but there was a voice that managed to echo louder than all the rest.

Eilin's howl of anguish resounded through the Elven paths of Mirkwood and reached the rocky face of the Lonely Mountain, making everyone's blood freeze in their veins with its intensity.

"THORIN!"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Call darkness. Call shadow to the Black tower. Devour this filthy Dwarfish ruler. Bring him to the dung pit and bind him.  
> ** By Thror's hammer


	21. The Oathkeeper and her Majesty

 

_Thorin felt his eyes heavy and dry. He swallowed an equally dry throat and sensed something dripping down his back. An involuntary tremble shook his body and he tried to raise his head in order to see around, but to no avail. "Eilin?" He croaked._

_No response._

_He tried again and this time he heard his voice resonating. "Eilin?"_

_He blinked several times to clear up his vision and slowly he recognized that he was kneeling upon a wet stony floor inside the large, dark, humid cavern that reminded him so much of his recent nightmares._

_So this was another dream?_

_He tried to move his hands, but the sound of chains rattling ominously registered faster than the pain which tore through his wrists. He looked up sharply and immense pain tore through his shoulder-blades and upper back. That was not quite right. Inside a dream he never felt pain, furthermore so excruciating. He looked around him. Both his arms were chained to the walls by thick shackles._

_How in the name of heavens did he end up manacled between these walls in the middle of bloody nowhere? The last thing he remembered was approaching that accursed stronghold after learning that it had almost captured his son. Then he recalled nothing until he woke up to this….this…whatever this was. He observed his surroundings trying to understand if there were any doors or windows in this dungeon, but saw none. He made an effort to move his legs, but his body was so tightly stretched that it was impossible for him to move more than a couple of inches in each direction. Hardly enough to allow him to gather the momentum he needed in order to break his chains._

_However his famous stubbornness and his need to be free wound him up to find a way around this impossible situation. If there was one thing that Thorin Oakenshield feared in life that was imprisonment. Any kind of captivity mental or physical was pure torture for him, so finding himself in such restraints was causing him to become gradually manic. So his initially careful efforts to measure the leeway he had available between the chains and try to find a good holding on them, ended up after several failed attempts to eruptions of testosterone filled wrath which he tried to vent on his chains to no avail. His superior strength that was so renowned amongst his kin did little to weaken his manacles. The more he tried, the more they became tighter on his arms and pulled them further apart until the pain became so unbearable at his back that he howled in pain and recoiled._

_"For fuck's sake…." He cursed as sweat dripped steadily down his back and all over his face._

_"I thought I taught you well and good how not to blaspheme son."_

_The well-known quality of that voice kicked all the air out of his chest with one thwart and Thorin found himself gasping. "Father?" He hissed._

_Silence reigned in the shadows._

_Thorin's brows creased in disbelief. "Father?" His voice was strained._

_No answer still._

_Thorin's arms pulled both chains simultaneously and they rattled angrily once more, before stretching him so viciously that he moaned in pain. "Fuck!" He repeated, half hoping his father would intervene again to set his manners straight._

_He didn't have to wait long. "No matter how bad you feel right now, learn how to control your emotions and don't allow vulgarity to take over your genteel nature!"_

_"Are you fucking kidding me right now?!" Thorin spat between his teeth._

_"Temper son…temper…" Thrain's voice was calm._

_"Come out so I can see you!" Thorin pulled the chains furiously, but only managed to flare up the pain on his shoulder-blades._

_No reply came this time._

_"Come out!" Thorin thundered and his long hair whiplashed his face as he tried to free himself once more. He waited with baited breath for some response._

_None came._

_"Father, come out here or I will curse so fucking hard I will make your ears bleed!" He yelled, gradually becoming more frantic both at his captivity and at his father's audacity to scold him instead of helping him go free._

_Complete silence…_

_Thorin eyes stung and began burning with the precursors of tears. Something that made his brows meet angrily. Those imaginary restraints and his father's teasing shouldn't have been enough to draw tears from him. He was more than two hundred years old with ample experience at the hard side of life. So why did this nightmare bother him so much? Was it those chains that he hated whole-heartedly? The fact that someone managed to imprison him, or his father's nonchalant voice and unwillingness to reveal himself? He didn't know what it was, but the moment he felt the first tears springing from his eyes and rolling down the side of his nose, his anger drew back enough to allow his despair to make an appearance._

_"Come on dad…" The young Prince Thorin made an impromptu appearance from the edge of time and took him by surprise. As he kneeled there, looking at the Longbeard sigil sawn at the knee of his leather trousers….as he observed the sweat that dripped from his bearded chin staining the geometrical shapes, he felt desperately out of place and time. He inhaled deeply and heard his breath reverberating upon the stone walls of his prison._

_"I haven't heard you speak to me this way in ages. You don't know how much I have longed to hear you call me that." Thrain's voice sounded much closer this time._

_Thorin inhaled sharply and looked up. "Dad?" His eyes squinted as he tried to make out the skeletal outline that stood a couple of feet away from him._

_Thrain kneeled down and the fading light from the torches sketched his features to Thorin's dismay. He looked so old, so disheveled, and full of wounds. He seemed to have been emptied somehow. As if his strong and resilient body had somehow been sucked out of his skin, leaving behind a crooked carcass with a few grey hair and a flea bitten beard. The only thing that still remained untouched in his destroyed face was the battle tattoo on his forehead._

_"Are you alive? Is this a dream?" Thorin's anger dissipated under his need to talk to his father._

_Thrain's figure shrank away from the light of the torches fearfully. "I am not alive son."_

_The hope in Thorin's eyes blew out like a candle, leaving behind it only darkness. "This is a dream…" He whispered._

_"I don't think you are very well my boy. This isn't exactly a dream." Thrain said and crept over to him._

_Thorin cringed in his need to pull away from this specter. This was not his father, just a creation of his imagination, inside a nightmare that he didn't know how to wake up from._

_"What is it then?" Thorin murmured and saw his dad's crooked fingers approaching his cheek. Every single thread in him was screaming to get away, but his chains were not allowing him._

_"A sentence." His father replied and his fingers skimmed Thorin's skin._

_He shuddered expecting them to be frozen and rough, but instead they felt warm and a well-remembered soothing sensation came to sweep the fear away and cover him with an unexpected feeling of peace. Very similar to what he felt when his father used to hug him before tucking him in bed. His eyes closed and his lips parted as more tears escaped against his will. He turned his head and placed a trembling kiss on his father's palm. "I am so sorry I abandoned you." He said and the long forgotten emotions set him adrift a merciless sea of guilt._

_"But you didn't. You always searched for me. You are still searching for me, even now that you are captured inside your own mind by the magic of the same cruel darkness that stole my life." Thrain said._

_"I wanted so much to find you, yet I failed." Thorin whispered defeated._

_"I was taken from you, by the same filth that is also trying to take you away from your family. Beware." Thrain frowned and his fingers clutched Thorin's jawline._

_"Tell me what to do to get out of here!"_

_Thrain shook his head. "That is something that you have to figure out on your own."_

_"You never found the exit out of your prison, did you?" Thorin's eyes welled up with fresh tears._

_"I couldn't. Even though I knew I had you and Dis still alive back home, I still couldn't find the way out. I got trapped in my mind by the darkness for so long. I couldn't break my chains and then I was too far gone to find a way in real life. Don't let that happen to you my boy. You are too smart for that. Too brave….fight it!" Thrain's jawline flexed._

_"How? I cannot even pull on these chains, without them tearing my back apart!" Thorin spat and closed his eyes against the assault of his unbridled emotions that he had always been keeping under a tight grip all his life._

_Thrain pressed his forehead against his and it was strangely warm. "You will find a way. You always find a way. My son shall find a way to prevail this menace. You will succeed where your grandfather and I failed. You always do."_

_"I don't know how to do it dad." His voice was weak._

_"Instead of fighting against your chains, maybe you should find a way to make them release you, before it is too late." Thrain said quietly._

_"Before it is too late?" Thorin murmured, feeling a dreaded sense of finality following those words._

_"You have made oaths in your life that you must fulfil my son! Pledges to protect your family! They need you as much as you need them. You are an oathkeeper…go back and live up to your vows!" Thrain gritted his teeth._

_Thorin closed his eyes and tried to regulate his breathing which had become erratic. When he spoke his voice was coarse, but resolute. "Am I dying?"_

_Thrain's eye looked at him solemnly._

_"Not in here in the world of dreams. Out there in real life, am I dying father? Is that why you are here?" Thorin repeated._

_Thrain looked away and his hand clutched his son's cheek lovingly. "I am here because you called me…me and all the others that are waiting in the dark to speak to you."_

* * *

_"Once upon a time there was a kingdom, a beautiful one_

_Surrounded in darkness of an ancient war_

_They say there was a king, this wandering soul_

_Who's cursed by a demon, forever…"_

Eilin couldn't finish her song. Her enchanting voice stopped with a breathy exhalation of anguish and her eyes overflowed with tears for the hundredth time since she woke up next to him. She reached out and caressed his bandaged hand gently.

"Hey…everything is going to be okay." Rhiannon's voice softened the edges of Eilin's pain.

"I cannot even sing for him without breaking down in tears." Eilin dabbed a cloth under her swollen eyes gently. Ever since she found him unconscious in front of Dol Guldur she hadn't slept at all, apart from a few hours this morning alongside his pillow, but even that repose was cursedly interrupted by her nightmares. Three times she woke up calling his name, certain that he died whilst she was sleeping.

"I am sure he heard your song and he is smiling in there." Rhiannon pressed her hand.

"I don't think he can hear me." Eilin said quietly and a sob broke free from her throat.

"Come-come. You are talking as if he is gone even though he is still here with us." Her best friend stroked her hair tenderly.

"He is burning up." Eilin's apprehensive gaze fell on her husband's pale features and then at his chest that was undulating quickly with his irregular breathing.

Rhiannon touched the back of the King's hand. "He is not warmer than he was last night. You heard what King Thranduil said. He is fighting off the poison that is running in his veins. The Elves have worked their magic on him. He is going to recover."

Eilin entwined her fingers through his gently and caressed the wounded tip of his forefinger carefully. "I didn't even notice his hand swelling up. I was so caught up in our fights and then so dedicated in resolving our misunderstandings that I didn't notice his bloody hand was twice the size it was supposed to be." She sounded mad at herself.

"No one noticed. Not even Lord Balin who is the most meticulous when it comes to the King's well-being." Rhiannon said gently.

"He didn't tell anybody he was feeling unwell. Why?" Eilin's brows creased as her eyes glanced wretchedly at his pallid countenance.

"I am sure he spared you the knowledge to stop you from worrying to death. I don't know why he didn't speak to the others though." Rhiannon sounded tentative.

"Probably didn't want them choking him with their solicitude. It’s so like him." An empty outline of a smile appeared at the hairpin of her mouth.

"He is surrounded by over-worriers I think." Rhiannon reciprocated the smile.

Eilin stroked his hair gently. "No, simply by people who love and want to help him, but he prefers to do it alone. He chooses to do almost everything alone even though he cannot and mustn't try to carry more than his share. Look at the results of his pigheadedness now."

"Lord Elrond said the poison from that black blade was potent enough to kill a Mûmakil. It was only because of the antiquity of the blade that King Thorin suffered only such minor side effects. He was solely lucky." Rhiannon gaze fell at the bed.

"Minor?" Eilin's voice croaked.

Rhiannon pressed her lips apologetically.

"He is in a comatose state, burning up and we don't know when and if he is going to come back to us. Minor?" Eilin's eyes burned through her.

Rhiannon looked away.

"What about the black mist that surrounded him a few moments before he lost consciousness? Have you forgotten about that? Elrond told me that apart from the old poisoned blade my poor husband also fell victim to Sauron's black magic." Eilin spat angrily.

"Which is debilitated though. King Thorin was lucky once more. The Deceiver's strength without the One Ring is so weak that it didn't manage to kill either him or Lord Durin." Rhiannon tried a nervous smile.

"My baby boy had help in order to escape that darkness, but my husband didn’t. That monstrosity hiding behind the Ash Mountains may have succeeded in finishing at least half the job." –Eilin's hand began trembling above Thorin's from the surge of the emotions that were throttling her- "I swear to you Rhiannon. If my man dies from this I will march up to Mordor and destroy the filth of Barad-dûr myself!" She spat vehemently.

Rhiannon inhaled deeply and her eyes teared up. "I know."

Eilin tried to control her breathing and the tears that sprang fresh from her eyes. Then she gazed back at Thorin's ashen mask and her countenance became miserable once more. "Then I will join him." She murmured.

Rhiannon's brows creased. "You have three children to take care off."

"Dis sees them as her own children …." Eilin closed her eyes and propped her forehead on his cheek. Her hand covered the side of his face and caressed it tenderly.

"Be serious!" Rhiannon chastised.

"I am." –Eilin whispered- "I cannot live without him."

Rhiannon's arms enwrapped her lovingly. "I am here to take care of your babies too. The whole of Erebor will be there to raise them up, but they don't need us. They need their mommy and daddy. They need you."

Eilin sniffled and her quivering lips touched Thorin's warm cheek. "I know."

"You are a mother now, not only a wife. You have your children to think of above all. Do you think your husband would have enjoyed hearing you declare that you'd abandon your babies to join him in death?" Rhiannon's hands clutched Eilin's shoulders.

"He'd probably scold me like no tomorrow if he ever heard me speaking like that." Eilin's lips formed a distressed smile.

"Well, I am here to do it for him. Forget about self-sacrifice and all those noble ideas that fill your beautiful head. You are a mom. He is a dad. You have three lovely children who need you here with them. If one of you cannot be here, then the other must fill the place of both." Rhiannon rejoined as calmly as possible even though she wanted to slap Eilin back to reason.

The Queen released an exhalation of suffering on her husband's face. "You are right."

"Then what are you going to do?" Rhiannon yanked Eilin around.

Eilin gazed at her with unspeakable desolation. "I will stay here to take care of our babies."

Rhiannon's lips formed a pained smile. "That's it and we will all be here to help you."

A sob of anguish escaped Eilin.

"But above all he is going to be here to help you, okay?" Rhiannon hurried to add and nodded towards the bed with raised brows.

Eilin's body shuddered hard. "You believe that? "

Rhiannon frowned with determination. "Of course!"

Eilin's eyelids fluttered and another surge of tremors froze her spine. She turned and touched Thorin's temple with her lips. "Did you hear that my heart? You are a dad now. You are not allowed to rest yet. You have to come back and take care of your babies. You have to come back and take care of me." She murmured breathlessly.

Rhiannon gritted her teeth. "Exactly…."

Eilin nodded and her fingers clutched his jawline selfishly. "Do you hear me Thorin? You have to come back for me and our children. We love you so much…" Her words paled in front of the feelings that were choking her. Her fight for breath burst forth in a gush of moans that Eilin couldn't control. She held onto him like a barnacle as her body emptied all the anguish she felt.

Rhiannon held Eilin in a tight hug, trying to sooth down her suffering for a long time as the Queen's body quivered hard under her wails of despair.

Eilin didn't know how long she cried with his face held tightly between her hands and her trembling lips ghosting his, but soon her tears slowly dried out leaving her body weak and overcome. Only then was she able to address Rhiannon again with a raspy voice. "Can you please go and check on Durin? I haven't seen him since this morning when he came to say good morning to his father."

"Lady Arwen and her niece took him for a ride in Mirkwood to help get his mind off things. They are still with him." Rhiannon placed a gentle kiss on Eilin's cheek.

"Thank you. Do you have any news from Dwalin and Erebor?" She closed her eyes and leaned her head on Thorin's shoulder, after making sure that he was well tucked in under the quilt.

"He hasn't returned yet." Rhiannon replied softly.

"Make sure when he arrives to come see me immediately." She muttered.

Rhiannon. "Yes, my dear. Why don't you get some sleep too? You look exhausted. I will stand guard for him. Don't worry."

Eilin shook her head and clutched Thorin's hands tightly. "I will sleep right here. I want to feel him. I want to make sure he is breathing."

Rhiannon's eyes filled with sadness. "Want me to make you something to eat or drink?"

"No." Eilin exhaled.

Rhiannon smoothed back her hair tenderly. "You wish me to remain?"

"No, go find my baby boy and look after him for me." Eilin whispered.

Rhiannon pursed her lips and watched her affectionately for several moments before deciding to leave her. She walked to the door quietly and closed it behind her with many tears of staining her eyes and the cruel grip of fear squeezing her stomach.

* * *

 

When Eilin opened her eyes again it was much darker and the beautiful lanterns in the room had all been lit up. Her eyelids fluttered for a few moments as she tried to focus. Them her fingers squeezed around the tourniquet that was on Thorin's hand and she gasped. She looked up at his face straightaway and when she observed several silver tendrils trapped on his forehead by small beads of sweat the glistened like diamonds under the soft hue of the lights her heart lost its beat.

"My beloved?" She breathed and her hand smoothed away his hair, aching to feel his temperature. When she felt the warmth of his skin brushing against her fingers she moaned his name and her face broke in despair once more. "Thorin? Can you hear me?" She stood up eagerly and leant above his head. She wiped away the few sweaty beads that hadn't been enough to bring down his temperature, but awoke a small flare of hope in her heart.

His body was fighting off the poison. He hadn't given up. She enclosed him on her bosom and touched his ear with her lips. "I know you are fighting this. I know you don't want to give up my heart. I am right here with you." –Her hand seized his frantically- "We will not leave you alone in this. Not even for a moment. Why didn't you talk to me? Why didn't you tell me how awful you were feeling? I would have helped you. Can you feel my hand?" -She kissed his pointy ear and squeezed her eyes tight- "Please show me that you can feel my hand…." She held her breath, waiting for a sign. She counted inwards and tried to distinguish even the slightest sign from him.

There was no response.

She exhaled and a deep frown formed on her eyebrows, but she gritted her teeth against the misery that threatened to overtake her. She was here to help him overcome, to support him and their children, not break apart on him. Her hand twisted firmly around his and she nodded, coming to a decision in her internal debate. "Yes you will be fine. I know you will. Thorin Oakenshield doesn't just keel over and die. You are my pillar, but so am I yours. Your children are waiting to see you, do you hear me? Dis has Rhianaye and Thrarin and they don't know what a big mess you are in right now, so shape up and come back to us quickly because they miss their daddy okay? As for our brave little Durin, he is more like you than you'd ever wish him to be. Stubborn to the bone, brave beyond words and loyal to a fault. He didn't want to go back to Erebor when Elrond brought you to the Elven Realm to heal you. He insisted to stay here and help. No one was able to tear him away from you, except from little Celebriel and her aunt Arwen. You must thank them when you wake up for drawing his attention away from your deteriorating state long enough to keep him sane. Do we have a deal?" She spoke to him quietly, with a doting motherly tone he would have probably silenced with many kisses had he been awake. And as she murmured words of love and devotion to his ear her hand was cooling his slightly sweaty brow with a clean wet cloth.

Over and over again she placed it on his forehead, cheeks and his inner arms while cooing to him words of eternal devotion. She checked on his swollen hand, but didn't take the tourniquet off. She wanted to allow Oin to do that for her when Dwalin brought him back from Erebor. She continued her gentle scolding and affectionate attentions, slowly forgetting her hopelessness. Those few beads of sweat had given her so much hope even though his temperature didn't feel as cool as she would have wished it to be. On and on she went strengthened by the confidence that he hadn't given up. It was the soft knock on the door that stopped her from buzzing around him like a bee, checking on everything and straightening out his covers constantly. She looked up sharply and frowned. "Come."

The door opened up and Dwalin entered with a fierce hastiness that overtook his surroundings. "How is he?!" He bellowed.

Eilin's face lit up. "I just felt the first droplets of sweat breaking on his forehead just now, but keep your voice down." –Then she turned with a sweet, but sad smile towards Balin who stumbled behind his brother- "Thank you for coming back so quickly."

"How is he lassie?" The old advisor hurried next to Thorin.

She recognized the anguish in his features and her heart went out to him. "Both Lord Elrond and King Thranduil said that he is fighting off the poison. He is slightly sweaty which is amazing news!"

Balin closed his eyes and gripped Thorin's good hand tightly. "He got trapped in there by the Abhorred Dead, didn’t he?"

Eilin covered his hand with hers. "He is going to be okay."

Balin looked up at her hopefully. "I know lassie."

"We've all seen him come back from the dead once…" Her voice failed her.

"More than once." Dwalin crossed his arms and looked at the floor dejected.

Eilin nodded. "He is going to come back again. He has a family to take care off, he has three children, a kingdom, an Alliance….I will not allow him to leave." Her voice filled with newfound determination.

Balin emptied himself on a chair next to her and gazed crestfallen at his King.

"Do you believe me Lord Balin? I will not allow him to leave!" She hissed and her eyes burned with a fiery fortitude that Balin had not been expecting.

"I believe you my girl." -He exhaled and a ghostly smile formed on his lips- "You said he is sweaty?"

Eilin touched his brow with her lips. "His temperature feels slightly better than it was this morning. I have to inform Lord Elrond about this."

"Not right now. Give Oin the opportunity to see him first. He is waiting outside." Dwalin said.

Balin looked up at that. "Nevertheless we won't let him in until we have spoken of something that is of utmost importance and only meant for your ears my Lady."

"Very well. I am listening." Eilin scowled.

Balin gave a guarded look at his brother who walked and stood sentinel by the door. "We have a bit of a crisis between Erebor and the Elven Realm taking place at the moment and we need your assistance."

"What kind of crisis?" She sounded incredulous.

When Balin made sure no one was going to listen in on them he gave an attentive look at the unconscious King and then revealed a scroll from the inside pocket of his vest. "Before befalling sick to Sauron's darkness our King gave some rather risky orders that could create a conflict in the Alliance and unfortunately he is not awake to take them back."

"What orders?" Eilin's hand tightened around Thorin's in order to get support from his presence.

"Add to that madness, that he gave them to the most impossible person in Erebor!" Dwalin grumbled.

Balin signed and raised his brow at Eilin. "Lord Gloin's son, Gimli. He is a feisty youngling with an itch to create trouble with the Elves. He hates their guts. He has already gathered enough masons from Erebor and Dale to build a new city. He is ready to march with a division in order to launch an attack and nobody can stop him since the order was given to him straight from the King."

Eilin lifted her hand to stop them. "What did Thorin tell him to do?"

Balin hesitated for several moments before opening the scroll and passing it over to Eilin. "The demolition of Dol Guldur." He said flatly.

She took it and began reading attentively. When she finished she gave it back to Balin. "My husband did very well." She said impassively.

"Lassie you don't understand…." Balin tried, but she interrupted him.

"That place almost killed my son, it has almost claimed my husband! I am sitting here holding his hand praying for him to come back to his children, not knowing if he is going to live or not. All this misery befell my family because of those cursed ruins! Let Lord Gimli bring it down to the ground. I don't ever want to see it again. I don't want it to be near my family!" Eilin spat.

Balin's eyes darted fearfully to Dwalin who inhaled deeply. "The whole Northern Alliance might be depending on this order my girl. I understand that Thorin acted instinctively because he wanted to protect you and his children, but his decision was based on emotions, not reason. Commands such as these that affect the whole Kingdom should be taken by King Thorin, not your Thorin. Can you at least listen to me sensibly? Thorin couldn't heed my advice, because he was obviously affected by the blackness that escaped this place. You are more distanced and much more rational than him."

"And much less stubborn." Dwalin raised his brow.

"Don't patronize me. I am not in the mood." -Eilin warned and Dwalin pursed his lips, but remained silent. Then she turned to Balin- "Why is the Alliance depending on this order? Doesn't the Elven Realm wish to eliminate this threat from its borders too?" Eilin gritted her teeth and forced herself to hear out Thorin's most precious advisor by overlooking her personal feelings.

"The Elven King is not at par with this decision and I don't blame him. Dol Guldur is ancient, it belongs to Thranduil's forefathers. Its very grounds are saturated with Sauron's evil. Do you believe that bringing it down will help you eliminate that shadow from Mirkwood?" Balin said quietly.

Eilin sighed deeply and caressed Thorin's hand.

"No matter how many armies Thorin unleashes towards this place, the ground under it, the very rocks, the dirt it sits upon will still carry the command of darkness. Nothing will bloom there and the rays of the sun will never brighten it up. If the immense strength of the Lady of Light cannot penetrate the secrets it hides behind its evil walls, do you think our masons or our army are going to defeat it? Its malevolence crawled out of those ruins and found your husband in his bed. It attacked him inside the safety of our city. Its corruption is embedded in the very depths of the ground it sits upon. Noble and brave as Thorin's original plan may have been it will accomplish nothing more than anger Thranduil, who is being informed by his people that the King of the North was getting ready to launch an attack at a stronghold that belongs by rights to the Elven Realm, without informing him prior. Do you think that is the wisest command your husband has ever given?" Balin tried to reason.

Eilin felt her throat growing dry and looked at Thorin's closed eyes. She reached out and caressed his forehead affectionately. "I comprehend what you are telling me, but as you said before Thorin acted on emotion and I cannot blame him."

Dwalin came over and sat on the other side of the bed. His eyes fell faithfully on the King's pallid countenance. "I cannot blame him indeed. He was probably suffering from the effects of Dol Guldur far before his decision to attack it, but none of us knew."

"I am sure he did." Her forefinger caressed the thick veins on the back of his hand.

"Neither can I blame him lassie, but Thranduil might. My job is not to assess this sensibly in his stead. We need to sustain the Alliance, which he created with so many sacrifices. We cannot allow such a hasty and tactless command create a rapture between the newfound trust and friendship of our kin with the Elves. We need their allegiance as much as they need ours and currently their King is full of suspicion against our King. We need to find a way to settle Thranduil's worries and stand down Lord Gimli who is rubbing his hands gleefully at the borders of Mirkwood right at this moment." Balin rejoined.

Eilin closed her eyes. "How can we do that my Lord?"

Balin placed the scroll on her lap. "By revoking Thorin's orders."

Eilin looked up at that sharply. "Very well then do so."

Balin pursed his lips and looked at Dwalin who scratched his beard uneasily. "You see lassie, none other than the King himself can revoke his own orders. In his absence his closest of kin must take over according to the law of the Elders."

"So ask Prince Fili to sign. I am sure he will do so if you present your arguments as logically as you have done with me." Eilin shrugged.

Balin sighed. "The only one who is entitled to revoke the King's orders in his absence is his heir, not his nephew."

Eilin scowled. "Therefore Durin."

"Who is underage. He cannot legally sign any papers in his father's stead." Balin rejoined.

Eilin rubbed her forehead. "Are you trying to tell me something that I am missing my Lord? If so please do it because I am too exhausted for this."

Balin pursed his lips and looked at his hands. "In the King's absence and if his heir is underage, the Queen gains full authority over the kingdom. Presently you are in full command of the North lassie."

The silence that befell the room was heavy. Eilin looked up and was unable to utter a single word to respond to what she just heard.

Dwalin rubbed his forehead awkwardly.

Balin leaned over when he saw Eilin awestricken and bereft of speech. "Your signature is the only one that can stop Lord Gimli from marching with our army against Dol Guldur and creating a breach in the trusty friendship between Thranduil and Thorin. It is you the Elven King wishes to talk to in order to set things straight about what King Thorin has done behind his back. You are the only one who can stop your husband's orders, not to mention the only one who can restore his good reputation to the Elven King."

Eilin swallowed heavily and felt the whole world collapsing impressively upon her shoulders. A feeling that she had never experienced before. Hadn't Thorin told her how difficult it was to take on responsibility of so many people not so long ago? How ironic was it that a couple of days later she landed in the very same position, but was far less equipped to deal with the immensity of it all? "I cannot do that." –She murmured feeling absolutely terrified at the prospect of having to deal with all this in Thorin's stead- "I cannot…no…I am just a simple tavern maiden. I don't know anything about politics. I don't know how to rule. You have this all wrong. Ask Dain to take over, ask Fili. Hell even my son will do a better job than me." She said quickly, trying desperately to find a way out of this.

Balin pressed his lips and crossed his arms. "You are not a tavern maiden. You have been our Queen for the last decade. Now it is time for you to act like one. Our King married you and placed you next to him for a reason. Not only to bear his children, but also because he trusted that you would rule wisely in his stead."

"Don't put words in his mouth when he is not here to rebuke them!" She chastised.

"Thorin always trusted your levelheadedness and your sense of justice immensely. He told me that you'd make a much wiser ruler than him." Balin added.

"You are lying just to get me to sign…" She tittered.

"I never lie." Balin frowned.

"He's always trusted you Eilin. I know that too. Now you must take over for him." Dwalin intervened.

Eilin paused for a few moments. "What if I sign this paper and he wakes up to learn that I countermand his command? He is going to be mad at me."

"So let him be mad then." Balin shrugged.

Dwalin threw a loving glance at Thorin hair and smirked at Eilin.

"You think it is as simple as that. You think all this is funny?" Her eyes thinned.

Balin reached out and gripped her shoulder. "I trust in my Queen to make a prudent choice that will save the precious Alliance her husband created by the sweat of his brow. He spilled his blood in order to rule the North and you mustn't allow one emotional decision to destroy everything that he had worked for all these years. Now think of everything that is on the line and understand that only you can undo this. Only you can restore the proper balance. If your husband wakes up and becomes mad that you actually saved the Northern Alliance and his friendship with the Elven King then so be it, don't you think?"

Eilin felt her lips uplifting in a smile of disbelief. "So be it? You think it is easy to overrule Thorin Oakenshield's commands, make him mad and then find a way to pacify him?"

"It is certainly not easy, but who better than his wife to do all of the above?" Dwalin joined in with a caring smile towards his friend.

"Especially since his wife has the legal right to sign in his stead and is given the blessings of the Seven." Balin added.

"The Seven know of this mess?" Eilin looked at him with dread.

Balin pursed his lips. "Yes and they will support your decision to override the King's command in his absence."

Eilin felt the world coming to a standstill and she looked at her husband. She swallowed heavily and pressed his hand tightly.

"I know this is hard for you lassie, but remember we trust in you." Balin squeezed her shoulder.

"My signature, right?" She looked up.

"To save the Alliance and the good graces of your husband with the Elven Realm, yes." Balin nodded.

"And a talk with Thranduil?" She added.

"He has already requested it when he found out about the army that is being prepared to march. He just respects your grievance. Basically he waits for you to reach out to him." Balin replied.

Eilin felt herself curling inwards and jerked Thorin's hand, urging him silently to wake up and help her.

"Thorin had always been the vanguard of Durin’s Folk. Always standing in the front lines ready to take the first blow for all of us. You must become his wingman at this moment. Will you sign my Queen?" Balin pressed.

Eilin gritted her teeth and her hold on Thorin's hand became even tighter, searching for silent support. As she deliberated on her choices and on a way out of this, Dwalin and Balin were exchanging troubled glances. It took her a long time to come to a decision and it was not easy on her. "I will command the temporarily discontinuation of the Dol Guldur march until I have time to read Thorin's orders in more detail and discuss this with king Thranduil. Then you shall have my final decision on the matter, unless my husband wakes up first. Will that do?" She said quietly.

The brothers smiled. “Yes, my Lady.”

"Bring me a clean scroll, a quill and a red candle. Also bring in Lord Oin. I need him to see Thorin's hand immediately. I trust the Elfish medicine, but I trust ours more. No matter how much Erebor dreads the rupture of this Alliance, I dread my husband's ill-health more." -She said with an authority she didn't think she had in her. She carefully removed Thorin's royal ring that bore his sigil and looked at Balin- "What are you waiting my Lord? For Gimli to march at Dol Guldur? You wanted me to stop all this, didn't you?"

That set the old advisor into action. "Clean scroll and quill. Immediately my Lady."

Eilin turned to Dwalin. "Lead Lord Oin in please."

Dwalin smiled at her cunningly. "Very good my Queen."

Eilin's lips formed a ghostly smile as she caressed Thorin's ring. Then she stood up and kissed his brow tenderly. "Will you ever forgive me for stepping in your boots my love?" She whispered and her heart skirted at the dampness of his skin that felt slightly cooler now. She wished to imagine that her determination to take command in his stead was somehow helping him fight off the sickness. Possibly so he could wake up and scold her for trying to become a ruler in his place. She decided to voice that thought. "I am about to overrule your orders. If you hate me doing that wake up and stop me!" She challenged him quietly.

He didn't respond.

She pressed his hand and caressed his cheek affectionately. Then her lips ghosted his and she delighted when she felt his sweat staining her. "I am doing it because I love you more than my life and I need to protect your work. I am doing it to protect you. Please find it in your heart to forgive me." She whispered and pecked him gently. Then she straightened and licked the saltiness of his sweat from her upper lip.

That is when Oin entered the room with an urgency that didn't go well with the fixed resolve she felt inside for what she was ready to do. "He went and did it again, didn't he?" The old medical genius said and dropped his leather satchel on the floor.

"Will you shut it old man and have a look at him?" Dwalin pointed at the bed vexed.

Oin bowed deeply at the Queen. "What happened my Lady?"

Eilin lifted up Thorin's hand and kissed it emotionally. "Serious infection from an Orcish blade that was forgotten through the centuries in Dol Guldur. The Elves believe that it caused most of his health issues, but it was Sauron's dark magic that eventually blew him out. He is fighting both the infection and the after effects of the darkness that touched him."

Oin began unwrapping the bandage the Elves had placed around Thorin's hand. "He is sweating though."

"Just barely and it only just began. The Elves had used their magic on him, but he was hardly able to swallow any of their medicinal brews." Eilin sat down and held Thorin's forearm protectively as Oin check his hand. The scar on his finger had bled on its own slightly, and the Elves had placed several herbs on it to control the infection.

"Hmm…" -Oin rumbled and reached behind his back to retrieve a bowie knife- "All is well and good with elvish medicine, but sometimes more crude measures needed." -He looked up at Dwalin- "Bring over that lantern. I need its fire."

Eilin felt her heart dropping. "What are you going to do?"

Dwalin brought it over and uncovered it. Oin cleaned his blade thoroughly with a wet cloth and then rubbed it all over with the reminders of the herbs that were in the tourniquet. Then he placed it above the strong flame. "I will open up his wound." He said flatly.

Eilin's body squeezed tight defensively. "What?" she paled.

"We need to give the infection a way out in order for him to have a chance to heal quicker. You said he is in a comatose state fighting the touch of darkness so the last thing he needs is to fight a bloody infection as well. This one at least will be easier to control once I release all this puss." Oin said unemotionally.

Eilin bit her lower lip hard. "Will it hurt him?"

"Much less than he is probably hurting right now." Oin rejoined and took the knife out of the fire.

Eilin's countenance plunged when she saw the heat of the bright orange blade.

"Do you want to go out until I finish?" Oin looked at her thoughtfully.

She pulled Thorin's head on her bosom protectively. "No, I am staying right here with him. Dot it." She said.

Oin grumbled at Dwalin. "Come here and hold my cone so I can hear what's going on while I do this!"

Dwalin obliged with a sign of impatience. "Get on with it you old troll."

Eilin felt terrifyingly mesmerized by the blade that touched Thorin's swollen finger and kissed his temple. "Hang on my heart. I am right here." She murmured and tightened her body in his stead, as if expecting the blade to cut her own skin.

What happened next was impressive to see and something she'd not easily forget. The moment the blade slashed through his skin, a mass of yellow and pink ooze almost exploded out of it and stained both Oin's tunic and Dwalin's trousers. Eilin yelped and pressed her lips on Thorin's forehead. "Shit…." She murmured, bewildered.

"Bloody hell, I should have expected that." Oin spat while Thorin's finger spewed all his sickness upon the floor. A foul stench filled the air and Eilin gagged and closed her eyes tightly.

Dwalin rushed to open up the window. "Bloody Elves….his fever at least could have been easily controlled had they done this sooner." He barked.

When nothing else was coming out of Thorin's finger on its own accord, Oin pressed the wound, forcing it to expel more. "Ah…I feel relieved watching this." Oin murmured mesmerized.

Eilin's eyes flew open when she felt Thorin tense slightly under her. "Oin, wait!"

Dwalin turned around quickly.

Eilin looked up. "I felt him clenching while you were pressing his finger! I know it was not my idea. He is still in there, possibly feeling everything that is happening!"

Dwalin loomed above his best friend, vexed. "Of course he is still in there and I hope he is feeling everything. He is worth all that pain for not speaking a word to me!"

Eilin’s jawline flexed. “Oh, come on now.”

Oin looked at Dwalin. "Take a mop and clean out the floor or else this stench of death will kill us all."

Eilin kissed Thorin's cheek firmly. "This sickness had been trapped inside him all this time and I didn’t know."

"I swear when he wakes up I am going to slap him upside in the head!" Dwalin grumbled.

"If he wakes up." Eilin looked at her husband tentatively.

"Oh you bet he will and then he will have to deal with the whole of me!" Dwalin grumbled and began wiping the floor.

Eilin wanted to laugh at those words, but her fear choked that laughter. She enfolded him close to her heart as Oin began cleaning the wound and dressing it up again.

"We will do this again tomorrow." Oin rejoined.

"Again, why?" She frowned.

"We will do it as many times as is needed to get this filth out." The old Dwarf said flatly.

That is when the door opened and the moment Balin came in, he gagged. "What in the name of Mordor is this foul smell!?"

"That is the stench of his infection." Oin said and placed the medicinal herbs back on the wound, after making sure it was clean.

Balin waved his hand around. "It smells like death."

"Bloody elves didn't want to take the responsibility of slashing open the King of the North. You mark my words that is why they didn't do it, not because they are unaware of this method." Oin said angrily and began dressing the wound with a clean bandage.

Eilin's fingers entwined through Thorin's slightly sweaty mane. "Do you think he is in pain?"

"Not really. He seems to be out cold." Oin shrugged calmly.

She felt slightly unnerved by Oin's detachment and decided to voice that. "You don't sound concerned that he might be suffering."

Oin pressed his lips and checked on his thorough work as Balin lingered above his shoulder. His answer was an indignant huff.

Balin decided to speak for him. "This man stitched up your husband when his guts were spilling all over the golden floor of the King's Halls a decade ago. Do you think he'd flinch by slashing open his finger?"

Eilin cringed and a strong shudder rode down her back. "For two days now he has been out cold. He didn't show any reaction to what the Elves where doing to him. He even had a difficulty swallowing their medicinal brew. This is the first time since he went out cold, that I felt any kind of reaction from him. It was brief and probably only instinctual against the pain Lord Oin was offering him, but I felt it."

"Don’t ever doubt that he will finally wake up." Balin said nonchalantly and placed the clean scroll, the quill and the red candle on the table for her.

Her eyes filled with dread as she looked at it. "He was attacked by Sauron's magic. People don't return easily from such assaults, Lord Balin. I have the feeling I am the only one here taking my husband's condition seriously….apart from the Elves."

"That is because neither you nor the Elves have seen what me, Balin and Dwalin have. This man literally returned from the dead." –Oin grumbled- "His torso was torn apart and I could see his internal organs as he painted the ice waterfalls bright red with his blood. His heart had stopped beating and he was not breathing, yet he came back! Sauron's stupid magic will do nothing to him. He will come back sooner rather than later and then we'd better all be prepared for the impact, because he's going to be moody."

Eilin exhaled roughly through her nose and closed her eyes. "Oh, I am sure about that." She murmured, remembering that her final words with her husband had been their argument about him and Ith. They never had the chance to talk about it before he decided to fall unconscious. The inevitable discussion between them scared her. However the prospect of seeing him opening his beautiful azure eyes and looking at her again, even crossly was a relief for her heart. She wanted him awake and safe with them once more, despite his nasty mood or the things that he'd hurl at her the moment he remembered how she reacted at the river shore. Not to mention about recalling his orders for Dol Guldur. Oh, he'd be mad at her indeed, no doubt.

"We may seem more casual about Thorin's health than you would expect, because we have all seen him go through hell and return from it. He is too hard to die lassie." -Balin held the chair for her courteously- "Now are you ready?"

Eilin licked her lips and walked over to the table. "Yes, thank you."

"You need assistance in writing it?" Balin crossed his hands patiently.

"Write what?" Oin asked.

"Don't interfere with the Queen's business. Concentrate on the King." Dwalin snapped as he cleaned the floor fastidiously.

Eilin's gaze lingered on her husband for several moments and then she picked up the quill. "Allow me a few moments." She said with a steady voice.

The advisor bowed gallantly and went over to sit by the King. Eilin looked at the empty scroll and felt her stomach dropping. She was the wife of the King, not a true Queen. Eleven years ago she first stepped at Erebor with her hood drawn low over her eyes and bereft of speech. Right now she was holding the fate of the Northern Alliance in her hands, but also the reputation of her husband. She was in heavy disbelief that what she was experiencing was real and not one of Rhiannon's story with Eilin at the role of the noble heroin who just came over to save the name of the most renowned King. She inhaled deeply, leaned over and began writing.

When she finished she read it multiple times without noticing that Oin finished his job and left the room. Then she placed her signature at the bottom of the paper and with a trembling hand wrote under it. "Eilin Longbeard, Queen of Durin's Folk." She felt this title closer to her heart than all the rest as it contained the name of her son. She then spilled some red candle wax under it and used Thorin's ring to seal it. With one last look of apprehension at her creation she turned to Balin. "Do you wish to read it?"

Balin held it with reverence. "I trust my Queen with my life. Do you allow me to depart my Lady so I can give your orders to the Seven?"

Eilin rubbed her forehead. "Certainly. Please make sure my children are okay when you return home."

"They are under Dis' care, worry not." Balin smiled widely.

Eilin's lips formed a faded smile. "Then go, before I change my mind and tear this scroll to pieces."

Balin bowed and shuffled out of the room quickly.

Eilin looked at Dwalin who stood like an angel above Thorin. "Aren't you going to go?"

"No, he needs me and so do you." Dwalin stated calmly.

Eilin's lips turned down and she leaned her forehead on her crossed hands. "I don't believe I just terminated one of Thorin's orders."

"You have some nerve. No one has ever done something like this before. This is a first for him and for Erebor." Dwalin smirked.

Eilin looked up in dread. "I am doomed."

"Oh, yes you are. He's going to reprimand you…." The bodyguard continued.

"I know…" she exhaled defeated.

"…hard…" He added relentlessly.

"Don't remind me…" She frowned and covered her eyes feeling the tentacles of apprehension licking up her spine.

"You did well." Dwalin's voice became quiet.

Eilin peeped between her fingers. "What?"

"His name is on the line. You just saved the Alliance and his status. His order was rushed and not well thought. He is lucky to have a wife like you, ready to save his sorry ass." Dwalin smirked and gazed at Thorin lovingly.

Eilin sighed in relief. "And lucky to have such a loyal friend as you."

Dwalin hesitated for a moment with a deep frown forming on his brow. "He is going to be okay, never doubt that."

Eilin stood up and hurried back to the bed. She sat next to Thorin and leaned down to kiss his cheek. "I am so afraid for him…"

"Have some faith." He pressed her small hand in his large one and she felt her heart thudding in her ears.

She drew Thorin's hand up and kissed it gently. "Let him come back and I will hear every single reproach he has to give me for what I did, I don't care." She murmured upon his skin and felt her back shuddering hard.

Dwalin's mouth formed a rare doting smile that Eilin missed.

They both remained above the King long after the sun had set and when Dwalin finally decided to retire for the night the Queen was already asleep next to Thorin's pillow.

As for their dreams, even though hers were chaotic images of what had taken place the last few days, his was the same lucid nightmare that had drawn him in so deep, making him unable to discern dreams from reality anymore and stopping him from waking up in Eilin's arms.

 


	22. The awakening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive the poor editing on this chapter. I am uploading from phone as my router is malfunctioning because of heavy thunderstorm.

  _Thorin inhaled sharply and opened his eyes. He groaned in pain and felt his back on fire. Had actually fallen asleep inside this nightmare? Was that even possible? The last thing he remembered was talking to his father._

_"Dad?" -His voice sounded used, almost foreign to his ears. He felt warm, terribly sweaty and very thirsty- "Dad where are you? I need some water."_

_Someone shuffled in the darkness close by and Thorin pulled at his chains for good measure, just to make sure that nothing had changed since the last time he tried it. They pulled him back hard and he gritted his teeth with a deep suffering groan. "Fuck, stop it! Stop!" He howled. Maybe his mind would listen to his plead and stop this torture, because he was inflicting those chains upon himself, for whatever reason. He didn't feel any dark menace surrounding him like his father told him. He didn't feel anyone else in this dungeon, but himself and the ghosts of his past, his guilt, his remorse and his secrets. Those damned secrets he kept hidden from everyone…even his beautiful wife. A shudder engaged his spine on that thought and he felt his eyes burning with tears. "Eilin…." He whispered._

_"It is me." The voice of his father rattled his nerves._

_"Water…please." He muttered and his head sank heavily. The pain that his body was experiencing in this position was torturous. All his body wanted to do was lay down on the floor in order to soothe his bruised muscles._

_"I don't have any." His father's face appeared under the dim light of the torches._

_"Why haven't you left yet?" Thorin murmured. His sweaty skin glistened with the flickering fire and his muscles flexed angrily against his restraints for a mere moment before giving up._

_"You are keeping me here. You are keeping us all here with you." His father crawled over to him on all fours and reached out to massage his wrist in order to alleviate his anguish._

_"There are others here?" Thorin's head came up with great difficulty. Even the slightest motion was enough to tear his upper back apart._

_"Everyone you failed…." His father's voice was sad._

_Thorin's eyelids fluttered closed._

_"Or you think you failed." Thrain continued._

_"My wife…." Thorin whispered._

_…..His father remained silent._

_"She is the only one I need here with me. No one else." Thorin's words came out slurred and slow as his dry mouth was making him gag._

_"You'd wish to imprison your beautiful wife in this hell? That is so egotistical of you." Thrain chastised._

_"I don't need you to patronize me. You are in no position to get the moral high ground after everything you did." A long forgotten fire began burning at the depth of his azure eyes upon those words._

_"You are still bitter with me for what happened." Thrain sat back on his shins and gazed intently at his son with his one blazing eye._

_"How can I not be?" -Thorin smirked bitterly- "I abandoned Siv for you and Thrór. I caused her to die and I ended up carrying her death with me through the centuries. Even now that I have a woman whom I love more than life, children than I can die for….even now I feel so ashamed for what I did that I cannot speak to anyone about it."_

_Thrain's eye filled with sorrow._

_"Eilin believes I am so protective and affectionate of our family, but she doesn't know the truth!" Thorin spat and rattled the chains with a fury that had begun to prevail slowly over reason._

_A tear rolled down Thrain's nose._

_"Eilin doesn't know that I betrayed Siv just to help Thrór's failing sanity and your need for control over our rule and Erebor's gold. That filthy ring of power corrupted everything noble inside my grandfather and destroyed your sanity as well. You instilled in me the certainty that this gold sickness ran in our blood, yet neither Frerin, nor Dis had it. Fili and Kili were clear from it. It wasn't a sickness, it was that ring of power. At the end of the day I didn't conquer any illness when I entered Erebor, I just had to conquest the phantoms that you had implanted in me. After I learned what was happening with Thrór I lived expecting to fall sick eventually and fail my people exactly like he did in the end. Nevertheless I was never in any danger, was I? The ring of power was his sickness and so was it yours. It destroyed both you and grandad, but I never touched it and neither did my siblings. If I knew the truth back then I would have taken it from Thror's fingers and I would have destroyed it. Then maybe Siv would have still been alive." Thorin hissed and gritted his teeth against his restraints._

_"We all made mistakes son. Above all me. I will not deny that I acted unfairly to you, but during those times I couldn't think clearly. I just wanted to secure our ruling. I wanted to save my father….by sacrificing my son." Thrain's admittance was so hushed, it broke Thorin's heart._

_"I never forgave you." Thorin hissed.._

_"I know and no matter how many times I will ask for your forgiveness you will never give it to me." Thrain looked up steadily._

_Thorin averted his eyes. "I will not."_

_"Still….think my son. Through all this heartache and pain, would you have met the woman you adore now and have this beautiful family, hadn't things happened this way?" Thrain reached out and caressed Thorin's cheek._

_He shuddered. "My current happiness cannot and must not excuse a loved one's death and my dishonorable decisions that led them to it."_

_Thrain's eye filled with sorrow. "No matter what I did, remember that I love you more than life. Like you love your children now."_

_Thorin's chest welling and he exhaled hard._

_"Therefore heed my advice….Let go of the past. Don't be afraid to speak of it to the ones you love because only that will manage to free you. Don't allow the darkness to play with your weaknesses and trap you in an endless suffering that you will never find a way out of. Don't allow your shame and guilt, makes the ones you love suffer with you. Don't punish your family, by keeping those shameful deeds a secret." His father said quietly._

_"You want me to reveal to Eilin what happened…." Thorin smirked._

_Thrain nodded. "Yes."_

_"Never!" -Thorin thundered- "I will never stain her impressions of me, by showing her the blood I carry on my hands!"_

_Thrain closed his eyes and pulled his hand back. "Then you are doomed."_

_Thorin's jawline flexed. "Not if I manage to get out of here alone."_

_"The only way to do that is by accepting your past. By accepting your mistakes in front of the ones you love. That is the only thing that is going to free you from your binds." Thrain scowled._

_Thorin felt his chest narrowing. "You know…I searched for you endlessly."_

_"I know."_

_"I swore to never to stop until I found you. Hadn't it been for that meddling wizard I would have probably found you in the end." Thorin's brows wrinkled in grief._

_"I am glad he gave you that map and key, because everything that took place after that led you to where you are now….happy. This woman makes you happy, doesn't she?" Thrain cupped his cheek with a bitter smile._

_Thorin felt his heart skirting. "More than you can imagine."_

_"My sweet boy…" -Thrain closed his eyes- "Then she is the only one who can set you free."_

_"How can she? I am in here alone and she is out there…" Thorin muttered discouraged._

_"You are mistaken. She is here with you." Thrain frowned._

_Thorin's eyes flew open. "Here? I don't see her anywhere."_

_Thrain placed his finger on his lips. "You don't have to see her. You can hear her." He whispered._

_Thorin glowered and tried to concentrate at the silence around them. "I can't hear anything." He said after a few moments._

_"Hush…" -His father closed his eyes and raised his head- "Listen it is coming from afar."_

_Thorin silenced even his breath in order to hear what his father was saying and sure enough he did. It was coming from a great distance and it was barely heard._

_A lament…._

_"I know that weeping. I have heard it before in my nightmares." He whispered._

_"She is crying for you." Thrain said._

_Thorin's brow clouded and he pulled at the chains violently. "Eilin?!"_

_No answer, except from that distant lament of her beloved voice._

_He felt his body exploding in goosebumps. "Eilin!" He yelled._

_Still no answer._

_When he realized that his wife was somewhere in this darkness alone and weeping, while he was chained to a wall unable to come to her rescue, an outburst of adrenaline filled his veins and caused his body to tense with such unexpected strength that the chains complained for the first time under the immense strain he put them under. His body thrashed in every direction and his arms jerked the iron shackles so hard that a cloud of debris littered the stony floor. "Eilin I am in here! Eilin!" He howled and pulled again and again. He kicked the floor under him trying to stand up, but his boot slipped on the wet stones and he kneeled again with a roar of agony against the excruciating pain. Then came the fury which make him lash out even harder. His outburst though was for naught and Eilin's soft weeping kept on and on as if she couldn't hear him at all._

_Thrain closed his eyes and crawled back into the shadows, becoming a ghost once more as his son battered his body mercilessly in his need to go find Eilin. When after a long time he didn't have the strength to even lift his head up, he hang lifelessly from his manacles, crying in despair with Eilin's name rolling from his chaffed lips again and again…_ _in a prayer of despair…begging her to hear him._

* * *

 

"He can't stop moaning. All through the night he was like this. I can't help him calm down." Eilin frowned and dipped a cloth in a bowl of water. Then she patted his dry lips gently.

"His fever?" Rhiannon asked and brought over a bucket of fresh water.

"Ever since Oin operated on his finger the fever has gone down, but he seems very agitated. Look at him." -Eilin leaned down and kissed his forehead as Thorin's lips twisted in agony- "He is unable to rest."

"Maybe he is trying to wake up." Rhiannon stood above Eilin's shoulder.

"He looks in pain, not ready to wake up." Eilin said and clasped his hand tightly. She felt her heart sinking and pulled him on her bosom protectively- "Bring me a razor and a clean towel."

Rhiannon frowned. "Whatever for?"

Eilin caressed Thorin's jawline. "I want to shave him."

Rhiannon's lips parted and she remained still, not knowing if Eilin truly meant that.

"Look at his beard. It's starting to look scruffy and Thorin loves to take care of his appearance." She smiled and patted his cheek.

Rhiannon pressed her lips and went to do Eilin's bidding. "Maybe instead of shaving him, you should get in bed and sleep a little. You look exhausted. Did you sleep at all last night?"

Eilin stood up with one last gentle kiss on the back of his hand and tucked it carefully under the covers. She dabbed the wet cloth at the outline of his beard to prepare it. "How can I sleep, while I don't know if he is going to come back to us Rhiannon?"

"I still believe that everything is going to be alright." Rhiannon sounded certain of what she was saying, but apparently it didn't get through to the Queen.

Eilin leaned down and began shaving him with great care. "Did you know Thorin was suffering from nightmares when I first met him after the Battle of the Five Armies?"

Rhiannon shook her head.

Eilin continued her work meticulously and her voice got a dreamlike texture as she remembered the past. "He had them almost every night, even though he admitted it to me only once."

"What were they about?"

Eilin's lips turned down. "He never told me."

Rhiannon looked at her hands and bit her lower lip.

"Him and his damned secrets…No matter how much we love each other, despite the fact that we've been sharing our lives for eleven years and we have three children he never revealed to me his skeletons. Even his presumed infertility was revealed because I forced him with my pregnancy. I sometimes think he wouldn't have said anything had the Gods not blessed us with any children." Eilin's smile faded.

Rhiannon nodded in understanding. "I see."

"I hate to say it, but I am not sure I really know my husband. I know everything about his present, but I know nothing about his past. I know that he had a brother named Frerin who died in the battle of Moria, but I don't know how. I know Thorin was named one of the butchers of Azanulbizar, but I don't know what he did in order to earn that title. I know that his relationship with his father was turbulent, but I don't know the reasons. I have heard very little about his mother and how she perished. He never spoke to me about his relationships with his parents, his hard life in exile after Smaug attacked or his rule in the Blue Mountains. I don't even know anything about the woman he wished to marry prior to me. I only know that she died in rather unfortunate circumstances and that he blames himself for her death."

"Secrets between couples can become a sickness that festers and spreads." Rhiannon's voice jerked Eilin's nerves.

"I know, but I cannot force him to reveal anything against his wishes." Eilin's voice weakened.

"That is true." Rhiannon pursed her lips.

"He is my One. I can take care of him, I can love him, I can satisfy him and I can give him as many children as he wishes, but I haven't been able to unlock his past. Look at us now. Him in there and me out here unable to reach him." Eilin wiped her nose with the back of her hand briefly before continuing priming his beard with exceptional care.

Rhiannon's eyes filled with grief. "My darling…" She muttered.

It took Eilin several moments to speak again as she cleaned his face softly with a warm wet towel. "You know his nightmares stopped after we revealed our feelings towards each other."

Rhiannon looked up and smiled. "That is possibly one of the sweetest things I have heard."

Eilin finished with his face and took a brush to comp his thick mane. " I never saw him having another nightmare during the eleven years we have been together" –She hesitated with a scowl and her eyes got lost at his beard braid that had her wooden bead on it - "Not until recently that is. His nightmares started again a few weeks before this sickness decided to take him away from me."

Rhiannon rounded the bed and clasped her hand, stopping its liquid motion on Thorin's hair. "No sickness has claimed your husband yet sis. Have some faith in him, alright?"

Eilin looked at her with an overwhelmed smile. "Maybe he doesn't want to come back to me because he is afraid of the scolding I am going to give him."

"Why so?" Rhiannon's smile was confused.

"The night of the feast I found him at the river shore with Ith." Eilin whispered.

Rhiannon looked up abruptly and her face paled.

Eilin gritted her teeth. "They were alone. She was holding his face and their noses were almost touching. She looked a breath away from kissing him."

"For the sake of Mahal…." Rhiannon exhaled and sat at the side of the bed.

Eilin closed her eyes. "When he realized I saw them he was shocked in silence, but that didn't last long. He then started shouting at me to hear him out. He declared that this was a serious misunderstanding. Then Roac found him with the news for Durin and we all left."

Rhiannon clasped Eilin's hand with tears in her eyes. "You are not going to believe him uncomplainingly, are you?"

It took Eilin a several moments to answer and when she did her heart was in actual pain. "I already believe him."

Rhiannon rolled her eyes and exhaled in obvious annoyance. "What the hell Eilin?"

She looked up then and even though her countenance was broken and her cheeks stained with tears, her eyes held a determination that made Rhiannon falter. "I told him before disaster found us that I trust him."

"You are acting like an idiot right now. Are you able to see this man for what he truly looks like after so many years of living with him, or are you willingly blind?" Rhiannon shouted and pointed at the bed.

Eilin scowled.

"I know you love each other to death, but have you seen him!? Your husband is absolutely gorgeous and it is not surprising that Ith has fallen for him, hard. He may be honorable and true, but he is also a man and usually when temptation comes along….they don't hesitate much to make the best of it!" Rhiannon hissed.

"Not Thorin, he is different." Eilin said.

"He is a man! Open your eyes!" Rhiannon spat.

Eilin reached out and gripped her forearm with such strength that Rhiannon winced. "Are you are trying to convince me that he is capable of infidelity?"

Rhiannon frowned. "I am trying to protect you."

"You are wrong sis and so was I. I was ready to tell him off, to create a huge argument about Ith again. Even though he was declaring his innocence at that moment my pain didn't allow me to see things clearly. Then death came to claim him and I was never given the chance to set things straight with him. I didn't even have the opportunity to tell him that I believe him…that I trust him." Eilin teared up again.

Rhiannon's countenance fell. "Your love for him and your fear for his illness now is blinding you."

"No, I was blind before and now I see. I should have trusted him from the beginning to deliver like he begged me to." Eilin's voice was barely heard.

Rhiannon bit her lower lip hard enough to draw blood.

"Do you think he will come back to me? Will he give me the chance to tell him again how much I love him?" Eilin whispered and her chest welled.

Rhiannon hugged her friend tightly. "He will….I know he will."

"Will I ever be able to tell him that I want more children from him?" Eilin smiled wistfully.

"More children? Are you crazy woman? The three he blessed you with are equal to a most ferocious army." Rhiannon laughed and squeeze Eilin tightly.

Eilin's chest released a low key moan. "I don't care. As I don't care about what I saw at the river shore between him and Ith. As long as he is alive in order to embrace me, I don't care about anything."

Rhiannon's eyes overflowed with tears and she gritted her teeth. "I know sis…I know."

* * *

 

Nameless stopped at the landing of the staircase and observed the young Prince who was sitting at the bottom, close to one of Thranduil's famous fountains. His small body was curled inwards and he had his arms wrapped around his shins, rocking back and forth. His face was hidden between his knees and his long black hair was creating a curtain around his forearms. Surprisingly this time he was not in the company of those two Elven maidens. Nameless scratched the back of his head and cringed unable to figure out what he was supposed to do. He looked behind him expecting to find someone there willing to help, but they were alone. After a few moments of deliberation, he caressed his freshly washed beard and looked at the young boy. He tilted his head and walked down as quietly as he could. When he reached the bottom of the stairs he stopped and crossed his hands behind his back. "Good evening."

A choked sob was the only thing that came from the Prince.

"You alone?" Nameless cringed at the stupidly obvious question, but he was not well equipped to approach children. Even more so during times of great distress.

Durin turned his head the other way and his shoulders shook with his silent weeping.

Nameless pulled his lips at his inability to be more sociable and cleared his throat. "Do you mind me joining you?"

No answer.

Nameless sat down and straightened the ruffles at the end of his sleeves. When was the last time he had dressed so elegantly and why did he feel so out of place inside these pristine clothes? He tried to tuck the silky frills in, but when they slipped out again he decided to voice his frustrations. "Why in the name of Mahal do they attach such frivolous trinkets at the edge of a bloody sleeve? It is not practical at all."

At first nothing came from Durin, but after a few moments of silence he turned his head hesitantly to the older Dwarf.

Nameless noticed. "I mean no true warrior will be able to handle a sword properly with this gimcrackery hanging from their wrist. Am I right?"

Durin wiped his eyes clean and looked at those sleeves. He nodded silently.

"I don't see you wearing such frivolities." Nameless pointed out.

Durin shook his head.

"Didn't your parents try to dress you like this?" Nameless raised his brow.

Durin raised his hand and gave him a gesture of so-and-so. "Auntie Dis."

"Oh, right." Nameless said quietly.

"I told her I didn't want to, because they were getting caught up at the hilt of my sword during training." Durin leaned his head on his forearm and the look he was giving Nameless may have been despondent, but at least he was talking.

Nameless gave him a nod. "A wise choice only a warrior would have made."

Durin closed his eyes and turned towards the fountain, this time propping his chin on his forearm.

Nameless bit his lower lip and looked at his boots without knowing what to say. He was really not the best person to cheer up this dwarfling.

It was several moments later that Durin spoke again. " I am not a warrior."

"The mighty prince Durin, the heir to the throne of the North not a mighty warrior?" Nameless scowled.

Durin's eyes filled with tears. "A warrior protects his family. I failed to protect my father…."

Nameless pressed his lips and crossed his hands above his knees. "You seem to forget that your father is also a warrior who wants to protect his family. You both tried to do the same, but you had opposite interests. You see, either he was going to protect you and take the hit or you were going to protect him and take it instead. Your father won." Nameless made a conscious effort to keep his voice calm.

It took a few moments for Durin to understand what the older Dwarf told him. Then he turned and looked at him with his huge azure eyes. "I wish I had won."

The defeat Nameless heard in that tone made his heart skirt. He nodded softly. "I am sure you do, but I am also sure your father is happy that he won and protected you instead."

Durin's features twisted in anguish. "He is not waking up…"

"I heard." The silent answer.

Durin lowered his face between his knees again and sniffled.

Nameless' hand reached out and levitated above the boy's shoulder, before gripping it tightly. "Your father is a warrior King. He has been fighting his whole life. As a son of such a man you must always be prepared for the inevitable no matter how hard it might seem. Your father won't ever wish you to outlive him. You will eventually witness his death."

"I don't want to do that now!" Durin spat and kicked in the air angrily.

"He is not dead now, is he?" Nameless rejoined with composure.

Durin whimpered and shook his head. "No."

"He is asleep, correct?" Nameless said evenly.

Another nod from Durin.

"Okay maybe his sleep is a bit deep, but he is getting better every day. I heard his fever went down, isn't that right?"

Durin nodded again.

"Then why are you crying about something that hasn't happened yet?" Nameless frowned.

"I am afraid…" Durin whispered.

"Fear maybe be prudence in the face of danger, but in this case it is causing you more grief. Don't be afraid of something that has not yet come to pass. Live for the moment, don't think about tomorrow. Your father is better today than he was yesterday, therefore allow yourself to smile content that the warrior inside Thorin Oakenshield is still fighting in order to return to his children." Nameless continued with the same smooth tone.

"Do you think he can heard me in his sleep?" Durin's lip pouted and he scratched the leather straps of his boots.

"They say that parents can always hear their children, even in a very deep sleep….even after death." Nameless eyes suddenly burned with unbidden tears and he scowled at his own grim thoughts.

"I speak to him every day but mom doesn't allow me to stay long, because she thinks I will become sadder." Durin murmured.

"Is she mistaken?" Nameless raised his brow.

Durin shook his head. "No."

"Then your mom is wise. Listen to her and find something else to occupy yourself with until your father makes a full recovery."

Durin spluttered and wiped his face. "Have you seen your daddy ever fall sick?"

Nameless sighed deeply. "I saw him die in battle, sword at hand. An honorable death."

Durin shuddered and involuntarily leaned into Nameless. "Were you sad?"

"Immensely. Losing a parent hurts my boy, but it is something we must all experience one day." -Durin closed his eyes as Nameless drew him in gently- "Nevertheless you still have time for that."

"You promise?" Durin leaned his head on Nameless' chest and reached out to hold his hand tightly.

The older Dwarf's heart twitched and his eyes stuck on their joined hands. "I cannot make such a promise, but I am pretty certain he will make a full recovery."

Durin nodded and another shudder rushed through his body. "Can you stay here a bit more?"

"You mean next to you now?" Nameless scowled.

"No in the Elven realm." Durin murmured.

"I am not sure I am wanted here." Nameless voice fell.

"I will talk to my mom and dad already knows you saved me. You can stay with us for as long as you like. Thrarin will be so happy to see you again." Durin looked up eagerly.

Nameless gazed at the boy's pained eyes. "You know your eyes are so similar to your father's."

"And yours look like my mom's. Now will you stay with us?" Durin rejoined quietly.

Nameless looked away and felt his heart skirting. A strong shudder shook his body and he licked his lips. "Why do I have a feeling you were talking about Erebor and not the Elven realm."

Durin smiled and snuggled in his arms. "Don't you need a home?"

Nameless sighed and pressed his lips. "I don't know if a home needs me…." He muttered.

Durin closed his eyes and slowly his body began loosening up as Nameless cradle him loosely.

It took the older Dwarf a long time of peaceful silence in order to deliberate how to draw Durin's attention away from the darkness that lingered in the royal chambers. "Do you know how to make arrow tails?" He said and gazed at several feathers that had been spread around the fountain from the birds that flew above the canopy.

Durin shook his head. "No."

"Do you want to learn how to make some?" Nameless looked down at the Prince with a tentative smile.

Durin wiped his cheeks and the first timid smile brightened his features. "I guess."

"Let's go pick up some feathers and I will show you. How about that?" Nameless stood up and offered his hand to the Prince.

"Okay." Durin said and his smile became a shade livelier.

* * *

 

It was the very next day that found Eilin sitting in from of a mirror quietly. She touched the coronet that Thorin had made for her. The one she wore at her wedding day and a wistful smile appeared on her well-formed lips.

Rhiannon looked up from the lose braid she was making on the Queen's long hair and smiled. "Lord Balin brought it over from Erebor."

"He was already certain that I was going to address Thranduil officially in the name of the Seven, wasn't he?" Eilin said quietly.

"You are doing well sis. I am proud of you." Rhiannon couldn't hide that pride from her voice.

"This all feels so strange to me." Her eyes looked at Thorin's immovable reflection in the mirror sadly.

"You always saw yourself as a quiet and timid creature, but I always trusted in the strength that I saw inside you Eilin. I am sure the King saw the same vibrant force and that is what he fell in love with. Now use it to help him and his rule." Rhiannon looked at her straight in the eyes.

"I think you project in me what you have seen in him." Her eyelids fluttered.

Rhiannon caressed her cheek gently. "No, you two are so different. His force is dominant and authoritative. His inner energy feels more like a frothing river that has just burst forth from a dam and swept everything on its passage. He feels unstoppable and overwhelming. You on the other hand…."

Eilin's smile widened in expectancy.

"Your energy is quietly patient, lingering in the background to be called into action. You are the massive dam that can raise in front of his commanding energy in order to keep it in check. You sister have the strength to control the most powerful man of your kin. If that is not an impressive power then I don't know what you can call it. Instead of feeling unprepared and ill-equipped to rule your kin, think of how easily you can change the mind of its King. A few words from you can change the course of history. You are the bloody anchor that can break this legendary man's momentum!"

Eilin sighed and closed her eyes. "I know."

"Then flare your shoulders proudly, wear your coronet and talk with the Elves on our behalf like the proud Queen of the North!" Rhiannon pressed her biceps happily.

"Queen of Durin's Folk…." Eilin corrected.

"Queen of our hearts! Just believe in yourself and do it!" –Rhiannon picked up the coronet and wore it on Eilin's head- "Look at yourself. I don't see the girl who was sleeping next to me in that tavern anywhere. Do you?"

Eilin touched the side of her coronet gently and her body erupted with goosebumps. No, she couldn't see the shy young girl who had been sleeping in the stables amongst horse shit all her life. The reflection that was looking back at her was a mature woman who had her first wrinkles appearing at the goose trails of her eyes and at the side of her lips. The eyes that were gazing at her were neither scared nor timid. They held a self-confidence that Eilin hadn't noticed before and an authority that seemed to arise from the depths of their green color. She stroked a small stray wrinkle at her forehead and then her eyes turned to the figure of her husband. No she wasn't the same shy girl that first stepped in Erebor a decade ago. She was the wife of Thorin Oakenshield and mother of his children. She was the Queen of Durin's Folk and more than able to represent them when they needed her the most. "No, I don't." She admitted quietly.

"Then stand proud and go talk to Thranduil!" Rhiannon gave her a firm kiss on the cheek.

Eilin cupped her hand and looked above her shoulder. "Thank you my dear."

Rhiannon moved to the chair. "Shall I prepare you a dress?"

Eilin straightened her coronet. "No, a pair of trousers and a leather military vest will do perfectly. Did Balin bring any clothing from Erebor perchance?"

Rhiannon hurried to the cupboard. "Of course he did. I asked him to!" She said happily.

Eilin smiled and shook her head. "What am I going to do without you?"

That is when the door knocked and Rhiannon went quickly to open it up. "Be totally lost I suppose, therefore you must learn how to appreciate me!" -She teased and then looked down- "Oh, hello there my young Lord!" She said and bowed deeply.

Eilin stood up quickly. "My baby boy…"

Durin walked in timidly and his eyes fell quickly to his father. "Mom, can I come in?"

Eilin rushed and took him in her arms. "Of course you can. Why are you asking?"

Durin leaned his head on her shoulder and caressed her braid. "You never allow me to stay here."

Eilin drew back and cleared up some stray locks from his eyes. "I don't want you to worry about your father's condition, that's all."

Durin looked at his father again. "How is he?" He asked eagerly.

Eilin stood up and clasped his hand. "Come, feel this my darling." She led his hand on Thorin's forehead.

Durin mouth smiled widely. "He's not hot anymore."

Eilin nodded eagerly. "Fever went down completely. He is breathing normally and at least last night his sleep was untroubled."

"Still he hasn't woken up yet." Durin's face fell and he withdrew his hand.

"Never doubt that he will wake up soon my love. Your father is a very strong man. This won't get him down. He is already feeling much better."

Durin smiled timorously and pinched Thorin's tunic. "Should I go then and allow him to rest?"

Eilin helped her son to get on the bed. "No, you can stay."

"As much as I want?" Durin's face lit up.

Eilin nibbled her bottom lip and smiled. "Yes!"

"Won't I bother him?" Durin looked at his father fearfully.

"No, he is going to love having you here." -She rejoined lively- "But are you sure you don't want to go play with Celebriel?"

Durin took off his vest and burrowed under the covers next to Thorin quickly. "No mom I am really tired."

Eilin gazed at Rhiannon who smiled knowingly and stroked her son's hair. "You haven't slept well at night?"

Durin shook his head and lifted up his father's heavy arm. Then he snuggled close and leaned his head on Thorin's chest. "No, can I sleep here with him?"

Eilin felt her eyes welling and she tucked Durin in along with Thorin. "Of course you can my love." She said softly.

"Thanks mom." Durin exhaled and clutched his father's tunic, much like he was doing back when he was a baby. Then his face quietened down and he looked like he was in heaven. Eilin hadn't seen him so content and calm in many days and felt a wave of guilt for keeping him away from his father for so long. She did it for his own good, but apparently she had been mistaken.

She leaned over and gave a soft kiss on Durin's cheek and then another one on Thorin's mouth. "Will you keep him company while I go talk to the Elves?"

"Sure mom." Durin mumbled.

Eilin patted Durin's cheek tenderly before standing up in order to change.

"Can you also talk to Nameless, please?" Durin's eyelids cracked open.

Eilin hesitated. "Sure honey. What for?"

"I don't think he wants to come back to Erebor with us."

"Why should he? We cannot force a man to do something against his will." Eilin frowned.

"You don't understand mom." –Durin looked at her above his shoulder- "He wants a home, but he doesn't think a home wants him."

Eilin nodded slowly. "And you wish for him to come with us?"

Durin frowned. "He saved me, more than once. Yes, I want him to have a home in Erebor."

"Okay then, I will have a word with him." She leaned down and planted another affectionate kiss on her son's forehead.

"Promise?" Durin whispered and closed his eyes again.

"I promise my love, now sleep." She spoke in a hushed tone and stroked his hair until she heard his breathing becoming heavier, which didn't take long.

Eilin then tiptoed to Rhiannon and placed her finger on her lips.

Rhiannon nodded and helped her undress. "They look so adorable together."

Eilin felt her heart erupting with waves of love for her two boys. "Do you think I lied to my son?"

"About Thorin waking up?" Rhiannon frowned.

Eilin's eyes hid a frightened tint.

"You told him the truth." Rhiannon rejoined calmly.

Eilin clasped her hand. "Thank you sister."

Rhiannon leaned her forehead on hers. "I love you."

* * *

 

Eilin walked up the few steps that led in front of Thranduil's majestic throne. She looked up at him sitting on it loftily and her heart pounded hard in her ears. She tried hard to keep all her movements calm and thoroughly calculated. At this moment she was representing all the Seven Dwarven clans, but above all her husband and it was so important to her not to let him down. She stopped and crossed her hands tranquilly. She inclined her head and felt the weight of the coronet almost digging into her skull. "King Thranduil." Her voice came much deeper than she would have expected.

Thranduil's eyes burned through her for several moments. He flicked his wrist dismissing his guards. Then he stood up with a liquid motion that absorbed her.

"Queen Eilin." Thranduil's lips formed an enigmatic smile as he walked slowly down the numerous steps of his throne.

Eilin's shoulders squared proudly.

"Thank you for indulging my need to discuss about matters of state when your husband is in such an ill state." Thranduil stood in front of her and Eilin's heart almost fled out of her chest. She had to crank up her neck all the way in order to be able to see his eyes. She didn't remember him so tall the last time she was here, but then again she had only seen him sitting down during that famous dinner where Thorin had managed to gain his trust and eventually his friendship.

"There are some matters that cannot be delayed. This is one of them." Eilin rejoined.

Thranduil's beautiful brows came together inquisitively. "I am informed that King Thorin is doing better…"

"His fever is down, but he is not awake yet." Eilin lips turned down. Now that she was speaking to him on an equal basis, she wasn't allowed to avert her eyes from his stare. Not even for a moment.

Surprisingly it was Thranduil who looked away at that. "Sauron's magic is not potent enough yet to cause him so much trouble. I didn't expect him to remain under for so long." He sounded genially worried. Apparently his friendship with Thorin was deeper than Balin or the rest of the Seven suspected.

"His state was weakened from the poisoned blade also. Don't forget that." Eilin said quietly and found herself captivated by studying the Elven King's reactions concerning her husband.

Thranduil eyes seemed slightly uncertain. "Maybe I should call for the Lady of Light. Lord Elrond insisted that we already did the best we could and that we should expect a recovery soon, yet I am not so certain at this point."

Eilin felt in need to console him and that would have been so out of place that she had to check herself twice. "Let us see give him a few more days before bothering Lady Galadriel. I trust your knowledge immensely and I am sure you did the best for him."

Thranduil engaged her eyes for several nerve racking moments. Then he inclined his head elegantly. "Very well."

Eilin felt her heart almost palpitating. "I find this moment timely in order to express my gratitude for everything you have done for us. I have no way of repaying your generosity."

Thranduil's lips formed the same enigmatic smile. "It is not generosity, but a deep sense of affinity towards your husband."

Eilin was unable to stop the smile that formed on her lips.  "Thorin would have appreciated those words profoundly."

Thranduil's weighty gaze remained on her for several breathless moments, calculative and mysterious. "The relationship I have formed with King Thorin is beyond the understanding of either my kin or yours. My dealings with him have a personal touch that is missing with any other representative of your kin. That is the reason I have declared to King Thorin that any kind of alliance with the Elves will take place only under his rule."

Eilin smiled calmly. "I find that commendable on your behalf and an honor for my husband."

Thranduil's examining eyes stayed on her for several moments. "Therefore I must deduct that your position must be rather hard at this moment, since you are representing him."

"I don't have the close affinity with you that Thorin owns, but I will do my best to clear up the misunderstanding that is lingering above our Alliance like a dark cloud, spreading doubt and mistrust." Eilin rejoined respectfully.

Thranduil raised his brow. "It is exactly because of the kinship I feel for him that I am so deeply surprised and dare I say betrayed by his decision to pursue Dol Guldur with such ferocity without a word to me first. I wish nothing more than Amon Lanc to return back to my kin after been laid to waste by the forces of darkness all these centuries. Nevertheless such a hurried attack that doesn't include the precious knowledge of my kin and especially Lady Galadriel's leadership is doomed to fail. Why did Thorin decide to act on his own without asking for my advice?"

Eilin felt her throat drying and took a deep breath. "You have to examine the context under which he took that decision."

Thranduil tilted his head slightly in silent expectation.

"Thorin was already sick by the poison of that Orcish blade. He was feverish and half out of his mind most of the days and nights lately. He was burdened by nightmares that rarely allowed him to get any rest and I found out he had fainting spells as well as constantly bloody noses." Eilin said.

"That stopped him from sharing his military intentions about a stronghold that belongs to my family?" Thranduil raised his brow and his tone was sharp.

"It is unfair to judge someone who is unwell in the same unforgiving manner as you would have done, had he been well." Eilin rebuked.

Thranduil's brow raised an inch more. "Let us put aside his sickness which might have understandably shaken his prudence –of which I might add he is not famous for."

Eilin inhaled deeply and pressed her lips. "Don't speak so low of him now in sickness when you have spoken so highly of him in the past. You have seen his brilliance in politics and you have experienced his skill in diplomacy first hand if I remember correctly."

Thranduil's brow arched.

"You spoke of a deep affinity towards him. A true friend proves himself in times of need, not in times of prosperity and right now Thorin needs you, not your judgment." Eilin's heart may have been ready to jump out of her chest, but her voice was resolute.

"I cannot help but question how he feels about our friendship. What does this decision say about his allegiance to me? What does it say about the future of our coalition?" -Thranduil resumed- "It was difficult enough to convince several of my commanders that a commitment to the Dwarves would be in our best interests. Orders such as these that overlook our camaraderie and are taken single-handedly give out an air of arrogance that I am not too keen for. It is not difficult for me to withdraw my commitment to King Thorin in view of this incident and many of my commanders shall feel pleased for my decision. What is to stop me from doing so?"

Eilin felt her stomach dropping. "The fact that he is your friend and that he'd never betray you." She replied determinedly.

"A friend doesn't act behind your back." Thranduil's voice dropped.

"When he feels that his family is in danger he does." Eilin took a step forward despite how uncomfortable his size made her.

Thranduil's cold façade faltered momentarily at that.

"I will not address you as a Queen, but as a parent. You are a father and so is he. Had you felt that your son was in danger wouldn't you have done everything possible to keep him safe, even if that meant possibly betraying the trust of your friends?" Eilin continued with the same fervor.

Thranduil's lips twisted. "Had my son been in danger?" He spoke under his breath.

"What would you have done? Think about it please. Set aside your expectations from King Thorin and see this as a father. Thorin felt Dol Guldur's ghouls haunting him even behind the safety of Erebor's walls. Durin told me he heard whispers of Black Speech whenever he approached those ruins and so did Thorin. Durin spoke to his father about this, therefore my husband was in high alert during all this time for the safety of our oldest son….of all our children. The more the sickness of the poison was making him ill, the more unable he was to discern reality from hallucinations. The more afraid he became, the more erratic were his orders. I believe he took that decision at a moment of great weakness. He felt he was unable to protect his son from the menace that was oozing out of those ruined walls and his knee jerk reaction was to attack in defense." Eilin eyes searched Thranduil's face that looked unmoved and cold.

"King Thorin feeling weak and defenseless? You must be joking my Lady. He has the biggest army of the North." Thranduil rebuked.

"The malevolence that drips out of the Black Hill cannot be confronted by Thorin's army, you said it yourself and I agree. It needs great power, the likes of which my kin doesn't own. This malice penetrated the safety of our home and threatened our children. Of course Thorin felt weak. He was unable to control what it was doing to our son, so he decided to demolish it. An unwise decision, yes, but what parent can blame him?" Eilin's voice elevated as she attempted to drive her point home.

Thranduil crossed his hand behind his back and began pacing deliberately in front of her. "I can make an effort to understand the desperation of a father, still he should have spoken to me first."

"He made a mistake." Eilin said with binding honesty.

"A ruler shouldn't make such mistakes." Thranduil rebuked.

"A ruler is not always infallible. Behind the mask of the King there is a man, a father and a husband who worries for his family. Haven't you ever made a mistake? Didn't you ever feel despair for the safety of your family?" Eilin frowned.

Thranduil's eyes lost their coldness of a brief moment and a shade of deep pain appeared in them. "I have." He replied quietly.

"Then don't judge his actions as a King, but as a man. You have thousands of years of experience and still you make mistakes. How can you expect perfection from him I wonder?" Eilin continued her gentle attack.

Thranduil turned his back at her and remained silent.

"I could have lied to you." Eilin said flatly.

Thranduil's head lifted up as he gazed at his throne. His silence demanded for her to continue.

"I could have told you that Thorin changed his mind soon after commanding Lord Gimli to march to Dol Guldur. I could have told you that he gave new orders before falling sick that recalled the previous ones." She held her breath.

Thranduil turned around. "But?"

"I opt to be honest with you. Thorin's decision to attack Dol Guldur remained unwavering till the end, but I am not sure he'd think the same when he wakes up now." Eilin pressed her lips.

"I'd appreciate a talk with him about the matter when he does." Thranduil's beautiful brow arched warningly.

"I am sure he'd love to do that with you." Eilin inclined her head.

"In the meantime I am informed that Erebor's army is currently at a standstill." Thranduil looked at her inquisitively.

"I am aware." Eilin rejoined.

Thranduil raised both brows.

"I signed the orders to stop them." Eilin said with far more authority than she would have thought herself able to have.

Thranduil's countenance froze for several surprised moments.

"I am in charge of the Alliance in my husband's absence. I know you do not wish to deal with anyone else from my kin except from him, but right now he gave us no choice." Eilin's mouth formed a small smile.

Thranduil's lips toyed with one also. "You stopped the march?"

"Yes." Eilin announced.

"And no one can revoke that?" Thranduil tilted his head obviously absorbed by Eilin's honesty.

"Only Thorin. For the time being as I am in full command, I will beg you to trust me to deliver what is best for my people as well as yours." Eilin inclined her head.

A lopsided smile appeared in Thranduil's mouth. "I see King Thorin made a wise choice in his wife who also birthed him the reincarnation of Durin."

"I may be King Thorin's wife and Durin's mother, but I am also the Queen of Durin's Folk and on my word of honor my kin shall not attack the Black Hill without your cooperation and full agreement. Not now, nor in the future." Eilin's jawline flexed decisively.

It took several moments for Thranduil to digest what she was telling him, but in the end his features softened if only slightly. "What if King Thorin wakes up and changes our plans?"

"I will talk to him." Eilin's certainty was unwavering.

Thranduil's eyes sparkled softly. "I will relate your words to my commanders. For the time being consider my anger appeased, nevertheless a long talk with Thorin is something that I wish for deeply."

"Pray he wakes up my Lord and you shall have it." Eilin's lips toyed with another smile, this one of immense pride.

Thranduil's eyes gazed at her from the top of her head to the bottom of her boots. "Very well, shall I offer you my assistance in anything else?"

Eilin felt her chest releasing a long held breath. "You have done everything you can and I appreciate it more than words can say. Not only have you offered us a home, your broad knowledge in magic and also in herbs, you have also given my son the opportunity to forget. Lady Arwen, Tauriel and young Celebriel didn't give Durin any chance to lament his father's ill health. Furthermore you offered temporary abode to the man who saved my son. You don't know what all this means to me. Thank you."

Thranduil's face lines softened by degrees and he inclined his head majestically.

Eilin touched her bosom and bowed. "My King, if you don't need me for anything else…."

A fleeting smile formed on his perfect lips. "Go and take care of your husband. I will come tomorrow to check his progress."

Eilin felt her eyes burning, but kept herself in check. "Good night."

"Rest well." Was his quiet response as he began climbing the steps up to his throne.

Eilin saw this as her cue to leave and so she did as a great sense of both relief and pride was swelling her chest.

It didn't take her long to return to the chambers that have been graciously offered to them. She had achieved the balance the Seven wanted and that is all that mattered. The only thing she wished now was to join her husband and son. When she opened the door the silence from the room felt oppressive, but the moment her eyes fell on the bed her heart thudded loudly in her ears and a hand gripped her stomach painfully.

Durin was still asleep snuggling next to his father, but Thorin was not laying face up anymore. Somehow he had moved in his sleep and he was laying sideways with his arms around Durin and his chin resting on the top of his son's head. Eilin felt her lungs constricting and she gasped for breath. "Thorin?" She whispered and shuffled silently to the bed. Her hand touched his forehead and a sigh of relief escaped when she felt how cool he was. She leaned down and tried to discern his breathing pattern which seemed untroubled and soft. She kissed his brow and her movement alerted Durin who mumbled in his sleep and tried to find a more restful position. Eilin's eyes welled and she stroked Durin's hair. "Did you make daddy move in his sleep, baby?"

Durin shook his head. "No mommy." He mumbled and began snoring lightly again.

Eilin closed her eyes and felt her heart elating. Somehow Thorin had moved on his own and that was the most amazing thing he could have ever done for her. She lifted up the covers and burrowed under them, trapping Durin between them. Then her nails clawed his jawline possessively and a myriad prayers left her mouth and got directed towards the great Mahal, begging him to help Thorin wake up. She didn't stop her silent vigilance to the Gods for a long time. It was a soft knock on the door that alerted her. She got out of bed and tiptoed to the door which she opened as quietly as she could.

Balin's face looked exhausted. "Good evening lassie."

"Good evening my Lord. Is everything alright?" She whispered.

Balin tried to peep inside. "How's he?"

Eilin drew back and smiled proudly. "Sleeping with his son. He actually turned in his sleep in order to embrace him."

Balin closed his eyes and a quiet sign escaped his parted lips. "You have no idea how relieved I am to hear that."

Eilin rubbed her cheek. "He is getting better I think Balin. If only he could wake up. This isn't the same deep slumber that had overtaken him due to exhaustion ten years ago in Hobbiton, remember?"

Balin nodded. "Yes."

"That didn't worry me one bit, but this one…this one….I don't know." Her beautiful features wavered with insecurity.

Balin touched her shoulder. "All will be fine."

Eilin gave a doting look at her husband and son and sighed deeply. Then she turned to the advisor. "So what can I do for you at this hour? If it is to ask what happened with Thranduil...."

Balin looked away briefly, making Eilin frown suspiciously. "No lassie."

"Then what is it?" She urged him on.

"Lady Ith just arrived in the Elven realm." He was unable to hide his nervousness when he spoke those words.

Eilin felt her jawline instinctively flexing. "Who told her to come over?"

"No one. Apparently she came alone and the Elven King offered her lodgings." Balin rejoined.

"She wants to see Thorin?" Eilin's brow archer and her voice turned cold.

Balin shook his head slowly. "No she wants an audience with you."

Eilin's eyes thinned. "Me?"

Balin inclined his head.

Eilin looked at the corridor and her mind began racing. Then she turned to her son who was sleeping quietly. "I will not ruin my evening tonight. Inform her that I will accept her tomorrow."

Balin bowed. "Very well lassie."

"Goodnight." Eilin forced herself to smile.

"Rest well." Balin said and closed the door behind him.

Eilin leaned her body against it and crossed her arms. What did Ith want from her? They had nothing to say to each other. As a matter of fact the only thing they had in common was their interest in the same man, which inclined Eilin to poke Ith's eyes out with a stick not talk to her.

Nevertheless that would have been the reaction of Eilin-the tavern maiden, not Eilin-Queen of Durin's Folk who saved her husband's reputation today in the eyes of King Thranduil. That mature part of her debated that she should listen to what Ith was going to say and then decide if she wanted to poke her eyes out.

She walked back to bed and got in. Her body instantly unwound even by being in Thorin's close vicinity. She kissed her son's head and delighted in their quiet repose. Then she reached out to caress Thorin's wavy silver tendrils that rested on his cheek. Thus she remained entranced by his face until finally sleep managed to draw her in and this was the first time in days that she slept well as she was embracing a most beloved part of her family. 

 


	23. The pretty face of coersion

 

* * *

"Why are you pushing me out son?" Balin frowned.

Durin closed the door to his parent's room quietly and placed his finger above his lips. "Silence uncle Balin!" he chastised.

"I want to see your father!" Balin pointed at the door.

Durin used both hands to tug him. "He is feeling better, but mom is sleeping with him and I don't want them to wake up. Come with me!"

Dwalin smirked and followed them with crossed arms.

Balin looked back at his brother apparently bewildered. "Aren't you going to say anything about all this?!"

Dwalin shook his head. "No, actually I delight at the image of Lord Durin dragging you every which way. He is practicing for when he takes back his Dwarrowdelf. He needs someone to push around and you are the proper man for that. You have plenty of experience from Thorin already."

Balin humphed. "I knew you'd say something like that you half-bald ugly gnome."

Dwalin chuckled. "Shut it and follow our forefather."

Durin jerked Balin's hands. "Come on, faster uncle."

"Give me a break son, I cannot walk any faster, I am falling apart! You on the other hand seem in a good mood this morning." Balin huffed and puffed after Durin's quick stride.

"Mom let me sleep next to dad. It was perfect!" Durin smiled.

"I find that extremely endearing" –Balin's face softened, but when Durin jerked his hand again he rolled his eyes- "Nevertheless your energy is exhausting. Where are you taking me?"

"To see mister Nameless. We are going to search for pretty feathers." Durin couldn't hide his enthusiasm.

"Feathers?" Dwalin frowned.

"Nameless?" Balin raised his brow.

"That's the man who saved the young Prince. I've told you about him." Dwalin pursed his lips.

"Oh, yes. I haven't met him yet. That's true." Balin's face mellowed.

"Hey son, why are you going to search for feathers?" Dwalin turned to the young Prince.

"Mister Nameless is teaching me how to make perfect arrow tails. He knows so much about archery! He may know even more than dad!" Durin sounded impressed.

Balin turned to his brother. "Isn't he a Petty Dwarf?"

"I am not so sure. He seems fairly knowledgeable in swordsmanship, exceptionally adept in archery and his manners betray a Dwarf who has walked in the company of great men once." Dwalin said.

"Has the King or the Queen talked to him yet?" Balin asked.

"No." Dwalin shook his head.

"Your impressions?" Balin allowed Durin to drag him under an archway made of tree roots and he bowed fleetingly at a beautiful Elven-Maiden who smiled at them.

Dwalin gave her a rather scrutinizing look and then turned at his brother. "Cautiously promising, but I cannot be sure. I haven't talked to him much."

"Does he seem deceiving? Does he have any demands from the King for saving Lord Durin?" Balin scowled, feeling the ever-present protective streak towards Thorin arising.

"No. He didn't want to speak with the royal couple. Actually he was preparing to leave when someone decided to step in and stop him." Dwalin rejoined.

"Who?" Balin sulked.

Dwalin raised his brow and looked at Durin who stopped at the top of a beautiful staircase made out of huge mushrooms and waved down.

Balin's shoulders slouched. "The Prince?"

"Apparently this man has stolen the hearts of both Thrárin and Durin. He seems to be hypnotizing Thorin's kids one by one." Dwalin sounded impressed.

"And we are approving of this?" -Balin stopped and placed his hands on his waist- "We should be overlooking his close interactions with the Princelings, not allowing them to take place freely without a hint of scrutiny." His voice was stern.

"Honestly he looked ready to flee yesterday when I talked to him. He doesn't seem dangerous, more like terrified." Dwalin crossed his arms.

"Hi Mr. Nameless!" Durin made an attempt to get down the stairs.

Balin tried to grab his arm. "Hey, stand still for a moment you little leprechaun. Where do you think you are going?"

Durin's youth though allowed him to slip Balin's hold easily and he hopscotched down quickly. "Come down uncle Balin! He is here!"

"Balin?!" Nameless' croaked and looked up feeling tendrils of apprehension licking up his spine.

Durin smiled. "Yes, you are going to meet uncle Balin. He is the most important man of the North after my daddy, cousin Fili and uncle Dain. He will help you get a home there!" He caught Nameless' hand enthusiastically and swung it.

Beads of sweat broke upon Nameless' forehead and he tried to pull his hand free.

Durin clutched him even tighter. "Don't worry. He is a kind man! He doesn't get mad easily."

"That is not what worries me son." Nameless whispered and took an involuntary step back as he observed the two high Lords walking down the staircase. He had the choice to make a run for it, but that would look suspicious and Balin's brother would be on him in the blink of an eye. Besides his heart didn't want to disappoint the young Prince by abandoning him without an explanation. He knew he should have left two days ago when he still had the chance. Now it was too late to do so without causing more suspicion.

Why did he take the opportunity to have a bath, shave, comb his hair and change clothes? He should have stayed as disheveled and dirty as he had always been. It was much safer hiding behind all that grime than revealing his real face. He acted too haphazardly lately, he didn't listen to his mind's call for prudence, instead he allowed his heart to take over and that proved to be a big folly. He should have left soon after he saw the children a second time, not linger in the forest with the pale faith that maybe….

….maybe there was still hope….

He gritted his teeth and swallowed a throat that was burning. He had to admit at least to himself that he didn't want to upset Durin by making a run for it. He also secretly prayed for an opportunity to see that young red-headed prince again, didn't he?

His jawline flexed so hard that he felt pain. He had for once to stand his ground. He had to make an effort not to disappoint more people despite his fear, right?

Dwalin came over with a cautious frown on his stern countenance. "Good morning."

Nameless looked quickly at his boots and lowered his head in a bow of respect that served also as the stupidest cover up ever invented. He lifted his free hand in a vague salutation, but his mouth was not working properly. He was unable to say a single word.

Dwalin raised his brow shadily. "Did we catch you and Lord Durin in a bad moment?"

Nameless shook his head, trying to make sure his hair was concealing his face.

Durin pressed Nameless hand. "We are going to go feather picking, right?"

Nameless nodded stupidly.

Balin stepped on the landing and extended his hand pleasantly. "It is an honor to meet the man who saved Oakenshield's children."

"More than once!" Durin frowned.

"More than once." -Balin inclined his head and waited patiently for the other man to take his hand- "We've heard the best things about you, both from Lord Durin and young Lord Thrárin ."

Nameless reached out with a trembling hand and touched Balin's hand briefly before pulling it away. Then he took another step back and felt Durin's steady grip stopping him from fleeing.

"Well, he is not very talkative. Are you bereft of speech Sir?" Balin bantered.

Durin's brow creased. "He is just ashamed uncle. Don't tease him!"

Balin bowed slightly. "I didn't mean to make him feel uncomfortable master, merely to make him speak….or possibly show me his face which he is going in great lengths to hide, it seems."

Nameless felt trickles of terror rolling down his spine and he was deeply thankful for his ample greyish hair and thick beard at that moment. Maybe there was a slim chance he wouldn't be recognized. After all this high Lord hadn't seen him in centuries and also the King didn't recognize him in front of Dol Guldur either. However that might have been a combination of Thorin's ill-state, his anxiety for his son and Nameless' filthy countenance. "I am sorry…." –his voice failed him and he cleared his throat- "I am sorry Sir. I haven't been in the presence of royalty for years."

"That means that you have been in the presence of Kings in the past therefore you cannot be a Petty Dwarf as you originally claimed, correct?" Balin rebuked cleverly.

Nameless' nose flared, but he kept on looking at his boots silently at that remark.

"He is obviously not one, I told you." Dwalin thrust his chin up with a scrutinizing stare.

Balin nodded and scratched his long beard. "Nevertheless it is not me who made you stand before royalty, but the King's children. You've been in their presence several times already as I am informed."

Nameless cleared his dry throat once more. "Uhm, yes."

"We were taking him food." Durin clarified.

"Oh we are aware of that folly and soon your father is going to find out. I am not so sure he is going to be too happy about that one. You broke several rules son." Balin's voice was strict.

"Sir, don't punish them. They just wanted to help me." Nameless hurried, but his head was still bowed low.

"I am sorry uncle, but he was hungry and Thrárin would never let him be without food. You know how he is." Durin's face fell.

"And you didn't want to let your brother go there alone, I know. Noble ideas run through your mind and immense kindness through Thrárin's heart, but that can cause problems. You both risked your lives and the life of Rhianaye, Celebriel and Lis. Was that wise?" Balin crossed his hands patiently and glared at Durin.

The young boy averted his eyes embarrassed. "No Sir."

Dwalin smirked at the affect his brother had over the mighty reincarnation of their forefather.

Balin sighed and turned his attention to the older Dwarf. "I don't believe you have told us your name yet? The children call you Nameless, but I find that hardly an appropriate name for a Dwarf."

Nameless felt his heart dropping and beads of sweat made their appearance on his forehead. He lingered uneasily for several moments, swaying between the fight or flight instincts that were assaulting him. He cleared his throat again, but his voice was coarse. "I have dishonored my name and I am not allowed to carry it proudly anymore Sir. Forgive me."

Balin lifted his head inquisitively and gave a guarded look at his brother who reciprocated. "Only evil actions can force a Dwarf to disown his name. Are you accused of murder or other similarly heinous crimes?"

Nameless almost lifted his head at that. "No Sir, I never took a person's life outside of battle or defiled anyone."

"I am not too keen to allow a corrupted man to keep company to Erebor's Princelings." Balin continued with a stern tone.

"He is a good man! He saved me!" Durin frowned angrily.

Balin flicked his hand towards the boy elegantly. "Nevertheless your impeccable actions towards Lord Durin cannot be overlooked."

Nameless exhaled audibly and felt his bottom lip trembling from the tension he felt inside. "Thank you Sir…." He bowed deeply.

"Keep in mind though that when the King wakes up, he will require your full name and the reasons you were disowned from your clan." Balin continued.

"I don't intend to stay long here Sir. I was packing up to leave tomorrow. The King needs not bother himself with me." Nameless replied quickly.

"No! Come on, you promised to stay! You promised!" Durin snapped and tugged Nameless' hand hard. Then he looked away with a pouting lip.

Nameless turned to the Prince as carefully as possible in order to keep his face obscure to the others. "My young Prince you heard Lord Balin. I am a dishonored Dwarf. The King will never allow me a place in Erebor. Besides I love living on the road. This has been my life for centuries now."

He tried to take Durin's hand, but the boy pulled away. "Leave me alone. You are breaking your promises. You are not a good friend! You said you would think about staying in Erebor! You said it!"

"I know son, listen…." Nameless tried to say, but Balin spoke over him.

"Why were you living on the road? Were you exiled from our cities?"

Nameless swallowed hard. "I put myself in exile."

"Self-mortification then?" Balin tilted his head feeling his interest sparking. The more this Dwarf wanted to hide his face, the more inclined Balin was to see it. This Dwarf reminded him of Eilin who used to hide under her hood once upon a time.

Nameless nodded quickly, then knelt in front of Durin. "Young Sir, I promised I'd think about it, you are right. What I am doing is not fair to you and I don't like it."

"You just said that you were going to leave." Durin sniffled and turned his back to him.

"It is my instinctual need to live alone in the wild as this has been my way of life for years. Still I made a promise. Can we make another try?" Nameless said quietly.

Durin shook his head.

Nameless touched his shoulder gently. "Please young master. I don't want to be in bad blood with you."

"Why?" Durin looked at him above his shoulder with a pair of azure wet eyes that broke Nameless' heart.

"Because I like you." The older Dwarf smiled.

Durin's lips broke a timid smile. "I like you too."

"Can we try again?" Nameless said.

Durin nodded quietly.

Nameless exhaled in relief. "Thank you."

Durin turned to the old advisor. "Promise to give him a chance in Erebor even if he doesn't have a proper name? He saved me!" He added the usual excuse in order to enhance his plead.

Balin crossed his hands and sighed. "Even if I was willing to do so, your father might not."

"Or more likely his mother will not, because she is currently Head of State." Dwalin corrected.

Balin inclined his head. "Indeed."

Nameless felt his heart faltering. "I will not bother the royals with my presence worry not Sir."

"The young Prince will do it for you and then you shall have to reveal to them what you are not telling to us." Balin pursed his lips.

Nameless bit his lower lip hard enough to draw blood.

Balin drew in a deep calm breath and looked around him. "I see many feathers here of various colors. Shall we stay to offer you company? Lord Durin said you are very good at making arrow tails."

Nameless nodded softly. "A little bit."

"No uncle we don't need company, thank you. Go up and let us have some fun!" Durin intervened.

"Hey you were the one that wanted me to meet Nameless!" Balin scowled.

"Yeah, but you almost interrogated him away from us. I don't want you to do that. Now go away!" Durin's glower was even more impressive than Balin's.

"Well…" the old advisor humphed and a small smirk formed behind his thick beard.

"He is practicing on how to order you around already. I like him!" Dwalin chuckled.

Balin shook his head and totally ignored his brother. "I am not leaving unless master Nameless raises his head to meet my eyes. I can ignore him having no real name. I can maybe forget the vague reasons he gave for losing his name. However I will not allow Thorin's son to remain in his company a moment longer unless I get to see his eyes."

Nameless bit his lip harder and shuddered hard. He looked down at Lord Durin. There was still the choice to release the boy's hand and run away from this accursed encounter. Just thinking about those beautiful azure eyes looking at him deeply pained was enough to break his heart. His other choice was to face the King's formidable advisor and hope the rough years that rode his back had been enough to erase his old face.

"That's easy. Come on then mister Nameless show him your face!" Durin said enthusiastically.

Balin's brow arched. "I am waiting impatiently."

Dwalin's eyes clouded slowly at seeing the other man's hesitation.

"Come on! I want to pick up the best feathers today! I am so happy that my daddy is doing better. Don't you want to be happy today with me mister?" Durin rocked his arm back and forth.

"Yes." Nameless admitted half-heartedly.

"Then lift your head up." Balin's voice lost all the threads of warmth it held in it and became commanding.

Nameless deliberated long and hard before deciding that he didn't want to see Durin's face sad anymore. He didn't want to see another child's heart broken by something he did wrong. Better take his chances with this lofty Lord right here. He cleared his throat again and tightened his hand around Durin wishing to draw some courage as he slowly lifted his head. He kept his eyes closed as his hair slid away from his cheeks. He felt so exposed that his stomach froze in terror and he inhaled deeply waiting for the moment of recognition and ultimate judgment that was bound to come.

Balin inhaled sharply and his features slowly became pallid. His lips parted and his hand began shaking. He took a step back and Dwalin steadied him. "What the hell has gotten into you?"

Balin shook his head. This time he was the one bereft of speech.

That lack of communication from the other side was enough to alert Nameless to the inevitable. He opened his eyes with a new sense of ultimate dread and looked straight at Balin's shocked face. It was pretty clear the old Lord had recognized him.

Balin backed up until the first step caught him behind the knees and he emptied himself on it defeated.

"Are you alright?" Dwalin leaned over him with a frown of concern.

Balin couldn't stop staring at the familiar green eyes of the man who stood equally pale across from him. He gripped Dwalin's hand tightly.

Nameless' body broke in goosebumps. He shook his head imperceptibly, wordlessly pleading for Balin to remain silent.

"You saw him now uncle Balin. Can we go?" Durin pulled Nameless' hand without recognizing the unbearable tension between these two men.

Dwalin knelt in front of his brother and cupped his cheeks. "Balin are you okay!?"

Nameless was unable to disengage Balin's eyes.

"Balin!?" Dwalin grabbed his shoulders and shook him hard.

"Can we go?!" Durin insisted.

"Yes for Mahal's sake go!" Dwalin spat above his shoulder.

Durin smiled widely and pulled Nameless away. "Come on mister. We have work to do." He said happily.

Nameless gave another beseeching glance towards Balin and followed Durin towards the path that led further into the forest.

"Balin, can you hear me!?" Dwalin snapped.

Balin caught his hand tightly. "Stop…" He exhaled.

"What the hell happened to you all of a sudden? You were just fine and then all of a sudden you looked as if you've seen a ghost." Dwalin looked worried out of his mind.

"I did see a ghost." Balin whispered and kept his eyes on the path Durin took with this man.

Dwalin gazed at them above his shoulder. "Him?"

Balin nodded slightly and felt his heart dropping to a pool of ice.

"Do you know him?" Dwalin's frown deepened.

Balin squeezed his brother's hand tightly and closed his eyes. "I need to talk to Thorin…quick."

"If it has escaped your attention, Thorin is out of order for the time being." Dwalin raised his brow.

"I don't need your bloody humor right now!" Balin grumbled and stood up exasperated.

"That escalated fast…." Dwalin sulked, unable to understand what had gotten into his brother all of a sudden.

"Can you be silent for a moment?!" Balin spat and began climbing the staircase fast.

"Will you tell me what is going on?" Dwalin nagged and followed him quickly.

"I said shut up!" This time Balin's voice came as a command that reverberated on the forest around them and didn't give Dwalin any choice but to follow him quietly.

 

* * *

 

Rhiannon trotted behind Eilin. "And you mean to tell me that you are going to listen to what she has to say and you are going to believe her."

"I will listen, but I might not believe her." Eilin rejoined.

"Stop all this nonsense and talk to Lord Durar. Ask him to send her back home. Don't keep this homewrecker close to your husband or you might regret it!" Rhiannon grabbed her arm and turned her around.

"I trust him, I told you." Eilin spat angrily.

Rhiannon observed her quietly for a few moments. "A big mistake on your part. I told you, Thorin might be honorable, but this bitch is going to rub temptation in his face again. She will do it once, twice and many more times over in order to get him to yield to her. He will refuse a hundred times, but let's just assume that she catches him during a weak moment and he relents. What then? Will you guys destroy your marriage for this bloody trollop?"

"She did catch him at his weakest and he didn't relent." Eilin's eyes hardened.

"Once….how about if she tries that a hundred times more?! Send her away now that you have the chance and the power. Don't be a bloody fool. Trust your husband, but also protect your marriage. Nobody ever said that being careful or removing temptation equals being distrustful, right?" Rhiannon continued.

Eilin exhaled roughly.

"Okay let's leave Thorin out of the equation. Let's assume that he will rebuke her attempts time and time again endlessly. Won't that exhaust you? Won't knowing that a woman who is coveting your husband is always buzzing around him, ready to find the chance to jump on him?" Rhiannon tried to reason.

"Half the female population of Erebor covets the King." Eilin's brow arched.

Rhiannon rolled her eyes. "They don't trail after him like hungry puppies though, do they?"

Eilin crossed her arms and pierced Rhiannon with her gaze. "Don't plant seeds of doubt in my mind. I told you …."

Rhiannon raised her hand. "…you trust Thorin. Very well. I am asking you to distrust this woman, not your husband. Keep him out of this completely. Deal only with her, but deal with her the proper way."

"You mean send her away." Eilin rejoined.

"You have the power." Rhiannon tilted her head.

"Thorin will wake up to find out that I have stopped his orders concerning Dol Guldur and that I messed with the niece of one of his best friends. I am not sure I wish to anger him so much." Eilin said.

"Even though she hugged him in front of you and she almost kissed him?" –At that thought Rhiannon laughed derisively- "Almost….well…you saw them almost kissing. Who's to say if they hadn't kissed before you arrived and you just caught the end of such an exchange?"

Eilin's face became red. "I told you Thorin is not like that!?"

Rhiannon raised her brow. "I didn't say your husband kissed this bitch, but that she kissed him and in his ill state he was unable to push her away. You said he was barely able to stand when you found him, right?"

Within an instant Eilin's face went pale. "He was dreadful looking, yes."

Rhiannon clasped her hands tightly. "Here you are with a body trying to heal from a tattoo you made for your beloved husband, you haven't even showed it to him yet and this woman is still trying to wedge between you. She won't stop trying to approach him, mark my words and at the same time she will try to get in your good graces and she will use the good friendship her son has with Lord Thrárin to be near. She is much more deceptive than she looks."

Eilin cupped her face and closed her eyes. "You are becoming ridiculous."

"Am I? What woman would have tried several indecent approaches on a married man, one after the other, despite the fact the aforementioned man told her to back off? Any woman who respects herself, would have also valued his fatherhood, if nothing else. Especially one who claims that she adores her son. She wants to appear the good mom, the pained widow, the sensitive soul, but did she respect the unwritten laws of your kin about the One?" Rhiannon continued fervently.

Eilin looked at her frustrated. "No."

Rhiannon pressed her hands. "No, that's right! Your kin is not famous for fooling around."

"No." Eilin shook her head.

"Then what in the name of Eru is she trying to do here?! Her actions don't speak of an honorable woman, but of a whore in disguise. At least I was getting paid for the job and I didn't lie to anyone. This bitch is lying through her teeth at the King and she will also lie to you. Mark my words. She will try to get on your good side and appear innocent and harmless. I think she is neither." Rhiannon protested.

"What do you want me to do? Cause a diplomatic issue with one of the Seven because of her?" Eilin drew her hands away and grabbed her head. She felt utterly exasperated.

"Test her." Rhiannon said flatly.

Eilin turned sharply. "Test her…."

Rhiannon nodded.

"How?" Eilin threw her hands in the air.

"Place a bait under her nose and see if she takes it." Rhiannon continued with the same unemotional tone that bothered Eilin so much.

"I will not tell my husband to play such silly games, forget it." Eilin's eyes filled with anger.

"Who told you to involve Thorin in this?" Rhiannon's mouth formed a clever smile.

"Then what?"

"I will do it for you, if you allow me." Rhiannon rejoined.

"Whatever you are thinking ….I want none of it." Eilin's voice fell.

"I will not make you take part in this and neither will your husband. It will be all up to me, but when I call for you to see the truth, will you do it?" Rhiannon leaned over Eilin and gripped her bicep hard.

"It depends." The hard rebuke.

"The truth never depends on anything. It is what it is. I may be mistaken in all this, but I might not be. When the time comes will you face the truth with me?" Rhiannon pressed.

Eilin straightened up proudly. "No, I told you. I want no part in this low-life scheming. I will deal with her the Dwarrow way. I will not allow you to mettle with this. We are not living in that tavern anymore if you haven't noticed Rhiannon! We are not surrounded by crooks and liars! I am the Queen of Durin's Folk. The mighty Oakenshield's wife! Mother of Durin the Deathless! I will not act like a ….like a…." She looked around her searching for the right word.

"A whore?" Rhiannon's eyes welled.

Eilin stopped abruptly and her eyes looked at her friend searchingly. She licked her lips. "Look I didn't say that word."

"But you meant it. You fear I will act like a whore? You think I know no better?" Rhiannon's voice broke.

Eilin grabbed her hand and squeezed it. "I didn't say that!"

Rhiannon gritted her teeth. "Will you allow me to prove this woman a deceiver and help you alleviate your marriage, or are my despicable ways too far above you now?" She threw the dagger on purpose.

Eilin felt her eyes tearing up. "Don't do this please."

Rhiannon pulled free sharply. "Will you allow me?!" She snapped.

Eilin's face settle in anger once more. "No! Stay away from her!"

Rhiannon tilted her head. "Very well. I hope you don't live to regret it."

Eilin huffed and turned the handle.

Rhiannon's hand fell on her shoulder firmly and stopped her. "Don't let her convince you." She whispered with a renewed look of dread in her eyes.

Eilin exhaled annoyed. "I won't. Now let me go!"

Rhiannon looked at the door of the antechamber they were standing in front of. "You want me to come with you?"

"After what you told me today, no." Eilin shook her head and turned the handle.

Rhiannon clasped her hand. "Don't give her any leeway today. Be typical with her."

"What is it you fear so much?" Eilin frowned.

"That she's going to convince you of her innocence and you will allow her close to your family once more. I am afraid she will not stop until she breaks you and Thorin apart." Rhiannon's eyes were as sincere as her words.

Eilin pursed her lips. "No one can break us apart….only we can do that to each other. Now let me go."

Rhiannon's hand left Eilin's shoulder regretfully and fell on her side. Her lips turned down quietly.

Eilin gave her friend a nod and opened the door. The moment she entered Íth turned around.

"Good evening." Eilin said coldly.

Ith lowered her head and crossed her hands in front of her. She curtsied deeply. "Good evening your Majesty."

"Lord Balin informed me that you arrived yesterday." Eilin sauntered inside haughtily and kept her intense gaze on this woman. She observed her golden long hair that were touching her waist, long wavy and free…just like Thorin liked them. Her elegant dress that reached just below the knees and showed her prefect hour-glass figure. Her boots made of rare white fur. The silver frilled vest that held on it Lord Durar's sigil and enhanced her voluptuous breasts which peeped shyly from the low cleavage of her silken tunic. This woman didn't look like a weeping widow, but like a very beautiful temptress. Eilin felt her stomach twisting nervously and the words of Rhiannon came to her mind.

_Trust your husband, but don't trust her…._

She certainly didn't wish for Thorin to see this woman as she was right now. No matter how secure she felt in her own appearance and how much she knew her husband desired her…..she didn't want him to see Íth at this moment. The spark of jealousy that had always been present in her heart after witnessing Íth coming closer to Thorin now erupted in a huge wave of annoyance. She remembered how much she wanted to poke Íth 's pretty eyes out and then how she had promised herself to bury Eilin-The tavern maiden and her instinctive reactions. How she had promised to listen to what Íth had to tell her like Queen Eilin. The woman who dealt with King Thranduil so sufficiently.

"How is our beloved King?" Íth whispered.

Eilin's jealousy flared. "Getting better with each passing day."

Íth touched her heart and bowed. "He is in my prayers constantly and so are you."

Eilin inclined her head. "Thank you. What can I do for you?"

"I deliberated hard if I should come find you my Lady at this dark hour." Íth whispered timidly.

"What you had to tell me couldn't wait for us to return to Erebor?" Eilin reproached.

"No my Lady. I know that you are currently anxious about the King and the last thing I wanted was to burden you more, but I had to speak to you. I had to clear up this misunderstanding between us for it weighs heavily on my heart." Íth said quietly without raising her eyes to Eilin.

"The misunderstanding? Oh…you mean kissing my husband…" Eilin raised her brow.

Íth fell on her knees and her forehead touched the floor. "I swear to you my Queen something like that never happened!"

Eilin smiled coldly down at Íth . "It sure looked that way from where I was standing. The road towards that kiss was being paved ever since the day you had the audacity to hug him in front of my people at the river shore, correct?"

"That day I almost lost my son. I was beside myself. You are a mother too. You must understand that my fear and desperation led me to act foolishly." Íth 's voice was submissive.

"I can understand what you went through as a mother, but that doesn't excuse you hugging a married man." Eilin's voice remained unrelenting and hard.

"I made an error of judgment that day. Show me mercy your Majesty." Íth murmured.

Eilin inclined her head slowly. "Very well, let's assume that your emotional distress led you to act unwisely with my husband once. What about the second time?"

"That day you found us under that tree….it has all been a huge misunderstanding my Lady. I never kissed the King." Íth hurried.

Eilin raised her hand. "You were kneeling in front of him in the dark, holding his face in your hands. What do you call that?"

"Fear!" Íth looked up wide-eyed.

Eilin pursed her lips and crossed her arms.

"Fear about his health your Majesty. The King collapsed on me as we were discussing and I tried to help him. He was ready to faint and I wanted to revive him…."

"With a kiss?" Eilin drawled.

Íth covered her face and a few sniffles were heard behind her palms. "Never with a kiss. Never! I simply tried to make him open his eyes and that is when you arrived."

"What could you possibly be discussing with a married man in the dark Lady Íth ? The weather?" Eilin continued coldly.

"I was asking his forgiveness for my imprudent actions towards him and an audience from you in order to show you my deepest and most honest regret." Íth didn't hesitate at that moment.

"Regret…" Eilin humphed.

"I regret everything I did my Lady. Believe me. I swear to you." -Ith looked up pleadingly- "I feel that I have dishonored the name of my uncle whom the King holds in such great esteem. I cannot even look him in the eyes. I am here to beg for your forgiveness and for a chance to get in your good graces again."

"So you swear that you didn't kiss my husband that evening?" Eilin's brow arched.

"Yes!" Íth looked up and her face was pale.

Eilin looked at her hands that were trembling slightly and her eyes that were overflowing with tears. She was tilting towards believing this woman was honestly distressed and she straightened her shoulders against the words of Rhiannon that urged her not to trust her. "And you regret what happened?"

"Yes!" -Íth rejoined firmly- "Please… I will do everything I can to convince you. Anything! Ask me for anything."

"I will ask for blunt honesty and I will not take anything less than that." Eilin's eyes thinned.

Íth inhaled sharply and recoiled. "I am being honest."

"You are not." Eilin turned her back to Íth purposely dismissing her.

"My Lady I swear on my son's life…." Íth stood up and scattered quickly towards the Queen.

"Don't you DARE swear on the boy's life!" Her warning came out in a low hiss that stopped Íth at her tracks.

She lowered her head. "Forgive me."

"Stop being sorry and start being honest." Eilin commanded loftily.

Íth shook like a fish out of water in front of the Queen's haughty presence.

"You said you regret what happened the day Thorin collapsed." Eilin continued in an unemotional manner.

"Yes…" Íth murmured.

"Do you regret being at the wrong place at the wrong time, or do you regret getting caught before you had the chance to kiss him?" Eilin turned around and her eyes gazed at that woman with cold calculation.

Only Íth 's sharp inhalation was heard and then silence. The tension in the air was so thick one could cut through it like butter. Eilin's jawline flexed and her teeth gritted as she forced herself to stay in silent apathy.

It took Íth a long time to answer and her voice was barely heard. "My Lady, I would never…"

Eilin felt her adrenaline shooting through the roof. "Enough lies! I have had enough of you drooling around my husband and trying to convince us of your innocence. I will not accept anything less than the truth, which you are apparently not willing to give me. I will speak with Lord Durar. He needs to know of your actions towards Thorin and the Royal family." She turned around and made it to the door with no intentions of stopping.

Nevertheless Íth 's voice froze her in place and this time it came in a cold wave that took Eilin by surprise. "What a nerve…."

Eilin felt her back crawling and turned around. "What did you say?"

"You have some nerve. I tried to be kind to you, I tried to be a friend but you didn't like that, did you? You wanted to bring my uncle into this and force me to speak out. You are just an tavern maiden who simply had the luck to earn the gaze of the most powerful man of our kin." Íth continue nonchalantly.

Eilin was temporarily taken aback. "How dare you speak to me this way?"

"How dare I? You threatened to speak to my uncle and stain my reputation just now." Íth rebuked.

"That was caused by your refusal to be honest with me." Eilin flared her chest loftily. She was not about to get intimidated by this woman who was obviously more treacherous than anyone ever imagined. Rhiannon had been right. Eilin felt angered by how gullible she had been. How willing to believe people readily.

"You want honesty?" Íth took a step forth.

Eilin stood her ground. "Nothing less." She gave her a look of utter disgust.

"What woman would have been able to resist your husband's stunning looks and second to none character?" A sly smile formed in Íth 's mouth.

Eilin paled and took a step back at that revelation, even though she already knew that was the truth.

Íth seemed pleased with that small victory against the mighty Queen. "I didn't come here intending to fall for him, but I did. You wanted honesty, but I don't know if you can handle it. Your husband almost reciprocated my attentions one night in his offices. You never learned of that meeting between us. He never told you because he was afraid that this would be the straw that would break the camel's back. I knelt in front of his legs, I laid my head on his knees and he caressed my hair. I know he would have accepted my advances hadn't his position been so compromising….It is not his love for you that kept him away from me. I am sure of that. He is the King of the North. He cannot spoil his reputation by taking in a lover. That is what stopped him."

"You are lying…" Eilin murmured.

"Am I? Ask him when he wakes up. Are you afraid to do it?" Íth spat.

Eilin's bottom lip quivered slightly.

"When I knelt in front of him he stroked my cheeks with his long fingers and whispered how he longed to kiss my plump lips. How he missed being intimate with a warm woman that could offer him the pleasure he deserved and I believed him. You are cold to him….distant. You have neglected his needs way too long. You have been fighting over everything. You think Erebor doesn't know, or people don't hear what is happening between you?" Íth continued mercilessly.

"You are mourning widow, your One has died and you are pursuing another woman's One? Is this the attitude of an noble Dwarrowdam?" Eilin hissed and tried to keep herself from falling apart. She didn't know if this woman was telling her the truth, but she was managing to hurt Eilin deeply.

"I never planned for this, but I admit that my heart made the decision without asking for my opinion. You wanted the truth, there you have it. If you don't believe me about what happened in his office, then ask him and see where that takes you. Keep in mind that in front of that tree bark I was the one who stopped him from kissing me. He would have done it hadn't I been so adamant that he should think of his family first." Íth smirked cruelly.

"You gave him advice about his family, while you haven't thought of your son at all during this trip through depravity. You are despicable." Eilin's eyes edged with tears and she had to bite her inner lip in order to keep them in check.

"Has the King thought of his children perhaps?" Íth raised her brow provokingly.

"Don't you dare talk about him! Enough!" Eilin yelled so abruptly that Íth was taken aback for a moment.

She licked her lips feeling momentarily uncertain of her hold over the Queen. "If you talk to my uncle about all this and stain my reputation I will make sure the whole Kingdom learns what King Thorin did to me both at his office and at the river."

Eilin blanched. "No one will believe you."

"The seed of doubt will be planted though. People have already seen us embracing. Combine that with the unwise orders he gave about Dol Guldur and the fact that you recounted them so easily and there you have it. The people will suspect that the loyalty between the Royal couple isn't so strong anymore. Doubt brings instability and that festers more doubt. You don't you want your legendary husband's rule to be tarnished like that because of another woman, right?" Íth continued coldly.

"You are much more contemptible than I would have ever imagined. Poor Lord Durar. You said you respect my husband to the utmost and yet you have no second thoughts about destroying him when it suits you. How much more deceitful can you be?" Eilin muttered in disbelief. Her hands were frozen and her heart numb. She didn't know what she feared more. Íth 's threats of destroying Thorin's impeccable reputation or her words about what truly happened between them?

Ith's countenance faltered for a few moments and then it hardened even more. "I never wanted to do all this to the King! You made me do it by bringing my uncle into this! Leave him out and I will leave your husband out also!"

"Was everything you told me the truth or just an easy leverage to keep me silent?" Eilin thrust her chin up.

Ith's smirk was cunning. "That is something that you will have to discover on your own. If you trust your husband blindingly then this is your chance to prove it."

Eilin bit back the tears and felt her hands trembling hard.

"I only wanted to be his friend and maybe yours, but that was never meant to be…especially with you!" Íth spat vehemently.

"You wanted to be much more than his friend, you admitted that already." Eilin corrected sternly.

"Stay away from Lord Durar and I will stay away from King Thorin. Do we have a deal?" Íth gritted her teeth and extended her hand towards the Queen.

Eilin raised hers and slapped Íth so hard that the room echoed with the sound ominously. "Get out of my sight!" She commanded.

Íth grabbed her cheek which was on fire, but met Eilin's eyes sassily. "Don't dismiss me this way or your husband is going to regret it. I am asking you again. Do we have a deal?"

Eilin's nose flared and her countenance froze. "Keep your mouth shut about my husband. I am warning you."

"You are not in any position to warn me. Will you speak to my uncle about all this?" Íth pressed.

"I won't. By heavens I won't, but if I find out that you tarnished Thorin's immaculate name on purpose I am going to destroy you! Now get out before I kill you…." Eilin hissed.

A smile of victory ghosted Íth 's lips and she curtsied theatrically. "Your Majesty it has been an honor dealing with you." –A small shadow of momentary regret toyed in her eyes fleetingly- "Even though I honestly never wanted us to end up like this. After the death of my husband I have been raising my son alone. You will never be able to understand how difficult that is. Your husband is still alive and you also have a huge support system around you. I have nothing apart from my uncle who is now living permanently in Erebor. The only thing I have to sustain me is my good name. If you tarnish it to the only person I love then you will destroy me. I will not allow you to do that. If I am forced to blackmail you through the King, then so I shall!"

"Your good name?" Eilin drawled with a disgusted smirk.

Ith's brow arched.

"You declare that you had an intimate rendezvous with a married man, with the ultimate goal of getting into his pants. What good name are you talking about?" Eilin's eyes thinned repulsed.

Íth recoiled and opened her mouth to retort, but the Queen's commanding voice didn't permit her.

"Out!"

Íth walked away calmly and closed the door quietly behind her.

Eilin emptied herself on the couch and covered her face. She tried to put her thoughts in order. She forced herself to remember how calculative and structured Thorin always was against adversity. She tried to think how he would have acted in her place, but that was not the best place to go at that moment.

When her reputation had been destroyed by Nythrasir, Thorin acted unpredictably almost destroying Eilin, himself and their twins in the process. Now it was his reputation that was on the line both with her and with his Kingdom. Was it her turn to act equally unpredictably? Should she wait for him to wake up so she could yell at his face all the ugly words Íth told her about their secret meeting in his office? Should she believe this vile woman and put an end to their marriage? Should she allow Íth to stain Thorin's flawless status amidst his kin and let everything he had ever worked for fall to dust in order to soothe the pain in her heart or satisfy her ego that was laying bloody on the floor? Eilin-The tavern maiden would have probably done so, but not Queen Eilin.

Her heart was unable to believe Íth 's words, no matter how many images her mind was trying to contrive of Thorin kissing that woman in his office. Despite her stomach twisting in knots at the possibility that everything was true, she fought against all doubt and suspicion. She had to act wisely like Thorin used to do in matters of state, even if he couldn't do the same in matters of the heart. She had to act better than him, because their whole family, their happiness, their children and his rule were depending on her not falling apart from this.

She sat there in that lonely couch, in that barely lit room, listening to the waters of the fountains outside calming down the thunderstorm of thoughts in her mind. The soft choral of the Elves that was calling the night began to slowly soften her heart as time went by and when she came to a decision her face was set and her body rigid. She stood up and left the room.

She walked decisively up to their rooms and found Balin inside taking care of Thorin. She engaged his elbow and escorted him out of the rooms. When they were alone she quietly ordered him to call Lord Durar in the Elven Realm. She asked the advisor to speak with King Thranduil in order to keep Durar's arrival a secret from everyone. Balin agreed, but when he asked her why, she only said. "Just make sure no one knows he is here and especially his niece."

Then she went to find Rhiannon who was washing the King's clothes at a small creek as the enchanted forest around them slowly got darker and the beautiful lanterns lit up one after the other illuminating the realm with an eerie blue hue. She stood behind her best friend silently praying that what she was about to do would suffice to protect her family and put an end to the misery this woman brought between her and her husband.

Rhiannon noticed her eventually and smiled. "Dare I ask how it went?"

Eilin looked at her coldly. "Not so good."

Rhiannon's face paled. She stood up abruptly and caught her hands. "You are freezing. What did that bitch tell you?"

Eilin licked her lips and swallowed heavily. "Are you still in the mood to lay your trap?"

Rhiannon searched her eyes. "Yes, of course."

Eilin tilted her head. "Then do it."

Rhiannon pursed her lips and drew Eilin in for a hug. "What made you change your mind? What did she tell you?"

Eilin closed her eyes. "She spoke of such evil things that my heart cannot even take courage in order to relate them to you. I was mistaken and you were right about her. Please forgive me for making you feel so awful before."

Rhiannon kissed her burning brow. "Hush my sister. I will take care of her don't you worry."

Eilin shook her head and drew back. Her eyes burrowed in Rhiannon's. "I will only need you to lay the trap. Then she is mine. Alright?"

Rhiannon's smile was hesitant. "Of course my love."

Eilin closed her eyes and pressed her forearms. "Thank you sis."


	24. Lachrymose

_"My love wake up…." The soft voice said._

_Thorin's heart lost a beat. "Eilin?"_

_"Wake up…. I am here." A soft hand touched the side of his face._

_"My treasure…." -He whispered and slowly his eyelids opened up. He was expecting to see the beautiful green eyes and long red curly hair of his wife, so when he saw black hair and darker eyes his heart fell. He unwillingly recoiled- "Siv?"_

_"I am here for you." She smiled sweetly. When once upon a time that smile would have flooded him with bliss, now it made him flinch._

_"I didn't ask for you. I asked for Eilin." He said quietly and felt his throat dryly painful._

_Siv started back. "Of course you asked for her. It is always about her, isn't it? Everything is about her. You did with her everything you couldn't do with me, didn't you?" Her voice slowly lost all its warmth and became distant._

_Thorin gazed at her confused and bereft of words._

_"You abdicated the throne for her, you stood your ground against the whole of your kin for her, you married her, you gave her children, your love and your devotion against every adversity….you gave her your life without a second thought and you placed no one's needs in front of hers, not even your own. You did for her everything you should have done for me." Siv's face was distorted by the shadows and Thorin had to force himself to remember what she truly looked like back when he loved her._

_"That is so unfair." He muttered._

_"Is it?" Siv tilted her head._

_"You are dead, you reside in the past. I never asked you to come here and remind me of it." Thorin's frown deepened and his hands turned into tight fists._

_"You have never forgotten it you bloody fool, because you cannot handle the guilt and shame. That is what I will always be for you. The zenith of guilt and shame." Siv's voice was almost gleeful._

_"How about you then? Haven't you ever felt any guilt and shame for what you did to me?" Thorin's eyes were full of sorrow._

_"What did I ever do to you?" Siv looked at him stonily._

_"Did you know you couldn't get pregnant?" Thorin steeled his heart in order to speak those injured words._

_Siv remained silent and seemed to retreat into the shadows even more._

_"Did you know?" Thorin snapped suddenly and rattled his chains violently._

_Siv's eyes were distantly cold._

_"Did you ever suspect that you might be incapable to have children or was it easier to place the whole blame on me and let me suffer alone?" Thorin continued with a voice that was becoming more coarsely tense with each word._

_Siv didn't reply._

_"My infertility tortured me for centuries relentlessly. Why did you let me go through so much agony?" Thorin yelled and pulled his shackles so hard that debris littered the floor._

_"You were worth every single moment of suffering for what you did to me." Siv replied coldly._

_"I don't deny that, but you convinced me of my infertility long before we broke up. Every single conversation we ever had on children ended up with you becoming more and more certain that I was unable to impregnate you. When you died it was easier for me to believe it as some sort of divine punishment for my betrayal to you. Did it feel less painful to blame me, than blame yourself? If that is the case I can understand you as the pain is excruciating, but if it was to deceive me….then"_

_"You have no right to speak about deceptions. You who betrayed our love for nothing. You gave me up for nothing and I died because of you. You feel so much shame that you cannot reveal what you did to anyone. You believe that if you say the truth your wife will realize what a dishonorable and cowardly man you truly are. You are afraid to show her your true colors. She will then recognize that she has fallen for the wrong kind of man. That everything you stood up for were lies….betrayals….an unfair death of a young girl who only wished for a man's heart and got that man's derision. She will know that the man who abandoned his throne and his kin for her, was not man enough to do the same for the woman he loved first and should have loved for a lifetime." Siv hissed._

_Thorin felt his throat closing down and his heart falling into the darkest pits of despair. Siv was pulling apart the most sensitive parts of his soul without any mercy. "Stop please…" He begged._

_"You should have abdicated for me! We should have married and left Erebor in order to pursue our happiness away from your grandfather's rule. You should have stayed with me till death tore us apart." Siv yelled suddenly._

_Thorin's body shook hard. "Death did tear us apart…."_

_"Even then you shouldn't have ever given me up. I was your One. You should have devoted your life to my death….the one you caused! You should have lived to regret what you did forever!" She cried._

_Thorin flinched away from her wrath. "I have lived to regret it…."_

_"Until she came along…Then it was easy for you to forget me." Siv's previously angry voice turned into a terrifying whisper._

_Thorin's nape crawled with goosebumps. "I never forgot what I did to you despite Eilin coming to my life. That is why I cannot speak to her of you…you said it yourself." He muttered defeated._

_Siv's face was hiding in the shadows, but her voice was strong enough to consume Thorin's mind with its torturous accusations. "Good….you've earned your punishment …"_

_"I am doomed to lie forever. I am afraid Eilin is going to see the real me and leave. You have won Siv. All these years you have been winning over me. You have taken your revenge and you are still taking it. What more do you wish from me?" Thorin's voice was almost extinguished as tears cascaded down his cheeks._

_"I want you to remain silent and forever trapped by your guilt and shame. I want you to suffer for what you did until you die. I want you to live in fear that your wife will discover the real you one day and that she is going to abandon you. I want you to lie to her forever and suffer in secrecy. Only then shall I be satisfied!" Siv hissed._

_"You are so cruel." Thorin murmured and closed his eyes._

_"It's not me who is cruel." Siv's voice reverberated inside the dungeon darkly._

_Thorin's lips curled up in a bitter smile and he nodded at the emptiness around him. "Of course it is not you…I am the one who is cruel. Endlessly cruel with myself…."_

_Silence reigned from the other side._

_He opened his eyes and his desolate gaze tried to find her, but there was no one in there with him. He never talked to his father or Siv. All those haunting conversations were with parts of himself that he hid so skillfully from his wife all these years and from his family for centuries. The parts he was so afraid to reveal to the ones he loved. His hands opened up and hang lifelessly from the chains and his head drooped heavily. A silent lament filled the dark cell and his chest welled with so many unspoken emotions that he felt like suffocating. It wasn't his father crying for him, or Siv weeping for her untimely death. It was Thorin who was crying both in his dreams, but also in reality in the arms of his loving wife who was trying to wake him up with a need that bordered almost to desperation._

_"Eilin…." He whispered and her name rolled off his lips heavy like led, again and again in a prayer of misery. He didn't want to be locked up in this cell anymore. He wanted to go to her. He wanted to touch her, kiss her and hold onto her for life. He wanted to hear her beloved voice and feel the warmth of her skin. He wanted to smile proudly at Durin's heroic shenanigans, at Rhianaye's small victories against her disabilities and at Thrárin's sweet innocence that caused his heart to swell with so much love it could rupture into a dozen pieces. He ached to return to his family._

_"Eilin…"_

_He wanted to draw her head under his chin, stroke her thick mane and inhale her cherished scent so deep that his lungs would collapse. He wanted to whisper in her ear that he is not the man she believes him to be. He craved against all odds to reveal every single inch of the truth to the woman he loved…..hoping that her love would be enough to make her overlook all the follies of his character._

_"Eilin I will tell you everything…" -His whisper broke from his agonizing weeping- "Help me…" He felt the iron shackles digging into his skin and when he didn't hear any response to his plead the solitude became too unbearable for his soul. Suddenly his quiet lament erupted in roars of anguish that vibrated his chest and burned his head with their intensity. He didn't know how long he knelt there howling away his misery, but when the mourning slowly began to settle down he didn't feel the hardness of the floor under his knees anymore. Something that resembled a soft mattress was under his pained body and a heavy quilt above him. He tried to pull his arms free from the chains and found them able to move around without any restraints. His palms searched blindingly and skimmed past the warmth of a soft skin. His back shuddered so hard from the shock he had undergone that his teeth cluttered. Still thinking that this was part of his dream he reached out and enfolded that body on his, yearning for a bit of loving contact. He tried his mouth next. "Eilin….please…help me…"_

* * *

 

"I am here my love! Wake up…that's it…." She urged him with an eagerness that bordered to despair. She had been frantically trying to wake him up ever since he started crying in his sleep and she was thankful Durin was not here to see his father in this mess. His arms tightened around her and she cupped his cheek and drew back in order to see his tear stained face. "Thorin? Can you hear me?"

He shook his head, but kept his eyes closed. "Where am I?"

"With me my love. You are with me…" She kissed his lips softly, delighting in the warmth of his breath that was caressing her cheek.

"In the dungeon?" He whispered.

"You are in our rooms….Thorin look at me." She frowned and her fingers squeezed his jawline.

"Who are you?" He murmured and his eyelids fluttered imperceptibly.

"I am your wife my love…." Her lips dragged upon his as she spoke, but she denied to pull back and allow him to have more air. She didn't want to let him out of her arms now that he was communicating with her for the first time after all those uncertain and lonely days of his oblivion.

"Eilin?" His eyelids opened slowly to reveal his gorgeous azure eyes that she had missed so much.

She moaned and laughed simultaneously. "Yes…I am here…" She nodded excitedly and stroked his cheek.

He looked at her confused for several breathless moments. "Are you truly here?"

She choked her tears and her lips formed a bright smile. "Yes my beloved…" She whispered.

"This isn't a dream?" He frowned and his trembling fingers came up to touch her jawline.

"You are truly here with me. You woke up honey. Feel me….I am here." She held his hand and placed it on her wet cheek.

His bottom lip quivered for a few moments before a groan tore through his chest. "I am with you…This isn't a dream…"

"This is not a dream, no …." She gave him such a loving gaze that his soul felt solaced beyond words.

He inhaled deeply and held his breath along with all the emotions that were trying to bring down the doors of his self-control. "The children…." He breathed heavily.

"Durin never left your side. Thrarin and Rhianaye are with Dis back in Erebor. They don't know what happened. Our children are well my love and so are you…." –Eilin eyes resonated with all the love she felt in her throbbing heart- "….so are you….so are you…." She repeated quietly upon his forehead.

"Durin is he hurt? That man was close to him…the whispers….the shadows almost had him…" The memories from his last moments in front of Dol Guldur assaulted him suddenly and he was unable to stop them from leaking out of his mouth in confused half-finished sentences.

Eilin cupped his cheeks and strained to make his eyes focus on her. "Look at me Thorin!" She commanded.

He did so, but he was quivering under her palms and her heart rushed out to comfort him. "Durin is fine. The shadows didn't get him. He stopped hearing the whispers."

Thorin's eyelids fluttered. "I failed to protect him."

She shook him slightly, but her voice was firm because she wanted to ground him there with her. "You protected our boy and that is what landed you unconscious for so many days. I don't want your first moments awake to be dedicated in berating yourself for being too…."

"Late…I was too late…" He completed her sentence.

She shook him again lightly. "Stop it do you hear me?" -Her lips ghosted his- "Please stop this."

His hot breath warmed her lips as he gasped heavily. It took him more than a few moments to speak again. "I am so sorry…." He whispered.

She frowned and closed her eyes. A sharp pain gashed through her heart. "Whatever for my love?"

"For everything that happened that night. For everything before that and for everything that will come after this moment." His hushed tone was so profound it rung through her spine making her curl inwards.

"I don't care about anything. You are here with me now. That is all that matters." She murmured on his mouth and held her breath for his response.

Thorin closed his eyes and leaned his head on her bosom. Her hand lingered above his head for a mere moment as she heard his silent weeping. Her lips parted and her eyes drowned with unbidden tears. Her hand came down to clasp his nape protectively and she kissed the top of his head as he emptied himself in her embrace. "Let it all out my darling I am here for you. I will always be here for you." She whispered and the more she talked the more he cried so hard it sounded as if his heart would shatter. The more he cried the more she cradled him closer, promising her loyalty. Telling him that they would solve everything and that he had nothing to fear anymore. So he cried in her hold until his exhausted and still healing body finally seemed to give up. When his arms released her and his head fell heavily back on the pillow Eilin drew back horrified and cupped his cheeks.

She looked at his closed eyes and shook him hard. "Thorin! Thorin open your eyes! Don't go under again…no!" She snapped and counted inwards for some response.

Any kind of response.

And he gave it to her.

His arms drew her in his large embrace, the one she had missed so much. He didn't speak, but his lips smoothed over her brow and offered her a gentle kiss. Then his breathing calmed down once again and this time she allowed him to be pulled in by sleep, even if she did it half-heartedly. All she cared about right now was for him to recuperate….everything else had to wait…

…because Thorin's unforeseen lachrymose so soon after waking up, had crushed her very depths.

* * *

 

She awoke in the middle of the night and tucked in father and son before she decided to sit at the balcony in order to relish at the enchanting silence of Mirkwood. The peace that surrounded her was not enough to settle down the turmoil that Ith's words had stirred in her heart, neither the happiness from seeing her husband finally out of that dreaded oblivion. Even though her mind insisted to remind her that she was here to protect her family no matter what, her heart was waiting at the sidelines patiently for Thorin to recover so she could ask him about Íth.

She wanted to know if there was even the slightest thread of truth in that woman's words. If Thorin had showed her unusual preference. If he had been willing to accept her intimacy because he felt lonely. If Eilin had indeed been so distant and cold towards him that she gave him reason to approach another woman in order to feel loved. She wanted to know about his meeting with Íth in his offices and if that woman propped her head on his knees while he caressed her. She wanted to face him with the question that burned through the folds of her heart, making her unable to sleep quietly. "Did you kiss her? Would you like to kiss her?"

She never thought once during their marriage that their arguments would drive him so far away that he'd seek the company of another woman. Throughout the years Thorin had rebuked every romantic interest and there had been many, which were of course much less intense than Ith's. No woman dared approach the King more than necessary and most of them mooned over him from afar, but this woman somehow gained access to his inner circle. It was the friendship of her son with Thrárin that allowed her to approach more than was deemed appropriate and during that time Eilin was too preoccupied with her own problems to notice what was taking place under her nose no matter how many times Rhiannon tried to warn her.

When she noticed it was already too late according to Ith's words, but was she honest with Eilin or were her words meant to hurt and manipulate? Only Thorin could answer those burning questions and he was currently in recovery. Ith's coercion couldn't wait for Thorin to recuperate fully though in order to be handled. Eilin had to act now before it was too late. She couldn't allow Íth to destroy Thorin's reputable character in the eyes of his court and of his people.

 _Even if what she said was true?_ Eilin's mind asked.

Eilin's eyes welled and her fingers twisted painfully around the hem of her tunic. "Even then…." She whispered. Right now it was more important for her to protect Thorin and his rule than to find out the truth. She was going to do everything necessary to make sure that Íth wouldn't speak and then she would seek out the truth from him. She gritted her teeth against the torturous images that her mind created of him kissing Íth. Her ego screamed for her to shake Thorin awake and demand answers. It commanded her to strike him down if his answers were not satisfactory and walk away with her pride intact.

Yet….

…Her heart's interception was strong enough to settle down all that swelling surge of anger in her chest and quiet down the need to demand answers right then and there. Apparently her love was strong enough against this attack to fortify her soul and make her priorities shift from herself onto her husband. First of all she wanted to see him fully awake and healthy. Then she wanted to make sure Íth would remain silent and that Thorin's status wouldn't be tarnished by her stories.

After that she wanted him to see his children and feel the safety of his family and friends enveloping him. Only then would she allow herself to face him about Íth and the rumors she had to combat through at that moment.

She barely moved and her countenance seemed peaceful even though her mind was caught in an endless, merciless loop. It was long after dawn that she finally walked back inside and sat at the bed next to Thorin. She caressed his long mane and felt her eyes welling from the love her heart held for him. The thought that she almost lost her most cherished treasure grabbed her by the lapels and screamed at her face with such force that she moaned and propped her forehead on his temple, promising to him that she wouldn't let anyone hurt him as long as she was alive.

Then carefully without wishing to alert him nor Durin, she got in bed and burrowed close to him yearning to rob some from the heat of his body. She buried her cold feet under his strong calves and threw her arm above his stomach. Then her head rested on his back and when she heard his strong heartbeat thudding in her ear she closed her eyes and allowed it to lull her to sleep once more.

It was late in the morning when Eilin felt her eyes opening with great difficulty. Her body was heavier than usual which meant that she didn't get enough sleep. Nevertheless the insistent banging on the door and Durin jumping at the end of the bed confirmed to her that sleep was out of the question for now. She frowned and groaned in protest, but slowly another sensation started registering in her dazed mind.

It was the feeling of soft butterfly kisses from a pair of very gentle lips on her brow that made her eyes fly open. She grabbed Thorin's arms that were enfolding her and pulled back. His stunning azure eyes were looking at her affectionately. "Thorin?"

His mouth formed a soft smile. "I didn't want to wake you up."

Durin took a final jump and landed crossed-legged near the feet of his parents. "Morning mom!"

Eilin threw a confused gaze at her son and then at her husband who seemed fully awake and unwilling to let her out of his arms. She cupped his cheek and smiled. "Is this a dream?"

He shook his head. "No."

"I woke him up mommy!" -Durin crawled up to them and grabbed his mom's hands pulling them away from his dad's face- "Are you happy?"

"You woke dad up? How?" Eilin frowned.

"He copied his sister's technique. He started jumping in bed yelling for me to wake up." Thorin pulled her in and his lips touched hers gently.

"Yuck dad, no!" -Durin closed his eyes and crawled back at the bottom of the bed. He hid his face between his knees and began rocking- "I hate it when you guys do that!"

Eilin reciprocated his gentle touch and pecked his mouth tenderly feeling her chest congested from all that love she felt. "And you woke up? Just like that…so easily…"

Thorin nodded quietly.

"No crying, no nothing…" She continued in disbelief.

He shook his head.

"I would have done it much sooner, had I known this trick would work." Eilin raised her brows.

Thorin closed his eyes and touched his forehead to her cheek. "I feel so heavy and tired. How long have I been under?"

"Four days." Eilin caressed every inch of his face unable to hide her excitement. She couldn't get enough of him at that moment.

"What happened to me?" -Thorin's brows wrinkled- "Won't they give up for Mahal's sake?" He added as the knocking on the door insisted.

"We are coming! Give us a minute!" Eilin called and the knocking seized.

Durin's head snapped up. "I'll tell you what happened daddy!" He cried and then without being asked he began relating to him everything that happened from the moment he found him and Nameless in Dol Guldur up to now.

When he finished Thorin sighed and nodded from Eilin's bosom. "I am sorry I scared you so much."

She kissed his brow and closed her eyes. "I don't care. I only care that you are here with us again."

"Me too dad. I was so afraid you were going to die. I am so sorry I didn't protect you." Durin said from the bottom of the bed.

Thorin lifted up his head slightly. "What are you talking about son?" –He frowned- "Come here." He lifted his arm calling Durin over and his eyes caught the heavy bandage around his finger. He felt his heart plummeting as the memories of the final days before his fall slowly began returning to him. Durin run and burrowed between his mom and dad and Thorin embraced him cordially. That is when the knocking on the door started again. "Can you please tell them to go away?" Thorin looked at his wife beseechingly.

She leaned over and placed a soft prolonged kiss on his lips. Right now that she was seeing her husband awake once more and on the way to a full recovery she felt invincible against all adversity and pumped up for the day. "Of course my darling." She said and got out of bed.

Thorin tucked Durin closer to him. "What did you just say my proud warrior? That you failed to protect me?"

Durin grasped his dad's tunic and buried his face on his chest. "I should have protected you in Dol Guldur. Instead I let the shadows get you."

When Eilin opened the door Thorin saw the faces of Balin and Dwalin trying to peep inside. His mouth touched Durin's forehead gently. "Mom told me that you didn't want to go back to Erebor with your siblings and auntie Dis, is that true?"

Durin nodded. "I wanted to stay here and help."

"You helped more than you think possible because I felt you near me all the time." Thorin said quietly.

"You did?" Durin frowned.

"That is why I woke up. I wanted to see you, hold you and tell you how much I love you. I could hear you in my sleep. You talked to me, didn't you?" Thorin kissed his brow.

"Yes daddy. I didn't want you to get into the boat to the undying lands." Durin murmured.

Thorin's back broke with goosebumps. "I didn't get in it because of you. You see? You protected me more than you think."

Durin sniffled and wrapped his small hands around Thorin's nape. "I did?"

"If it hadn't been for you and your mom constantly talking to me I might not have returned. You are my fearless guardian and I must reward you, if not by my love which is eternal for you, then with something more tangible." Thorin smiled and pulled back in order to see Durin's teary eyes.

"What is tangible daddy?" Durin muttered.

"Something concrete that will remind you of how courageous you have been during this tempestuous time and how much you have helped your poor father." Thorin said and removed one of his rings. He searched and found Durin's small hand. Then he placed the ring on one of his fingers.

Durin's eyes grew wider than Thorin had ever seen them. "You are giving me one of grandpa Thror's rings?"

"I want to show you how grateful I am for the help you gave me during my illness, son." Thorin smiled at him dotingly.

Durin kissed his cheek steadfastly. "Thank you daddy!"

Thorin closed his eyes and cupped the back of his son's head affectionately. "We shall have to make a necklace out of that ring until you are old enough to wear it on your fingers or it will surely fall off."

"I will ask mister Nameless to help me make one. He is good with his hands." Durin said enthusiastically.

"Nameless…" -Thorin closed his eyes- "I seem to recall that name."

Balin intervened from the door. "It is of whom I wish to speak to you also laddie, if you are able to listen to me. How are you?"

Eilin led Balin and Dwalin inside with a bright smile of relief that she was unable to hide as she gazed at her husband's countenance.

"I am better than I was yesterday Balin." Thorin said and rested his head back to the pillow, trying to draw Durin with him, but the boy had other ideas. He gave another firm kiss on his dad's cheek and got out of bed in order to show his new ring to his mom and Dwalin.

"I think we should allow the King to rest a while before exhausting him with matters of state, don't you think Lord Balin?" Eilin said carefully and smiled proudly at Durin's ring.

"Nameless is not a matter of state, but he is a serious matter non-the-less." Balin said and tried to find Thorin's eyes, which were closed.

"Isn't it beautiful uncle? It was grandpa Thror's! Daddy gave it to me because I was very brave and I protected him from his illness! I was the one who woke him up!" Durin said smugly to Dwalin.

Thorin's best friend smiled at the prince. "Indeed you are courageous beyond words. Your dad did well to give you this token of love."

Durin started jumping up and down and Eilin admired him with an adoring smile for a few moments before turning to Balin. "I know you wish to inform Thorin about everything that has taken place my Lord, but look at him. He needs some more untroubled rest in order to recuperate fully before he is able to give you all his undivided attention."

"What has taken place?" Thorin's eyes cracked opened and a confused scowl twisted his thick brows.

Eilin sat next to him and clasped his hands tightly. Then she cleaned several soft silvery ringlets away from his temple. "Nothing that you need to concern yourself with at this moment my heart. I have everything in your stead. Don't worry."

"The children?" Thorin's eyes cracked open.

"I told you they are safe with Dis." Eilin smiled.

"Erebor, the alliance, the Seven?" Thorin continued.

"Everything is in order." Eilin continued calmly and gave a warning glance at Balin who remained silent.

"Nothing that requires my immediate attention?" His eyes fell on Balin.

He opened his mouth to speak, but Eilin intervened. "Nothing I cannot handle for you. Correct Lord Balin?"

Balin held Thorin's inquisitive gaze for a few moments before he bowed. "The Queen of Durin's Folk is doing an exceptional job in your stead laddie. Don't ever doubt that."

Thorin pulled her hand and placed a soft kiss on it. "I don't know about everything else, but we are due for a long talk, just me and you, right?" His eyes held a tone of resolution that made her heart twitch in pain.

"Not now my beloved…." She leaned down and kissed his hand too, trying to relate to him all the affection she felt for him.

He pulled her closer and his lips ghosted on her cheek. "There are things that need to be said… it is important." He whispered.

"I know and we shall talk, but not now." She frowned and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Send them out and stay with me. Let us talk now please…." His whisper was broken and hid so much anguish behind it that her heart twitched.

"No it is me that will beg you. I thought I lost you. I thought our kids were going to grow up without a father…." She lingered breathlessly.

He gritted his teeth and squeezed her hands tightly.

She shook her head and spoke quietly into his ear. "You will rest for me and for our children. You will recover fully and then we shall speak about everything. Nothing is more important to me than you getting healthy once again, do you understand?"

"Yes…" he exhaled and she felt his tears wetting her cheekbone.

"Rest and allow me to take care of everything for you. We have all the time in the world to talk. Remember that I love you more than life. That hasn't changed one single bit…" She kissed his bearded jawline and caressed his beard braid, lingering on her wooden daisy bead that held it in place.

His throat closed down as a surge of relief washed over his heart at her words and his heavy arm fell around her shoulders drawing her in roughly. "I love you too…" he murmured.

She nodded and kissed his neck. "Please rest…can you do that for me?"

He nodded and she laid down his head on the pillow gently. "Thank you my gem." His mouth formed a gentle smile, but his beautiful eyes still held shadows in them.

She caressed his troubled brow. "Your eyes have dark circles. You suffered from fever and hallucinations for so long. You need to have a good and undisturbed sleep. Everything else can wait. Alright?"

"Alright…" He scowled against the unbearable need to close his eyes once more.

"Then sleep and I will stand guard." She whispered with a caring smile.

Durin run and climbed on the other side of the bed and threw his arms around Thorin's neck. "I will stand guard over you too daddy!"

Thorin patted his son's arms and a faded smile brightened his countenance. "Thank you my boy."

Wrapped as he was safely between them he permitted himself to let go and sleep came easily over his body. Eilin caressed his face tenderly for several moments until his breathing turned heavy once more and Durin mimicked her by caressing his father's long mane. "Is he asleep again mommy?" He looked up keenly.

"Yes baby." -She pulled Durin by the hand and he climbed over his father to sit next to her. Then she turned to Lord Balin- "I will hear what you have to say about master Nameless in the King's stead my Lord."

Balin felt all the blood draining from his face. "It is nothing important my Lady. Nothing that cannot wait for the King to wake up."

"Don't you have faith in me my Lord? You trusted me to take over Dol Guldur and King Thranduil, why not about this Petty Dwarf?" She spoke in a hushed tone not wanting to alert her husband as her hand rested on his warm cheek relishing on the way his rough beard rubbed against her sensitive palm.

"I trust you with everything concerning our kin lassie…it is just that…." Balin looked at a loss for words.

"It is not important enough to engage your attention, especially since Lord Durar just arrived in the realm." Dwalin decided to intervene and help his brother.

Eilin stood up abruptly. "When?"

"Just now. King Thranduil offered him lodgings." Balin rejoined.

"Did Lady Íth see him?" Eilin's brow clouded.

"No one did, as you commanded." Balin's eyes thinned.

Eilin inhaled deeply. "Can watch over Thorin please Dwalin?" She said.

"It will be my pleasure." Dwalin walked to the other side of the bed and made himself at ease in a chair before Eilin could say another word.

Then she turned to Durin. "Will you go play with Celebriel while I take care of some matters of state baby?"

Durin nodded. "Sure mom."

She placed her finger on his mouth. "Not a word to anyone that Lord Durar is here."

"No mom." Durin frowned and assumed his most serious face.

"And after that I promise to come meet master Nameless as you have been asking me to do all this time. Okay?" Eilin smiled.

Durin clapped his hands and embraced her. "Thank you!"

Balin bit his lower lip and looked at Dwalin who shook his head imperceptibly to keep him quiet.

"Will you escort me to Lord Durar?" She turned her attention to Balin.

"Yes my Lady." He replied and opened the door for her.

With one last worried look towards her husband, Eilin steeled her heart and left the rooms. When they walked several feet away from her doors she took hold of Balin's elbow and stopped him.

He turned to her with a frown. "Lassie, what's wrong?"

She hesitated visibly. "I don't want Thorin to know of Lord Durar's presence here."

Balin bowed his head slowly. "Alright."

"I want my meeting with him and his stay in the Realm to remain between me, you and Dwalin."

"Okay lassie." Balin's voice didn't sound as certain.

She swallowed heavily. "I know your loyalty lies with my husband, but it also lies with me, correct?"

"Of course."

"Then all this remains between us on pain of death. Whatever I am doing is for the good of the Kingdom and for safeguarding Thorin's rule. Is that clear my Lord?" Her eyes hardened, but there was also a faded hue of plead in their depths.

Balin bowed deeply. "As you command my Lady."

Eilin closed her eyes with a deep sigh of relief. "Thank you."

The old advisor smiled. "Anything for you lassie, but if you get into trouble you come find me, okay?"

The hairpin on her beautiful lips curled up and her face filled with gratitude. "Yes. Now lead me to him."

Balin reciprocated the smile and engaged her elbow.

* * *

 

The moment the door closed behind Balin, Dwalin sprang into action. He leaned over Thorin. "Hey, wake up…" He whispered and eyed the door, listening closely to make sure that Eilin and his brother were not close to the rooms anymore.

To say that it was easy for Thorin to wake up from that slumber so close to falling asleep was an understatement. Even though he was thankfully not drawn into another nightmare, his sleep was rather deep and not easily disturbed by Dwalin's tries.

"It didn't take you long to sleep again, did it you bloody bastard? Now wake up, we don't have time for any more snoring." Dwalin scowled and alternated between patting his cheek firmly and shaking him.

Thorin didn't budge even though he could hear Dwalin's annoying voice muffled through a long dark tunnel. He wanted to perpetuate his repose for as long as possible. He felt so comfortable at that moment that he didn't want to be bothered by anyone apart from his wife. He didn't even make an effort to respond to his friend. He just inwardly prayed that he'd be left alone.

"Oh, come on this is ridiculous. You've been sleeping for four days! You've rested enough. Wake up! Wake up before your wife returns. We don't have too much time." He shook Thorin violently and the next smack was so hard he didn't give him a chance to dodge awakening anymore.

"What the hell…." Thorin gasped and his reaction was surprisingly alert for his state. He caught Dwalin's hand midair and twisted it roughly.

"Thank heavens. Now sit up!" Dwalin grabbed his lapels and pulled him up.

"What in the name of Mahal are you doing? Are you insane?" Thorin mumbled trying to get a grip of his surroundings.

"Give me your hand." –Dwalin said and helped him - "I am not insane. I am just trying to seize the opportunity now that we are alone to inform you about several very important things that happened while you were unconscious."

Thorin steadied himself on Dwalin's shoulder. "And you couldn't wait for me to wake up properly?"

"Nope, we don't have any time for such luxuries." Dwalin scolded and smacked his cheeks to arouse him more.

The King pushed his hands away vexed. "Will you stop doing that? I am dizzy as hell. Did it ever occur to you that I have been through hell while I was under and the last thing I feel right now is rested?"

"You want to give me the sort or the long version of what you've been through because I have important things to communicate with you." Dwalin straightened Thorin's body and combed his hair away from his face, trying to groom him as best as he could.

Thorin whacked his arms annoyed beyond reason, still in desperate need to lay back down. "The way you are acting right now I don't want to give you any version at all. Leave me the hell alone!"

Dwalin arranged Thorin's thick hair in a loose ponytail and then grabbed his face and focused in his still cloudy and confused eyes. "Listen to me you grumpy old man! You've made a mess out of things. You poisoned yourself at an Orcish blade that was old enough to be carried by Sauron himself. You got cursed by the veil of Dol Guldur and while you've been out woolgathering all hell broke loose. I don't doubt that you've had some interesting experiences inside that nightmare buzzing head of yours, but reality is much more important, especially when it has multiple new factors you are unaware of right now."

"That was unexpectedly long and I am currently too light-headed to understand what you are talking about. There isn't anything more important to me than what I have to communicate with Eilin. You have to try better than that or else leave me be, because I am hardly in the mood for your stupidity." Thorin gave him a side glance and then he looked at his bandaged hand. His thumb caressed the fabric that was wrapped tightly around his finger and he gazed at it lost for several moments. Did that small puncture wound truly knock him out for four bloody days?

Dwalin looked at it Thorin's hand too. "There is nothing more important than what you have to communicate with Eilin right?"

Thorin's eyes fell on him heavily. "No and I am still trying to recover if you haven't noticed. Hell Dwalin I can barely see straight." He scowled bewildered at how indifferent his friend was to his plight.

"How about learning what Eilin has done in your absence for starters then?" Dwalin's eyes thinned on him.

Thorin sighed and rubbed his forehead, truly not expecting to hear anything too shocking as he knew his wife like the back of his hand. "What did she do? Rip to Erebor to shreds perchance?"

Dwalin crossed his arms and scrounged his lips. "She superseded the orders you gave to Gimli about Dol Guldur…."

Thorin looked up slowly at that and his brows creased.

"Don't look at me like that. You were solemnly lucky that your wife is such a wise and spirited woman. She saved your name by retracting orders that could have destroyed our alliance with the Elves. She not only stopped Gimli before he had the chance to attack Dol Guldur, but she also spoke to Thranduil on your behalf and placated him. If she hadn't been there to take action Gimli would have tried to penetrate a stronghold that is heavily protected by dark magic without the valuable assistance of the Elves and the Lady of Light. He would have failed and many of our kin would have fell. Then you would have been left with hundreds of deaths in your hands and many explanations to give to your people as this campaign was a lost cause from the beginning. You were not acting in the interest of your kin, but of your family only. You were willing to sacrifice many good men for nothing. Additionally Thranduil's trust to you has been badly traumatized and he was ready to withdraw his allegiance, which would have affected our commerce and our military operations not to mention the control we have over the North in general. The balance of the mighty rule you have at this moment is maintained due to our amicable relationship with the Elves and their allies….the Northmen, Gondor and the Rohirrim. Do you understand how many things you endangered by giving those senseless orders?" Dwalin's voice was measured yet stern.

Thorin shook his head and closed his eyes. "Yes…."

Dwalin pursed his lips feeling a wave of regret for scolding his friend. "You were ill, I understand…you were not thinking straight. You were hardly….you…."

"I was assaulted by nightmares…that accursed fever was making my mind so dazed and I was afraid for my children. Durin was hearing the same whispers as I did…." Thorin scowled at his bandaged hand, feeling his heart skirting at how mistaken he had been in his ruling for the first time in centuries.

Dwalin squeezed his shoulder. "We all understand how hard everything must have been for you. You were lucky Eilin was there to take over and set everything straight."

Thorin's brows arched and he inclined his head silently.

Dwalin frowned. "Tell me you are not going to scold her for what she did. She saved your sorry ass….both in Erebor and with Thranduil."

Thorin rubbed his bandaged finger with a deep scowl. "She recalled my orders?"

"Yes…"

"Nobody caused any issue with that?" Thorin asked quietly.

"While you were unconscious she was legally Head of State and she did a bloody good job out of it." Dwalin tried to find Thorin's eyes.

"She talked to Thranduil?" Thorin's lips upturned in a soft smile.

Dwalin saw that and felt a wave of partial relief. "Indeed. She spoke to him so effectively that the Elven King cannot stop talking about the grace and elegance of the Queen under the Mountain. Your wife has made a lasting impression on this sentient being. Tell me that's not highly impressive."

"It is…" Thorin admitted with a side-glance to his friend.

"I will not allow you to reprimand her for acting against your orders. Beware." Dwalin's eyes were hard.

"You sound so protective of her." Thorin's brow arched.

Dwalin's lips played with a faded smile. "You know I like her a lot…"

Thorin nodded and gazed at his hand again. "I know…"

"Are you angry at her?" Dwalin tried to discern Thorin's mood.

Thorin scowled heavily. "No, just deeply thankful that she is in my life…" He whispered and his eyes welled.

Dwalin closed his and sighed in relief. "Thank heavens…."

Thorin's smile was fleeting as he fought to keep his tears at bay.

Dwalin squeezed his shoulder. "I know how much you love her that is why it is so important for you to hear what I have to tell you next…."

Thorin didn't want to raise his head to face Dwalin. "What could be more important than her saving me in this manner?"

"That she might need saving in turn, soon." Dwalin rejoined.

This time Thorin's head shot up and his eyes seared demandingly in Dwalin's. "What do you mean?"

"Okay…dizziness gone?" Dwalin looked at him nervously.

Thorin's jawline gritted. "Stop pussyfooting and tell me what is wrong. Why would Eilin need saving?"

Dwalin inhaled deeply and closed his eyes. Then after a few moments of concentration he spoke. "Remember the man who saved Durin?"

"Vaguely." Thorin sulked.

"Does he remind you of anyone you might have known in the past?" Dwalin said carefully.

Thorin's eyes thinned and he tried to remember, but was unable to. "No…I can hardly remember him at this moment. Why?"

Dwalin pressed his lips and looked towards the floor searchingly.

Thorin's brow clouded. "Is that master Nameless that Balin wanted to talk to me about?"

"Yes and to start with….he is not exactly Nameless." Dwalin pursed his lips.

Thorin shrugged. "Nobody is….so what's his name?"

Dwalin counted inwards for several moments before finally whispering. "Othin…"

Thorin closed his eyes and shook his head lost for a few moments. "Othin?"

"Lord Othin of the Firebeard clan….he fought next to your grandfather in the battle of Azanulbizar. Does that name mean anything to your dazed head?" Dwalin clasped Thorin's shoulder. He didn't want to let him out of his control during this vital moment.

Thorin's eyes kept darting between the floor, the window and the side-table for several edgy moments. "Eilin's father was named Othin…."

Dwalin nodded and squeezed his shoulder. "Yeah…it's not a coincidence…just to get ahead of you."

Thorin looked at him totally lost. "What are you telling me?"

Dwalin inhaled deeply and pressed his lips. "Othin is here."

Thorin's lips parted and his eyes filled with utter confusion. He was unable to speak.

Dwalin closed his eyes. "Okay, let's take it from the start. I can understand the shock especially in your ill state."

Thorin raised his hand in authority. "Are you trying to tell me that Eilin's father is here?"

Dwalin nodded slowly. "Balin almost had a heart attack when he recognized him yesterday."

"Eilin's father saved my son?" Thorin seemed disorientated to say the least.

Another careful nod came from Dwalin.

"Eilin's father saved his grandson?" Thorin looked towards the window with a deep frown of disbelief.

"Yes…" Dwalin murmured.

"He was haunting the forest…" Thorin left his thought unfinished.

"Possibly trying to get a glimpse of his grandchildren…" Dwalin added.

"…and his daughter?" Thorin's gaze was a mixture of dreaded realization and urgency.

Dwalin gave him a quiet nod.

Thorin reached out and grabbed Dwalin's arm. "How sure is Balin of this?" His whisper was broken.

"He almost fainted when he realized. It took me a long time to bring him around. Is that good enough for you?"

Thorin nodded slowly and looked stunned towards the window. "He is here…."

"He was about to flee, but your son convinced him to stay…Talk about irony, right?" Dwalin smirked.

"He knew that someone from the old Lords would finally recognize him and he wanted to make a run for it." Thorin murmured.

"Probably."

"Does Eilin know?" Thorin looked up immediately.

"Of course not. That is why it was so important for us to communicate this to you without her present." Dwalin frowned.

Thorin glowered at his friend and pushed himself up. The moment his legs were forced to carry his weight after several days of immobility they almost unlocked under him and he steadied himself from one of the posts of the bed. He spat a curse and tried to straighten up.

Dwalin wrapped his strong arm under Thorin's armpit and took off some of his weight. "What the hell are you trying to do? You can barely stand."

"Take me to him." Thorin pointed at the door and began walking towards it, pulling Dwalin with him.

"To Othin, right now?" Dwalin spat in disbelief.

"Yes!" Thorin grumbled.

"I didn't tell you all this so you can stagger to his rooms half giddy and make a mess out of things." Dwalin chastised.

"You have too little faith in me. I am not ill anymore. I know what I am doing very well. I need to see him face to face. Eilin's well-being is depending on this man's presence." He stopped abruptly and stared back at his friend.

"Wait a minute." Dwalin frowned.

Thorin grabbed his lapels and pulled him to his face curtly. "My wife's bloody sanity depends on this man and I will not allow her to be endangered in this manner, do you understand!?"

"Yes for Mahal's sake, calm down!" Dwalin agreed quickly.

"No one knows about this except from me, Balin and you on pain of death. Is that clear?!" Thorin grumbled and his eyes spat the very fires of mount Doom.

Dwalin nodded tersely. "Yes you crazy bastard."

Thorin paused in a sudden afterthought. "And I suppose Durin is with him all the time?"

"Last time I checked they were feather-fishing for arrow tails." Dwalin cringed.

Thorin's face settled and he staggered to the door, grabbing the handle the last moment before collapsing.

"Can you please wait a moment?" -Dwalin snapped angrily and steadied him on his body again- "You can barely walk!"

"Take me to him!" Thorin commanded.

"Do you have the mental clarity to handle this?" Dwalin frowned at him concerned.

"More than you think…" Thorin's eyes thinned in determination and he turned the handle.

 


	25. One final chance

"Hey that is so pretty!" Celebriel admired Durin's ring.

"I know." -He smiled proudly and caught her arm pulling her behind a column- "Now silence."

Celebriel conformed to his wishes. "It's a bit big for your finger though. It might fall off."

"Master Nameless will make a necklace out of it for me until I grow older and be able to wear it." He searched down the corridor for any sign of his mother.

"Good idea. Who gave it to you?" Celebriel couldn't stop admiring either the ring or Durin's face.

"My dad, because I was very courageous and I protected him!" Durin bragged and his face lit up.

Celebriel tittered. "You are very brave indeed."

"I might give this ring one day to my future wife, like dad gave his ring to my mom." Durin murmured and his eyes darted around sharply.

Celebriel's face became crimson. "So you will give it to me?"

Durin stared at her. "Why you?"

"I might be your wife one day…" The Elfling rejoined emphatically.

Durin flinched. "Yack Celebriel…we are too young to think like that now."

Celebriel's drive got grounded hard. "Maybe you'd like to give it to that tom-boy Lis…"

Durin shuddered. "Yack times a hundred. Can you shut up with this nonsense?"

Celebriel crossed her arms. "Well if you talk like that I will never marry you."

"Good!" Durin spat and saw his mom appearing in the hallway along with Lord Balin.

Celebriel scowled at him. "If that is how you feel I am going home. I am tired and hungry. I am not in the mood to take part in your little adventures." She made to get up and blow their cover, but Durin was quick to yank her down again.

"Stay down, they are going to see us!" He shushed.

Celebriel peeped above his shoulder. "Why are we sneaking up on your mom by the way?"

"I fear she might tell master Nameless to leave." Durin sulked.

"How do you know?" Celebriel grasped his shoulder for support in order to see better.

"That's his room. What is she doing at his room along with dad's advisor? This is serious and I know they are going to tell him to leave because he is a Petty Dwarf and they don't want him to keep me company." Durin returned sourly.

"You really like that guy." Celebriel remarked.

He gestured for her to keep silent.

When his mom and Balin entered the rooms, Durin got up, took Celebriel's hand and led her to one of the adjoining rooms. "I like him a lot and I want him to stay. Now come on."

"Where are we going?" She tiptoed after him.

"To listen in on them." Durin knocked on the door of the adjoining room.

"This eavesdropping got you in trouble with your father. It is going to get you in trouble with your mom too!" Celebriel warned.

"No it won't. Now hush." He commanded and they both remained silent for an answer.

"No one is in." Celebriel whispered and looked fearfully at the corridor expecting someone to appear at any moment.

"Yeah…think so too…" He said and turned the handle. He opened the door and peaked inside. When he saw it was empty he drew Celebriel inside.

"My heart is pounding like mad." She exhaled and leaned against the door.

"That's what a friendship with a Dwarf feels like." Durin replied casually and walked to the wall. He placed his ear on it and closed his eyes.

Celebriel crossed her arms and humphed. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Listen in on them…" he stared at her.

"You think our walls are paper thin?" Celebriel uncrossed her arms and marched up to him.

"Dad says they are." Durin remarked.

She waved him off. "That's so silly. Our homes are very well build. Only a Dwarf would have diminished the ability of other races to build as well as your kin does."

"Can you keep it down? I am trying to listen." Durin gestured annoyed.

Celebriel opened the windows and looked outside. "Get away from the wall and come here you doofus."

Durin straightened up. "What did you call me?"

"Come over here now!" Celebriel called him.

Durin stomped over peeved. "What do you want?"

She grabbed his hand and pulled him out at the balcony. "The only way to hear in on them is to go there. Their window is open. We will be able to hear everything."

Durin grabbed the railing. "And how do you propose we do that? There is a huge gap between the balconies." He blurted.

Celebriel pushed him out of the way and casually climbed over the railing.

He yelped and grabbed her forearm. "Are you mental?!"

"First time I am seeing the mighty Durin afraid." Celebriel flicked her brow sassily and pushed him away.

"You are going to fall to your death!" He grabbed his hair and his eyes bulged in terror.

"I've done this a hundred times already. Do you think you are the only daredevil of the company? See how easy it is…" She said nonchalantly and stepped on the stony ledge. Then before Durin had the time to stop her she reached out and grabbed one of the thick tree roots that twisted around the outside walls. She stepped on a small overhang with her dainty feet and grinned at him.

"For Mahal's holy beard…." He muttered at a loss and regarded the impressive drop under Celebriel's feet in pure terror.

"If you want to hear what you mother says to Nameless, then follow me." She whispered and without waiting for him she gripped the railing of the other balcony, stepped on the ledge and then jumped inside.

Durin's mouth dropped open at that challenge. How was he ever going to do that without looking like a total wimp to this girl?

Celebriel stooped down next to the window and gestured at him to come over.

Durin steeled his heart and gritted his teeth. Then he prayed for some courage in order to try this leap of faith. It wasn't the legacy of his reincarnation that he asked help from, neither the Gods. It was his father. He tried to imagine his dad in a similar predicament. What would he have done in Durin's place?

_Thorin Oakenshield never runs away from a fight and neither does his son._

Durin's face settled in determination. He inhaled deeply and pulled himself over the railing. It took him far longer than Celebriel to let go of one hand in order to grab the thick tree root and when one of his feet landed on the overhang he didn't dare look down as his heart was ready to jump out of his chest.

He gripped the roots and the vines tightly, hanging on for dear life and felt his feet numb and his stomach in tight knots. The more he feared the drop, the more unstable his legs became until finally his boot that was way too thick for the overhang lost its footing and for a few brief moments he found himself dangling above the chasm of death only by his hands. Celebriel saw his distress and made to climb over the railing to help him, but he managed to get his footing again.

Durin leaned his forehead on the branches and counted inward for his heart to calm down. His wounded pride was what set his hands and legs in motion again or else he would have remained frozen out there until a grown up came to get him off that bloody tree. When he managed to climb above the railing and his feet touched solid ground again he propped his elbows on his knees and heaved. "I am going to kill you for this."

Celebriel placed her finger on her mouth. "Hush. Come…listen." She grabbed his elbow and tagged him to the open windows.

Durin stooped low and took a quick glimpse inside. When he drew back his features were twisted. "That's not Nameless!" He gestured.

Celebriel nodded. "I know. Who is he?" she mimed.

He pulled her close and whispered in her ear. "Lord Durar. One of the Seven High Lords."

"We should go then." She gesticulated towards the other balcony.

"No! I want to listen!" He countered silently and knelt down close to the window in order to eavesdrop on his mother and one of the most important members of the Seven apart from his uncle Dain.

* * *

 

"Close the door." Thorin commanded Dwalin and his eyes turned unyielding upon the crooked figure of his father-in-law.

Thorin felt his nape crawling with anger. "Is this the man?"

Dwalin raised his brow. "Yes."

Othin retreated more into the shadows in a futile effort to escape the inevitable. He would have preferred facing Balin's accusations, in the stead of facing the King's scrutiny anytime. He was not prepared for this….hell all he wanted to do was flee. Through the damn balcony if possible. He calculated how big of a drop that was and dismissed the idea. If he didn't die on the spot, he would most certainly be arrested. Both outcomes would break the heart of young Durin and Nameless didn't want to disappoint these children. His couldn't stomach the thought.

"Lift your head up and salute the King of the North as appropriate." Dwalin commanded.

Nameless made a feeble attempt to raise his head, which failed and then he knelt to the floor. He touched the cold tiles with his forehead and prayed inward that his sentencing would be short and vicious….like he deserved it. This encounter had been inevitable from the moment he decided to lurk in Mirkwood with the faint hope that he'd have a glimpse of her…and of her babies….Now he had no right to cower away from this. He had to stand up and face the overwhelming judgment that was preparing to be catapulted his way through the most powerful man that had ever ruled his kin besides Durin himself. His palms stained the tiles with their sweat as he muttered. "My King…"

Thorin took an unsteady shaking step forward. "Lift your head. I want to see your eyes."

Nameless found himself unable to move as the terror licked his spine.

Thorin pulled his arm from Dwalin's grasp aggressively and took another step closer to the man, feeling his heart bursting with unfathomable fury. "Lift your head …" The command was bristling with rage.

Nameless made a frail effort that ended up in a slightly askew head with most of his hair still covering his face.

A low growl rumbled through Thorin chest and in two wavering steps he was over Nameless. He seized his forearm and hauled him up with unexpected strength. "Look at me!" He demanded and their eyes locked.

What Thorin saw in those green eyes made his heart halt. "I know you…I've seen you before, in Erebor."

Othin pressed his lips and his eyes overflowed with tears.

"You've been in my presence recently haven't you?" Thorin's eyes thinned.

Othin closed his eyes and averted his head.

Thorin wanted to see Othin's eyes again…the ones that were so similar to his wife's. Instead he saw Dwalin making an attempt to come close and raised his hand. "Stop…" -He whispered at his best friend and then his eyes seared at Eilin's father- "I want to see the visage of the man who abandoned his only offspring to the vitriol of lesser men, uncaring for her fate. I want to understand if there is any trace of emotion behind those eyes or just plain old cruelty."

Nameless' heart fell to the darkest pits. "Please Sir…" His voice was muffled.

Thorin's strong fingers twisted brutally around the man's forearm, bruising him. "Please? Have you any idea what your daughter had to go through in order to survive after you left her in that bloody tavern you son of a bitch?!" Thorin thundered.

Dwalin tried to restrain him. "Stop Thorin…no!"

The King pushed him off with such strength that Dwalin had to grab the back of a chair in order not to topple over. He gazed at his friend with mild disbelief.

Nameless felt his knees unlocking and it was only Thorin's strong hands, which held him up.

Thorin lurched at him hard. "She was raped your filthy blood-sucker! The scum of Middle Earth defiled your daughter's womanhood repeatedly and she had to sustain through all that pain and humiliation because you were not brave enough to keep her safe!"

Dwalin tried to unclasp Thorin's deadly grip from Nameless' lapels. "Leave him Thorin…no! Stop it!" He shouted.

Another even stronger shove send Dwalin sprawling to the floor and Thorin's hands came around Nameless' neck this time, intending to throttle him to an inch of his life. "The gentlest woman I have ever met, who was worth to live alongside the Gods, was instead forced to sleep next to whores and bow her head to the worst villains just so she could survive, while you were out there living your life! She suffered because of you! She agonized all her life, questioning why she wasn't enough for her parents and now you have the audacity to appear out of nowhere and rock her world?! I am going to bloody kill you! I swear you are not going to get out of this room alive!" Thorin roared and his fingers squeezed Nameless' neck so hard his eyes rolled back into his head and his skin turned purple. He tried to clasp Thorin's grip of death, but it was impossible.

Eilin's father felt life leaving him and the world turning black around him and he was ready to accept this punishment from the King. He knew he deserved it for everything he had done to his daughter…..or more for everything he never did for her. The words of the King for the fate of Eilin had been enough to steal away any need he had for survival so his final gasps for air and feeble attempts to be released were half-hearted and initiated only by an instinctual need for survival. His mind wished for the King to put him out of his misery.

The only man able to stay Thorin's hand reached out and grabbed his wounded finger so violently the King howled in pain and Dwalin found the opportunity to pull him away from Othin. "In the name of your children stop!" He bellowed.

Othin collapsed on the floor, grabbed his throat and was overcome by a coughing fit that ended up with intense vomiting.

"Let me go!" The King howled and tried to get released from Dwalin's strong grip.

"I will not! What are you going to do? Kill Eilin's father just like that? Will you kill the grandfather of your children you bloody idiot?" Dwalin heaved from the difficulty he had to contain Thorin despite his ill state.

"If I have to in order to avenge what she went through because of him, yes!" Thorin snarled and fought Dwalin's arms to no avail.

"And you think Eilin will thank you for that?" Dwalin snapped.

That was the only thing that seemed to put a stop in Thorin's overwhelming wrath. He exhaled hard and felt his eyes overflowing with tears that he bit back furiously. His fingers wrapped around Dwalin's forearm so forcefully that the strong bodyguard yelped in pain like a little puppy. "Release me." He commanded.

"Do you think your children will thank you for killing their grandfather?" Dwalin tried to reason.

"He is not worth to be called either a father or a grandfather! Don't offend these sacrosanct words in this contemptible manner!" Thorin barked.

"He might not be worth the name, but that is not reason enough to do him in you bloody fool. I thought you told me you had the mental clarity to handle this!" Dwalin growled.

Thorin grabbed Dwalin's hands and pulled them apart. Then he staggered away from him.

Dwalin got on his feet quickly and pointed at him. "Don't make me tackle you again, for I swear to Mahal I am going to break your wounded finger if I have to!" He warned.

Thorin turned haughtily towards Othin who was still fighting to breathe. "Pull him up." He spat.

Dwalin walked over to Othin and grabbed his arm. "Hey mate, you alright?"

Othin nodded, but was unable to speak as his coughing hadn't relented.

"Pull him up!" Thorin barked and it was as if a whip echoed inside the rooms making Dwalin's body instinctively tense. He knew how much to push Thorin when he was in this kind of mood and he was reaching the limits of what he was able to do now.

"Can you stand up?" He asked Othin.

The man nodded and gripped Dwalin's forearm tightly for some support as the bodyguard helped him. He wavered on his legs and Dwalin had to wrap his arm under the man's armpit to keep him up.

"I don't like you at all…" Thorin's eyes thinned on him with malevolence.

"As if you had to state the obvious. You almost killed him…" Dwalin humphed and steadied Othin who was swaying back and forth ready to puke again.

"I deserve all the hate you have for me Sir….all the hate my daughter has for me…" Othin croaked.

Thorin wiped his tunic and flicked his long hair away from his face loftily. He gazed at Othin with enviable detachment considering that a few moments ago he almost choked him to death. "How much do you want?"

Othin looked up with a confused frown and rubbed his sore neck. "What?" He croaked.

"How much gold do you want to make yourself scarce?" Thorin's brow arched in apathy.

Dwalin cringed in confusion, but didn't try to intervene.

Othin shook his head and his blurry vision tried to discern the King's outline. "I don't want any gold your Majesty."

"Don't you? Why did you come here then? Why did you decide to appear after so many years? You weren't there when your daughter was sleeping next to prostitutes. You weren't there when she was sexually assaulted and she needed your protection. You were absent during all those painful experiences of her life and now that you learned your daughter married so high in rank and rules the golden city of Erebor you decided to make your grant entrance, didn't you?" Thorin spoke with unfathomable detachment.

Othin's eyes filled with tears anew. He pushed Dwalin away and crawled on his hands and knees in front of Thorin. He leaned down and kissed Thorin's naked foot. "I swear to you Sir that I never thought of your gold or your position. That is not why I am here. I swear!"

"Three chests of gold. Will that be enough?" Thorin crossed his arms and gazed down at Othin haughtily.

Dwalin cupped his forehead and averted his eyes. He didn't want to be witness to this, especially if Othin accepted the offer.

Othin shook his head and bellowed. "No Sir, it is not the gold. You have misjudged me….I suffered by leaving my child behind, but I had no choice…no choice…please…give me a chance…"

"Give you a chance…" –Thorin humphed contemptuously- "Three chests of gold, a healthy horse, new clothes and an opportunity for work in the Blue Mountains, but under one condition."

Othin's hands shook hard around Thorin's shin. "No…no…no…" He spluttered.

"You will leave and never return. You shall never reveal your name to Eilin and you will not attempt to have another meeting with any of my children. We in turn shall keep your identity a secret and you shall be employed under a new identity." Thorin continued unemotionally.

Othin shook his head. "No…no…please…no." He blurted.

Dwalin couldn't remain quiet any longer. "What the hell are you doing Thorin?"

The King lifted his hand in authority. "Silence!"

Dwalin blanched.

Thorin turned his arrogant eyes to Othin. "Think about my offer. A new life away from the dishonorable name you have created for yourself. No one will know who you are and you will have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of your days."

"You are telling me to stay away from young Durin and young Thrárin?" Othin's words were garbled and muted by his heart-wrenching sobs.

"That goes without saying." Thorin rejoined coldly.

"Thorin!" Dwalin made an attempt to stop him again.

The King's burning eyes halted Dwalin's drive. Then he turned stonily back at Othin. "I am offering you the opportunity of a lifetime."

Othin stuttered unintelligibly.

"Your answer?" Thorin crossed his arms.

Dwalin backed away and sat at the edge of the couch unable to comprehend what his friend was doing. First he tried to kill Eilin's father and then he was bribing him away from his daughter. The first reaction was so much like Thorin, the second had nothing to do with him.

Othin's head shook uncontrollably and he gagged a few times before managing to speak. "You think I am an ignoble crook who saw the opportunity to gain money from his daughter, don't you?"

"Aren't you?" Thorin's eyes were unbearably icy.

"I will not bother my daughter or her children again my Lord. I will leave this evening if you will allow me…." Othin gasped and wiped the fresh tears that sprung from his eyes. Even the thought of betraying Durin was breaking him more than all the hostility or the disparaging words from the King today.

"Dwalin tell Balin to send the ravens in Erebor. They are to send over three chests of gold and a good horse….." Thorin began, but Othin's pained voice stopped him.

"I don't want your gold Sir. I will leave in the night like the criminal you feel I am and I will never bother you again. I will not disturb my daughter at all, but can I beg you for one last favor?"

"You have no right to beg me for anything…." Thorin's lips curled up in disgust.

"Please allow me to stay in Mirkwood. I will not bother anyone. I will hide in the caves like I used to and I will eat what I can hunt. Just please let me stay there…please…please…I beg you…" Othin closed his eyes and rivers of tears stained his wrinkled face.

Dwalin turned away, unable to witness this anymore.

"You refuse my gold and a life of plenty in exchange for a thug life that is below even the filthiest Petty Dwarf?" Thorin's brow arched.

"Yes…it will be the ultimate honor for me …." Othin exclaimed.

"The life of a Petty Dwarf an honor? Why?" Thorin eyes were hard.

"Because I will be close enough to catch a glimpse of my daughter and my grandchildren every once in a while….without bothering them." Othin whispered broken.

"Oh, give me a break." –Thorin humphed with a side-smirk of contempt- "You didn't care enough to sustain your daughter through her hardest times and you will make such a big sacrifice now in the hopes of seeing your forsaken family from afar once in a blue moon?"

Othin knelt to the floor and crossed his hands in prayer to the King. "I know I must seem like the lowermost filth to you, someone who is not worth even a thread of your compassion. I will not try to make any excuses for myself and for what I did to my child. I placed myself in exile all these years and denied to use my name as the least castigation for deserting her to the sick caprices of lesser men. You think I crawled to Erebor like a snake in order to take part of Eilin's fortune, but you are mistaken Sir. I don't want your gold, I don't want a place in your Kingdom and I don't want the security you are offering. I will take all the wrath you have for me happily and I will sustain through any torture or torment you wish to place me under if I am given the chance to admire her and my grandchildren from afar. They will never know my presence…I promise. Just allow me to stay close by until death closes my eyes. I know I don't merit any special treatment from you, but as a father to a father …I am beseeching you….please don't send me away from them….I don't want to leave them ag…." He was unable to finish as his tears choked him.

Dwalin shook his head and dag his fingers in his knees.

Thorin crossed his arms behind his back and started pacing calculatedly around Othin's shrunken body. "So you deny my gold for an opportunity to see your family…"

"From afar…I shall not bother them!" Othin eyes looked up with a readiness that made Thorin's brow lift an inch more.

"Isn't it too late to ask for redemption old man?" Thorin snarled.

Othin lowered his head and nodded. "Too late…that is why I will remain hidden."

"You made your plea as a father…" Thorin drawled.

Othin nodded and lifted his head. His face was contorted in pain. "Yes Sir…please…"

"It is a title you are not worthy off…." Thorin rejoined arrogantly.

Othin averted his eyes. "I know….Mahal only knows how right you are..."

Dwalin walked close to the windows and covered his face in order to hide how much this was affecting him emotionally.

Thorin sauntered casually towards the fireplace and observed a beautiful Elven painting for several tense moments. "I will offer the gold one last time…" He said.

"I will not take it Sir…" Othin wept silently.

"Fatherhood is a title I find more exemplary than any other and my heart bleeds for how indifferently you have taken that role when the Gods bestowed you the honor to bring a child to this world." Thorin's voice was stern.

"I was not indifferent Sir….please allow me to explain why I abandoned her. I did it for her own safety….your Majesty…I beg you." Othin stuttered.

"There isn't reason good enough for me to excuse what you did, so save those pleads for the ears of your daughter if she ever honors you with her attentions." Thorin spat vehemently.

Othin looked up at that and so did Dwalin.

"I insist that I dislike you to the core and I don't want you near my wife and children. I hold strong in the belief that you don't deserve to be called a father nor a grandfather, nevertheless you saved my son and I cannot overlook that. Besides before I close my eyes forever I don't want to reveal to Eilin that I killed you, even though I won't have any qualms for trying it out again if you cross her. I believe you deserve a methodical retribution for what you did. I hold you responsible for Eilin's grim fate all these years, but I shouldn't be the one to hand that judgment over to you, for I will be judged in turn as Dwalin said. Whatever is done, must be delivered by your daughter and her alone." Thorin's voice was unemotional.

"Thank heavens." Dwalin closed his eyes in relief.

Othin gazed up eagerly. "My daughter?"

"If she ever decides to honor you with her attentions, as I said before." Thorin pursed her lips.

"She will never have to see me again, Sir! I promise I won't bother her." Othin looked confused out of his wits. He was unable to understand what the King was telling him.

"My son Durin has taken a liking at you I am told." Thorin fingers twisted angrily behind his back.

"Not only Durin." Dwalin's voice held a tone of warning.

Thorin's nose flared at that interruption. "And my son Thrárin even more. He was bringing you food, correct? Actually I cooked for you unsuspectingly several times over." He sounded annoyed beyond reason.

"I never asked for food…it was because of Lord Thrárin's kind heart …" Othin mumbled.

"As much as I hate to admit it you must have done something right in order to gain such fierce protection from them. Especially Durin who was born distrustful." Thorin scrounged his lips.

Othin was at a loss for words. All his tears, fear, pain and bruised neck meant nothing in front of what the King was telling him at that moment.

"Durin is smitten with his grandfather. This man protected your children more than once. He deserves a chance, not to be throttled to death." Dwalin added gravely.

When Thorin turned back to the beautiful painting an imperceptible smile appeared on his lips. "Get him up and give him some water." He said calmly to Dwalin.

The bodyguard frowned in confusion, but did as he was told. When he helped Othin back on the couch and gave him the glass he noticed how unsteady his hands were and helped him take a sip which choked him at first. Dwalin looked at the angry red marks Thorin's fingers had left on this man's neck and cringed. "Do you need anything else?"

Othin shook his head and gave a fearful look at the King's rigid back. "No Sir, thank you."

Dwalin clasped his shoulder. "You fought next to my brother in the Battle of Azanulbizar bravely. Balin remembers you well. You protected King Thrór with your life until the moment he fell."

Thorin's hands tensed.

"I was not brave enough to keep him alive, as I was not brave enough to battle through life's hardships and the harsh laws of our kin in order to keep my daughter with me. I am dishonorable, that is why I have put myself in exile. I am not worth my name or the appraisal to belong to the brave clan of the Firebeards. The King is right. I am only worth death….but that card hasn't been dealt to me yet despite the fact that I chased after it for centuries." Othin's voice was diminished.

Thorin's brows met angrily. "I can do that favor for you easily anytime."

"Thorin!" Dwalin scolded.

Thorin gritted his teeth and inhaled deeply. "Beware. You shall not be allowed to live in Erebor close to my family if you intend to make a run for it whenever it suits you." He said flatly.

Dwalin looked up at that with a ghostly smile, feeling the first traces of relief.

Othin gasped. "In Erebor?"

Thorin swallowed heavily and his wide shoulders tensed. "If I bring you back with us, if my kids bond with you, if Eilin learns about you and decides to give you a second chance and you leave suddenly because it suits you, you die. If you break Eilin's heart, you die. If you break my children's heart, you die. I am going to trace you to the ends of the world and I will slash your throat with my bare hands. Is that clear?"

Othin shook his head and a deep moan erupted from his throat.

Thorin looked loftily above his shoulder. "Is that clear?"

Othin nodded quickly. "Yes…y-es Sir."

"If you remain in Erebor then you will pledge yourself to earn my trust, to reestablish your daughter's faith to humanity and finally earn my children's approval. I will not consent to anything less than that. Decide wisely, because once you choose Erebor there is not turning back unless it is in a casket." Thorin's eyes threw daggers at him.

Othin shuddered hard and his eyes flooded with tears. "You will allow me to stay close to her and the children?" He muttered and his face distorted in agony.

"If you double cross my family I will kill you on the spot. Don't doubt that." Thorin's skin crawled and his impressive voice reverberated in the rooms raising the hair on Othin's arms.

Othin collapsed on the floor overcome. "Tha-nk you …"

"Did you make your choice then?" Thorin raised his brow coldly.

Othin clasped his hands in front of his face in silent prayer and touched the floor with his forehead. "I will follow you to Erebor and I will try to do the best I can…."

"You will not try, you shall DO IT!" Thorin thundered.

Othin shook uncontrollably. "I will, I swear to whatever I hold dear now…I will….I don't want to see Lord Durin disappointed in me. I promised him I would stay. I don't want to break another promise, ever again."

"Isn't it too late to care about breaking promises? You should care more about the dissapointment that always clouds the beautiful eyes of your daughter…the ones that look so much like yours." Thorin's voice filled with unbearable bitterness.

Othin sobbed heavily in his palms.

Thorin walked over and grabbed Othin's lapel. He pulled him up and his eyes seared through him. "If you hurt my wife again I show you the epitome of pain."

Othin shook his head. "I don't want to hurt Eilin anymore. I want to try and make up to her for everything…."

Thorin brought his face down to his. "You won't just TRY…you will make it HAPPEN. Do you understand?" He roared.

Othin closed his eyes and nodded fiercely. "Y-es…y-es…. "

Thorin released Othin and turned to Dwalin. "Make sure you shape him up and inform Balin that he is to return to Erebor with us. He will be offered a home and he will be employed in the armory, making the arrows he so much likes. No one is to know his true identity and above all my wife and children…for the time being."

Othin looked up sharply at that.

Thorin gazed at him long and hard. "You have a chance to approach them on a clean slate. You will work hard to earn a few coins, but I will see you use them in order to provide for your daughter and grandchildren…anything even small things. If I see your earned coins going in your pockets only for yourself I will make you swallow them one by one. You have an opportunity to bond with your daughter and grandkids anew without revealing your dishonorable past. Eilin will not accept you appearing out of thin air just like that. If she learns who you are she will break apart. She has been deeply hurt by your rejection and the neglect she went through as a child. If you wish to have an opportunity to bond with her then approach slowly. Get to know her brilliant mind and appreciate and love her gentle soul. Learn from the start the beautiful child you gave birth to and absorb the true value of her exceptional character. Show her that she can trust you and give her the opportunity to see if she enjoys you as a person. Only then you might have the slightest chance to be accepted by her, not before. During this trial period you will be under my scrutiny, but I will not intervene on your interactions with my family unless I judge them dangerous in any manner. Your failure or your success will depend solely on you. Your failures in the past ended up in a catastrophe so I'd suggest you make a solemn effort to succeed this time for the sake of my wife's sanity and my children's emotional well-being. I couldn't give them a grandfather from my side of the family, maybe against all odds you will prove worthy enough to do that small thing for them….even if you failed to give a worthy father to your daughter."

Othin stood up abruptly and rushed over to Thorin. He grasped his hand and kissed it fervently. "Thank you for giving me this opportunity. Mahal shall never forget your compassion."

Thorin pulled his hand away. "What is your inner name?"

Othin didn't hesitate. "Urkar."

Thorin huffed sardonically. "Achiever…that is rather ironic, isn't it?"

Othin averted his eyes.

Thorin sighed. "That is the name you shall be known with from now on, until you prove worthy enough to carry your old name once again and reveal your true identity to your daughter. That moment shall be decided by you, but make sure you choose wisely, because I will be breathing down your neck."

Othin covered his face and wept. "Tha-nk you my L-ord. I shall ne-ver forget your benev-olence.."

"Nor his steel grip around your neck. I'd suggest you don't disappoint him. When he gets mad no one can stop him except from me and Dain. He can take on a Mûmakil without blinking and one thing that can make him go insane is someone hurting his wife and kids." Dwalin teased feeling rather amused and also unexpectedly pleased with the outcome of this explosive encounter.

Thorin gave Dwalin a glance of caution and placed his hand on the handle. He debated for several moments if he wanted to offer any words of support to his father-in-law after the berating he dealt out. He looked at Othin above his shoulder and shuddered at the realization that Eilin's father was only a few years older than him and they fought in the same battles as peers once upon a century. His face set in disapproval, he opened the door and left the rooms carrying with him an air of dismissal.

* * *

 

"What are you doing my Lord Durar?" Eilin called.

"I thought I heard a noise coming from the balcony. Shuffling of some sort." Durar scowled towards the windows.

Eilin took his hand in hers tightly. "Please my Lord, I don't have too much time. My husband has finally woken up from his oblivion and I need to return to his side. What I have to tell you is of the greatest importance."

Durar clasped her hand back and closed his eyes with a sigh of obvious relief. "Oh, thank the great Mahal." He whispered.

"Whatever for?" Eilin frowned.

"I thought you called me here to inform me that the King's health had taken a turn for the worse." Durar closed his eyes.

Eilin's lips toyed with a smile. "Oh dear heaven. I didn't want to scare you this way. No, the King is doing much better. He woke up twice since yesterday. He is feverless and even though he is still weak, he is on the road to a quick recovery."

Durar pressed her hand and took a seat. "Thank you my Lady. These news made my day. I will be sure to inform the Seven. The great Mahal has blessed us all."

Eilin took a seat across from him. "I should have clarified my reasons to call you here so abruptly."

"It would have been preferable your Majesty and I don't mean that as a reproach."

"I know how close your relationship with my husband has gotten the last decade. He sees you as a very near and dear friend. I should have respected the close camaraderie you two share and informed you beforehand that this meeting has nothing to do with my husband…." –At that thought she hesitated and looked at her stippled fingers- "…directly." She added reflectively.

Durar's brows furrowed. "It has to do with the King then indirectly?"

Eilin nodded slowly. "Yes."

Durar straightened his shoulders. "Then tell me your Majesty, what is wrong? Anything that troubles the King I make my business. I am here to assist you and him with my life if necessary."

Eilin felt her heart softening as she witnessed the loyalty of this High Lord to her husband. "I find myself in a difficult position to explain what is going on, as your love for Thorin might clash with the love you have for your family."

Durar's brow clouded. "My wife and my daughter?"

Eilin closed her eyes. "No…I meant more distant relatives."

"Who do you mean?"

Eilin didn't hesitate. "Lady Ith."

"Oh…What happened with Ith?" Durar looked slightly taken aback, but still relatively composed.

It took Eilin several moments of serious contemplation to come to the decision that she had to speak honestly and without any unnecessary diversions. What she wanted to do was risky and it didn't promise the results she wanted, but this man was her best chance to clear up Thorin's name. She inhaled deeply, gazed at him straight in the eyes without any fear and began talking. She was poised and calm as she described everything that had taken place since Ith's arrival and Durar listened unfazed until she revealed Ith's coercion towards the King. That was the moment that Durar's countenance turned several tones darker.

Eilin stared at him. "Her threats about revealing to the Kingdom what has presumably taken place in Thorin's office was instigated by my threat to reveal to you how intimate she was trying to become with my husband."

"An eye for an eye so to say." Durar responded.

Eilin inclined her head. "You can say that. Her despair partly excuses her hasty actions, but as you can understand I cannot allow such a preposterous threat to hover over the head of my husband."

Durar stood up abruptly and began pacing. "How can we know if what my niece says is true?"

"About the King being more forthcoming that appropriate?" Eilin raised her brows.

Durar looked back and nodded. "One cannot but wonder where she got all those ideas. Maybe they are true."

Eilin crossed her hands calmly and stopped her intuitive need to rebuke Durar's assumptions snappishly. "My Lord, you have lived close to the King for ten years. You have seen his valor and his impeccable ethics towards all his people, but above all to his family. You saw how he stood by me against all the High Lords and how he gave up his throne for me. That is not the description of a man who fools around, don't you agree?"

Durar nodded curtly. "Indeed."

"I will never believe that Thorin would ever stoop so low as to risk our love and our family in order to take a lover. This is the same man who lost his first fiancée in a terrible accident and mourned her loss for two centuries before meeting me and committing himself to our family body and soul. Does he seem like a double-dealer to you?"

Durar scratched his beard. "No, of course not."

"He is constantly being pursued by women wherever he sets foot and he always holds character. So much so that in the past he was considered a misogynist. Thorin not only lives by the high morals of our kin, he elevates them to unfathomable heights. What he preaches to his people, he exerts on himself every day. Our King is not an immoral man my Lord. He is the epitome of decency and nobody will convince me that he tried to take in a lover and moreover risk his precious friendship with you over a whim. Our King is a man full of wisdom that rules justly and astutely. He is not a man who is ruled by the passions of the flesh, neither would he ever brainlessly stain his rulership with such filth!" Eilin sounded austere.

Durar turned around. "I agree with everything that you are saying, but why would Ith speak with such ill will of him?"

Eilin stood up and approached him calmly. She touched his hand and smiled. "You are married to a woman, you birthed one and yet it seems you don't know us so well my Lord. Neither does my husband and that is what landed him in this unfortunate position."

"What do you mean?" Durar's brows furrowed.

"I believe that Lady Ith fell for my husband like many other women have in the past and will in the future, until finally our son Durin takes the lead from his father." Eilin smiled.

Durar's face softened with a cautious smile too. "I suppose that could be true. Nobody can deny the King's charm, not even my wife. I can see how Ith might have fallen victim to his allure. Still why would she lie so bluntly?"

"To cover up the fact that she was the one who longed for him from the beginning. The one who tried to become more intimate with him. She tried to twist the story around in order to appear the victim, when she was hunter." Eilin said calmly and led him back to the couch.

"Why would she ever try to do that?" -Durar frowned- "That doesn't sound like my Ith. She is such a quiet girl, minding her own business. After the death of her husband she never cared for any male company. Why would she act so foolishly towards the Royal couple?"

"Because no matter how wise and kind a woman is, when her heart starts beating for a man she can turn to the most foolish creature. I can understand her on that front. I acted as recklessly when I first fell for Thorin. She acted foolishly and she doesn't want you to learn, so she is trying to bend the truth and come out clean." Eilin smiled sweetly needing to lead Durar subtly to do what she wanted him to do, not anger him.

Durar rubbed his forehead. "My wife acted imprudently when she fell for me too I suppose. She did some pretty stupid things to see me and so did I."

"See?" –Eilin pointed at him- "You do understand women better than I thought."

"Well…" -Durar puffed up proudly- "I do have some experience with them, my Lady."

"Should have expected that from a man like you." Eilin looked at him amiably.

Durar blushed and looked away. "But my Ith….still I find so hard to believe that she is lying."

"I see you are very torn, my Lord and my heart aches for you. That is why I wanted you to come here so we could discuss in private, without the presence of my husband neither the influence of your niece." Eilin rejoined.

"What do you want me to do?" He asked emphatically.

"I want you to send her back home my Lord." Eilin's voice came down.

"Because she declares the King tried to become intimate with her? If that has even the remote possibility to be true then sending her away will be unfair. The King will have to apologize to her instead." Durar's face hardened.

Eilin smiled and remained collected because she had been expecting this reaction sooner or later. "Lady Ith was adamant that she was the one who stopped the King's advances both at his office and at the river shore before I appeared. She professed that she was not inclined to allow him to destroy his family so easily. A noble declaration don't you think?"

Durar nodded slowly. "Indeed, she acted honorably."

"If I prove to you that she is still eager and willing to meet secretly with my husband under our very noses, will you believe that she is possibly lying about what happened in his office too? She still longs for him despite declaring that she pushed him away to in order to protect his family. If she says the truth then she will deny any kind of private meeting with the King and she will prove her impeccable ethics to us once and for all. If she attends the meeting then things won't be in her favor anymore. Do you agree?" Eilin raised her brow.

"How can you prove that?" Durar scowled.

"You have to trust me, but you must also be willing to accept the proof that I will present you, even if it taints the immaculate ethics of your niece." Eilin added with composure.

"She said she stopped the King's advances twice?" Durar raised his brow sternly.

"Yes." Eilin nodded.

"Then she would never accept to meet him in private. I agree with that." Durar scowled.

"I know." She inclined her head elegantly.

"You seem so calm about all this." Durar's lips pursed.

"I trust my husband." Eilin raised her brow.

Durar exhaled roughly and looked towards the window. "You think she used that coercion in order to frighten you?"

"In order to keep me quiet. She didn't want me to reveal to you what she has been doing. You are her only relative and she thinks highly of you. She doesn't want your contempt because she allowed her heart to fall for the wrong man. I can understand how desperate she must be. You are her only support." Eilin said quietly.

"Indeed I am….what did that brainless child do for Mahal's sake? She's going to get us in a lot of trouble if she goes through with her threats. Truth or not this must be stopped." Durar scratched his bald patch and started pacing in front of the fireplace.

"What she said about the King is not true my Lord and I will provide you with the proof soon." Eilin came over and touched his shoulder.

"She doesn't know I am here?" Durar turned and looked at her.

"No. I am sorry for causing so much grief to you, but I had to reveal the truth. Your niece played a rather dangerous game and entered very deep and uncharted waters that she is not well equipped to sail, don't you agree?"

Durar nodded quickly. "Not equipped at all."

"If I prove to you her willingness to throw her precious principles out the window just for a secret meeting with the King will you take over for us?" Eilin pressed his shoulder.

"Send her away you mean?" Durar's eyes glared angrily.

Eilin tilted her head. "Yes."

"Of course I will. I am a man of honor and the last thing I want is to see the King violated by one of my family members." Durar thundered.

"When the time comes you shall do so quietly. Lady Ith shall not learn that I spoke to you, neither that I set up the trap for her. Yu will find a way to send her back home safely and explain to her that her silence is in the benefit of all parties." Eilin continued with the same unwavering control that she had through the entire meeting.

Durar bowed courteously. "I will, my Lady. I promise. Now can I see the King please?"

Eilin pressed his hand and gave him a generous smile. "Not until we clear up this mess with Lady Ith. The King is unaware of this conversation between us or the coercion that hangs above his head at the moment. I trust in your taciturnity until we have some valid answers to all our questions."

Durar nodded solemnly. "Very well, my Lady."

"King Thranduil will be your most gracious host until I call for you. It will not take long my Lord." Eilin inclined her head cordially.

"I will be waiting for news with bated breath." -Durar pressed his fist on his chest- "Until then I continue to pray for Thorin's health to keep improving."

Eilin smiled gracefully. "I thank you for the bottom of my heart."

He kept his head bowed and his fist on his heart until she opened the door. "Good evening your Majesty."

"Good evening, rest well and enjoy the food. It is delicious." Eilin threw carelessly above her shoulder and closed the door behind her.

That is when she met Balin's austere eyes. "Everything okay?" He asked.

She closed her eyes and leaned against the wall. "I really hope so my Lord…I really hope so…" She muttered and got ready to leave when another door opened up close by and she came face to face ….

…with her husband.

Thorin stopped and looked at her lost for several moments.

"Huh?" Her lips parted and her eyes became a mixture of dread and confusion. She looked back at Durar's door quickly.

Thorin looked back at Othin's door.

"What are you doing here honey?" She murmured bewildered.

"Couldn't sleep. Was looking for you." Thorin said quickly and made sure Othin's door wouldn't budge.

"Oh…" Eilin tucked a long wavy lock behind her ear and looked at Balin who flicked his shoulders dazed.

"What are you doing here?" Thorin asked and looked at the door behind her.

She checked to see it was closed properly. "Uhm…I saw you were not in bed and I was searching for you."

"Behind that door?" Thorin pointed at it.

"Yeah well….I asked around and the Elven guards told me they saw you in this corridor. I was knocking around just to check you were not in any rooms. So were you searching for me behind that door?" She raised her brows and pointed behind him.

Thorin cleared his throat. "Yes, I was apparently doing the same thing as you."

She laughed nervously. "Well, isn't that what couples who love each other dearly always do? They synchronize, don't they Lord Balin?"

Balin smiled tensely. "I think so, right Dwalin?"

Dwalin crossed his arms. "I wouldn't know."

She stippled her fingers anxiously and gave Thorin a sheepish look. "So now that you found me what do you want us to do?"

Thorin leaned against the wall and grabbed his shoulders protectively. "Ask you to escort me back to my rooms, because this small excursion has exhausted me." He was apparently the first one to get composed quicker from the two.

"Yeah, he can barely stand." Dwalin said with pursed lips.

Eilin turned to Balin and leaned close to his ear. "Move Lord Durar from that room and keep your mouth shut to the King."

Thorin pulled Dwalin in quickly before she came over. "Move Othin to another room and keep your mouth shut about this meeting to Eilin!"

Dwalin nodded and raised his brow at his brother who reciprocated.

Eilin clasped Thorin's hands and felt how cold they were. "You are freezing." She looked up concerned.

He pulled her in and leaned his cheek on the top of her head. When he felt her arms wrapping under his armpits and clutching his shoulder-blades every single tension in his body evaporated. "Can we just go?" He whispered.

She kissed his exposed chest. "Sure my love, come on."

He allowed her small frame to take part of his weight and drew her head on his shoulder as she helped him gently towards their rooms.

Dwalin stood next to his brother and observed the Royal couple for several silent moments.

"Whom did she talk to?" Dwalin asked.

"Durar. Him?" Balin retorted.

"Othin."

Balin raised his brow. "How did that go?"

"Othin got away within an inch of his life." Dwalin yawned bored.

Balin nodded. "I was expecting that from Thorin. You did well to go with him. Eilin's father was lucky."

"What did she say to Durar?" Dwalin asked.

"Unfortunately I was excluded from that meeting." Balin scratched his ear.

"Those two are unbearable." Dwalin raised his brow towards the fading shadows of the Royal couple.

"They are so much alike it is uncanny." Balin pursed his lips.

"How about a drink?" Dwalin said.

"I sure need one…." Balin rejoined and they quietly moved towards the opposite direction.

 


	26. The story of another man

 

Thorin emptied himself on the bed and stared at the open window wordlessly. Eilin watched at him above her shoulder and her countenance filled with sadness. She closed the door quietly and walked over to him. She sat down carefully and her stomach twisted nervously. The tension which was surrounding the silence that was oozing out of him was barely winning over the awkwardness of what happened before at the corridor between them. She reached out and clasped his hand that was resting on his thigh. She licked her bottom lip and smiled towards the floor reflectively. "Hi handsome."

His hand flipped over and his fingers stippled with hers. "Hi beautiful."

"You want to lay down and get some more sleep?"

His other hand came to hold hers securely. "I don't want to sleep anymore Eilin. I told you so this morning. All I wanted to do from the moment I woke up was talk with you."

She nodded and felt her stomach cramping. "I know."

"And all you seem to want is to avoid it." His regard was grave.

She pressed her lips quietly.

"Are you trying to avoid the talk?" He exhaled and his brows flicked inquisitively.

She swallowed heavily and pressed his hand. "I don't know…"

"I think you do. Why?" His stare seemed calm.

She took a long pause, which betrayed the uncertainty she felt inside. "Because I am afraid we might make things worse."

"So shall we pretend that nothing happened? Will that make everything fine perchance?" He spoke softly.

She opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came out.

"I tried to do that for many years. It doesn't work." He looked at his lap defeated.

She felt her heart yanking her hard. "You are right. We cannot hope to make everything right by pretending."

"Isn't it a pity?" He asked quietly.

She looked up at him and her eyes were already edging with tears. "A pity?"

"That even though we have each other, we end up feeling so lonely just because we are afraid to communicate about what is most important." His gorgeous eyes captured hers and stole her breath.

She nodded so gently he almost missed it. "I don't want to feel lonely or afraid anymore Thorin."

"Me neither." He pressed her hand and gazed into her eyes confidently.

"I don't want to hurt you anymore…." She continued.

"Me neither." He shook his head slowly.

It took her several moments of edgy stillness in order to speak. "Did I make you feel lonely?"

His brows creased and his countenance filled with hesitation.

She cupped their joined hands and her eyes held an intensity he couldn’t overlook. "Did I neglect you? Did my obsession with my father and my anger towards all those contenders make you feel unloved?"

He averted his eyes. "Those times were not good for either of us. I tried to understand the pain that you are going through, but I am unable to relate no matter how much I love you. Maybe that is what made both of us feel a little lonely."

She pressed her lips with a deeply thoughtful frown. "I did make you feel isolated then…"

"Not on purpose, Eilin. I understand you couldn't do anything else. You were always on edge and I was not enough to soothe your pain. I think I felt mostly frustrated with my inability to assist you, than lonely." He tried to find her eyes.

"Did the loneliness you felt make you seek the company of others…?" It took a long quiet pause to be able to utter those words and her heart palpitated as she waited for his answer with bated breath.

"Unfortunately our children or my comrades cannot fill the void of your absence. Only you can." Thorin smiled pensively towards their joined hands.

She closed her eyes and felt her stomach dropping. "When I meant others…I meant another woman."

The silence from him was so loud it made her breath catch. She kept her eyes on their hands counting inwards for some form of an answer.

"Are you asking me if I became intimate with another woman?" He whispered.

She nodded and felt tears edging her eyes.

"Another woman or Ith?" He continued with the same quiet tone. His hand clutched hers tightly.

She reciprocated. "Ith."

"Look at me." He frowned.

She swallowed heavily and raised her head fearing the worst, but was met by a striking clarity in his stunning eyes. "Did I force you into Ith's arms?" She whispered nervously. She couldn't even say those words without feeling her heart screaming in pain.

"Eilin I didn't kiss her. When you found us that night I was so ill I could barely stand even though I was unwilling to admit my feebleness to anyone. No matter how embarrassed I am to admit it I collapsed in front of her and she was trying to help me when you came along and found us in that compromising position. Tell me what you want me to do to prove that nothing happened between us and I shall. Ith never came between us, I swear to you in my life." The honesty that echoed in his voice made Eilin far more emotional than she had bargained.

"I think she has come between us." She frowned.

"How?" He retorted.

She looked up at him wordlessly.

"How did Ith come between us? I told you that nothing happened. I felt nothing more for her than a mild interest towards the mother of a child that was Thrárin’s friend and at her being Durar's niece."

"But did she feel the same for you?" Eilin looked at him steadily.

His lips parted, but he remained silent.

"You declare that nothing inappropriate took place between you, still I haven't been present in all your meetings. I have to take your word for it." Eilin continued.

"Isn't my word enough for you?" Thorin raised his brow and her heart skirted at the agony in his eyes.

"Look me in the eyes and tell me that you didn't have any other meetings with Ith that I don't know off and that you have told me the whole truth and nothing but the truth. If you do that, I shall believe you…" She pressed his hand and licked her bottom lip, begging him silently not to lie to her now.

He pressed his lips and his eyes seared in hers for several tense moments. Then he looked away seemingly embarrassed and she saw his Adam’s apple dip nervously.

"Thorin?" She frowned.

He shook his head.

"I deserve the truth…" She reproached mildly.

He nodded. "I know."

"Then please say it to me." Her fingers stippled securely around his, wanting to ground him there with her.

He looked at their hands and released a deep sigh of regret. "I haven't told you the whole truth no."

She closed her eyes and felt her heart plummeting. "Why?" She whispered.

"Because I didn't want you to feel insecure." He added inaudibly.

"Was there a reason for me to feel insecure?" She felt her throat dry and her stomach on the brink of nausea.

"Not on my part….believe me…never on my part. I didn't speak of this because I didn't want you to have more unnecessary worries on your mind about something that was totally unimportant to me." His tone gained a strictness that made her heart miss a beat.

"Can I learn what you are talking about and judge for myself if it was important or not?" She forced herself to look at his face.

His once clear brow was full of lines of remorse. He remained silent for several edgy moments were Eilin was counting his breaths. "I had a private meeting in my office with Ith one day and I never told you about it."

She braced herself. "What happened in that meeting Thorin?"

There was no hesitation. "She admitted in not so many words that she was attracted to me." He said with a simplicity that Eilin didn't expect.

"And what did you do?" She gritted her teeth.

He looked down at her with a deep scowl. "What do you mean what did I do? What did you expect me to do?"

She shrugged and tried to force back the tears that were edging her eyes. "I don't know."

His free hand reached out and cupped her cheek. He drew her face to him. "Are you honestly asking me if I reciprocated her attentions Eilin? Is this what we are talking about here?"

She gazed at him steadily. "I want the truth, no matter how painful."

"The truth…" -He stammered- "Of course the truth…always the truth with you Eilin."

"Always?" She muttered.

"Yes." He nodded, but felt his back curling inwards when another thought came to his mind.

_The truth about everything except from the past old boy, right?_

"Then tell me exactly what happened! Everything!" She pressed his hand tightly.

He thumb stroke her jawline tenderly as he spoke next. "She tried to find ways to pacify my frustrations that day which were many. Our arguments, my illness that was galloping like a wild horse through my mind trampling everything under its hooves, the fear for Durin, the need to keep everything under control while control was spinning fast out of my grip. I was not myself and she noticed. She found the opportunity to solace me and more or less revealed that she longed for more. I denied, she left and that was about it until you found us again at the river. Ironically just before you found us, she was asking my forgiveness for her imprudence and an opportunity to ask an audience in order to plead her case with you. She seemed embarrassed beyond words and ready to make up with both you and me."

Eilin closed her eyes and felt two tears rolling down her cheeks. "That was all? No kissing, no laying her head on your knees, nor you stroking her hair? No telling her that you felt so lonely you yearned for her touch? Not her refusing your kiss? Not you declaring that if you hadn’t been the King you would have eagerly taken her in as a lover?"

His face was a twisted mask of confusion and disbelief. "What in the name of hell Eilin?!"

She opened her eyes and looked at his eyes fearlessly. There wasn't a single drop of dishonesty in them and her heart skipped a beat. "Just thoughts that my mind keeps creating."

"Stupid thoughts! Erase them for Mahal's sake before they undo us. Nothing of the sort happened with this woman in my office. She tried to comfort me and exposed her need to become intimate with me, which bounced against me and fell flat on the floor. She left quite dejected if I remember correctly, which I disliked but I didn't want to allow her any misgivings for my rejection. I did the same at the river shore the night you found us. I told her that I belong to you and that nothing would ever change that." He kissed her forehead firmly.

Her heart melted in a warm pool of relief and her hand circled around his muscular forearm. "You belong to me?"

"My soul, my heart, my mind, my body, my life belongs to you….and nothing will ever change that. Don't ever doubt me Eilin….ever." He murmured hotly on her forehead.

Her arm came under his armpit and clutched his shoulder-blade. So Ith lied in order to force her to keep silent to Lord Durar. The anger she felt rising in her clashed with the consolation she felt from Thorin's sincere declaration of innocence. She could have continued down the path of doubt and mistrust, but the truth was that her heart yearned to believe him. Maybe it was a foolish heart, as Rhiannon would have said, and she should have tested him more. Maybe she should have taken him through the fires of Mount Doom in order to make sure his answers were honest, but what would the point in that be? She would be trapped in an endless circle of distrust and suspicion which would make both him and her suffer endlessly and pointlessly. She required once more to trust in his words. To trust in him not Ith and she longed to do that for the sake of their love.

"I find myself embarrassed to admit that you had been right all along though, my treasure…" Thorin's voice had a playful tone that made her frown.

Her nails clutched his tunic and she pressed her nose on his chest inhaling his scent deeply. "Right about what?"

"She wanted more. That hug at the river-shore was not by chance, neither was the way she touched my face when you found us. Indeed she wished for more, but I didn't." He murmured close to her temple.

She closed her eyes as his warm breath caressed the top of her ear. "Thank you for understanding why I am so upset about all this."

"You were right and I was wrong. I tried to downplay the whole deal in order to keep you from needlessly worrying about a matter that I was going to take care of one way or the other." He continued with the same soft tone that turned her knees to mush.

"Why do the words one way or the other bother me? What was the one way of dealing with Ith and what was the other?" Eilin nibbled her bottom lip, but her mouth was already forming a smile. She yearned to feel solaced by his words…by his attempt to quieten her worries.

"Well one way was to tell her to bugger off and the other was to tell Durar to send her away if she insisted with her stupid efforts to get into my pants." He said flatly.

Her breath hitched and she snorted. "You didn't just say that."

"Well that's the blunt gist of it, isn't it?" He shrugged.

"Are you trying to make me smile?" She grinned from his chest.

"Yes, am I doing well?" He tried to look at her.

She hid her face on his tunic and snorted again. "Keep trying…" She commanded.

"Okay. So apparently that damned night we lost Durin, you caught us right at the point when I was very politely telling her to piss off. What were you thinking I wonder? That you caught us before or after I hammered her brains out behind that tree?" He pressed his arms around her and planted a strong kiss on the top of her head delighting at the flowery scent of her curls.

She giggled. "Before. You were both still dressed."

"Forget it. I am not about to get myself into more trouble than I already am in, young lady. That's it." He said solemnly throwing her off her tracks for a moment.

"What do you mean?" She pulled back and looked at his fine face.

"I already have one crazy woman busting my balls constantly and I pledged myself to her for life, so she has plenty of centuries available to continue her torment. I don't need another one, thank you very much." He smiled arrogantly.

She pinched his side. "You came very close to getting yourself in a lot of trouble."

"With that hussy?" His brow arched.

Eilin nodded and kissed his chin. "Yeah."

"What can she possibly do that is worse from planting seeds of doubt between you and me?" He scowled.

"You don't know how vengeful a desperate woman can become." Eilin caressed his cheek softly.

"I haven't forgotten Karrunn yet." Thorin rejoined flatly.

"She was not desperate. She was evil reincarnate." Eilin shuddered.

He held her close and kissed her curls again. "So do you believe me about Ith?"

She nodded and her fingers gripped his back firmly. "I do my love."

He closed his eyes and leaned his cheek on her head. A sigh of relief escaped his chest. "Thank you my treasure. Now before we lay this woman's name to rest..." -Eilin chuckled. He stroked her hair gently- "Can you answer me one thing please?"

She nodded. "Sure."

"How did you know about our meeting in my office?" The question came unexpectedly.

"I just suspected there was more you weren't telling me. I know you too well." She said quietly.

"I could have destroyed everything by lying, right?" He murmured.

"Thorin you should have talked to me. I wasn't going to judge you. All I wanted to do was listen patiently what happened from your lips." She fondled his bearded jawline softly and looked at his parted lips.

"What if I lied? What then?"

"I would have asked you if you love me and if you wish to keep trying to make our marriage work." Eilin's eyes held all the devotion he recognized from the old days and his heart vibrated in her tune.

His lips trembled. "I told her that I love you. My words were clear and they will be equally clear to whoever approaches again. Never doubt that my heart."

Eilin clasped his forearm. "So will I, for my loyalty and love lays with you till death."

"Thank you for not giving me anymore doubts, suspicions, anger and blame." His eyes teared up.

Eilin looked at him and lifted her hand to clear up some silver tendrils away from his eyes. "I knew Ith longed for you and that is where my anger stemmed from. What I didn't know was how to trust you, but everything that happened to us the last few months made me grow a little bit. They made me realize that sometimes I have to let go and trust you not to hurt me. Even though you were heavily tempted, you proved your loyalty to me. I am so grateful of being your wife..."

Thorin's eyes burned. "Forgive me for not understanding your insecurity. I should have done better by you. I should have settled all your fears much sooner."

She shook her head. "I was too immature to process what was happening. I acted like a jealous dwarfling, but maybe my age can excuse that? I am still so young in comparison to you."

He humphed remembering Eilin's father with a failing heart. "Don't rub that one in."

She gripped his forearm. "Don't jest. I am still immature and sometimes I feel so unfit to be a Queen, but I am doing the best I can." She frowned.

He smiled sweetly. "Immature to be a Queen? You recalled the attack to Dol Guldur and secured our allegiance to the Elves. What are you talking about?"

She cupped his cheeks and a flare of dread toyed in her eyes. "Are you mad about that?"

He shook his head and leaned down to stroke her lips with his. "No, I am very proud to be your husband."

The smile that formed in her heart from those words was much larger than the smile that curled up the hairpin of her mouth and her eyes lit up. "You don't know how relieved I am to hear that."

"You thought I'd scold you?" He smirked and pinched her cheek.

"More or less." -She cringed- "That’s the first time I got directly involved with your rulership."

"You did it for a good cause and I indeed my ego got a serious blow so I might…think of a more gentle way to reprimand you, who knows..." He let the thought linger.

She smiled at him lovingly and her hand reached up to stroke the scar on his forehead. "Can you tell me what got hold of you with Dol Guldur? You are such a wise monarch and so astute in all your decisions that concern the Kingdom. You are always three steps ahead of everyone else all the time. What you did was so unlike you."

He pressed his lips and looked at his lap. "I was afraid of the whispers that Durin was hearing. The ones I was hearing. It was as if those accursed ruins were hunting our son. I would have never left such a provocation unanswered. I didn't want to let this threat hang over Durin's head. I still want to end it once and for all."

She nodded and squeezed his hand. "That place has been haunting you since before I ever knew you."

His head bobbed heavily. "It claimed my father and I never managed to find his remains. A torn piece of his clothing is the only thing I have left from him, which I found amidst that ruble ten years ago. I want to destroy that place Eilin. Thank you for recalling my orders and fortifying our affiliation with the Elves, but don't fool yourself. I still want to demolish it."

"Will you do so? Will you command an attack again?" She looked at him searchingly.

He pursed his lips. "Not now, no. I need to talk with Thranduil and the white council."

"Be honest with them. Reveal how much this place is affecting you whenever you go near it." She rejoined.

"I saw nightmares of my father trapped in its dungeons Eilin." He said unwilling to admit that he also saw her and Durin dead in there too.

She closed her eyes and nodded. "You woke up crying last night. You were sobbing like a dwarfling and I couldn't stop you. You woke up to such nightmares, didn't you?"

"More or less…." He murmured.

"I am so sorry my love." Her eyes welled.

"I suppose we are both affected in parallel ways concerning our fathers." He looked at her fleetingly.

She stared at him fixedly. "What do you mean?"

"You always saw dreams of the house of your parents, yearning to get a glimpse of a father you never had the chance to know. I see nightmares of how my father perished. You never knew your father and mine was taken from me violently."

Two tears cascaded down her rosy cheeks. "I don't know which is worse…" She muttered.

"Both…" He swallowed heavily and kissed the back of her hand delicately.

"I don't want you going to Dol Guldur again. Promise that you will keep away from those ruins Thorin. They tried to claim your life more than once." She sounded honestly frightened.

He wrapped his arm round her shoulder and drew her in. He placed a soft kiss on her forehead and caressed her cheek.

"You will never find your father's remains in there. You will only end up getting killed and you cannot afford to do that now just in order to chase ghosts. Your children need you…I need you." Her voice was austere.

He exhaled upon her head and closed his eyes. "Worry less and trust me more."

She gritted her teeth. "Trust you more…I almost lost you this time."

He shook his head. "Not even close my Eilin….not even close." He muttered.

"Don't be so headstrong…promise that you will stay away." She pulled back and looked at straight in the eyes.

His lips curled down and his thumb smoothed over her jawline. "We shall see."

She humphed annoyed and leaned her head on his shoulder. "You are pissing me off. Your stubbornness will be your undoing eventually. Either that or your unusual readiness to believe some people willingly. People who are not worth your trust. Honestly Thorin for all your sharp perception and astuteness, sometimes you seem way too gullible. Especially when it concerns beautiful women." -Her scold was gentle enough to form a smile in his mouth. Slowly a shadow tainted her pretty eyes- "Promise that next time you will be more careful of how much leeway you are going to give a stranger, please. It matters not if this woman is the niece of one of your best friends. You hardly know her."

"Are we getting back to that hussy?" He sounded reproachful.

"You have no idea what people are capable of doing in order to get themselves out of trouble. I am trying to protect you." She said very seriously.

"I feel honored to be protected by you my petal." He kiss her cheek delicately.

"I am serious Thorin. I know you mean well and you probably tried to act gallantly and not be discourteous in your dealings with Ith, but that could have landed you into a whole lot of trouble." She clutched his beard braid and gave it a gentle tag.

He frowned slightly. "Is there something here I am missing?"

A serious smile formed on her lips. "I am just warning you to be more vigilant."

"Alright. I am going to pretend like I believe you." He arched his brow.

She nodded. "Promise to be more careful in any such future dealings. Okay?"

He smirked. "I promise."

She closed her eyes and exhaled hard. "Thank you for telling me the truth."

"I will always tell you the truth …" He murmured and a deep scowl of disapproval appeared on his clear brow and he averted his eyes upon those words.

She felt his hesitation and pulled his hand on her lap. She enclosed it between hers and her fingers stroked the scar tissue that was spread in his palm. His free arm came behind her back and drew her in until he had her secure close to his heart. Then he kissed her temple and leaned his cheek on the top of her head. They both remained quiet looking outside the windows at the majestic Elven realm expanding below their balcony. Eilin closed her eyes and listened to the steady beating of his heart for a long time without wishing either to break the silence or pull away from him. His loving words about their relationship and the honest way he rebuked every one of Ith's avowals had softened her heart and settled her mind. The nausea she had been feeling up till then in her stomach withdrew. The coldness in her hands and feet was replaced by the warmth that his body was emanating as it was surrounding hers. The tightness on her throat loosened up and the difficulty she had breathing before she attempted to face him about that woman was now gone. She felt once more at peace with herself and with the world, that is how much her husband was affecting her well-being and she didn't care admitting her weakness in front of him. Didn't everybody felt weak towards the person they loved? Their spouse, their children, their parents?

A shudder of dismissal touched her spine upon that thought and she shook her head. Not everybody apparently, since some never knew their parents.

Thorin felt that and hugged her closer still. Then another kiss from his warm lips gifted her forehead. "We just spoke about the story of a man who acted honorably and kept a strumpet out of his pants….rather successfully to the glee of his beautiful wife."

She huffed and snuggled close to him. "Yes."

"How about we talk about another kind of story. The story of another man who was not as honorable. Are you in the mood?" He continued with a soothing tone that didn't allow Eilin to feel any kind of tension.

"Sure my love. I am ready to listen to anything you tell me right now. I am in the mood to hear even about the atrocious deeds you have performed in order to be named one of the butchers of Azanulbizar. Heads rolling off shoulders, torsos being slashed in two, black blood drenching your handsome face….I am in for the challenge. Hit me with it." She teased.

"Believe me the story I am about to tell speaks of far worse deeds than anything I have ever tried in battle." His voice dropped low.

Eilin's brow wrinkled, but she didn't want to ruin the comfort she felt in his arms. "I am listening my love." She murmured.

Another even longer pause before his voice returned full of bitterness. "There is a grave in Erebor's burial grounds that holds locked behind its rough stones my most shameful secret and it needs to finally be opened."

Eilin felt her stomach clenching and she looked up. "Thorin no, you don't have to do this…"

"I've kept the story of a dishonorable man hidden from you for too long."

"The man I know off is the epitome of honor." Eilin rebuked steadily.

"The man of whom I will speak is not. Listen and judge him in the end." He swallowed nervously, but didn't avert his eyes from hers.

Her jawline flexed and her lips parted. "If that is what you wish, then I am listening."

He tried to calm down the rapid beating of his heart, but it was to no avail. "The man of whom I wish to speak wasn't disgraceful from the start. He was just a little more than a dwarfling when he fell in love with the most beautiful girl in Erebor and he was one of many who fell victims of her charms. Actually he never thought this girl would noticed him, much less that she'd want to be his friend….or his future lover."

Eilin gritted her teeth, fortified her heart and pressed his hand.

"He didn't know that love existed, never mind what it felt like. He was not aware that it could appear out of nowhere and take such a strong hold of one's will. A single glance was all it took for him to fall in love with this girl and endless years to wait for her to grow up so he could claim her. He felt bound to her presence and he was willing to go to any ends in order to win her attentions from all those contenders who were after her. On hindsight he was rather stupid, wasn't he?" He smiled sadly.

"Why?" Eilin's eyes were burning.

"He would have saved himself a lot of heartache and centuries of shameful suffering had he allowed someone else to claim this girl." His brow clouded.

She clutched his hand wordlessly, trying to support him through this confession with her presence if not with her words that were simply not enough to light up his darkest hour.

"So this young man waited patiently for years, trying to become her friend. Yet there was a fire burning inside him that was able to consume his every thought with a secret yearning. As they grew older and their friendship became even more intimate, this boy finally took up courage to reveal to her his innermost desires. Surprisingly the girl responded to him with equal fervor. After that night they became one and remained a loving couple for the next two years." He continued quietly.

"You couldn't keep your hands off of her either, could you? Impatience runs in your fiery blood. You did the same with me." Eilin tried to alleviate the sadness that had overtaken his countenance.

A faded smile formed on his lips. "I wish I had kept my hands to myself with her Eilin. You don't know how much…."

She bit her lower lip and nodded. "I am sorry."

He shook his head and closed his eyes. "We kept our love affair a secret from our families. I was afraid Thrain wasn't going to accept her low status and she feared her brothers would demand for us to make our relationship official."

"Your father disapproved of Siv?" Eilin frowned.

"My father disapproved all women. According to him no woman was gifted enough to become my wife, but there were much more ominous reasons for his denial. Allow me to explain." He gave her a shameful gaze that didn't linger.

She squeezed his wrist. "Of course. Forgive me."

He swallowed nervously and rested his eyes out of the window, allowing his mind to travel back to those days of old. "We exchanged beads and flower crowns and engaged secretly with no witnesses present, but our devotion to each other held strong….or so I thought because apparently I didn't know what devotion truly meant until I met you."

She looked up sharply at that.

He pressed her hand and his lips turned down. "I did everything for her, apart from talking to my father. I thought he was going to deny because he wanted to find me a suitable bride as I was the heir to the throne of Durin….but no…that would have been too easy." –His smile was vicious- "So while she was floating in heaven waiting for me to deliver my promises and speak to my father for us, I was bidding time…spinelessly hiding behind the façade of being busy as I was the commander of such a big army and Thror's right hand in everything."

Eilin looked away feeling her stomach dropping.

"So I delayed the inevitable as much as I could by giving her fake promises. Finally after two years the day came were I gathered enough courage to stand up to my father about her. I marched at the throne room and told him that I was willing to give up my rights of the throne of Erebor because I intended to marry the woman I loved. After that, Thrain decided to bring my world into ruins." His voice broke.

Eilin enclosed his hand between hers tenderly. "It's okay, I am here." She reassured him.

His eyes burned and his chest welled so suddenly that he felt like suffocating. "You thought I gave Siv up for another woman. I wish it had been that easy Eilin. I gave her up …for my family." He said flatly.

Eilin wouldn't have spoken even if she had wanted to.

"My grandfather's sanity was fraying at the edges at the time. His rule was not as steady as history books have depicted it. It was actually the strong hand of my father and my assistance that managed to bring balance to Erebor as Thror was spinning more and more out of control. Back then I didn't know any better. My father had persuaded me that our family suffered from the gold sickness. That he was predisposed to have it, so were my siblings and me. He revealed my grandfather had already fallen for it and that was why he was slowly losing his mind. Yet now I know better. It was the ring of power that drove him mad, not the gold sickness. The one he passed down to my father and drove him away from the Blue Mountains in search of Erebor's gold. The one that never reached me as it got lost in Dol Guldur along with my father's remains."

Eilin reinforced her hold on his hand.

He reciprocated as he continued with an empty stare and a voice void of emotion. "When I revealed my relationship, Thrain placed in front of me a torturous dilemma. If I chose to marry and abandon the throne, I would also desert my ill grandfather to the clutches of the gold sickness and that would destroy him and our legacy completely. My father said that I was the only one able to stay Thror's hand and also the only one able to keep Erebor together when my grandfather would finally perish. He placed on my shoulders all the weight of our lineage and asked me to carry it for all of them without caring what my heart wanted. He made me feel guilty for abandoning my family at such a weak moment and told me that if I left, Erebor would fall apart and the Longbeard rule of the Lonely Mountain would diminish until our line was completely extinguished. He demanded that I should let the breading to my siblings and take the reins of the Kingdom in my grandfather's stead. He allowed me to keep Siv as my lover, but he demanded that she never became my wife. The guilt he bestowed upon my shoulders, crushed my soul that day."

Eilin closed her eyes. "Oh, my poor heart…" She murmured.

"He never ordered me to denounce Siv…the final choice was mine and that is where the dishonorable man made his appearance Eilin. That is where I failed my heart, my ethics and my very soul. At a moment of weakness I witnessed my grandfather falling deep into madness and suddenly the whole Mountain landed on my shoulders and buried me under it. The next day when I announced to Siv that I couldn't marry her I was already dead inside. I was looking in her eyes when I realized that my devotion to her had never been as deep as my devotion to my family. That is when I suddenly grasped that my love for her had never been strong enough to help me break the chains that bound me to the throne of Erebor and that hurt me deeper than I have ever admitted to anyone. When I saw her leaving me that day, I knew I'd never allow myself to love again, because Erebor's throne would always win over any other love in my life. I didn't want to put anyone else through a similar torment especially since I knew that I had to devote myself to my lineage for all eternity. Nobody deserved to be treated like I treated her." His voice was hushed.

She lifted up his hand and kissed it. "My heart…" She whispered.

He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth trying to silence the tears. "When she left me that day my heart locked up" –He pressed her hand- "The next day I found her dead on that mountainous slope. The wheel from her carriage broke and send her and her father to their deaths. A huge part of me remained on that slippery slope for centuries overlooking the place she perished."

Eilin wiped away a stray tear that cascaded down her cheek.

He looked at her dejected. "I never gave up Siv for another woman. I gave her up to upkeep the legacy of my family and to uphold Erebor's rule, something that pursued me for centuries. It was what made my need to regain the Mountain so consuming, after my father went missing. I ended up killing Siv to fulfil the dreams of my father and those dreams almost ended up killing me too."

She nodded and wiped more stray tears.

He jerked her hand. "I am not the honorable man you think, Eilin. I betrayed a woman's love for egotistical reasons and I ended up killing her in the process. I had to endure the guilt of her death for centuries and I had to deal with how cowardly I acted with my father back then. I didn't have enough backbone to rebuke him and demand to live my life like my sister did several years later. I bowed my head and did his bidding and by doing so I killed a woman I loved. I was never able to shake that shame off of me no matter how many times I acted courageously to the benefit of my people later on. I never wanted to reveal how weak I truly was back then and how gutless. You always speak of my bravery, of my courage, of my loyalty and devotion….you are wrong don't you see? I am not the man you think I am…." His voice was diminished and his eyes full of tears.

"But aren't you indeed?" She frowned.

"Did you hear a word I said? I betrayed the woman I loved for the sake of my grandfather! I didn't love her enough to sacrifice my family's needs for her! I was not devoted enough to her!" -He yelled and released her hand. He stood up and grabbed his temples- "I was not man enough to stand up against the whole world for her….I failed her…"

Eilin's nose flared and her veins filled with adrenaline. "You were man enough to stand up against the whole world for me!" She snapped.

He turned around and looked at her with a pale face, taken aback by the ardor in her voice.

"You loved me enough to sacrifice all your needs for me! You abdicated the throne for our love. You were devoted to me to the last drop of your blood!" She thundered.

He took a step back and blinked lost.

She came up to him and grabbed him by the lapels. "I don't know of whom you spoke of before, but he is not the same man who stands in front of me now. That man is not my husband!" She grumbled.

"Eilin…" He tried weakly.

She jerked him and brought his face down to hers. "How can you judge your younger self so harshly? You are mean towards someone who was unversed in the labors of love…you are so devoid of any sympathy towards yourself." Her tone mellowed slightly and she stared at his lips.

"My love for Siv never came close to how much I love you. Maybe that is why it was easier for me to fail and betray her whilst I would have rather died than do the same to you. That is the reason I am tormented by guilt and shame…" he attempted.

"This is what you were afraid to reveal to me?" A soft smile appeared on her lips.

He nodded confused. "You think what I've told you is not despicable enough?"

"You wished to conceal from me a scared young prince who was trying to understand what love truly was, while the whole weight of Durin’s lineage was burdening his shoulders? You thought I was going to hate that young unfledged version of you? You were placed in the middle of a situation that even an experienced man would find hard to solve. You think your father would have made better choices in your stead?" Eilin's voice was coarse.

"I don't know." He admitted with a quiet voice that reminded her of the young Thorin he had just described.

"You think that breaking up with Siv is what caused her to die?" Eilin pressed on, not wanting to lose him in a frothing sea of guilt once again.

"Didn't it?" He frowned.

"No!" –She pulled his lapels and several silver locks covered his brow and her heart melted and his unhinged countenance- "You may have been responsible for breaking her heart, but not for her death you fool. Blame yourself for what you have done, not for everything bad that happened afterwards. Was it your choice to send her away that day?"

"No." He shook his head and his hair covered his wild tear stained eyes.

"She could have stayed, right? She could have remained in Erebor. She could have left two days later, she could have avoided her death. The decision to leave was hers, correct?"

He hesitated. "My words send her away…."

"Did you put her on the carriage?" She grumbled and her hot breath caressed his face.

"No heaven's no…" He muttered and two tears cascaded down his nose.

She released one lapel and reached up to wipe the tears tenderly. "Did you tell her to take that particular carriage? Did you even know it had a faulty wheel?"

"No…" His frown was so innocent that she wanted to kiss it away.

She cupped his cheeks and pulled his forehead down to hers. "Thorin you didn't kill that girl. You broke up with her. For stupid reasons that is true but you were young, untrained, innocent and over your head with responsibilities that should have never been placed upon you in the first place. All you wanted was to love a woman and you ended up holding the fate of your kin in the palm of your hand. Who wouldn't have felt overwhelmed beyond reason? Who would have managed to make all the right choices during such turbulent times?"

"A wiser man…a more honorable man?" He frowned and his hands rested on her waist softly.

"Like the man that I am holding right now?" She smiled.

His scowl deepened. "Don't jest please, this hurts."

She closed her eyes. "I am not jesting. You are not the same man as this young prince you are describing anymore. People grow and change through hardships. They learn, they evolve, and they prevail as they explore all the aspects of their character. How can you blame a young adult for making wrong choices now that you have such wisdom? Will you judge your children so harshly when they make their own wrong choices? Will you be so unfair to them? Why then be so unfair towards your younger self? Haven't you punished that poor dwarfling for his stupid choices enough? Haven't you punished yourself enough all these years?"

He squeezed his eyes tight and more tears run down his cheeks and got trapped in her fingers. "You don't care for what I did to Siv? You don't hate me? You don't think of me as a despicable liar…as disgraceful?" He whispered totally broken.

Her thumb dabbed his tears and she smiled softly. "I know how to forgive someone who is young…can you do the same?"

He shook his head. "I don't think I know how."

"Thorin listen to me. Let the past lay to rest. What you told me doesn't change the way I feel for you. Nothing will. Did you think I was going to hate you after that revelation? That is why you were keeping it from me?" She murmured.

He nodded slowly. "Yes."

"I cannot place myself in Siv's place even if I try. I can only judge the Thorin I got to know later. With me you broke all your promises to your father. You exceeded all those difficulties that made you send Siv away, didn't you? You changed your whole rulership and the laws of Erebor in order to include me and our children. You proved that a King doesn't have to be devoted only to his rulership. He can also be dedicated to his wife and children at the same time. You proved your father wrong. You conquered all those ancient demons, just to be with me, didn't you?" She whispered and rubbed the tears away from his cheeks softly.

"Yes." He inclined his head and closed his eyes. His fingers curled on her waist drawing her in.

"How could you think that I would judge you for your past Thorin?" -She frowned- "Have you ever judged my past?"

"Never…" He exhaled feeling his soul captivated like never before as Eilin's words were pulling at all the strings of his heart simultaneously.

"You never cared about my past. Don't expect anything less from me, please." She whispered and pecked his lips softly tasting his salty tears trapped there.

He moaned and drew her in. His lips vibrated and so did his body.

"I love you Thorin. I love everything on you. The good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. The perfect father who is also a bit reckless with his kids sometimes and that pisses me off. The loving husband who can also be terribly stubborn and unbearably commanding at times, but whose loyalty and devotion is second to none. The absolutely stunning man who is being mooned over by half of Erebor and makes me so incredibly jealous. The equally envious husband who tells me to dress more, because his men are giving me the dirty looks. The insecure dwarfling that is hiding inside you right now and the renowned courage of the legendary Oakenshield that is being sang in bard songs all over Middle Earth ….I love everything on you do you understand? Nothing you tell me about your past will ever change that my heart. Nothing!" She butted their foreheads and smiled at him lovingly.

"I love you too…more than words can say." He whispered and his hot lips captured hers in a prolonged, but gentle kiss that twisted her stomach around unexpectedly.

She exhaled hard through her nose and grabbed his strapping biceps. She pulled back with a groan of regret and stepped away from him. His face filled with childish uncertainty that made her loins bubble with a shimmering longing.

"Why did you pull away?" He asked.

She swallowed nervously and felt her whole skin prickling as her fingers began undoing the bow of her vest. "I want to show you something." She whispered.

"What?" He asked quietly and the sheepish look in his eyes only helped to fuel the excitement in her.

"Your real present." She smiled. He looked at her hands and then at her eyes with a silent tension that tickled her spine as she got prepared to undress for him. She not only wanted to show him her gratitude for baring his soul to her, she also wanted him to feast his eyes on her naked body and at the art that she had inked on it. An art dedicated to him…just for him….

For despite how afraid he was that she was going to judge him for his past…. he was her love and her love was him.

 


	27. Twin flames

Slowly she undid the bow and started pulling off the strings through each loophole, one by one. Delighting at the intensity that was mirrored in his eyes. When the vest slid off her shoulders she recognized in the depths of his eyes the usual hunger for her perky breasts that pushed rudely against her silky tunic. She brushed her long hair away from her shoulders and began untying it.

Thorin's eyes found hers. "Eilin…" His murmur was raspy.

A soft smile formed and her spine tensed. "Patience my heart."

When she finished she slid the tunic above her head and closed her eyes. The soft breeze that was coming from the window caressed her warm skin and her body filled with goosebumps that made her nipples harden. The embarrassment she felt as she presented her naked body to the father of her children slowly twisted the helix at the pit of her stomach. Her ears perked up when his heavy frame took a step towards her and she instantly tensed. She held her breath, until a feathery finger touched the side of her waist and made her exhale roughly. Her hands clenched into tight fists.

"What is this?" His voice was overcome.

Her eyes opened up to see his face undone and his eyes edging with tears. His long fingers were frozen a few inches above his inked name in the middle of her chest. She took his hand and led it slowly to her skin. "This is for you…"

"This is…" –His fingers touched the bumpy skin softly tracing the lines of the ancient, the sacred runes of his kin- "It is my…" He looked staggered.

She pressed his hand between her breasts and took a step closer to him. "It is your inner name my love and the animal that resides in your soul. It is my gift to you. It is the proof of my devotion to the most honorable, gentle and loving man I could have ever met. The man who gave me three children, a home and a life beyond anything I have ever dared to dream."

His fingers feathered down under her breast to touch the image of the black wolf. "That is what you did in Dale…" He muttered.

"Do you like it?" her soft fingers slid under his hair and wrapped around his nape.

His silence carried in it a tautness that tugged playfully at the coil in her stomach. She swallowed heavily and looked at his mouth, begging for him to answer…to do something more than look at her bemused with tears streaming down his eyes. He regarded the tattoos for so long that she thought he'd never speak again and just when she was ready to break the silence in any manner, he looked up at her and the ardor she saw in his eyes stole her breath away. Her smile blew a soft gust of affection which revealed all the layers of his heart, exposing its frail core for the first time in ages. His legs unlocked and he knelt in front of her heavily. His hands clasped her waist tightly and his forehead touched her belly. His eyes locked and a soft moan was released upon her skin that would never be able to express the true magnitude of his adoration for this woman. What she inked on her body reminded him that this woman had dedicated her life, her heart, soul and her body to him ever since they met a decade ago. He remembered that with her he had experienced love at its utmost form.

His fingers dag at her hips keeping her there as his mouth dispersed dozens of open lip kisses on her stomach as he tried to control his tears. When her hands tunneled through his mane he shuddered hard and his tongue came out to explore her silky skin.

"You like it?" She murmured with a congested voice that held behind waves of stifled emotion.

He groaned and his lips ghosted upon her belly-button. "Like it? My heart is aching..."

She pulled his hair and lifted his head up. Their burning glances clashed with an unspoken tension that thrilled his spine. "You hate it?"

He thumb ran the length of her smooth jawline and his lips drew on hers stormily. "You etched your body with my name. Eilin, my vocabulary is too poor to describe how much I adore you."

Eilin closed her eyes and her mouth opened to tease his with a kiss that erased every single worry from his mind. She smoothed over his supple lips softly, yearning to taste him and he yielded willingly. Her exploration was unhurried as her fingers twisted thoroughly in his long hair and she delighted at the small exhalations of pleasure that fled his mouth. When he slowly stood up without breaking the kiss, her body came in attention and got ready to be engulfed by his immense presence.

He probed her gently for control and then took over the kiss like the tempest he truly was, firing up all her senses. His scarred palms brushed her aroused skin with a roughness that thrilled her as he manipulated her towards the bed.

"Thorin wait, the door…it is unlocked…" She stammered.

"I don't care." He knocked her down with a firmness that erased every single query from her lips.

She fell in bed with a quiver of pleasure and his strong build consumed every single inch of hers. All those arguments and tension. All the endless worry for his health, all the jealousy for Ith, all the uncertainty of his past joined in a fiery cyclone that trampled over any misgivings she may have had for his ill state. She reciprocated his passionate kiss with a fierceness that knocked all the air out of his lungs and twisted her fingers through his mane with an almost primitive craze, making him gasp upon her mouth in hot protest.

"Are you truly in the mood for this?" She hissed.

"You have no idea how much…" He began undoing the strings of her trousers with a hasty awkwardness that made her cream her undergarments unwillingly.

"You are still so exhausted …You could barely stand at the corridor." She attempted to sound sane and prudent even though her mind was anything but reasonable at that moment. Her hands fumbled with his and she was the one to send her leather pants flying across the room along with her boots, despite her considerate words.

"I don't have to stand, do I?" The suggestiveness of his words and the richness of his tone made her flood with desire.

Instead of allowing him to overcome her like he always did, she grabbed his shoulders, twisted him around and made him land on his back. He leaned on his elbows and looked up at her with a deep scowl of confusion.

She arched her brow and tossed her long hair away from her chest, gifting him with a full view of her naked gorgeousness. His eyes slid rudely upon her inked skin, but got transfixed at the ginger patch of hair between her legs. His throat compressed and the fingers of his good hand crumbled the quilt under them. He could have kicked her off, thrown her in bed and had his way with her… that would have been way too easy. Yet he remained frozen, trembling from anticipation as she slowly straddled him.

A soft smile brightened her lips as she pulled his tunic over his head and then softly pushed him back down. "How about I take over today? You, my precious love, are still getting your strength back from a rather serious illness. I know you are still weak, but I ache to give you all the attention you deserve…" she murmured and began untying the strings of his trousers enticingly slow. His intense blue eyes held a craving that made her core flood with thick want.

Her soft lips skimmed past the dark hairline in the middle of his strong stomach and worried the large diagonal scar with soft kisses which made him close his eyes with a sigh of delight. His familiar whiff of manhood filled her head with a visceral longing that made her inner muscles ache as she tried to undress him. Her nails scraped his ribs, enjoying how his defined muscles tensed under her playful tongue. He lifted himself up, assisting her messy tries to pull down his trousers and another wave of the same captivating primeval scent came to undo her. She stood still for several moments admiring him as he lay in all his naked glory, already hard under her erotic scrutiny.

The quiver that galloped up her spine ended at all the small hair on her nape standing on end and she was overtaken by an insatiable need to feel his skin upon hers. She straddled him and buried her head on the crook of his neck, enjoying how his nails dug into her hips demandingly. Even though all he wanted to do was bring her down to him, he was easy to allow her all control because he was certain of his ability to take over any time he wished. That was until her small hands wrapped around his heavy erection and blew that conviction to kingdom come so unexpectedly that he found himself mentally praying for her to stop.

He hadn't felt her intimacy for so long that when her hands moved firmly along his impressive length, he sensed the idea of an unbidden orgasm forming in his loins quicker than he would have ever wanted. The muscles on his forearm flexed as his hand enclosed her breast. His mouth grew wet as he kneaded it a few times gently before his fingers found the peak and pinched it harder than he had ever been intending.

Eilin groaned in response and her teeth dug into his jawline possessively. "Tell me how much you need this." She frowned down at him and clutched his cheek greedily. He made another desperate attempt to lead her, but she resisted with a playful smile. "No…don't try to force me on you. Speak to me. Tell me what you need…."

His eyes shut tight and his heart thudded so hard that he could barely hear his thoughts, never mind about his voice. He planned to say _I want to feel you around me more than anything right now Eilin._ Instead he muttered. "I want you to allow me to take over before I lose all control."

Her lips ghosted his. "Are we in danger of that? Oakenshield losing control? Oh, the calamity. Your illness has really weakened you it seems." She whispered.

He swallowed hard and cringed. "Don't….don't play…I haven't been inside you for ages."

Eilin's eyes closed and her tongue teased the seam of his lips gently. "Who's playing? I want to see you lose control for me. I want to see you break apart for me. I want you to show me how much you want me. That I am the only woman you still yearn for with such an irrepressible need. That every single drop of your passion is only reserved for me…"

He opened his mouth to answer, but she lowered her hips and trapped his erection between her folds sending a wave of fire through his loins and a flow of confused erotic images through his mind. His hand left her breast and cupped her nape as his mouth opened up to give her a kiss of such ferocity that she squirmed in pleasure. She moved her hips and instantly airy threads of ecstasy unraveled all through her lower belly and a fiery river gushed through her folds and covered him. Then she knew that she didn't want to tease him anymore. Her need to be with him equaled his.

She shifted her shapely thighs and with a single smooth plunge she swallowed him whole. His groan was so deep it triggered an equally rich one from her. She panted upon his lips desperately trying to get used to his size that stung like hell.

"Stop…wait…" She heaved, now slightly uncertain at how easy it was for her to control her man's substantial breadth and length after such a long abstinence. Her mind had never forgotten how gifted he was, but apparently her body had, for after that daring dive it was quivering into a shocked stillness.

He nodded breathlessly. "Stay still…" He felt his mind melting inside a pool of fire that he was unable to tame at that moment.

As her scotching heat and her tight inner muscles embraced him like a glove his soul emptied into an ocean of yearning. The beautiful pain that he felt was a mere inconvenience in front of the haunting tension that was pooling at the pit of his stomach and screamed for release almost immediately. He felt it in his loins, in his spine, at the edge of his hardness…in every single thrilled cell of his body. He had yearned for her intimacy for so long and he had seen so many dreams of them making love that right now it was difficult to contain his desire for her. He never took care of himself all this time, he was always religiously waiting for her to be ready to have him in order to share his ecstasy with her. Maybe that was why he was so sensitive at this moment or maybe because he was still recuperating. No matter the reason, he wasn't sure he'd be able to handle the sensual body of his wife grinding on him for very long. He prayed inwardly that she'd remain put, that she wouldn't move and trigger a release that would come too soon.

Apparently though she had other ideas. She rocked on him carefully and send all his will-power reeling into the void. "I will not stay still….unless you make me."

He threw his head back to the mattress and his legs opened up as he tried to gain more access inside her silk-laden depths. He didn't want to stop her, did he? This was what heaven felt like, right? His lips parted and his breathing became strained as she continued her torture. What could he possibly say? That even though he knew exactly how to control himself until he could please her repeatedly, he was right now hanging from the edge of the bloody cliff by his pinky? He was too ashamed to admit such a defeat, but also unwilling to stop her as her inner muscles slowly robbed him of his sanity. He wanted to grab her hips and still her. He wanted to think of death, blood, misery, pain anything that'd take his mind off what she was doing to him. Anything to stop his oncoming release and make him last long enough to please her at least once. Yet his hands were encouraging on her softly undulating hips.

He was simply unable if not unwilling to stop her from drawing him into her sweet depths repeatedly. He didn't want to stop her deep grunts of pleasure from overflowing his mind with dirty thoughts. Neither his hips from rolling upwards which only assisted his galloping orgasm to gain momentum. Every single dream he had ever seen with him buried between her thighs returned to drive him mad.

His eyes cracked open and admired her beautiful inked body rocking on him. He gazed enchanted at the beautiful representation of the black wolf under her breast with its tail wrapping around her ribs. He looked fascinated at his inner name inked right above her heart and her full breasts caressing his palms as they swayed back and forth. He admired her beautiful face in rapture and his hand came up to stroke her lips, which opened up suggestively to suck in his middle finger. His teeth gritted against the inevitable and he gripped her hip hard. "Stop in the name of love Eilin…pull up!"

She whimpered and drew him in so deep that he bottomed out in her with an angry groan of abandonment. That was enough to make him tumble down the frothing river of ultimate bliss. He clutched her nape and his groan got mixed along with various curses in Khuzdul that could have made even the most experienced woman blush. While his body relished the euphoria she offered him, the guilt of his failure was already landing hard on him.

She still rocked slowly on him even after he lay immovable under her. "That was beautiful. I haven't seen your face in so much ecstasy for ages…and it was all my doing!" She sounded utterly proud of her accomplishment to his annoyance.

He gritted his teeth. "I didn't please you! I told you to stop, but you didn't listen you hot-headed girl!" He bit.

She didn't pull away from his fading erection. "I didn't want to stop Thorin. I wanted to see how much I can still affect you, which apparently is a lot!" She giggled.

"Now what?" -He arched his brow- "One is satisfied, the other one isn't. You know I hate that."

"I'll find a way. I am still aroused as hell. Even more so now that I witnessed your explosion. Your face in orgasm can drive me mad." She frowned and her eyes seared into his. Before he could respond she rocked across his fading length and her breath hitched.

"And such bloody half-measures are good enough for you?" His brow furrowed.

"Yes." She nodded and her eyelids closed as she took over a slow rubbing game that would easily lead her already aroused womanhood to the release she yearned for. He attempted to take over, but she grabbed his hands and pinned them on the mattress next to his head. The tips of her nipples buzzed when the rough hair on his chest caressed them and her face suspended above his in a haunted expression of expectancy that made his stomach twist anew. Her hot breath whipped his cheeks and her fingers twisted desperately around the leather armbands of his wrists as she was reaching the previous state of arousal rapidly. Her long hair draped down his shoulders creating a curtain of silky red curls around them.

He stayed still, absolutely enraptured by her unhinged need to seek pleasure from him without assistance. The more he looked at the trance of her face escalating the more he felt unable to cool down. The faster she moved on him, the more his body responded with a fresh wave of excitement. He released his wrists from her tight grip and cupped her cheek drawing her down, needing to taste the sound of her desire. When his lips enfolded hers in a gentle, but deeply penetrating kiss she whimpered incoherently. His hand came up her side and caressed her nipple enjoying how her body rolled inwards at his touch.

He moved his mouth on hers with a leisurely eroticism that birthed a heartfelt plea out of her chest. "Thorin I am almost there…please."

A sense of relief overtook him suddenly….he was back in control.

Instead of assisting her to the blessed culmination she so longed for, he twisted his grip in her mane and pushed her away from him brusquely. She fell back on the bed with a body that was quivering as her orgasmic onslaught got halted with a screech of frustration. She groaned and her throbbing womanhood clutched the void angrily. This sudden suspension left her body bustling and her mind spinning in overdrive. She turned around with a scowl of disbelief and looked at him. "What the hell?!"

He was kneeling in front of her with a smug smile she wanted to slap out of his handsome, but seriously flustered face. She gazed at his stunning eyes that were covered with so much raunchiness her inner muscles convulsed pleadingly for him take over. His muscular chest and stomach were covered in a thin layer of sweat and his hands were gripping his strong thighs in an effort to keep himself in check. He looked so sexy at that moment that her mouth grew dry from desire. Her gaze was slowly drawn greedily towards the dark patch of hair between his legs and her core convulsed as she feasted at Thorin in full mast once more, with his erection visibly pulsating for her. Did she do that to him again without understanding? A fresh surge of pride rushed through her mind, which was crushed by her vexation.

"Why in the name of heaven did you stop?" She heaved.

"Because you deserve more than this. Much, much more." He said enticingly. His fingers scraped her buttocks gently. It was a feathery touch, but her already overworked body translated it as another opportunity to get back to the galloping rhythm of her orgasm and her bottom moved eagerly towards his hand seeking for more.

"You are so sensitive right now aren't you?" he whispered.

"You have no idea…" She murmured.

Her eyelids drooped heavily as his hand planed up her side. He was barely touching her and yet her whole body broke out in goosebumps. She had never felt so sensitive to his touch and that was probably because he had prolonged her release…twice. She gazed at the weeping erection between his legs and reached out to touch him, but his hands captured hers with a firmness that made her purr and led them to the railing of the headboard, commanding her silently to keep them there.

Then his fingers circled her voluptuous breasts lightly and her body responded with a hunger that echoed straight in her womb. The gentle touch of his fingertip on her nipple made her body arch up to his hand and her eyes flew open. "Oh, heavens…" She faltered. He climbed on top of her slowly enough to make her feel every inch of his sweaty skin and then his mouth took over a slow exploration of every available inch of skin.

She heard her teeth rattling as her body trembled uncontrollably each time he touched her, but it was his hardness poking the inside of her thigh that tore a visceral groan from her throat. "Not anymore torment…please." She begged.

He cupped her cheek and settled between her legs lingering for several more moments. "That's my girl…" He murmured upon her lips hotly.

Her lips parted and she exhaled in anticipation, counting the loud thuds of her heart in her ears expecting it to stop at any moment.

He thrust in her so torturously slow that she felt every single inch of his heavy erection and her body shuddered hard in appreciation as it got filled to the brim. Almost in desperation she attempted to wrap herself around him, but he kept her at a distance, clearly in control. He held her knees apart as he began a slow, but very thorough lunge that awoke soft whimpers from her well-kissed lips and caused all her logical processes to shut down. He wanted so much to admire her beautiful face that was twisted in pleasure and at her cheeks that were mounted a crimson color. At her fingers that were twisting around the iron headboard as they tried to keep her body steady so it could enjoy the full depth of his penetration. Then his eyes slid down to her voluptuous breasts that were swelling with his rhythm and ended up at his inner name that was inked above her heart. The traces of another orgasm began forming in his balls and he frowned in mild disbelief at how easily the image of her inked body was able to unravel him once again.

It was as if she felt the new tension in his body and her beautiful green eyes opened up to shower him with such affection that he felt himself melting for her. He wanted to remain detached as he controlled her pleasure. He knew her release was going to be monumental after she got edged twice. He wanted to help her over the edge again and again while he held absolute dominance of their love making this time. However her beloved face unraveling in pleasure and her stunning inked body being rocked to the point of defeat, felt too precious to his heart to allow him that element of impartiality.

He released her knees and cradled her close to his heart while his hips rolled against hers, stroking her sweet spot firmly. His hands pulled hers away from the headboard and their fingers stippled. Then he came down to offer her a kiss that held so much affection it nurtured Eilin's body towards the light. One of her hands held his perfect backside in order to pull him deeper, while her shin smoothed down his muscular thigh.

"Oh, I love this…" She purred. Her head was already swimming with the precursors of a major orgasm and her toes curled inwards trying to find something to hold onto as her body was about to shutter.

"You are all mine…" Those words were rumbled in her mouth and she inhaled sharply as the next deep thrust finally set her free. She exploded around him with such ferocity that he gritted his teeth against the instinctive need to pound in her more aggressively. Her strained body quivered and her thighs shook uncontrollably around his hips. Her nails broke through his skin gifting him with several love scratches while her teeth bruised his collarbone. Despite the pain she was offering him he held her tightly as she rode down her pleasure and it wasn't long after that he earned his second release for the evening. Whatever noise his chest made was muted by her bodacious cries of ecstasy and Thorin's eyes flew at the open window in belated need to keep her quiet.

He cradled her in his arms and stroked her burning cheeks and her plump lips until her breath finally quietened and her limps lay boneless upon the wet sheets. She looked up at him with eyes that were shaded by a blissful fog.

Her hand came up to caress his sweaty shoulder. "You keep looking at that window…" She noted.

"We keep raising hell whenever we are in Thranduil's realm. We did the same thing eleven years ago, remember?" His smile was smug.

"Well, at least no one chastised us this time." She raised her brow.

Thorin looked at her face thoughtfully for several moments before speaking again. "Tell me Eilin, was your attempt to control our encounter at that beginning instigated by a belated need to prove your hold over me, because of Ith?"

Eilin nibbled her bottom lip. "It wasn't an attempt. I did control you perfectly well if I remember correctly and it seems that I do have a pretty solid hold over you."

"Stop trying to sound so conceited and answer." He grinned.

Eilin snorted. "Did it bother you?"

"Not at all." He replied honestly.

"Then yes it was!" She said proudly.

"I must find another woman willing to spark the jealousy in you, because you were simply breathtaking today." Thorin whispered and kissed her gently.

She drew back and smacked his shoulder. "Hey! Don't tease…"

"Who said I am teasing?" Thorin's smirk was frisky.

Her fingers caressed his sweaty collarbone, lingering on the purple bruise that her teeth had created. "I don't want another woman getting between us…ever again." She muttered.

"No woman ever did." He frowned.

She closed her eyes and pulled him down by the beard braid until she could kiss his lips deeply and thoroughly.

When he drew back from her captivating kiss his gaze slid smoothly down her sweaty breasts and got trapped between them, at his name. His fingers traced the runes deliberately slow. "What you did for me is beyond…words…."

Her palm rested above his dove tattoo. "I didn't do anything more than what you have done for me."

It took him several moments to speak with a hushed voice. "I missed being this close to you…so much."

"Me too." She admitted shyly.

"We have drawn so far apart through the years." His clear brow creased.

"A little bit, but look at the bright side. We have also created a loving family out of ruins…my life before I met you was destroyed Thorin and so was yours. We held and supported each other through all the hardships and we created three beautiful children. Okay, we may argue sometimes, but what long-term couple doesn't? We shall always figure things out in the end, right?"

"We will. You are right. My parents had even more quarrels, yet they loved each other to death. Their devotion never wavered, despite all the adversities." He rejoined quietly. His long fingers never stopped caressing her tattoos softly.

"I think we can surpass your parents." Her mouth formed the sweetest smile.

"I think we already have." He caressed her nose with his.

A small cloud shadowed her gorgeous eyes. "I wonder if my father had ever felt that way with my mother. You know if they had ever been truly in love like we are. If they intended to have a child or if I was the result of a single unwanted meeting. I sometimes wonder if it was even a payed transaction…you know."

Thorin's brow wrinkled.

"Did my parents ever go through the learning experience that we call marriage and parenthood even for a little while or did they split ways after coming to their senses the next morning, full of regrets? I guess I will never know, right?"

Thorin's eyes darkened. "Tell me…are you truly willing to learn?"

Eilin closed her eyes and smiled. "By supposition you mean? Like I always do? Or by endless conversations with you under the stars were I like to imagine things."

"No, through your father." Came the flat answer.

Eilin stirred under his body. "You mean if by some weird twist of fate he ever came to me with the answers?"

Thorin nodded and his fingers cleared some red ringlets away from her forehead. "Yes."

"That will never happen. You have seen how many crooks tried to pose as my long lost father. He is gone Thorin. I will never have my answers. I know you mean well, but can we please let it go? As long as I have you I will be alright." Eilin kissed his collarbone with a long-drawn exhalation.

Thorin cupped her cheek and touched their foreheads. "I will never let anyone hurt you. Do you believe me?" The tone of his voice held a shadow that made Eilin open her eyes suspiciously.

"I know…"

"Still…promise to me that if ever… you find yourself in the position to hear the answers…you will keep an open mind." Thorin was finding this very hard.

"I can't be sure how I would react if my father ever showed up in front of me." The broken sincerity in Eilin's voice made his heart pinch sorely.

"I am not sure either…That is what I fear." He bit his lower lip and gazed deep into her eyes.

"Thorin…are you alright? We are talking supposedly here, correct?" She frowned and caressed his temples.

He exhaled and forced a smile. "Yes always supposedly. I will be there with you if the time ever comes Eilin. I will be there even before you to clear the road, remember that."

Eilin's brows creased suspiciously. "I know honey."

He lay back and his hand pressed the small of her back drawing her to him. He inhaled the muskiness of her release and sighed softly. "Just remember that everything I am doing is to protect you."

She kissed his chest. "I love you too…"

He nodded and closing his eyes. "I know…."

"It looks like you over-excreted yourself." Her smile was sly.

He reciprocated and peeped at her from one open eye. "I will drain myself for your pleasure every time."

She chuckled and kissed his bearded chin. "Rest my warrior King…just rest." She murmured and continued her gentle caress, feeling the soft breeze cooling down their skins.

It was not long after that Thorin's breathing became steady and Eilin lifted her head in order to see him. Her fingers curled around a ringlet of silver and black. She tagged it lightly and smiled at how restful and calm he looked at that moment. She slowly got out of bed and dressed. Then she pulled the quilt over his naked body and kissed his cool temple softly. She lingered several moments over him relishing at this rarely peaceful moment before tiptoeing to the desk where she had sighed her recent orders. She picked up Thorin original command for Dol Guldur and also the ring that bore his sigil. She rolled them up and hid them on the inside pockets of her vest. Then she shuffled quietly to the door and close it gently behind her.

* * *

 

Eilin knocked on Rhiannon's door with a huge smile of appreciation towards the sweet soreness she felt between her legs. She had missed her husband's intimacy so much all this time and she felt so blissful after what happened that nothing could ruin her mood. Not even the reason why she was here in the middle of the night. She shifted her legs and as her thighs rubbed the soreness flared up and so did her cheeks so when the door opened she was all hot and bothered.

Rhiannon frowned at her. "Why do you looked so flustered?"

Eilin pushed past her and entered the room. "You alone?" She asked.

Rhiannon threw her a scrutinizing gaze and shook her head. "What the hell happened to you? Did you tussle with a bear?"

Eilin felt her cheeks blushing and ran her fingers through her hair. "You didn't tell me if you are alone." She repeated.

"I got your son and his girlfriend in the room next door, but other than that I am alone yes."

"Who's my son's girlfriend?" Eilin's eyes suddenly filled with annoyance.

Rhiannon pursed her lips. "I meant his girl friend…little Celebriel. Lady Arwen's niece? Lord Elrond's granddaughter?"

Eilin sighed in relief. "Oh, that one. Yes, okay. Are they asleep?"

"Last time I checked yes." Rhiannon frowned.

Eilin grabbed her sleeve and pulled her to the balcony. "We need to talk immediately."

Rhiannon stumbled behind her and when they were outside she was unable not to comment on Eilin's disheveled state once more. "Okay, either you had a pillow fight with your husband or he's been naughty. You look absolutely tousled."

Eilin's cheeks caught fire. "We had a very long, very much needed talk. He feels much better."

"You had more than a talk and his improved health is reflected upon you appearance very clearly." Rhiannon raised her brow playfully.

Eilin pursed her lips. "Rhia enough…"

"Your hair is a mess, your cheeks are burning bright red, your lips are puffed up probably because they've been kissed to kingdom come, you have a huge love bite at the right side of your neck and you are glowing. I'd say the King did a good job settling down all your worries. Haven't seen you so radiant in ages." Rhiannon crossed her arms smugly.

Eilin huffed vexed. "I swear…you are pissing me off right now."

"Am I mistaken? Don't forget…I have been working in the love business far too long. I know a thoroughly satisfied woman when I see one." Rhiannon teased.

Eilin closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. "I came down on him hard."

"It looks like he did the same." Rhiannon's brow arched.

Eilin looked even more bashful at those words if possible. "Let's say we had a good time and I am happy you kept Durin with you."

Rhiannon cleared her throat and looked amused to say the least. "Actually I was coming to bring you Durin when I heard from the end of the corridor what sounded like someone having a lot of fun. Turned around with both kids and brought them here."

If Eilin's cheeks were red before, at that moment they became deep crimson. "Durin heard us?!"

"We were far, he was talking with Celebriel and they are too young to understand. Besides we left immediately." Rhiannon smiled.

Eilin grasped her hand. "Thank you."

"You are welcome. I am so happy you guys have finally solved your problems." Rhiannon's eyes sparkled.

Eilin nibbled her bottom lip nervously.

"Yet there is something else that worries you. Come on, out with it." Rhiannon's acute perceptiveness poked Eilin.

The Queen looked at her bashfully. "I am not safe these days to be loved fully."

Rhiannon tilted her chin up. "Ah…and the King couldn't hold himself?"

Another modest gaze from Eilin. "I didn't want him to hold himself. I barely thought about the risk…you see I was too involved in the moment to care."

"And apparently he didn't care either…."

"He didn't care twice…" Eilin stifled a groan.

Rhiannon cupped her smiling mouth. "That ups the chances."

"I know…and I am afraid." Eilin looked up anxiously.

"Afraid of what? You've had three kids with him already." Rhiannon frowned.

"Well, I didn't quite tell him those were dangerous days, did I? I kind of kept it to myself. What if he didn't want to love me fully? What if he didn't want to chance another baby now?" Eilin rejoined.

Rhiannon sighed. "We are having the same bloody conversation we had at the star fountains almost nine years ago, remember?"

Eilin nodded with a wistful smile. "Yes."

"And then you had Thrárin and none of your fears came true. Thorin was over the moon when you told him you were pregnant." Rhiannon continued.

"Indeed."

"And he knows how easily you fall pregnant so if he didn't want another baby he wouldn't have taken any chances with your over-fertile womb." Rhiannon smirked.

Eilin winced. "I suppose…so what if…"

"You fell pregnant again?" Rhiannon finished her thought.

Eilin nodded.

"Would you like that?" Rhiannon raised her brow.

"I would love that." Eilin grinned.

"Then by Eru's will, you shall give birth to another baby and your family will grow bigger. What do you expect?" Rhiannon grasped her hands.

"Thorin to be mad that I didn't tell him?" Eilin whispered.

"That will never happen. Stop moping around in misery. If he didn't wish for such a big family already he would have kept his dick out of your…" Rhiannon began.

Eilin cupped her mouth with a giggle. "Shut up you thot!"

Rhiannon laughed and embraced her. "I hope you are pregnant again. I'd like to see you have a baby girl this time. His loins are gifting you with too many boys."

"Let's not hurry so much. It's too soon to know and besides we have something of far greater importance to deal with right now, did you forget?"

Rhiannon's face grew solemn. "Did you get them?"

Eilin nodded and pulled her by the hand inside the rooms. She placed the scroll and the ring on the desk. "Can you counterfeit his writing?"

Rhiannon stood above it thoughtfully for several moments. "It is very artistic, but I think I can do it. Does Ith know his hand-writing well?"

"She has probably read a few of his manifestos that are kept in the public libraries, but I think we can get away with it. Just try to get his signature right." Eilin placed the royal ring next to the scroll.

Rhiannon sat down and took the quill. "I have forged many hand-writings love. Don't worry. Ith won't suspect a thing."

"The King will ask her to meet him at the charmed waterfalls tomorrow right after the sunset. Tell her to burn this letter when she reads it, but to keep his ring as a gift of his appreciation." Eilin stooped above Rhiannon trying to get a glimpse of her masterful work.

"Are you sure Durar will follow you there to see her for himself?" Rhiannon asked without taking her eyes from the scroll as she worked meticulously.

"Yes, and then he will have all the proof he needs along with Thorin's ring. Durar is too principled to accept such shameful deeds from a close family member. He will take care of her silently after that. I also hope he will keep Thorin out of it too. I am depending on his unwillingness to stain the name of his family to the King of the North." Eilin's brow creased.

Rhiannon nodded and worked for several moments silently. Then she took great care to re-create Thorin's aesthetic signature. When she finished she looked up at Eilin. "What do you think? Is it close enough?"

Eilin picked it up and examined it closely. Then a soft smile formed on her mouth. "Perfect…well…I can see the differences and I am sure Balin would have figured it out too, but I don't think anyone else would have understood the forgery. You are truly gifted…in being a con artist." She raised her brow appreciatively at Rhiannon.

Her best friend chuckled. "I was always ready to do whatever it took to survive. Now bring it here so we can seal it. Then I will take it to her."

"Make sure she doesn't suspect you." Eilin warned her.

"Of course she will not. I know how to deal with hussies very well. Been around them for ages." Rhiannon sounded self-certain.

Eilin smiled and helped her seal the letter with Thorin's royal sigil.

* * *

 

"Did you hear that?" Celebriel looked at Durin's bright blue eyes.

"No I am deaf." He barked.

"No need to be snappy!" She retorted.

"I knew that woman was after my dad. I knew she was going to cause trouble. I should have protected them far sooner. Then maybe all this wouldn't have happened." Durin sat back crossly.

Celebriel noticed that behind his angry countenance, his eyes were glistening. She touched his forearm. "Hey."

He drew it back and turned away. "Leave me alone."

Celebriel pressed her lips and stooped down to see his face. "Are you crying?"

Durin wiped away the tears angrily. "They have been fighting like mad for so long about my lost grandfather. Then this woman came along and created even more trouble. If she hadn't been here, they wouldn't have fought so much. My dad and my mom love each other you know and Ith came in the middle, making them angry with each other and now I am mad at her too."

Celebriel's fingers curled around his arm. "Hey, don't cry. I understand how angry you must be at her. I'd be angry too if someone tried to get between my mom and my dad. Even if I never met my mom."

Durin looked up at that and his azure eyes softened if only slightly. "I keep doing this to you, don't I? With your mom? Sorry." He sounded genially regretful.

Celebriel smiled and pulled herself up to his face stopping just before their noses touched.

Durin's brow furrowed with uncertainty and he looked away bashfully.

Celebriel smiled and planted a soft kiss on his cheek. Then she drew back. "It's okay. I am here for you."

Durin rubbed his cheek. "Will you help me get Ith?"

"Of course I will." Celebriel's eyes were beaming at him.

"You will?" He sounded incredulous.

"That's what friends do." She rejoined casually.

He was thrown off tracks for a couple of moments, but then he reciprocated with a grumpy smile of his own. "Thank you."

"So how are we going to do it?" Celebriel gave him a searching look.

"I want to ridicule her!" He gritted his teeth.

"I am in…I just don't know how." Celebriel rubbed her hands together.

He looked at her briefly. "Have you read all of my dad's stories from the reclaiming of the Lonely Mountain?"

"Every single one!" Celebriel's eyes twinkled with pleasure.

"You remember how he and his company escaped from Thranduil's halls?"

"Through the trap door at the wine cellar by the help of Master Bilbo's shrewdness. They rode the river inside barrels.* What does that have to do with anything?" Celebriel scowled.

"Can you find the wine cellar?" Durin's blue eyes bore down at hers demandingly.

"I think so, yes. Why?" Celebriel leaned closer to him.

"I might have an idea." He smiled cunningly.

"Perfect! I cannot wait!" Celebriel clapped enthusiastically and that is when they heard voices close to the door and someone fiddling with the handle.

They careened towards their beds and tumbled over each other with a grunt of pain, but they managed to be under their covers when the door opened.

Eilin stood in front of it with a knowing smile on her lips. "I heard you people."

They didn't move.

Eilin entered and crossed her arms. "You are not as silent as you wish to be. Why aren't you sleeping at this hour?"

Durin peeped under the blanket. "We were just talking mom."

"Yes we were talking." Celebriel did the same.

Eilin walked over to the mesmerizing little Elfling. "Well, hello little darling. Does your dad know that you are going to sleep with us tonight?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, but he wasn't very happy."

"Then maybe we need to take you home?" Eilin caressed her silver-golden hair away from her perfect face.

"No, my grandad allowed me!" -Celebriel grasped her hand firmly- "Please mam I want to stay. We are having fun."

Eilin threw a quick glance at her son. "I can see that. My son seems unwilling to do anything without your company lately."

Durin blushed. "Mom stop! I just don't have any other friends here, that's all."

"Oh, I thought that maybe Celebriel stole your little heart. Something that Alma never managed to do." Eilin teased.

"Who is Alma?" Celebriel crossed her arms and looked at Durin furiously.

"No one…" Durin said sheepishly, but his mom came to undo him.

"Only the prettiest girl in Erebor. All the boys want to be her friends."

"MOM!" Durin snapped.

Eilin raised her palms. "Oops…did I mess up?"

Durin humphed and sat angrily on his bed. "I don't care about girls that way. Cel is just my friend, okay? Stop embarrassing me!"

"Cel…?" Eilin raised her brows eloquently.

Celebriel smirked smugly. "I like it when he calls me that mam."

"I bet." Eilin pinched her cheek and the little Elfling giggled.

Durin's glower was so penetrative that anyone other than his mother would have been unnerved. "Wipe that look off your face young man and get back in bed. Enough fooling around. It is already too late for you two to be awake. Now do you want me to tuck you in?"

Durin laid down and brought the quilt over his head. "NO!" He grumbled.

"Do you want a kiss from mommy? It will make the anger go away…" Eilin said in a singsong manner and Rhiannon snorted from the door.

"MOM!" Durin pushed the covers back and glared at her.

Eilin chuckled. "Alright I won't tease you anymore my proud warrior Prince. Now sleep before I stop being playful and I start becoming harsh."

Durin laid down and looked at the ceiling. "Fine."

Eilin tucked in Celebriel. "Do you want anything from us baby girl?"

The little Elfling gave her a dazzling smile. "No mam thank you."

Eilin caressed her brow and then leaned down to give her a kiss. "Good night little lady."

"Night mam." Celebriel said happily.

Eilin went to her son and caressed his black wavy hair. "A kiss for mommy?"

"No…" Durin said and looked away.

She leaned down and kissed his cheek. "Love you darling."

Durin wiped his cheek and tried to look mad although he wasn't.

When they were alone again Durin sprang from the bed and crawled to the door. He placed his ear on the panel and held his breath. Celebriel did the same. "Are they gone?" She whispered.

"My mom is, Rhiannon is still in there keeping watch." Durin rejoined.

"So what are we going to do?" Celebriel asked.

Durin grabbed her hand and tiptoed to the door that led to the corridor. "Are you in the mood to sleep?"

Celebriel scrounged her nose. "I am in the mood for an adventure. You?"

"Me too." He smiled.

"To the wine cellar?" She grinned.

"Yes!" he whispered and opened the door quietly.

Celebriel hid behind his back as he checked to see if anyone was coming.

He looked at her above his shoulder for a couple of moments before saying in a hushed tone. "Alma would have never been as daring as you."

Celebriel's alabaster cheeks flushed red. "Am I more daring than Lis?" Her eyes glimmered eagerly.

Durin cringed. "Eh…that's taking it a bit too far. That girl is an absolute beast."

Celebriel face fell and her lips curled down. "You don't know how to compliment a girl. You just ruined it."

"Oh, shut it. Let's go." He said and pulled her behind him.

Then before anyone could spot them, they dashed through the corridors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * StanleyG2701 ^_^ Thank you for the idea.


	28. Elves vs Dwarves

 

"Duck!" Durin dragged Celebriel under an archway created by thick branches.

"Shit!" Her smooth cheek crushed unceremoniously on his chest and his long ringlets caressed her temple as he peered at the corridor.

"Not a word." He whispered.

Celebriel's young heart was racing. "Are they gone?" She spoke in a hushed tone.

When the footsteps of the Elven guards became distant Durin released her. "Yeah."

She closed her eyes and grabbed her chest tightly. "That was close."

"You are telling me?" He snorted.

"Don't giggle this is serious!" –She chastised- "My dad dislikes your dad. It was only by grandpa's will they allowed me for a sleepover. If they find I've been sneaking out with you I will be grounded for a week." Celebriel straightened her hair and glimpsed round the corner to make sure they were alone.

"If my dad finds out I've been dragging Elrond's grand-daughter to my usual mischiefs I will be grounded for life." Durin returned.

"Yeah okay. I suppose with are both doomed." Celebriel looked at him with a playful smirk.

"Thought you regretted helping me for a moment there." Durin's eyes were uncertain.

Celebriel grabbed his hand. "No way in hell! I love this!" She said and pulled him down the corridor.

Durin barely had the time to offer a grumpy smile at her back before he was forced to follow her quick pace.

They ran quickly down the staircase, holding their breaths and trying to be as quiet as possible. Thankfully they didn't come across anyone else and when they entered the cellar it was Durin who searched every nook and cranny to make sure they were alone. "We are clear." He said and stood in the middle of the vast hall with his thumbs hooked on his suspenders.

"So what are we doing here again?" Celebriel asked nonchalantly.

"I'll tell you in a minute. For now we eat." Durin climbed the table and began picking up grapes and stuffing them in his mouth. Then he stopped and sighed in satisfaction-"That's tasty." He mumbled before snatching a whole bunch and gulping it down without bothering to chew. One grape went the wrong way and he started coughing like crazy.

Celebriel climbed on the table and whacked his back until the remains of those grapes flew across the table and onto the floor. She remained looking at them bewildered for several moments. Then she gave him one of the wine mugs. "Drink!" -She commanded and when she made sure he was okay she sat back and rubbed her forehead- "Are you insane? You almost choked! You are so crude and clumsy sometimes, usual Dwarf…even though I expected the legendary Durin to have a bit more grace…"

He choked on the wine he was drinking instead. "Dwarves are anything but crude you silly girl! All those dainty jewelry your people adore are made by our rough hands!" He spat angrily.

Celebriel smiled bashfully. "That is true."

"So take it back!" He snapped and instead of putting the wine down, he drank some more.

"Okay forgive me, but you ate so clumsily before, I got scared.” She raised her brows.

"I was hungry." He spat as if that was reason enough.

She removed the wine from his hands. "And also you shouldn't be drinking so much alcohol. You are too young!"

"You gave it to me in the first place!" He glowered.

"Just to stop you from choking, not to get you drunk!" She rebuked.

"I won't get drunk so easily. I am always stealing uncle Dain's mug when he leaves it beside his chair." His eyes twinkled with pleasure.

"And you feel proud of drinking adult beverages?" She sounded incredulous.

"Why not? He crossed his arms.

She pulled him off the table. "Come down you gruff tyrant. This is not the time to eat or get drunk. You brought us here for a reason. Tell me what it was before someone finds us and we both end up confined in our bedrooms till we grow old."

He landed with a grump of annoyance and walked over the trap door. "We are going to send someone tumbling down the river the same way Thorin's company did. How about that?"

Celebriel stood next to him with her arms crossed. "Ith?"

Durin pressed his lips smugly. "I will humiliate her for messing with my family. I want her twisting and rolling violently in those cold waters and then I want her to return to the realm like the shivering wet rodent that she is…and I want my dad to see her like that and chuckle at her silly face."

Celebriel sneakered behind her hand. "You are mean."

"Oh, yes I am." -He nodded haughtily and looked around- "Now there aren't any barrels close to the trap door. We need to find some empty and bring them over."

Celebriel lifted her finger and began looking around immediately. "We also have to arrange them so they won't look like a trap."

"Then we have to find the lever that opens the trapdoor…" Durin frowned at his inability to locate it.

"Which I see nowhere…and then you have to explain to me how you are going to convince her to get inside a barrel." Celebriel added and looked down an empty one with a satisfied smile- "Got one. Come help me roll it over."

"That is something that you are going to accomplish with your cute looks." Durin came at the other side and helped her rock the barrel until it fell.

She looked up suddenly. "You think I am cute?" Her eyes sparkled.

"All girls are cute…in a nauseating kind of way of course, but that will help us with Ith. You will manage to convince her much easier to follow you here, than I ever would." Durin admitted grumpily.

Celebriel's face fell. "No, you have no idea how to make a compliment."

"I don't want to learn. Now push." He said and they both rolled the barrel on top of the trap door.

"You will grow up to become a grumpy old man. You have no kind of grace in you!" She rebuked and went around to search for another empty barrel.

"No I am gruff and clumsy and grouchy. You told me enough times already! If you want grace search for an Elfish friend and leave me alone." He spat and rolled another empty barrel above the trap door.

"If I wanted an Elfish friend I would have gotten one instead of you! At least they know how to make a compliment. I didn't need to come help you tonight you know!" She shouted and tried to rock another barrel, but found it too heavy.

He came over and tipped it over easily. "Then why did you!?" He barked and pushed the barrel angrily. He was so absent-minded that he wasn't fast enough to draw his hand away and it got trapped between the barrels. He felt it crushing under their weight and howled in pain.

Instantly Celebriel's anger got grounded and she hurried to help him. "Pull your hand out! This is too heavy, I cannot hold it!"

Durin released his hand and sat on the floor with a gasp of pain, cradling his mangled hand. "Shit….dad is going to kill me." He muttered.

She knelt and grabbed his wrist. "Let me see!" She said and instantly hissed when she saw the bruised skin and bloody knuckles- "Oh, that's nasty. Why weren't you careful?" She chastised.

"I really can do without a second Rhianaye in my life. I swear…!" He glared at her trying hard to look intimidating, when suddenly they heard voices coming from the stairs.

She pulled him up and led him quickly behind a stack of barrels. "Silence!" She commanded.

He sat down cross legged trying to stop his eyes from tearing up as the pain was burning through his hand. "Don't tell me what to do…" He hissed.

"Silence!" She pointed towards the archway were two tall shadows appeared.

"You sure the thud came from here?" one of the guards said.

"I think so." The other answered.

Celebriel touched Durin's wrist and shushed him.

He nodded and gritted his teeth against the pain.

"You check that side and I will check the other one."

Celebriel tensed and cupped Durin's mouth.

He glowered at her with his penetrating azure eyes.

She shook her head and pointed at the pair of brown boots that threw shadows under the stack they were hiding behind. They both held their breaths for what seemed like an eternity and when the boots walked away Durin closed his eyes and felt sweat breaking on his forehead. Celebriel grabbed his bicep and asked him silently if he was okay.

He nodded and tried to peek between the barrels at the guards who stood on top of the trap door.

"Who placed those here?"

"Maybe it was Elaith rearranging the empty barrels?"

"Yeah possibly. Should we put them back?"

"No, don't mess with his stash. Remember how angry he got last time?"

"Yeah that's true."

They both laughed and walked towards the archway. Soon their voices became distant enough for the kids to feel safe enough.

Celebriel leaned against the wall. "That was close."

Durin mimicked her still cradling his hand. "We almost got busted."

She eyed him appreciatively. "Ever since I met you my life has become a little less boring."

"Was that a compliment or an accusation?" He scowled.

"You are worthless in making a compliment and totally unable to recognize one. Now stand still you doofus." She said and cupped his bruised hand.

He pulled it away angrily. "Don't touch it! It hurts."

She didn't relent. She placed her palm under it and brought it on her lap. "I know. Now stand still." She murmured and touched the mangled knuckles gently.

Durin felt a wave of warmth entering his skin and instantly the pain withdrew. He looked at her bewildered. "Was that Elven magic? I've heard about it."

"I am not as good as my grandfather or my dad, but I am learning. Auntie Arwen knows a lot of healing charms. I used one of those on you. Does it feel better?" She looked at him with a sweet smile.

He felt his lip twitching with the prologue of a smile and drew his hand away. "Yeah. Tha-nk you, I suppose." He stumbled awkwardly.

She pressed her lips and leaned her head on his shoulder. "You want us to find more barrels?"

He gave her a fleeting look and had to refrain from standing up and letting her slide on the floor. "No, those three are enough. We will manage to convince her to get into one."

"You mean I will manage that." Celebriel smiled.

This time his lips did curl up. "Yes, you will. Listen…." He hesitated.

"Yes?" She felt her eyes drooping heavily.

"Thank you for helping me out today….and yesterday…and …."

She interrupted him. "And tomorrow and all the days after that if you like. That's what friends do."

He looked regretfully at his lap. "Thank you for my hand."

She nodded and patted his forearm. "It's okay. We haven’t found the lever of the trap-door yet though. Shall we go back?"

He looked apprehensively towards the archway. "Maybe we should wait a bit just to make sure they left and search some more?"

"Sure." Celebriel nodded and closed her eyes.

Durin kept his eyes on the landing of the staircase fearful that he'd see the shadows returning. He didn't know how long they stayed quietly waiting for the guards to come back, but when he felt secure enough he turned only to see Celebriel sleeping serenely on his shoulder.

His brows creased annoyed and he reached out to arouse her, but she looked so peaceful at that moment. He sighed and observed his bruised knuckles. There was no more pain. He pursed his lips and closed his eyes deciding that he wasn't willing to bother Celebriel's sleep. He made a mental note to never reveal to Celebriel that he allowed her to sleep on him and of course to never tell his sister what happened unless he wished for eternal mocking.

With these thoughts in mind he eyes slowly closed down and his head slid from the wall and propped on top of Celebriel's….and that is how the rest of the night found them. Leaning against the wall and on top of each other snoring away a very exhausting, but also thrilling day.

* * *

 

That next morning in the royal couple's chambers didn’t start very quietly and that was due to the King's early morning hunger for games. When he woke up he was all hot and bothered despite their adventures last night, so he found it impossible to keep his hands to himself. He pushed his already awakened body against Eilin's soft and warm skin not only once, but several times in order to arouse her and when she only responded with a couple of muffled groans of annoyance he began dispersing soft kisses all over her neck and earlobe in another effort to make her eyes open and maybe convince her to accept his advances. When his hands moved under her tunic to cup her breasts she stretched up to his touch and purred like a kitty, a reaction that lit up his face. "Well, good morning Thorin's hard-on…missed you."

His teeth dag gently on her tender neck. "Wanna fool around?"

"Thought you were still exhausted from yesterday." She smiled.

He pushed against her. "Does this feel exhausted to you?"

Eilin's reply was partly annoyed, partly amused. "No…but I am not awake yet honey…have mercy…"

"I can wake you up." He promised and began dispersing soft kisses on her back that send waves of goosebumps all over her body. Then he turned her around and licked every inch of her perfect breasts. Afterwards he directed his attentions to her stomach and lower belly and his torment had been so sensually delicate, so detailed and so unhurried, that when his warm breath caressed her core she was already awake and more aroused than he had ever anticipated. When he opened his mouth and his tongue got buried between her folds, Eilin had already forgotten all her need to sleep. Her fingers tunneled through his hair and almost tore them off from the roots in her desperate need to have his mouth in her most intimate place. "Mmmm…dripping wet…." His voice vibrated on her insides and made her breath catch.

"You are insufferable…I only wanted to sleep you know…" She squirmed searching for his touch.

He stopped and looked up at her. "I can stop anytime."

Her face grew red-hot. "Don't you dare!" She warned.

He climbed up her body with a smug smile and before she had the opportunity to do anything he turned her in prone position and settled his heavy virility between her buttocks with a deep groan of appreciation. Her hands came up to grab the railing and she gazed back at him through misty eyes. He leaned down and kissed her puffed lips softly and she tasted herself on him. "I like you like this…" He murmured and his strong hands opened up her butt cheeks in order to reveal her dripping womanhood. Then he pushed slowly and he saw her eyelids closing and her fingers twisting around the railings as she prepared to take him in whole.

"It feels so good…" She exhaled and her face warped in ecstasy.

"It feels so right…." He whispered in her ear and her bottom came up to meet his first lazy thrusts.

He kissed her passionately and his tongue twirled around hers with the same rhythm that his hips had set for both of them. They soon became so immersed in the pleasure they were able to offer each other that the world simply disappeared. Even though this morning he was the one controlling the game, it was her cues that he was looking out for. He adjusted his speed and the depth of his thrusts according to the pitch of her voice because he wanted to offer her pleasure more than he wanted to please himself. When she tried to avoid a painfully deep roll of his hips, he took care to slow down and be gentler. When her buttocks were eagerly spreading in order to draw him deeper he obliged by claiming her harder. He got immersed by the look of her face as she was engrossed in the pursuit of her pleasure. When her inner muscles convulsed headily around him, his mind went into an overdrive and his body into a pre-orgasmic euphoria.

When she finally erupted he was in pure heaven…just by hearing her, feeling her and seeing her come undone for him. Eilin's quivers of release made her thighs shake hard under Thorin's assertive lunges that were now meant to serve only his incoming orgasm and she grabbed the iron headboard in order to steady herself. An exhalation of bliss escaped her when she felt him ready to explode and his response were strong fingers twisting in her hair and pulling her head up so his mouth could get buried at the side of her throat. When his teeth devoured her skin her whole body flared up with tremors and she moaned hard, but not loud enough to subdue Thorin's grunt of ecstasy as he spewed inside her depths every single ounce of his love for her. He didn't stop lapping her tender throat and digging his nails on her scalp, overtaken by his primeval need to dominate her as he was touching the ultimate heights….something that thrilled her to the core and she was not shy to speak about it. "I love it when you are like this …"

A rolling moan rippled through his chest as he gave her a few last precious thrusts and then he lay on top of her back, panting heavily. His teeth released her battered skin and his soft lips came into play to worry her with their gentleness instead. "I cannot keep my hands off of you. You are driving me crazy." He admitted in defeat.

Her fingers came back to claw his strong buttocks that were still laboring over her. "I noticed…." She smiled blissfully.

"Do you hate me for it?" He kissed her nape and propped his forehead on her cheek.

"I love you for it." -She cooed and pushed him back in order to turn around. She cradled him between her legs and admired his handsome face - "I have missed you so much."

"Me too…" -He flicked his brow and rubbed his nose over hers- "You have no idea how many times I have taken you like this in my dreams."

"And you are trying to make up for each and every dream I suppose?" She pecked his lips gently.

He pushed between her legs with a groan of pleasure. "Oh, you bet I am. I won't stop until I make all of them come true." He smiled contentedly.

She chuckled. "Then I suggest we go back to Erebor, get buried in our bedroom, leave the children with Dis and not come out until you have fulfilled all your suppressed fantasies."

He laughed and kissed her cheek. "Alright."

Her fingers entwined through his long hair. "And fulfill my nasty little fantasies also…"

He beamed down at her. "I have a better offer for you Madame."

"This room perchance? I am coming to believe that it excites you to imagine pretty Elven maidens listening in on our wild coupling…" She scratched his ribcage.

He moaned lightly and pecked her lips. "As tempting as it is for me to imagine a beautiful Elven maiden playing with herself when she hears in on us…"

Eilin scowled at that and pinched him hard. "Hey!"

He trapped her hand next to her head. "My offer is even more tempting than the Elven Realm."

"Now I am really curious." She frowned.

"How about a small getaway trip. Away from everything and everyone." He smiled.

Eilin's eyes lit up. "Getaway trip? Where?"

"I was thinking of a quiet little village west of the Misty Mountains, filled with discreet people who mind their tomatoes and tatters and their pretty little lake, which is full of tasty fish?" His brow arched.

"Hobbiton?! Bilbo!?" She inhaled sharply in that prospect.

"If you like, I can arrange for us to leave the moment we return to Erebor. I need some time away and so do you. The children are going to love it. Fili and Dain will take over the ruling of the Mountain and I will have time to recuperate beside my family." He tilted his head.

Eilin screeched and wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him down. "I would love that! Can we do it?! Can we?! Can we please!?" She tittered with an enthusiasm that quickly passed on to him.

"I will arrange everything. You just lay on your back and enjoy." He kissed her nose.

She drew back and her eyes grew wide. "Can we take Dis and Loa with us so they can take care of the children? Else we will never have time to rest….and…well…." She blushed.

"And?" He drawled and stoked her cheek with his thumb.

She pulled him down until her lips brushed his earlobe. "And fuck each other's brains out…." She whispered.

His laugh vibrated through her lungs. "You bet…" His mouth planed up her jawline, found her mouth and got ready to offer her a deep kiss that held in it hot promises of more fun, when the door knocked and made them both look up bothered.

"Damn…not now…" She grumbled and her head fell back to the pillow dejected.

"We don't have to open." He arched his brow.

"Then we have to be quiet, because they are going to hear us!" She giggled.

He snorted and hid his face on the crook of her neck.

"Eilin?! Are you guys in?!" It was Rhiannon.

Thorin burrowed his finger under her armpit and began tickling her. Eilin muffled her screeches in his thick mane. "Stop it! Stop it right this minute!" She warned.

"Hush…they are going to hear us…" He repeated her warning playfully and began tickling her in all earnest.

"STOP!" Eilin tried to kick him off.

"I can hear you in there people! Open the damn door we have an emergency! Lord Durin is missing along with young Celebriel and her father Elrohir is raising hell! We are in big trouble!" Rhiannon's voice came to flatten their playfully sensual mood.

They both looked towards the door confused.

"Did she just say Durin is missing?" Eilin croaked.

Thorin pulled up at the exact moment she pushed him away. "Along with Celebriel." He said and rushed to get dressed.

"I swear that kid will never allow us a moment of peace." -Eilin spat and dressed also, but she was much quicker so when she opened the door Thorin pulled his tunic over his crotch as he didn’t have enough time to secure his trousers- "What did you just say?!" Eilin asked.

Rhiannon took a look at Eilin's wild hair and at the King's tries to hide himself and she pursed her lips. "Both kids are missing and Lord Elrond's son demands to talk with the King." She rejoined.

"How the hell did that happen?" Eilin frowned.

"Well, apparently the little weasels snuck out when I was asleep. I am sorry Eilin. I didn't mean to lose them and cause so much trouble." Rhiannon looked at the verge of tears upon those words.

Thorin who in the meantime had managed to dress pushed his wife and Rhiannon aside. "It is not your fault. Durin keeps getting himself in trouble and this time he involved the daughter of a very important member of the Elven Realm. I don't know how I am going to settle this with the girl's father. We are not in good terms."

"Everybody is searching for them." Rhiannon followed his long strides and so did Eilin.

"Pray I don't find them first!" Thorin's azure eyes bore an ire that Eilin instantly recognized.

She hurried and grasped his forearm feeling utterly bewildered at how they both went from feeling so blissful to being utterly stunned. "Don't yell at him, please." The mother in her tried to desperately protect her boy.

Thorin gave her a gaze of caution. "You go with Rhiannon. I will try to find Balin and Dwalin."

She nodded after a brief wave of uncertainty and then followed her best friend.

* * *

 

"Well, well what a surprise…" Aragorn leaned against the wall with a look of relief.

Arwen smiled widely. "They are so cute."

"If you consider Elrohir and the King of the North have turned the whole realm upside down in order to find them and are right now upon each other's throat about who's to blame for this mess, then I'd say they aren't so cute…no." Aragorn pursed his lips and looked down at the kids.

They were still sleeping hidden behind the barrel stack. Celebriel had rolled down in Durin's lap and he had wrapped his arms around her protectively while his head was propped against hers.

"Still they are so adorable." Arwen's face lit up.

Aragorn sighed in annoyance. "Can you please go find someone and inform them that we found the missing rascals? I will wake them up."

Arwen nodded. "I hope I find King Thorin before my brother. He is much more agreeable."

Aragorn observed her for a couple of moments as her airy figure ran towards the stairs. "Everybody will be more agreeable than Elrohir at this particular moment." -He muttered and knelt next to the children. He caught the Dwarfling's shoulder and shook him gently- "Master Durin, wake up."

He didn't even budge.

Aragorn tried Celebriel next. "Come on young lady. Wake up before your dad comes here and destroys all of us with his untamed wrath."

No response from her either.

Aragorn pursed his lips and shook the young man harder. "Lord Durin, wake up!" He yelled.

Durin's eyes fluttered and he looked up dazed. "What?"

Celebriel stirred next to him.

Aragorn pursed his lip. "We have a big problem."

Durin's eyes shot open when he realized where he was and with whom. "How did you find us?!"

Celebriel seemed oblivious, as she stretched and yawned next to him. "Who found us?" She asked.

Durin pushed her away with a frown of disapproval. "The Ranger. Wake up you silly goose we are not alone."

Aragorn raised his brow solemnly. "I was just lucky to look behind this barrel stack. Your father little lady came down here three times already and didn't see you."

"My dad?!" Celebriel's eyes flew open and she stood up quickly.

"Elrohir is out looking for you since the King's maiden found you kids were missing from your beds. Actually the whole realm has been searching for you." Aragorn wiped her silvery dress from the dust and arranged her hair delicately behind her pointy ears.

"Oh, he is going to kill me." Celebriel quivered at the thought of her father knowing that she sneaked out during the night. He was very protective and immensely austere when it came to her misbehaving.

"What about my dad? Does he know?" Durin asked nervously.

"Both your mom and your dad know." Aragorn raised his brow.

"Shit! I am as good as dead." Durin closed his eyes dejected.

"I am as good as dead first." Celebriel was honestly upset.

"Why didn't you stay in your rooms? Why did you have to come down here in the first place?" Aragorn frowned.

Celebriel and Durin exchanged a very eloquent look. "We couldn't sleep." Celebriel hurried.

"And we wanted to see the most historic places of the Realm." Durin added.

"And then he got wounded by mistake and I healed him." Celebriel showed Durin's mangled hand.

"And we sat on the floor and talked a bit and she fell asleep." Durin pointed at her.

"And he fell asleep too and that's it." Celebriel reciprocated.

Aragorn cradled Durin's hand in his palm. "That looks nasty. What happened to you?"

"Uh…trapped it between two barrels. I was trying to look what they had inside." Durin mumbled.

"He is very clumsy. Classic Dwarf really." Celebriel chimed in.

"Hey!" Durin glowered at her.

She shrugged with a timid smile.

"That might need to be wrapped up. Does it hurt you?" Aragorn pressed his knuckles gently.

"Not really…" –Durin frowned and then his head shot up in a panic when he heard the deep voice of his father coming from the steps- "Damn! Hide me…hide me!" He pulled his hand away and tried to hide behind Aragorn.

Celebriel did the same and Aragorn looked above his shoulder with a smile. "You just gave your parents the scare of a lifetime. Come forth and face the consequences."

"No way in hell!" Durin snapped and grabbed Aragorn's tunic, lifted it up and got buried under it.

Celebriel did the same so when Eilin stepped at the landing and Thorin followed with Balin, they found Aragorn standing with a silly smile on his face in the middle of the cellar, with two pairs of tiny legs behind his own, looking like a hunchback.

Eilin dashed behind Aragorn and pulled Durin and Celebriel. "Oh, heavens you are both alright…" -She embraced both with equal ardor, but Durin's eyes sought out his father who stood a few steps away with his arms crossed looking at him sternly. His stomach dropped-"Why did you leave Rhiannon's apartments? What in the name of Mahal got in you children?" Eilin cleared some black ringlets from Durin's forehead and started pampering him with kisses.

"Mom, enough. I am alright!" Durin cringed and tried to get released, but his mom wouldn't have it.

"Don't you dare take that imposing tone with me when you have done goofed young man! Enough is enough! I thought you were in mortal danger! I almost lost your father the previous week and you went and did this to me? Have you no heart?! You gave me the scare of a lifetime! Don't you dare go missing like that ever again, do you hear me!?" -Eilin shouted at his face angrily, but at the same time she couldn't stop grooming him. Then she pulled Celebriel in for a tight hug and more kisses- "As for you my little beauty. What did this brusque boy did to you? Did he drag you out of bed in one of his tomfooleries? Are you alright my little darling? Are you hurt anywhere? I am going to make sure he gets punished don't you worry! Your father entrusted your safety to us and look what happened. I don't have the courage to face Lord Elrohir after this. We must ask for his forgiveness promptly." -Eilin stopped her nervous priming of Celebriel to looked back at the grave face of her husband- "Right honey?" She asked for affirmation.

Thorin pursed his lips but remained silent.

Eilin turned her attention to Durin again. "Why did you come here? Why didn't you stay in your rooms? What in the name of heaven were you thinking by dragging this precious gem in this cobweb filled cellar Durin?!" She snapped and jerked him hard.

Durin pressed his lips. "Mom, I didn't drag her anywhere."

"My Lady, I wanted to go with him." Celebriel touched Eilin's forearm.

Eilin gazed at her. "Whatever for my children?"

Durin looked at his bruised hand and then at his father ruefully. "I wanted to tell her about the story of dad's getaway from the realm ten years ago. The famous barrel ride, you know?"

Thorin's brow creased.

"I wanted to show her where that took place and we tried to recreate it just for fun." Durin lowered his head sadly.

Eilin caressed his forehead. "Oh, my boy. You wished to talk about daddy's bravery?"

Durin nodded.

"I have read all the history of King Thorin mam. I wanted to see how they managed to escape and I convinced Durin to come down here. He was very reluctant to do so. If there is someone that needs to be punished that is me." Celebriel sniffled and looked at her hands.

Eilin drew her in for a tight hug. "No one is going to punish anyone my love. So it was just curiosity that got you in trouble?"

Celebriel nodded and wiped a few tears from her cheeks. "I admire King Thorin's history so much and Durin is so willing to talk to me about it."

"It's not Cel's fault. Don't listen to her. The idea was mine mom." Durin puffed up proudly.

"Then it is you who must be punished and thoroughly!" A stern voice came from the landing and they all turned to see Elrohir who stood there haughtily.

Celebriel's eyes grew wide. "Dad, it's not Durin's fault. I wanted to know about the cellar getaway!"

Elrohir walked past Thorin, whose eyes threw daggers at the Elven Lord's back and came for his daughter. "I have been looking for you since the break of dawn and where do I find you? In the company of this …this…scalawag once again."

"Careful." Thorin's rich tones send the first warning.

Elrohir regarded at him fleetingly and then turned to his daughter again. "This obsession you have with the Dwarves is going to get you in a lot of trouble one day young lady and I shall not allow it anymore. Your grandfather was mistaken to allow you at a sleepover with this scoundrel…"

"This is the second warning, there will not be a third." Thorin thundered.

Elrohir turned to him vexed. "Your son, dragged my daughter out of bed in the middle of the night to bring her to this god forsaken place. My daughter was entrusted in your care. Instead of warning me, an apology would have been preferable!"

"He is right honey. Celebriel was in our care…" Eilin tried to soothe down her husband's anger, which was becoming rather noticeable with each passing moment.

"Elrohir, the kids decided to come down here to recreate the famous Dwarven barrel ride. It was neither kids' fault. They were just having some innocent fun. No one is to blame. Calm down." Aragorn decided to chime in.

Elrohir pointed at him. "I will not get into a debate with you too. I want an apology from this boy's father instantly or else…"

"Or else what?" Thorin thrust his chin upwards.

"This will not be the end of it." Elrohir warned.

Durin released himself from his mom's clutched and run to his father. "Dad, apologize please. I don't want Celebriel to be grounded or to be forbidden to see me again." He begged.

"Which will most certainly happen. The company of this boy is not good for my daughter." Elrohir crossed his arms.

Celebriel moved towards him in tears. "No dad! Durin is my friend! You can't do this to us!"

"My decision is irrevocable. You are grounded from seeing this boy until we leave for Rivendell." Elrohir rejoined haughtily and didn't reciprocate his daughter's hug.

Durin pulled his father's tunic. "Dad don't let him do that! It is unfair." His face was streaming with tears.

"You are breaking their hearts for nothing, please. If my husband will not do it, I will do it for him. Please forgive us for not being careful enough with the care of your daughter, but neither me, nor my husband, or our loyal maiden thought they would sneak out in the middle of the night. You are a father, you know how curious and playful children can become. You mean to tell me that had we allowed Durin to sleep in your house, you would have been able to stop them from sneaking out?" Eilin stepped forth.

Elrohir pressed his lips. "I would have done a better job at protecting them than your kin, which is known for raising their children like little rogues."

"Calling the rebirth of Durin the Deathless names repeatedly is not proving the wisdom of your kin." Balin interposed.

"Neither is your inability to contain your children better." Elrohir spat vehemently.

Eilin continued. "I ask for your forgiveness, but with it I also ask your understanding. The kids partook in a silly escapade, nothing more. Don't deny them the opportunity to be friends. Don't punish them so harshly. Let me try to make up for this in any manner you might see fitting."

"Eilin enough!" Thorin's voice echoed like a whip in the room.

"Dad please…it was not Celebriel's fault." Durin hid his teary face on his dad's stomach.

Thorin embraced him warmly. "Hush my boy." His eyes threw the very fires of Mordor at Elrohir.

"Your apology is accepted, but I will not allow my daughter to see your son again. That is my final decision." Elrohir's face was hard and his words relentless.

"No daddy noooo, please!" Celebriel bellowed and then kicked her father and run to Arwen who had just arrived.

"You are so heartless." Eilin frowned.

"You wanna know heartless? I've lost my wife to the wrath of Orcs. I do not intend to lose my daughter to the recklessness of Dwarves!" Elrohir spat.

"You are acting unwisely and you are rather impolite both to my wife and to my son. I'd be careful if I was you." Even though Thorin's tone was quiet it grabbed everyone's attention.

Elrohir’s face turned sour.

"Hush my love." Arwen swept the crying Celebriel in her arms and rocked her gently. Her eyes looked disapprovingly at her older brother. "What do you think you are doing?" She asked him.

"You think I am unwise by forbidding my daughter to keep company with a boy that puts her repeatedly in danger? First the risky trips to Dol Guldur and then this." Elrohir's eyes thinned on Thorin.

Thorin swept Durin in his arms and walked over to Elrohir. "You think by forbidding them to meet you will manage to keep them safe? Are you that stupid?"

Elrohir frowned and tensed, but Thorin didn't give him the opportunity to continue.

"You will only make them want to see each other more…in secret. They will sneak out more frequently and they will become even more devious in their need to meet just because you have prohibited it. My wife has already offered our apology for not taking better care of your daughter. Now I will repeat the question my wife made you." Thorin's voice was calm, but assertive.

"What question?" Elrohir crossed his arms.

"Would you have done a better job at stopping them from sneaking out?" Thorin arched his brow.

"Of course." Elrohir smirked with a self-certainty that rubbed everyone the wrong way.

"No you wouldn't have." Arwen's voice made them all turn to her. Her fingers stroked Celebriel's silver hair tenderly as her small body shook uncontrollably.

"What are you talking about?" Her brother's glare was heavy, but Arwen didn't relent.

"Look at what you are doing to your poor little girl. She is shaking to the core. Your punishment is way too heavy for their crime. You have been unable to stop Celebriel from sneaking away from Thranduil’s Realm repeatedly before and also in Rivendell. Why do you want to act so superior now?" Arwen's voice was austere.

"This is not the best moment…" Elrohir's composure started wavering.

"Oh, it is the best moment to put things into perspective for you have crossed the line.” Arwen's eyes were stern.

"Dad please don't attack him, don't curse him, and don't do anything that will make him madder. I like Celebriel. I want to be able to see her." Durin was mumbling at his father's ear, unable to stop weeping. His son's emotional break down was possibly the only reason that Thorin hadn't jumped on Elrohir the moment he started insulting their parenthood.

"Not the best moment to remind you that during these past few weeks Celebriel has snuck right from under your nose in order to go to Mirkwood, which is far more dangerous than what she did today with Lord Durin? And no those visits to Dol Guldur were not the fault of Dwarves. You were the one who failed to stop your child, not them." Arwen continued sternly.

"I told him to come down here with me dad! It was not his fault!" Celebriel shouted and her face settled. She wiped her tears away and met her father's eyes bravely.

"No Sir I told her to come with me! It was not her fault!" Durin looked up from his father's shoulder.

"They are trying to protect each other. They are friends. Aren't you feeling emboldened by the knowledge they feel so defensive towards each other? I do…how about you honey?" Eilin asked her husband and caressed Durin's back. She kissed his cheek while her hand slipped up Thorin's shoulder, trying to silently appease him with her presence. She felt the waves of anger escaping him and she was trying to stop him from doing anything that would destroy the already fragile balance.

"Your daughter found a friend she cares strongly enough to protect, without caring if she gets punished. She had a little harmless adventure with him. So what? The Royal couple didn't see them sneaking out. So what? Did you do a better job than them since we came to the Elven Realm?" Arwen continued calmly, but her voice had an undertone of caution.

"She's right. She got away from you several times over. Celebriel is a wild spirit, difficult to contain." Aragorn told his friend.

Elrohir looked at him long and hard. "And keeping company with that young lawbreaker is doing her a world of good. Right?"

"Take it easy with the name-dropping." Thorin's jawline clenched.

Eilin pressed his shoulder-blade and nudged his temple with her forehead. "Calm down honey."

"Daddy no, please." Durin sniffled from the crook of his neck.

Elrohir humphed and looked away haughtily.

"Is it so difficult for you to admit to your own failures? Is it easier to blame them?" Arwen's eyes seared into her brother's.

"Not to mention that you have become highly offensive towards the King of the North and his family, which will not be taken lightly by Erebor, I assure you. Lord Elrond shall hear from the Seven Lords about this." Balin said gravely.

"I want to see Durin again! Tell dad to stop auntie!" Celebriel howled and buried her face in Arwen's shoulder.

"You will see him my baby. I promise." Arwen consoled her with a tender kiss on her temple.

"They lost my daughter." Elrohir pointed at the royal couple.

"I lost them not their Majesties!" Rhiannon interposed.

"Now you stay out of it Rhia!" Eilin chastised.

"Isn't she your maiden? You gave her the responsibility of my child! Therefore you are responsible, not her." Elrohir spat towards Eilin.

Thorin closed his eyes and his nose flared. Eilin felt it and tightened her fingers upon his shoulder-blade. "No, Thorin." She whispered.

"You never answered to me! Did you do a better job stopping Celebriel from sneaking out of your bedroom several times over, my mighty brother?" Arwen poked.

"My inability to control her doesn't excuse their failure to protect her!" Elrohir barked.

"Protect her from what?!" Arwen rebuked.

"I think that is more than enough." Balin interrupted.

"It is not enough for me. This is not the end of it. You will never see that boy again Celebriel and that is final!" Elrohir said and made a move to take Celebriel from Arwen's arms.

"Noooo!" Celebriel kicked her father away.

"Enough!" Thorin's deep voice echoed like a whip in the cellar.

Everyone froze in place and Durin gripped his tunic tightly, trembling.

Thorin turned to Elrohir. "You may be this girl's father, but if I see you mistreating her in any manner I will make you regret the day you were born."

Elrohir scowled. "How dare you…"

"Silence your insolent mouth. I have heard and seen enough from you." Came the quiet command.

Elrohir's face twisted in anger but he remained quiet.

"My wife was polite enough to offer you our apologies for not taking proper care of your beautiful daughter many times over. I will not be as polite to offer them again. You will take her honest word at face value and believe that we never meant to endanger your child in any manner. We have three children of our own and we understand the fear every parent has for their kids. Our child went missing alongside yours and we were equally nervous to find them…" Thorin's brow arched.

Eilin drew back and allowed him to approach Elrohir, who didn't say a word.

"I am not here to judge how incapable you were in previous occasions to contain the wild spirit of your daughter, like your sister has mentioned…" Thorin's lips curled up loftily.

Elrohir opened his mouth to speak, but Thorin raised his hand and stopped him.

"I for one appreciate a child having a rebellious spirit, but I am not here to discuss parenting styles with the Elves for we shall never find common ground. I cannot convince you to change the punishment that you are about to enforce upon your daughter, but I will demand an apology for offering my son several impolite characterizations, which I find rather insulting to the line of Durin and to my family. Unless you want me to start answering formally to the flaunting of your bravado I'd suggest you lower your tone, lower your gaze and apologize for your bad manners." Thorin's deep voice raised the hair on Eilin's back.

"Elrohir, for the name of Eru…This is the King of the North. Your father would have never approved of this behavior." Aragorn raised his brows.

"Brother enough…" Arwen added and caressed Celebriel's golden hair.

Elrohir was shaking from head to toe when he spoke next. "I may have acted somewhat impolitely as the fear for the well-being of my child had overtaken my logic."

Thorin inclined his head slightly. "I shall not punish my son by denying him to continue seeing a friend he seems to like so much, but I will tell him to ask your forgiveness for endangering your daughter."

Durin lifted up his head willingly. "I am sorry I made her come down here with me Sir. Please don't punish her!"

Elrohir's jawline flexed.

Eilin clutched Thorin's forearm and walked in front of him. "My husband may not be willing to try and convince you to change your mind about the friendship of our children, but I will…"

Elrohir frowned.

"I will beg you to reconsider your punishment. Please allow our children to continue their friendship unhindered and let us put this misadventure in the past. Our people and yours have formed a strong alliance during the last ten years. We trade, we train and we make friendships which last. That is what happened to our children. Instead of appreciating the beauty of this youthful camaraderie, we are chastising them so harshly about them acting ….like kids. They are just children….please reconsider." Eilin smiled kindly at Arwen's brother.

Celebriel kicked Arwen and when she was placed down she hurried to her father and clasped his hands. "Daddy don't punish me. I promise I will never sneak away with Durin again. Just please allow me to see him and play with him…please….please….I beg you…."

Elrohir's face softened slightly and he swept her in his arms. "You gave me such a scare I think I lost several years from my life. Why did you do that?"

Celebriel sniffled and leaned her head on his shoulder. "I didn't want to scare you. I just wanted to see the place where the famous barrel ride began, but we couldn't find the lever that is why we got delayed so much and then we got tired and fell asleep." She threw a wary gaze at Durin, who immediately recognized it.

Elrohir closed his eyes and kissed his daughter's forehead. "What lever are you talking about?" His voice sounded slightly more composed. It seemed that both Thorin's assertiveness, Eilin's softness, but above all his sister’s timely intervention had appeased him to some extent.

"We were trying to find the lever that opened the trap door and couldn't. That delayed us a lot, then I hurt myself and Celebriel helped me and then we were so tired we just fell asleep." Durin chimed in quietly, but his eyes were directed straight towards Celebriel.

Thorin rubbed Durin's hurt hand carefully and then kissed his palm.

Celebriel gave Durin an imperceptible nod.

Balin moved past the King. "Of course they couldn't find the lever. It seems like someone build a robust box around it, in order to avoid similar situations from happening again I suppose." He said and showed them a box that was next to a column.

Durin's eyes shined and he gave Celebriel a cunning side-eye that she reciprocated from her father's shoulder. "Who would have known? Right Durin?" She poked just to make sure they were on the same page.

"Yeah…." He nodded and tried to hide his smirk.

Thorin approached the box and looked inside with a frown. "I'll be damned. Is this what you had been looking for son?"

Durin nodded keenly. "We wanted to open the trap door and see the river under it."

"I suppose I have to thank Eru that you didn't find that damned lever. This misadventure could have ended in a real tragedy." Elrohir spat and caressed his daughter's hair.

"She was protected by Durin the Deathless himself. I am sure he wouldn't have ever allowed her to come to any harm." Aragorn gave the dwarfling an honest smile.

"Never Sir!" Durin scowled.

Elrohir walked towards the stairs. “We are leaving. I have heard enough.”

Celebriel grabbed his long black hair and pulled them away from his face. "Will you forbid me from seeing Durin again? Please daddy don't do that. I promise I am going to be good from now on."

"Does the mighty Durin promise the same?" There was a sarcastic undertone in his voice that bothered the King immensely.

Thorin tensed, but Eilin's hand on his bicep instantly calmed him down. "Temper my treasure." She whispered.

Thorin grunted and pressed Durin in his arms.

"I promise Sir." Durin answered with an honesty that Elrohir couldn’t rebuke easily.

Elrohir pursed his lips and didn't answer. He continued climbing the stairs.

"Daddy please!" Celebriel grumbled.

"I will not solve this now with you in front of these people. Stop it!" His father chastised, but before they left Celebriel had enough time to exchange a sneaky smile with Durin who saw and reciprocated.

When they were left alone Eilin pressed her forehead on Thorin's shoulder. "Well, if that wasn't the worst wakeup call ..." She murmured.

"I am sorry I caused so much trouble mom. I never meant to worry you guys." Durin's regretful honesty made Eilin kiss his cheek firmly.

"That man was over-reacting my darling. You and Celebriel didn't do anything wrong." Eilin consoled her boy and checked his hand with a frown.

"You didn't say that in front of him. All you did was restraint me." Thorin rebuked.

"I know how red-blooded you can become when someone messes with our family and I wanted to stop you from making things worse for Durin and his friend." Eilin kissed his bicep.

"The Queen is right. This case needed diplomacy, not your virulence." Balin intervened.

Thorin humphed vexed.

"Thank you for not killing Lord Elrohir dad." Durin kissed Thorin's cheek.

"You do understand that what you did was improper, correct?" Thorin's stern attention turned on his son- “When we are offering our hospitality to a guest, we don't go around compromising their safety just for the fun of it. You could have discussed that famous ride in the confines of your rooms."

"We weren't in danger and we didn't know we would end up sleeping down here. We only wanted to have some fun." Durin's lips pouted and his eyes welled.

Eilin cleared the long ringlets from Durin's nape and gave him a kiss there. "We know you didn't mean any harm my love. Come on honey…give him a break." She eyed her husband pleadingly.

Thorin kissed his son's cheek and butted Durin's temple with his chin. "Between us even though I deeply dislike Elrohir's haughtiness he was not in the wrong. I would have been equally angered had someone lost Durin."

"You almost demolished Dol Guldur in order to protect him. I'd say we wouldn't have been able to contain you, had you been in Elrohir's shoes." Balin crossed his arms with a knowing smile.

Thorin exhaled and closed his eyes as he propped his head on Durin's temple. "No more tomfooleries with the Elfling, alright?"

"No dad, I promise." Durin sniffled.

"No more shenanigans with your siblings either." Thorin warned.

"No…" Durin muttered and kissed his dad's cheek fiercely.

Balin shook his head with a sweet smile.

Thorin exhaled and squeezed Durin in his arms. "Alright…"

"Thank you for trying to keep it civilized, honey." Eilin popped a kiss on Thorin's other cheek, longing to imprison him in a sandwich of affection in order to appease the tension that was still brewing in him.

"I tried." He nudged Eilin's temple with his nose.

Balin smiled. "He tried so hard he probably blew a blood vessel. Amazing what a great difference children can make in even the most proudly stubborn man."

Thorin eyed him annoyed, but Durin's rekindled embrace calmed him down promptly.

"I feel the need to apologize about the aggressiveness of my brother. Deep down he is a good man and a good soldier. He a very close friend with Aragorn and loyal to the bone, but after the death of his wife he is very sensitive towards Celebriel." Arwen sounded regretful.

"He is a great ally to the Northmen and the Rangers and a precious friend indeed, but that doesn't excuse his attitude. I ask you to be lenient towards his rudeness my Lord. I am sure he will rethink the punishment to Celebriel and he will not stop the children from seeing each other." Aragorn pressed his lips sadly.

"Of that I am certain, because my father will intervene my Lord." -Arwen said respectfully to Thorin- "He is much more reasonable and composed than my brother. He will understand that this escapade was just a simple children's game and that we worried in vain."

"Thank you for everything you have done." Eilin went over and clasped Arwen's hand.

Arwen bowed deeply. "We have done nothing more than what is appropriate."

"I think we have done much less than was asked of us originally and for that I bear great guilt." Aragorn searched Thorin's face.

Thorin's brows creased inquisitively.

The Ranger averted his eyes. "You specifically asked me to take care of your son and I failed you. I cannot express my grief about what happened in that forest the night you fell ill."

Thorin sighed and place Durin down. "That night was difficult for all of us. What happened belongs to the past and I will not linger upon it."

Aragorn approached and knelt in front of Durin. "I am sorry young Lord for failing you. I do not see myself kindly when I fail the people who are entrusted to me."

Durin smiled and touched his shoulder. "It's okay Sir. I am fine. My dad is fine too. Nothing happened."

"Like my husband said, please don't linger in the past. We are grateful for everything you have already done for us." Eilin smiled gracefully.

Arwen inclined her head. "You offered us hospitality, a quiet retreat, days made out of dreams that will be difficult to forget. We shall always remember the time we spend with your family."

Aragorn approached Thorin and knelt. "I owe you so much my Lord. I just hope I will find the opportunity to pay you back in full."

Thorin squeezed his shoulder. "You owe me nothing. I shall expect you and Lady Arwen in Erebor for one last visit before you depart for Rivendell. I have something I need to show you."

Aragorn smiled. "We shall follow happily."

Thorin reciprocated. "Very well."

Eilin caressed her son's hair. "Are you still gloomy about what happened my handsome Prince?"

Durin's deeply penetrating eyes found his mother's. "I just feel sad I worried you and dad."

Eilin drew him in for a hug the boy quickly countered. "I have an idea that might fix your mood."

Durin tangled his fingers through Eilin's hair. "What?" He pouted.

"You wanna go and find Nameless with me?" Eilin's grin held a warm promise of good times ahead that made Durin beam, but Thorin scowl.

"When?" Durin clapped, unable to hide his enthusiasm.

"Now…how about it?" Eilin pinched his cheek.

"Yeah! Come I know where he might be!" Durin dragged her towards the stairs with a newfound fervor.

"His name is Urkar." Thorin's eyes were thick with a gloomy tint that only Balin recognized.

They both turned to him surprised.

"What?" Durin eyes grew wide.

Thorin's smile was visibly uncomfortable. "Nameless…his name is Urkar."

Eilin's smile was unreserved and not even close to suspicious. "Then let us go find master Urkar, okay?" She tagged Durin's hand.

Durin jumped enthusiastically. "Yeah!"

Eilin followed her son up the stairs with a light-hearted laugh without noticing the gloomy countenance of her husband.

Thorin's eyes turned heavily to Balin. "Follow her."

Balin inclined his head and left without a word.

Thorin kept observing the shadows of his wife and son, which danced upon the walls by the orange hue of the wall lanterns for several moments, before remembering that he was not alone. He turned towards the Ranger. "What are you two still doing here? I am sure a young couple that looks so much in love has better things to do than keep company to an old Dwarf, right?" The cute hairpin at the side of his mouth curled up.

Arwen's cheeks adorned two deep red spots and she took Aragorn’s hand tenderly in hers.

"Go. This day offered all of us a rather vicious wake up, let the remaining moments roll by quietly. I will expect you to follow us to Erebor, when we leave. I shall speak with Lord Elrond soon." Thorin crossed his hands behind his back.

Aragorn bowed and Arwen curtsied. "With pleasure your Majesty."

Thorin turned around and looked at the stashed barrels somberly. He heard their soft footsteps fading away and soon he was left alone with his thoughts. He sighed and observed the closed trap door as a wistful surge of memories flooded him for a split moment. He looked at the hidden lever with a crafty smile and shook his head at Durin's definitive talent to lure this young Elfling into his usual mischiefs so successfully. Then his smile softened when he thought of Eilin's ultimate ability to pacify him down during the most difficult situations.

Eilin…the gorgeous woman who had dedicated her life to him, the gentle soul who had branded her body with his name…the love of his life, who was on her way to meet her father for the first time.

Thorin's countenance took a sudden plunge into darkness. He uncrossed his arms and marched out of the cellar with a steady military step that echoed formidably in the enclosed environment.

 


	29. Family reunion(s)

"Nameless!" Durar released Eilin's hand and run up to his friend.

Eilin followed quietly, picking up her airy dress so as not to get it caught at the small bushes around them. They had been walking off the path for a several moments before catching up with the man she had been longing to meet ever since her husband fell ill.

Othin's heart skipped a beat when he heard his grandson's voice. He turned around with a handful of beautiful colored feathers ready to surprise him with his find when his eyes met with the Queen. He inhaled sharply and felt every single layer of his soul tearing apart.

Eilin scowled and rushed to steady the old Dwarf when she understood that he was about to faint. "Are you alright, sir?"

Othin couldn't get a grip on his surroundings. "Yes, uh…th-ank you."

Durin frowned and followed Othin as Eilin led him close to the fountain. "You don't look so good."

Othin's knees unlocked and he emptied himself at a pew. He opened his mouth to reassure Durin that he was alright, but just feeling the overpowering presence of his daughter next to him was enough to rob him off any logical reasoning. His eyes looked around hurriedly searching for the inevitable presence of the King. It was impossible that Thorin would have allowed his wife to speak to her father without being there, especially after their short but very vicious confrontation. His brows met uncomfortably when he failed to see him.

"Master Urkar, are you alright?" Eilin repeated and tried to find his eyes.

"The King?" He muttered.

"My husband had other business to attend to. Am I not good enough to take his place?" Eilin smiled kindly.

Othin closed his eyes and felt dizzy from hyperventilating. "No of course not Madame…that is not what I meant…I mean that is not why I asked…I me-an…." He stumbled. Did the King truly allow him a few precious private moments alone with his long lost daughter? Was that even remotely possible? Did he even want it to be a possibility? He didn't know at that moment what terrified him more. The quiet absence of the mighty King or the imposing presence of his daughter?

"Are you alright? You seem a little bit out of sorts." Eilin rejoined.

"I am y-es...your Highness." His voice was a little more than an exhalation.

Eilin sat next to him and her eyes fell on the red finger marks around his neck. She frowned. "What are these my good man? What happened to you?" She made to touch them.

Othin pulled back and used his long grey hair to cover his throat. "Just an accident."

"Accident? That looks as if someone tried to choke you." Eilin's eyes returned to his face.

"It was a justified outburst from an honorable man who wished for nothing more than to protect his family. He had every right to punish me. There nothing to it your Highness." Othin turned his eyes at the feathers he held in his hands and knew that his heart would give at any moment.

"This man's family was in danger from you then?" Eilin's voice became cautious.

"No…never!" Othin's eyes filled with unbidden tears and he found it hard to stop his lips from quivering.

Eilin's face formed a confused side-smile. "I have only just met you master Urkar and you are full of riddles."

Othin swallowed a very dry throat and felt his teeth clattering from the sheer shock of sitting next to his child. He gave a fleeting glimpse at Eilin and his heart howled in agony. "Your Highness…" He whispered in breathless anticipation.

Eilin patted his shoulder. "Durin and I seem to have taken you by surprise. Forgive us."

"Your Majesty, it is a great ho-nor to meet you. I am just in such dis-belief that we are actually talking. I can-not wrap my mi-nd around it." Othin stammered. He hunched over respectfully and touched his heart as more tears sprang from his eyes unbidden.

"It was a meeting long due. I have heard so much about you. I needed to shake your hand and offer you my gratitude." Eilin beamed and offered him said hand.

Othin observed her porcelain skin and her long fingers for several tense moments. He thought he would be unable to lift his hand and take hers, but his body had different ideas. He reached out and clutched it so tightly that Eilin yelped surprised. Then he crushed it upon his mouth and kissed it with a fervor that didn't leave the Queen unaffected. "You don't have to tha-nk me." He broke.

Eilin drew her hand slowly and two red spots blossomed on her cheeks. "You saved my children and you protected them when they were close to those damned ruins. I think I have a lot to thank you for."

"It was my pleasure to do so." Othin murmured.

"Weird choice of words master. Anyone else would have chosen to say –my obligation- for the King's children." Eilin said insightfully.

"I will insist on pleasure, my Lady." Othin looked away nervously.

"You seem to like them so much." Eilin observed him carefully.

"Your children are a true blessing. All of them. They can make a smile flourish even to the sourest face." Othin faltered.

Eilin's countenance lit up. "That is so true though, isn't it? Even for this grumpy young man." She nodded towards her son.

Durin who was playing with the feathers in Othin's hand decided to intervene. "Mom…you are embarrassing me again."

"Because I agree with this very polite man about the happiness you can bring to other people?" Eilin raised her brows.

Durin rolled his eyes and sighed, deciding not to honor her with a rebuke.

"I know this is our first meeting master Urkar, but your face holds a vague familiarity that spreads warmth in my heart for some reason. I have seen you before…I believe." Eilin's brow creased.

"It's because you have the same eyes mom." Durin said nonchalantly.

Othin looked away and hid his face behind his hair.

Eilin smiled kindly. "Green eyed people are not only the rarest, but I like to think they are also the kindest souls. Have I met you before master Urkar?"

Othin felt his stomach twisting around and wave of nausea overtook him. "I have been in your presence before your Majesty. Very briefly."

Eilin's gaze jumped around the side of his face as she tried to remember. "Have you indeed?"

"I ask-ed the King for a job sev-eral months ago." He paused.

The dawn of recognition slowly appeared upon Eilin's countenance. "I think I remember. Yes. Didn't Thorin accept your request?"

"Y-es."

"But then you disappeared out of the blue and never returned to Erebor."

"Yes." Othin whispered.

"Yet you remained in Mirkwood?" Eilin rejoined.

"Y-es." Othin stumbled.

Eilin pressed her lips. "Why did you decline the offer for a job?"

"I realized that it had been a great mistake of me to ask for the hospitality of our great King when I was not worthy of owning either a home or a job." Othin wiped a tear that rolled down his nose quickly.

Eilin clasped his shoulder. "That sounds like serious self-punishment my good man."

Othin nodded. "I have done some despicable things in the past. I have no right to stain Erebor's holly caverns with my presence."

Eilin's countenance took a plunge. "That sounds alarmingly serious."

Othin's whole body shuddered and she felt it.

"Your words would have troubled me had I not been certain that my husband -who also revealed to us your real name- has already confirmed that your background is not as dismal as you are describing. In any other case he would have forbidden Durin to keep you company." Eilin's smile was reserved, but her hand was steady on his shoulder.

"The King is immeasurably judicious. May Mahal bless him." Othin bowed deeply and he had to refrain from rubbing the King's fingermarks on his throat.

Eilin's mouth formed a satisfied smile. "Did you talk with him long?"

"No, my Lady." Othin tried to glimpse at her beautiful face that resembled his so much.

"Did he perchance offer you a job and a home as the least gratitude for helping our family? If he hasn't then I will." Eilin rejoined.

"He has." Othin felt almost out of breath.

"Did you accept?" Durin intervened.

"Y-es." He muttered.

"Where are you going to work?!" Durin clapped.

"The armory….making arrows." Othin's first smile blossomed when he looked at his grandson. It was so much easier to talk to his daughter's son …than her. With her it was so hard…so excruciatingly painful.

Durin clapped. "You will be perfect at that. Will you come home with us then?"

Othin nodded. "I believe so."

"You won't return to Mirkwood anymore?" Durin stood up on the rim of the fountain and began jumping around happily.

"No." Othin frowned.

Eilin's countenance brightened. "No more lingering in this forest then."

"No…" He lowered his eyes apprehensively.

Eilin looked at her son. "I am so pleased that you accepted. You seem to be so good with children. Durin is absolutely hooked on you."

"MOM!" Durin hollered.

She waved him off. "I am just telling master Urkar the truth. Calm down."

"You are always saying things about me that you shouldn't!" Durin crossed his arms with a feisty pout.

"He hates when I make him sound too soft or too emotional. He must upkeep the commanding roughness of his father you see, without realizing that he is still a young boy at heart." Eilin smiled proudly at her son.

Durin's pout became even more prominent and his penetrating blue eyes almost burned through hers…

She didn't seem affected at all. "Don't use that glare at me son. I've learned how to hold the tempest that hides in your father's eyes. I can sure hold yours."

Durin looked away with an indignant humph. "For now!"

Eilin's lips curled up sweetly. "For now…." She agreed.

Durin didn't honor her with another look.

"Even though I must admit that my youngest son Thrárin seems to be much more addicted to you than Durin. Okay baby? Did I fix things now?" She said teasingly and bit her lower lip.

Othin found himself unwillingly smiling at how well she was handling her boy.

Durin on the other hand looked as if he was slowly boiling in oil.

Eilin raised her brow at Durin playfully and then turned her attentions to Othin. "I hope back in Erebor you will find some time between your other obligations to see my children as they seem to enjoy your company a lot. We have a lot of caregivers for them, but with you they seem to have such a good time."

"I can be a caregiver for them too!" -Othin hurried to reply with an eagerness that made Eilin grin. Then when he realized he overdid it, he looked at his hands and nodded- "I mean if you like…I mean without payment, just for the honor to be able to see them…I mean if the young Royals are available and willing. I me-an…you don't know me, but I will do whatever I can to show you my loyalty, my Lady…"

"Thrárin and I would love to have you as our caregiver. I am not sure my dad would agree though or that Rhianaye would like that, but who cares about her?" Durin smirked smugly.

"Attitude young man…." Eilin raised her finger.

Durin's shoulders slouched and he rolled his eyes again. "Oh, come on."

"Correct your insolence!" Eilin's brow arched austerely.

"Rhianaye isn't here mom. She didn't even hear me." Durin flayed his arms in frustration.

"You don't talk like this about your sister even in her absence. You respect your siblings and expect them to respect you too. Now fix your attitude." Eilin commanded steadily.

Durin closed his eyes. "I am sorry mom. I won't do it again."

Eilin inclined her head. "Very well. Now to get back to you master Urkar…."

Othin gazed at her quickly and then averted his eyes. "My Lady…" He muttered.

"I have to discuss this caregiver idea with my husband first. However you seem so good with children…" Eilin rejoined.

"Th-ank you, my Lady." He replied quietly.

"Did you have many dealings with children in your life?"

"No…I was a …" –He stumbled for words- "…A warrior you see…a vagabond…never had a real home. The way I was living was not fit for a child…" –He stopped and looked up at her terrified- "…Not my child I mean…any child…you understand."

"You find it very hard to talk about this. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable." Eilin scowled.

Othin clenched his fists silently. "You have to learn things about me, my Lady. How else will you be able to trust me around your children?"

Eilin hesitated. "That is true. How old are you if you don't mind me asking?"

"Three hundred and fifty." Othin said with a faded smile.

"In Dwarfish years you are still young, yet you look long-suffering."

"My life hadn't been easy my Lady." Othin looked at the feathers and felt a fresh welling on his chest.

"Have you ever been married or had any children of your own?" Eilin's attention was wholly on him.

Othin fiddled with the feathers for several moments. "I…eh…I have a daughter."

Eilin smiled pleased. "A daughter? That is so wonderful…" –She then hesitated and a shadow covered her brow- "Yet you said your life was not fit for children."

Othin cleared his throat and felt his chest suffocating. A few tears rolled down his long nose. "I…didn't get to know my daughter all that well." He faltered.

"Because of the rough life of a warrior?" Eilin was observing him with so much interest.

He shook his head. "My relationship with her mom didn't turn out good."

"A separation then?" Eilin's beautiful face clouded.

"An unwilling one on my behalf. The mother left one evening without any warning with my daughter when she was but a mere baby. When I managed to find her several moons later she revealed to me the child was dead." His lips quivered.

Eilin's countenance took a plunge. "Oh my heaven's that is awful. Losing a child…I cannot even imagine it."

"My daughter wasn't dead, my Lady. That was a lie of her mother." Othin hurried on, needing to speak these words before his throat closed down forever.

"Oh, you poor thing. Look at you. You are trembling." Eilin rubbed his back.

Othin's face blanched.

Eilin pressed her lips. "I shouldn't have probed you so much. What you are telling me is very painful."

Othin took several moments to regulate his breaths in order to speak again. "No, you need to know…I mean…if I am to be close to your children…you need to know a few things."

Eilin nodded softly. "Very well."

Othin had to force the words out of his mouth. "Her mother -bless her soul- was a woman who worked in a profession that didn't have any place for sentimentalism…nor a family. I was in love, she wasn't. We were gifted a child out of marriage and at first she seemed willing to settle down, but when a highest bidder offered her the gold I couldn't, she decided to abandon me. She said I was not good enough to provide for her and the child….that I was useless….and she was right."

"So you lost your daughter? That is a fate worse than death." Eilin's eyes glimmered with the ghosts of tears.

"It is a fate I don't wish to any parent." Othin covered his mouth in order to mute a groan of anguish.

Eilin pressed his shoulder. "It was so unfair of the mother to treat both you and your daughter this way."

"No, don't blame the dead my Lady. Evelyn was not a bad woman, simply misguided. It is the man's will that can hold a broken family together and I was not strong enough to do it. Maybe if I had more gold, a better position. Maybe if I wasn't a Dwarf…." Othin muttered.

"She was not a Dwarrowdam?" Eilin's brows arched.

Othin shook his head. "No Dwarrowdam ever becomes a prostitute, my Lady."

Eilin exhaled defeated and gazed at her son who was playing by the waters with a sad pout on his well-formed lips. "I am so sorry."

Othin gulped audibly. "It wasn't your fault…" He whispered.

"Neither yours from what I hear. Your story touched my heart deeply for you see we have very similar experiences." Eilin tagged him lightly and tried to see his eyes.

Another silent shake of his head and a curtain of hair covered his face.

"Your child was taken away from you and I was given up by my parents." Eilin's voice diminished.

Durin looked up at that and observed his mother closely with renewed sadness in his eyes.

"I am so sor-ry you had to suffer so from the mistakes of other too…my Lady." Othin stuttered and rivers of tears etched his face.

"We were both disappointed by life, right?" Eilin wiped away a few tears and smiled at him sadly.

Othin nodded. "Yes."

Eilin's silence was heavy and long. She finally sighed deeply. "When you learned that your daughter was alive, did you try to find her?"

Othin shook his head. "No."

"Why?" Eilin frowned.

"She had created her own path in life so very successfully. I didn't want to overburden her with my failures. She didn't need to be reminded of what I didn't do for her all these years. She was happy…that was enough for me." Othin wiped the tears from his bearded chin.

Eilin's brows furrowed. "That is not the proper way to think my good man. You don't know how she might feel inside. She might need you…Heaven help me I'd need to see my father and ask him all the questions that had been tormenting me all these years. Does she even know you are alive?"

"No…" Othin shuddered hard.

"You are being unfair to this poor girl…almost as unfair as her mother had been." Eilin's voice was stern.

"I know my Lady, which is why I renounced my name and my rights to a home and a job." Othin nodded quickly.

Eilin pursed her lips and looked at her lap. "Self-punishment indeed, but unfortunately you are also punishing her."

He felt his chest tightening and his lungs unable to draw in breath.

"Does she live in the North?" Eilin gazed at him.

"No…" He stumbled.

"Maybe I can help you find her. That way I will feel better about my own situation." Eilin's smile was bitter.

"No, please heavens…no." Othin frowned and twisted his hands around the feathers so much they cracked.

Eilin noticed. "I am sorry, I shouldn't have pushed you so much about such a private matter. I just relate too much I suppose."

Othin nodded softly. "I understand."

Another long pause. "What do you say that we forget about the past until you are ready to face it once more?" Eilin retuned with a cheerfulness that seemed forced.

Othin averted his eyes and nodded quietly.

"And I will do the same for me. What do you think?" Eilin tagged his shoulder.

Othin's mournful eyes looked up with another imperceptible nod.

"A deal?" Eilin offered her hand.

He looked at it long and hard before clasping it almost in despair. "A deal to leave the past behind until we are ready to face it?" He murmured.

She smiled brightly. "Yes Sir."

He pressed her soft fingers and then drew her hand on his lips. He kissed it with such desperation that Eilin frowned and she felt his tears staining her skin, but didn't pull away. "Yes, I would like that, my Lady…." He whimpered.

"You are a good man master Urkar. Maybe there was a reason you came into our lives." Eilin smiled brightly.

Othin couldn't open his eyes.

"I make a solemn decision to look at the bright side of things and so should you. I am very grateful you were there to save my children. I am deeply appreciative of the time you are taking to get to know them and make them happy and I hope we can provide a safe abode for you." Eilin shook his head vigorously.

Othin cleared his face and inhaled deeply. "I am blissful just to be in your presence your Highness."

"Maybe if you feel worthy enough you will be able to reclaim your daughter….one day." Eilin's eyes sparkled.

Othin looked away.

"And maybe that way I will find some peace myself by helping someone whose suffering equals mine." She added and looked towards her son pensively.

Othin stole a glance towards her and it was overflowing with so much suppressed affection. He was asphyxiating with the words he couldn't speak.

"Look I have a great idea that might fix our moods. Would you and Durin like to help me?" Eilin spoke after a while were no one wanted to disrupt the silence that felt so much safer than words.

"Sure mom. What about?" Durin sounded dejected.

Eilin drew him and placed a soft kiss on his temple. "I want to pick up the best flowers I can find for daddy."

Othin looked up at her and his eyes filled with so much longing that she didn't see.

"For Dad? Why?" Durin frowned, but allowed his mother to pamper him with kisses.

"I want to make him a flower crown." Eilin smiled.

The young Prince drew back eagerly. "Are you guys okay then?" He paused.

Eilin frowned. "We were always okay honey. What are you talking about?"

Durin hesitated. "All those fights?"

"Dad told me you always worry about us like this. Don't my love. We were just having stupid arguments that are so common between a loving couple who stays together for so long. I love your father dearly…never doubt that…and he does too. That is why I want to make a flower crown for him. Just to remind him how much I feel for him." Eilin smiled sweetly at her boy.

That seemed to animate Durin who jumped off the fountain and pulled Othin by the hand. "Will you help me Urkar?"

Othin nodded and wiped his face. "Cert-ainly my boy."

Eilin observed them thoughtfully as they got instantly busy in the field, picking up the most colorful flowers by Durin's command. Her eyes remained solemnly pensive upon Othin for a long time as she thought about this man's grim fate with his child. It took her several moments in order to join their ardent flower hunting.

* * *

 

Thorin was standing rigid as ever at a balcony several floors above them, looking down sternly. Dwalin was next to him with his arms crossed. A silent sentinel to Thorin's emotional and physical ailments since the beginning of time.

"We are not the only ones overlooking them…" Dwalin stated.

"No." The King placed his hands on his thick belt with a scrutinizing frown.

"You send Balin after her?" Dwalin gave him a careful side-glance.

Thorin nodded.

Dwalin sighed. "You should have been down there with her."

"No. This meeting belongs to them. I have no place there." Thorin's voice was thick with emotion.

"So it is enough to observe them from afar?"

"That is what I will always do. Look after her…from afar." Thorin's brow clouded.

Dwalin eyed him. "For someone who almost choked Othin you are acting rather chivalrously right now."

Thorin rested his heavy boot on the lower part of the railing and crossed his arms. "I was unable to control myself when I saw him."

"That was blindingly obvious." Dwalin drawled.

"You don't have to be so snarky." Thorin rebuked.

"Just trying to remind you of the seriousness of what happened." Dwalin spat.

"I am already aware." Thorin snapped back clearly vexed.

"Then why did you act so foolishly with him?" Dwalin returned.

"The moment I saw him I recalled every painful memory, emotional and psychological scar Eilin owns. I remembered every single nightmare, every endless night she was crying in my arms…every single time I had to soothe down the terror in her when she remembered the accursed moment of her rape. When I saw him, I saw her suffering. His face was Eilin's agony. If you knew that someone's past failures had been torturing Loa since birth, robbing her of sleep, of her self-esteem, slashing through her emotions like hot knives… that this man's actions had assisted in the defilement of her womanhood and at her awful living conditions for years on end…if you knew this man was now at Erebor's gates ready to see her what would you have done?" Thorin's eyes darted heavily at him.

Dwalin pressed his lips and looked down.

Thorin gave him a curt nod. "Stop asking why."

Dwalin turned towards the plaza thoughtfully. "Did you offer him the gold in order to humiliate him?"

Thorin's mouth formed a lopsided smile. "That annoyed you."

"As hell." Dwalin's countenance became tight.

"I noticed." Thorin rebuked.

"I can understand you lashing out to the poor guy in your need to protect Eilin, but what you did afterwards with the gold was so beneath you." Dwalin's lips turned down in disgust.

Thorin's lips twisted. "The poor guy?"

Dwalin humphed and looked away.

"I wanted to make sure that he is for real." Thorin added flatly.

Dwalin looked at him abruptly. "So that was not you losing your dignity?"

"You are giving me too little credit." Thorin's upper lip stiffened.

"Well what would you have me think?" Dwalin scowled.

"I needed to see how much gold was enough for him to sell his daughter's soul again to the demons of Morgul." Thorin's countenance was expressionless.

"I understand what you are saying and I feel partly relieved by your words. However I think you have misjudged the poor man." Dwalin leaned his elbow on the railing and scratched the bald patch on his head.

"You think I will allow him close to Eilin without passing him through every torture I can improvise?" Thorin's brow arched.

Dwalin humphed. "If I judge from what you did to Dongar…no."

"Oh, Dongar had it easy." Thorin's eyes glimmered.

"And there I thought you were acting chivalrously before." Dwalin eyed him.

"I will not intervene in his dealings with Eilin or the children, but he will be under close surveillance and he is going to suffer in order to prove his loyalty to me." Thorin's voice dropped low.

"He refused the three chests of gold…" Dwalin offered.

"In order to gain access to a life of plenty next to my wife! You think that is impossible?" Thorin scowled.

Dwalin pursed his lips.

"He has a long way to go to convince me."

"What are you planning for him?" Dwalin turned to him.

"He will be relocated in Erebor, but you personally will make sure his abode is trashed. I want to see him willing to put in an effort in order to fix his home. He will get a job in the armory, but Ísakur will always deal him the worst shifts possible with minimum payment. I will make him go through heaps of humiliation and ridicule by his co-workers and I want to see him sweat in order to gain their respect. I want to verify that he is willing to pass from the mountains of Shadow and struggle through the filth of the plateau of Gorgoroth in order to be close to his daughter and his grandchildren. I will drive it hard on him that he will not enter Erebor to have a life of plenty. Let's see if he feels all that torture is worth the few precious moments next to his child. If he convinces me of that then maybe he might be worth redemption in my eyes." Thorin's voice was harder and more ruthless than his words.

"Yeah, you are about to enter one of your usual torture sprees alright." Dwalin nodded disheartened.

"Do you blame me?" Thorin gazed at him angrily.

"No I don't blame you, but be careful he doesn't keel over and die on you. You don't want Eilin to learn that you tortured her father to death one day, right?" Dwalin raised his brow.

"I am here to protect Eilin. I will not relent until I am convinced of his true intentions, even if that paints me as a cold-hearted bastard in her eyes. She's the only one I am thinking of right now." Thorin replied sternly.

"I know, just be careful. The old man was a formidable warrior once upon a time, but he possibly doesn't have the same stamina now." Dwalin pursed his lips.

"He is not so old." Thorin flared his shoulders.

Dwalin observed him amused for several moments and then chuckled. "Oh, it bothers you that you are close to his age."

"Close? What are you talking about? He is much older than me." Thorin turned to him with murderous eyes.

"Only by a couple of decades." Dwalin poked.

"And that isn't enough? Do me a favor. I could do without all this idiocy…." Thorin pursed his lips in disapproval and then turned his attention at Rhiannon who arrived and began talking with Eilin.

Dwalin looked at Thorin's half-exposed collarbone and pushed the tunic back with his forefinger. "Despite that you are a decomposing corpse in comparison to your wife and very close age-wise to her father, you must be doing one hell of a job if she leaves such marks of affection on you." He noted the bite mark on Thorin's skin.

Thorin wacked his hand away annoyed. "Can you not?"

"What's the deal? You've been locking yourself up with Eilin ever since you woke up." Dwalin continued.

Thorin saw Eilin leaving along with Rhiannon rather quickly and frowned. "The deal is that we finally talked."

"Did you tell her about Siv?" Dwalin lost all his need to tease.

"Yes." Thorin closed his eyes.

"It must have been hard for you." Dwalin scowled.

"Unbearably…" Thorin rejoined.

"So?" Dwalin nudged him

Thorin felt his eyes welling and he rubbed them hard. "The perseverance of Eilin's soul is beyond mundane mortality. She is worth to live alongside the Valar, Dwalin. She does not belong to this earth. I don't know what I have done right to deserve her. She excused all my failings. She forgave me even though I was unable to forgive myself and she embraced all my follies. With the way she treated me after I revealed to her my most shameful deeds, she reminded me that she is the quintessence of compassion, the very representation of love."

Dwalin clasped his shoulder. "Never forget the treasure you have in your hands for it is very rare."

"Not even on my death bed shall I forsaken that." Thorin's eyes grew darker.

"I must admit that I haven't seen you looking so serene in a long time. I am so glad you are finally in such a good place. Your relationship has gone through hell so many times and with every struggle it is becoming stronger." Dwalin remarked.

"I know." Thorin's eyes teared up.

Dwalin pursed his lips and decided to lighten up the mood after allowing Thorin to settle down for a few moments. "Has anybody told you that you can love a person, without rolling in the gutter with them all the time? Especially when you are in a desperate need to recuperate? You look absolutely knackered."

"Forget it. Now that I have her where I want her I won't stop." Thorin's countenance softened.

"Are you at least careful?" Dwalin raised his brows.

"Careful as in counting days?" Thorin pursed his lips.

"Of course."

"Well I am counting, but I am not sure my pretty wife is doing the same." Thorin's lips curled up in a sly smile.

Dwalin frowned.

"She either is not counting or she forgot to mention that these are pretty dangerous days for full loving." Thorin looked at him shrewdly.

"I wouldn't worry. I am sure she was just too caught up in the moment. Besides since you were aware you knew what to do to keep it safe." Dwalin shrugged the whole deal off.

Thorin caressed his beard braid musingly. "I wouldn't take that at face value…."

Dwalin looked at him sharply. "You weren't careful?"

Thorin pressed his lips and shook his head. "Nope…not even close."

Dwalin's mouth dropped open. "You bloody fool! You are always complaining about the troubles of fatherhood and you went and did it again?!"

"No one can be certain of the result. Calm down." Thorin frowned.

"Oh, I am calm. I don't know how calm you are going to be if she falls pregnant again." -Dwalin crossed his arms with an indignant huff- "You were complaining of never being intimate with her because of the overburdening family obligations. Then you find the chance to get your wife back and you act like an immature dwarfling that found himself between a woman's thighs for the first time. You will be labored with another baby and the rest of us will have to put up with your usual grumpiness times a thousand!" Dwalin scolded.

Thorin snorted, feeling rather amused by Dwalin's vent.

"You don't seem bothered now, but I'd like to see that smug smile melt off your face when you are cradling a crying baby, looking after a post-partum mother and also catering to the remaining three kids alone! To hell! I am not going to help you with this mess just because you were unwilling to finish outside of Eilin once and I am going to take Dis and Fili with me!"

"More than once…" Thorin cringed.

Dwalin's face exploded in terror. "You crazy asshole…." He muttered.

"Actually since throwing her in bed I didn't let one ounce of my love go to waste." Thorin's brow arched.

Dwalin brow wrinkled in confusion. "Wait a moment."

Thorin crossed his arms and looked towards his son smugly.

"Why do I have a feeling that you were aiming for a baby to begin with?"

"I longed to feel her intimacy again, which I have been missing like mad. Now if a baby comes out of it…then…" Thorin shrugged casually.

Dwalin covered his brow. "You actually want this."

Thorin looked at him amused and inclined his head. "I was not aiming for it, but I wouldn't say no to it either."

"But you are always grumpy about the burdens of fatherhood!" Dwalin flayed his arms.

"Grumpiness is my natural state of being. That doesn't mean I don't love my children or that I don't enjoy being with them." Thorin smiled.

"Or that you don't want more! You will get blue balls from being unable to mate with your wife again for a long time after another pregnancy." Dwalin spat.

Thorin chuckled. "Blue balls is also my natural state of being. That is why I am always grumpy."

Dwalin closed his eyes. "Don't be a smart-ass. Does she even know that you came inside her with full knowledge?"

"She was too caught up in the moment as you said and so was I. She –forgot- to tell me and I also –forgot- to mention it. I don't care about anything else. For now I am just happy that we are once more like we used to be." Thorin's face lit up.

Dwalin closed his mouth and smirked. "You are both insufferable…have I told you that?"

"More than once."

"And more alike that you will ever be willing to admit." Dwalin added and that is when a pair of loving voices interrupted them and made Thorin's heart come alight.

"Daddy!" The exclamation came both from Thrárin and Rhianaye who hastened down the corridor towards him with open arms.

Thorin knelt down just in time for them to knock him to the floor with their momentum. Thrárin climbed on top of him and leaned his head on Thorin's chest and Rhianaye wrapped her arms around his neck, throttling him with her love.

"Daddy are you alright? Missed you so much!" Rhianaye spoiled his cheeks with kisses.

"Daddy…daddy….daddy…" Thrárin cooed.

The King didn't even try to get up. His long arms enfolded both kids in his embrace and he began dispersing kisses on their heads and faces. "I am alright. Where have my two precious gems been? I missed you too…"

Rhianaye took over eagerly. "Oh, daddy! I was practicing my balancing skills with Lis and I managed to hopscotch on one leg. You wanna see?"

Thorin nodded and sat up with Thrárin snuggling in his arms. "I'd love to see that." He beamed.

Rhianaye's face became serious and she gazed at the balcony for several moments. Then she pulled one foot up and held it with her hand. She hopscotched successfully a few times before losing balance and stumbling back to her father. "We have been working on this for as long as you were away. I wanted to surprise you with it! Are you happy? Maybe now I can try getting on a pony without Durin, what do you think? Is my balance improved? Will I be able to ride alone?"

Thorin hugged her tightly and gifted her face with countless loving kisses. "I think we can try that, sure."

Rhianaye's eyes grew wide. "Truly?!"

"Yes." He beamed.

"THANK YOU!" Rhianaye almost knocked him to the ground again.

Thorin closed his eyes and his heart erupted in a hundreds colors of love from the bouquet of affection that his children were offering him. "I love you my Little Gem."

"Me too daddy, I love you to the end of Middle Earth." Rhianaye cupped his cheeks and kissed his nose.

"And I love both of you to the sky." Thorin arched his brow at her.

"And I love you to the end of the sky!" Rhianaye added.

"And I love you to the end of the sea!" Thrárin added.

Thorin looked at his wide-eyed son. "And I love both of you to the stars and even beyond them….to the great unknown."

Thrárin giggled and clapped his hands. "I want to see the stars!"

"We will climb on those huge trees when everyone else is asleep and when the sky is clearest and darkest. Then we will sit at the thickest branches and we will admire the stars until the break of dawn, what do you think?" Thorin tickled his son.

"Yeah I want that!" Thrárin giggled enthusiastically.

Rhianaye squeezed her father several times, she caressed his hair and offered several sloppy kisses to his cheeks. "You need to comb your hair daddy…" she said.

He kissed her nose. "Is it that bad?"

"Yes." Rhianaye scowled at his tousled image.

"Maybe you can do it for me?" Thorin beamed at her.

"Not mom?" Rhianaye looked at him eagerly.

"I want you to do it." He smirked and Rhianaye embraced him and closed her eyes.

"I will make you the best hair braid dad. You just wait and see." She promised.

Dis chuckled happily.

Thorin's eyes fell to his sister and his mouth formed a smile. "Your sister will make me a braid. What are you going to make me?" He asked his son.

"A will forse a sword and I will play you music." Thrárin's eyes were so excited.

"Forge…" Thorin smiled sweetly.

Thrárin snorted.

"So you will become a sword-smith and an artist?" Thorin raised his brow.

"Yes that!" Thrárin shouted.

Thorin rubbed his nose upon Thrárin's. "What have you been up to these days my little prince?"

"I learned how to make trap-door traps in order to catch birdies with Fili and Valdis." Thrárin said and pulled his father's hair.

"And Roac was not angry that you are messing with his helpers?" Thorin smiled.

"We are letting them free again. We are not hurting the poor birdies." Thrárin frowned even at the idea.

"This is the same kid who released the fishes back to the river because he didn't want them to suffer. Forgot?" Dis added.

Thorin looked at her with a sweet smile. "True. So did auntie Dis convince you to come along with her in Mirkwood?"

"No we wanted to come find you and mom. We convinced auntie Dis to bring us over." Rhianaye tried to assume a serious face.

Thorin's eyes were searching towards his sister.

Dis walked over to them and Thorin saw for the first time Tauriel who was standing far off behind, half hidden by a tall column. "They are saying the truth wolf. They wanted to come find you. They were worried and they asked me to bring them over."

"I thought you were ill or that mom was not well. I mean auntie Dis told us you were fine, but…" Rhianaye's eyes darkened.

"You didn't believe them?" Thorin cleared some hair from her forehead.

"No... I wanted to make sure you were alright. What is this anyway?" Rhianaye grasped his hand and pressed his bandaged finger.

Thorin hissed and grew slightly pale. "A wound I earned for not being careful."

"Did this make you sick?" Thrárin pouted.

"No my proud warrior. I didn't fall sick. I just had to stay here and talk with the Elven King about some matters of state." Thorin frowned.

"But you left so quickly because you lost Durin and then you never came back and you didn't look good before you left." Thrárin continued with that soft and sad voice that was enough to melt his dad's heart.

"You worry too much. Both of you. We found Durin and we decided to come here in order to take care of some matters. That is all. Do I look sick?" Thorin offered a solemn gaze to his children.

"Nah…" Thrárin flashed a toothless grin.

Rhianaye looked at his finger suspiciously and then shook her head. "No."

Thorin's mouth formed a dazzling smile and he stood up easily, scooping up both of them in his arms. Then he placed a firm kiss on each cheek. "Now that you are here are you in the mood to have some good time in the Elven Realm?"

"YEAH!" Both children yelled.

Dwalin chuckled at Dis who smiled warily at him.

"Okay, then we shall ask uncle Dwalin and maybe Lady Tauriel who's been hiding in the back to help you find Durin and mom?" Thorin raised his brow.

Tauriel came forth and bowed slightly. "My King Thorin."

He offered her a kind smile. "No need to hide my Lady. We have missed your presence in Erebor, even though you have become one of Thrárin's best friends and his usual partner in crime here in Mirkwood."

"Cannot stay away from this beautiful young boy. I admit it." Tauriel smiled.

When Thrárin was placed down, he ran and climbed on Tauriel's arms. "Can we go see all the fountains and the waterfalls and the enchanted lake and the deer and the owls and the bugs and the fishes….pretty please?"

Tauriel kissed his cheek. "Sure my love."

Thrárin squeezed her tight. "Thank you!"

"I must insist that your presence is needed to brighten Erebor. We miss you Lady." Thorin said quietly.

"It is hard for me…please understand…" Tauriel averted her eyes.

"Still?" Thorin's brow creased.

Dis looked at the moon stone the Elven maiden was wearing around her neck and averted her eyes.

"Always." Tauriel closed her eyes, before anyone had the chance to see the unbearable darkness in them.

"I am so sorry…" Thorin said quietly.

"Me too….I shall always be sorry." Tauriel whispered and then gave another firm kiss on Thrárin's cheek.

"That's Nameless with Durin daddy!" Rhianaye pulled his warrior braid and turned his attention towards the opening below them.

Thorin's brow clouded. "Yes."

Dis came over and scrutinized the man with a raised brow. "The famous Nameless then…" She murmured.

Thorin pressed his lips and offered Dwalin a guarded side-eye.

"Nameless!" Thrárin screeched.

That set the loyal bodyguard into action. "Come on I will take you to them." He presented his hand to Rhianaye.

Thorin put her down and she grabbed Dwalin's hand. "No I will take you to them uncle!" She hauled the giant Dwarf with great difficulty.

"You little urchin." Dwalin chuckled.

Tauriel followed with Thrárin and soon after Thorin was left alone with his sister. She remained silent next to him, observing Durin and Othin that were very concentrated on sorting out feathers. "You are unusually silent considering the circumstances." He noted.

She didn't answer.

"Thank you for bringing them over. I have missed them tremendously." Thorin continued.

Dis swallowed heavily and her countenance became distantly cold. "I know. How are you feeling?"

"Better." Came the taciturn answer.

She turned to him. "Is this the only place where you are hurt?" She pointed towards his finger.

He frowned taken aback. "Yes."

"Nowhere else?" She looked at him from top to bottom.

"No…"

"Are you certain?" Her brow arched.

"Of course I am." He scowled in confusion.

"No further signs of any weakness?" Dis insisted.

"I am not ill anymore, but I would appreciate some repose. Why are you asking?" Thorin rejoined hesitantly.

Her slap came out of nowhere and set his cheek aflame. He grabbed it and his mouth dropped open in shock. "Why the hell did you do that for?"

Dis' jawline clenched. "That is for scaring the shit out of me again!"

Thorin was left speechless with a buzzing ear.

Then came another equally fierce slap from the other side. "That is for making me think that I was going to have to tell your children that they are now FATHERLESS!" She lifted her hand to strike him again but he grabbed it mid-air.

"Can you stop?" He asked befuddled.

She pulled her hand free and looked at him through teary eyes with a countenance that bespoke of many stifled emotions. "You made me remember what it was like when I told my sons their father was dead. I still recall the look of confusion and terror in their eyes. You almost made me do the same thing to your children, just because you are a bloody fool!"

"Gerbil please calm down…." He begged.

"Don't you dare…." She was trembling with rage.

Thorin pulled back. He knew how fiery his sister could become when she was in rage.

"You are the most stubborn Dwarf that our race has ever produced! Mother was right! You are never to be trusted! You didn't say a word about how sick you were feeling, how was I supposed to know? How were we supposed to help you, if you don't speak?!" She tried to hit him again, but he contained her arms and pulled her in his embrace.

"Please…stop. Forgive me." He muttered upon her head.

She closed her eyes and enwrapped her arms around his back fiercely. "I thought I lost you. I thought I would have to sustain your poor wife through the unbearable pain of losing the love of her life. That I had to explain to her how it is to raise the children your man gifted you with…alone. That I had to convince her to withstand the hell of remaining behind when her other half is gone. You stupid, obstinate Dwarf!" She cried.

"Hush…no…" He closed his eyes and kissed her forehead.

"Have you no shame? No guilt for what you made your poor wife and oldest son go through? What you made me and Fili go through? Your other children suspected something was wrong. Rhianaye is far too clever to be sidetracked. What came over you to keep all those nightmares a secret? You kept fainting and you didn't speak a word. You were burning with fever and you never asked for help…why? Just so you could die earlier and get it over with? What was your purpose with this senseless behavior?!" She thwarted his shoulder-blades furiously.

"I didn't want to worry you or Eilin. I was wrong." He admitted in defeat.

"Yes you were wrong! You could have died from this foolhardiness. Don't you have an ounce of empathy for Eilin, your children or me?" She grabbed his tunic and pressed her face on his chest.

"I never spoke because I didn't want to worry you or get you involved with all this. I trusted too much in my strength and it failed me. I shall never do something like that ever again. I promise." His voice was soothing and honest.

"I almost died of anguish…and you don't even want to know how Eilin sustained through the torture of seeing you in oblivion. This girl is braver than all of us combined, remember that." Dis continued with the same broken voice.

He closed his eyes. "I know."

"I told you before…I cannot bear to lose you, but I am far less important than your family, right now. They cannot lose you…period! Do you understand that?" Dis gritted her teeth.

"Gerbil you are not thinking clearly. One day I will raise our banners and call our troops to form their lines once again. I am still a warrior at heart and I shall be one to death and a warrior's job is to protect the ones he loves. I will fall one day and I pray it will be in battle. What will happen then to Eilin or you? This is something we must all come to terms with." His voice was heavy.

"I will endure you falling in battle -sword at hand- and I will mourn your honorable loss at the side of your proud wife. However I will never accept you dying from a bloody scratch of an old Orcish blade, because you are too arrogant to admit to any weakness! Forget it!" Dis rubbed her face on his tunic and exhaled hard.

Thorin's lips curled up to a side-smile. "When you word it that way you put things into perspective."

She nodded and punched his shoulder-blade again. "Never again you hear?"

He nodded. "Never."

"You shall always tell me if you feel unwell…even when you feel too hesitant to worry your poor wife you shall come to me!" Dis continued with an austerity that made him smile.

"Okay."

"PROMISE ME!" She shouted and tagged his tunic hard.

"I promise…calm down." He spoke in a hushed tone and kissed the top of her head.

That seemed to settle her a bit. "Did I hurt you much?"

He pulled back and cleared some teary ringlets from her temple. "On this side or on this?" He pointed at his reddish cheeks.

"On either!" She glared at him.

"Stung like hell." He admitted.

"They should have been punches!" She pointed at his face.

"You are ruthless…" He pressed his lips.

She stared at him long and hard. "Do you feel pain or discomfort anywhere else?"

Thorin shook his head and then touched his temple lightly. "No…all my troubles lay here."

"Your head is hurting?" Dis reached up to cup his face with a tenderness that didn't go well with her attack before.

"No, but that is where I feel mostly uncomfortable." Thorin pressed his lips and turned to observe the fountain under their balcony, still holding Dis in his arms.

She wiped her eyes. "What is bothering your mind wolf?"

"Him." He nodded towards Durin's grandad.

"Nameless…?" Dis scowled and leaned her hands on the railing in order to see better.

"Nameless who also goes by the name Urkar…but who was also honored once upon a time with another name of great lineage." Thorin's eyes thinned.

"You are talking in bloody riddles again and you know I hate that. Also I am still mad at you so don't play with my patience." Dis warned.

"You said before that you would do anything to help Eilin and my children if I died." Thorin's regard was full of shadows.

"With my life if necessary and you know it." Dis' eyes filled with uncertainty at this sudden mood change from him.

"I will need you to become Eilin's shadow from now on, especially when she is meeting with this man and I am not there. Be discreet, but be there and keep your eyes open."

"You are scaring me…" Dis' hand fell on his forearm heavily.

Thorin pressed his lips.

"Why especially with him wolf? He is just a Petty Dwarf who lingered at Mirkwood, right?" Dis seemed more and more confused.

Thorin's mouth curled up in a dry smile. "Hmm, the Mirkwood shadow lurker…master Nameless…Urkar the arrow maker….or else Lord Othin of the Firebeard clan. The High Lord who fought in Azanulbizar next to Thror….The great Telchar's descendant."

Dis blanched. "Othin?"

Thorin turned to her and his gaze was unbearably heavy. "Eilin's father." He nodded coldly towards the plaza.

Dis felt her face draining from every single drop of blood, her fingers tingling and her heart stopping. Nothing would have been able to set her once again in motion at that moment. Everything around her remained frozen under that heavy revelation. Only Thorin's eyes were animated and they held in them a strain that was not enough to contain the enormity of what he had just revealed to his sister or its implications.

* * *

 


	30. Scheming

 

It was a little before sunset that Thorin was finally able to satisfy all of his sister's questions about master Othin and Eilin and soon afterwards she left with the intention of meeting him. Thorin didn't want to intervene on his sister and his children who were currently with their grandfather, so he decided to wander the empty hallways buried deep in his heavy thoughts. Even though he disliked the man to the utmost he felt the need to respect the time Eilin’s father spend with his grandchildren. Every single moment was Othin’s opportunity to make up for the lost time and Thorin didn't want to intrude especially since he was not positively predisposed towards the man.

After a long walk he ended up in one of the central antechambers and felt the silence around him a little too overwhelming. He looked around the hall and his eyes were captivated by a lonely harp, which was peeking out of the shadows. It was drenched by the beautiful orange hue of the sunset that was creeping through the interwoven branches, which created an impressive dome overhead. He glanced around to make sure that he was alone and his footsteps led him in front of this much-loved musical instrument. The one his mother insisted that he learned how to play at the same time his father started to seriously train him in the art of war.

_"You will make a rough and unpolished Dwarf out of him with all those swords, axes and archery lessons. How will he court a woman when the time comes Thrain? By throwing a hammer straight between her eyes?" Durís glared at her formidable husband._

_"That'd be rather convenient. It will save him all the aggravation." Thráin rebuked. _

_"He needs to become refined and graceful. A proper ruler's attributes must not consist only of the art of war, politics and diplomacy. He must also be proficient in the academics, music, the arts and of course in proper manners. He needs to learn how to cook for his family not only how to hunt and how to take care of his home not wait for his woman to sort it out for him. Furthermore he needs to learn how to approach a woman, how to compliment her and how to make her understand what he feels for her. You are not going to teach him all that, are you?" Durís raised her brow._

_"Well, that'd be your job woman." - Thráin waved her off- "I get bored with all those trifles." _

_"You are totally crude and I have no idea how you managed to convince me to marry you…" Durís humphed._

_"My good looks did that. You wanted my children, because you saw how handsome I was. What's complicated about that?" Thráin smirked and pinched her bottom. _

_She wacked his hand fiercely. "Keep your hands to yourself you filthy mutt! I will not allow Thorin to be as unsophisticated and brusque as you. You want to train him in the art of war, fine! I will train him in music, in the arts and in the academics. I will embellish his soul with what is most sophisticated and chic, thus he will acquire what women love the most."_

_"Him being good in bed?" Thráin flashed a grin at her. _

_She slapped his shoulder. "Compassion, kindliness and sensitivity. Things you lack thereof!"_

_Thráin wrapped his heavy arms around her waist and drew her on him. "I agree on the academics. He needs to learn the laws of the Elders down to the last rune, but I am not so sure about the rest. Thorin is not an artist….he is a warrior." _

_"A warrior can also be an artist and visa-versa…" Durís gritted her teeth angrily._

_"Fine, do whatever you wish, just don't make a pansy out of him." Thráin raised his brow and his voice held a hint of warning. _

Thorin touched the harp's shoulder with a contemplative smile. Hadn't it been for his mother's insistence he would have never learned the art of music. Durís had been so right in her arguments with Thráin. Learning music had opened up his soul to a myriad new feelings and emotions. He gained a deeper level of understanding for the world, which changed his personality as a whole. Durís had been so wise. Even though Thorin became an artist, he never stopped being a warrior.

Now it was Thorin's turn to yearn for his son Durin to learn music, but his oldest son didn't seem to be interested at all. Thorin fell in love with the ability to create melodies in a far younger age than Durin was now. Maybe he still had a chance to do that with Thrárin, who looked enraptured whenever his father sat at the harp and his mother began singing. Maybe the artistic flare in Thorin's blood -which was passed down by his mother- had taken a tumble around the twins and blessed his youngest son instead with its charisma.

Thorin looked around him carefully one more time, before pulling up a stool and sitting in front of the harp. Would anyone bother if he checked to see how well tuned it was? As an experienced instrumentalist he felt nothing more painful that hearing an off tune string. With one last look behind him his long fingers touched the highest strings and tried a few combinations that ended up with him cringing in agony. He looked at the soundboard and saw how much dust was accumulated upon it. This poor instrument seemed totally abandoned and his hands itched to fix it up a little bit. He rested the harp on his shoulder and then he unwrapped the bandage from his hand and let it fall between his boots defeated. He caressed the tip of his forefinger and scowled vexed at the purple scar and at the slight swelling that still lingered.

With one last formidable frown towards this imperceptible wound, which proved almost lethal, he began a thorough tuning of each string. The process probably sounded mundane and possibly strenuous to common folk, but to Thorin's highly trained ears each string being tuned was a small eruption of bliss. When he finished his skilled fingers played several trills, followed by an assortment of turns, just to make sure that his ears were not in anguish from the harp’s performance. When he was satisfied with his work, he closed his eyes and unfolded an enrichment of notes that instantly filled the atmosphere with beautiful music.

With each passage of Eilin’s favorite tune he added complicated embellishments, which added so much expressiveness to the music. Lost as he was by his ability to create magic, he was unaware that several Elves arrived and stood silent guards around the antechamber while the King enthralled them with those melodies. He didn't give any notice to the stinging pain that was coming from his wound, as the need to express his emotions through his music was overpowering. Thus he remained lost in other worlds, more distant and ethereal as his music unraveled slowly to a spirited peak. Close to the end his mind created and his fingers performed a stormy fioritura that ended up with an eruption of applause he hadn't been expecting. He stopped and looked up surprised. He got ready to speak when the most bewitching voice he had ever heard enwrapped over his heart like the softest silk.

 _"Once upon a time there was a man, a wandering soul_  
_Lost in the realm of our kingdom._  
_They say he was a king who fought a great war_  
_When the dragons came into our kingdom and burnt everyone with a roar_ ”

He turned around and was met by two hands cradling his face and a pair of soft lips capturing his gently. A smile blossomed on his mouth and he kissed Eilin back tenderly. She drew away and looked at him with the most devoted smile.

 _"Once upon a time there was a kingdom, a beautiful one_  
_Surrounded in darkness of an ancient war._  
_They say there was a king, this wandering soul_  
_Who's cursed by a demon, forever, to watch his own realm rise and fall." (*)_

She finished and pushed him forward so she could sit on the stool behind him. He propped his forehead on the column pillar and closed his eyes. "I didn't hear you coming. Where you here all along?"

She combed his hair back with her fingers with such slow diligence that he felt his back breaking with goosebumps. "You are always like that when you play. Did I remember the words of my favorite song, correctly?" She smiled and began braiding him.

He nodded. "Perfectly. Your voice is pure magic."

"You know I always felt this song was written specifically for you." She smiled sweetly at his back and looked sideways at the Elves who began dispersing with many sighs of dissapointment when the King stopped his performance so suddenly.

"I believe it was." He nodded and sighed in delight as there was nothing more euphoric that Eilin running her fingers through his thick locks.

"Yet it is so dark and hopeless in the end…" She murmured.

"It was written during a time where we lived in exile. There was no hope in the minds of our people then. Erebor was lost….and my family was cursed….or so we believed." He rejoined quietly and his hand came back to hook under her knee.

She finished his braid and offered his nape a heartfelt kiss. "Yet, you changed all that."

He nodded softly. "That is what I wish to believe. Only time will tell how much we have changed history for the better or for the worse." He pressed the thigh firmly.

She leaned her body on his and began playing with some loose tendrils behind his ear. "Now you sound more sullen than the song and I dislike that. We were fine this morning. Did what happen with Elrohir ruin your humor?"

"I assure you it didn't." He shook his head.

"Then why do you sound so brooding right now?" She pulled his tunic down and kissed the upper part of his shoulder-blade, where one of the seven stars of Durin was.

He exhaled noisily and looked above his shoulder. "Did you meet with Urkar?"

Her brows furrowed for a few moments, before allowing her face to clear up. "Yes."

"And?" Thorin's lips clenched.

She didn't falter. "He seems like a very gentle character who had a very difficult life and who wishes to bother no one."

"Difficult life?" Thorin scowled, but looked ahead once more, not wishing for Eilin to see the negative emotions on his features.

She nodded. "He told me a few things about his family."

"Like?" Thorin's eyes clouded and his voice thickened.

"He had a child out of marriage with a prostitute and apparently he tried to convince her to create a family with him…." –Her pause was long and worrying- "He failed."

Thorin turned around on his stool in order to face her. His hands grasped her knees tightly. "Did he speak with such details on his own accord?"

Eilin cleared a few ringlets away from his penetrating eyes. "No I asked him, what's gotten into you? Are you alright?"

Thorin forced himself to appear calmer than he felt inside. "Did he say anything else?"

"He said his woman told him their child was dead and he lived in anguish for years. When he found out his daughter was alive he didn't want to bother her as she had apparently created a good life for herself. I find his story so relatable Thorin…so similar to mine."

"I can feel the tempest in you. You wish to get involved and I find that too rushed." Thorin's eyes burned though her.

She smiled and caressed his jawline. "You know me only too well. I offered to help him find his daughter indeed."

"Did he agree?" Thorin's jawline clenched and so did his hands around her thighs.

She frowned. "No…on the contrary he seemed terrified at the idea."

Thorin closed his eyes with a sigh of relief. "I'd suggest you take your time to get to know this man before jumping in to save his soul Eilin."

"You sound so cold and calculative right now even though you are truly sensitive in such matters." She looked at his lips and run her thumb over them.

"You just met him. Do me a favor and don't become too involved just yet. Allow yourself the time to get to know him a bit better. His torment may feel relatable to yours, but don't haste to come to any conclusions." Thorin spoke calmly.

"You are right, but he was so sweet, so timid, so shy…" Eilin's face fell.

"So much like you when you first arrived in Erebor?" Thorin's voice was hushed.

She nodded. "You may think I am mad, but there was something eerily familiar on him…which instead of unnerving me, it pulls closer. I cannot even explain it to you without sounding like a complete moron."

He drew her in and supported his cheek on the top of her head. "You were always so intuitive Eilin. Trust your feelings, but also be mindful around him. We don’t know him."

She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around his back. "He is so good with Durin."

"I know." Thorin frowned.

"Did you offer him a job?" She snuggled and smiled blissfully as his heavy arms settled around her small frame.

"I offered him an opportunity to prove himself." Thorin's voice grew cold.

She pursed her lips. "Thank you my love."

He closed his eyes and cringed. "It was my obligation."

"Not your pleasure? This man saved our child." She pulled back to look at his face.

"No…not my pleasure. My obligation." He voice was thickly coarse.

"I feel like that you are festering many dark feelings for this man and I cannot figure out the reason. Am I mistaken?" Eilin looked at his face thoroughly.

He pushed some hair away from her neck and cupped it gently. "Take what I am saying at face-value and let us leave it at that. Time might give us the opportunity to discuss more extensively about my feelings towards this man later on. Can we do that?"

She frowned. "I can do anything you ask me, my love, but…"

He pursed his lips.

"You have done a background check on him correct? You have confirmed that he is not dangerous to our family, right?" Eilin looked at him intently.

"Of course. I wouldn't have allowed anyone dangerous to approach our children or you." He replied gravely.

"I know." Her face softened with instant relief.

"However know that as long as he is under my rule and close to you or our kids I will be watching him closely." He continued with the same gravity.

"Thank you, my love." Her lips curled up.

He recognized the uncertainty in her smile. "There is more, isn't there?"

She nodded and looked at his lips quietly.

"What is it Eilin?" He asked calmly.

She inhaled deeply. "Master Urkar offered to become one of our children's caregivers."

"Isn't that a bit hurried?" A dark veil covered his eyes.

"I believe it is, but Durin was excited at the idea. I told him that I would consult you first." Her fingers caressed his neck.

"You did well. I know master Urkar has made quite an impression upon the younglings. Nevertheless our children have enough caregivers who are family. We don't know this man yet. It will be wiser to wait a while…don't you agree?"

Eilin nodded and pulled him by his beard braid until her lips could smooth over his with a soft kiss. "I agree wholeheartedly and I knew you would say that. Now I can tell Durin that dad is disagreeing with that proposition."

"Ah, I see. So I will end up again as the bad guy…" Thorin smirked.

"And I will remain the good mom, as always …." She winked at him with a playful smile.

He chuckled and pecked her lips. "You are so conniving."

"I just want to be on Durin's good side. He maybe my son, but that mighty ancient spirit in him is unsettling sometimes. When one of us is bad, the other must be good so he can have somewhere to lean on." She rejoined seriously.

"My wise woman…" He whispered.

"My wise man…" She smiled.

His brow wrinkled and he beheld her mouth with a tension that released a warmth inside her. "Eilin, just know that I am here for you…. for everything, alright? If anyone tries to harm you, they die. Never forget that."

Her eyes welled and she pulled his hurt finger until her lips could touch the scar gently. "I love you…" She whispered.

"Me too." He nodded and offered her face a doting look.

"You still look so exhausted. Does it hurt you?" She pecked his wound again, just barely.

"When I play the harp yes…when you are kissing it no." He smiled.

She snuggled on him and closed her eyes. "Do you have any plans now or do you just intend to stay here and enchant all the beautiful Elven Maidens with your music?" She crooned.

"I intended to convince you to come back with me in our rooms in order to continue what we were forced to abandon this morning." His voice filled with a playful tease she loved so much.

"I have a counter proposal. To escort you to our rooms so you can get some rest. You are still on the road to recovery and I don't want you to relapse just because you deny to settle down." She kissed the round muscle of his chest.

"Dwarves are famous for their resilience. I don't want to rest with you next to me…you know that." He buried his nose under her earlobe and dispersed several wet kisses there.

Her body woke up with a thrill and goosebumps chased her sensitive skin down to the small of her back until she felt the pit of her stomach twisting sluggishly at the familiarity of his sensual touch. "Hey-hey…stop it! You need a repose and I have to go Rhiannon soon. She is expecting me at her rooms before sunset. I am late already."

"Is it more important to go to her than stay with me and have a good time?" His tongue came out to tease her earlobe.

The hair on her head stood on end and her hands clutched his ribs for support. "Don't try to guilt trip me or to arouse me…you are not playing fair!"

He chuckled and pulled back to look at her amused. "It is so tempting though…just to see the mortified look in your pretty face."

"Stop all this childishness and promise me something." She looked at his stunning eyes which held so many promises they made her stomach fizz.

"Promise what?" He scowled.

"That you will take a warm bath and that you will lay in bed and wait for me. If your body needs to rest then you will allow it to do so, if not then when I come home I shall take good care of it. Alright?" She bit her lower lip.

A low key moan escaped him. "I can do that." His hands searched for hers and their fingers stippled.

"But you must promise not to come out and search for me until I finish with Rhiannon." Her eyes held a shadow that made him frown with suspicion.

"Why?" He leaned his forehead on hers and smiled thoughtfully.

"Am I not allowed to have some secrets with my best friend?" She brushed her nose against his.

"Depends on the secrets young lady." His brow arched high.

"They don't have to do with how much I love you, is that enough to calm you down?" She grinned.

"Hmm…not sure. Did you see the kids?" His scow wasn't erased by her carefree attitude.

She smiled and her lips smoothed over his forehead scar. "Yes, Dis brought them to me when I was with Rhia." She purred.

"Did Rhianaye show you how she was able to hopscotch on one leg?" Thorin's face lit up a little.

Eilin's lips pouted. "No, apparently she is keeping these small encouraging gifts only for her beloved daddy."

"That sounded jealous." He smiled.

"No woman can compete for the heart of a man against his daughter. It is a lost game, but I am not complaining. I have Durin and Thrárin." Eilin bumped his cheek with her forehead and closed her eyes.

Thorin sighed and his hands held hers tightly. "Where are they? Still with Urkar?"

Eilin pulled back and looked at him ponderingly. "Yes, but by Mahal you really seem dry when you speak about him."

Thorin forced himself to keep her eyes. "Does it bother you?"

"If it does will you stop it?" She gazed at his lips for a moment and then her eyes rolled up to be captured by his.

"Yes, I will." He frowned.

"The poor guy seems so harmless. You should have seen him today. He was barely able to keep himself up straight…and his neck…oh…it was terrible. It had long finger marks as if someone tried to choke him." Eilin's face turned gloomy.

He released one of her hands and reached up to stroke her bottom lip softly. "Life has a way of giving us what we deserve."

"Thorin don't be mean. What did the poor guy do to deserve being choked? You should have seen it! This was an awful attack on a feeble man. Completely inexcusable." Eilin shook her head disheartened.

Thorin felt his throat congesting. "Don't hurry to make any conclusions. That is unwise. Did he call it an attack?"

"No, he called it a justified punishment." Eilin was thoughtfully observing a stray vein on Thorin's neck that was thudding.

"Justified?" Thorin seemed incredulous.

"Yes, he was so very protective of his assailant, which was peculiar." -Eilin continued- "Actually many things feel so out of place with him, but not in a bad way. I know what you are preparing to tell me…" –She gave him a grave stare- "…Eilin don't rush, my treasure. Be patient and observant. Allow people to unfold themselves to you without forcing them with words or actions. Don't encourage nor discourage them. Just take a step back and wait. Most of the times people will show you what you need to know about them alone….if you wait long enough." She mimicked the heaviness of his voice.

Thorin snorted. "You silly girl." He cupped the back of her head and drew her in for a tender kiss.

"Do I know my lesson well?" She reciprocated the gentle touch and looked at him dreamily.

"You know it by heart, but will you heed my advice?" He smiled and when he looked at her beautiful lips his heart missed a beat.

She got ready to reassure him that she would be careful and that he needn't worry, when a solemn voice that seemed to derive from the ancient trees that were surrounding them spoke. "Your music is beautiful enough to stir a primordial soul from his much needed rest."

Thorin pulled back and looked at Thranduil who stood imposing as ever with his hands crossed behind his flowy golden dress. He pursed his lips. "Forgive me. I didn't mean to disturb you."

"The bewitching melodies that unraveled from the strings of this harp were anything but a disturbance." –Thranduil looked at the old instrument for several silent moments- "This was left here in order to be transferred later to the apothecary with all the other old instruments."

Thorin allowed Eilin to pull away from him and stand up dutifully for the Elven King.

Thranduil noticed and inclined his head gracefully. "My Lady. I am enchanted as always by your renowned beauty."

"My Lord, I am deeply honored by your compliment." She curtsied.

“What do you do with these instruments?” Thorin caressed the shoulder of the harp thoughtfully.

Thranduil pursed his lips. "We take whatever parts we find useful from them, mainly the wood and use it for our crockery or sell the parts at Dale to be reprocessed."

"It is a pity. It is made out of good wood and its sound is very clear. Maybe you could sell it to me?" Thorin rejoined.

"I am aware you have a golden harp, made by the most experienced music shop in Dale for your enjoyment." Thranduil noticed.

"I can use it for Thrárin's training. I hate to see good musical instruments go to waste. Besides it is time for him to be initiated in the world of music." Thorin smiled.

"Oh that is so wonderful. He is going to love the gift." Eilin beamed.

He offered her a sweet smile.

"Then the harp is yours." Thranduil rejoined elegantly.

"Thank you." Thorin tilted his head.

"In exchange I need to have a few words with you." Thranduil continued.

Thorin looked at Eilin and gave her an imperceptible nod, which she recognized instantly. "Will you excuse me gentlemen?" She curtsied again.

"By all means." Thranduil acknowledged and they both observed quietly as Eilin walked away.

"I owe you not only a few words, but many…" Thorin stood up and joined Thranduil.

The Elven King raised his hand elegantly. "Shall we walk towards the throne room?"

"Lead the way." Thorin reciprocated the courtesy.

* * *

 

They strode silently thoughtful, a King next to a King for a long time. Several passing Elves bowed respectfully to both. An act that formed a smile of appreciation on Thorin's lips. "I wonder if they would have presented the same respect to me, hadn't I been in your presence."

"Haven't they showed it during your stay here perchance?" Thranduil returned calmly.

Thorin nodded. "Indeed."

"Or haven't you seen it during the last decade where our relationships have become so cordial?" Thranduil continued.

"Of course." Thorin rejoined.

"The respect my kin has for you personally equals almost the respect they have for me." Thranduil looked at him with a raised brow.

"It is a respect that is reciprocated by my kin to your person." Thorin inclined his head.

"I am aware and rather beholden of that fact." Thranduil's mouth formed a lopsided smile.

Thorin cringed slightly and sighed. "I know you are trying to remind me of our friendship with all these subtle suggestions."

Thranduil remained expressionless. "I told you ten years ago after our battle in Dol Guldur that my loyalty will remain with you, because I was deeply grateful of the way you acted towards my family. You changed the way I felt about your kin singlehandedly and I didn't want to deal with anyone else, but you."

"I remember." Thorin smiled thoughtfully.

"However the last few years my people have come close to yours and our cities have joined forces not only in military operations and trades, but also in loyal friendships. More and more I found myself intrigued by members of your family and of your clan." Thranduil pursed his lips.

"Tis a union that I am very grateful for. Our ever-growing friendship and loyalty has made me forget all those dark days of the past also." Thorin added solemnly.

"No matter that I am rather fascinated by your son Durin or that my Captain is absolutely in love with your son Thrárin…despite the diminishing need to spit at Dain's face or my deep respect for your beautiful wife….still the relationship that holds all this together is me and you, above all." Thranduil stopped and looked at him.

"I know." Thorin nodded.

"If the trust between us dithers, then everything will be lost." Thranduil rejoined.

Thorin closed his eyes. "I failed you."

Thranduil didn't hesitate. "You did."

"I will not use excuses. I made a serious mistake." Thorin found his eyes steadily.

Thranduil started walking again. "I will not hide that I was greatly disappointed when I learned that you ordered an attack to a fort that belongs to my kin, without consulting me first. I give enormous consideration to reliance and fidelity and you shook them both with your impulsiveness. Something that I could have expected from Thror, but not from you."

"It is the folly I suppose…that crosses over races."

Thranduil raised his brow inquisitively. "What is?"

"To expect rulers to be unerring."

"And is that a mistake? When we hold in our hands the fate of so many we cannot make mistakes, for a single one can result in catastrophe." Thranduil returned.

"You hold the wisdom of a thousand years. I hold the prudence of a mere hundred. I wish I was infallible, but apparently I am not. I almost destroyed our allegiance because I was unable to hold up against assailants that I can barely understand, much less fight. However I would never betray you like my grandfather did." Thorin's brow creased.

Thranduil nodded. "I know and be certain that neither will I. I have discussed with your wife and Lord Elrond. He is expecting us at the throne room. Queen Eilin explained to me how much you suffered under the exposure of Dol Guldur's corruptive energy. It stained Durin as well if I am not mistaken."

Thorin shook his head. "I feared for his life. I am not making excuses as I told you before, but my strength failed me and my reason fled. The only thing on my mind was to keep my children safe. Dol Guldur claimed my father, it tried to claim me more than once and now it is targeting my boy. I wanted it uprooted…and I will not lie. I still wish to clear Mirkwood of its presence."

Thranduil gave him a scrutinizing stare. "You are not the only one. The Elves of Lorien and Mirkwood wish of the same thing, but not in such a rushed and unprocessed manner. I am aware how much this place is affecting you. It has been so since the beginning of time and eventually it must be dealt with. How are you feeling now?"

"Much better." Thorin smiled at him.

"No more nightmares?" Thranduil raised his brow.

"No." Thorin frowned.

"Whispers?" Thranduil tilted his head.

"No."

"I would suggest instead of becoming foolishly rash like you did ten years ago when you attacked Dol Guldur single-handedly, this time you will consult me and the wisdom of the White Council upon the matter." Thranduil rejoined sternly.

"I wish for nothing more than that, except maybe to offer you my deepest regret for what happened." Thorin's voice was honest and bereft of any arrogance.

"I have come to meet the true valiance and honor that runs in your blood King Thorin and your wife had made a very solid case in your favor. She explained to me how the father acted in the stead of a King and I can understand that, for I am a father too. A man's weakest spot is his manhood. A married man's weakest spot is his family. Your family was targeted and you reacted instinctually. I admit that I am still raw, but what happened is not enough to make me forget how honorably you have treated me personally and my kin all these years. I will lay this misfortune down to the hold Dol Guldur has over you, which is something that must be discussed with Lord Elrond." Thranduil raised his hand elegantly and offered Thorin to walk up the steps first.

Thorin looked at Lord Elrond who was waiting for them with a kind smile. "We need to discuss with him more things than Dol Guldur."

Thranduil's amusement at that was evident. "Of course. I heard about Durin's misadventures."

"You seem delighted at that misfortune." Thorin turned at him annoyed.

"I already shamelessly admitted to you that I am very intrigued by your older son. His resemblance to you in your younger days is uncanny." Thranduil allowed Thorin to walk in front of him.

"I thought you hated the trouble I caused your Realm. Now that there is a possibility all this rioting will be repeated you look absolutely thrilled. You make no sense." Thorin shook his head and pursed his lips.

"I am keeping a close eye to the next King of the North, upon whom I witness a lot of potential. I am willing to be patient with him for the sake of peace." Thranduil smiled.

Lord Elrond intervened. "Don't be so hurried to get rid of the current King. We shall have to deal with him for many years to come, hopefully." He said.

Thorin looked from one to the other and then his eyes rested on the Elven King once more. "So are you trying to get on Durin's good side and create an early liaison so you won't have issues later on or are you attempting to instill in him some of your own ideas just to be on the safe side?" He smirked knowingly.

"Be certain I am doing both." Thranduil gave him a haughty smile.

Thorin shook his head. "Be careful he doesn't manage to do the opposite. The soul that resides inside him has thousands of years of experience, much like yours."

"I noticed…" Thranduil inclined his head and his beautiful eyes shone with an excitement that Thorin had never witnessed upon his cold countenance before.

"Thranduil is immensely wise, he knows what he is doing. We are all expecting much from the reincarnation of Durin the Deathless." Elrond smiled.

"Even if he has caused so much trouble for your grand-daughter already?" Thorin crossed his arms with a crafty smirk.

Elrond seemed unfazed. "You don't procrastinate much. I got Elrohir's version of what happened alright, but I also got Arwen's."

"Shall I point our which version is the wisest?" Thorin raised his brow.

Elrond nodded. "I am aware that the feud between you and Elrohir had become rather intense. My son is very sensitive towards his daughter after the loss of his wife. He can become very foolish and he doesn't have an eye for respecting authority."

"He was downright offensive towards my son and my wife. It was only by Durin's will that I didn't create an issue that would be able to break the allegiance between our races much worse than my orders about Dol Guldur would have ever done. His attitude was unacceptable as was his punishment towards both children!" –Thorin's tone turned instantly assertive- "And for what reason? They were never in any danger and my wife apologized not once, but twice about not taking care of little Celebriel according to her father's wishes. He not only rejected the polite apology of my wife, but he also continued giving offensive names to my boy. Tell me, what kind of reaction do you expect out of me for all that?"

Elrond sighed and inclined his head. "Patience…"

Thorin humphed. "Patience and not gratification for all those belligerent words towards a Prince of the crown?"

"We all make mistakes King Thorin. You made a mistake with Dol Guldur and my son made a mistake with you son. Have some patience I beg you." Elrond said calmly.

"I apologized to the man I offended for my imprudence!" –Thorin pointed at Thranduil- "I didn't see Lord Elrohir apologizing to Lord Durin."

Elrond exchanged a guarded stare with Thranduil and pursed his lips. "I do believe an apology is long due and it shall be offered."

"Along with an elimination of that barbaric punishment towards the children? They are good friends. How can he tear them apart like that and break their hearts for absolutely no reason?" Thorin's glare was burning.

"The reason was good enough for him." -Elrond rejoined and Thorin tensed, but the Elven Lord hurried to continue- "However the punishment does not equal the crime. I will have a talk with my son."

"Do that before I have that talk with him myself and things take a nasty turn." Thorin warned.

"Quiet your heart King of the North…" Thranduil decided to intervene.

Thorin glared at him, but didn't speak.

"I understand how offended you must feel, but you need to practice tolerance. That was never the best trait of your kin." Thranduil continued quietly.

Thorin pointed at him. "You know I respect you deeply, but do me a favor and don't talk about patience to me. I practiced your precious fortitude when Lord Elrohir was calling my son despicable names and I didn't give him a piece of my mind or a taste of my fist. I was man enough to own up to my mistakes and ask forgiveness….is he?" He turned at Elrond with eyes that were ablaze.

Elrond sighed. "Allow me to speak with him and this unfortunate misunderstanding shall be solved, but let me ask about Lord Durin. Has he agreed to keep his rebellious nature under control when he is with my grand-daughter?"

Thorin exhaled and rubbed his forehead in desperate need to calm down his galloping adrenaline. "Of course. He has already been warned not to act imprudently around Celebriel ever again or else the consequences shall be severe and he has offered his apology to the girl’s father."

"You see my little girl is as rebellious as your son -if not more- and their combination can become rather explosive." Elrond said with a clever smile.

"I am trying to contain Durin's daring nature, but sometimes that proves to be impossible. Nevertheless he has to answer to me for all his actions and that is something that he dislikes gravely. I trust that to be enough to restrain his impulsiveness." Thorin returned solemnly.

Elrond pursed his lips. "The boy is very promising, but also very risky. He is to take over the throne of the North…I worry."

"Thorin's blood rans in his son’s veins and Thorin's soul has split in half and has saturated the old spirit of Durin with his shrewdness. I worry not about the child." Thranduil returned.

Those words lit up Thorin's face. "Durin shall not let down his people…neither yours. As for now I believe whole-heartedly that he shall not let little Celebriel down either if their friendship is allowed to blossom."

“How aware are you that Durin's merits have been unfortunately noticed not only by the White Council, but also by other forces much more sinister?" Elrond's countenance darkened.

"I felt them their corrosive power in my veins…." -Thorin hissed- "They have been plaguing my mind, driving me mad right under my own roof. I know they are now targeting my children. Tis the reason I will not back away from my original intent to destroy Dol Guldur and the filth it hides behind the veil. I will not allow that dark shadow to loom above my children."

"Yet you rush too much. Dol Guldur will not fall so easily. We have talked about that before." Elrond raised his brow.

Thorin backed away and leaned upon a railing in order to settle down a strong wave of fatigue that suddenly overtook him. "Of course. Sauron will not allow such a great strategical point to be overtaken. Not until he is ready to unleash his menace over Middle Earth and destroy everything in his path."

Elrond crossed his arms and looked down. "Sauron's original intent was not to destroy Middle Earth and rule a land of ash and fire contrary to all belief. It was to control the most significant people -the rulers of Middle Earth- and through them become the ultimate ruler of all and create order. His idea of an order anyhow. That is why he gave all those rings of power."

Thorin's countenance took a plunge when he remembered the accursed ring that caused the fall of his grandfather and his father. "I am well aware." He hissed vehemently.

"As he raises again and the tower of Baradur is being rebuild, his ultimate goal remains the same. He wishes to control Middle Earth, by manipulating the remaining ring owners…"

"Whomever has survived the corrosive power of those rings you mean?" -Thorin felt his back crawling- "Everyone fell or succumbed to Sauron's control except from the three Elven Ring owners."

"I believe he will resort in his old ways and try to gain new followers." Elrond pursed his lips.

Thorin's brow creased, but he remained silent.

"He will try to create new rings and promise the most powerful people ultimate supremacy and by recovering the One Ring, he will once more control all." Elrond returned.

"You believe he will approach my kin again with such offers? He cannot be that thick." Thorin's lips curled up in a spiteful smile.

"Indeed Sauron cannot tamper anymore with the Seven Lords separately as your bold actions have created an alliance that is solemnly ruled by one man…by one family." Elrond smiled.

Thorin pressed his lips testily.

"He still has a couple of alternatives though. He can try to eliminate your family, which is becoming more and more difficult since the line of Durin has blossomed from your loins and it will continue to do so from your offspring."

Thorin's brow lifted an inch more.

"He can launch a full attack upon your Kingdom in order to reclaim Erebor and its immense treasure, but your army has grown too mighty and he has too many open fronts to take such a risk. Any attack now will result in his defeat from the North and it might trigger Gondor to retaliate." Elrond continued.

Thorin inclined his head. "So what's next? Corruption from the inside out?"

Elrond's mouth formed a satisfied smile. "Very good. He might try to corrupt you or your ancestors and thusly take over control of the immense power you own. I believe that is what he tried to do with those whispers and those nightmares that debilitated you."

Thorin rubbed his temples and closed his eyes. "They were consuming every single thread of my logic. You have no idea how bad it was."

Elrond frowned and approached him. "He will try to weaken you, to make you fear, to live in terror, to make mistakes, and a ruler who makes mistakes is…"

Thorin looked up. "Weak….he enfeebled me and that almost destroyed my alliance with the Elves. That endangered my son!"

Thranduil's handsome features clouded.

"Sauron doesn't own the One ring and he is yet too weak to truly ensnare your mind. His half-measures are not good enough to undo you. I believe he next attempt would be to lure in Durin, since you know Sauron too well to be tempted by his offers or be afraid by his threats anymore." Elrond rejoined.

"Lure him, how?" Thorin felt his nape crawling with wrath even at the idea of Sauron approaching Durin.

"By offering him help to reclaim Moria in exchange for a ring of power that would enhance Durin's already mighty rule over all the Dwarven Kingdoms. He may control Moria by his demons and hordes of Orcs, but they are unable to mine for him. They are simply guarding the mountains, but are practically useless to him. Sauron loves Mithril and now he knows there are new veins in Erebor. You have resisted him successfully for many years so it will be easier to target the fresh blood instead. He will offer to help your son reclaim his Dwarrowdelf in exchange for a Ring of Power. When he has full control he will use the Dwarven skill to mine, forge and obtain the precious Mithril along with any valuable gems and gold. The fiery blood of your kin will be easier to control if he manages an alliance with its rulers, not by enslaving them. No one wants a crowd of infuriated Dwarves under his command."

Thorin pursed his lips. "That shall never happen as long as I live. Durin shall not succumb to such vile propositions."

"We are depending on that. Nevertheless for the time being you are the nexus that holds all this together. You are the one who shall lead Durin to the proper path and unfortunately I believe that you are still targeted. You must be cleansed from the hold Sauron has on you." Elrond's voice fell.

"I feel well now. What kind of hold are you talking about?" Thorin scowled.

"The Lady of Light wishes to see you, don't disappoint her." Thranduil raised his brow, not even allowing an inch of debate to Thorin.

The King remained immovable for several moments before nodding. "If you think that I must, then I will go through Lorien when I return from Hobbiton."

Thranduil sighed and his eyes softened. "She will assist you with those nightmares and she will identify those whispers. Trust her to help you."

"I do trust her." Thorin's tone was sincere.

"Now that we have discussed the danger that lingers around your family, we need to discuss about someone else who is in immediate danger, because Sauron's most fearsome enemies come neither from your kin nor mine." Elrond sat next to Thorin.

"You are talking about the Lords of Numenor. The ones who defeated him twice already, even though they were never true warmongers." Thorin's voice was heavy.

"Exactly. He will search, hunt and destroy whoever is hinted to descent from those sacred lines."

Thorin nodded.

"Elessar is in more danger than any of us and he is burdened by the great weight of the legends of old. He sees life from the lens of history, as any great King should. He has supported and offered council to great rulers and he has protected the lands from the darkness of the Necromancer for several years despite his youth. He will have to come to terms with the immeasurably weighty history that he carries upon his shoulders. He must accept the kingship that is being offered to him and that he must live up to it. He has a difficult road ahead and he needs our help. He must be protected by the Northern and the Western alliance at all costs and at all times. Before, during and after the war."

"I know that dark times are coming ahead and my family will protect Isildur’s heir. You should hold my promise sacred." Thorin returned heavily.

"There are people who will control the outcome of the future wars by their resilience, courage and strength. They are the ones who will decide if Middle Earth shall be ruled by darkness or the light. Elessar will need strong allies around him."

"He will have them." Thorin's face was set.

"One of his most important allies is Gandalf who shall lead him wisely through many dangerous paths. The other one though shall come from your kin." Elrond's lips broke a smile.

Thorin's brows furrowed. "Durin…" He whispered.

"Soon it will be his turn to stand next to mighty Kings…a King on his own right and resist the darkness. He will have to prove that he can live up to the heaviness of lineage much like Elessar will. There will come a time when these two legends will help each other and we must assist their relationship to take up roots. Their paths crossed for a reason…never doubt that King Thorin." Elrond tilted his head.

Thorin met him square in the eyes. "Have faith that the North will support the Western alliance at all costs." He returned solemnly and Elrond's countenance softened by degrees.

"It might be good for him to see the Shards of Narsil once again. He hasn't seen them ever since he was a child and back then he didn’t know his true identity." Elrond added quietly.

"I already had in mind to do more than show him the Shards. He will follow me back to Erebor when we leave in a couple of days." Thorin inclined his head.

"What do you mean do more than show him?" Elrond frowned.

"Trust me to deliver." Thorin arched his brow.

Elrond smiled and nodded. "I do. Can you please remind him when you present him Narsil the importance of his lineage and of his need to accept it, for his mind wavers heavily…"

"I will." Thorin reassured the Elven Lord.

"Thank you." Elrond closed his eyes.

Thorin inclined his head majestically and his eyes fell on Thranduil. There was an unspoken understanding between them, which grew a calm smile at the faces of both Kings and soothed down their hearts.

* * *

 

Durin caressed the sleek black feathers of Gundram and looked at the shadowy corridor. "Are you sure they are going to pass from here?" He asked.

The crow released a low caw and Celebriel smiled. "It is amazing how well you can communicate with these birds. You have some magic in you too."

"Every King that rules the Lonely Mountain has an unspoken alliance with the King of Crows and Ravenhill." Durin smiled proudly as the bird perched on his shoulder.

"Nevertheless your bond with this bird is beyond any alliance…it is a friendship." Celebriel noticed.

"It is similar to the friendship my dad has with Roac." Durin clarified casually.

"How about you? Don't you like Roac?" Celebriel face was entranced by his.

"I love him!" –Durin said defensively- "He is just like my mom though and sometimes like Lis. He always tries to stop me from….from…." He had a difficulty finding the correct words.

"From doing your usual monkey business?" Celebriel grinned.

He flinched. "Yes."

Celebriel pressed her lips and her eyes filled with sadness. "Coming with you today is rather dangerous after what happened between our fathers."

"I know." Durin's face fell and he rubbed his nose on Gundram's neck.

"If they find out what we are trying to do they will forbid us from ever seeing each other again." Celebriel's voice filled with grief.

"I don't want that to happen." Durin looked up gloomily.

She looked at him silently.

"You are my friend and I like you…" –He hesitated- "A lot."

She smiled and started picking at the hem of her long green dress. "I like you too. So what are we going to do if they catch us and stop us from meeting ever again?"

Durin looked at her resolutely. "I will come see you in secret!"

"My dad is preparing to leave for Rivendell without my aunt or my grandfather in two days. How are you going to do that?" Her lips pouted.

"You are leaving?" His face paled.

She looked away. "Yeah."

"Is it because of what happened?" Durin tried to see her eyes.

She nodded. "Yes."

Durin looked at her dejected for several moments before his countenance hardened once more. "I don't care where he is taking you. I will come find you!"

Celebriel looked up at that. "You are going to come in Rivendell?"

"Yeah, why not?" He frowned.

"Just to see me?" She tagged the sleeve of his tunic.

"You are my friend. Of course." Durin sounded determined.

"Even if my dad won't allow you?" She pressed on.

"I don't care what he says. He won't ruin our friendship. I will find a way to come find you in Rivendell and I will always find a secret way to see you until we grow older and then we can tell your father and mine to leave us alone." Durin raised his brow.

Celebriel's eyes sparkled. She pulled herself up and placed a quick, but reluctant kiss on the hairpin of Durin's mouth. "Thank you." She murmured.

He wiped the side of his lips abhorred. "Why did you do that for?" He muttered.

"I just wanted to do it." She shrugged.

Durin's face became crimson. "I don't want a girlfriend."

"I don’t want a boyfriend either!" Celebriel frowned.

"Then why did you do that?" He glared at her.

"That was not a boyfriend/girlfriend kiss, stupid! It was just a friend-kiss." She clarified with obvious embarrassment.

"Oh, okay." He looked away clearly uncomfortable too.

She fiddled with her dress a little bit more before speaking again. "What you said about coming to find me wherever I am…that was nice."

He smiled fleetingly. " You are the most courageous girl I know…besides Lis…but you…are kind of different. You don't want me to stop doing whatever I like…you are actually helping me."

"I will always help you. Even when we grow older." She smiled.

"Is that a promise?" He looked at her.

She showed him her pinky. "Promise."

He wrapped his pinky around hers and smiled. "And I promise to always be there for you no matter how far you go."

She smiled and her face lit up. "You do know how to make a girl feel nice…."

He pulled his hand away and cleared some hair from his face nervously. "No I don't and I don't want to know."

Celebriel nudged him with her elbow. "Hey, I think they are coming!"

Durin inhaled sharply and drew back. He gestured at Celebriel to be quiet and looked around the corner. His mother, his nanny and Lord Durar were walking down the corridor pensively.

"We need to follow them." Celebriel mouthed.

"Gundram will do it discreetly and then he will tell us their location." He said in a hushed tone.

Celebriel nodded and peaked above Durin's shoulder. The young Prince murmured a few words at the Raven which flew silently far above the Queen and her escorts, hiding at the thick canopy of the forest. Then Durin settled back with Celebriel and looked at her for several tense moments. He reached out and grasped her hand. "Are you sure you are ready to do this?"

Her eyes sparkled. "More than ready."

His smile was wide and honest. Then he pressed her fingers and checked to see if his mom was gone along with his Raven. Now the only thing they had to do was wait for Gundram to tell them the final location of the meeting and for them to arrange how they were going to lure Ith down to the wine cellar and away from Lord Durar, Rhiannon and Eilin.

Durin didn't know if his heart was thudding so hard because of the kiss Celebriel gave him or because tonight he was going to take his vengeance upon that insolent woman.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * BrunuhVille - The Realm of The Fallen King (Feat. Sharm)


	31. On heroism

Eilin gave a wary look at Rhiannon who was standing a little out of the way and then at the grave expression of Lord Durar's face. The reddish dusk that penetrated the thick canopy of the forest created eerie shadows on his forehead and around his eyes. Eilin leaned on the tree bark and sighed dejected. "You don't know how sad I am to drag you in such a sorry situation my Lord." She spoke in a hushed tone.

"I need to know the truth." He gritted his teeth.

"Still seeing you in such distress makes me feel guilty." Eilin said openly.

"There are some things that cannot be solved by good will alone, my Lady. This is one of them. If what you were telling me is true and my niece appears, then this situation was beyond your ability to keep it under the boundaries of propriety." He sounded dry and bitter, but he spoke without any reluctance.

Eilin gave another look to Rhiannon and he noticed.

"Why did she have to come with us your Majesty?" That sounded cross.

"Rhiannon is much more than my maiden. She is my sister. I trust her with the life of my children. I needed her present." Eilin replied calmly.

"I don't want any witnesses to the fall of my house." Durar crossed his arms.

"She is a loyal family member who will take what happens here tonight to her grave." Eilin replied resolutely.

Durar lingered for a few moments. "Was she the one who forfeited the King's letter to my niece?"

"That is something that I prefer to keep private." Eilin buttoned up.

"I need to see that letter if Íth comes." Durar gave her a vexed look.

"I told you before, the letter shall be burned by Ith's hand the moment she reads it. It served only as a vessel to carry her to this appointment. I will not risk having a forfeited letter of such compromising content with my husband's seal roaming around free. That would be a folly."

Durar looked towards the shady and quiet path that led to the point of rendezvous. "She will have King Thorin's ring though, correct?"

"Most definitely." Eilin nodded.

"I suppose that will be proof enough…" Durar seemed more and more reluctant as time went by and that worried Eilin."

"You suppose?" Her eyes were penetrating.

He didn't reply.

"Your niece will attend a secret meeting with a married man and she will have his ring as a token of love. Do you believe a woman of outstanding moral code would have ever arranged such a dishonorable meeting with a father of three and moreover her King?!" Eilin's tone became demanding.

"You don't have to rub it in, my Lady." Durar reproached.

"I am not trying to offend you my Lord. You know that I hold you in high esteem. I know you must be feeling lost and betrayed at this moment, but the truth will out. I cannot allow your niece to threaten my husband in this manner, especially when everything has been her fault since the beginning. She initialed this futile effort to become intimate with him and when everything failed she ended up using such despicable intimidations. This has to end…tonight." She continued strictly.

Durar sighed and rubbed his forehead. "I understand, but let it be noted that I have misgivings about the King being unaware of this scheme…."

"Thorin has too much on his mind already my Lord and he is still recuperating from a rather serious attack. He doesn't need to concern himself with such trivialities. Besides I was thinking not only of my husband's peace of mind when I decided to keep him out of this, but I also wished to preserve the respect he has for your family." Eilin retorted shrewdly.

Durar pursed his lips disapprovingly. "That doesn't make me feel better."

Eilin held his shoulder. "We are able to solve a rather embarrassing situation without the involvement of the King. Had Thorin been aware of Ith's unfair threat against his Kingship he would have punished your family severely my Lord and you know it. The King is very austere when it comes to matters of integrity."

"Yes I am aware of that…." Durar looked at her warily.

"I am trying to protect my husband, who suffers from grave ailments and I also to help your family solve this unfortunate situation, quietly. Any kind of publicity will be bad for you and your niece." Eilin tilted her head and examined the man's face.

"I know my Lady and I thank you." Durar gave her a dejected look.

Her heart dropped. "The King would have appreciated your loyalty deeply, had he heard your words."

Durar closed his eyes and nodded quietly.

"Do you mind if I have a word with my maiden?" Eilin forced herself to smile.

"By all means." Durar said and checked the path that was growing darker now that the sun had finally set.

Eilin walked back to Rhiannon and raised her brow sourly.

"I don't like your face." Her best friend frowned.

"He is having misgivings about keeping Thorin out of this…" Eilin nodded towards the High Lord.

Rhiannon pressed her lips. "Expected, but his intention to keep the name of his family clean will keep him silent."

"Hopefully, because we also have another problem." Eilin rubbed her wrist nervously.

"Like what?" Rhiannon frowned.

"Thorin didn't go to his rooms as we had originally planned." Eilin raised her brow.

"What?!" Rhiannon exclaimed and when Durar looked back Eilin smiled at him uncomfortably and squeezed Rhiannon's wrist.

"Keep it down." She warned.

Rhiannon stared at the High Lord and then turned her blanched face at Eilin. "And you didn't think of telling me that sooner?!" She hissed.

"Would we have done things differently if you knew?" Eilin rebuked.

"He was supposed to be sleeping. He was supposed to be safely out of the way!" Rhiannon waved her hands in the air in exasperation.

"We were interrupted by the Elven King who required a word with him. I couldn't have ever interposed in such a serious meeting between the two Kings. Thorin's austere regard erased any kind of dispute from my mind. The command was clear. I curtsied and left." Eilin's rejoined.

Rhiannon cupped her forehead. "What if he catches us?" She muttered.

"We pray to Eru he doesn't. Even the most powerful Valar would be unable to save us from Thorin's wrath if he finds out what we planned today." Eilin's countenance took a plunge.

Rhiannon's shoulders deflated. "This is going to end in a disaster."

"We wouldn't have been able to change anything no matter what happened with Thorin. The note had already been delivered. Now silence, for you are making me very nervous." Eilin reproved.

"You should be….we should all be. If Thorin finds out the best possible course of action will be to find the deepest mining chasm, jump in and pray he won't follow us." Rhiannon moaned in despair.

"I know…" Eilin muttered.

"I forfeited the King's bloody signature! He is going to hang me from the nearest tree!" Rhiannon hissed.

"Shut up…for heaven's sake. The idea was mine. If we come down to that, I will take full responsibility." Eilin swallowed and felt her throat very tight.

"Eilin…" Rhiannon murmured and grabbed her hand.

"Stop it! Enough…" -Eilin gritted her teeth- "Nothing is going to happen. Íth will come, Durar will see her. He will have his proof and he will quietly send her away. Now can we please stop this scaremongering?"

Rhiannon's lips turned down and she refrained from speaking anymore as all of them stood in frozen silence, seeing the darkness slowly enveloping the path that was hidden between the large trees and the thick foliage. Eilin calmed down her mind and the wild beating of her heart, trying to convince herself that Thorin wouldn't catch them. He was too busy with the Elven King and everything was going to go as planned.

Slowly she lost track of time and began zoning out, so when she heard footsteps on the clearing she snapped out of her trance almost violently.

"Eilin!" Rhiannon grasped her arm.

"I know." She nodded and rushed next to Durar.

He turned to her fleetingly, but then his attention returned to the small elevated platform in front of the waterfalls where they all saw Íth approaching carefully. She stopped and looked around nervously. Her long blonde hair had escaped from the black hood of her summer coat and was laying in front of her stomach. Eilin saw Ith's hand twisting around her curls and instantly noticed Thorin's Ring predominant upon one of her fingers. Eilin's back crawled with anger and she prepared to tell Durar what to do, when he surprised all of them by marching in the middle of the clearing and stopping in front of her.

"Take the hood off!" Came the hard command.

Íth stared at him shocked out of her senses.

Rhiannon rushed next to Eilin who grabbed her hand and stopped her. "Wait!"

"Take your bloody hood off!" Durar thundered.

Íth didn't move.

Durar reached out and grabbed her hand. He squeezed her wrist so hard that her palm opened up and he pulled Thorin's Ring so violently that he tore her skin off. His eyes observed the Ring for several tense moments and then directed their wrath towards his niece. He pushed the hood away with aversion. "This is the King's ring! It bears his sigil!" Durar spat at her face.

Íth was pale as a ghost. "Uncle?" She muttered.

"You didn't expect me here did you? You expected him, our King?!" Durar grabbed her bicep and shook her hard enough to make all her braids come undone.

Íth cried and her face twisted in terror. "Uncle no…please."

"What is this!?" He shoved the ring at her face.

Íth shook her head wordlessly.

"This ring has the King's sigil! It is Thorin's royal ring! What was it doing on your finger?! You came to meet the King in secret?! Behind the Queen's back!? You little whore!" Durar's voice snapped like a whip.

Íth groaned and tried to get released. "Uncle…let me go…!" She cried.

Durar released her arm and grabbed her by the throat. "I am going to kill you! You disgraced our family! You disgraced your own son!"

Íth tried to unlock his fingers that felt like pincers of death and began gagging.

It was Eilin's strong grip that drew Durar away from Ith. "My Lord, our intentions tonight was to reveal your niece's betrayal and stop all those nasty threats towards my husband, not throttle her to death. Stop in the name of Mahal!"

Durar drew back dazed and panting. "She is dirty, she is foul and filthy! She destroyed the name of my house! I will end her!" He roared and then suddenly realized he was holding the Royal Ring and threw it away abhorred.

Eilin picked it up with a veneration that no one noticed and tucked it close to her heart. Then she turned to Íth who was being supported by Rhiannon. "We only confirmed the intention, we need not know anything else. Can we please all calm down?"

"Did you plan this?" Íth spat towards Eilin with unexpected anger.

Eilin frowned. "What did you expect me to do? Sit back and enjoy you threatening my husband's rule just because he didn't allow you to bed him?!"

Íth looked at the murderous eyes of Durar and then at Eilin. She pulled her arm free from Rhiannon and stumbled towards the staircase stunned.

Durar made to go after her, but Eilin stood in his way. "Please my Lord. My words were confirmed, but your reaction was hurried and not well thought. You need to remain here and calm down. I will go fetch Íth." –Then she turned to Rhiannon- "Stay with him." She commanded.

Rhiannon engaged his elbow with a determined frown.

Eilin followed Íth quickly with one last look at Durar's face, which was enwrapped in absolute and uncontrollable fury.

* * *

 

"Now!" Durin pushed Celebriel out to the corridor.

The little Elf went instantly into break-down mode and began howling to the top of her lungs as Íth lurched upon the wall to steady herself.

"Help me ….help me…please!" Celebriel shouted in despair.

Íth who was heaving looked up surprised.

"Help me …my Lady please!" Celebriel yelled and forced the tears out of her eyes with great difficulty.

Íth looked back to see if anyone was following her and thoroughly ignored the Elfling.

Celebriel came up to Íth and clasped her hand. "Please help me mam!" She hollered.

"Leave me alone child! What is wrong with you!?" Íth frowned and attempted to get her hand back, but Celebriel wouldn't have it.

"Please mam my dad is going to kill me! Help me! Please!" Celebriel bellowed.

Íth eyeballed the corridor nervously. "Isn't there someone else to help you? I need to leave."

"No mam please. I lost my necklace. It was my mother's and she gave it to me before she died. If dad finds out I lost it he is going to kill me! Help me find it please!" Celebriel tried to pull Íth away from the wall.

"Little girl, your necklace troubles are a mere nothing in front of mine. If they get me I am dead. Let me go!" Íth glared at her.

"The necklace fell at one of the wine barrels in the cellar mam. You are tall you can get it for me, but I cannot! Please!" Celebriel blared.

"Can you keep it down?!" Íth looked back terrified. The last thing she wanted was her uncle to hear all this rumble and find her.

"Please come with me! Help me!" Celebriel howled.

"Where is the wine cellar?" Íth grumbled angrily.

Celebriel's eyes twinkled. "It is at the deepest levels of the Realm, close to the prison. Not many people go down there mam. Maybe you can help me find my mom's necklace and I can help you hide from whomever is chasing you." Celebriel said cunningly.

Íth looked at her bewildered for a few moments and then her head snapped towards the corridor where she heard people running. "Fine! Take me there!" She looked at Celebriel.

Celebriel's face lit up. "Come follow me…I will show you were it is!"

Durin saw them disappearing and when he felt safe that no one was around to see him he stood up and followed them discreetly.

* * *

 

Eilin propped her elbow against the wall and tried to catch her breath when she saw a very familiar shadow at the other end of the corridor. "Durin?" She muttered confused. What was Durin doing there? He looked as if he was sneaking up on someone. Knowing everything she did about Durin's tendencies to cause trouble she felt inclined to let Íth go and focus on him instead.

Eilin hid behind the wall when her son turned around to check if he was being watched. Both Íth and Durin at that moment were important, but the fact that her son was out and about when his own father had warned him against doing his usual monkey business, made her decision easier. She glimpsed around the corner carefully and when she felt it was safe she followed him stealthily.

* * *

 

"It is down here my Lady, come." Celebriel whispered and pulled Íth by her frozen hand.

Íth looked around in terror. "Nobody is going to find me here, right?" She gazed towards the staircase expecting shadows to appear at any moment. She stretched her ears to hear her uncle shouting and the Queen trying to restraint him. The only thing in her mind right now was to hide and then to escape. She had to make it back to Erebor, get her son and leave as soon as possible. The elation she felt when she got Thorin's supposed love letter was now a yarn of horror that she didn't know how to stop from unravelling. The tight anticipation that was bubbling in her stomach at the possibility of meeting with him in secret and maybe stealing a kiss from his well-formed lips got trampled ruthlessly under her uncle's violence and the Queen's demanding presence. She had been a fool for ever believing the mighty Oakenshield would have requested a secret meeting from her, when just a week ago he was proclaiming that his heart belonged to his wife. However the longing she felt for him tricked her to believe that maybe he changed his mind in some manner…and she fell into a trap that destroyed her life and possibly the life of her son. Now the only thing her frightened mind could think of….was to escape.

"No one will mam. Only the Elves come here when they need to prepare an official dinner since these cellars hold the best wine, which is intended for the King and his guests." Celebriel said.

Íth covered her face. "Is there a way to get out of this place without anyone seeing me?"

Celebriel frowned in confusion and then she saw from the corner of her eyes the shadow of Durin at the stairs. "That's impossible. All entrances and exits are heavily guarded."

Íth exhaled hard and sat on the floor cross-legged. "I need to find a way…any way."

Celebriel gestured angrily at Durin when she saw him peaking from the corner of the stairwell and then smiled uncomfortably at Ith. "Let me think, okay?"

Íth grabbed her hair and began pulling it out in distress. "Think fast little girl…because I will soon be dead." She murmured.

Celebriel gazed at the barrels she and Durin had fixed exactly for this reason and slowly understood that maybe she could lead Íth into one of them without any tricks. Maybe this Dwarrowdam would enter a barrel by her own free will. She nibbled her bottom lip and crossed her arms in front of her thighs. "There might be a way." Her eyes twinkled.

Íth looked up readily. "Tell me!"

Celebriel smiled. "You can escape the same way Oakenshield's company did, twelve years ago."

Íth looked baffled. "How did they do that?"

Celebriel pointed at the barrels. "Barrel ride down the river."

Ith's countenance took a plunge. "Down the river, in one of these?"

"Yeah, if the gates of Lúthien are open, the river will lead you close to the Lake of Esgaroth. You can walk back to Erebor that way and no one will see you leaving." Celebriel rejoined.

"But that will be dangerous. I mean are these strong enough to hold?" Íth stood up and approached the barrels.

"You didn't ask for the safest way out of here, but for the most secretive." Celebriel reasoned.

"You little smart ass." Íth mumbled.

"No need to swear." Celebriel frowned.

Íth checked inside one of the barrels. "I don't think that's a good idea, no." She shook her head dismissively and walked to the middle of the cellar again.

Durin waved at Celebriel behind Ith's back.

Celebriel flayed her arms and when Íth noticed her she smiled nervously.

"What are you doing?" Íth scowled.

"I …uhm…thought I heard footsteps." Celebriel said and pointed towards the stairs.

Durin got the message and walked up several steps slowly. Then he began stomping.

Íth blanched and grabbed Celebriel's arm. "Shit they are coming."

"Who is?" Celebriel pretended to be interested.

"Quick hide me!" She looked around in a panic.

Celebriel pointed at the barrels. "Get in one of those!"

Íth hurried and squeezed herself in the first one she found. Then she pushed the girl away. "Is it my uncle?"

"Who is your uncle?" Celebriel frowned.

"Durar…for heaven's sake girl. He is one of Erebor's High Lords." Íth spat in frustration.

"I don't know him mam." Celebriel frowned.

"Wait, weren't I supposed to help you find a necklace in here somewhere?" Íth remembered and looked at the bottom of the barrel.

"Ah…yeah well…about that…" Celebriel hesitated with an uncomfortable smile.

Durin kept on stomping with a huge grin on his face, when suddenly out of nowhere a finger poked his shoulder. He froze and gulped audibly.

"What are you doing young man?" Eilin asked.

Durin paled and turned around slowly to meet his mother's stern eyes. "Mom?"

"In the flesh. What is all this?" Eilin raised her brow.

Durin took a step back and shook his head in denial. "Nothing mom."

"Durin, don't play with me!" She snapped.

"Mom…no…stay back!" Durin shouted very much on purpose to alert Celebriel.

The Elfling looked up sharply. "Mom? Did he say mom?"

"Who said mom?" Íth poked her head out of the barrel.

"What in the name of Mahal are you doing down here, speak!" Eilin's voice filled the cellar.

"It's the Queen! Pull the lever. Open the trap-door!" Íth clutched her hair and her eyes filled with terror.

Celebriel was staring at Durin who was walking the stairs backwards. "Durin!?" She muttered.

Íth grabbed her sleeve. "Release the trap-door you silly girl! The Queen must not catch me! Do it now!"

Celebriel looked at Eilin that appeared behind the rounded column of the stairwell and then at the barrels. Then she looked at the lever and hurried towards it.

"Pull it!" Íth bellowed.

Eilin glared at Celebriel. "You are here too?"

The Elfling cringed and with one last look at Ith's panicked face, she pulled the lever. The trapdoor opened and released Ith's barrel along with several others into the frothing waters below with a great splash, which was not loud enough to cover Ith's terrified howl.

Eilin drew Celebriel away from the trap-door that was swinging freely under their feet. "Who was in that!?"

"Íth?" Celebriel recoiled.

"Why did you throw her in the river?!" Eilin grabbed her hair.

Celebriel's mouth was so dry she was barely able to utter the words. "She asked me to do so mam!"

"For heaven sake!" Eilin pushed her son out of the way and dashed up the stairs, half-way out of her mind.

Celebriel started at Durin stupidly for several moments before he grabbed her by the arm and hurried after his mother.

* * *

 

"The river, show me the road that leads to the river!" Eilin shook the tall Elven guard by the shoulders.

"This way my Lady." He pointed at the path that she was to take and she gave herself momentum by pushing him so hard, he crashed against a column.

Eilin didn't even remember the last time she had ran so fast and with so much desperation. Her legs almost floated above the ground and her hands lifted up her long dress so as not to get it tangled upon the prickly bushes. Her heart was drumming in her ears, the side of her ribs was on fire and she was struggling for breath. Her mind was thrown into a panicked confusion as it tried to discern the reason she was running this fast for.

After being so ruthlessly raped, running and fainting became her two main coping mechanism when she was in close proximity to men and her terror kicked in. The ability to flee always empowered her in some manner for it was something she could control during a time when she didn't have any other control in her life. Once she came under Dis' employment she never needed to use her ability to sprint like a sprite again. So now that she was following the river between the low bushes and the sparse trees she felt out of space and time. Her mind kept switching between the terror that always caused her to run in the past and the dire need to locate that stupid girl who was certainly going to drown. So caught up she was in her chase that she didn't hear Durin's voice as he tried to catch up with her. She scratched her upper arm on a thick branch and didn't even notice. Another scratch bloodied her cheek and she wiped it away ignoring the stinging pain.

Her eyes darted at the distance, trying to locate the barrel and when she finally saw it her heart fell and she moaned out loud. Several broken planks were swirling violently between two rocks, caught in a small yet intense whirlpool of frothing waters. Eilin jumped over rocks and tree roots in order to get there quickly and choked a scream when she noticed a patch of blonde hair floating above the waters next to the tumbling pieces of wood.

She hissed and undid her corset, which she quickly discarded. Then she took off her boots and without even hearing Durin's terrified shout, she took a perfect dive into the cold waters. The rough river flow instantly drew her under, but the strength of her legs and arms helped her swim efficiently across until she could grab one of the boulders that was jutting out from the surface.

"Íth!" She yelled, but her voice was barely heard above the sound of the angry waters. She couldn't take her eyes away from that blonde patch of floating hair as she forced herself forth and her stomach squeezed in alarm. She didn't want to dive under the waters and see Ith's blue face, neither did she want to drag out her dead body. She only meant to protect Thorin, not kill this woman. When she finally reached the planks she freed them with great effort and allowed them to drift down the violent current.

She took a deep breath and dove under, yet she could barely see anything due to the foamy whirlpool, so she fingered around the rock trying to understand where Íth was. Just as she was about to go up for more air her fingers scraped past the soft material of Ith's dress. She gritted her teeth and pulled it, but it didn't budge. Eilin groaned in frustration and swam up to replenish her air supply. The second time she dove she knew where to search and she came face to face with Ith, who released an explosion of air bubbles as she screamed for help.

Eilin grabbed her cheeks and crushed her mouth upon Ith's. She blew all the air that she was holding right into Ith's lungs. The Dwarrowdam nodded and pointed towards her leg that was trapped under a rock. Eilin gesticulated that she understood and came up once more. She inhaled deeply to satisfy her lungs and then repeated the procedure with Ith, before swimming further down in order to release the woman's leg. Eilin stuck her right hand under the rock and gritted her teeth as she pushed with all her might. The rock barely moved, but it was enough to release Ith's leg and Eilin pushed her up. However before she could remove her hand, the rock slid from her grip and slashed her forearm. The water filled with blood and Eilin felt the pain tear straight through her heart. She kicked the river bed and swam up to the surface, desperate to breathe.

Íth was clutching one of the rocks, gasping and moaning. Her lips were blue and her eyes dazed. Eilin looked at her bloody forearm and spat a curse between her teeth. "Grab my shoulders!" She shouted.

Íth looked at her confused.

Eilin managed to load Íth on her back despite her heavily bleeding forearm. "I said hold on tight, but don't wrap your arms around my neck or we will both go down again. Do you understand!?"

"Yes…" Íth croaked.

Eilin hauled both of them by the rocks and then gathered all her strength and swam the remaining distance with Íth on her back half-conscious.

It was Durin and Celebriel who helped them get out of the river and when Eilin felt the hardness of the ground under her knees she lay down exhausted with a huge sigh of relief. "Mom are you alright!?" Durin looked at the blood that was gashing down her hand with tears in his eyes.

"Yes, I am fine. How is she?" Eilin looked sideways at the Dwarrowdam.

"She is okay mam." Celebriel said as she whacked Ith's back who was coughing and spurting out water from her mouth and nose.

Durin took off his vest and wrapped it around his mother's arm. Then he made a very tight knot that caused her to hiss. "Not so tight…for heaven's sake." She admonished.

"Mom, it's deep! We need to stop the blood!" Durin frowned angrily.

"The blood will eventually stop. Help me up…" She gave him her hand.

Durin helped her and Eilin crawled towards Íth. She shook her by the shoulder. "Are you alright you stupid girl!? Talk to me!"

Íth nodded and coughed…then she nodded again and spat out more water. "I am al-right." She gasped.

Eilin moaned and her head dropped heavily between her arms. "For Mahal's sake...that was a very close call."

Durin was shaking heavily. "I am sorry mommy, we didn't mean to cause so much trouble."

Eilin frowned in confusion. "You didn't anything my love."

"No you don't understand." Durin shook his head and grabbed her around the waist tightly.

Eilin caressed his long hair away from his face and kissed his brow. "Can you calm down please? We are all fine. "

Celebriel sat heavily next to Íth and wiped away the tears that sprang from her eyes. "We are sorry mam…" She muttered.

"I am so sorry mom…" -Durin bellowed- "I only wanted to give her a lesson. I didn't want to hurt her."

Íth looked up at that and wiped the saliva that was trickling down her chin.

Eilin's brow creased. "Wait a minute. What are you two talking about? Lady Íth asked Celebriel to pull the lever, correct?"

Íth was looking baffled from one to the other.

"Yes, but that was not our original plan!" Durin protested and rubbed his face on his mom's stomach.

Eilin gulped down a whole bout of unease and caressed his back firmly. "Plan?"

Durin nodded. "I had a plan to ridicule this woman for messing with my dad and you. I heard everything the day you spoke with Lord Durar and after that I decided to make her pay for everything she did to our family!"

Eilin felt all the blood draining from her face and her fingers clutched his back. "You were eavesdropping on me and Durar?"

Durin nodded fiercely. "I decided to lure this woman in the wine cellar and make her take a barrel ride down the river. I wanted to scare her away from our family and make her pay for everything she made you and dad go through."

Eilin closed her eyes and pulled him in for a fierce hug. "Oh hell…"

"I didn't know she couldn't swim…I didn't want her to die!" Durin spluttered.

Eilin kissed his forehead ardently. "Hush, calm down my heart."

"That is why you wanted to lure me into the cellar in order to find your mom's necklace?" Íth sounded incredulous.

Celebriel looked away. "Yes, mam."

Ith's face turned crimson. "Wasn't I ridiculed enough by my uncle and the Queen tonight? I also had to be targeted by you little rascals?"

"I don't think you have the right to say anything on the matter, for you were the one who begged to be thrown in." Eilin voice held a tone of caution.

"I was afraid you were going to catch me and send me back to my uncle. He was so mad at me and ready to kill me! You saw how he almost throttled me to death and it all started because of you. You arranged that meeting with him. For the love of heaven…you set me up…" Íth looked at the Queen in disbelief.

"You had the nerve to threaten my husband. Did you not expected me to retaliate? Whoever touches my family, pays dearly. I would have never allowed you to stain my husband's impeccable reputation just because you didn't get what you wanted out of him. It is your job now to figure out how to explain to Lord Durar what you did to the King." Eilin's voice was austere.

Íth tried to hold the Queen's eyes for several tense moment, but then her anger quickly abated. She closed her eyes and her shoulders slouched. "You saved my life."

Eilin glared at her indignantly.

"You jeopardized your life to save me…." Íth repeated miserably.

"Don't make me regret it." Eilin continued with the same grave tone.

"Thank you…." Ith's voice was diminished.

Eilin glared at her and kissed Durin's head. "You don't know how to swim. What in the name of heaven were you thinking?"

"I wanted to escape. I was not thinking properly. I thought the barrel would hold up." Came the defeated answer.

Eilin pursed her lips and looked at Celebriel who was caressing Durin's back with eyes full of sadness. "You didn't have any misgivings about pulling that lever young lady, did you?"

"No. This woman was hurting Durin, by hurting you. I wanted to protect him." Celebriel didn't hesitate.

Eilin closed her eyes. "If your fathers learn about what happened here they will never allow you to see each other ever again. Durin you will be grounded for life."

"I don't care. I wanted to protect you and dad!" Durin rebuked.

"Your heart was in the right place, but as usual your mind didn't think things through." -Eilin said, then she turned to Ith- "You feel better?"

Íth nodded and wiped her nose with the back of her hand.

"Can you breathe alright?" Eilin continued.

Another weak nod.

"Come let me help you back to your rooms. Oin needs to have a look at you." Eilin made to get up when a heavy voice made them all freeze.

"You little trollop!" Durar was marching menacingly down the rough pathway towards them.

Íth screeched and used Eilin to cover herself. "Hide me, please!" She begged.

Eilin groaned as she forced herself to stand up. "My Lord Durar, please…stop. I really have had enough for one day, I swear."

Durar halted in front of her. "I demand to be given full control over my traitor niece, your Majesty. Don't stand in my way" –He warned angrily, but then his eyes rolled down to Eilin's bloody forearm- "Are you alright?"

"I am fine. Now can we all calm down? It was your explosive anger that brought us to this almost sinister outcome, which I swear is even worse than my husband's! Your niece almost drowned just now."

Durar's face fell at that and he looked behind Eilin's back. "What?!"

Íth cowered away from him. "Don't hit me please uncle. I am sorry for everything…."

Durar's countenance broke when he saw her pale face and the purple veins that created a marble effect on her porcelain skin. "What did you do you silly girl?"

Íth was frozen and shaking from head to foot. "I panicked…I acted unwisely….the Queen saved me."

Durar looked at Eilin who was cradling now both kids. "You saved her?"

"She cannot swim well now, can she? She and her son are long due for some proper swimming lessons! They have caused my family a lot of grief in various ways and one of them is their inability to float!" Eilin thundered, feeling annoyed to the bone.

"How did you end up in the water?!" Durar pulled Íth in his arms.

She began sobbing and mumbling incomprehensibly.

Durin made to answer Durar's question, but his mother's hand landed on his cheek and pressed it firmly. "Quiet." She whispered.

It took Íth several tries to stammer half-heartedly. "I asked the little Elven lady to open the trap door, because I was afraid of your reaction if you caught up with me."

Durar closed his eyes. "I was beside myself when I realized what you did, but I would have never harmed you."

Eilin intervened with authority. "We all need to get a grip and return back to our rooms. We are all wet, tired and hurt. We need Lord Oin to check on Íth."

Durar nodded. "Of course my Lady."

"We also need to keep our anger and frustration at bay until we figure this whole mess out, alright?" Eilin continued.

Everybody nodded in agreement and she got ready to lead the way back home, when they heard fast footsteps coming down from the small hill. Eilin looked up to see a disheveled Rhiannon pointing behind her in terror and yelling something. "What's wrong?" Eilin muttered with a frown.

A moment later the imposing presence of her husband appeared and Eilin felt the world coming to a screeching halt. "Oh…hell…" she whispered and pressed the kids at her sides in order to draw strength from them.

"Dad?" Durin looked up from his mom's stomach with a confused frown.

"Oh, Mahal give me strength." Durar paled and drew Íth closer, who began crying harder than ever.

Rhiannon stopped in front of Eilin and grabbed her shoulders. "He-is-coming!" She gasped.

Eilin gritted her teeth and braced for the impact. "Not a word from you kids. Do you understand?"

Both children were completely frozen, looking at the formidable King walking calmly down the path. With every step Thorin took, the rest of the group seemed to take one step back and everyone held their breaths.

When he finally stopped in front of them, no one dared to address him. Thorin looked at Durar who was diligently avoiding eye contact. He beheld Íth who was weeping by Durar's side. Then his eyes fell on Durin who was peering nervously from his mother's stomach and at Celebriel who was looking at her crossed hands. He raised his brow at Rhiannon who was fidgeting with the frills on her sleeves and finally met the only pair of eyes that were not afraid to hold his heavy stare. His brow arched in inch more and his gaze rolled down on Eilin's wounded forearm. That was the only moment his brow creased ever so slightly, but that didn't last long. Then he raised his eyes coldly at his wife once more. "Well…this is an unexpected sight to be sure." He drawled.

"What are you doing here?" She felt her throat constricting.

"A mortified guard found me in the throne room and related to me that my wife was chasing a barrel down the river. You can see how that information sparked my interest and I decided to stop my serious conversation with two of the most important Elven Lords of Middle Earth in order to come and witness this myself." Thorin replied coldly.

No one spoke.

"So…anyone care to explain?" His voice resonated heavily.

Eilin stiffened and got prepared to speak when all of a sudden it felt as if the skies opened up and everyone began ranting uncontrollably.

"Dad it was my fault!" Durin took a step forth bravely.

"Your mom told you to shut it!" Celebriel pushed him back.

"Don't speak Durin!" Eilin snapped angrily.

"It was not Durin's fault Sir, this woman asked me to pull the lever!" Celebriel pointed at Ith.

"I did it because I panicked!" Íth rebuked with eyes full of terror.

"It was my fault for scaring you so bad, I just got so angry! You could have died." Durar grumbled.

"I am sorry uncle! Forgive me for everything I did!" Íth shouted.

"Lady you had a death wish if you chose to fall into the river without knowing how to swim." Celebriel scowled at Ith.

"But this young man just said that was your plan for me all along!" Íth yelled.

"Well we didn't know you were a useless swimmer!" Durin returned.

On and on it went….sentences jumping out of nowhere, words that meant nothing by themselves, voices that tried to explain, to excuse, to forgive or be forgiven. Everybody was talking apart from Eilin and Thorin who held each other's gaze with bated breaths.

It was his booming voice that stopped this pandemonium. "Silence!"

Everyone inhaled sharply and even nature around them fell quiet in front of Thorin's command. He remained haughtily still in front of them for several tense moments before speaking once more. "I expect no one to speak out of turn and I demand the words that come out of your mouths from now on to make…relative sense. Is that clear?"

Everyone nodded…Eilin didn't. She was frozen looking at his face with a mixture of dread and adoration.

Thorin turned to Durar and Íth. "First and foremost, what are you two doing here? I don't remember inviting you over."

Durar looked at Eilin and then at Íth. Íth stared at Eilin and then at her uncle, but no one spoke.

Thorin tilted his head. "I see…no one is willing to solve that mystery for me."

Not a single word was heard.

"Very well. What exactly happened to your niece my Lord Durar?" Thorin frowned.

Durar paled. "I …suppose she fell into the river."

"You suppose?" Thorin cringed.

Durar swallowed nervously. "I mean she fell in the river."

"How?" Thorin's voice held a low growl that tensed Eilin's back.

Durar looked at the Queen and then at his hands, uncertain of what to say. "I was not present my King. I do not know."

Celebriel's inhalation as she got prepared to speak, was stopped austerely by Thorin's raised hand. "No one speaks out of turn." He said with a ferocious side-glance that made the girl snuggle close to Eilin.

Eilin smiled encouragingly at the little Elfling and squeezed her shoulder. "It's okay." She whispered.

Celebriel nodded and her bottom lip quivered as she witnessed Thorin's aggressiveness unfolding for the first time ever since she met him.

Thorin turned to Ith. "How did you end up in the river my Lady?"

Íth looked at her hands and her knuckles turned white from the tension. She felt sweat breaking on her forehead and looked at the Queen for several painful moments before muttering. "The Queen saved my life…"

Thorin raised his brow. "That was not my question."

Íth nodded and closed her eyes, without noticing the cautious look that Eilin offered her. "I don't …remember." She murmured.

"You don't remember how you ended up in the river…." Thorin's voice gained a mocking quality that made Eilin's hands grow numb. She knew how vicious he could become when he was in that mood.

Íth looked fleetingly at the Queen and then at her uncle and licked her lips. "No." She stammered.

Thorin turned to Durin. "Maybe you remember how this young lady ended up in the river, son…" His words held an air of caution.

"Can you keep the children out of this, please?" Eilin looked up at him bravely.

"Didn't they witness what happened or aren't they standing by your side perchance? Perhaps I misheard you warning them to keep silent a few moments ago…" Thorin crossed his hands behind his back and dropped his chin.

Celebriel got ready to speak again, but Eilin pressed her shoulder tightly. "After what happened with Elrohir I think it is wise for us to leave the kids out of this. They were just innocent bystanders."

Íth got ready to intervene, but Durar's hand fell on her forearm steadfastly. "I wouldn't say anything if I were you." He advised.

Íth closed her eyes and choked a sob.

"Did the children witness what happened?" Thorin repeated with a much deeper voice.

Eilin felt her back stiffening. "No."

"We did dad!" Durin intervened.

Eilin turned at her son. "Can you please stop?"

"No mom we need to tell him the truth." Durin pointed at his father.

"What you need to do is take Rhiannon's hand and go home. Now!" Eilin's voice was grave.

Rhiannon instantly came into action and took over both kids.

"Take them back to your rooms." Eilin rejoined strictly.

As they walked past the King Durin grabbed his father's sleeve. "Dad don't punish mom. She didn't do anything wrong. Come talk to me first, please. She saved Ith's life and hurt her arm in the process. It was all my fault…everything." Durin bellowed.

"Go to your rooms' young man! Enough! This is between me and your father! Not another word!" Eilin thundered.

Durin blanched and followed his nanny with eyes full of tears.

Thorin turned around and observed Rhiannon as she led the kids away, but he didn't try to interfere with his wife's orders. Instead he turned around and held her fiery gaze for several moments. "Since half the witnesses are unwilling to speak and the other half just got eliminated by you my Queen, are you perhaps willing to tell me what happened here today?"

Eilin cleared her throat. "I will tell you everything and I will also take full responsibility."

"However I will listen to only one side of the story and not all of them. Do you find that just?" Thorin reproved stonily.

Eilin felt her stomach dropping. "Whatever happened here today was my fault and you must trust me to speak of the truth my King."

Thorin's eyes slashed through her soul with an ease she hated and loved at the same time, but she held his gaze despite feeling her knees weak. When he looked away she felt as if the weight of the world got lifted from her shoulders. "My Lord Durar, lead your niece to your rooms and I will come shortly to have a word with both of you."

Eilin's heart fell and she closed her eyes.

Durar pulled Íth by the arm and as she passed by the King she gave him a miserable look that Eilin didn't see.

When the King and the Queen finally remained alone in front of the river shore, the silence was overbearing. She didn't dare open her eyes as her poor heart was thudding under her chest, trying to escape Thorin's fury.

"So this was your plan for the evening?" Thorin's voice sounded so cold that Eilin shuddered in denial.

She gritted her teeth, but didn't answer.

"You have a lot to explain." He continued with the same tone.

"I will hide nothing, my King." Her hands became tight fists and he noticed.

Thorin looked away towards the river and his brow creased. "Your side of the story shall not be the only one I am going to listen to. Go back to our rooms and I will come to you when I am ready."

"My side of the story must be heard first! Whom will you trust to tell you the truth Thorin? Your wife or Ith? Or perhaps a pair of easily impressionable children who are in deep shock from witnessing a woman almost drown tonight?"

"Enough…" He glared at her.

Eilin swallowed with great difficulty and felt her stomach twisting so painfully she felt instant nausea overtaking her. She didn't even think of trying to get on his good side or start an argument when he was like that. She inclined her head proudly. "As you wish my King." She murmured and tried to walk past him.

His long fingers wrapped around her bicep and stopped her. "What happened to your arm?"

"My arm is not as important as you listening to what I have to tell you." Her voice lost all its hardness and became almost beseeching.

"When the time comes, I will. Go." He released her and the cold derision of his tone twisted her stomach around mercilessly.

"My King." She curtsied respectfully and walked away, praying that she wouldn't break down in front of him and that she would be strong enough to take over responsibility about everything that took place. She did not intend to tell him how close his rule came to being destroyed by Íth as she didn't want to betray Lord Durar's faith in her…and she wasn't ever going to reveal to her husband that their son had created an elaborate plan to throw Íth in the river and endanger her life just in order to avenge his family. No one was going to be compromised today….no one apart from her.

She kept asking herself as she walked away if she was prepared to take on the overwhelming heat and ultimate rejection from the man she loved most in the world...

She had no answer for that...and that scared her more than anything else.


	32. The biggest mistake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a little tired tonight so I might have missed more mistakes than usual. Please forgive me.

 

Thorin remained by the river shore for a long time after everyone left, trying to figure out exactly what had taken place. When the guards notified him about the Queen chasing after a barrel his initial reaction was to chuckle in disbelief. When the guard insisted, Thorin slowly lost his smile and abandoned both Elven Lords and their conversation about the fate of Middle Earth in order to go after her. The last thing he was expecting to see when he arrived was Íth and Lord Durar, alongside Durin and the Elfling, looking as if they had just been caught with their hands in a chest full of stolen gems.

All his initial confusion got wiped out when his eyes noticed the bloody bandage on Eilin's arm. Every protective thread his heart owned rushed to shield her, but the King in him put a full stop to all his instinctual reactions sternly. His need to understand what happened and put a label to every emotion he saw written in every pair of eyes that avoided him, was too intense to overlook.

When he asked them to explain what was happening, a mash-up of confused sentences that made no sense spilled over him. He tried to take over, but it was clear that the one who called all the shots this evening, was his Queen. When he realized that her presence alone was enough to silence the High Lord and after she send away the kids he felt anger slowly rising in him. However Thorin's need to respect her in front of the others won over his need to force his assertiveness. Therefore he remained silent, waiting for her to decide where this was going to go.

When she boldly took full responsibility of today's events, his initial reaction was to lash out on her and demand the truth. Yet he took another look at her bloody arm and then a step back in order to calm down the rising anger in him, which awoke when he understood that Eilin's plans with Rhiannon that evening had resulted in near tragedy for a woman that was not supposed to be here in the first place. The more he thought about all this, the less sense it made and the angrier he became.

It took the King several moments to come to a decision, but when he began walking back home he already knew his destination. He owed it to the friendship he had with Durar to make sure that his niece was alright and also to understand their side of the story, before facing his wife…because that confrontation was surely going to be the fiercest of them all. As he entered the Elven Realm once again with a mind that was overflowing with pressing thoughts the first man he came across was Balin.

"Saw you dashing through the gates, but I was not fast enough to keep up with you. What happened?" Balin grabbed Thorin's shoulder.

"That is something that I also wish to understand." Thorin muttered.

"Why did you leave the meeting with Thranduil and Elrond in such a hurry?" Balin frowned.

"In order to attend a rather peculiar scene by river shore." Thorin returned.

"What scene?" Balin caressed his long-beard.

Thorin pursed his lips. "Did you know that Durar was here along with is niece?"

Balin blanched.

"You did." Thorin nodded and placed his hands on his thick belt vexed.

"I am sorry laddie, then Queen begged me to keep his presence a secret." Balin looked at him regretfully.

"A secret from me?" Thorin raised his brow.

Balin couldn't answer.

"Whose advisor are you anyway? Whom do you serve?" Thorin continued strictly.

"You since the beginning of time…" Balin said.

Thorin pursed his lips.

"….but I am also loyal to your wife. The Queen is wise and acted very prudently with the Elven King when you were in oblivion. I didn't think that keeping Durar's arrival here a secret was such a big deal. She had some business with him apparently and it was not my place to pry in her private conversations." Balin rejoined.

"No, you reserve your indiscretion only for me." Thorin sounded dry.

Balin crossed his arms. "Oh, come on now…"

"Eilin called Durar here." That was not a question.

Balin nodded. "Yes."

"When?" Thorin frowned.

"Shortly after Lady Ith's arrival." Balin crossed his arms thoughtfully.

"Who called that strumpet here?" Thorin's crawled with a fresh wave of anger.

"I don't know, but the moment she arrived she asked to speak with the Queen." Balin rejoined.

"Did they meet in private?" Thorin's eyes thinned distrustfully.

Another nod from Balin. "Indeed they did."

"Durar's presence here was not by chance. Something happened between Íth and Eilin." Thorin murmured and got ready to ask Balin if he knew were Durar's rooms were, when a piercing voice made him turn around.

"Where is my daughter?! What have you done with her again?!" Elrohir walked up to Thorin's face full of uncontrollable fury.

Thorin flared his shoulders and looked up proudly. "Slow down, because I am still raw from what happened at the cellar and this time my son is not here to stay my hand." He rumbled.

That didn't seem to slow down Elrohir's indignant advance. "Where is Celebriel? The guards informed me that she was involved in an incident by the river with your son. What did that troublemaker do to her now!?"

Thorin raised his arm so quickly and so unexpectedly that neither Balin nor Elrohir were able to react. He grabbed the Elven Lord by the lapels and pulled him brutally down to his level. "Didn't I just tell you to change your tone?!" He thundered.

Elrohir tried to release himself, but despite their difference in height the King proved to own a very strong hold. "Let me loose!" He spat.

"Alter your tone and the words you use for my son before I rearrange the position of your teeth towards the back of your head!" Thorin warned.

Balin grabbed the King's muscular bicep and tried to restraint him. "Please laddie let him go! We don't want a rancor with the Elves and more so with Elrond's son. What's gotten into you?!"

"My day was hard and my patience runs thin. Now state your question again more respectfully…" Thorin ignored Balin thoroughly and brought his face down on Elrohir's darkly.

Balin tried to jerk him back, but Thorin was as immovable as a stone block. "Come on lad…don't make things worse than they already are."

"You have some nerve!" Elrohir spat and raised his hand to push Thorin away.

The King blocked Elrohir’s attack easily and quickly locked his wrist in a steel grip. He then twisted his arm so hard and in such an unnatural position that the Elven Lord was brought down to his knees with an abysmal howl of pain that echoed through the corridors. "Now you are exactly where you should be...kneeling." Thorin raised his brow.

Elrohir's eyes were spitting fire, but he was unable to get released from Thorin's painful grip and stand up without breaking his wrist in the process. "Stop this immediately!" He spat.

"Keep your hands respectfully away from me, because my retaliation will cost you dearly. Moreover don't ever let me catch you addressing my wife, my children or me disrespectfully again for you will regret the day you were born. I can easily snap your wrist like a twig and I am not going to hesitate because you are Elrond's son. Don't mess with me or my family, is that clear?"

Elrohir hissed in anguish. "For Eru's sake yes-yes…stop this!"

"We don't like each other one bit, but our kids have nothing to do with our problems. I would keep what happened here, between us." Thorin's voice held a shadow of warning that didn't go to waste.

Elrohir's face contracted in pain. "Yes, fine…now let me go!"

"If you wish to be responsible for singlehandedly destroying our alliance continue acting with the same disrespectful attitude towards me. I promised your father I will give you another chance and that is what I am doing." Thorin snarled.

"Chance? You are moments away from breaking my arm!" Elrohir grumbled.

Thorin's lips twisted in a vicious smile. "Exactly...I haven't broken it yet, have I? At this moment I am giving you a chance to continue having your hand intact along with your pride relatively unharmed. I am also still offering you the ability to use our allegiance for weapons, troops and easy passages through our lands. Tread carefully." -Balin wiped the sweat from his forehead and his eyes darted between the two men. Thorin gave his friend a strict side-glance and then he twisted Elrohir's wrist a little bit more- "Do you understand?"

The Elf howled in pain. "Enough…I understand…enough please!"

Thorin released him and the Elven Lord stumbled away from him panting and cradling his hand. His face was bright red both from embarrassment, but also from the severe pain he went through. He opened his mouth, but Thorin raised his hand.

"Take care how you phrase yourself." He warned and the prominent muscles of his forearm flexed visibly.

Elrohir's eyes fell there fleetingly. He cleared his throat and straightened his dress proudly. "Where is my daughter?"

"With my son." Thorin rejoined coldly.

"I was informed they participated in a rather dangerous situation by the river shore. Something that I believe was rather inappropriate after what happened in the wine cellar. I thought we have reached some kind of understanding that Lord Durin would stop acting irresponsibly around my daughter." Elrohir's voice was slightly broken, yet he tried to keep all the courtesy that his heart could master when addressing the King of the North after that unexpectedly brutal showdown.

"I don't know what the guards told you, but my wife was escorting the children along with a lady from my court and one of the Seven Lords and nothing dangerous took place. Both kids are in my maiden's rooms safe. You can go and check on them yourself." Thorin rebuked coldly.

Elrohir looked around him confused. "Celebriel and Lord Durin didn't get involved in any mischiefs again?"

"Not that I know off." Thorin rebuked calmly.

Balin licked his lips nervously.

Elrohir cleared his throat and straightened his hair in obvious awkwardness. "And they are in your rooms?"

"My maiden's quarters…playing. You can escort me there in order to pick up your daughter." Thorin pointed towards the corridor and allowed him precedence.

Elrohir was thrown off tracks once again. He thrust his chin up haughtily and began walking in front of the King, but soon Thorin’s silently imposing presence forced Elrohir to slow down and align with him. "Indeed our relationship is rather turbulent and I wouldn’t mind never seeing you again, but since our children have become such good friends I have to inform you that I am leaving with Celebriel tomorrow."

Thorin pursed his lips and his countenance hardened. "You managed to punish the children in the end, didn't you?"

"I will not enter a debate with you about proper parenthood. I just want Celebriel to stay away from any Dwarfish influence." Elrohir rebuked.

"Is that your idea of politeness? Do you want a repetition of what happened before?" Thorin spat dryly.

"Calm down lad." Balin whispered.

Thorin's blazing blue eyes seared into Elrohir's forcing him to think his words more carefully this time. "She needs a calmer environment your Majesty. I am not alluding that Dwarfish influence is bad…merely more spirited than Celebriel needs right now."

Balin pursed his lips and raised his brow.

Thorin's nose flared. "What you are doing is a great folly and a big injustice to both children, but it is something I cannot control."

"Your disagreement is respectfully noted." Elrohir rejoined haughtily.

"But not truly heard." Thorin rebuked with even more loftiness.

Elrohir didn't reply.

Thorin's gait became more aggressive and his countenance more forbidding as he took leadership of the remaining walk down to Rhiannon's door without waiting either for Balin nor Elrohir. When the maiden opened up, Elrohir allowed the King to go through first.

"Dad, what are you doing here?" Celebriel's face became white as a ghost when she saw him.

"I heard some rumors about you participating in some shady situations at the river shore today." Elrohir looked at her suspiciously.

"No dad we didn't do anything! I swear it was this woman who…" Celebriel rushed to her father, but Thorin's heavy hand fell upon her shoulder and made her stop.

"I informed your father that the gathering at the river was pre-planned by our family and that nothing out of place happened there. Neither anything suspicious happened before we met at the river nor after. The guards had mistaken a simple family gathering with friends as some form of misadventure. Something that might be understandable if one takes into consideration my wife's daring attitude towards swimming." Thorin's eyes held so much depth the Elfling fell under his spell immediately.

She nodded mesmerized. "Yes Sir."

Elrohir came over and caressed her hair. "So nothing happened at the river?"

"No dad." Celebriel looked at Thorin, silently requesting confirmation.

He gave her a discreet nod.

"What were you doing down there?" Elrohir cleared her silver-golden hair away from her eyes gently.

"Picnic." Celebriel said flatly.

"Picnic…?" Elrohir frowned.

Celebriel nodded.

"Did you have a good time?" her father continued.

"Very good dad!" Celebriel smiled, but it looked forced.

Elrohir pressed his lips and took his daughter's hand. "Very well, listen I didn't want to ruin your fun times with Lord Durin, but we need to prepare for our journey."

"Do I have to go now?" Celebriel's face fell.

"Yes." Came the hard reply.

Celebriel's sad eyes turned to Durin. "I have to go. I am sor-ry." She stammered.

Durin's eyes welled. "I know."

"You will have your chance to say goodbye to your friend before we leave, don't worry. Now come on." Elrohir pulled her to the door.

Thorin gritted his teeth and his forearms contracted angrily. Balin felt the tension in him and pressed his shoulder. "No Thorin…enough." He whispered.

Celebriel turned and waved at Durin with tears in her eyes. "Bye…"

Durin raised his hand. "Bye…"

"Don't act like this is the end of the world, you are truly angering me." Elrohir sounded annoyed as he opened the door.

"I will come say goodbye to you before I leave. I promise!" Celebriel yelled at Durin and grabbed the casing.

Durin nodded disheartened.

Elrohir pulled her roughly and when the door closed the silence that ruled the atmosphere was heavy. Durin sat at the couch dejected and looked towards the floor.

Thorin gazed at Rhiannon. "Go to my rooms and check on Eilin. Find Oin on your way there and tell him to take good care of her arm."

Rhiannon looked up. "I would like to stay with the little Lord."

Thorin nodded towards the door. "You have done enough here. Go." The command was clear.

Rhiannon offered one long repentant look at Durin and knelt in front of him. She grabbed his hands tightly. "Are you going to be okay little man?"

Durin nodded wordlessly.

Rhiannon kissed him firmly on the cheek and then turned to Thorin. "Whatever you hear from the young Prince, from Lord Durar or from Eilin my Lord remember one thing."

Thorin started at her expressionless.

"It was I who forfeited your signature. I made what happened today possible. The punishment must fall on me. Not upon this youngling who did nothing more than try to help you, nor at Eilin who was only trying to protect you. I am the one who is responsible for tonight's tragedy." -Rhiannon stood up boldly in front of the King whose empty expression wasn't altered a bit by her brave words- "Don't tell me you hadn't been expecting me to prove my disloyalty at some point my Lord. I was and still am a woman that was paid for her intimate services. I don't know how to belong to your kin and moreover how to serve royalty. I am a villain. Remember…." –She gritted her teeth- "I forged your signature! I deserve prison or even death….just don't touch Eilin and the Prince…They had nothing to do with what happened today." –Her face fell and her body deflated at that thought- "….please…"

Durin stood up and pushed her back. "Are you silly? Stop lying to my father!"

Rhiannon frowned down at him. "I am not lying little Lord and you know it."

Durin's face set and his eyes gained that unnerving quality that could silence everyone no matter how taller or older they were from him. "You heard my father's command. Now heed mine! Silence your mouth and leave!"

Rhiannon paled and after disengaging Durin's tempestuous eyes she turned to the King. "Your Majesty the little one is just trying to protect me, because he knows I am speaking of the truth …I swear."

"I heard what you said. Now leave." Thorin gesticulated indifferently towards the door.

Rhiannon stumbled at the door obviously heart-broken, but the King didn't honor her with more attention. When the door closed Thorin remained silent for several moments, before turning to Balin. "Bring Othin here and also find Dis and the kids." He whispered quietly.

Balin's brow creased. "Why?"

Thorin pressed his lips. "No questions, just do me the favor."

Balin closed his eyes and gave him a soft nod. "Very well laddie."

When the door closed for the final time, Thorin strolled slowly to the sofa and sat soundlessly next to his boy. Then he leaned back and crossed his arms, patiently waiting to be addressed.

"Please dad don't hear what Rhiannon was telling you. She was not truthful." Durin looked steadily at his father's eyes.

"I will judge Rhiannon when the time comes. Now I shall judge you." Thorin gave his son a strict side-eye.

Durin lowered his head defeated at the certainty that he wouldn't be able to turn his father's head around on this. Then his voice came crushed. "Did you do that on purpose before?"

"I've done a lot of things on purpose lately. You have to be more specific."

"Covering up for us in front of Lord Elrohir." Durin said quietly.

"Oh, yes that was on purpose." Thorin returned calmly.

"Why? You could have told him the truth." The sadness in Durin's eyes was painfully evident.

"Elrohir and I are not in the best of terms. I didn't want to evoke his wrath by revealing that my son didn't honor his solemn promise to stop his shenanigans around young Celebriel. That would have ended with her father denying you kids to ever see each other again. Tempting as that punishment may feel after what I saw today….my heart cannot follow through." Thorin's voice was calm, but there was an undertone of steel.

Durin sucked his nose and then wiped it messily. "Will you yell at me?"

Thorin sighed and relaxed back. "To accomplish what? To make you feel bad? I saw how broken you were when Celebriel said goodbye. That was the worst thing that could have happened. Someone taking your friend away from you."

Durin didn't speak. He looked at his tight fists.

"You understand that I am very confused about what happened today, right?" Thorin continued.

"Confused and mad?" Durin looked at him fleetingly.

"For now just merely puzzled." –Thorin paused and pursed his lips- "Okay maybe I am also slightly annoyed that your promise was for naught and that you betrayed my trust in you."

Durin's countenance took a nosedive to the darkest depths of despair. "I am sorry I disappointed you." His voice was diminished.

"Lies can hurt me more than any mischiefs your clever brain will ever come up with." Thorin continued calmly.

Durin sniffled and felt a knife twisting in his heart as his father loaded him with unbearable guilt. "I am sorry I failed you dad. Do you think I will be able to see Celebriel ever again?"

"You haven't cleared up what happened by the river….you rush too much to gain privilege in a situation I have no control over. You both should have been more careful. I am sorry son." Thorin rebuked solemnly.

More tears sprang from Durin's eyes.

"Now are you ready to tell me the truth?" Thorin looked at him steadily.

Durin nodded and clenched his fists. "I was playing with Cel at the corridor when Lady Íth appeared and asked us to hide her somewhere because her uncle was after her. That is what we did. She went into the barrel alone dad I swear and when she heard mom coming down the steps she shouted at Cel to release the trap-door. That is what happened! I swear on my life!"

Thorin raised his brow. "Why did Lady Íth get scared when she heard your mom coming? You said she wanted to get away from her uncle at first."

Durin's eyes darted all around the room as he tried to find some excuse…any excuse that would convince the formidable mind of his father of all those half-lies and Thorin allowed him to boil in oil for several moments. While Durin was twisting his fingers around each other nervously and breaking sweat, Thorin was observing him calmly….

"You see mom…was with Lord Durar when Lady Íth run away…." Durin stammered.

"Why was mom there and why did Lady Íth run away from them?" Thorin continued casually.

Durin swallowed tensely. "Uh…you see…they …I mean she…I mean mom she was there because…I mean Lady Íth was there with Lord Durar….Uh…" Durin's eyes filled with tears.

Thorin reached out and held his shoulder. "Okay…take a deep breath."

Durin nodded and wiped away his tears. "Alright…" He muttered.

Thorin allowed him to calm down for several moments. "Are you ready to try again?"

Another defeated nod from Durin.

"The truth this time…." Thorin's voice held a discreet caution that was enough to make Durin's stomach tumble painfully.

The young boy opened his mouth quite decided to continue with lies again. Any kind of lies that would cover up for his mom, for Celebriel, for his nanny and for himself. The wheels in his mind turned speedily trying to find ways to make up a story that would be believable and concise, but it was impossible to cover up what his father saw down by the river. Durin stood there frozen, sweating profusely and thoroughly studied by one of the sharpest minds of all the Seven Dwarven Kingdoms. Even the mighty ancient spirit of the first Dwarven father that lay in his soul began feeling rather uncomfortable under this heavy scrutiny that held in it nothing more than intense silence. So young Durin stayed there huffing, puffing and fidgeting for a long time before finally his shoulders slouched and he closed his eyes in defeat. "You are going to kill me if I tell you the truth."

"Try me." Thorin rejoined quietly.

Durin swallowed heavily and pressed his lips in a final effort to keep his mouth shut. He raised his eyes to his father's face and felt his heart faltering. When his lips opened up again it felt as if his body decided to eject everything he had been keeping in him all this time in any manner whatsoever. He admitted that he had been eavesdropping on his father's meetings for a long time. That he was suspicious about Íth swooning over his father and deciding early on to warn her to stay away. That he saw how much his parents were fighting and he knew that was because of his lost grandfather, but also because of Ith.

He said that he eavesdropped on Eilin and Lord Durar and he revealed every single thing they told each other. He exposed Ith's plan to stain Thorin's rule by lying about what took place between them at his office. He spoke about Eilin's decision to call over Lord Durar in order to set up Íth and prove to this High Lord of this girl's deceitful ways.

He described how he formed his own secret plan with Celebriel to throw Íth into the river and ridicule her. Finally he explained that even though this evening him and Celebriel followed Eilin and Durar with the intention of tricking Íth to get in a barrel and then empty her in the river…that woman destroyed their plans herself with her panic attack.

When he finally finished his face was crimson and full of tears. His nose was swollen and his lips were puffed up. Thorin pulled him in his huge embrace. "Alright…calm down now…" The King hummed.

Durin shook his head angrily. "I did all this in order to avenge you and mom, but I destroyed her plans. I did it for you and ended up almost killing Ith! I didn't want to kill her, I only wanted to ridicule her and force her to stay away from you."

Thorin kissed Durin's brow. "Hush now…catch your breath first." -Durin snuggled in his arms while Thorin allowed him to empty all the anger, frustration, and uncertainty that had been tormenting him for so long. When Durin finally seemed to calm down, Thorin caressed his wet hair away from his sweaty forehead and smiled- "Better now?"

"Will you kill me?" Durin gasped.

"Whatever for?"

"For plan-ning to throw Íth in the ri-ver?" Durin stuttered.

Thorin's lips twisted in a half-smile. "Well, if what you told me is true, then she got what she deserved …"

Durin frowned in disbelief. "I lied to you dad…I eavesdropped."

"Yes…about that…" Thorin enfolded Durin close to his heart and kissed his head.

"Are you are not going to kill me for trapping Ith?" Durin didn't let him finish. He pulled back and looked at him with his large bloodshot eyes.

"No, but I dislike lies and spies." Thorin smirked.

Durin's bottom lip quivered as more tears edged his eyes. "I will never listen in on you again dad. I did it because I was afraid about you and mom. I didn't know what was happening to you guys."

Thorin closed his eyes and hugged Durin tight. "We have really messed you up my boy, haven't we?"

Durin sniffled and wrapped his small arms around Thorin's back. "I am just scared that you will separate. I don't want that to happen."

"That is why you decided to meddle?" Thorin murmured and rubbed his nose on Durin's wavy locks.

"I wanted to protect you and mom. It is as if my heart was screaming for me to keep you safe." Durin stumbled.

Thorin pursed his lips. "You know that it is our job to protect you and your siblings and not the other way round, correct?"

Durin didn't answer.

"You understand that you are not at an age that you are responsible to protect your family….but your family is responsible for protecting you, right? You are just a child still…." Thorin continued with a softer tone meant to calm down his son.

"I just cannot help it sometimes. I don't know what comes over me." Durin sulked.

"Probably the mighty spirit of our forefather that has taken over your soul and is making you foolhardy for all the right reasons, but at all the wrong times." Thorin smirked.

"I cannot get that part of me to shut up." Durin admitted in defeat.

"That part is too powerful to be silenced. You must learn though how to control it. You are not responsible for saving me and mom. Are we clear with that?" Thorin's large hand squeezed Durin's back.

The boy nodded and puffed. "Crystal clear."

"Sometimes couples get into fierce arguments, but you must worry less about those and trust us more to solve them between us." Thorin kissed his temple and smoothed his finger down Durin's cheek.

"I know." Durin replied in dismay.

Thorin pulled back and caressed his son's red cheek. "We never meant to worry you so much."

Durin's eyes watered again. He nodded and tried to stop the sobs that threatened to choke him again.

"I am sorry for what we have done to you my boy." Thorin's eyes welled.

Durin clutched him tightly and closed his eyes. "Please don't punish mom for what happened. She only tried to protect you. She was worried that if you learned what Íth tried to do you were going to get mad. You had just woken up from that illness…..you were still trying to feel better. We didn't know if you would stay awake this time."

Thorin nodded. "I understand."

Durin sniffled.

Thorin closed his eyes and rested his cheek on Durin's head. "I am so sorry my son. I should have known that you are too perceptive not to notice what was happening."

"Can you please stop fighting with mom?" Durin's voice came up a pitch at those words.

Thorin frowned. "I promise to try."

Durin closed his eyes and exhaled.

Thorin held him tightly for several moments before chuckling.

Durin frowned at that unexpected sound and pulled back in order to check. "Dad?" He murmured.

Thorin smirked. "Were you really planning to give her a barrel ride down to Esgaroth?"

Durin smirked timidly. "Yes."

Thorin snickered. "Whose idea was that? Yours or little Celebriel's who has read all my stories several times over?"

"Mine…" -Durin stuttered- "Why are you laughing?"

Thorin shook his head. "Because I am actually rather amused by your choice of revenge."

"You are?" Durin's countenance filled with suspicion.

Thorin nodded.

"Will you throw me in a dungeon until I grow old and have gray hair?" Durin's mouth dropped open.

Thorin shook his head and smiled. "That's a tempting thought, because it will save me a lot of trouble…but no."

"Will you stop fighting with mom?" Durin continued.

Thorin raised his finger. "What did I say before?"

"To stay out of it?" Durin cringed.

Thorin inclined his head.

Durin nibbled his bottom lip. "Are you going to punish me and Cel for what we did to Ith?"

"I am still toying around with your punishment, don't rush me. However I won't deny that Íth had this coming a mile away. Never mess with Durin's family, right?" Thorin's lips formed a charming smile.

Durin's eyes lit up. "Never! I will never let anyone touch my family!"

Thorin pursed his lips and raised his brow.

Durin looked at his lap. "I mean when I grow older I will do that. Now I will let you and mom take care of things and I will try to act like a kid."

"Try?" Thorin seemed amused.

Durin pressed his lips and nodded. "Try hard."

Thorin caressed Durin's hair gently. "Good my boy."

In a belated thought Durin's face fell. "Will I ever see Celebriel again?"

"I am not sure. Our homes lay many miles and many lives away." Thorin's voice was quiet.

Durin's eyes settled with determination once more. "I will dad!"

"I don't know if that sounds more like a threat or a promise." Thorin smiled.

"It is a promise! I promised her!" Durin looked way too serious.

Thorin tilted his head. "Then I am sure you will see her again."

Durin's mouth formed a sad smile.

"Can we think of other friends for now, that might help you feel a little better?" Thorin caressed Durin's soft curls.

"Like who?"

"Like Lis who will come with us in the Shire." Thorin's eyes twinkled cleverly.

Durin's countenance animated and he grabbed his father's leather vest. "What?!" He cried.

Thorin clutched his forearms and gave him a dazzling smile.

"We are going at the Shire to see Uncle Bilbo?!" Durin shouted.

"Yes." Thorin was unable to stop the happiness from forming on his fine features.

Durin paused suddenly and his pretty features twisted in distrust. "Is this part of my punishment? Do you want to make me happy and then surprise me with something horrible?"

Thorin laughed, feeling rather entertained. "No."

The first ray of hope glittered in Durin's eyes and the boy fell in Thorin's arms with a howl of enthusiasm. "We are really going in the Shire?"

Thorin nodded.

"Thank you dad!"

Thorin embraced him believing that this reaction was because Durin loved the Shire, but that was only part of the truth. Durin was thinking how close to Rivendell they would be and how easy it would be for him to sneak out in order to go and find Celebriel in order to fulfill his promise. After a few firm kisses on his father's cheeks he pulled back with a huge grin. "I am so happy you are my dad, have I ever told you that?"

Thorin scrounged his lips. "No."

Durin squeezed the King's cheeks. "Well I am! I am so happy I chose you as my father!"

"Oh, did you? I didn’t know we have a choice." Thorin smiled.

"Yes of course we do! You don’t remember what we do before we get born, as you are so old now. I knew I had to come back with you the moment I saw you." Durin beamed.

Thorin pinched his cheek. "I will overlook you calling me ancient and I will admit you have a fiery imagination son."

Durin got ready to tell him that what he was saying felt so true in his heart when the door knocked and Thorin called for them to enter.

Balin peeked inside carefully. "They are here." He said, but before Thorin was able to answer the door swung open and Rhianaye busted in, followed closely by Thrárin. Thorin looked at the solemn countenance of his sister as she stood close to the entrance but didn't follow the children in.

"Daddy!" Thrárin shouted enthusiastically and demanded part of his father's hug from Durin.

Rhianaye decided to sit next to her twin and caressed his back. "I started crying uncontrollably a little while ago and auntie Dis couldn't get me to stop. Are you alright?" Her eyes were glittering with that unnerving intuition which connected her so deeply to her twin and made her feel what he felt at times both physically and emotionally.

Durin turned to his sister. "I am better now."

"Who hurt you?" His sister asked with a formidable frown.

"I messed up. No one hurt me." Durin rejoined disappointed.

Rhianaye sulked and gave her brother a hug expecting his usual resistance, but instead was surprised by his heart-felt reciprocation.

"Did we bother you daddy?" Thrárin grinned and began pulling Thorin's warrior braids.

"You came at the best time possible." Thorin smiled and his heart filled with warmth at witnessing how supportive they were towards each other when things were serious. They were going to be each other's pillar of strength when life later became truly demanding and for that Thorin felt grateful. He held the same sacred relationship with both his siblings and after Frerin died, Dis had always been his anchor, his voice of reason…an unwavering support system that never failed him. Seeing the same relationships taking place between his children was so satisfying that he felt his anger towards what he learned from Durin, momentarily dissipating.

The king leaned down and gave a big kiss to Durin's cheek. "Stay here my brave warrior. I have something to take care off."

Durin grabbed his hand. "Where are you going?" His eyes filled with dread.

"Stay here, stop asking questions and be a child for once… alright?" Thorin raised his brow.

Rhianaye snorted. "You are asking too much from him." She chimed in playfully.

Thorin repeated the hug and the kiss for her too. "Take care of him my little Gem."

Rhianaye gave him a military salute. "Yes Sir!"

Then Thorin pushed Thrárin until he was laying on his thighs, lifted the tunic that was too big for his frame and kissed his exposed belly until the boy began giggling. "No daddy no…your bread is tickling."

"My beard…" Thorin snorted.

"Your bread, yes." Thrárin laughed and pulled his father's beard-braid.

Thorin pulled him up and kissed his nose. "You stay with your siblings my red-headed trooper and listen to your sister's orders."

"Not mine?" Durin scowled at that.

Thorin put Thrárin down and walked to the door. Then he stopped and looked back at his son. "You, young man, lost all your privileges after what happened today for at least a full moon circle. You are under your sister's orders, so be careful how you act."

Durin's mouth dropped open and he looked at his sister abhorred. "What?!"

Rhianaye laughed. "Oh, that's the worst punishment in the world for him dad."

"He needs to learn some prudence and gain several ounces of patience and there is no one better than you to help him with that." -Thorin raised his brow and his formidable finger at Durin- "You have no right to decide anything for your siblings until I say so. Is that clear?"

Durin rolled his eyes in abandonment. "Okay…dad."

Thorin looked at the dismay on his older son's face and had to refrain from smiling. "Now all of you take care not to create any new trouble until I get back."

"I will make sure of that dad, don't worry." Rhianaye frowned gravely.

Thorin winked at her and then walked out of the room. "Thank you for bringing them over." He said at Dis.

"Is everything okay wolf?" She frowned.

"Give me a moment." He said and turned to Othin who bowed deeply and looked at the floor.

"Your Highness." He muttered.

Thorin kept his fiery gaze on the man's head as he spoke with a stony voice. "Lord Durin is inside and he is rather distressed. He would appreciate some good company."

Othin risked a glance at the King's glacial features and then nodded. "It will be my pleasure to keep company to the young Prince."

"Go in." Thorin gestured to the door dismissively and when Othin entered he turned to Balin with a very sour face.

"What happened? What did the boy tell you?" His advisor asked

"The truth." Thorin rejoined flatly.

Balin scowled.

"He told me the truth." Thorin repeated and his eyes held a blizzard that really scared Balin.

"Wolf, I am very confused right now…I admit it." Dis winced.

"I am more confused than you. Did you talk to him?" He gestured dismissively towards the door.

Dis pursed her lips. "Yes, but not extensively as the kids claimed him fiercely."

"Your opinion?" Thorin rejoined.

Dis crossed her arms. "He seems very reluctant and timid. He can barely look into anyone's eyes…except maybe Thrárin's. He is afraid of his own shadow."

"Which is expected considering who he is, his heavy past and in what a compromising situation he found himself in. He has his daughter and grandchildren within arm's reach and he's got the fell beasts of Mordor breathing down his back." Balin raised his brow at Thorin.

He remained expressionless.

"Maybe you should consider becoming a little softer with the poor guy." Balin continued.

Dis looked at her brother silently.

"No chance in hell." -Thorin growled and his eyes blazed- "Show me Durar's rooms."

His advisor blanched. "You almost broke Elrohir's wrist a moment ago, do you think it is wise to talk with Durar's niece now?"

Dis felt the rage once again rising in him. "I wish someone would explain to me what the hell is going on here…"

"When I find out. I will let you know." -Thorin dismissed her and then looked at Balin- "Take me to him."

 

* * *

 

Rhiannon closed the door and stood next to it petrified for several breathless moments.

Eilin turned around and frowned. "What is it girl?"

Oin winced. "Don't move lassie. I need to stitch you up properly so you won't have a large scar ruining the perfection of your skin."

"Too late for that." Eilin looked at the deep cut on her forearm and cringed.

"You want me to hold your hand?" Dwalin offered her his huge palm.

Eilin looked at him with a smile. "You are such a tender man inside even though you look so intimidating outside…much like your best friend." -At that thought her smile died down- "I wouldn't mind some support right now." She muttered and grabbed his hand.

Dwalin squeezed it. "If you need to cry out in pain then feel free to do it. I won't judge you for it."

Eilin's eyes smiled at him. "I am closer to crying out in frustration than pain." –Then her attention returned to Rhiannon- "Why are you standing like a statue back there? What happened?" She frowned.

"I…you see…" Rhiannon took a few steps closer.

Eilin hissed when the needle passed through her skin and Dwalin pressed her hand tightly. "It stings like hell, I know. Now grit your teeth."

Eilin nodded at him curtly. "If my husband managed to sustain being stitched up from the inside out, then I will endure this triviality."

Dwalin smiled proudly at her.

Eilin looked at Rhiannon again and tried to stop herself from moaning when she felt the needle entering her skin again. "What the hell's gotten into you? Why aren't you with Durin and Celebriel?"

Rhiannon licked her lips nervously. "The King is with Lord Durin. Young Celebriel was taken by her father."

Eilin felt her heart dropping and ignored the next poke of the needle, despite some sweat that started breaking on her forehead. "Thorin is with Durin?"

Rhiannon nodded quickly.

"What are they saying to each other?" Eilin muttered.

"I don't know. I was commanded to leave." Rhiannon came next to her and when she looked at the deep, weeping gash she felt her face blanching.

Eilin closed her eyes and drew in some of Dwalin’s strength. "Who knows what Durin will tell him…I am surely dead…" She murmured.

"Thorin would never hurt you and you know it." Dwalin scowled.

"He will be mad at me and I don't blame him. Everything I did was to protect him. However the way things turned out he has every right to demand answers out of me." Her countenance darkened.

"No matter what happened, you two don't deserve to lose the peace you have found lately. I saw how much he changed after you talked about your troubles. He was serene again. I won't let that be ruined for either of you." Dwalin's lips turned down.

"Have I ever told you that you are the best friend Thorin could ever have?" Eilin's smile was sad.

"Not yours, then?" Dwalin pressed her hand.

She winced at Oin's insistent prodding. "Mine too of course and I am proud to have earned such a precious and rare friendship." She mastered up the courage to smile at him.

"Don't suck up." –Dwalin frowned and rubbed his bald head- "By the by, Thorin should have been with you at this moment holding your hand, not me."

"He is furious at me and searching for answers. Please don't blame him. The fault is mine." Eilin's eyes filled with despair.

"It is not and I made sure to tell him." Rhiannon intervened.

"What do you mean?" Eilin frowned.

"I told him it was I who forfeited his writing and signature. That all this was not your fault and that I am to blame. Maybe if he takes his wrath on me, maybe if he fires me and asks for retribution you will be spared from his fury." Rhiannon knelt in front of Eilin and clasped her hand tightly.

Eilin's eyes filled with tears. "What in the name of Mahal have you done you silly girl?" She whispered.

"I protected you, by telling him the truth." Rhiannon kissed Eilin's hand.

The Queen felt so overcome that she almost lost consciousness for a few moments. It was Dwalin who secured her. "Steady …"

"What came over you to do such a stupid thing? You have the misconception that this altruistic action of yours will still the rage that is currently brewing in Thorin's heart?" Eilin closed her eyes dejected.

Rhiannon was unable to hold her heart-breaking sobs. "It will allow the King to take all his wrath upon me and not you."

"You foolish girl. I know how to stay his fury…you truly messed up things now for all of us. I don't know how to fix this in his eyes anymore." Eilin exhaled upon Rhiannon's head dejected.

"How about by telling him the truth?" Dwalin chimed in quietly.

Eilin gave him a forlorn regard. "There is no other choice now. Durin and Rhiannon made sure of that."

"I am sorry….I only wanted to help you." Rhiannon's weeps were so intense that even Oin betrayed an array of emotions upon his battle-hardened features.

"You might have helped me…or you might have made things rather hard for all of us. That remains to be seen." Eilin whispered.

"I will beg him to punish me…I will do it now!" Rhiannon made to get up.

Eilin restraint her. "Stand still. You said enough already. You know I will not allow you to take responsibility, right? I will not allow him to punish you. The plan was mine. I contrived it, I set it in motion and I made it come true. You were just a pawn in a game that I was not well equipped to play against him. Now I shall face the aftermath."

Rhiannon shook her head and kissed her hand again while her face was streaming with tears. "No...we have to help you!"

Eilin moaned softly when Oin tied the final knot. "Do you think that either you or Dwalin are better equipped to handle Thorin than I am?"

Oin looked up at that with a smile. "She's got a point."

Eilin caressed Rhiannon's hair while she was weeping in her lap and turned to Dwalin. "You may know him since childhood, but only I can extinguish the fire-tornado in him….especially since I am the one who instigated it."

Dwalin pressed his lips. "Be careful what you say to him."

Eilin closed her eyes and felt her heart warming up by the loyalty and love that both Rhiannon and Dwalin were showing her. "I will…trust me both of you. Everything is going to be alright." She smiled reflectively and tried to convince herself that what she was saying was true.

 

* * *

 

"I need a word with your niece my Lord." Thorin stood imposing in front of Durar with his arms crossed behind his back.

Durar blanched. "Ask me and I shall give you all the answers my King. Don't listen to that silly girl, please…"

Thorin walked inside, forcing Durar to pull back respectfully. "You know how much I appreciate you, but this doesn't concern you. This is between me and your niece. Where is she?"

Durar grabbed the King's shoulder in despair. "Please…don't. I know my house will fall hard after this. Don't talk with her, listen to me Thorin. I will tell you the truth."

Thorin's eyes became relentless when he turned to his old friend. "Who invited you here?"

Durar hesitated.

Thorin held his regard firmly for several moments until Durar couldn't take it anymore and looked away. "I came here alone…."

"To do what?"

"Find my niece." Durar rejoined.

"Who invited her?" Thorin's eyes thinned.

Durar's hands began trembling.

Thorin dropped his chin. "I respect you dearly, but I hate lies. Especially when they concern the integrity of my court!"

"I know Sir." Durar knelt down heavily.

"Who invited you here…that is the last time I am going to ask you." Thorin's eyes were raging.

Durar gulped and it took him several moments to mutter defeated. "The Queen."

"She called you here to restraint your niece's recklessness, didn't she?" Thorin returned angrily.

Durar squeezed his eyes tight.

"Who invited Íth here in the first place?" Thorin growled.

No answer from Durar, only hard breathing and the precursors of tears. It was Ith's voice that made Thorin remove his penetrating stare from the High Lord.

"I invited myself Sir…and that was possibly the biggest mistake of my life." She said quietly and when his eyes fell on hers, she had to struggle not to flee from the immense burden of his acute regard.

"It most certainly was…" Thorin drawled.

 


	33. The fuel of nightmares

Thorin entered the rooms and closed the door behind him, without giving any notice to the look of absolute abandonment in Durar's teary eyes. He bypassed Íth and walked to the middle of the room. There he stood silently forbidding with his hands crossed behind his back, making Íth even more nervous than she already became the moment she saw him.

"I am listening." His voice dragged heavily inside the confinement of the dark room.

Íth choked. "Sir…"

"I am listening to your reasons of appearing here uninvited my Lady." His stony face didn't honor her with a single look.

Ith's stomach dropped. "I wanted to check on your health my King."

"My crows were informing Erebor regularly about the progress of my health. You needn't come here in person to find that out." He rebuked unemotionally.

"That is why I said it was one of my gravest mistakes. I shouldn't have come here Sir, but ….I couldn't help myself. I needed to see you face to face and make sure you were alright." Ith's voice was hushed.

"I am recuperating from a rather disabling illness under the care of family and close friends. Had I needed the presence of my immediate court I would have asked for it." Thorin drawled.

Ith's jawline flexed. "I know Sir."

"I will hence overlook the conceited assumption that I would have appreciated seeing you here without an invitation…" He continued.

Íth squeezed her eyes tight and gritted her teeth.

"…How exactly did you end up from coming to inquire about my health to almost drowning?"

Íth remained silent, feeling her hands numbing down. "Sir…"

"How did your uncle come here? He wasn't invited either." Thorin's voice carried the same detached tone that send cold waves of rejection towards Ith.

"The Queen invited him over…" Ith's eyes opened up quickly at that question.

"Why did she do that?" Thorin glared towards the closed windows with a heavy scowl.

Ith's eyes darted at the floor madly for several moments. "Because she was jealous."

A deadly silence spread in the room that intimidated Íth even more.

"Whom was she jealous of?" Thorin returned.

Íth felt all the color draining from her cheeks. "Me."

"What is it you have that justifies her to become jealous of you?" Thorin turned around and his eyes fell on her with such heavy austerity that Íth lost all her courage.

She took a step back.

Thorin raised his brow indifferently. "So what is so special about you to elicit the Queen's jealousy? Your status? Your relationships? Your child? Your physical appearance? What?" He was dripping poison.

Íth swallowed nervously and shook her head. "The close relationship I formed with you Sir."

"Ah, of course." Thorin's lips curled up in a malicious smile.

Íth couldn't master up the courage to open her eyes in order to see him. She licked her bottom lip and twisted her fingers painfully around each other.

Thorin's smile slowly faded into a terrifying mask of suppressed anger. "Did you meet with the Queen prior to your accident?"

The Dwarrodam nodded and a sob escaped her. "Yes."

"What did you say to each other?" Thorin continued pitilessly.

"She told me to stay away from you because she thought I was a risk to your marriage. She warned me to go back to Erebor or else she would tell my Uncle and make me regret it. I guess that is what she did. She made me regret staying Sir, but my heart wouldn't allow me to leave while you were ill. I needed to be close to you." Íth whispered with a broken voice.

A long drawn silence emanated from the imposing countenance of the King for several tense moments. "Because your feelings are so genuine and so strong they surpass the affection my wife festers for me….I suppose." He scoffed.

Íth looked away not knowing how to answer to that.

"How did you end up in the river?" Thorin resumed coldly.

"I answered to the letter you wrote me Sir. The beautiful letter that wished for a secret meeting with me and had your Royal Ring inside as a love token." Íth looked up at that with a new hope glimmering in her eyes.

"A letter I never wrote." Thorin raised his brow.

She nodded and felt her lips curling up hatefully. "It was a forfeited letter Sir, meant to draw me into a trap and ridicule me in the eyes of my Uncle, whom the Queen called here just for the sole purpose of making me look like a whore."

"Which you aren't?" Thorin returned dryly.

She looked at him momentarily taken aback. "What do you mean Sir? How am I a whore? I answered to a letter I thought you send me."

Thorin's lips curled up disdainfully. "Had that letter been real you would have answered to the call of a married man. Does that speak highly of your ethics?"

Íth felt as if someone pulled the world right from under her feet and she was left speechless.

"I still didn't get an answer of how you ended up in the river." Thorin allowed her a few moments to boil in oil before resuming.

She took a step back and looked at her hands. "My Uncle appeared instead of you at that meeting and he became so furious that I feared for my life and fled. I was intercepted by an Elfling who initially asked me to help her find some lost jewelry in the wine cellar, but whom I followed because I wanted to hide. Those moments were confusing my Lord, believe me. The only thing I wished for was to get away…to escape…"

"…Why did you wish to escape since you were the victim here as you proclaim? You should have tried to find me in order to declare your innocence and demand reprimanding towards those who did so much injustice to you. Those who wish to hide….have also things to hide." Thorin's eyes thinned on her.

She looked away and felt her whole body deflating.

"You were never a victim. Why do you wish to paint yourself as one? Will that change my already formed opinion of you perchance?" Thorin rejoined dryly.

Íth shook her head.

Thorin inclined his. "So what happened at the wine cellar?"

Íth wiped a few tears that trickled down her nose. "I heard footsteps and then the Queen's voice. I was afraid of the punishments that awaited for me and I panicked. I asked the Elfling to pull the lever and that is how I ended up in the river. The barrel broke and I got trapped between two rocks. As I am not a very adept swimmer, I went under. Little do I remember after that."

"Who saved your sorry behind?" Thorin's lips curled up in disgust.

"The Queen Sir, I told you before." Íth forced herself to stare at him, but his fiery eyes were unbearable to hold and she instantly looked away.

"You should repeat those words till the end of time and never forget what happened, because it is due to the Queen's bravery that you are still here today to speak with me." Thorin's voice crawled up to her with obvious repulsion and raised all the hair on her back.

"And it was by the Queen's actions that I fell in the river at the first place. That letter was forfeited by the Queen and she placed your ring inside in order to frame me!" Íth was panting.

"So the Queen went through all this trouble just to keep you away from me?" Thorin pulled back and gave her an unsettling smirk she didn't know how to interpret.

"Yes Sir. She is a very insecure woman when it comes to you." Íth said quietly.

"Because you are such a threat to her I suppose…" He spat sarcastically.

She bit her bottom lip and her nails dug into her palm.

Thorin gave her a slow nod and walked towards the windows. There he remained quiet for a very long time. "You know what I hate more than people of low ethics who are willing to wedge their contemptible personalities between two people who love each other?"

Íth felt her heart dropping to the darkest abyss. "Sir no…"

"Ungrateful little liars!" His heavy voice snapped so loudly that Íth jerked nervously and took several steps away.

She groaned and covered her mouth.

Another even longer silence came from him, calculated to freeze the blood in her veins. "I know everything that happened between you and the Queen. I know the real reason she called Lord Durar here and why she created this elaborate scheme to trap you. Hearing you try to turn this around in order to paint your Queen in the darkest of shadows makes my skin crawl with disgust…" He spat.

Íth backed up until the couch caught her knees and she emptied herself in it.

Thorin inhaled deeply and his hands became tight fists behind his back. His shoulders squared and his chin dropped. "What was it that you misunderstood about my intentions that evening in my office when we had that accursed private conversation?"

She shook her head and covered her face. "Nothing…"

"Did I say something or do something that made you believe there was ever a chance that I would take you as a lover?" Thorin turned around and raised his brow contemptibly at her.

Íth moaned. "No Sir."

"Was I not clear enough when I said that my soul belongs to my wife that night at the river despite being rather sick and beside myself?" He continued mercilessly.

Íth nodded. "Yes Sir, you were."

Thorin turned around and his nape crawled with the precursors of uncontrollable wrath. "Then why in the name of hell were you willing to lie about what took place between us in that office and destroy my reputation!?" He shouted abruptly.

She leaned back on the couch and covered her head. An incomprehensible mumble came out of her mouth.

"Speak!" Thorin thundered.

"I tried to stop the Queen from revealing to my Uncle how indiscreet I have been with you…." Íth bawled and tried to pull away from him as heavy sobs rattled her chest.

Thorin raised his brow and cracked his nape trying to soothe down the need to lash out. "Eilin warned you to leave me alone or else she would talk to Durar about your foolishness?"

She nodded manically. "Yes."

"And you reciprocated by threatening my Crown with lies…." He hissed.

Íth braced herself.

"With bloody lies!" Thorin barked.

Íth shook and choked another moan. "I am sor-ry…"

Thorin closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead trying to find some thread of sanity to grasp in order to cool down. "You threatened a kingship that was handled by the honorable Thror who created the golden city and was followed by my brave father who shed his blood to upkeep it before he was lost to the darkness. A ruling that I sustained with every single thread of my very soul despite all the controversies. A sovereignty I saw falling apart to the fire of beasts you have never even dreampt of. A rule that almost came into ruins as I lead our people in the wilderness and then in exile for many painful and hard years. An authority that I reclaimed after centuries of spilling my blood in every single battle field against every foe you can or cannot imagine possible! A reign that I withhold still with the remains of my soul for the good of our people! You exposed this mighty rule, that goes back endless centuries, to atrocious lies! This is a monarchy that started with Durin the Deathless and shall be passed down to him and you threatened it just because you didn't want your Uncle to learn of your irresponsible actions towards a married man?!"

Íth howled. "I am sor-ry Sir…"

Thorin felt his blood boiling close to explosion. "I could have overlooked all that…by heavens I would have….if there wasn't for one thing that can truly drive me mad."

Íth peered at him between her fingers truly petrified.

"What did you say to my wife about our meeting at my office?" He hissed.

She shook her head and groaned. "No-thing Sir…"

"What did you tell her!?" -He roared and grabbed her arm so tight that Íth bellowed in pain- "Did you utter all those convenient lies to her as well? Did you tell her that we became intimate?"

Ith's face was white as a ghost. She shook her head.

"Speak!" He thundered and pulled her arm so hard that she almost fell off the couch.

"Yes I told her li-es about what hap-pened between us! I don't ev-en reme-mber what I said." -Her breath hitched- "Forgive me…please!" Íth cried.

Thorin froze and the tempest that awoke in his eyes, chilled Ith's blood. "You bloody whore…" He hissed.

Íth moaned heavily. "I am sor-ry please…Sir don't hurt me!"

Thorin released her hand abhorred and his face turned into a frightening mask of uncontrollable wrath. He raised his hand knowing that it was almost impossible to hold his fury at bay, neither was he able to stop himself from becoming physical. His arm floated above her face, trembling with rage as he tried to stop himself from….from what? He had no idea what he was ready to do. Maybe he would have struck the back of the couch, maybe the pillow next to her. Maybe he would have stopped inches from her cheek, maybe her would have simply grabbed her bicep and dragged her back to Durar. Nevertheless he wasn't given the opportunity to act out on his rage, because the door was thrown open and the only voice that could have stilled his hand spoke.

"Thorin no!" Eilin yelled.

The King looked up at his wife who stood with her wounded hand on the door and then at Durar who was looking petrified above her shoulder. He took a step back and staggered in momentary confusion.

Eilin dashed into the room and wrapped her arms around his body both from the need to calm him down and also in order to keep him away from Íth who was quivering like a fish upon the couch. "No…for Mahal's sake stop, please." She begged him.

Thorin frowned and grabbed Eilin's arms. Then he looked at Durar. "Did you bring my wife here?!" He thundered.

"Yes he did! Stop yelling at him! He knew that no one else would be able to still your wrath." Eilin hugged him tightly.

"Get your niece out of here before I do something I will regret. Pack her things and send her back home. I don't want to hear another word about her for I swear I will make you regret being her relative!" Thorin roared.

Eilin gritted her teeth from the effort of keeping his immense frame from lunging at Íth again. "Thorin no! Enough! This had nothing to do with Lord Durar's loyalty and the deep love he feels for you personally. Don't talk to him like that!"

Durar grabbed Ith's arm and hauled her up. "The King is furious at my family my Lady. Allow him the right to express his frustration at this impossible injustice towards his impeccable rule. I had the same reaction towards my niece not so long ago. He is justified."

"He is not furious at your family my Lord. He holds you, your wife and your child in great esteem. He is beside himself at this woman only. Right my love?" Eilin tried to find Thorin's blazing eyes that were penetrating Ith's head.

Thorin gritted his teeth. "Get her out of my sight now!" He snarled.

Eilin pushed him back. "Stand down Thorin." –Her husband was trembling from rage and she felt it. She turned to Durar- "My Lord lead her back to Erebor and let her have a safe trip back home. I am sure the King shall address all your worries when he calms down."

Durar's pale face gave a desperate look at the King as he dragged the sobbing Íth out of the dark room. "At your command my Queen."

Thorin took a step forth dragging Eilin with him, but she planted her feet on the ground and held him still. "Stop in the name of our love….just stop." She whispered.

Thorin was trembling from head to foot, his eyes looking heatedly at Ith's dress as it rounded the door which promptly closed, leaving the Royal couple in the shadows of the room that was lit up only by a single lantern. When Thorin's main focus of anger left he turned all his negative energy towards his wife. "In the name of love…you have a face to talk." He spat and pulled away from her.

Eilin wiped the sweat from her upper lip and looked at him as he staggered towards a small office cabinet that was against the wall next to the closed window. She stilled her heart and got ready for the showdown which was promising to be rather fierce judging from Thorin's absolute loss of control towards Ith. She gave him several moments to cool down and listened intensely at his heavy breathing becoming softer before she spoke again. "Did you ever doubt in my love for you?"

He didn't answer.

"That is truly unfair, considering that whatever I did…I did it for you." She continued with a voice that she doctored to be calm with a lot of effort.

"Why did you stop me from castigating her?" Thorin snapped from the safety of his dark corner.

"Because no matter what happened she was not worth staining your reputation by mishandling her. That is not who you truly are Thorin. You have never touched women this way." Eilin's voice became even softer.

The silence from his side of the room, felt almost unbearable. "I wasn't going to hit her." His voice came hushed.

Eilin pursed her lips and didn't speak.

"You don't believe me." Then it shifted to accusing.

"I caught you with your hand hovering above her face." Eilin returned quietly.

"Maybe the couch would have gotten a beating, but not her!" Thorin rebuked heavily.

Eilin crossed her hands in front of her still wet, white dress and smirked at the floor. "So I actually stopped your from spanking the couch?"

"Don't jest…I am also mad at you." He warned.

"I know…" She cringed.

He didn't reply.

She pressed her lips. "What did she tell you to get you so worked up?"

"She flooded me with lies…" -He thundered and she felt the tempest rising again in him- "…you know how much I hate lies!"

Eilin walked up to him fearlessly. "Nevertheless some lies are used to protect, not to harm."

"You are just trying to cover up for this holly mess…" He declared coldly.

"A bit…do you blame me?" She smiled at her hands and her knees brushed against his.

"Where is my bloody ring?" He crossed his arms and looked down at her angrily.

Eilin sighed and removed it defeated from the pocket of her dress. She opened her palm and showed it to him wordlessly.

He grabbed it rudely and huffed annoyed beyond reason. "You stole it from me!" He whispered in utter disbelief.

Eilin looked at the dove tattoo that was on his chest. "Yes."

"To give it as a love token to that trollop!" He yelled and pointed at the door.

Eilin reached out and clutched his forearm gently. "You make it sound as if I was courting her for myself."

He pulled away his arm and exhaled roughly. "Told you not to jest. I am very angry."

Her hand slipped up his forearm and clutched his shoulder. "I know."

"Don't even try to get on my good side right now. You stole my bloody ring! The one bearing my Royal sigil! The one I use to sign the orders that rule the Northern Alliance, just to give it to that worthless strumpet!" He bit.

Eilin closed her eyes and her other hand came up to clear several thick locks away from his collarbone. "Well that is not quite right. I took it from you in order to sign the orders for Dol Guldur when you were unconscious and your rule was imperiled."

"Yet you conveniently forgot to put back on my finger again when you finished…" He glared at her.

"I am guilty…I don't deny that. I suppose you know everything by now, hence all this uncontrollable anger?" She said quietly and her fingers caressed the tight muscles on his upper chest gently.

"Pretty much. You want to add your take on the events?" He scowled.

"I told you to come to me first. I told you my version is the most reliable. Why didn't you come to me?" Eilin's lips pouted and her fingernail teased the edge of his beard.

"The most reliable or the one which would do the most damage control?" Thorin arched his brow.

"Both?" She smiled sadly.

His eyes rolled on her bandaged arm. "It cannot be both. It is either one or the other. Make a pick."

She closed her eyes. "I tried to protect you. I tried to shield your rule."

"You messed up royally, which goes well with your titles." –She cringed at the reprimand. He exhaled and his fingers wrapped around the bandage. She hissed and he looked down at her unable to hide his concern- "Does it hurt?"

She nodded. "A bit."

"Did Oin look at it?"

Another soft nod.

His thumb caressed the bandage slightly and then as if he felt that he was giving in too much to her, he buttoned up. "Where there any stitches?"

"A couple. I suppose I earned my first scar for trying to be a smart ass, right?" She smiled bitterly.

He pressed his lips. "You earned your first scar for saving her sorry behind." His voice had gained in sadness what it lost from its previous aggressiveness.

Eilin cupped his knees and pulled them apart so she could come in between them. She expected him to push her away, but when he didn't, she felt encouraged and rested her arms on his shoulders. "Did Íth reveal the truth or Durin?"

Thorin pursed his lips and inclined his head.

Eilin nodded. "Of course he did. I was expecting that."

"That is why you asked me to come to you first…" He added.

She shrugged.

"And what were you planning to tell me?" Thorin looked at her solemnly.

She gave him a reflective side-smile. "That I wanted to punish Íth for approaching you. That I called her Uncle to help me do it and unfortunately everything backfired."

"Oh, so you were going to give me Ith's version. You two are more alike than I appreciate right now." Thorin's lips turned down in loathing.

Eilin's brow creased in mortified disbelief. "She said I did that?"

He inclined his head. "Of course…because of your jealousy."

Eilin twisted her lips annoyed.

"You expected her to act chivalrously towards you and tell me the truth?" Thorin arched his brow critically.

Eilin didn't know what to say.

"She threw you under the wheels of the heaviest carriage alright. How can you expect honesty from a woman that goes through such lengths to destroy a family in order to protect herself?" Thorin's voice was harsh.

Eilin nodded pensively. "You are right. I suppose I expected a lot out of her…especially after…" She hesitated.

"Saving her?" Thorin thrust his chin at her.

She tilted her head. "Yes."

"You should have let her sink. Too much effort and too much precious blood for someone so ungrateful." Thorin lowered her wounded arm from his shoulder and rested it on his thigh. Then he caressed her fingers gently.

"Why are you cuddling me if you are still mad at me?" She looked up at him timidly.

"The fact that I want to lick your wounds doesn't mean I am not still fuming." He warned.

"You have every right to be." She nudged his chin with the tip of her nose lovingly.

He pulled back with a wince. "I mean you forfeited my writing and wrote who knows what in order to draw her in, you stole my ring, you involved her Uncle in this who is one of my best friends and all that ended up in a near disaster."

"That river barrel scheme was a total tragedy..." She admitted in defeat.

He frowned.

"At least I saved her. Can I get some credit about that?"

He pursed his lips.

"Which was for naught as you almost beat the living daylights out of her just now." Eilin looked up with a soft wince.

He pinched her chin and looked at her from the bridge of his nose. "Stop fooling around. You could have died in that river today for nothing."

"It wasn't for nothing. All this happened because she had the audacity to threaten your kingship. I wasn't going to allow her to become such a liability for you."

"She told you her version of what happened in my office?" His eyes for the first time showed a small thread of uncertainty.

Eilin nodded gloomily.

"What did she say?" He scowled.

"I don't want to tell you." She averted her eyes.

He made her look in his eyes and raised his brow. "If you want to have a possibility of appeasing my anger speak and tell me the truth."

Eilin hesitated for several moments and he saw the negative emotions dawning on her elegant features. "She said that you approached her. That you told her how much you wanted her intimacy and how lonely you felt….more or less…" Her voice was diminished.

"You didn't believe her…" He glared.

She shook her head. "Not only I didn't believe her, but I tried to make sure no one else would ever believe her either."

Thorin lost all his aggressiveness upon those words. "You trusted me…blindingly. All this could have ended in a much bigger disaster had you believed her words."

She smiled softly. "You asked me to trust you and I promised I would. What did you expect me to do? Come face you with accusations about your loyalty to me?"

He swallowed heavily and felt his eyes welling.

Eilin sniffled and wiped her nose messily with the back of her hand. "Seeing you so conflicted is painful."

"I don't know if I want to admonish you for forfeiting my signature or kiss you till you are breathless for showing me so much trust." He sounded genially torn.

She reached up and run her finger above his lips. "I'd prefer the second."

"Not until I soothe my anger about the first. I want to yell at you so bad for forging that letter…..although technically it was Rhiannon who did it."

Eilin's eyes opened up wide. "Please Thorin don't punish her. I asked her to do it and you know how loyal she is to me. She has no other home. If you throw her out of Erebor she will end up prostituting in another tavern and die in the process. Please… my love…I beg you. Punish me, but not her." She grabbed his hands tightly.

"You want an answer to that right now? When I am still angry?" He raised his brow.

She cupped his cheeks and looked at his lips. "I am begging to think with your heart and not with your mind. Alright I made Rhiannon forfeit your writing. I created this elaborate scheme to silence Ith, but everything happened in order to protect you…because I love you more than my life and I would never let anyone harm you. She was threatening you…I would have never allowed her to continue that. I wanted to shield you and that is what I did…it was an obvious failure…but that was my ultimate goal. Sure I lied in order to achieve all that and I know you hate lies, but haven't you done the same for me? Haven't you ever done secret things to protect me? Haven't you ever told me white lies to keep me safe? I know you have done so in the past and I am sure you might do so in the future."

Thorin paled at that and decided to divert the conversation. "You stole my Ring in order to use it illegally." His voice was not that serious though anymore and neither was he as angry as he wanted to appear.

"Can we pretend that I did that because I wanted to keep it as a love token for myself? Is that easier?" Eilin smiled playfully at him and caressed the bridge of his nose.

He exhaled roughly. "Did you burn that bloody letter or is it out there somewhere ready to compromise my kingship?"

"You instructed her to burn it the moment she read it." Eilin tilted her head slightly and looked at his parted lips.

His hands came up to her biceps and held her loosely. "I am torn between anger and awe."

"I did everything I needed to do to defend you." She offered him the sweetest smile that was draped over with a faded shadow of sadness.

"If Durin hadn't exposed you, would you have lied to me through your teeth again?" Thorin nudged her nose with his.

She closed her eyes and sighed. "Most certainly."

"Why?" His voice had lost all its assertiveness under her soft handling.

"Because I promised Lord Durar that I would never reveal to you what Íth tried to do. He looks up to you so much and his heart is broken by what his niece did. The fact that you know the truth and that you have yelled at him so much for something that was not his fault will tear him apart." She came up on tiptoe and gave a soft kiss at the side of his mouth.

"I will talk to him." His Adam's apple bobbed heavily.

"Please do…what happened with Íth was a great lesson for both of us, but leave Durar out of it." Eilin caressed his cheek.

"Lesson? More like a nightmare." He pressed his lips.

"No it was a lesson. She taught me to trust you….and she taught you not to trust people you don't know so easily."

He nodded and it felt as if a fire was suddenly extinguish from inside him. "All this taught me that I had no idea how scheming you can become and how devious Durin can be."

Eilin huffed and rested her smiling face on his bearded jawline. "Our boy is fiercely defensive of you."

"Of us…" He corrected her.

"Did you yell at him?" Eilin looked up troubled.

"No."

"Did you punish him?" She looked at his lips again.

"Yes." He smirked.

"You weren't mean were you? What he did was straight from the heart. He didn't understand the seriousness of the situation. He couldn't anticipate that his interference along with Durar's loss of control would have had such serious results." Eilin's face filled with misery.

"My punishment was not mean, no." Thorin rejoined.

"What was it?" Eilin scowled.

"I allowed his sister to take of precedence for a couple of months." Thorin's hands that were resting gently on her waist, wrapped behind her back and drew her in.

She felt her heart elating at this presentation of affection to her. "Oh Thorin, you are truly callous even though you declare the opposite."

"I am not callous. He needs to remember the word prudence and re-learn a bit of humility. None other better than Rhianaye to teach him all that."

Eilin pressed her lips pensively. "I suppose you are right."

"Besides my punishment was nothing in front of Elrohir's. That is what hurt Durin the most I believe. It was much harsher than any of mine could have ever been …." Thorin's eyes shadowed.

"What did that man do again?" Eilin drew back and her face twisted in disapproval.

"He is leaving with Celebriel tomorrow. Durin is heartbroken." Thorin's lips turned down.

Eilin looked down and licked her lips. "Oh damn. I have to go to my boy." She made to leave, but Thorin's hand wrapped around her bicep and pulled her in again.

"I called over his siblings, Dis and Urkar before I left. He will be okay for a little while."

Eilin closed her eyes in relief. "That is all well and good but he needs his mom…"

"I need his mom too." Thorin raised his brow.

A small smile appeared at the corner of Eilin's mouth. "Are you competing with your son for my affection?"

"Yes I am. I know you want to offer Durin support, but he is not alone right now. Don't you want to stay with your deeply betrayed and rather distressed husband and use your bewitching tricks to change his deteriorating mood?" His voice had gained the traces of the familiar teasing element she loved so much and instantly warmed her heart.

She slid her hands up his biceps and smiled. "You mean you still want me to calm you down? Didn't I do a good job already? You seem to be much better now than when I came in."

He shook his head and frowned. "No…I need more."

She cupped his nape and caressed his skin gently. "More of what?"

"More apologies, more explanations, more reassurances that you love me, more…of everything. What you did up to now is hardly enough. Especially after what you did prior that led us to this mess." He whispered and pecked her smoothly.

She closed her eyes and felt her stomach filling with a warmth that felt so soothing. "Maybe you need to punish me for lying to you like you did Durin and Ith? Would that satisfy your fiery spirit?" She murmured.

He winced and burrowed his hands under her long mane in order to find the clasp to her dove pendant. The one he had gifted her with a decade ago after declaring that he couldn't live without her. "You are right. I will punish you immediately."

She touched the pendant and looked at him with a slight frown. "I haven't taken this off since you put it on me in the Shire…"

Thorin took it off her neck and smiled smugly. "I know."

She rubbed her throat, feeling it very empty all of a sudden and her heart dropped. "What are you doing Thorin?"

"Close your eyes." He said.

Eilin crossed her arms and did so. "Just so you know a few moments ago you were starting to arouse me. Now you just destroyed my mood with what you did. I love this pendant, don't punish me by taking it away, please."

"How am I supposed to feel like after what you all did to me today? I got lied to by my son, my wife, my maiden, Elrond's niece, one of my High Lords and his bloody niece as well. Should I be in the mood for love or for vengeance?" He countered, but with a softness that didn't go well with his words.

Eilin felt her heart dropping. "I will give you as many apologies as you wish. I will repent about what I did for the rest of my life, but I shall never regret protecting you."

"I know." -He frowned and placed the pendant back on her neck. He clasped it and pulled back to admire it- "Okay open your eyes."

She did and immediately her hand came down to check on the dove, which was much heavier than before. When her eyes saw his Royal Ring next to it, she felt her mind halting. "Thorin…" She muttered overcome.

His heavy arms wrapped behind her back and drew her in until her body was pressed against his. "What?" He breathed softly next to her cheek.

"Your Ring…."

"You mean the one you stole when I was in oblivion, my wounded lioness, and used along with my forfeited handwriting for devious purposes?" He smirked and his fingers enclosed her injured arm and brought it behind his back gently.

She exhaled and felt her eyes welling. "Don't be snarky."

"I will be whatever I wish today. You gave me every right. Who knew you hid so much deceit in you…" He lips skimmed down to her jawline which he nibbled gently.

She closed her eyes and felt the hair on her arm coming alive. "When it comes down to shielding you I can become everyone's worst enemy. Never forget that."

"I shan't." He murmured and inhaled deeply the scent of her skin.

"Thorin seriously now…did you just give me your Royal Ring?" She murmured feeling her stomach twisting with the sweet pain of longing.

"Didn't you ask us to pretend that you took it just because you wanted it as a token of love from me?" He spoke with a hushed, but also coarse voice that loosened Eilin's knees.

Her fingers clutched his back and she bit her bottom lip. "You placed it next to my pendant."

"As a token of love…" He whispered.

"I thought you wanted to take the dove away for me as a punishment." She sniffled.

"This is my punishment." He kissed her cheek softly.

"Having your Royal Ring is my punishment?" She frowned.

"Yes. Now you have to carry the weight of my kingship over your heart forever…and protect it like you did today against any foe. That is no easy task." He murmured.

Her mouth curled up in beaming smile and her heart erupted with a dozen colors of affection. "I have your inner name embedded above my heart. Do you think the weight of your kingship scares me? I am ready to take on anyone who threatens you and our family."

He smiled. "Exactly like I said then. You are indeed my wounded lioness."

"Ready to tear apart anyone who touches you." She drew back and looked at his lips.

"As am I…never doubt that." He frowned.

She run her fingers through the silver locks of his wavy hair. "I know my fierce wolf…."

He came down and his huge frame covered hers. Then his lips imprisoned hers with a gentleness that moved her very soul. "You trusted me despite of all the controversies…"

"Yes." She exhaled upon his mouth.

"Regardless of you learning about my dishonorable actions towards Siv and the preposterous lies that Íth used in order to poison us." He pecked her once more allowing her to feel the precursors of a much more demanding touch.

"Yes…" She whispered and closed her eyes.

His mouth opened up to devour hers with such a repressed yearning that Eilin gasped in astonishment. If this was the way her husband wished to release all that negative energy and anger then she was all for it and she made sure to let him know instantly as she opened her mouth and reciprocated his passionate kiss with the same fierceness, eliciting a deep groan of gratification from his chest.

"These are Durar's rooms." She murmured.

"He is not here, is he?" He nibbled her upper lip and span them around.

She was firmly planted on the office cabinet and he pushed her knees apart in order to settle between them. "I thought you were still angry for Mahal's sake, not in the mood for love…." She wanted to sound reproving when in reality her voice came out a mere broken whisper.

"My anger only serves to feed my insatiable yearning for you even more. Will I sound rude if I ask you to fuck the irritation out of me?" He said and bit her jawline hard.

Her face lit up with a dazzling smile. "Oh, I like the sound of that…"

His tongue found a path down her throat and that woke up a river of shivers upon her spine. "And will you do it even though you are wounded?"

She closed her eyes in delight and tightened her grip on his long mane. "You made love to me ten years ago whilst your torso was cut in half and now after waking up from the deepest oblivion. You think a mere scratch is going to stop me?"

His hands pulled down her wet dress until it got caught above her nipples and there he lingered. "I want to admire your inked skin again." His voice was throaty.

Eilin cupped his buttocks and when she felt his hardness deliciously pressing upon her core she quivered from desire. "Well that was quick. Those tattoos really drive you mad, don't they?" She whispered.

"You have no idea." He exhaled and his tongue skimmed past her chest in order to worry the sensitive skin of her proud twins.

"Oh I think I have a pretty good idea." She closed her eyes and rubbed her temple on his wavy hair.

He made sure to pull down the cleavage of her dress so slowly past her nipples that the inevitable chafing sparked a fire in her core that made her hiss. He buried his face between her perky breasts and smiled knowingly. His lips ghosted her tattoo and his hands cupped them gently. When he felt her nipples hardening under his touch he exhaled warmly upon her skin. Then his tongue came out to trace the ancient inked runes and at the same time his fingers run over her breasts tormenting slow. She arched up to his touch and he reciprocated by twirling his long fingers around the peaks slowly.

Eilin felt every single cell of her body singing to his tune and she sought to pull him on her in order to offer a short-lived relief at her aching core. She tried to force herself to understand how all this came to be even though her mind was unable to function properly, tormented as it was by Thorin's wicked ways. The last thing she had been expecting when Durar begged her to interfere and save his niece, was to end up caged against this office cabinet with her husband ready to devour her.

She came in the rooms ready to face his wrath and suffer the consequences. She was ready to do anything it took to calm him down. However Thorin's expected rage proved to be rather weak against her. The moment he addressed her she knew from the tone of his voice that she had a good chance of ending this quickly.

However not in a million years had she been expecting Thorin to give her his Royal Ring as a love token and demand her body in order to channel his annoyance through their coupling. Still she was partly uncertain of what emotions were overflowing his mind as his mouth abandoned the center of her chest and slid gently upon her mount in order to lick over her sensitive nipple. She decided to voice her worries. "Are you still mad?" She whispered.

"Vexed beyond count." He groaned and sucked her breast in.

She smiled and closed her eyes when she felt his hand gliding up past her knee and coming around the inside of her thigh. "Is this part of my punishment, like the Ring was?" She murmured.

"Indeed it is." He blew out the scorching heat of his breath upon her nipple and Eilin liquefied in a pool of heated anticipation. His long fingers got buried under her undergarments and found her already open folds. He spread the creaminess of her want upon the center of her pleasure and she moaned shamelessly loud.

She decided to return the favor by making an attempt to co-ordinate her hands in order to undress him, yet he resisted. "Our clothes stay on." He warned.

"Why?" She murmured in total abandonment.

"In case anyone comes…" He spoke with such carelessness about possibly ending up in a very compromising situation that Eilin found herself confused but also aroused more.

She grabbed hold of his vest and squeezed her eyes tight as his thumb caressed her core softly enough to make her knees loosen up and her stomach to become tensely hot. The distant traces of an orgasm began forming in the pit of her belly and she opened her legs wider to allow him all control. His mouth abandoned her well licked nipples and found its way up to her neck which it worried thoroughly.

Her head leaned back in order to allow him all access and she felt his long finger sliding slowly into her heated depths. She gasped and her hand found its way on the plank of his trousers. He pushed against her palm and when another finger pried her open she drowned a moan and pulled his pants down so hard that one of his suspenders broke. She laughed then and it was hearty and honest and he responded with a laugh of his own that made her stomach bubble up….but soon that loving laughter ended up in a rasping whisper as her fingers skimmed past the unbearable softness of the skin on his hard muscle.

She licked her bottom lip a mere moment before his teeth captured it instead and deepened the touch into a passionate kiss that turned her insides into a pool of melted lava. Her answer was to wrap both of her fists around him with such a craving that a guttural groan erupted from his chest and got buried in her mouth.

"You look so sexy in this wet dress…" He murmured.

Her palms run his length and she gritted her teeth against the need to feel him inside her. She tried to hold onto the last threads of self-control she owned in order to counter the steady rhythm his practiced fingers were offering her core which was raveling tighter and tighter with each passing moment, but it was difficult to concentrate. What his tongue was doing to her mouth and what his fingers were doing to her inner muscles had stolen away every single ability to think logically and offer her services back at him. The fact that they were mere inches away from coupling fully dressed, in a dark enclosed room that belonged to one of Erebor's High Lords was already undoing her.

Steadily she got built up to a point of no return and before she could lose every single thread of her sanity she pulled him to her and whispered. "Now…."

He cupped her cheek and drew away from her demanding teeth that had grabbed firm hold of his lower lip in order to give her one single gentle peck. Then he removed his wet fingers from her heat and pushed her hand away in order to take over. The anticipation she felt twisting in her stomach was sort lived as he slid through her wet folds below and at the same time his tongue glided through her lips in order to dance around hers playfully…..

…and that catapulted Eilin in pure heaven.

One of her hands came down to cup his buttocks and the other slid between his long locks in order to hold him close as he began thrusting in her depths slowly. She responded to his tender kiss with unexpected aggressiveness. He paused for an uncertain moment before answering with a wave of passionate assertiveness of his own that she embraced with all her heart and soul.

They mated persistently, mostly buried in the shadows. Completely silent if one excluded the rustling of their clothes and the steady creaking of the old cabinet under Thorin's deep lunges. Slowly yet surely they lost touch with reality. Only Eilin's beautiful and soft curves existed for Thorin and only his overpowering presence existed for her as they pushed and pulled each other upwards with their familiar rhythm of love.

The only thing Eilin truly missed at that moment was to feel his skin against hers so she drew down his vest and then pulled his tunic back so she could reveal his shoulder. Her mouth opened up to taste the saltiness of his sweaty skin and then her teeth followed to nibble on him greedily. His response was to quicken his pace and cage her even harder against the poor cabinet which was taking quite a beating.

"This feels perfect…" She murmured overcome and her tongue came out to lick his tight muscles enjoying the way the contracted under her probing. The precursors of a -much sought after- orgasm were already galloping towards her overwhelmed body and she opened her thighs more in order to chase it better. She ached to use his insistent plunging and the ferocity with which he was claiming her in order to grab her release and bring it home.

That is when something unexpected happened which made them both tense and look towards the door with dread in their eyes.

"Are you in Eilin?" It was Dis' voice and it sounded rather worried.

"Thorin?" Dwalin's stern voice came next.

Eilin hissed and her nails dug into Thorin's biceps. "Shit!"

He looked down at her and she recognized the twinkle of longing in the depths of his foggy gaze. "Hush…" He whispered and the previous shocked stillness of his hips resumed with a deep roll that made Eilin's body open up like a star once more in preparation for the inevitable.

"Stop…we cannot do this now. Not with them outside!" She whispered, but she didn't make an effort to push him away. Her body seemed to appreciate him recommencing his previous pace.

"Yes, we can." He said and kissed her deeply.

As his hips lunged upon hers, all prudence flew away from her mind and she began wondering if it would be very wrong to come with her sister-in-law outside the rooms. Her poor body certainly didn't seem to have a problem reaching quickly the previous state of arousal despite Eilin's embarrassment that had spread a patch of redness across both cheeks and on her upper chest.

"This is so improper…" Eilin's whisper was feeble.

Thorin cupped her cheek and dipped his mouth under her chin in order to kiss her tender neck. "No it isn't…I won't stop now. Even if the whole Realm collapses I will continue unless you stop me." He provoked her.

"I can't…" She winced defeated and when his hips began rolling deeper and faster she fisted his tunic in order to hold onto the last hints of dignity that were now solemnly under his control.

"Maybe they left?" Dis asked.

"Durar said he left them in here and Thorin was dangerously angry." Dwalin's voice was heard next.

Eilin inhaled sharply, but Thorin's lips ghosted at the side of her mouth. "I have this…and I have you." -He reassured her without stopping his deep plunging. Then his voice came more commanding and in control than Eilin would have ever thought possible- "We are in here. Give us a moment."

Eilin shuddered hard and closed her eyes. "Tho-rin…" She stammered, ready to break apart.

"I am here." The gentleness of his voice, the depth of his penetration and the softness of his lips on her mouth were enough to allow her to touch the light, to her utter humiliation. She inhaled sharply and muffled her moans on his shoulder. His long fingers caressed the back of her head and his mouth slid over her reddish curls as she unfolded her passion for him repetitively. The voices of the occupants of the other room were not heard again, but neither were Eilin's hard exhalations, as she felt him becoming harder inside her.

When he was certain that she had found her euphoria he released all steel grip on his control and abandoned himself at the moment. His thrusts turned firmer and more demanding and his pounding ended up turning almost desperate as he chased his own release, which finally came so fast and so hard that he collapsed upon her overwhelmed. She cradled him for several moments as he rode down his pleasure, feeling his strong body shuddering under the pleasure she offered him.

Then her lips curled down and she caressed his long hair. Her mouth skimmed past his earlobe. "Thorin I know I never told you and I may sound twofaced to do so now after coupling so many times, but it is rather risky to come inside me during these days …"

His nails dug on her hip and he bit his lower lip as he tried to slow down the wild beating of his heart. "I know…"

She felt momentary confusion. "You do?"

A gentle nod was his only answer.

Instantly her heart filled with exhilaration. She kissed his sweaty cheek and smiled contently. "So did we love the anger out of you adequately?"

"Could have done with more if those busybodies weren't out there." He smiled.

"We need to go to them. You made sure they learned we were in here when you talked to them." Eilin hugged him tightly, not wanting to let him out of her arms.

"And I also made sure they'd shut up and let me concentrate." He smirked.

"You are a very-very wicked man." She smiled cunningly.

"And you love that."

"Oh, yes." She smiled and pecked his lips.

He looked regretfully towards the door. "We should go to them."

"Like this?" She looked at their disheveled state.

He shrugged. "We have no other choice."

"We can get buried in here till the next century." She offered.

He pulled away from her and she instantly regretted the emptiness inside. "You know I adore your awkwardness."

She beamed up to him. " I am glad we got over our argument in this manner."

"We should do that more often. It's much healthier than what we were doing before." He returned and pulled up the cleavage of her dress, but not without offering several butterfly kisses on her bosom. Then he straightened her undergarments and lowered her dress respectfully.

"That suspender is long gone." She got off the desk and looked at it regretfully.

"The other one shall have to do." He gave her a playful wink and pulled up his trousers. They took several moments to groom each other the best they could and then with one last loving kiss they stippled their fingers and walked to the door.

Before he could place his hand on the handle, Eilin jerked him back. He looked at her with a frown of confusion. "What?"

"Did you understand what I told you back there about these risky days?" Her eyes were eating him up.

"Of course."

"And you said you already knew…" Her brow wrinkled.

"Yes of course." He gave her a heart-warming smile and tucked a long wavy lock behind her ear tenderly.

She nibbled her bottom lip and came up on tiptoe. "I love you." She whispered.

He tapped her lips softly with his. "I know that too." He teased.

"Don't be a smart-ass…" She warned playfully.

He smoothed his lips over hers. "Should we go out?"

"No…let's stay here forever." She snorted.

His eyes stared at her well-kissed lips transfixed. "Your word is my command."

Her face mellowed. "That's a lot of burden for my weak shoulders."

"Weak shoulders? You are the strongest woman I have ever met…you are the mother of Durin the Deathless and he remembers choosing his parents quite clearly. Don't you trust in the decisions of our might forefather? If he judged you strong enough to raise him, then you are stronger than anyone else….including me." He spoke in a hushed voice, which caressed all the nerve endings in her body.

Eilin run her thumb above the curled hairpin at the side of his mouth musingly. "That is what he said?"

He nodded proudly. "Word for word."

Her eyes twinkled. "Come let's go…"

He nodded and allowed her to take the lead. When they opened the door they came face to face with Dwalin and Dis whose eyes betrayed all the worry they were feeling inside…something that didn't last long. The moment they looked at the Royal couple, they understood exactly what Thorin and Eilin had been up to.

Dis covered her eyes and turned around. "Oh, hell no…just no!"

Dwalin snorted and crossed his arms. Then he looked towards his boots. "Durar said you were furious and in need to be contained. He was afraid what you were capable of doing to your wife, whilst in that mood."

Thorin gave Eilin a cunning side-glance and she hid her face on his bicep embarrassed. "I feel better."

"I bet you do! This is not what I had in mind when I came to find you in order to help your wife!" Dis sounded rather cross.

"She doesn't need any help." Thorin rebuked playfully.

"I was never in any danger from my husband….come on now." Eilin raised her hand with a silly smile painted on her flustered face.

"That is blindingly obvious." -Dis flayed her arms in the air, but didn't turn to face them - "Go to your rooms and don't come out unless you take a thorough bath and change clothes. You two look like a mess!"

Thorin laughed heartily. "I am sorry Dis, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable, but I wasn't the one who came uninvited in the middle of the night."

"These aren't your rooms you bloody fool and we thought you were in trouble, both of you! I mean I love you, but this…" –She pointed at them above her shoulder- "…this…situation….vexes me beyond reason."

Thorin enfolded Eilin close to his heart and gave a warm kiss on her forehead. "This is my wife Dis…I have every right to be with her."

"In the confinements of your rooms you twisted old man, not here!" Dis chastised.

Dwalin chuckled. "Leave them alone." –Then he turned to Eilin- "So did you face your husband's inevitable punishment?"

Eilin caressed Thorin's Royal Ring with a smile of contentment. "Yes and I loved it."

Dis humphed angrily and crossed her arms.

"Thank you for your untimely intervention….both of you have no sense of propriety really." Thorin returned lightheartedly and led Eilin towards the door.

As they walked past Dis she covered her eyes with her hands. "We lack propriety? You should be saying that for yourself!" She spat in obvious repulsion.

"Calm down Dis. Nothing serious happened." Thorin shook his head.

"Nothing serious? I almost caught you at it!" Dis shook her shoulders in order to get rid of the inappropriate images that formed in her mind and made her skin crawl.

"You've helped Eilin give birth to all our children, which I thoroughly planted in there. How did you think that happened? By magic?!" He frowned, but he was not serious in his scolding.

"Shut up for Mahal's sake…I don't want to know how it happened!" Dis spat, covered her eyes and turned around feeling her cheeks on fire and her stomach revolting.

"Fine. Can we split this pleasant get-together? You can go to your rooms and forget this ever happened and we shall go get the kids and catch up on some sleep. Right?" Thorin looked at Eilin for affirmation.

"That sounds lovely." She smiled and caressed his chest.

"Go…just leave….go and rest. I will keep the children tonight." Dis rejoined angrily.

Thorin frowned at Eilin. "You wanted to see Durin."

"Is he alright?" Eilin asked Dis eagerly.

"Yes he is playing with Urkar and his siblings. They are making arrows." Dis said dismissively.

Eilin nibbled her bottom lip. "If he is okay, then I would love to get some rest alone with you." She looked up at her husband.

"Thank you gerbil." Thorin's smile was grateful, but his sister didn't see him.

Dis waved them away without opening her eyes. "Please leave…this is the fuel of nightmares." -When the door closed she finally opened her eyes and looked at the rather amused bodyguard- "What are you smirking at?"

"Who knew how bashful you truly are." Dwalin rebuked.

Dis' face flared in anger. "This is not me being bashful. This is me being disgusted at having caught my brother at it. Can you imagine catching Balin in the act?"

At that Dwalin's face plunged in repugnance. "Well we didn't walk in on them so we were partially spared…but yes I get what you mean."

Dis crossed her arms and gave him a curt nod. "There you have it then."

Dwalin pursed his lips. "Well at least they didn't destroy the hard earned peace they have found in each other lately, due to the latest events. That is more than enough for me."

Dis' shoulders slouched and she looked away at that, thinking that Dwalin was absolutely right. This misadventure didn't create any more wounds at her brother and his wife and for that she was also deeply thankful.


	34. One man, two faces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I edited this once only, so I probably have missed a lot of mistakes. I wanted to upload because I am too late and I will check on it again tomorrow.

Thorin opened his eyes slowly and looked at her figure that was standing in front of the window draped by the rays of the sun that slid through the canopy. His blurry eyesight was able to discern the soft waving of her long night-dress as it outlined her long thighs and the perfect curve of her buttocks. His chest welled as a wave of bliss filled his heart. His gaze followed the semi-transparent flowy dress up her sides and caught a fleeting glimpse of her full breast before the long reddish locks of her thick mane draped over that arousing sight. He settled back into the pillow and stretched feeling the traces of an unquenchable longing tickling his loins. It was amazing that after three children and more than ten years of being together, her shapely figure could still arouse him with such an ease. He buried his muscular forearms under the fluffy pillow and smiled in fulfillment as his body still felt heavy from his slumber. He inhaled deeply intending to admire her quietly for as long as he could before probably sleeping some more, but the sudden change of his breathing has already alerted Eilin.

She turned around and when she saw his gorgeous azure eyes open, the smile that dawned upon her pretty features was astonishing."You are awake my love."

He closed his eyes briefly and nodded. "Yes."

She made to come to him, but he pulled one arm from under the pillow and showed her his large scarred palm. "Stay there…please."

Eilin tucked a long wavy lock behind her ear and smiled. "Why?"

"Because your beauty is a utopia for my aching eyes." He said softly.

She lowered her eyes bashfully. "You have a way with words."

"I can rephrase it if you wish." He offered.

She raised her brow.

"I want to admire the wind blowing that airy dress around your curvaceous figure while I am still heavy from sleep. This is the idea of heaven for me." He continued.

She sighed deeply and caressed her necklace with her thin fingers. "You woke up in a good mood I see."

He smiled. "You are the first thing I am seeing, how can I not wake up with a smile?"

She walked over and sat down at the bed next to him. Then her hand came up to clear his thick locks from his brow. "So you are in the frame of mind for some love again?"

He pulled down her fingers in order to give them a gentle kiss. "Admiring you is all I need right now."

She caressed thoughtfully the scar upon his temple that had cut his perfectly arched brow in half ten years ago. "I was so afraid I was going to lose you." She whispered and he heard the slight dark change in her tone.

His brow creased. "What do you mean?"

She closed her eyes and her finger slid past his temple and down to his warm cheek. "When you fell in oblivion, I truly thought I was going to lose you."

He saw the tear pooling at the edge of her eye and felt his heart crying out in sudden pain. He had never truly taken a break from everything else that happened after he woke up to think how his illness had affected Eilin. He turned around and cupped her cheek. "Hey…look at me."

She didn't open her eyes as she was afraid that her hot tears would then be released.

His thumb caressed under her jawline softly. "Please look at me."

She gritted her teeth and opened her eyes that were by now obviously wet.

"I am here." He raised his brows.

"I know…" –She closed her eyes and two heavy tears rolled down the side of her nose- "And you don't know how thankful I am of that. You have no idea how many times I have woken up in the middle of the night in order to kneel down and pray to Mahal for your recovery. How many times I thanked him for allowing you to stay with me more. I told him…." Her voice broke and she was unable to continue.

He pushed up and came at a sitting position. "Hey, come on…" He frowned and pulled her in his arms.

She cuddled there like a child. "…..I told him that I cannot live without you. I told him that he doesn't need you to help him build his Great Halls, that he has enough important Dwarf-Lords to help him already. That he should spare you, because your family needs you more than him. I told him to leave you alone…was I rude to him?"

She sounded so insecure and shattered that Thorin's heart cried out in agony. He caressed her back firmly and cupped the back of her head securing her upon his chest. "You told him well and good. I am not ready to abandon my family in order to help some God do construction up in heaven." He tried to give this unexpected breakdown a more light tone.

She shuddered and wrapped her arms behind his back possessively. "I am not ready to see you leave me Thorin…"

"Neither am I my beloved." He closed his eyes and kissed her forehead adoringly.

"You have no idea how bad you looked when you were in stupor. I tried to call you back to me, but you were unable to hear me. I thought you were going to die." She sniffled.

"I couldn't hear you my treasure, I was lost inside nightmares that are best left unsaid." He frowned and his lips slid down to her temple.

She paused then. "What were they about?"

"Didn't I just tell you that is best left unsaid?"

She interrupted him. "I want to know…"

Another pause this time heavier and longer from him.

She pressed her arms around him encouragingly. "Please… it is important for me to know."

He closed his eyes. "I was trapped in the filthy dungeons of Dol Guldur with the company of my ghosts."

Eilin shuddered. "Who was there?"

"My father…."

"And?" She whispered.

He shook his head and his hot breath caressed the side of her cheek.

"Who else was there Thorin?" Her voice was unwavering.

He didn't reply.

She swallowed heavily. "Was it Siv?"

His breath hitched and that was enough of an answer for her.

"The people you think you wronged…" She muttered.

His long fingers tunneled through her hair at the base of her nape and his touch was smooth. "I couldn't hear you, because I could only hear the voices of my ghosts for the longest of times, but it was your crying that brought me back."

"My crying?" She frowned.

"I knew you were out there crying alone and my heart couldn't take it." He admitted with such heart-felt honesty that Eilin's eyes burned anew.

She hugged him tightly. "I have never been so scared in my life. Not even when I was raped did I feel such desolation and heart-ache as when I saw you unconscious."

"I didn't want to scare you so bad. I did everything I could not to worry you and ended up worrying you even more." He muttered.

"You concealed your sickness from me. That was a punishment I didn't deserve Thorin. No matter how bad our arguments were I never deserved to be cut out of your life like that." Her voice was broken.

"I only did it to protect you, not to punish you." Several tears run down his cheeks and pooled on his beard. His arms hugged her tightly.

"Don't die on me ever…please." She begged totally overcome.

He gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes. What his mind wanted to say came in direct conflict with what his heart wanted to answer. He had to prepare her for the inevitable, but hadn't he tried to do so for years now? Hadn't he explained that he was a warrior at heart and that his demise would be inevitable at the end? Hadn't he spoken those painful words time after time while she seemed to quietly accept the immensity of his dark fate? Hadn't he explained that they had to value every single day being together because they lived in a dangerous world, during perilous times? That no one knew when an attack would take place and destroy their peaceful life? That in case of a war he'd step in front of all his army and lead them to battle? That his life was at stake all the time due to his titles and above all due to the heavy history that followed his name? His beautiful wife knew all that already…she didn't need a reminder. "I promise I won't." He said softly and kissed her forehead.

Her crying stopped instantly and she inhaled deeply. "You do?"

He nodded. "Yes."

"You won't try to remind me of the cruel reality like you do every time?" Her fingers curled down and fisted his tunic.

"No."

"You promise to live on forever? That you will wait for me to die first?" She muttered.

He felt a knife slashing through his heart. "Why do you want to pain me in such a manner now? Who told you I can imagine my life without you?"

That gave her pause. "That was unfair of me…"

"It was." His fingers entwined through her mane.

"Do you want me to promise to live forever too?" She sniffled.

He closed his eyes. "Yes, please."

She exhaled. "I promise."

"And I do too." His voice was broken.

A long pause ensued while they tried to calm each other down with their soft touches. "I know our promises are empty Thorin because we cannot control life, but they do mean a lot at this moment."

"I know." -He exhaled hotly upon her temple- "I know my love."

It took her several deep breaths in order to speak again. "Thank you for indulging me in this manner." Her gentle hands run up and down his wide back.

He smiled. "I am sorry I made you suffer."

She frowned. "Please don't hide how you feel from me….ever again."

"This misadventure taught me that being this confident of my hardihood is not wise. Sometimes I have to admit defeat and ask for help." He said quietly.

"Is it that difficult to do so, especially from the people who love you dearly?" She pulled back and looked at his eyes.

"It shouldn't be…" he frowned.

"Yet it is." She cupped his cheek gently.

He gave her a soft nod. "Yes."

"Why?" -She urged him on- "Aren't couples supposed to share everything between them? Haven't we perchance done so? You spoke to me about your worst fears, your most terrifying nightmares and what you believed to be your dishonorable past. It shouldn't be so hard to reveal to me if you feel afflicted by an illness."

He found a hard-time forming his thoughts into words. "I am supposed to be the pillar of Erebor, of the Northern Alliance…of my family. So many lives depend on me…I cannot break down. I am not…allowed….don't you see?"

She placed her warm palms upon both his cheeks and gazed straight into his soul. "You might be the King of the North, yet deep down you are just a man. My man to be precise….who can also fall sick, feel tired and in need of rest. You are a father who needs a break from the demands of having three children too. You are carrying upon your shoulders the weight of the whole world, but you need to find someone you trust enough to unload that weight upon when everything gets too much."

"That'd be you." He smiled.

"I was hoping you'd say so." She raised her brow and caressed the cute hairpin at the side of his mouth.

His brow clouded. "I don't want to overburden you with my troubles Eilin."

"So you end up pushing yourself to the limit, forcing yourself to lift all that weight despite your inability to do it…and what is the result?" She looked at his mouth ponderingly.

He shook his head not wanting to answer.

"Breaking down on me completely….." –She muttered and then her brows scowled- "I almost lost you. What you are doing is not fair to me, even though you are doing it for me." Her voice broke again.

"I know…" He swallowed heavily.

"Please talk to me from now on…" She forced her eyes open and her gaze was demanding.

"I will." He nodded softly.

"I know I have overtaxed you with my own insecurities and about my father….and …." She looked away uncertain.

He cupped her neck and pulled her in for a kiss that tasted with the saltiness of her tears. "I am here to take on all your burdens."

"And I am not?" She looked at him with heart-taking honesty.

"You are right…..you should be my lifeline." He agreed painfully.

"As you have always been mine in every difficulty. Please don't lock me out Thorin despite the arguments that may arise from time to time." She wiped her cheeks and tried to smile.

"You think it was our quarrels that silenced me?" He frowned.

"Even though you explained why you have been so secretive, I cannot but assume that our fights assisted that isolation, since they drew us further apart. When you clash with someone day and night you don't feel the need to share your troubles with them….isn't that right?"

He couldn't disagree. "No you can't."

She looked away discouraged. "Please don't ever let us drift that far apart ever again."

His forearm flexed, yet his touch on her neck was soft. All that tension remained locked inside. "Never."

"We can solve everything if we talk, right?" She came up and hugged him tightly.

"Yes my beloved." He kissed the top of her head.

"If you dare hide your illnesses from me again I am going to create a knuckle sandwich out of your ridiculously handsome face, alright?" She smiled contently.

He leaned his cheek on her luscious red curls and snorted. "That was the most interesting threat ever…"

"Which I will make come true. Don't you test me!" She advised.

He squeezed her tight. "I won't."

She nodded and kissed his exposed chest. "Good."

"I am so glad we talked about this." He exhaled in obvious relief.

"Talking is healing…." She murmured and rubbed her soft cheek on the roughness of the dark hair on his wide chest.

They cradled quietly for several moments before he spoke again. "Is this why you were already awake today when I opened my eyes?"

"I was thanking Mahal for letting you stay with me longer. I was admiring you sleeping so untroubled, so serene. I could regard you in quiet slumber till the end of all time." Her voice was a mixture of playfulness with an undertone of bitterness.

"We really need to get away for a little while Eilin…." His voice was heavy with the traces of oppression.

She frowned. "I know you need a break."

"We all do…we need to leave soon after we arrive at Erebor." He rejoined.

She pulled back and grasped his biceps. "I will take care of the kids and the baggage. I can be ready within a couple of days. I haven't forgotten your promise of visiting the Shire."

His hands rested softly at her waist. "I am glad you didn't."

"How quickly can you get disengaged from your office obligations?" She raised her brows.

"So we are really doing this?" His smiled widened.

"Of course we are." Her face lit up.

"I can do it within a couple of days too." He reassured her.

She pulled him down and skimmed her soft lips upon his. "So we have a deal? We both start preparing the moment we get back home?"

He nodded and pecked her gently. "Yes. Roac returned from the Shire. Bilbo is expecting us."

"When do we leave the Realm then?" She smirked.

"This afternoon." He raised his brow.

Her smile widened and she hooked her arm behind his neck firmly. "I love you Lord Oakenshield, King Thorin, King of the North and King of my heart."

"I love you too my precious gem." He offered her a stunning smile and succumbed willingly to her deep kiss that filled his heart with beautiful threads of bliss….never wanting to lose the paradise that he had found in this woman's arms.

* * *

 

They managed to prepare for departure far quicker than Eilin had anticipated and by dusk they were already at the gates of the Realm telling their respectful goodbyes. Thorin was in deep conversation with Lord Elrond and King Thranduil who seemed captivated by him despite his controlled and cold countenance. Dis was talking with Tauriel and Durin was a little ways off with Celebriel being overlooked by Lord Elrohir. Aragorn and Lady Arwen were already mounted as was Dwalin, Oin and Durar who was holding the reigns of Thorin's horse. He kept eyeing angrily at Íth who was riding a small pony next to him and had her hood drawn very low upon her eyes. Eilin and Rhiannon were sitting at the back of a spacious carriage that was offered by the Elven King for the Royal family. At the helm was Balin who was holding the reins loosely in one hand while with the other he was cradling his head ready to fall asleep. The only one who was not mounted upon an animal was Othin who was standing behind the Queen's carriage with his hands crossed. His had his threadbare satchel upon one shoulder and his golden bow across his chest.

Eilin sat back and crossed her arms. "Why wasn't he given a horse?"

Rhiannon winced. "King's orders."

"So is he supposed to walk on foot behind this carriage and all these horses?" Eilin glared at Thorin from afar.

Rhiannon shrugged.

"Sometimes I don't understand what Thorin is thinking when he gives such orders. Cannot he ride behind one of our animals or sit next to Balin?" Eilin fumed.

"I have no idea. I just related to you what the King told everyone. Master Urkar walks on foot behind the carriage." Rhiannon said with a wince.

Eilin humphed. "This is ridiculous. We don't treat the elder members of our kin with such disrespect. What's come over my husband all of a sudden?"

"If you want my advice, don't use the words –elder members- with your husband when describing Urkar." Rhiannon raised her brow.

"Why not?" Eilin scowled.

"Because they are not so far away age-wise." Rhiannon's lips toyed with the precursors of a playful smile.

Eilin snorted. "Oh, you gave me a reason to tease the soul out of Thorin."

Rhiannon rolled her eyes. "You are looking for trouble me thinks."

"I am going to tell him to drop all this nonsense and give this man a proper way to travel back to Erebor. He can barely stand…this elder member of our clan." Eilin's lips curled up snidely.

"Daddy is not old." Thrárin pouted and crossed his arms picked.

Eilin pulled him in her embrace. "I know he isn't, but I want to poke him a bit."

"Poke him?" Thrárin looked up with his huge blue eyes.

"She wants to have fun at his expense." Rhianaye chimed in.

"Are you going to side with your father now?" Eilin raised her brow.

Rhianaye thrust her chin up proudly. "Of course I will. First off my dad is not even close to this man's age and even if he was he doesn't look it! Second dad never orders something without reason. If he commanded this man should walk back then he knows something more than we do."

Eilin pinched her nose. "Don't play smart-ass with me young lady. If your father has reason to make this man suffer then he will have to explain it to me. The King maybe head of state, but the neck that holds that head up is me. Understand?"

Rhianaye huffed and looked away. "Perfectly well."

"And now you will scowl at me." Eilin deducted.

"Don't tease papa!" She raised her finger at her mother.

"After such a formidable threat I will draw back my claws from your precious daddy." Eilin ticked Thrárin who giggled.

Rhianaye squared her shoulders.

Rhiannon pursed her lips. "Maybe the little Princess is right."

"Well thank you!" Rhianaye lifted her hands in frustration.

"My quick witted daughter might be onto something and it is my job to find out exactly what is going on here, because this kind of attitude is so unlike the Thorin I know." -Eilin's countenance slowly became somber as her eyes concentrated on her husband once again. Then she huffed bothered- "Lord Urkar come closer please."

Othin did so, but didn't raise his eyes at her. "I am not a Lord your Majesty."

Eilin pursed her lips. "Master Urkar has anything happened between you and the King to cause him to have bad blood with you?"

That made Othin look up surprised. "Come again your Majesty?"

Eilin shook her head. "You and the King…is everything okay between you?"

Othin felt the color mounting on his cheeks way too fast and got dizzy. "My Lady I barely know the King, how can I be in bad blood with him?"

"Are you able to walk back to Erebor in this manner?" She frowned.

Othin bowed deeply. "It is an honor to escort the carriage of the Queen even if it is by foot."

"You can sit with Balin up front." She offered with a smile.

Othin looked fleetingly at Thorin and he shook his head. "Your Majesty, the King commanded me to follow on foot."

"I can command you to take a seat in the carriage and my husband won't deny my wishes." Eilin raised her brow.

"No your Majesty. I am honored to follow the King's word to my grave." Othin bowed deeply in respect.

Eilin settled back and gasped, still feeling the traces of annoyance tickling her spine. "Another despicably stubborn dwarf. I seem to attract them." She muttered and her eyes scrutinized Othin's bend figure and shaking hands until her heart pinched her painfully and awoke the pity in her even more savagely. Then she pressed her lips and looked at her husband who was talking majestically with the two imposing Elven High-Lords, ignorant of the distress that was brewing in his wife's highly empathetic heart.

* * *

 

Dis was staring rather intensely towards the moon-stone that was hanging around Tauriel's neck. "My Lady, I shouldn't be wearing in front of you…forgive me." Tauriel whispered and her long fingers covered the pendant affectionately.

Dis unglued her eyes with great difficulty and squared her shoulders. "It was a command you know."

Tauriel looked down at her lost.

"-Return to me- the runes on that stone. They are a command." Dis pointed at it, trying to hide how distraught she truly felt.

"I know." Tauriel closed her eyes.

"Who told you? My son?" Dis' eyes lit up with so much emotion that they were very hard to behold.

Tauriel shook her head. "The Queen…"

Dis gazed back at the carriage were Eilin was sitting looking rather vexed towards her husband. Her mind flew away for a few brief moments. When she found Tauriel's eyes once more they were full of tears. "I commanded him to return to me…yet he failed to do so." Her voice was diminished and she felt her own eyes burning with tears too.

Tauriel couldn't speak.

"You know when you send out your own flesh and blood on a war, you know they might not return…." Dis' voice was void of any emotion.

Tauriel didn't know what to say to that.

"That is why I gave him that moon-stone with that command….just to feel safer in the knowledge that he will do the best he can to return to me." Dis tilted her head.

Tauriel covered the stone with her hand and felt her heart freezing.

"When Thorin asked for volunteers at that accursed meeting back at the Blue Mountains with the intention of going back to Erebor and stealing the Arkenstone, so he could call the Seven Clans to attack and reclaim the Lonely Mountain I was there. I was standing at the corner of the cavern feeling my heart growing cold when I heard Fili offering himself and then Kili doing the same. They were the first ones to volunteer for that suicidal mission and the rest followed. I don't know what my brother was thinking when he accepted them to join in. I went to him….I fell at his feet, I kissed his hands and I begged him to allow my children to remain home. I knew this mission was doomed from the moment Thorin's formidable mind conceived it. He was ready to indulge me…I know him too well. I felt it in my heart when he smiled and embraced me that he was ready to tell me they'd remain home, but Fili had to intervene. Proud he was beyond count and followed by his even more courageous brother. He declared in front of the King that he would never back away from this mission and that if either Thorin or I forced them to remain they'd be shamed forever. They'd never be able to face the High Lords again with pride if their reputation got stained in this dishonorable manner. I grabbed Fili and yelled at his face that I didn't care about their reputation, only about their lives. It was Kili who replied that without honor their lives will be for naught. I backed away then and my heart broke into a million pieces never to become whole again. When they left I stood at the entrance feeling my soul departing with them and I knew…I somehow knew that not everybody would come back to me. I decided to follow the company three weeks after they left and made my way to the Iron Hills. I needed to be close to my boys…you understand." As Dis described the final moments she saw Kili alive her voice broke and so did Tauriel's heart.

"I am so sorry… He fought bravely till the end. He never wavered from protecting the King despite how much the King tried to protect him in turn." Tauriel said quietly.

Dis squared her shoulders proudly at that and dabbed her forefinger under her eye gently. "I know he did. My boys were proud warriors. They would have never abandoned their places despite the certainty of their demise. They were raised by Thorin after their father died and he taught them how to stand bold and smile at the Grim Reaper. His audacity which was passed down to my children, I both love and despise in him."

Tauriel unclasped the pendant and held it loosely in her palm for a few moments before offering it to Dis. "You should keep this."

Dis closed her fingers and pushed her hand away. "Kili gave it to you for a reason and Thorin was right to return it to you after my son's burial. It just wakes up painful memories whenever I see it."

Tauriel placed it upon her neck again and bowed her head respectfully. "Thank you so much."

Dis crossed her hands and pursed her lips. "I know I treated you unfairly when I first met you and rather indifferently for the subsequent years."

"I carry no bad feelings my Lady." Tauriel said respectfully.

Dis sighed deeply and looked at the carriage where Thrárin was trying to climb over the backdoor. "I know my youngest nephew has fallen in love with you."

Tauriel's cheeks glowed red and she looked away. "I fell in love with the boy too."

"You have a way to trap a Dwarf's heart as it seems." Dis raised her brow.

"The young Prince is exceptionally sensitive when it comes to nature and all the living beings in it. It is always a pleasure to be with him and show him the wonders of our forest. He is so willing to absorb every single bit of information I give him. My time with him is special and I would never change it for the world." Tauriel's honesty was heart-warming.

Dis looked back at the carriage. "Maybe you should come with us today."

Tauriel looked up surprised at that. "I haven't talked to my King for a leave of absence."

Dis waved her off. "I am sure Thranduil wouldn't mind telling his Captain to escort Thorin's family back to Erebor."

Tauriel looked back at Thranduil hesitantly.

"I haven't taken care of Kili's monument in a while…" Dis let the thought linger.

All the color drained from Tauriel's beautiful features.

"I would appreciate some assistance." Dis continued with the same quiet tone.

Tauriel's eyes filled with tears.

"Plus I am sure Thrárin will enjoy riding with you, instead of sitting with us at the back of the carriage." Dis' smile may have looked forced, but it was very honest.

Tauriel dabbed her eyes and bowed deeply. "I will go and talk to my king immediately my Lady. It will be an honor to assist you."

Dis' lips curled up slightly.

Tauriel took a couple of steps towards Thranduil, then she stopped, turned around and dashed over to Dis. She knelt and pressed the Princess' hand on her forehead. "Thank you for allowing me to see him again…" She whispered.

Dis' hand lingered above the She-Elf's head for a few moments and then withdrew without touching her. "I will be expecting your answer. Go."

Tauriel kissed her hand and then hurried over to her King who was still talking with Thorin.

* * *

 

Durin's penetrating eyes offered Elrohir such an assertive look that the Elven Lord raised his brow in response. Celebriel touched his forearm. "Don't look at him like that. He is already too angry with us."

"I don't like your father…" Durin spat.

Celebriel's mouth curled up in a small sad smile. "Then it is good that I like yours a lot."

That seemed to pacify Durin a little.

"He helped us so much the other day when he covered up for us. I will never forget his kindness." Celebriel continued quietly.

Durin nodded softly.

"You are a very lucky kid. I have read all of the stories that spoke of Oakenshield's bravery, but I never thought that he'd be so kind-hearted too." Celebriel added.

"Well, don't be so sure about that." Durin raised his brow.

Celebriel's face twisted in confusion. "What happened? Did he yell at you after we left? Did he punish you?"

"He has a way of making me feel awful without yelling at me and yes he did punish me." Durin dag at the dirt with the square tip of his boot.

Celebriel frowned. "What did he do to you?"

"He gave the precedence that I used to own according to my age, to my twin." Durin's voice came angry and his eyes spat fire towards the back of his father.

Celebriel snorted and covered her mouth.

Durin turned to her furiously. "You find that funny?!"

"Well it is a rather amusing punishment. So you have to do everything that Rhianaye commands you?"

Durin crossed his arms and fumed. "Yes!" He grumbled.

Celebriel chuckled. "You truly hate this."

Durin flared out his chest. "She is incapable of understanding the immense responsibility of this role."

"You are not giving her enough credit, I think." Celebriel raised her brows.

"She is a girl and she is younger than me!" Durin pointed furiously towards the carriage.

Celebriel straightened the tunic upon his shoulders. "Haven't I taught you anything about girls during all this time?"

Durin pushed her hands away. "I told you before you are not a usual girl. My sister is…she is…" He hesitated uncertain how to describe Rhianaye's special difficulties to this Elfling.

"Exceptional…" Celebriel assisted him with a huge smile.

Durin's lips reciprocated the smile. "That she is indeed."

"And rather clever from what I gather." Celebriel added.

"Too clever sometimes, especially with the academic studies and the Runes of the Elders." Durin sounded annoyed again.

"Then I would trust her." Celebriel patted his cheek.

He pushed her hand away and saw Elrohir tensing from the edge of his eyesight. "Be serious."

Celebriel observed him with pursed lips, but it was difficult not to smile.

"What?" He frowned.

She took something out of her pocket and looked at him with a half-hidden smirk. "Close your eyes."

"I hate it when you do that." He gritted his teeth.

"Don't be cranky. Close them." She pointed at him.

He did so and felt her placing something around his neck. Then she pulled back and looked at him proudly even though her father looked away unable to hide his frustration.

"What is this?" Durin opened his eyes and looked at a beautiful pendant of several precious gems that was in the shape of a star.

Celebriel crossed her hands and looked away bashfully. "It is one of my auntie's jewelry. She said I could give it to you."

Durin gazed at it lost. "Why give it to me?"

"As a gift…because you are a good friend and I had such an amazing time with you. Because I am leaving and I don't know when I am going to be able to travel back to Erebor to see you and because I will miss you…" Celebriel's lips turned down and her face twisted in misery.

Durin's nose flared. "I will come find you! Don't worry!" His hand closed around the pendant.

Celebriel's eyes filled with the first rays of hope. "You will?"

"I promised didn't I?" Durin's well-formed brow arched.

"But Rivendell is so far away…." Celebriel frowned in disbelief.

"My family and I are going on vacation at the Shire." Durin whispered and gave a worried side-glance to Elrohir who was observing them closely.

Celebriel's face lit up at that. "You will sneak out to see me?"

Durin smiled. "Yes."

"I will draw a star, like this one." –She pointed at his pendant- "Upon one of the secret entrances that lies in the vast lands of Eregion. Still how will you find it?"

"I will use Gundram." Durin smiled knowingly.

"Your crow…" Celebriel beamed.

"He can scour the lands and show me your entrance. I will send him over with a message when I am ready to come find you." Durin nodded.

Celebriel cupped her mouth and then screeched. Elrohir looked at them with a frown and so did Thorin whose attention was momentarily diverted from the conversation of Tauriel and Thranduil. Then she embraced him. "It will be perfect. I will show you our brilliant waterfalls!"

Durin returned her hug for a brief moment before pulling away. "Now enough hugs…I hate them." He chastised.

Celebriel grinned. "We will have a great time!"

"If I don't get caught." He puffed his cheeks and observed his father closely.

"Make sure you don't!" She pressed his hand and Durin's heart for the first time felt the first traces of a warmness that he couldn't identify.

"So what are you two doing here?" Thorin's voice dispelled the magic that was free flowing between the younglings.

Durin pulled back and looked at his boots. "Nothing dad, just saying goodbye."

Thorin caressed his hair and then smiled at the Elfling. "Young Lady it has been an honor to have met you." He offered her his hand.

Celebriel blushed and gave it to him.

He clasped it lightly and knelt in front of her. Then he kissed it softly. "The beauty of your family has always been awe-inspiring, but I see the Great Maker has exceeded himself when he blessed us with your ethereal existence. I bow in the presence of such an astounding splendor my young Lady and I pray to the Gods to honor me with many more years of life so I can admire you bloom to your full grandeur."

Celebriel's face became crimson and she looked away. "Th-ank you." She stammered.

Durin was looking like a hawk at what his father was doing and how he was talking when he saw how much Celebriel liked it.

"Am I allowed to hope that I will see you again one day?" Thorin caressed the back of her small hand with his long fingers.

"Yes of course!" Celebriel smiled brightly at him.

Thorin stared at his son. "Durin has been solely lucky to have earned such a good friend as you even though your mischiefs caused a lot of trouble at the Realm and a lot of grief to your poor parents."

Celebriel's face fell at that and Durin decided to chime in. "You know everything was my fault not hers."

Thorin looked at the pendant around his neck and raised his brow. "I know son. I am not chastising your friend. I am just warning both of you to be careful in the future. So what is this?" He pointed at it elegantly.

Durin covered it protectively. "A gift."

"From me to my best friend." Celebriel added eagerly.

Thorin smiled sweetly. "It is beautiful. Now come on son, have you finished with this young enchanting beauty?"

Durin cleared his throat. "No…I mean yes…No, I mean …give me a moment."

"Finish up and climb at the carriage. We are late, I don't want the clouds that are gathering in the west to catch up with us. Under the protection of Mirkwood we have no bad weather, but out there it looks like a rather menacing summer thunderstorm is forming." Thorin frowned and looked at the darkness that was slowly approaching the clearing.

Durin nodded. "Okay dad."

Thorin raised his hand without turning around and walked away.

Celebriel smiled at him. "This is why I like your father. Did you see how well-mannered he is towards a Lady?"

Durin cleared his throat and grabbed her hand. He pulled it to him roughly making her jerk. Then he knelt in front of her clumsily and kissed it. "I am happy to have you as a friend."

Celebriel cupped her freshly blushed cheeks. "Oh, thanks…."

Durin stumbled visibly. He released her hand and grabbed her shoulders. He pulled her in for an awkward kiss on her cheek. "And you are also ve-ry pretty." He stumbled.

Celebriel's mouth dropped open at that and she found herself devoid of speech.

Durin cleared several long locks away from his face and then he frowned. "But don't you dare tell anyone I told you so." He warned with a whisper.

Celebriel's mouth formed a dazzling smile. "I won't."

Durin gave her a curt nod and then ran after his father.

Celebriel rubbed her cheek and her face lit up. "You are indeed learning how to make a girl feel nice…." She murmured mesmerized.

* * *

 

Thorin exchanged a guarded look with Dwalin as the heavy rain poured down their faces, drenching them to the core. Thorin's prediction about those dark incoming clouds from the west was so accurate that they met with a rather hard summer thunderstorm the moment they exited the confines of Mirkwood. His family was well sheltered inside the covered carriage, but everyone else who was riding found themselves being mercilessly beaten down by the storm. The heavy rain was accompanied, by vicious gusts of wind that made the horses rather nervous and difficult to control.

Dwalin shook his head and looked above his shoulder. "He is not going to make it. You need to mount him on an animal now!"

"No way in hell!" Thorin thundered and shook the wet strands of hair away from his face defiantly.

"You are not thinking reasonably. He can barely walk. Look at him." Dwalin reproached.

Thorin gave a cautious look at the carriage which was slowly moving away from them and his eyes returned harsh and cruel upon the staggering figure of Othin who was trying to catch up with it. He fell and then pushed himself back up with great difficulty before stumbling behind the tracks of the carriage once more. "Let the others ride in front. We shall remain behind to keep an eye on him, but if you dare lay a finger to help him I am going to break your hand!" Thorin warned.

Dwalin shook his head. "As you wish you obstinate tyrant."

Thorin turned his horse around and followed the carriage from a distance, placing himself in between it and Othin who was dragging his legs upon the muddy road. They remained like that for a long time. A somber parade under the insistent rainfall and Thorin rebuked every try Dwalin made about Othin's apparently frail body being unable to make the whole trip. He gritted his teeth and kept his cold eyes upon the end of the long road ahead where he could see the outline of the Mountain slowly appearing through the mist. He didn't intend to show any mercy on Eilin's father, as he didn't show any mercy on her when she was suffering alone all these years. He saw this as part of his well-earned punishment and no words that Dwalin would say, could make him have a change of heart.

After a long time when the hard rain started slowing down to a mere drizzle he saw his wife's head popping from the opening of the tent. She raised her hand and he kicked the flanks of his horse in order to ride up to her. When he alighted with the carriage, he leaned down and grasped her hand. "Is everything alright?"

Eilin smiled and looked above her shoulder. "Yes my love."

"Then why did you call me over?" Thorin frowned.

"I cannot remain silent a moment longer. I've been observing what's been happening back there for far too long." Her eyes seemed accusing.

"What do you mean?" Thorin straightened, feeling rather taken aback by the change of mood in Eilin's voice.

"Master Urkar can barely walk and even though you and Dwalin have remained behind to look out for him, neither of you is offering him a ride." Eilin pointed at him.

"He doesn't need a ride." Thorin reproached coldly.

Eilin humphed. "Is there something going on between you and this man that I am unaware off?"

"No." Thorin looked away towards the horizon, avoiding her piercing eyes.

"They why do you deny to help him?" Eilin frowned.

"He doesn't need help." Came the hard reply.

Eilin exhaled roughly. "Don't take on that attitude with me King Thorin." She raised a finger warning him.

Thorin paled.

"I know you like the back of my hand!" –Her voice dropped- "I have seen you carrying sick elders on your shoulders. I have seen you lifting up wounded soldiers like they were babies and I have seen you sacrificing yourself in order to help your people hundreds of times and you always acted with a humanity…a philanthropy that is both rare and deeply admirable. That was one of your biggest assets in my eyes. One of the many that made me fall in love with you."

Thorin cringed and looked away.

"What is happening now with this man? He saved our children and he never required anything that we didn't offer ourselves. Why are you acting so cruelly to him when I know there is hardly any cruel threads in your heart?" Eilin continued with a softer voice meant to placate.

"Why am I acting cruelly to him?" Thorin snapped feeling annoyed by Eilin's poking.

Her face settled and she pointed at him. "He has a difficulty walking in the midst of this heavy rain while we ride on a golden carriage and you upon your proud steed. I heard the stories of you leading your people in exile and how you dismounted and offered your horse to the elders of your race…yet now I see a great contrast!" She rebuked.

Thorin's jawline flexed. "Don't compare these two situations."

"Why shouldn't I? Aren't they similar perchance? Isn't this an elder member of your kin in need of help?"

Thorin pressed his lips firmly and avoided her eyes.

"Why are you still riding while letting him stumble behind your proud horse? What I see here is not the Thorin I love and admire…" Eilin continued mercilessly.

"Enough! Are we going to argue now about this guy?" Thorin pointed at him dismissively.

"Well, at least we are not arguing about my father again." -Eilin's lips curled up softly and then she reached out and touched the bridle of his horse- "Come on now. Do me the favor. Act like the man I love…"

Thorin opened his mouth ready to reproach her for making him feel such guilt, while trying to get over the irony of how close she was to the truth when a groan of pain drew his attention as well as his wife's. They both turned in time to see Othin collapsing and remaining immovable in the middle of a shallow muddy pond at the side of the road. Eilin gasped and jumped off the carriage even though Thorin tried to stop her. "Where do you think you are going?"

"If you aren't going to do anything to help him, then I will!" She rebuked angrily and rushed to the immovable figure.

"Balin stop the carriage!" He shouted and then hurried after his wife.

"I told you to help him." Dwalin murmured as Thorin passed him by.

"Shut up." He spat and came next to Eilin who had turned Othin around and was checking his pulse.

"He is alive." She looked up to her husband with eyes that were full of worry.

"Ride up ahead and tell Oin to come back." -Thorin commanded Dwalin and then placed his arm under Othin's neck and loosened his scarf that was there in order to conceal the marks of Thorin's attack. Another wave of remorse got a hold of him and he tried to shake it away annoyed- "Can you please go back to the carriage and let me handle this?"

Eilin shook her head and patted the man's pale cheeks. "You should have allowed him to ride up with us. What came over you?"

Thorin didn't know what to tell her. How could he explain that his wrath towards this man was justified, when at the same time it seemed so unfair in her eyes? Hadn't she told him that what she did with Íth was because she wanted to avenge him? Thorin was avenging Eilin's pain in this manner and ended up looking like a callous bastard in her eyes. "Please let me handle him." His voice came softer, almost pleading.

"Like you did before?" She threw back at him.

He clasped her hand and squeezed it tight. "I will help him, just please go back to the carriage. I don't want you to get wet." The honesty of his voice this time reached out to her.

She swallowed heavily and caressed the back of his hand with her thumb. "Why did you act like that towards him?"

"I have many things on my mind Eilin and he was the last one I cared about. I wasn't being cruel to him. Merely indifferent." He tried to downplay the whole deal.

She cupped his cheek and looked at his lips. "That isn't you…" She whispered.

He leaned down and kissed her softly. "Please go back to the carriage. I will look after him."

She hesitated.

He looked down at Othin's eyes that were slowly opening up. "You with us old man?" Thorin slapped his cheek gently.

Othin mumbled something.

"Master Urkar, are you okay?" The honest concern in Eilin's voice slashed through Thorin's heart.

Othin gave her a faded nod. "Dizzy…" He stuttered.

"He needs to be taken back to Erebor fast." Eilin looked up at her husband fearfully.

"He is just exhausted. Oin will soon fix him up." -Thorin pursed his lips and looked irritably down at Othin's face- "Can you return to the kids?" He asked her one more time, feeling the edge of his nerves tingling with a lot of negative energy.

"No…I need to see if he is okay first." -Eilin cleared long greyish hair away from Othin's forehead- "Master, can you hear me?"

Othin nodded. "Y-es."

"Are you alright?" Eilin cupped his cheek which felt very cold.

Othin looked up at her and his eyes filled with tears. "Y-es…your Majesty…Dizzy. I can sta-nd up. I can follow the car-riage." He attempted to do so.

Thorin's heavy hand stopped him. "Don't move." He spat through gritted teeth.

That is when the old medical genius arrived and burrowed between the King and the Queen. "What do we have here?"

"An invalid." Thorin returned feeling his nerves tattering at the edges.

"He fainted. It must be exhaustion." -Eilin was looking between Othin and Oin who was checking his pulse. She remained silent, waiting for a verdict and so did Thorin, who only exchanged a few angry glances with his bodyguard without uttering a word. When finally Oin pulled back it was Eilin who asked- "So? Will he be okay?"

Oin shook his head and leaned over Othin. "Hey mate, you've been eating or drinking anything lately?"

Othin shook his head slightly.

"Why the hell not?" Oin looked up at Thorin confused.

The King didn't know what to say and neither did Dwalin who looked at Balin approaching.

"Why haven't you eaten anything master? Do you feel sick?" Eilin asked him with honest concern.

Othin closed his eyes and several tears run down his cheeks and got mingled with the steady drizzle from the sky.

Thorin felt the fire exploding in his chest. "Balin get my wife into the carriage by force if needed." He commanded abruptly.

Eilin looked up with a deep frown of disapproval. "Thorin!"

He raised his brow. "I told you that I have him more than once and that should be enough for you. Back to the carriage before I force you there myself!"

Eilin wavered in front of her husband's sudden explosion of a fury that felt unjustified in her eyes. "What's gotten into you?"

"Balin…" Thorin snapped.

The advisor wrapped his fingers around Eilin's bicep and pulled her up. "Please listen to your husband lassie and come with me."

Eilin's eyes darted from one to the other more confused than ever. "Will you help him?" She asked all of them, but mostly Thorin.

"I promised to do so. Now go." He said dismissively.

With one last anxious look towards Othin she followed Balin and entered the carriage. Then he climbed in front and set it in motion.

Thorin heard the wheels turning lazily on the muddy road and cleared the rain away from his eyes, which then turned demandingly at Oin.

"Don't look at me like that. I told the truth. He is fatigued and looks undernourished and dehydrated." Oin rejoined.

"Go back to Erebor and set up a bed for him. I will bring him back." Thorin said dryly.

Oin picked up his things and mounted on his horse. "No one should bet on Thorin's moods swings…they'd be sure to lose. He was fine just before we left." He muttered under his breath and set his horse on a trot, easily bypassing the carriage.

That left Dwalin and Thorin who kept looking at each other for several tense moments. "Don't you dare say a word."

"Did I?" Dwalin raised his brow.

"You were ready to do so." The muscles on Thorin's forearm flexed.

"My lips are sealed although they shouldn't be." Dwalin resumed flatly.

Thorin looked back down at Othin with lips that were pressed tight. "If I find out that you did this on purpose to gain the Queen's sympathy I am going to make you regret the day you were born." He spat.

Othin's eyes cracked open. "I didn't Sir. All-ow me to wa-lk be-hind her again. It is an hon-or to follow her whe-rever she goes."

"Spare me all the drama." -Thorin snarled and pulled him up easily. He placed him on his shoulder and walked back to his horse. Then he turned to Dwalin- "Ride alongside the carriage. I am going to hurry up with Oin."

Dwalin nodded and followed Thorin's instructions.

The King positioned Othin on his horse and then mounted behind him. He held him tightly with one arm and then put his horse on a fierce gallop. As he bypassed the carriage he saw his wife's eyes for a brief moment and he recognized the gratitude in them.

That was enough to quiet down the anger that was boiling in his veins.


	35. The Butchers of Azanulbizar

 

The next four days after their arrival in Erebor Thorin got buried in his office and arranged for everything to be in order after his departure. He didn't want to leave any open issues concerning the Alliance or the smooth operation of his Kingdom, despite that he had very adept commanders ready to take over at any moment. He hurried tirelessly from level to level supervising everyone, from the lowest miners to the most prestigious engineers and giving orders about everything to his subordinates. He asked from the chancellors of the four major residential areas to write down everything that needed regulation and bring him the drafts by the end of the fifth day so he could assign them to the proper people who would take over during his absence. He made sure all the giant furnaces, endless miles of air vents and water works functioned to perfection, so every maintenance that was programmed for the end of the summer was ordered to begin immediately. He checked their fortifications and went through the plans of their defense strategy with Dain and Fili in case of an impromptu attack. Finally he visited the shelters that were meant for the women and children to make sure they were properly taken care off. He even went to the four major escape exits that were sealed to the outside world. He made sure the levers that released those escape routes were operating properly and asked the maintenance workers to do a routine check on them just in case.

So busy was he during these days that Eilin and the children rarely saw him. He woke up very early in the morning before the bells tolled and returned usually after the kids were asleep. Eilin had seen him many times before being completely engulfed by the obligations of his office, so all this was not a shock for her. Eilin made sure to let him know that she didn't like it when he became so immersed in his work, but that meant little to him. He was resolute to see everything done before leaving and Eilin deep down could relate to this reasoning, even though she worried about his health. It had only been a week since he woke up from his blackout and he was still recuperating. He needed to rest more, but Thorin stubbornly brushed off her concerns. He kept on laboring every day without a single word of complaint and it was only late at night that he allowed himself to relax under Eilin's soft touch.

So as the days rolled by and the King prepared everything for their departure, the Queen took care of the kids and prepared their carriage, feeling utterly giddy for taking a break away from everything. However there was another thing that was troubling her mind in the midst of all those delightful thoughts of the Shire's endless rolling hills and green meadows. While Thorin was buried neck deep in his office scrolls, Eilin stole time in order to go and visit Master Urkar at the infirmary every day. Usually she went there in the mornings after making breakfast for the children and a couple of times they escorted her as well. She didn't know what it was about this man, but something upon his countenance felt so familiar, so warm and so inviting that she couldn't stay away. She refrained from telling Thorin about her visits there because she still felt a peculiarly cold and disagreeable wave coming from him whenever she talked about this man.

She tried to interrogate her husband more about the incident at the High Road, but Thorin refused emphatically to speak with the excuse of having a lot of work to do. That avoidance irked her beyond reason, but today when she made her way down to the infirmary she was determined to address all her questions towards master Urkar instead. Maybe he would have more answers to give than her enigmatic husband.

When she entered the infirmary, the patients stirred eagerly in order to offer her the proper honors, but no one made a bigger effort than Othin. Eilin hurried to stop them. "Please, rest. There is no need to act up for me. No, no sit down. No my Lady, please there is no need." She went from bed to bed and tried to reassure them, that they needn't lose their comfort for her.

An elderly Dwarrowdam whispered with a broken voice. "My beautiful Queen."

A wounded worker, bowed his head in deep respect. "Your Majesty."

Everyone tried to express their admiration and respect for her and she took the time to shake everyone's hand and offer a few words of comfort. She even shared the meat-pie she had cooked in order to get on Thorin's good side, with them. So when she sat down next to Urkar she had only two pieces left.

"My Lady! It is an honor to see you again." Othin lowered his head and tried to reach out for her hand.

Eilin pressed it firmly. "Please there is no need to kiss my hand every time. You are making me feel ancient." Her reproach was meant kindly and it showed.

"Forgive me." Othin didn't dare meet her beautiful eyes.

Eilin looked at the pie and without any regrets she took out a piece and placed it upon his lap with a napkin. "This is for you. I cooked it. Thorin loves it…..and now there is only one piece left for him."

Othin's eyes filled up with tears. He gave her the pie back. "Then save it for our King, my Lady, please."

Eilin pushed his hand back. "One piece is more than enough. I made so many people happy today and I wish to do the same for you. Besides my husband has an unlimited supply of pie. He's married to the cook!" She smiled brightly.

Othin's lips curled up in a timorous smile. "I am grateful for your attentions and feel so undeserving."

"Undeserving? My children are visiting you each day. That is the most solid testimony of how important you are slowly becoming to my family." She smiled.

Othin's brow clouded. "Thank you so much for standing up for me the other day."

Eilin nibbled her bottom lip uncertain how to approach this. "You mean the day you collapsed."

Othin nodded. "You needn't have jumped in to save me…." He muttered.

Eilin clasped his hand. "Of course I did! What nonsense are you talking about? My husband and I care deeply for every person who belongs to Erebor and you are no exception….."

Othin swallowed heavily.

"Even though Thorin did act surprisingly crudely towards you. Which is part of why I wanted to talk to you today." Eilin's voice faded.

Othin looked up at her briefly. "He had every right…he has every right…" He stumbled.

"Does he?" –She murmured. Then she looked at the pie and frowned- "Oh, but do take a bite and tell me what you think."

Othin hesitated, but under her intense scutiny he caved in. Instantly he was unable to hide the gratification that formed on his features. "You my Lady…allow me to say are a magnificent cook."

Eilin tucked a long lock behind her ear and blushed. "I used to work in a tavern. I cooked every day. I am glad you like it. I used one of Thorin's hunts for the filling along with many herbs and vegetables."

Othin took another bite which was rather clumsy and some of the filling stained his tunic.

Eilin took another napkin and helped him clean up.

Othin frowned and felt his body trembling like a leaf. "It is not your place to clean me up, your Majesty."

"It is my place to offer my people relief. Especially to those who are ill and weak." Eilin said, but allowed him to take the napkin and finish the job himself.

"You are too generous, possibly so to people who don't deserve it." Othin muttered feeling overwhelmed.

Eilin settled back and her hands shielded Thorin's piece of the pie. She took several reflective moments to address Othin again. "So…tell me."

Othin looked up at that and the confusion was clear in his eyes. "About what my Lady?"

"Why is your relationship with the King so turbulent? What makes him treat you so cruelly?" She said with breath-taking honesty.

Othin found himself bereft of speech.

"I am asking, because the same King who forced you to walk weak and ill in a muddy road, has also knelt down in front of the lowest miners in order to help them. He carried elders on his back without any trace of arrogance. I cannot find any common ground between the compassionate ruler who cares deeply about everyone in his Kingdome and the cruel monarch I saw acting haughtily indifferent to your toil. Therefore I wish for you to reconcile those two sides of him for me, please." Eilin said quietly.

Othin's brow filled with wrinkles of worry. "I am not the appropriate person to do so, your Majesty."

"And neither is my husband. I don't know you, but I know how stubborn he can become and he is unwilling to explain to me if there is some short of history between you that can explain this unfair treatment. I thought that maybe I had a better chance asking you." Eilin looked at him hopefully.

Othin began worrying the edge of his blanket by pulling several loose strings from it. Eilin observed him closely, but opted not to force him to speak until he was ready. Therefore she smiled and pointed at the pie. "Why don't you have another bite? Oin told me that you felt much better and that you shall be released tonight most probably or the latest tomorrow morning."

Othin looked up with a fleeting smile. "Yes, I feel better and I am most grateful to the King for offering me treatment, but above all to you."

Eilin patted his hand gently. "Can you be grateful to him, but truthful to me?"

Othin felt his throat closing down. He nodded softly. "I can try…"

She smiled sweetly. "Then tell me please. Is there a reason the King is treating you so unfairly?"

A gentle shake of Othin's head was her answer.

Her heart dropped and she touched his hand again firmer this time. "I swear to keep this conversation private if you wish me. I just want to understand what has gotten in my usually gentle and loving husband to act in this manner. I will not betray your trust."

Othin pressed his lips and his hand turned around in order to cup hers. There he felt his heart halting and all the blood draining from his face. "You don't know how long I have been waiting for this moment." He whispered and he was referring to holding her hand.

"What do you mean?" She frowned.

"To be able to speak the truth to someone." He muttered.

"Then do so. I am here for you." She urged him on with a kind smile.

Othin stood there frozen in utter silence for a long time and during that his eyes were fixed on their joined hands. His poor broken heart was unable to grasp how much it hurt to be able to touch his own flesh and blood so intimately. He gave another precious squeeze upon her hand and quickly –before she had the time to stop him- he pulled it up and placed a firm kiss on it.

Eilin's thumb caressed him gently. "Please talk to me. Make me understand." She whispered.

Othin nodded quietly and looked towards the blanket without allowing her hand to pull away. He egotistically wanted to keep it there forever…maybe because he wanted to try and make up for all the times that he was not there to hold it before. That was how he started talking. "I was born and raised in Erebor three centuries ago. I lived during the famous rule of the mighty King Thror, Durin's powerful heir who discovered the Lonely Mountain and established the golden city under its bowels. "

Eilin's face lit up. "You lived in Erebor at the same time that Thorin did?"

"Yes" –Othin's lips turned down sadly- "When he was born I was already a very promising young archer in King Thror's army."

"That is so amazing. I have never met anyone else who knew Thorin since birth apart from his family and close friends." Eilin's voice was elated.

Othin tilted his head and looked at their clasped hands. "When Prince Thrain's firstborn was presented in the Throne room to all his High-Lords and army officials, I was somewhere in the back jumping up and down trying to get a glimpse of that black-haired and blue-eyed plump baby in King Thror's arms."

"Ow…" Eilin's heart melted.

"They showered him with gems that day, did you know that?" Othin smiled sadly.

Eilin shook her head. "Unfortunately he doesn't talk much about his past."

Othin released her hand and raised his arms in the air. "They held him up and emptied a chest full of brilliant gems upon his head in order to bless his rule so it would be as prosperous to his people as those gems were."

Eilin's mouth formed a sweet smile. "How lovely…"

Othin shrugged. "So…I lived under King Thror's mighty rule protecting the borders of our lands with my blood for many years. I got paid well for my services, but during those times everyone had a life of plenty…you understand."

Eilin nodded. "Much like today."

Othin nodded. "Indeed. However things were not easy for me. You see the life of a soldier…a warrior…no matter how illustrious they are…is perilous. One can die at any moment in the line of duty."

Eilin's countenance plunged. "I know…by heavens…"

Othin tilted his head. "I served the honorable line of Durin for many years despite all the perils and even though at heart I was a seeker of peace I always fought courageously in order to protect them."

Eilin clasped his hand again. "I am sure you did."

Othin's face darkened. "No I didn't…In the end I didn't…."

Eilin frowned.

"Allow me to continue." He muttered.

"Of course." She nodded.

"We all witnessed Prince Thorin growing older and stronger with each passing day and soon his siblings came along to bless us with more strong heirs to this formidable throne that stood under the Arkenstone. Our city was thriving under King Thror's wise rulership and everyone hoped that our life of plenty would last till the end of time…but that was not what the darkness had in store for us."

Eilin clouded. "The attack of the dragon…"

"Even though I was one of the best upcoming archers in the King's army, it took me many years and many tears in order to be able to secure a position in his Royal Guards. That finally brought me much closer to the Royal family and immediately under the command of Prince Thorin." Othin continued.

Eilin's face brightened up with attentiveness once more.

"He was a brilliant commander from a young age, never doubt that my lady. His life was devoted to the army. He was loyal to a fault, dedicated and a hard-worker who was not afraid to get dirtier and bloodier than anyone else. However he was also a fierce leader who preferred to keep his men at a respectful distance, therefore I never got an opportunity to come close to him. He hardly knew my name and barely knew my face, which was justified. He had thousands of soldiers under his command and we mostly talked to the Captains of our respectful divisions. Nevertheless in battle I was always at the first rows alongside Lord Balin…..who got to know me rather well." Othin continued.

"Balin was your friend?" Eilin's brow wrinkled in confusion.

"We weren't the best friends, but we drunk together plenty and discussed our tastes in women from time to time." Othin's lips curled up in a side-smile.

Eilin humphed. "I cannot imagine Balin talking about anything else besides politics."

Othin smiled timidly. "He was younger once…we all were."

Eilin nodded. "Please continue. This is very interesting."

"The opulent times of our people though were not meant to last, my Lady as I told you before. I was there the day Erebor fell. I fought behind Prince Thorin who led the attack against that ferocious creature of doom. I saw our men falling under the beast's wrath and beheld our walls crumbling under its fire. I followed our people out the gates and into exile, my only possessions being the clothes I was wearing, the skills I owned and my bow….like everyone else. That day Kings and paupers became one…and they remained as such for many decades."

Eilin pressed her lips. "Those were terrible times."

"We were all forlorn my Lady and pushing hard to last one more day. As a soldier I had given an oath to follow my King to death, however I failed to do so. When King Thror led our people to the Dunlands I didn't follow. I diverged with several other Dwarves and we took our own paths away from the darkness that seemed to be slowly engulfing the Royal family." Othin spoke with a broken voice.

Eilin swallowed heavily. "Was that considered treason?"

"The beginning of my treason for I betrayed them even further." –Othin corrected- "At first I thought they wouldn't notice my absence. I was a mere soldier. One of the thirty five hundred that belonged to the Royal Guards. Nevertheless as Balin informed me later…my absence was noticed alright, noted as treason and I was in danger of being arrested and thrown in a dungeon if I dared to make an appearance in front of King Thror once again. So I avoided doing that at all costs. I lived as a Petty Dwarf taking up any kind of jobs around the villages of men and I managed to create a pretty good life amidst them….that was until I was required to return."

Eilin frowned. "Why?"

"The Battle of Azanulbizar." Othin looked down at her with eyes that hid in them a tempest.

Eilin paled. "You were there…"

"I returned…when I learned that King Thror called all the clans in order to reclaim the Dwarrowdelf I returned. My heart wouldn't allow me to stay away. I was not a traitor, my Lady. I was simply not strong enough to see our people suffer in this manner. I was not as resilient as my leaders."

Eilin pressed her lips. "I understand. Did they arrest you?"

"No….They gave me a new bow and allowed me to train with the rest of the soldiers. I was never accepted back in the Royal Guards and my old comrades looked at me with disdain in their eyes, but I didn't care. I wanted to defend my King…I was there to shed my blood for him once more." Othin's voice was diminished.

Eilin nodded softly and clasped his hand.

"The battle that ensued at the eastern gate of Moria was unlike anything else I have ever experienced up till then, including Smaug's attack at the Lonely Mountain. The ferocity with which our kin fought for our lands and the fierceness with which the Orcs retaliated was beyond my ability to describe. No words would ever be enough to explain to you the brutality, the ruthlessness and unspeakable violence that I witnessed from everybody, foes and friends alike. It was as if the gates of Hell had opened up to suck out every single thread of empathy from all of us…"

"The butchers of Azanulbizar…." Eilin's heart twitched in pain.

"Were the most vicious and merciless warriors of our kin. The ones whose extremely violent deeds were very hard to behold." Othin explained quietly.

She nodded feeling numb. "My husband."

"Was one of them…possibly the most ferocious of them all with the exception of Lord Dain whose father also perished in this battle." Othin tilted his head.

Eilin's eyes were glued on him. "Please don't stop. I want...I want to hear every-thing." She muttered feeling overwhelmed.

"I fought next to my brothers bravely and pushed my way through the Orcish defenses with the lead of Lord Balin until we reached the most brutal part of the battle which was taking place right in front of the gates. That is where we all saw him emerging from behind a cloud of fire and ash. Tall and pale like a ghost, brandishing a cleaver that was wider than my body." Othin murmured.

"The Pale Orc?" Eilin's eyes grew wide.

"He marched fearlessly through the war-zone, dismissively hacking down foes and friends alike…anyone who approached him died…no exceptions made…and this terrifying envoy of darkness had his eyes locked upon one target. King Thror was already weakened from a battle that had commenced at the break of dawn and was now witnessing the dusk approaching. He had his best soldiers around him. Prince Thorin, his brother Frerin, his son Thrain, Lord Dwalin and Lord Dain. The elite of King Thror's army was surrounding him, yet they were not enough to protect him from the wrath of that chilling ghoul. He marched through them as if they were nothing, slashed them left and right, send them flying in the air and dispersed their attacks again and again until he could finally engage the weakened King. I saw it all…I was so close….a breath away from getting in front of the Pale Orc and protecting my King…but I was engaged in battle too trying to fend off my enemies. When that spawn of Hell sliced the head clean off the King's shoulders a deadly silence fell across the battle-field. Everyone for a split moment stopped fighting, Orcs and Dwarves alike. The head of our beloved sovereign…the head of the heir of Durin was being flaunted around like the most despoiled relic…and the Orc was laughing. Laughing so hard he was in tears. He was laughing at our misery…at our destruction. We were leaderless…headless…alone…we were lost. I had one chance to jump in front of King Thror before his demise. One moment in time to have my name written down in history with golden letters of unmatched bravery and I failed. I hesitated during that precious moment and that was enough to feel the sword of my enemies piercing through my stomach and my lungs. I fell bloody and groaning in pain, but my eyes couldn't leave the pale face of King Thror hanging from the beast's hand with an expression of terror etched upon his lifeless features."

"Oh my heaven." Eilin whispered breathlessly.

"It was the infernal roar of Prince Thorin that made me look away from King Thror, in order to see him attacking the Pale Orc with unrivaled savagery. The battle that ensued between them kick-started the clash all around and I remember little after that as I was in and out of consciousness. However I did see the young Prince holding up against the mighty Orc way longer than any of his other foes and I am proud to say that I was still awake to witness the Prince’s legendary victory as he sliced the Orc's arm clean off his body. That was the same arm that had been holding King Thror's head victoriously a few moments ago and now it was laying bloody next to the Prince’s boot. That is when the haze of fear started clearing from our people's eyes …there was someone to take over the counter-attack, wasn’t there? He was standing there proudly, covered with black blood from head to toe and his wild eyes were sparkling with vengeance. Prince Thorin’s great victory was enough to rally everyone as he took over a new attack in the stead of his father, with unmatched violence. When my kin saw the Orc who killed and ridiculed our King being dragged away half-dead by the sword of one of Durin's sons, they took up heart and a unified thunderous battle-cry tore across the valley and echoed in the bloody corridors of the Dwarrowdelf one more time. Baruk Khazâd! Khazâd ai-mênu! For our kin…for our people….for our freedom!" Othin's eyes watered.

Eilin's did too and she pressed his hand.

"Prince Thorin and Lord Dain led the attack anew and they managed to push back the enemy lines so far they almost re-entered the Dwarrowdelf and this battle would have ended in a mighty, but also tragic victory hadn't it been for the fires of Durin's Bane that awoke near the gates and send our troops running for their lives. King Thrain called back our army because he didn't wish for any more casualties and that is how this monumental battle ended. With many loses from our side, but even more from the enemy. Yet…our King was dead….and I had failed to protect him…." Othin closed his eyes.

Eilin wiped away a few tears that had rolled down her cheek. "Don't blame yourself…."

"I failed to protect the King. I failed to come in between the Orc's clever and the King's neck…and the Prince saw that. Prince Thorin saw that I chose not to sacrifice myself."

"You were fighting ….you were unable to." Eilin frowned.

Othin shook his head. "The Prince saw and remembered back then….Now the King proved that he had never forgotten …that is why you are seeing him so cold towards me. He knows I abandoned our people during our time of need and he beheld my cowardliness in the Battle of Moria to my utter shame."

Eilin felt her heart pinching her painfully. "I am so sorry."

Othin smiled bitterly. "You see my Lady? The King knows me...he knows what I did to his family and he is out for revenge. I cannot blame him."

"That was so long ago." Eilin muttered.

"Dwarves never forget when you hurt them…or their family." Othin muttered.

The hairpin on Eilin's lips curled up. "Oh, I know everything about Dwarfish stubbornness don't worry. Still you didn't hurt King Thror."

"I was a traitor. I ran away when they needed me the most and when I returned I failed to protect him." Othin's smile was sad. He felt bitter at revealing part of a truth that didn't matter anymore instead of speaking for what mattered the most. He was not ready to do it…he couldn't face her…he just couldn't. Therefore he chose to speak of an obscure moment he shared with Thorin in the past in the hopes she'd be satisfied. In all honesty Othin doubted the King remembered him at the battle or that he held any animosity at Eilin’s father for failing to protect Thror, yet those moments weighed heavily on Othin’s conscience and his words were truly heart-felt.

Eilin exhaled silently and remained pensive for several moments. "I shall talk to him."

Othin's eyes grew wide. "No please my Lady."

"You wish me to keep what you told me a secret?" Eilin returned.

"No, my treason is common knowledge. I just don't want you to ask the King to change his ways towards me. That is something that must be settled between me and him. I have to earn my forgiveness. I have to convince him of my devotion and that I can be reliable from now on. When one loses their grace with their sovereign they have to earn it back, not ask for favors." Othin's voice was full of sincerity.

Eilin reached out and clutched his hand between hers. "You are not less obstinate than him. You saved the life of my son. You protected all my children. That in my eyes earns you more than a second chance. It earns you a place in our family." She said emotionally.

Othin couldn't withhold his tears. "My heart is grateful for your words your Majesty, but you mustn't talk on the King's behalf. My history with him is too heavy and too personal."

Eilin's face softened. "Let me handle my husband."

Othin's features twisted with uncertainty.

"Know that I thank you for revealing to me the truth." Eilin pressed his hand tightly.

 _Part of the truth…the less painful part…._ Othin closed his eyes. "It was my obligation." He muttered.

Eilin looked at his lap. "Now I am going to stay here until you finish that pie. You need to gain all your strength back."

Othin's mouth formed a bitter smile at how much Eilin resembled her mother in her facial expressions even though she lived with her only for a short while. Without even thinking of declining the Queen's offer, he picked up the pie and ate it slowly. When he finished he wiped his face and gave her a shy smile. "You are indeed a brilliant cook my Lady. Your family is lucky."

"We are all pretty good cooks. If I am not mistaken you've tasted my husband's porridge several times when you were hiding in Mirkwood." Eilin returned cleverly.

Othin was unable to stop his smile from becoming larger. "Y-es." He stammered.

Eilin gave a tentative look around them and then exhaled quietly. "I know that Dwalin will come and lead you to your home soon and I so wish to stay and accompany you there…."

Othin's face softened and his eyes looked at her almost with unbearable adoration, which she was not able to recognize. "My Lady, please there is no need."

"I just wish to take this last piece to my husband before I feel sorry for one of the sick people in here and give it to them. He has woken up since the break of dawn and I am sure he didn't get anything good to eat at lunch." Eilin said with a regretful smile.

Othin touched her hand and pushed her away gently. "Please go. I am thankful you visited me, you fed me and that you also lent me a friendly ear."

Eilin reciprocated his shy touch. "Know that you have a strong supporter in me and in my children, despite the King's animosity. We can turn his stubborn head around, worry not."

Othin's countenance fell. "Please….don't intervene. Allow us to solve this between us."

She stood up. "I know what I am doing. Now rest. I shall come visit your home tomorrow and see how well you have settled."

Othin closed his eyes in order to stop her from seeing his tears forming. "Tha-nk you." He muttered.

With one last warm smile she left the infirmary without feeling Othin's eyes burning her back with so many unspoken emotions. The moment she closed the heavy doors behind her, he buried himself under the covers in order to weep as quietly as possible even though his heart was thudding so loudly he thought it would eventually jump off his chest and rush after his daughter.

* * *

 

Thorin stared at the Shards of Narsil that were upheld upon a velvet pillow next to the fireplace. He exhaled loudly and turned his eyes at the blazing fire, which was making his skin sweat profusely. He was preparing once more for his cleansing…the one that he always felt by working on the anvil. The one that allowed him to destroy one dark thought after the other with each throw of his heavy hammer. His thick fingers wrapped around the handle of the aforementioned tool and twisted around it slowly. He came down here with the original intent to forge a sword….any sword just to unload all the fatigue of this very exhausting day. However just before he walked to his usual station, he took a detour through the treasury. There he lingered for a long time staring at Narsil emotionlessly before deciding to take it with him.

His body itched to be used in order to create art once more in this ancient and purgative manner. The last sword he gave so much attention to had been Thranduil's Black Blade. After that he worked on several weapons, but bonded with none. He tried to put his imagination at work in order to forge Thrarin a sword, since Durin was going to be given Orcrist…yet he was unable.

That old flare of the sword-master that hid in him was nowhere to be seen….nowhere until the moment his eyes fell on Narsil once more. The sword that the great-great-great grandfather of Eilin had created. The one that belonged to the Ranger, who was currently in his rooms quietly resting in the arms of his woman. Whenever his eyes fell on it a slow burning fire seemed to take over his heart and the need to create was becoming strong once more. It was time for him to work once more, however he didn't want the passage of those old ruins to a new mold to be so simple.

That is how Eilin found her husband. With his arm extended to his heavy hammer, dripping sweat down its handle and his back glistening under the reddish hue of the fire, which created shadows upon his prominent physique. She tiptoed close to him, partially surprised that he hadn't heard her approaching and saw his handsome profile. His eyes were staring blankly at a big clay mold. She gave a soft kiss on his sweaty shoulder and then licked the salty taste from her lips.

He looked at her side-ways and smiled. "Hello beautiful."

"Hi handsome." -She raised he brow- "Thought you hadn't noticed me."

"I can always feel you no matter if you are close by or far away." He spoke softly.

Eilin placed the pie next to his hammer and rested her hands on his shoulder. Then she came up in order to gift his lips with a soft kiss, which he reciprocated. "Missed you."

"Me too." He nodded quietly.

"Searched for you at your office, the Throne room and the meeting room. They told me you headed for the forges a while ago." Eilin looked at the fire and felt a sense of serenity spreading inside her.

"Needed to take a break." He looked at the fire too.

Her lips skimmed his warm skin and lingered there as she inhaled his soothing scent. "We barely returned from the Realm and you are killing yourself. I wish we could leave for Hobbiton tomorrow."

"In a couple of days we shall my love, be patient….besides I am killing myself so we can leave without me having to think about Erebor when I am away."

She closed her eyes. "I know, but you are still recovering."

"I will do so peacefully in your embrace when we leave. I cannot wait…really." His heavy arm wrapped behind her back and drew her in.

She cuddled in his embrace not caring how sweaty he was. "Whenever you feel overburdened you visit the anvil."

He smiled. "True."

She looked up at him. "You feel overburdened?"

"I sometimes visit it when I have an inspiration." He corrected.

She smiled. "You have one now?"

A soft nod was his answer.

Her eyes fell to the Narsil. "You will work on that?"

"Quite possibly. If my beautiful wife allows me that is." He said snidely.

"You were contemplating how to forge it and I destroyed your vision?" She smirked knowingly.

He tilted his head. "More or less."

She pulled away and tapped his shoulder. "I cooked you some pie. Don't be so grumpy."

Thorin's eyes fell on the single piece. "Where is the rest of it?"

Eilin pressed her lips regretfully. "You see I passed through the infirmary and there were so many sick and wounded people there. They wanted to shake my hand and talk to me…."

"And you gave a piece to each and every one…I know." He smiled eloquently.

She threw her arms around his back and propped her head on his bicep. "You know me."

"Only too well. I am actually surprised that you brought this piece over. How did you manage to hold on to it?" He teased.

"I knew you would be famished. You missed both lunch and dinner with us." She kissed his arm.

"And you brought me the leftovers. Cheers." He humphed.

She frowned. "Hey, I really baked it for you…"

He pressed his lips. "But fed everyone else with it. What will a single piece do for me? I need two whole pies to clench my hunger and you know it."

Eilin looked genially flustered as she nibbled her bottom lip. "I can go up and bake you a new one. I still have a lot of your hunt left for both a pie and a meat soup."

He reached up and caressed her lower lip with his finger. "Don't bite it, you will get it bloody." He whispered.

She smiled and kissed the ball of his fingertip. "Do you want me to make you some more?"

He shook his head and dipped down to kiss her mouth softly. "I am only teasing you." He murmured.

"I am not. If you want me I will do it." She said eagerly.

"I love you too…" His mouth formed a dazzling smile.

Her face lit up. "I know."

"Smart-ass." He whispered.

Eilin worried his lips with a slow kiss for several moments and then she pulled back with a pensive frown. "Thorin I want to pick your mind about something, but you have to promise not to get mad at me."

"This is not a good way to start a conversation when you want to keep me calm…" He chuckled.

"Be serious." –She said and brought the pie at his mouth- "Now open." She commanded.

He took a big bite and she wiped the side of his lips with the back of her hand. "You are so sloppy when you are hungry."

"I am sloppy because you are force feeding me." He mumbled with his mouth full.

She gave him the pie, grabbed his shoulders, turned him around and made him sit at the stone bench that was at the side of the fireplace. "Then eat alone. You are three hundred years old, I am sure you can do it."

He raised his brow and swallowed. "No I want you to do it and I want to be sloppy about it so you can clean me up." He made sure to sound childish enough to evoke the musical laughter out of her.

She knelt in front of him and caressed his long beard-braid, lingering on her wooden bead that was holding it in place. "Eat and I will relate my worries to you…."

He took another big bite and closed his eyes in delight. "Are you sure your words won't make me choke?"

She pursed her lips. "Don't be a windbag."

His laughter thrilled her heart. "Go on, speak….this pie is heavenly."

Eilin lost her smile and began worrying her bottom lip again. Her hands covered his knees and began stroking him firmly. "I talked with Urkar at the infirmary today."

Thorin felt the bite taking the wrong turn as he swallowed and began coughing uncontrollably.

She stood up and thumped his back. "Hey come on now."

He pushed her away and nodded. "I knew you'd make me choke. I just knew it."

Eilin sighed and sat between his knees again. Her hands came up to rest on his hips this time. "If that name meant nothing to you, then you wouldn't have reacted in this manner."

He raised his brow, unable to admit that she was very close to the truth with that. "What did you talk to him about?"

"I wanted to ask him a few things…" The side of her mouth curled up.

"And why do I have to know about this?" Thorin placed the remaining pie next to him, not in any real mood to eat anymore.

Eilin looked at it regretfully. "Did I ruin your appetite?"

"Indubitably." The taciturn answer.

She inhaled deeply and got prepared for the showdown. "Why are you so negatively tuned towards this man?"

Thorin shook his head. "I am not. I am simply indifferent."

"Too indifferent." Eilin raised her brow.

Thorin made to stand up, but her hands pulled him by the hips and sat him down again. "You are not going anywhere until we solve this."

"Are we going to discuss about how caring I am towards all my people, except from this man…AGAIN?" Thorin crossed his arms looking annoyed.

"Yes….my gorgeous King." She smirked and caressed his waist slowly.

"Don't suck up and don't attempt another go at this useless conversation. I told you that day at the High road I was not indifferent towards his plight, merely lost in my own thoughts. I didn't notice how tired he truly was." Thorin rejoined.

"So there is nothing triggering your obvious animosity?" Eilin returned.

"There is no animosity." Thorin glared at her.

"And I suppose now you are not vexed either." She smirked.

"You are making me angry… with your insistence." Came Thorin's hard rebuke.

Eilin inhaled deeply and looked at him decisively. "I know what's up between you."

"Oh, do you?" Thorin sneered and looked away.

Eilin pursed her lips. "I do, because he told me everything today."

Thorin looked at her abruptly and lost all the color on his face. "What?" He croaked.

Eilin tilted her head and closed her eyes. "I know everything…to the last iota. I know the exact reason why you are so mad at him."

Thorin was bereft of words. His arms uncrossed and he grabbed her biceps a little too tightly. “Eilin, wait…”

Eilin's brow creased in confusion, but she forced herself to smile. “What…”

"You know the whole truth and you can still smile?" Thorin muttered feeling utterly bewildered.

Eilin reached up and cupped his cheek. "Why shouldn't I, my heart?"

Thorin's brow clouded and his eyes thinned perceptively. "Wait a moment…." He murmured.

Eilin's smile widened.

Thorin pressed his lips. "Tell me exactly what he told you."

Eilin caressed his bearded jawline and settled again between his legs. "I need you to remain calm and promise you will not reprimand him for speaking the truth."

"I will seriously think about that one. Speak." Thorin's brow arched assertively.

Eilin pursed her lips and tried to be serious when all she wanted to do was hug him tightly and kiss his handsome face. "He described to me how he lived in Erebor under the rule of your family, how he served under your command, how he ran away with the rest of your kin from the wrath of the dragon, but that instead of following through the hardships you did, he decided to bail out. How he became a traitor and decided to live amongst men because if he ever returned to your Halls you would arrest him and through him in the dungeons."

Thorin's eyes remained contemplative upon hers. “Okay, go on.”

"He explained to me how embarrassed he was to return for the Battle of Azanulbizar and how ferocious that fight turned out to be. He also told me how you got to be named one of Butchers." Her countenance took a plunge.

Thorin averted his eyes. "You needn't have heard about that…"

She grasped his thighs firmly. "Yet I did! You never speak of those dark and terrifying moments, but master Urkar gave me an insight on your past."

"An insight that is practically useless and only overloads you with a knowledge that needs to be forgotten forever." Thorin's voice was coarse.

Eilin shook her head and dag her nails on his leather trousers. "No, I wanted to know and I am thankful he was truthful. He spoke to me about everything, but mostly about the peak of the battle when the Pale Orc made its appearance and conquered all. How that surprisingly strategic ghoul from hell engaged the already debilitated King and how easily he killed and beheaded him…." Eilin hesitated.

Thorin felt his eyes welling.

"….in front of you." She whispered.

He swallowed heavily and his hands released her biceps and fell empty on his knees.

"He declared with tears in his eyes how he failed to protect your grandfather and how he backed out when the moment came to sacrifice himself in the place of the King. He said that you witnessed all that and hated him." Eilin's teary eyes were looking at him adoringly.

Thorin rubbed his forehead. "And that is the reason I dislike him, I see." He muttered feeling overcome, but also vaguely grateful to Othin.

She nodded and cupped his hand. She kissed it fervently. "He described to me how you unleashed all your ferocity against the pale Orc, how you were the only one able to stay his hand and how you send him back to Moria in ruins before the ancient being from the depths of hell appeared and forced your father to retreat your men back to safety."

"I see." Thorin replied quietly.

Eilin hesitated and brought his hand to her cheek. She leaned upon it and closed her eyes. "I am sorry you had to see the demise of your grandfather…."

Thorin pursed his lips and looked at her long and hard before reaching up to caress her soft hair. "I have seen many battles during my lifetime Eilin, but Azanulbizar was hell on earth. It ended up being something I wouldn't wish even my most hated enemies to experience."

Eilin nodded. "I understand."

Thorin closed his eyes and tunneled his fingers through her soft locks. "I didn't see only my grandfather die that day you know. My beloved brother Frerin and my brother-in-law Kilkajad died there too. After that battle the state became virtually headless as my father never got over the death of his father. My nephews became orphans and my sister a widow. My mother's heart was broken when she learned my brother perished near the gates. She never came around that tragedy and died soon after from a broken heart. My family was torn apart that day. As for me…I saw both my father and my grandfather fall and I was not quick enough to help either. That day I lost faith in my strength and I realized how shattering a war can become. That accursed day the whole of my kin was cut in half. There wasn't a home that hadn't lost someone. A father, a brother, a son, a nephew. It took us many years to live down that combat."

Eilin's eyes were streaming with tears. "I am so sorry, my heart."

Thorin smiled gently. "Nevertheless we pulled through in the end. We recovered and we set out once more to build again upon our ruins despite all the difficulties. We worked tirelessly to build our cities again and make them prosper until we were finally ready and strong enough to reclaim and restore our Kingdoms of old. We were blessed to meet beautiful women, who eventually stole our hearts and we devoted our lives to them. We decided to lay down our bloody weapons for a little while and dedicate ourselves to our families, instead of fighting. Our women gifted us with many strong children that will continue our legacy and the darkness finally retreated from this small part of the world and from our hearts. Right?" He stroked her hair lightly.

She looked up at that and her sad countenance lit up. "Yes my love."

Thorin exhaled and pulled her on his lap were she settled readily. "Master Urkar shouldn't have saddened you with these dark memories."

"I asked him…." Eilin cuddled under his chin.

He wrapped his arm around her back and kissed her forehead. "So that was his explanation about my animosity for him?"

Eilin nodded. "Yes."

Thorin scowled and buried his nose in her curls. "He said nothing else on that?"

"No. Actually he excused your attitude all the time. He told me to allow you to solve your problems alone." Eilin whispered.

Thorin closed his eyes. "He is correct."

Eilin sighed deeply. "Please my love promise that you will try to treat him a bit more fairly for my sake. He saved our son and he is honestly remorseful for hurting your family all those years ago."

"Oh, he hurt my family indeed…." Thorin's voice was thick with emotion.

_Just not the way you think…_

"Please can we give him another chance? He is so polite, so dedicated to prove his loyalty and the children adore him." Eilin rejoined quietly.

"I need to see him sweating in order to prove his loyalty anew, not give him excuses." Thorin's voice was heavy.

"Thorin his heart is in the right place, I can feel it. You trust me, don't you?" Her beautiful eyes tore through his heavy barriers with enviable ease.

"With my life." He frowned and cupped her cheek.

"Then trust me with this. Give him another chance. I don't expect you to become his best buddy all of a sudden, just don't be so ….so mean….It is not who you are." She smiled and stroked his lower lip gently.

"You have no idea how mean I can be when it comes to my family being wronged." His voice became heavy.

"I know how brutal you can become when it concerns me and the children, but what happened with Urkar is history long gone. Allow him to prove his eagerness to right his wrongs, please." She pecked his cheek.

_What he did is not history long gone…He hurt the one who is hugging me right now…_

Thorin closed his eyes. "Does this mean that much to you?"

"Yes." She exhaled hotly on his jawline.

"I suppose the honesty with which his spoke." –The irony was not lost in him upon those words- "Might have earned him a small thread of kindness."

Eilin's face lit up. "Really?"

"Don't get encouraged." He warned.

She straightened her body and crossed her hands in front of her lap. "I won't, I promise!"

Thorin smiled. "You really know how to wrap me around your little finger, don't you?"

She butted his forehead with hers and her fingers stroked his temple. "You can easily do the same to me."

Thorin pinched her bottom and she yelped. "Fine, you got what you wanted. Now can I finish what remains of that darn pie and get back to work?"

She threw her arms around his shoulders and her lips ghosted his. "Not before I kiss you breathless for doing this big favor to me."

Thorin's mouth curled up in a gentle smile as she kissed him softly at first, before deciding to become more assertive and offer him a kiss that truly spread a wave of warmth in his heart and body.

As he was being thoroughly kissed by the most stunning woman in the Kingdom, Thorin Oakenshield was pondering on a way to settle Eilin's worries about Othin without him becoming too lenient towards that bloody Dwarf.

Slowly, to his aggravation he had to admit that his clever wife had actually managed to corner him rather hard and to his chagrin he had to acknowledge that Othin had been honorable enough to keep Eilin out of all this….

…and for that at least he was indeed grateful.

 


	36. A change of heart

 

Thorin stood close to the fire with his hand propped at the stone mantel piece long after his wife left. He couldn't feel any remorse for treating Othin so aggressively, because he was still raw from what Eilin went through because of him. When it concerned his wife, Thorin was operating one dimensionally and had no kind of diplomacy whatsoever. Those who hurt her became his worst enemy, those who treated her with respect and love were his friends. Little did Othin's reasons for abandoning his daughter matter to the King even though he understood that this dark story didn’t have any real villains.

The line between right and wrong was washed-out in his mind and sometimes he thoroughly ignored it. That day at the High Road he knew that he was treating Eilin's father unfairly and that if one day she found out, he would be in deep trouble. Still the need to avenge her suffering was too powerful to overlook.

She begged him not to lie to her anymore and he agreed. She begged him to tell her everything he felt and everything he thought, yet now only a few days later he was already breaking his solemn oath by keeping Othin's identity a secret. Could he reveal the truth to Eilin? Was that even proper? That wasn’t his decision to make and he couldn't intervene and reveal anything when Othin himself had chosen to remain incognito. Even though he wanted to keep his promise to Eilin, he couldn't come between father and daughter. That would be dishonorable.

His heart complained with a sudden wave of bitterness and his brow clouded as he stirred the molten metal in the heavy pot. Then leaned his sweaty forehead upon his forearm wondering how his life had become even more complicated than it already was. So lost in his contemplations he was that he didn't hear Aragorn's voice.

"My Lord, you called for me?"

Thorin's eyes remained glued upon the bubbles that were bursting lazily inside the hot pot.

Aragorn took a step closer. "King Thorin?"

No answer still.

Aragorn looked above his back, not knowing if it was wise for him to bother the daydreaming of the King or if he should leave. He decided to try one last time. "My King?"

Thorin blinked and a small crease appeared on his forehead. He turned slowly and a small smile formed upon his lips. "I have been expecting you."

"I didn't know if I should bother. You looked so drawn in by your thoughts." Aragorn countered the smile.

"I called you here, didn't I?" Thorin drew away from the fire, feeling the air around him unable to dry out the rivers of sweat that were coursing upon his skin.

Aragorn tilted his head. "I am all yours."

Thorin stood above the anvil where the huge mold stood, empty and cold. "I called you to join us in Erebor in order to offer you and Lady Arwen a few more carefree days before you return back to the Rangers."

Aragorn's face fell. "And I thank you for that."

"Yet that was not the only reason." Thorin frowned.

Aragorn looked up at that.

Thorin placed his foot on his stool and propped his elbows upon his bend thigh. Then his eyes penetrated the confused countenance of the Ranger. "I am not used to tread around a hot topic with care, therefore I am going to be honest with you.”

“I appreciate that.” Aragorn inclined his head.

“Lord Elrond informed me that you are wavering with doubt."

Aragorn flared his shoulders.

"Doubt…about your role in the things to come." Thorin raised his brow.

Aragorn gave him a soft nod. "Lord Elrond is not wrong."

"We have discussed about the difficulty of having to carry the weight of an immense heritage before, remember?" Thorin said quietly.

Aragorn nodded solemnly. "I never forgot our conversation."

"Yet there is still reservation kindling in your heart."

Aragorn obviously hesitated. "It is very hard for me to reconcile my lineage to the simple life I lived up to now. I told you before, I don't know how to think like a King, despite the fact that I stand next to them like an equal." He bend his head courteously.

Thorin reciprocated. "Yet it is who you are. One cannot erase the royal blood that runs in his veins…."

Aragorn rubbed his forehead. "I wasn't raised a King."

"You were raised a warrior and that is what a true King is at heart." The intensity of Thorin's deep voice held Aragorn anchored.

The Ranger pressed his lips. "I cannot take over a land and the fate of so many people without knowing how to do it, my Lord. That would be irresponsible."

Thorin shook his head gently. "You don't have to learn what your heart already knows how to do. The uncertainty you feel is not because you lack the knowledge, but because you have lost focus."

Aragorn closed his eyes and his clear brow filled with shadows of doubt. "I never lost focus. My mind is always thinking the great deeds of my legendary ancestors and that is what truly plants doubt in my heart. I cannot follow their footsteps. I don't know how."

Thorin scowled deeply. "It is one thing to carry the legacy of your forefathers and another to recreate it. No one is asking you to do such a thing. You must carve your own path in this world."

Aragorn looked up at that with eyes full of emotion. "My own path. That is even harder especially when I have raise up to some pretty mighty names."

"But worth the effort. Your forefathers don't wish you to continue their legacy, but rather to see you create your own kingship." Thorin's lips curled up in a soft smile.

Aragorn's eyes watered.

"You need to regain focus and I believe a blast from the past can do that for you." Thorin's scowl became more profound.

Aragorn crossed his arms. "I know everything about my ancestors…what else can you do in order to wake up the past?"

"A lost man walking in a dark tunnel only needs the faintest light to help him find his way out. When my family fell I didn't have an heirloom to help me regain focus. I only had my memories and a crown that awaited me inside this forlorn Kingdom. Yet you are different. You have a family treasure….one so important, that its name alone makes the fiends of hell quake before it." Thorin looked at the ruins of the old sword.

Aragorn turned his stare towards the cushion also and his brows twitched.

"You were too young when you last saw them. You might not remember much, but I am sure Elrond never stopped talking about them to you." Thorin said quietly.

Aragorn hesitated and took a few steps closer before his breath caught. "I haven't seen these in ages …"

Thorin's mouth twitched. "You recognize them?"

Aragorn's his eyes surged with unbidden tears. It took him several moments to be able to talk once more. "The Shards of Narsil."

Thorin smiled calmly. "This was an honorable weapon, forged in the First Age by the best sword-smith of my kin, the great Telchar of Tumunzahar."

Aragorn's extended fingers lingered above the ruins that were shining under the reddish hue of the blazing fire. A small drop of sweat formed above his expressive eyes. "Lord Elrond never told me why the sword disappeared or where they had taken it."

"I see." Thorin rejoined.

Aragorn turned sharply. "I was too young then to understand what this heirloom meant for me, but now I do. Why didn't the ruins of the sword of my ancestors remain where I grew up, close to me?"

"Because the Dwarven Lord who forged this sword is the Queen's ancestor. Maybe this sword belongs to your bloodline, but the Queen's bloodline forged it." Thorin raised his brow with austerity.

Aragorn paused at that and withdrew his hand respectfully. "In that case I should not stand above it like its legal owner, nor shall I dream of ever brandishing it."

Thorin pursed his lips. "Care to stir the liquid iron for me?"

Aragorn frowned and with one last regretful look towards Narsil he took the long tongs and went to the fireplace wordlessly.

Thorin picked up the broken pieces of the sword one by one without taking the handle-shard. He knew that Aragorn was observing all his movements quietly as Thorin walked back to his anvil and placed them inside the heavy stone mold in an order that made perfect sense to his experienced eyes. "How does it feel standing next to this legendary sword?"

Aragorn unglued his eyes from Thorin and turned towards the pot. "Too painful to bear, knowing that I cannot touch it." His voice was choked.

Thorin gave another critical look at the mold and then walked over to take the handle. He opened up his old satchel that had various intricate tools and chose the one he wanted. Then he began loosening the worn out leather that was around the handle carefully without destroying it. So focused he was at his work that he didn't see Aragorn abandoning the fire and looming above his shoulder in order to observe him at work. It was the voice of his son Thrárin that made him look up after a long time.

"Daddy?"

Thorin's face lit up. "What are you doing here my red-headed warrior?"

Thrárin ran and climbed on Thorin's lap without caring how sweaty his father was. "I left Durin and Rhianaye at the library. They were boring."

Thorin smirked. "Durin studying the runes of the Elders?"

"And Rhianaye yelling at him." -Thrárin nodded, while his eyes were looking towards the leather strap that Thorin had managed to loosen enough in order to slip it off the handle carefully- "What are you doing daddy?"

"Preparing to mold a very important sword." Thorin rejoined casually.

Aragorn looked at him abruptly with eyes that held in them unbelievable tension.

"Can I help?!" Thrárin clapped his hands.

Thorin kissed Thrárin's cool cheek and rubbed his nose on his temple. "We have to ask the sword's owner my love."

Aragorn felt his heart stopping.

Thorin turned to him slowly. "Can my son help?"

Aragorn's lips parted but he was devoid of speech.

"You are the sword's owner so you decide if the prince can help out with it or not." Thorin face was deadpan.

Aragorn took a step back. "You said that it belonged to Telchar."

Thorin raised his hand. "I told you it belonged to both your family and mine, but mine gifted it to yours once upon many centuries. Therefore I shall do the same now."

Aragorn remained silently bemused, but strong emotions were depicted upon his broken features.

"Shall we repeat the question?" He looked down at his son.

Thrárin beamed up to the Ranger. "Can I forthe the sword with my daddy, Sir?"

Aragorn's eyes were burning with fresh tears. "It will be…an honor….for me." His voice was diminished.

Thorin nodded towards the melting pot. "Stir the molten iron. I want the temperature to be even when you pour it in the mold."

Thrárin giggled and clapped his hands. "I will learn how to forthe!"

"Forge…" -Thorin kissed Thrárin’s nose and then grabbed the handle-shard with a long pincer while lifting up the heavy hammer with the other- "Will you help me break it apart?"

"Yeah!" Thrárin shouted enthusiastically and stepped on Thorin's thighs. He grabbed a fist-full of Thorin's hair to steady himself and tried to clutch his father's huge hand, which was practically impossible.

Thorin chuckled and threw the first hammer throw with Thrarin's assistance. "From the moment I saw my firstborn son, I longed to have him learn my trade."

Aragorn looked up from the fire with eyes that were watery and red.

Thorin didn't even see him, yet he continued musingly. "However it was early on when he decided to be totally disinterested in the art of forging. So when Thrárin came along I had already given up hope that I would be able to pass my knowledge down to one of my children."

Aragorn smiled sadly.

"However the young prince showed an unprecedented enthusiasm whenever he saw me working upon the anvil. He tried to lift his first hammer when he was a little more than one years old. I made him a wooden one so he could work alongside me at his toys. Remember?" Thorin smiled at his son.

Thrárin scowled with determination and pushed his father's hand up with a groan. "Another throw dad, it is not broken yet."

Thorin did so and that throw was mighty enough to detach the handle from the large shard that cut off Sauron’s ring-bearing finger. "I knew right there and then that we had a sword-smith in the making and after that day he always escaped his siblings and his mother in order to come down and see me forge. Much like he did today. Right?" He nudged Thrárin's cheek with his nose.

"Yeah daddy. Can I put these in the pot?" Thrárin jumped off his lap and pointed at the pieces that Thorin broke with his mighty hammer.

"Arrange them carefully between the spaces." Thorin pointed out.

Thrárin picked them up with religious care and then began placing them inside. "Okay…" He mumbled with his huge blue eyes deeply concentrated on the important task his father gave him.

"Will you work on the sword now?" Aragorn's voice was heavy with unspoken emotions.

"No. Today you shall help us make a mold of the new sword from the ruins of the old, but the forging will take place over time. I will do it slowly with the help of my boy and one day when you will be ready to wield it, Thrárin will present it to you with his mother’s blessings." -Thorin said proudly and gave a gentle caress at Thrárin's long red locks before steadying the remains of the handle and throwing the hammer on it again. Then he turned to his boy. "Do you know the importance of this sword son?"

Thrárin grinned. "Is it famous, is it huge, is it brilliant?"

"It is all of those and even more. Now be careful…don't crowd the pieces." He leaned above Thrárin and helped him out.

The boy nodded and followed his father's instructions.

"Thank you so much for allowing me to partake in this." Aragorn said quietly.

"This sword needed to feel your energy as it is reborn on the anvil and you needed to remember a big part of your history and regain focus. You were not born a simple man and neither shall you live as one. We shall see great things from you in the future." Thorin looked at him above his shoulder.

Aragorn nodded with a knowing smile. "I will try to live up to your expectations."

"How much do you know about this trade?"

"I have been observing our sword-smiths back in Rivendell. I don't know much, but I know enough to understand that you are using an ancient method for re-forging a broken sword." Aragorn replied.

"I don't believe much in the modern ways to do things. While putting the broken pieces together and fixing the sword as it originally was is an acceptable way to smith nowadays, I don't believe in mending broken things. I like to take the pieces of ruined history and create something new out of them. Your reborn sword may not resemble Narsil anymore, but it will be similar to you my friend. It will be something new that the world has never seen before in action, but it will carry in it the heritage of the old wars it had partaken in….much like you." Thorin's mouth curled up in a soft smile.

Aragorn wiped away a tear that trickled down his nose and looked away.

Thorin's smile was eloquent. "Come bring over the molten iron."

Aragorn squared his shoulders and frowned with renewed determination. He wore the heavy gloves and picked it up.

"Can I help you mister?" Thrárin was jumping all around him.

"You can hold my forearm while I pour it in." Aragorn smirked.

Thrárin's eyes twinkled with pride. "Thank you!" He said and clutched Aragorn's elbow tightly.

"Show me where to go." Aragorn winked at the Prince playfully.

Thrárin's eyes became seriously concentrated at the task as he led Aragorn or so he thought he did.

Thorin's heart filled with warmth and he crossed his arms as he observed his son taking this duty so seriously. When the mold was full with the liquid metal, Aragorn placed the heavy pot aside and turned to look at it mesmerized. "The new sword…"

Thorin lifted the mold with unprotected hands and banged it against the anvil a couple of times to get rid of any bubbles.

"Which also needs a new name!” Thrárin shouted.

“When the time comes I am sure the sound of the hammer throws upon it will sing to me that name." Thorin murmured with a musing smile.

"Maybe we can call it Ik-kund, daddy." Thrárin grinned.

"The wolf?" Thorin raised his brow.

"Because you are making it!" Thrárin clapped his hands.

Thorin caressed his nose with the tip of his soot-filled finger, leaving a long trace. "We need something less personal than that, because this sword will belong to another King."

"How about Mahtar?" Aragorn whispered.

"Swordsman?" Thorin frowned.

"Yes…" Aragorn was looking breathlessly at the iron becoming dark and hard inside the mold.

"That is a name that carries a lot of power in it. I shall see when the time comes." Thorin returned with a soft smile. Then he grabbed Thrárin by the waist and engulfed him in his huge embrace.

Thrárin giggled and kicked in order to be released. "Let me go! Let me go!"

Thorin pushed Thrárin's head away with his nose and buried his mouth at his soft neck. Something that drove the Prince wild with laughter. "Have I ever told you how much I love you?"

Thrárin took a handful of Thorin's curls and tried to pluck them out. "I am ticklish! Stop it! Hahaha!"

Thorin let him go with a last firm kiss on his chin and then looked at Aragorn who was observing the mold. "Any uncertainties now young man? How do you feel?"

Aragorn closed his eyes and two teardrops run down cheeks. "Awestricken, wordless and captivated by the history that now lays trapped inside this new sword, but above all eager to brandish it for a just cause." He whispered overcome.

Thorin smiled. "When you feel lost, remember what you helped me do here today and allow your heart to lead you. Not all wars are fought sword-at-hand. Many are fought in here." –Thorin placed his hand above Aragorn's heart- "And those battles are the most important ones." He smiled.

Aragorn clasped Thorin's hand passionately and brought it to his lips. "Thank you for everything."

Thorin pulled it away and pressed the Ranger's shoulder. "Keep your heart as pure as it is now and the future that you will offer to your people will be bright. I can feel it." He whispered.

It was Thrárin's voice that broke the spell between the two Kings. "When can we start forging this daddy?" He was jumping tirelessly around Thorin's anvil.

Thorin pursed his lips. "It is not time yet."

Thrárin's face fell. "When then?"

Thorin turned to the Ranger. "This man will let us know." He smiled knowingly.

Aragorn closed his eyes and smiled. “Will I know myself?”

It took several moments for Thorin to speak again. "You will, for that I am certain. If there is one thing I learned through all my hardships is that every single fight we ever had or we will ever have is worth to be fought just for our children. If not for anything else, then giving them a future is the best reason to shed your blood and sacrifice your life for. You may not have your own kids yet, but you must stand tall and act on behalf of the children of your people, for they are also yours and they deserve to live in a world that is devoid of darkness. They deserve a world that will be ruled by an honorable King who will always have their best interests at heart." The emotion in his voice was obvious as he hugged Thrárin tightly.

Aragorn lowered his head and closed his eyes, wordlessly. A soft nod of understanding was the only thing he could have added to those final profound words of the King.

* * *

 

Rhianaye looked around her with eyes full of wonder. "Why are we here mom?"

Eilin clasped her hand tightly and looked around the room that held the Queen's personal treasures, jewelry and expensive gems. Even before they married Thorin had begun gifting her with rather expensive jewelry, but after their marriage and the birth of the twins he went full out on his gifting spree and gave the masons orders to build a room within the vaults which would belong to the Queen and hold behind it's golden gilded doors all of her luxurious ornaments. "I haven't brought you here many times my darling."

Rhianaye released her mom's hand and walked over to a large circular platform in the middle of the room which was full of cushions holding bracelets, tiaras, necklaces, rings and arm-bands of the most exquisite gold and from the most brilliant gems Erebor owned. "These are all yours, aren't they?" Rhianaye seemed truly enchanted.

Eilin sat at the edge of the platform. "Yes, indeed they are." She murmured.

Rhianaye chose a rather impressive golden ring that has a bright sapphire stone upon it and tried it on her finger. "Why aren't you wearing any of them?"

Eilin's thin fingers caressed the dove pendant that was around her neck which was now always escorted by Thorin's Royal Ring. "Even though these love tokens speak straight to my heart, they are not who I truly am, my love."

"Dad gave you all these gifts?" Rhianaye picked up one of the tiaras and placed it crookedly on her head.

Eilin tried to straighten it. "Yes."

"So don't you like them?" Rhianaye scowled.

"I said they are not who I truly am here." -She touched her heart- "Not that I don't love your father for what he's been doing for me all these years or that I don't like them."

"Doesn't he get hurt when he doesn't see you wearing them?" Rhianaye wrapped a beautiful thin bracelet around her wrist.

"He knows me. I don't think he truly minds." Eilin fixed it for her.

"Then why doesn't he stop giving such gifts to you?" Rhianaye frowned.

"Because he is a Dwarf-Lord and that is how they express their love." Eilin blushed.

Rhianaye stopped in front of her mom and pursed her lips. "Mom, are you avoiding all these things, because you lived in that tavern when you were a baby?"

Eilin felt her eyes burning and caressed her daughter's arms. She has spoken without any fears or regrets about her past to her children. She revealed the poverty and the humiliation she experienced in the hands of lesser men and women until Dis and Thorin came her way and changed her life forever. The only thing she kept from her kids was her rape and that was something that she didn't ever intend to reveal to them. Such a knowledge would stain the fond memories of their childhood with a darkness that Eilin wished to keep away from them. "I didn't grow up used to this kind of luxury. I appreciate it more than I can say, but still I feel uncomfortable dressing this way."

"Even though you are the Queen of the North?" Rhianaye asked.

"You need to understand something important my love. Your true value comes from the heart and your most important treasure is what you have inside your mind. Everything else matters little. I lived a very rough life and so did your father when his people were in exile. We were both very poor for several years of our lives."

Rhianaye nodded. “I know.”

Eilin smiled. "He and I grew up so differently, yet during our lives we suffered such similar fates. He was born and raised a Prince of the Crown, like you and your siblings, yet he suffered like I did. I was born a slave. I was the one who was serving the lowest of the low. I slept in a dark room which was full of flies, cockroaches and mosquitos and sometimes at the barn amidst the animal droppings. My friends were rodents and my entertainment included feeding ants to the spiders."

Rhianaye scrounged her nose. "Yack!"

Eilin tucked a long lock behind her daughter's ear. "That is the place I grew up in though and that is what made me who I am today…the woman whom unbelievably stole the heart of your father." She felt her stomach bubbling up at that thought.

"Daddy didn't care that you were his maiden!" Rhianaye grinned.

Eilin smiled softly. "Your dad is an exceptional man, but I believe we also had lady luck on our side."

Rhianaye frowned. "Why?"

"If I was born a Princess do you think your father would have met me?" Eilin raised her brow.

"Maybe!" Rhianaye raised her finger.

"Okay true. Would he had loved me, since I wouldn't be the same woman I am right now? He always says it was my heart that stole his. Do you think my heart would have been the same had I grown up in such a prosperous place?" She pointed elegantly at the room.

Rhianaye's face fell. "No…" She took off her tiara disheartened.

Eilin smiled sweetly. "That is one of the reasons I am not wearing all this jewelry you see around you. That is why I don't want to bring you here all the time. I don't want you to grow up feeling entitled. I never want you to forget that your mother once upon a time slept upon a dirty floor inside a cold room with no windows or that your father slept in the woods in the midst of his people, cold and hungry. We went through hell…both of us…to get here. I slaved for many masters who treated me cruelly and your father fought countless wars and shed his blood countless times in order to reclaim this mountain and its riches for his people and for you."

"I know mommy." Rhianaye's lip pouted.

"If by some ill twist of fate someone took everything away from us, right now...be sure my love that we would survive and that we would do the best we could to provide everything for you and your siblings. Above all though remember that we would succeed. You know why that is possible?"

Rhianaye shook her head.

"Because your father is an amazing sword-smith who can sell his trade for money and I…." –Eilin smiled- "I can work anywhere! I can work in homes, in the fields, in hotels, cooking, ploughing the land, hunting, cleaning, farming …I am not afraid of any kind of work and you can be sure I'd do it to offer you and your siblings a proper home."

Rhianaye smiled brightly and embraced her mom. "I would help too!"

"I know honey. Everybody would help and we'd be happy. You know why?" Eilin kissed her cheek and wiped a stray tear that escaped her eye.

"Because we love each other?" Rhianaye pulled back and looked at her.

Eilin smiled proudly. "Yes and love conquers every difficulty!"

Rhianaye clapped her hands. "I know mommy! Can you teach me a trade? Anything that I can do to help my family in case of need?"

Eilin looked at the lavish possessions around them and felt her heart elating. "Your father thinks it is very important for you to learn the Runes of the Elders and the basics of war training, as well as riding and the proper etiquette that goes along with your titles as a Princess. I agree, yet I think you'd benefit a lot from learning to work the lands in order to grow your own produce. What do you think of that?"

Rhianaye's eyes grew wide. "Can we start now?!"

"Of course darling. This set of skills will help you survive without the safety of all this extravaganza around you." Eilin's brow clouded.

"I will promise dad that I won't abandon my academics. I can do both!" Rhianaye nibbled her forefinger thoughtfully.

Eilin's mouth formed a faded smile. "Of course you can. All of you kids must learn how to work with your hands, not only with your minds. Like Thrárin who wants to learn how to forge and Durin who is…who is…" Eilin frowned taken slightly aback when she realized that her oldest son wasn't interested at all in any kind of practical trade.

"He loves learning how to make arrows and bows with Master Urkar." Rhianaye said eagerly.

Eilin's face lit up. "Oh, he'd make a marvelous wood carver then…"

Rhianaye clapped and then stopped and her face filled with curiosity. "And an academic, because dad is very strict on that."

"And a warrior. That was predetermined for all you kids ever since you were in my belly." Eilin pinched her nose.

Rhianaye's countenance took a plunge at that. "A warrior? Even me?"

Eilin grinned. "Of course."

Rhianaye lips curled down. "Mom…" She muttered.

Eilin heard the defeat in her voice. "Don't tell me you have doubts because you are a girl. Haven't you seen how good Lis is becoming?"

Rhianaye's eyes welled. "Well Lis is not unhealthy!"

Eilin's brow creased in confusion. "What are these words my love?!"

Rhianaye pointed at her legs. "Look at them! They are so weak I cannot sit on a horse long enough to learn how to ride properly mom. I will never become a warrior."

Eilin cupped her cheeks and scowled. "What kind of nonsense is this?"

Rhianaye pulled her head away and pointed again at her legs. "I always had a difficulty walking. I know mom….I know I am different from my siblings."

Eilin's eyes settled angrily. "Yes you are different from them. You are our precious Little Gem. Did you know that when you were born and you were so cold it was your father who wore you most of the time skin to skin in order to warm you up? He didn't allow either auntie Dis or me to do it. That is how much he loved you…how much he still loves you. I love you so much that my heart aches when you think so low of yourself. Neither your father nor I ever cared that you had a mild inconvenience walking. Your mind is truly exceptional! See how easy it is for you to learn the Elder Runes and how hard it is for Durin who is supposedly so strong and adept physically. You have such superior intelligence that all your teachers are bereft of speech. You have no idea how proud we are of you."

"Really mom?" A smile ghosted Rhianaye's lips.

Eilin caressed her jawline with her thump musingly. "Listen to me young lady. You have inherited your father's remarkable beauty, his second to none perceptiveness and dare I say my patience and kindness of heart. You need nothing more in order to succeed in life. You can become anything you wish! A warrior, an academic, a counselor to the rulership of your twin, the best cook of Erebor, the most adept farmer in all the lands, the best rider, the most amazing archer….anything! In my eyes though you will always be the most beautiful Princess in all the Seven Kingdoms and the bravest little girl anyone had ever seen. You are my Little Gem…my precious little girl." Eilin's eyes gushed with tears.

Rhianaye hugged her tightly. "Don't cry mom…I am not sad, just frustrated sometimes."

Eilin kissed her cheek and closed her eyes. "I know my love."

"I sometimes feel that I might not be pretty enough…to earn so many gifts from a boy someday." Rhianaye pointed around her dejected.

"What did I say about your being the prettiest and the cleverest Princess in all the lands?" Eilin scowled with austerity.

Rhianaye cupped her mouth and giggled. "Okay mom."

"Now tell me. Do you have your eyes set upon a boy?" Eilin cleared her face and smiled.

"No way! If I'd ever marry anyone that'd be my dad." Rhianaye said seriously.

Eilin had to choke a snort that climbed up her throat. "Of course, how could I have missed that one?"

"He is married to you though, so I can't…therefore I won't ever marry." Rhianaye continued with the same seriousness.

Eilin pursed her lips. "Never say never."

Rhianaye's shoulders slouched. "Mom?"

Eilin caressed her girl's hair. "Yes, baby."

"Do you think someday a very handsome boy will fall in love with me and give me so many precious gifts?" Rhianaye's countenance was full of sadness.

Eilin frowned. "But of course. Is there any doubt?"

Rhianaye shrugged.

"Any boy who will be lucky enough to grab your attention, he'd be a fool not to gift you the world in order to keep you by his side."

Rhianaye beamed and her beauty blinded Eilin who felt her heart swelling. "I like that."

Eilin's brow creased and she cupped her daughter's cheeks tenderly. "However remember…the boy who will be worth to stand by your side will be the one who will make your heart fill with love, not your hands fill with jewelry. He will respect you, listen to you, be mindful and gentle. He will find ways to show you his love every single moment and even during your darkest moments…he will never make you question how much he loves you. Instead of expecting him to give you a room full of jewelry just ask him to give you his heart…forever."

"Did dad do all that?" Rhianaye smiled.

"All that and even more." A loving smile appeared on her lips.

Rhianaye nodded. "Okay mommy."

"People are not perfect my love. We are all flawed. We sometimes hurt the ones we love….but what matters is your heart being in the right place." Eilin added.

"I will try not to hurt anyone." Rhianaye scowled.

"You will fail…so I'd advise you practice how to heal your loved ones afterwards and never repeat your mistakes more than…twice." Eilin smiled knowingly.

Rhianaye caressed her mom's very long hair. "Mommy?"

Eilin scrounged her nose. "Yeeees?"

"Can we keep this jewelry even though you are not wearing it?" Rhianaye said in a sing song manner.

"Do you see them going anywhere? Your father would kill me if I ever did anything to his gifts." Eilin smiled.

"Can I come here from time to time and try them on?" Rhianaye said bashfully.

Eilin picked up the tiara and placed it on her daughter's head. "I'd love for you to do that. I want you to learn how to live without all these things, but I also want you to enjoy them. Did you know I wore this tiara on my wedding day?"

Rhianaye's eyes glimmered. "You did?!"

Eilin nodded.

Rhianaye grinned enthusiastically. "Thanks for bringing me down here mom."

Eilin sighed and picked up a delicate necklace from one of the pillows that had a simple yet elegant white-gold design around a flower that had diamonds for petals. She stroked it thoughtfully.

"What is this?" Rhianaye's eyes twinkled.

"I will offer it as a gift to a very pretty Elf." Eilin said quietly and her eyes were full of love as they looked at the graceful pendant.

"Isn't dad going to be mad if you give his gift to someone else?" Rhianaye frowned.

"Dad asked me to do it." Eilin's face softened.

"Whom will you give it to?" Rhianaye nibbled her bottom lip.

"A woman who has a wish that feels so familiar to my heart." Eilin whispered.

"What's her wish mom?"

"To be with the man she loves, despite all the controversies…." -Eilin looked at her daughter for a few brief moments tensely and then her face opened up with a bright smile- "I want to give this lucky pendant to Lady Arwen so she can be blessed with many children from the man she loves."

Rhianaye fidgeted nervously. "Is this pendant lucky then?"

"I believe it is, for I wore it when we captured Thrarin…but it is not luckier than this." Eilin pointed at the dove pendant.

Rhianaye beamed.

"This is the luckiest pendant of them all!" Eilin pinched her cheek.

"Can I have it then!?" Rhianaye grinned.

"You can have it only after I die. This pendant will never leave me before that." Eilin rejoined solemnly.

Rhianaye hugged her tightly. "Then I will never have it, because I will never let you die!"

Eilin sighed and kissed her daughter's soft neck. "Don't worry my love….I will never die."

Rhianaye closed her eyes and her smile was radiant.

* * *

 

"Dad why is this door broken?" Thrárin asked.

Thorin pressed his lips and glared at Dwalin side-ways.

"Dad?" Thrárin pulled his hand.

"The kid is asking you a question." Dwalin crossed his arms.

"I heard him." Thorin rejoined heavily.

"You are not answering him though." Dwalin pressed.

Thorin huffed angrily and gritted his teeth.

"Is Urkar inside?" Thrárin made to knock on the door.

Thorin pulled him back. "Don't!" He thundered.

"Well, is he inside? Did we just come here to admire his ruined door?" Dwalin chimed in sounding truly annoyed.

Thorin lowered his chin and stared intensely at his best friend. "You know I haven't had a good training session for a long time. I am itching to kick someone ass….hard."

"I am on." Dwalin squared his shoulders.

So did Thorin.

Thrárin slipped out of his hand and knocked on the door. "Master Urkar?" He shouted.

Thorin swept him up in his arms. "Why did you knock for heaven's sake?"

"We came all the way down here, why not?" Thrárin frowned.

"Boy is right." Dwalin raised his brow.

Thorin's face settled in anger. "That's it. When we are done here meet me at the barracks."

Dwalin gritted his teeth. "With pleasure, for you need a good whooping… I swear to Mahal this time you have gone too far. You have truly pissed me off with this obstinate attitude of yours…Look at this place! It is the most dilapidated building in the whole of Erebor and in the lowest level. The poor fellow will be inhaling harmful fumes coming from the mine-shafts from dusk till dawn."

"You haven't been able to give me a whooping ever since we were children!" Thorin came up to his face threateningly.

"Never too late to start again, is there?!" Dwalin spat and placed his hands on his waist.

"You can always try, but the retaliation is going to be harsh! Be careful not to fail." Thorin hissed.

"I won't fail." Dwalin revealed his teeth.

Thorin's nose almost touched Dwalin's. "You've got some fucking nerve…"

Thrárin who didn't seem intimidated at all by this argument pulled Thorin's beard braid. "Daddy no swearing!"

"Listen to the boy…" Dwalin spat.

"You are really pissing me off." Thorin rebuked heavily.

"Good! Someone's got to do the dirty job …" Dwalin's eyes thinned and the hostility was rippling out of him in waves.

"And that'd be you?" Thorin spat.

"Don't you think I am enough?" Dwalin's nose flared.

"Not even close…" Thorin hissed malevolently.

A low adrenaline-filled roar began emanating from Dwalin's chest and Thorin felt all the muscles of his body tensing, when suddenly the door opened and the tension between the two friends got grounded hard.

Othin looked bewildered at the two huge Dwarves in front of him, who gazed back at him truly lost. Thrárin kicked his dad and jumped down. Then he threw his short arms around Othin's waist. "Hello master Urkar!" He yelped.

Othin drew his eyes away from the furious face of the King and knelt in front of the boy. "My young Prince." –He smiled and caressed his red curly hair- "What are you doing down here?"

Thrárin pointed back at Thorin. "Dad wanted to visit."

Othin patted Thrárin's cheek and stood up. "My King, it is an honor…." He bowed his head.

Dwalin crossed his arms not without giving Thorin's wide back several pointy looks just for good measure.

The King cleared his throat and looked at the door, which was hanging from its hinges. Then he observed the ceiling that had several support beams broken. "I wished to see if you have settled in." He said with an empty voice.

Othin bowed again. "I am most grateful for everything that you have done for me. I have settled in very well."

Thorin felt Dwalin preparing to say something and send him such an unfriendly look that his bodyguard froze in place with a look of disdain in his eyes.

Thorin felt his mouth drying and didn't know what it was the made him more uncomfortable. That his son was present to see the ruins Thorin offered Othin as a home? The conversation he had with his wife? The anger of Dwalin that was almost palpable or the faded sense of guilt which he didn't feel like he deserved?

He entered the rooms and the moment his heavy boot stepped on the termite-eaten floor-boards the ceiling released a cloud of debris that fell in the middle of the empty kitchen. Thorin looked at the cold fireplace that had several broken stone slabs. There was a small table with one leg shorter than the rest tilting dangerously to one side. A chair that didn't seem able to hold anyone's weight, maybe apart from Thrárin's. A small banker bed that was stripped of any blankets or sheets with a mattress that looked absolutely horrifying. Thorin thought he even saw urine spots on it. There was vermin dashing out from the holes on the walls. Othin's bow was resting upon the crooked table and his satchel was at the foot of the disgusting bed. Thorin's lips turned down when he saw the state of the kitchen which was abhorring. No one would be able to live here properly. Not unless they put in a real effort to fix the place themselves. That was Thorin's original plan for Eilin's father, yet now that he was here he was unable to feel satisfied with his own cruelty.

"Ew…your place is dirty." Thrárin scrounged his nose.

"I will fix it son, don't worry. I have slept in worse places than this. I am grateful the King has given me the opportunity to be in Erebor….no matter the state of my abode." Othin seemed honest enough.

Thorin crossed his arms behind his back, squared his shoulders and followed his son who went to investigate the bed. "My wife informed me that you had an extensive talk with her the other day."

Othin paled and avoided the King's stare. "Yes Sir."

"About the Battle of Azanulbizar…." Thorin continued indifferently.

Dead silence came from the older Dwarf.

Thorin lips twisted crossly. "What possessed you to speak with such details about those days?"

"The truth Sir." Othin didn't waver.

Thorin turned around and raised his brow.

"A part of the truth that was the least harmful under the circumstances." Othin added carefully.

Thorin's eyes pierced him for several intense moments. "Harmful for whom? Sometimes I wonder…" He drawled.

Othin gritted his teeth and counted inwards to calm himself down.

Thorin inhaled deeply and closed his eyes. "You spoke with great detail about the battle. Was all that recalled from memory?"

Othin nodded quietly. "Yes."

"You spoke about your treason and about your failure to protect the King." Thorin's voice was harsh.

Dwalin tensed.

Othin nodded and felt his eyes burning. "Yes, Sir."

"Was that evoked from your heart or from your imagination?" Thorin continued emotionlessly.

"From my heart!" Othin's voice burst forth with a fervor that made Dwalin frown and Thrárin turn around surprised.

The only one who didn't react was the King who took several tense moments to speak again. "You fought in the front lines, close to my grandfather?" Thorin's voice had lost its assertiveness somehow.

Dwalin frowned at that.

Othin spoke with a hushed, defeated whisper. "A few feet away from him. I saw everything and….I was not strong enough to save him."

Thorin's forearm muscles flexed visibly. "I don't remember you."

A deadly silence fell in the room which no one wanted to break. Othin raised his head slowly and looked at the proud stature of the King through teary eyes.

It took seemingly endless moments for Thorin to turn around and pierce Othin with his fiery gaze. "I cannot remember you." He repeated with a frown.

Othin shook his head not knowing what to say.

Thorin walked over to him slowly. "I know who you are. Balin spoke about your life in Erebor and about your character. He told me you belonged to my guards, that you fled when we were in exile, but you returned for the battle. I know all that" –Thorin's brows creased- "Yet, I don't remember you at all during those moments."

Othin looked at his hand with a quiet nod. "I understand Sir."

"You told my wife that I remembered everything…and that is the reason for my animosity." The King looked at Thrárin fleetingly to make sure he wasn't disturbed by their conversation. The boy was checking Othin's satchel carelessly.

"It was the least hurtful reason to give to her Sir." Othin's tone was diminished.

Thorin straightened and pressed his lips. "I don't remember your face and I would have never been able to recall your name. Hadn't you fallen into my path because of my wife I would have been oblivious to your treason. I wouldn't have thrown you in prison for something I cannot remember."

Othin nodded. "I know Sir."

"So you lied…" Thorin's scowl deepened.

"I lied about you remembering me. I lied about you having negative feelings towards me for failing to protect the King " –Othin gave a guarded look at Thrárin and continued carefully- "But I didn't lie about everything else."

"What else is there left?" Thorin's brow clouded.

"I was honest about my feelings Sir. I was sincere when I told the Queen I felt awful for betraying your family and for failing to protect the King." Othin's voice broke and so did his countenance.

Thorin felt his chest suffocating and he took a deep breath in order to clear his head. "You saw King Thrór fall?"

Othin wiped the hot tears from his cheek. "I witnessed it all and I swear on my life, there hadn't been a single day I haven't lived to regret not dying in the stead of the King." He said and knelt in front of Thorin.

Thorin lingered in silence for several moments. "You would have died in vain then…."

Othin's breath hitched. "Never in vain…my death wouldn't have been in vain had I sacrificed it for my King."

"Azog would have destroyed you quickly before turning for my grandfather once more. You would have died in vain…" There was a bitter undertone in Thorin's voice.

Othin felt more tears springing from his eyes, but he remained silent.

"Had you done such a folly I would have ended up losing not only my grandfather, my brother and my brother-in law in that battle, but also my future father-in-law." Thorin rejoined emphatically.

Dwalin looked up sharply.

Othin felt his heart halting. "Sir?" He stumbled.

"I am using the term loosely…." Thorin pursed his lips with contempt.

Othin squeezed his eyes tight. "Y-es Sir."

Thorin nodded pensively and then looked around the room. "Did you get a notification to present yourself at the barracks tomorrow at dawn?"

Othin bowed. "Yes, Sir."

He walked towards the door and then looked above his shoulder. "Thrárin we are leaving."

"Yes daddy!" -The boy abandoned Othin's satchel and ran up to him- "See you tomorrow?" He asked happily.

"If your father and mother are okay with that, of course." Othin smiled kindly to the prince.

"Daddy!?" Thrárin looked at him with his wide expressive eyes.

Thorin turned around stonily. "We shall see, now come on." He said and raised his hand.

Thrárin's lips pouted and grasped his father's fingers tightly. He gave a sad regretful look at Othin who reciprocated with a wink.

Thorin paused at the crumbling entrance of the building for several moments. "Relocate master Urkar to the first floor residential area." He said coldly.

Dwalin's lips parted. "What?" He scowled.

Thorin gave him an empty stare that was enough to freeze anyone's blood. "You heard me."

Dwalin's face was full of confusion. "First level residential cavern is full I am afraid."

Thorin raised his brow. "Are there any abodes free in the High Cavern?"

Dwalin's smile was guarded. "There is one, next to Bjarki's home."

Thorin lingered for several moments. "Give him that."

Othin frowned at his hands. "I don't need another home my Lord. This is more than enough. I know how to fix it. You don't have to do this…."

Thorin sighed deeply. "The reasons you presented to the Queen about our troubled relationship" –he visibly stumbled at those words- "They are appreciated."

Othin's mouth formed a faded smile and more tears run down his cheeks. "It was my obligation to protect that secret Sir. What happened was and will remain between us." He muttered.

"And what happened at the gates of Moria, is history…long forgotten....as is your treason." Thorin added dryly.

"Th-ank you." Othin muttered. His voice was barely heard as his hand clutched the middle of his chest tightly in order to calm down the wild beating of his heart.

Thorin remained impassive by the door for what felt like an eternity before he spoke once more. "Know that all these lies overburden me."

Othin's face blanched and he reached out for the King. "I know Sir but please don't speak. Give me time…" He stumbled with a broken voice. His eyes revealed the terror he felt inside even at that prospect.

"This is a very tough request." Thorin returned.

Othin's eyes were eating him up. "Please…"

"I won't intervene." Thorin rejoined flatly.

"Thank you…." Othin murmured as he wept quietly.

Thorin walked out of the rooms, leaving behind him Eilin's father with a heart that was full of gratitude for the King's words and Dwalin who had a half-hidden smile under his thick beard and a twinkle of happiness glistening in his usually hard eyes.

 


	37. The Shire

**Three fortnights later...**

It was a simple white feather that broke the camel's back so to say, for it landed on Durin's nose making him sneeze and wake up rather abruptly. Rhianaye looked up from her work, which was to stuff all the feather she had taken from Uncle Bilbo's storage room in the new pillow she was trying to make for Thrárin. Durin didn't take a liking at the way his sister found to wake him up even if it was truly unwilling and he made sure to let her know immediately by grabbing his pillow and smashing it right on her face.

That made her fall off the bed with a loud thumb and all the feathers to explode up in the air and fill the whole room. Thrárin started jumping up and down as he tried to grab every feather he could. Rhianaye looked up pissed off, took one of the other pillows and send it off flying on Durin's face. That started up a rather vicious pillow fight that ended up with all of the children running on top of their beds and their couch, overturning their chairs and table and throwing down every single thing on their dresser including two lamps which broke and littered the floor with glass.

When the door flew open Lis rushed to see what all this havoc was about, but Rhianaye pushed her out of the way and run down the hallway, while Durin was yelling bloody murder behind her and Thrárin was following as best as he could while he giggled his little belly off.

Rhianaye made a U-turn at the door of her parents which was closed and then slid under Durin's open legs very skillfully before he had the chance to get her. "Run shorty!" She grabbed her little brother's hand who followed clumsily and pushed Dwalin out of the way as he was carrying his tea, making him spill some of it on his tunic.

"You spawns of hell! How about saying good morning for once like proper children!?" The huge bodyguard yelled.

"Stop her!" Durin grumbled.

"Stop her yourself." Dwalin muttered as he wiped his shirt annoyed.

Rhianaye entered the kitchens and bumped into Dis' chair making her push her water glass which spilled all over Bilbo's best linen. "Stop it you little sprites! What's gotten into you?! Slow down!" Dis admonished.

Rhianaye burrowed between Loa and the kitchen sink and drew Thrárin behind her who pushed the plate that Loa was washing with his hand and it landed at the floor. "Look what you made me do you little vandals!" Loa yelled.

Durin stepped on the table, kicked the water glass and send it crashing at the wall, a mere inch away from Loa's head. "Stop her Lis!" He commanded.

Lis tried to grab Rhianaye's waist, but slipped on the water at the floor and landed with a loud thumb. "My hip!" She spat.

Rhianaye hurried to the living room were Balin was drinking his tea quietly while Master Bilbo was working on his maps. She jumped on the empty armchair and then stepped above Balin making him spill all the hot tea upon his lap.

Balin released a howl of pain. "For the sake of heaven!"

Rhianaye made a quick turn and pointed the door to Thrárin. "Go that way shorty and stop him!"

Thrárin heard her and the moment Durin rushed in like a tempest he tripped him and made him land upon the armchair which he bumped upon Bilbo's stool. Master Baggins yelled, lost his balance and landed on the floor. Rhianaye passed above him and grabbed his desk to steady herself, but she wasn't careful enough and she caused the bottle of ink to tip over and spill down to the floor and on top of Bilbo's hair. "They are at it again! They are destroying my house! Someone stop them now!" He cried in frustration as he tried to get up. Something he failed to do as Durin pushed him down again the moment he passed.

On the way back Rhianaye and Thrárin slipped out of Dwalin's hands and made a beeline for the room of her parents. When she reached the door she threw it open and climbed on top of the bed above her father. "Help me dad! He is going to kill me!"

Thrárin climbed after her and began jumping up and down happily. "Rhianaye made a mess of Uncle Bilbo's home, she made a meeeeesssss!"

"I will kill you alright!" Durin climbed on the bed and pointed at her menacingly. "You woke me up!"

"I didn't mean to! I was making a pillow! How could I have known that feather would land on your big nose?!" Rhianaye spat.

"My nose is not big!" Durin thundered.

"Yes it is!" Rhianaye poked.

"No it isn't!" Durin rebuked.

"Yes it is!" Rhianaye insisted.

"No it isn't, yes it is, no it isn't!" Thrárin chimed in and jumped around his father's head.

Thorin squeezed his eyes tight and cursed under his breath. That was the only awakening that could send him reeling down the world of madness. He grabbed the pillow and covered his head with it, while trying to ignore the chaos around him.

"Thrárin isn't Durin's nose huge!?" Rhianaye screeched.

"I will grow into it and then I will kick your ass!" Durin snarled.

Thrárin picked up his mother's pillow and threw it on Durin's head. "Durin Longnose, Durin Longnose…." He teased happily.

"Shut up you little booger!" Durin gritted his teeth and grabbed his dad's pillow, pulling it roughly out of his hands. Then he smacked it so forcefully on Thrárin the poor kid flew in the air and landed on the floor with a loud thumb. That is where the twins froze for a moment, before the inevitable shriek of pain from Thrárin kicked Thorin's patience out of the window.

He sat up angrily. "That's enough! Next one who speaks without me addressing them gets a thrashing!"

The twins looked at each other and then at Thrárin who was weeping and cradling the back of his head in his hands.

"Where is your mother?!" Thorin thundered.

The twins put their pillows down, flustered and panting. "Mom went to get us some fish for lunch."

"Why in the name of Mahal do you always have to wake me up in this manner?! I am supposed to be getting my strength back, but hell no…Mahal's Halls will probably crumble to dust if you two ever decide to allow me to sleep peacefully and wake up on my own accord. I don't know what's keeping me from lining you three up against the wall and thrashing you till you are unable to sit down….honestly this is a torture worse than death…" Thorin mumbled furiously and got out of bed feeling his body heavy and his head already forming the traces of a headache.

"Sorry dad, but he was trying to kill me!" Rhianaye pointed at her twin.

"I wasn't going to kill you…. much." Durin spat vehemently.

"You young man are supposed to be under your sister's orders! You are still under probation!" Thorin warned and knelt down to take Thrárin in his arms.

Durin rolled his eyes and sat at the bed with his arms crossed. "That is unfair! The month is over dad!"

"Be careful I don't renew it!" Thorin spat and glared at his oldest. Then he traced Thrárin's head to see the point of impact.

Durin cowered away. "She woke me up roughly and you know how much I hate to be woken up that way."

"Me too, but none of you seems to care." –Thorin murmured under his breath and then looked at the back of Thrárin's head where a large bump begun forming- "Does it hurt?"

Thrárin sniffled. "Yeah daddy."

"You two are supposed to take care of your little brother, not beat the shit out of him! What is this nonsense now? Throwing him on the floor so roughly?!" Thorin thundered.

The twins cowered away from his anger.

Thorin was positively fuming when he picked Thrárin up and got out of the rooms with the intention of going to the kitchen for some ice, but instead he met with the ruins that his untamed kids had created before.

He passed by Dwalin who glowered at him and pointed at his stained tunic. "This was done by the heirs of hell that you spawned!" He spat.

Thorin's brow creased and he entered the kitchens where Loa and Dis were trying to pick up the broken china and dry the floor.

"What happened in here?" He frowned.

"You were asleep that is what happened!" Dis snapped angrily.

"The twins had an argument that ended up in a mess." Loa said more quietly with a cringe of regret.

"This is nothing! You should see what they did to my living room!" Bilbo made his appearance.

Thorin raised his brows at Bilbo's disheveled image and at the huge black ink stain on top of his curly hair. "For Mahal's sake…" -He murmured under his breath - "Get me some ice for Thrárin's head."

"Did they get him too?" Dis thinned her eyes.

Thorin tilted his head. "Yes..."

"He was worth it. Little devil was running after them like his butt was on fire. Look what they did to poor master Bilbo's expensive porcelain!" Dis chastised.

"I knew that having you in my house would end up in a total disaster. I have tried having you all together in the same place before and I always end up suffering. Why do I keep saying yes when you ask to vacate here, tell me why?!" -Bilbo bypassed Thorin and grabbed the broom angrily- "Those rascals are the embodiment of what I hate most in Dwarves. Mouthy, loud, obnoxious, crude, untamed and downright inconsiderate!"

"We may be many things my dear Bilbo, but never inconsiderate." Thorin smiled and then pressed the ice gently on Thrárin's head who was whining.

"Wanna see what happened to the carpet of my living room? It is full of black ink! That thing will never come out." Bilbo fumed.

"Bilbo is right. Those tearaways came in like a hurricane. Nobody but you or their mother could have stopped them. They need to learn some manners for heaven's sake." Balin shook his head sadly and stood under the archway with his hands on his belt proudly.

Thorin looked at Balin's wet crotch and raised his brow. "Frerin, Dis and I were worse than them and we learned manners in the end, didn't we?"

Balin followed Thorin's eyes and then exploded. "Don't excuse them and don't look at me like that! Durin spilled all the hot tea there when he jumped over my armchair! I'd be lucky if my loins are still able to produce any children after being burned like that."

"Isn't it too late in the game for you to think about impregnating a woman you haven't even found yet?" Dwalin snorted.

Balin pointed at him menacingly. "Shut your pie-hole you bald gnome!"

"See? You people are all over the place really. I cannot comprehend how you managed to reclaim the Lonely Mountain…it is truly beyond me." Bilbo muttered and started wiping the floor sullenly.

"We had your help my beloved burglar." Thorin rejoined with a smile.

"Don't try to coax your way out of this King Thorin." Bilbo pointed at him angrily.

Durin and Rhianaye made their embarrassed appearance behind their father and Dis pointed at them. "Don't hide you two. Come out here and apologize for the mess you made."

Rhianaye came out first and pulled Durin by the hand. "I am sorry auntie for spilling your water."

"She is not the only one in need of an apology." Thorin raised his brow and then turned his attention to Thrárin's wound.

Rhianaye looked at Loa and jerked Durin by the arm. "I am sorry Loa for breaking your plate and Lord Dwalin for spilling your tea. I am sorry master Bilbo for pushing your stool and making you land on the floor along with all your ink."

"I am sorry Lord Balin for burning your lap, I am sorry Lis for hurting your butt and I am sorry little brother for throwing you on the floor." Durin looked around bashfully.

"It's okay Durin." Thrárin sniffled.

"Your apology won't clean my carpet!" Bilbo glared.

"Master Baggins right." -Thorin exhaled and embraced Thrárin- "One of you two shall help Loa and Dis with the kitchen and the other shall assist Bilbo clean the carpet."

"Now?!" Rhianaye's eyes grew wide.

"Now." Thorin's answer came flat.

"But dad you promised that today you were going to teach me how to free gallop…." Rhianaye's eyes filled with tears.

"You made a mess of things and you have to make amends now." Thorin seemed indifferent to her plight.

Rhianaye leaned over to Durin. "Cleaning the carpet will take all day. I will never ride a horse if I do it."

"I know." Durin frowned.

Rhianaye wiped away a stray tear straightened her shoulders and faced her father. "Fine. I will help Master Bilbo clean the carpet and Durin will help auntie Dis with the kitchen."

Durin pulled her by the hand and she yelped. "She meant to say that I will clean the carpet and she will help with the kitchens."

"What are you doing?" She murmured in a hushed tone.

"Don't you want to learn free gallop today?" Durin glared at her.

Rhianaye's lips pouted and she nodded quietly. "Yes."

"Then shut up and do what I say." Durin's mouth curled up in a sly smile.

Rhianaye's face lit up. "I love you…"

"I don't." He returned and then faced his father square in the eyes.

"So is your decision made?" Thorin asked.

"I will help with the carpet." Durin nodded.

"And I will help with the kitchen, but can we go horseback riding when I finish dad, please?" She begged.

Thorin raised his brow. "Neither of you asked an apology for giving me such a rude wake up …." He let that thought linger until the twins broke into a run and embraced his waist from both sides.

"We are sorry dad!" They said in unison.

Thorin's face softened when he felt their warm embrace and his heart absolutely melted when Thrárin planted a wet kiss on his cheek and mumbled. "Sorry daddy!"

"Fine…finish with the kitchen and then we will train in riding." He exhaled feeling blissfully dazed from the abundant presentation of their love.

"That is how they manage to bring him around. Who'd think that someone as authoritarian as Oakenshield would turn out to be such a sucker for his kids?" Bilbo said sternly.

Balin tilted his head thoughtfully. "Don't judge so harshly master Baggins. Even the most battle-hardened warrior is allowed to have a heart of jelly for his children. That can be said twice for a man who lived with the taxing thought that he was unable to have children for many-many years and ended up having three all at once."

Bilbo's countenance was unable to remain austere at that moment and his mouth formed a gentle side-smile. "You are right on that. Besides Thorin's heart was always kind of soft wasn't it?"

Balin chuckled and nodded. "Indeed it was…but he hates when people notice."

"I didn't notice anything, did you?" Bilbo smiled knowingly.

"No." Balin smiled and they gave each other a nod of understanding while Thorin was taking in all the love that his children were giving him like a withering flower was eager to take in a refreshing rainfall.

* * *

 

"You left Durin deal with the carpet alone?" Thorin smirked.

Bilbo crossed his arms and nodded. "Of course. I wasn't going to toil over a dirty carpet all day, while I can come here, enjoy the sun and your company. Do you mind?"

"No, you did well. A little bit of humiliation and a good day of laboring will straighten the boy out. He will go out like a candle at night. One less worry for me." Thorin returned calmly.

Bilbo smirked. "That was a rough punishment, but a well-deserved one."

"Do we truly overburden you my dear Bilbo?" -Thorin's mouth form a side smile as he cracked his long whip at the hind legs of the horse that Rhianaye was riding and then addressed his daughter- "Keep your back straight and your elbows down girl! Concentrate!"

Rhianaye nodded. "Yes dad!"

"Aside from the fact that I not only enjoy your company, but I seek it constantly and you know it, the fact that you have to travel with such a large court really pisses me off. I mean your men have overtaken the whole village! Look around you!" Bilbo pointed at Thorin's soldier's that were sauntering amidst the villagers.

Thorin chuckled. "No one from my Kingdom will ever allow me to travel alone with my family and neither will I. It is one thing to venture alone in the wilderness once in a while, but my wife and kids must be escorted by a battalion of my Royal Guards always. I am not risking them to travel without escort while the darkness is spreading behind Ered Lithui."

"You do well, but this is a battalion? It feels like you brought Erebor's whole army with you." Bilbo placed his thumbs on his suspenders and admired the young princess whose horse was trotting in a large circle around her father.

"Not even close, but I can see how my men's crudeness can become overwhelming to the village. I will cool them down, worry not." Thorin looked at a couple soldiers who were teasing a very pretty Hobbit rather intensely.

Bilbo pressed his lips and sighed. "Thank you."

Thorin nodded and called at Rhianaye. "Change riding and after a couple of circles come to me."

Rhianaye turned the horse the other way and nodded. "Yes, dad."

"Every time you and your family are in my house I am certain there will be trouble, yet I can never say no." Bilbo continued with a quiet smile.

Thorin pressed his lips. "I know…and I feel guilty."

"Don't. You people have always been so ever since the first time I met you. Remember?" Bilbo's smile was reminiscent.

Thorin gazed at him side-ways and smirked. "I've never forgotten."

"I knew it since the first moment I opened the door and saw your nephews…there was going to be trouble." Bilbo returned.

"Trouble you followed willingly." Thorin rejoined.

"Trouble I came to appreciate, to respect and in the end love dearly." Bilbo looked at him with a smile that presented the honesty of his words.

"I love you too my friend. I hope I proved that to you multiple times already, but above all when I trusted the well-being of Eilin in your hands when she was pregnant ten years ago." Thorin's voice was hushed.

Bilbo smiled musingly. "It was the ultimate honor to help you back then and I will do so willingly every time you need me. No matter how many carpets your children destroy."

Thorin's heavy hand fell on Bilbo's shoulder and squeezed it tight. "Whenever I wish to offer my family some peace of mind and to me the company of a dear friend whom I have missed a lot, you are always my first thought."

Bilbo patted his hand and then pressed it firmly. "I missed you too, even though I hate how loud and obnoxious you people are."

Thorin chuckled. "Yet this was the reason you joined us on that adventure ten years ago. You wish to appear tame and quiet, but there is a fire burning inside you. A fire only a great adventure can clench."

Bilbo's lips twisted. "I guess you are right….so you've got any good adventures in mind?"

Thorin's brow arched. "You missed my latest calamities at Dol Guldur…too bad."

Bilbo scowled feeling rather disturbed. "Heard it was a close call."

"No, my dear Bilbo. My men always use that –close call card- whenever I feel under the weather. I am not even allowed to pass out for a couple of days or be feverish without Erebor getting into a state of terror and start preparing for my funeral." Thorin chuckled.

"Laugh as much as you want, but your people care deeply about you." Bilbo wised.

"That's one way to look at it. The other is that they are in a hurry to get rid of me." Thorin smirked.

"Of course. That is why no one allows you to go anywhere without an escort of hundreds of highly trained soldiers…" Bilbo teased.

Thorin pressed his lips with a quiet side-smile.

"How do you feel?" Bilbo touched his forearm and the care was distinct in his voice.

Thorin patted his hand. "I am much better even though I really need some time off to calm down from everything that happened. "

Bilbo smiled. "You know there will always be a home waiting for you here, but try not bringing half of Erebor with you next time."

Thorin chuckled. "Hard command my friend."

"I know." Bilbo hooked his thumbs on his suspenders and flared his shoulders.

Thorin smiled brightly at Rhianaye who approached them. He grasped the reigns of the horse when she stopped. "Concentrate little lady." He admonished with austerity.

"I am concentrated dad!" She rebuked.

"No you aren't. Back there you kept looking at those cows in the meadow." Thorin noticed.

"I just looked at them for a couple of moments." Rhianaye whined.

"When you are controlling a one thousand pound animal you are not allowed to daydream. I need to you to concentrate on your body posture. Eyes straight, elbows down, reins a little tighter. Okay?" Thorin continued with that calm and calculated tone that always soothed Rhianaye down.

"Okay." She nodded eagerly.

"You are doing very well. Do a couple of laps more with a quick trot and then we will try a controlled gallop." Thorin resumed.

"Why controlled dad?" Rhianaye's lips pouted.

"You want to go free?" Thorin raised his brow.

Rhianaye clapped. "Yes!"

"We will do a couple of controlled rounds so I can see your posture and then I will decide." Thorin pressed his lips.

Rhianaye rolled her eyes. "Fine dad…." She sounded dejected.

Thorin teased the horse's hind legs with his whip and it walked away from them. Then he looked at the sad countenance of his friend. "Call me annoying, but I will say it again…"

"I look sad….right?" Bilbo finished his thought.

"I told you the first night we arrived and shared good ale by the fireplace. There is an unidentified shadow lingering in your eyes. A shadow I haven't seen before." Thorin frowned and looked calmly towards his daughter who had set her horse in a fast.

"I really am not sad." Bilbo said musingly.

"You are not the happy go lucky Hobbit I know either. It is your prerogative to keep your worries to yourself, but know that I am here for you." Thorin's sincere tone touched Bilbo's heart.

He crossed his arms and observed the young Princess making a large circle around them. "There is something bothering me, but I have never spoken about this to anyone."

Thorin turned to him.

Bilbo gazed back at him. "And I don't want you to speak about it to anyone either."

Thorin nodded quietly. "Of course not."

Another long pause from master Baggins, which made Thorin rather nervous. "Let's talk hypothetically, shall we?"

Thorin turned his attention to his daughter. "Fine. Let's."

"What would you have done if you had found abandoned in a dark cave… a ring?" Bilbo mused.

Thorin raised both brows. "Hypothetically speaking…"

"Always…" Bilbo intervened flatly.

Thorin pursed his lips. "You are asking a Dwarf what he'd do with a piece of jewelry…."

Bilbo sighed. "You'd pick it up, right?"

"Certainly pick it up and most assuredly check its value." Thorin rejoined.

"Would you take it for your own?" Bilbo scrounged his lips.

This time the pause was long from Thorin's side. "I've lived enough years in this earth to know not to claim rings I know nothing about." His voice had gained a heavy quality all of a sudden.

Bilbo nodded. "I thought you'd say that."

Another smaller pause. "The fact that we are discussing about this in the first place, means that this piece of jewelry –if it exists- is worrisome enough to overburden you."

Bilbo's lips turned down, but he remained silent.

"That means that it is not a simple piece of jewelry my friend." Thorin crossed his arms and turned his attention to the field.

Bilbo cleared his throat. "It might not be no."

"We are not talking hypothetically here, are we?" Thorin gazed at him.

Another uneasy cough. "No."

"Have you stolen a ring that you don't know who it belongs to?" Thorin insisted.

Bilbo flared his shoulders. "I might have."

"When? Recently?"

"Ten years ago during our quest for Erebor." Bilbo said flatly.

Thorin's mouth dropped open. "Where did you find it?"

"In the Misty Mountains, somewhere underground when I got lost." He omitted to say the ring made him invisible when he wore it.

Thorin sighed. "That was too long ago I suppose. Its legal owner would have claimed it back by now. So why is it bothering your conscience so much?"

Bilbo placed his hand on his right pocket and fingered the ring, debating if it was wise to show it to Thorin. He lingered in limbo for several moments, before withdrawing his hand empty. "Whenever I carry it, it wears me down. I feel like it is spreading me apart in some manner. It is a very peculiar feeling, which makes me rather worried."

"Then don't wear it." Thorin returned casually.

"That's the problem….I …" Bilbo was at a loss for words.

Thorin observed him carefully for several moments, before his face began clouding. "Listen Bilbo. There are many harmless jewels in this world and most of them cannot compel you to wear them or make you feel peculiar when you do so. However…"

Bilbo drew up all his courage and looked at his friend.

"There are some rings in Middle Earth that can control your very soul and make you do things you don't wish to do. Rings that can take over your heart and mind slowly, until they consume them completely. Each of those rings was made by the same entity and none of them is above suspicion. Not even the three Elven Rings that are sufficiently subdued by the power of their masters. The Rings that were given to my kin destroyed each and every holder. The one my grandfather owned, caused him to become sick with a craving for gold that was way beyond anything my people are able to possess naturally. It drew him down a long path to destruction until he collapsed under its immense weight. When my father wore it, it drove him mad and send him on a search that was going to cost him his freedom and finally his life. I am lucky that Ring never came to my hands. Maybe that is the reason I am still alive." Thorin's voice became deep and send a wave of dread up Bilbo's spine.

"I understand." He muttered.

Thorin's hand landed on his shoulder. "If you've found a Ring that seems more than mere jewelry I'd suggest you find someone you trust and show it to him."

Bilbo's eyes held shadows the King couldn't understand. "Someone I trust." He murmured.

Thorin exhaled and closed his eyes. "I don't care if it isn't me. Show it to that Grey meddling Wizard. He knows more about these things than all of us combined."

Bilbo swallowed heavily and kept his eyes on Rhianaye.

Thorin's hand pressed him firmly. "If you've found by mistake one of the Rings of Power then don't expect it to do any good things for you and don't be naïve or arrogant to believe that you have enough strength to control it. Those bloody things destroyed my family."

Bilbo paled. "Hypothetically speaking, remember?"

"You just told me this wasn't hypothetical." Thorin scowled.

Bilbo got ready to reply when from the corner of their eyes they saw Eilin waving at them. His face lit up for he saw this as a chance to stop a conversation that was too close for comfort right now. "Wave back at her!"

Thorin opened his mouth to reply, but Bilbo elbowed him hard on the ribs.

"If you don't wave she's going to know that something is wrong and you don't want to worry your wife with trifles, do you?" Bilbo insisted.

Thorin exhaled roughly through his nose feeling bothered to the core. "Get rid of it." He spat.

Bilbo frowned. "Get rid of what?"

"The Ring you've found." Thorin retorted hard and then smiled at his wife who send him a kiss before concentrating on her daughter.

Bilbo's countenance plunged, but the King didn't notice as Rhianaye led her horse to him. When he caught the reigns he smiled at her. "Ready for some controlled gallop?"

"Mom is here too." Rhianaye looked worried towards Eilin.

"She wants to admire her pretty daughter." Thorin gave a fleeting glance to his wife and then secured the long rope at the horse's bridle.

Rhianaye closed her eyes and drew a deep inhalation.

Thorin frowned. "If you feel afraid we can do this another day. The rider must always be ready to take the next step further. If you are not feeling good now we can delay this."

"I want to do it dad." Rhianaye released the reins and grabbed the saddle.

"No, let go of it and take over the reins. You will use your legs to hold onto the horse." Thorin said calmly.

Rhianaye tried to control the dread from showing upon her face, before her father saw it and made her unmount. "Okay dad."

Thorin led his whip to lick the horse's behind and slowly brought it to a trot and then to a gallop. "Your bottom must sweep the saddle….sweep it…sweep it…." He said in rhythm with the horse's pace.

Rhianaye was unable to stop the smile that formed on her lips.

"How do you feel?" Thorin's eyes were piercing on her.

"Perfect dad!" The enthusiasm was clear in her voice.

"Balance?" Thorin's brow creased slightly.

"I feel perfect!" Rhianaye repeated impatiently.

Thorin swallowed nervously and led the horse around a couple of times more before stopping it and taking hold of the bridle. He untied the rope and let it drop near his boots. Then he stared at his beautiful daughter long and hard. "Are you ready then?"

Rhianaye's eyes grew wide in wonder. "Free gallop?" She murmured.

Thorin's nod seemed determined, but his heart was not convinced at all. "Yes."

"I am ready dad!" Rhianaye shouted.

Thorin gritted his teeth and held the bridle tightly as he slapped the hind of the horse making it take a closed circle around him before releasing it with another slap. "Use your whip and your legs together!" He commanded.

Rhianaye did so and the horse came to a trot.

"More!" Thorin pushed Bilbo out of the way and followed her impatiently.

Rhianaye did so and the horse came into a fast trot.

"Use your whip and your inner leg! Push the outer leg back!" Thorin yelled.

Rhianaye did so and the horse went into a brief gallop before coming down to a trot again.

Thorin's nose flared. "More! Don't slack on it!" He yelled.

When the horse went into a full gallop the King's heart dropped into the abyss for a few terrifying moments, before jumpstarting almost violently and he instantly felt his eyes burning and his stomach bubbling with the preludes of mad laughter. "More! Keep the reins loose, bottom sweeping the saddle, elbows in, look straight! That's it!" He cheered her on.

Rhianaye released a cry of pleasure as her horse galloped freely through the calm meadow and turned to see her father.

"Face straight!" He admonished and she heard him.

Bilbo clapped. "Oh look at the little lady!"

Thorin suddenly felt the burn in his eyes becoming more prominent and before he knew it his heart was screaming in pain and a river of tears was cascading down his cheeks, which he was unable to control. He frowned, taken aback by this unbidden reaction and wiped his face clean so Rhianaye wouldn't see him. The problem was that whenever his eyes looked at the long black wavy hair of his daughter swinging upon her back as the horse's pace picked up speed, more tears sprang from his eyes.

"Hey what's the matter?" Bilbo touched his shoulder concerned.

Thorin turned around, not knowing what to do with himself at that moment. Thankfully the only person able to support him was already there. Eilin rushed across the field and clasped his cheeks tightly. Then she gazed deep into his eyes. "For Mahal's sake get a hold of yourself. Don't let her see you this way." She frowned.

He shook his head and his bottom lip trembled. "I cannot help it." He muttered.

She wiped his cheeks and pushed the long ringlets away from his eyes. "No, no, no. Come on honey…."

Thorin's eyes burned anew and the pain he felt in his heart was almost suffocating. "Eilin look at her. Look at our precious Little Gem."

Eilin turned around.

"Look at our little girl coming to her own. Just look at her go…" Thorin whispered and felt his face contracting as the unbearable sadness and fear he had felt for his daughter all this years seemed to have found an unexpected outlet at this big victory of hers today.

Even though Eilin's heart was so happy to see her daughter achieve this rather difficult task, her soul opened up to engulf Thorin's unexpected breakdown. "Oh honey, I know." She caressed his temple gently.

"I have witnessed her struggle so much and for so long.…" Thorin murmured overcome.

"I know my love. I know how you feel." She kissed his forehead and rubbed her hands upon his black beard.

"She is going to be okay..." He exhaled and more tears surged his eyes.

"Was there any doubt?" Eilin frowned.

Thorin was unable to answer. He simply hid his face on her shoulder and allowed himself to cry like he hadn't done for many years. He cried for Rhianaye's inability to breathe properly when she was born. Her difficulty to speak and walk until she had seen all the seasons at least two times. He cried for all the nights he stayed awake to count her breaths and for how many times he prayed to Mahal that her body would become resilient. For all the times he begged the Gods for her legs to become strong enough to carry her from one room to the next without the need to support herself upon a wall or at the back of a chair. He cried for all his prayers that one day he'd be able to dance with her at her wedding day and that she'd be able to carry children. He never doubted her mental capabilities for they were exceptional since the moment she started speaking, but he prayed hard for her physical abilities to improve. So seeing her now, controlling such a large animal with such grace without any trace of difficulty had released the lever that was holding back all the dissapointment about her delayed development. Right now in front of him sitting majestically upon a beautiful horse was his Little Gem and she didn't look so little, weak and in need of protection anymore.

"Dad I did it!" Rhianaye yelled happily.

Thorin wiped his face clean with the help of Eilin and looked up. "Keep your body straight and your elbows loose!" He thundered.

Eilin nibbled her bottom lip and dried the sweat that broke on his brow. "Don't let her see you like this for Mahal's sake." She admonished.

He nodded. "I know, I won't."

"You know King Thorin, you are the best daddy Rhianaye could have ever had." Eilin smiled proudly and cupped his cheeks.

"An overly sentimental one..." He cringed.

"I feel honored to be one of the few who can admire this beautiful side of you." She whispered and kissed a few stray tears away.

"You always know what to say to make me feel better." His mouth formed a sad smile.

"I am your wife silly. Now shape up she is turning around." She frowned and then began grooming him.

Bilbo who was admiring them quietly till then, jumped into action and stepped in front of the Royal couple just as Rhianaye came galloping to them. "Go this way young lady to the borders of the village, turn the horse around and go straight up to that willow tree." He offered.

Rhianaye gave one quick, but proud look at her parents which wasn't close enough to notice her father's teary countenance and beamed. "Yes Uncle Bilbo! Immediately!"

His intervention as he stepped in to help Rhianaye train some more gave enough time for Eilin to calm down her husband, who emptied all his worries in her arms, before he was able to look his daughter straight in the eye once more. Yet when he did so, there wasn't a single tear in his eyes and his gaze was the proudest he had ever given to any of his children.

The satisfaction inside those loving azure eyes was recognized immediately by Rhianaye and filled her heart with euphoria.

* * *

 

It was the next day that Dis found Thorin sitting under a tall pine tree, musing towards the calm lake waters. She walked up to him quietly, crossed her hands and observed a fishing boat that was close to the shore throwing in the nets. "What are you doing here?"

"Searching for some peace of mind." His lips curled up.

"You miss it?" Dis smirked.

"Immensely." Thorin returned.

"You should have thought of that before taking a wife and having three children." Dis sounded chastising, but in reality she was just teasing him.

"Too late now." He rebuked with a calm smile.

Dis looked at his long hair waving at the summer's breeze and inhaled deeply the refreshing scent of the grass. "This place is heaven on earth truly."

"It calms down even the most troubled heart." Thorin's brow creased.

Dis pursed her lips and sat next to him. "So why are you sitting out here all alone? Give me the real reason this time."

Thorin looked at her sideways and smirked. "I am thinking."

"About what?" Dis crossed her arms above her knees and allowed her eyes to drift upon the lake's smooth surface.

"Everything about lies." Thorin said flatly.

Dis frowned silently.

He turned and observed her quiet scutiny. "I am thinking about all the lies that I was forced to say ever since the first time I began understanding my role in this world."

"What are you talking about?" Dis scowled.

"Lies Dis….remember? The mandatory link that kept our family together all these centuries?" Thorin sounded bitter.

Dis raised her brow. "How did that come up all of a sudden?"

"It has never gone away." He sounded dreadfully upset about something.

Dis clasped his shoulder. "Wolf?"

He shook his head. "You have no idea how many lies I had to keep all these years Gerbil."

Dis nodded softly. "I don't know how many, but you were always the keeper of the most precious secrets of the Longbeards."

Thorin smirked bitterly. "It is the only thing I know how to do very well."

Dis' lips turned down dejected. "Of course not, what is this nonsense?"

"I am an expert at letting people know only the things that I deem necessary. That has become a way of life for me. It is whom I have always been." Thorin continued.

"Our father molded you this way Wolf. You weren't born this way. At first you were a happy kid, like the rest of us, but slowly Thrain's assertiveness subdued the free spirit out of you in order to create a very powerful ruler, a highly adept diplomat and an expert politician. All those assets demand a very secretive nature. An honest man cannot make a good politician and you know it. Policymaking needs a very versatile personality that can adapt to every side of the argument and find common ground for everyone, whilst being able to keep control. A good diplomat knows how to keep secrets and lie when it is necessary. Degrading as it sounds, it is also essential. That asset in you is what created this mighty Alliance. Brutal honesty would have destroyed any bridges that needed to be built between all those different and rather stubborn races and you know it." Dis rejoined.

"It is one thing to keep grandfather's sickness a secret from the court Dis or to know how to white-lie in order to control a huge Alliance and another to keep my personal affairs from the people I love." Thorin raised his brow.

Dis nodded and her mouth twitched. "Oh, I see."

"I extended my ability to be secretive from using it as a very powerful tool in my rulership, to the people who meant the world to me in the end. Do you think that's good?" Thorin looked at her persistently.

Dis shook her head. "No…."

"Lying for what mattered most in my life had been unfair for you and Frerin, but you see that offered me the ability to be in control."

Dis frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I thought that if I revealed the truth and allowed other people to form their opinions I'd feel my life spinning out of control." Thorin said quietly.

"Thrain knocked all the innocence out of you my love and stripped you from the ability to trust in others." Dis caressed his shoulder.

"You know Gerbil, sometimes lies are the best means to sustain a well-ordered peace. Keeping grandfather's sickness a secret from you and Frerin allowed you to be happy and carefree and hiding it from our Kingdom allowed Erebor to continue living prosperously without any true worries about the future. I saw that lies could be helpful in order to give me control of a very difficult situation and allow the people I care about to continue living happily oblivious of the hell that I was holding back from them." Thorin tried to explain all the thoughts that were bombarding his mind.

"Lies sometimes can be very helpful in protecting the people we love, but sometimes we need to allow them to learn the truth and get hurt from that. The ability to handle pain helps people grow up… become more mature. Some secrets are necessary to be kept in order to sustain the peace of your rulership, but interpersonal relationships are different. Keeping me from learning about Siv only hurt you more. You didn't have anyone to share your burden with and that made you lock up further. Lying to me about your fertility issues was even worse. That almost destroyed your relationship with Eilin for heaven's sake. You need to learn to discern when those lies are necessary to be kept for the good of your people and when it is best share the truth with the people you love and maybe allow them to be hurt by it sometimes too." Dis pressed her lips and looked at him lovingly.

"I am a fool no matter how wise people think I am. After all these years and after all these hard lessons I don't think I have learned much. I am still lying to the ones I love the most and it is tearing me apart." Thorin sounded disheartened.

Dis propped her chin upon her knees. "Is this about Othin?"

Thorin remained silent.

"At least you didn't keep the truth from me this time." Dis raised her brows.

"I kept it from the one who matters the most to me though." Thorin's voice was thick with emotion.

"Then tell her!" Dis looked at him intensely.

"How?!" Thorin snapped.

Dis pulled back.

"How can I reveal his identity when her father is unwilling to do so Dis?! How can I be the one to unravel a tangled ball of yarn that is in reality her father's story?! At the end of the line, am I strong enough to do it?" Thorin face settled in anger.

"Instead of fearing to betray Othin, you should be fearing Eilin's wrath when she finds out that you kept this secret from her. Her retaliation is going to be enhanced by the pain she will feel inside when she learns that her father was there next to her all this time and everyone knew, except from her." Dis' voice became hard.

Thorin rubbed his face. "I know."

"She trusts you to deliver the truth, to protect her. Don't fail her." Dis warned.

"I am not telling her the truth because I want to protect her." Thorin rebuked heavily.

"How can you do that, when she will get hurt anyway when she finds out? Is there an easy way to tell her about Othin?" Dis rejoined.

"No."

"Therefore she will get hurt eventually. Better she learns it from you, than from anyone else Thorin. Listen to me, please." Dis grasped his forearm and her voice filled with emotion.

"I am trying to prepare her…slowly." Thorin cringed.

"Forget your bloody semi-measures. Nothing will work when the times comes. The news will crash upon her like a two ton war carriage and nothing you do will change that." Dis continued.

"I don't want her to get hurt." Thorin's countenance was broken.

"You don't want to ruin the peace that your family has right now wolf, but that peace is based on dishonesty. Be careful this doesn't backfire on you. Speak to your wife and tell her the truth. You might not feel strong enough to see her break apart, but you must do it. She must go through hell in order to hope of ever finding her peace, but when she finally does it then that peace shall be the real deal. She will have earned it by knowing everything about her father and by accepting it. You cannot soften the blow for her. You can only be there to hold her when she inevitably crashes." Dis caressed his forearm gently.

Thorin's eyes were full of tears. "I wish I could make him vanish. Then maybe things would go back to what they used to be before he appeared."

"The hell you fear so much hasn't even started yet wolf. Even if you made him vanish your wife's questions about her past would still remain unanswered. You must both go through hell to find your heaven once more. You are a man who fears nothing, not even death…..enter this battle as bravely as you always do. Tell her the truth." Dis' voice was encouraging.

"So I should be the one to break her?" Thorin flared his shoulders.

"You will break her and you will be there to pick up her pieces one by one and then help her mend." Dis smiled bitterly.

"I don't want to do that." Thorin's eyes filled with dread.

"So you want to remain at the side-lines? Lie to her and wait for Othin to tell her the truth? Then what do you expect from her to do? Thank you for lying to her?" Dis continued quietly.

"She will hate me." Thorin's voice was diminished.

Dis pursed her lips and looked at the lake. "I wouldn't say hate you, but she will have some rather negative feelings towards you. Are you ready to take that on or is it easier to be the one to reveal to her the truth?"

Thorin squeezed his eyes tight.

"Do it!" Dis frowned.

"No Dis." He rejoined flatly.

Dis cupped her forehead. "Oh, Thorin…"

He swallowed heavily. "Telchar's family has placed me in the middle of an ethical dilemma. I made an oath to Eilin to always be truthful and I promised her father I won't reveal his identity until he is ready to do it himself. I am still a bloody liar and I cannot do anything about it!" He spat.

Dis embraced him and leaned her head on his shoulder. "You are a liar for all the right reasons my love. Sometimes you need to allow people to be hurt by the truth, to bleed from it, to heal with your help and then become stronger. Protecting them with lies only keeps them weak. Do you wish Eilin to remain weak or to become stronger through this hardship?"

"I don't want her broken. That is all." Thorin's voice was barely heard.

"She will break no matter what you do. It comes down to which oath you are going to fail. The one to your wife or the one to her father?"

"I have already decided." Thorin's eyes welled once more.

Dis looked at his face mutely.

"I will not intervene. Her father must be the one to reveal his identity." Thorin rebuked heavily.

"You will have her wrath in your hands." Dis warned.

Thorin covered his face and closed his eyes.

"And I am afraid that will break you too." Dis whispered and caressed his hair.

"I cannot do anything else Dis….forgive me." He whispered.

Dis kissed his cheek. "Make an apology to her when the times comes with the same honesty you did to me." She muttered.

Thorin nodded slowly. "I will."

That is when the voice of Eilin interrupted their heavy conversation. "Good evening people." She walked up to him happily.

Dis pulled back and Thorin clasped Eilin's hand and brought it to his lips. "Hello my precious. How do you feel?"

Eilin sat at the grass next to him and yawned. "I had the best sleep ever and I feel perfect!"

"I better leave you two alone. I am going to take the kids swimming at the lake." Dis stood up.

"Thank you Gerbil." Thorin's smile held a shadow that Dis recognized.

She raised her brow at him and then waved. "Stay here and relax. This place is truly magical."

Thorin felt Eilin's arms coming around his shoulders and he closed his eyes. "Nausea gone?"

Eilin nodded. "No trace of it whatsoever."

"I'll cook some soup for dinner. It will make you feel better." He rejoined.

"Let Loa do that for us and stay here to relax with me. I need this so much." She kissed the back of his head.

He closed his eyes and sighed. "Me too."

"Ah, perfect. I have you were I want you. Now keep your eyes closed…" She said quietly.

He frowned and felt her propping something on top of his head. "What is this?" He reached up to touch it.

"A flower crown." She smiled and buried her nose inside his thick mane.

Thorin felt his heart complaining hard and his eyes overflowing with fresh tears. His hands clasped hers tightly and he brought them to his lips. At that moment he was unable to find the proper words to explain to her how painful it was for him to keep this secret from her, how truly unable he was to intervene and how much he feared the moment she found out.

He felt the flower crown she offered him way too heavy and his heart broke into a dozen pieces as he knew that soon she'd be more hurt than ever before and that he was unable to do anything to stop the hell that was coming their way. As he turned around and enclosed her in his embrace the words of Dis echoed in his mind.

_"Sometimes you need to allow people to be hurt by the truth, to bleed from it, to heal with your help and then become stronger. Protecting them with lies only keeps them weak. Do you wish Eilin to remain weak or to become stronger through this hardship?"_

….and he felt broken when he realized that he was unable to shield Eilin from the truth, forever.

* * *

***********************...**************************

***********************...**************************


	38. Ripples of malice

 

"Did you just offer me a flower crown?" Thorin murmured feeling overwhelmed by this beautiful representation of affection, but also from his demanding conversation with Dis before.

Her lips ghosted his cheek and she smiled. "Of course."

"You are still courting me?" He exhaled in delight, feeling his heart calming down slowly now that he was being cuddled by her.

"Yes...do you mind?" A feathery touch slid over his black beard and made him shudder.

"You are still choosing me as a partner...?" His brow clouded.

"Always." She replied with ease.

"Despite of so many difficulties especially after the kids...You don't regret your choice?" His voice was coarse.

"I'd never regret you. If I had to do it again, I would have done it exactly as it happened, down to our darkest moments." Her fingers toyed with the roughness of his beard and send tingles of pleasure on his jawline.

He felt the dagger of guilt twisting around his heart, bleeding it. He turned around and his tall stature threw a shadow upon her clear features. "Me neither Eilin…I would have done everything the same with you had I been given the choice to turn back time."

Her smile was caring and as her warm palm touched the side of his face his heart twitched in agony. "Then why do you seem so moody my love? I thought my flower crown would make you happy."

His large hand engulfed hers and he kissed that smooth palm firmly. "Oh, it does make me happier than you can imagine."

Her other hand cleared some silver ringlets from his eyes. "Your mouth is telling me things that your face is not showing."

He swallowed heavily and pushed her down carefully. Then he leaned on top of her and his hand stroked her forehead. "Is this better?" He forced himself to smile, not knowing if he was doing a good job.

She nibbled her bottom lip and her hands traced the strong muscles on his sides. "Better than before." –She stared at the crooked flower crown and reached up to fix it- "You do look adorable in this crown, just so you know. I am very lucky Ith is not around to see you now."

Thorin's brow arched.

She closed her eyes and chuckled. "I am only joking."

His lips touched her chin gently. "Don't…"

She inhaled deeply in satisfaction and smiled. "I won't honey, I promise. Still you look endearing with a flower crown."

"I think you might be a little bias, but you won't see me complaining." He smiled and pampered her jawline with soft kisses.

"Do you want to engage my arm and saunter the village whilst wearing that crown? We can ask all the cute Hobbit ladies what they think of you wearing it." She offered teasingly.

He opened his mouth and nibbled her earlobe, sending a rush of goosebumps down her forearm. "Don't push you luck." The warning was clear. She giggled then and his heart filled with warmth. Eilin’s happiness was pushing away the menacing foreshadowing he had felt when he talked with Dis.

"I can feel your mood turning around. I like that." She murmured and her hand slid up his shoulder-blade.

His hand fondled her face affectionately. "Tell me, do you truly feel better now?"

She opened her eyes and smiled brightly. "Much better."

"No more upset stomach?" He frowned and his finger teased the sensitive skin under her earlobe.

"No, honey. I feel fine, stop worrying." She returned.

He gazed into her gorgeous green eyes tentatively. "Alright." He agreed half-heartedly.

She looked at him dotingly for several moments before speaking. "Still though your face is full of shadows I don't care to see."

"Forgive me." He withdrew his eyes from hers.

She cupped his cheeks and lifted his face up again. "Look at me." She said quietly.

He did so, with great difficulty.

"Do you look this distressed because of what happened with Rhianaye at the field?" Eilin tried another approach.

He seemed slightly taken aback for several moments.

"Your breakdown." She whispered and cradled his face lovingly.

He closed his eyes and the side of his mouth curled up. "Oh, Eilin…"

"Is that it?" She asked eagerly.

"No my precious." He shook his head.

Her brow filled with wrinkles. "Then why do you look so pensive? You are supposed to be resting and forgetting all your worries, yet you look gloomier than ever."

His thumb came up to smooth those wrinkles away and he pecked her nose. "What happened with Rhianaye tore me apart in ways I have never expected and released emotions I thought I had buried forever. However the feeling that lingered in the aftermath was only ultimate pride and breathtaking bliss that I cannot hide every time I talk to someone about her impeccable riding session."

Eilin's face brightened up. "You are not lying, because your face lit up just now."

"I know I am not lying." His sentence started out as light-heartened, but at the full-stop it was heavy and bitter.

"Now you turned gloomy again." She frowned.

He pulled away with a heavy exhalation, truly annoyed at her uncanny ability to read his emotions so well. "I hate it when you do that." He admonished.

She wrapped her arms behind his neck and sat up with him. "There is something bothering you and it is painfully obvious to me. It is not Rhianaye, alright…you didn't lie about that. So what is it?"

He looked at a small white flower that was amidst the green grass, close to his hand sulkily. "Do you believe that we deserve the peace that we have now?"

His question came out of the blue and it was rather confusing for Eilin. "What do you mean honey?"

"Do we deserve the peaceful times that we are being offered right now?" He said and plucked the flower out of the ground.

"Why shouldn't we deserve them? Didn't we go through enough with Ith and Dol Guldur and all those nightmares you got riddled with? Don't make me remember those blood curdling whispers of death you kept hearing and send you down the road to oblivion. I don’t want to remember how close I came to losing you behind the veil…." –She shuddered and then jerked up in an afterthought- "Don't tell me you are hearing them again." She grasped his hand tightly.

He brought the flower over her forehead and started stroking her face gently with it. "No, I am not hearing whispers anymore."

Eilin closed her eyes with a sigh of relief and then smiled. "Then what is troubling you?"

"I just don't know if the beautiful moments that we are sharing now are well-deserved or simply a very fragile peace that is in danger of shattering at any moment." He murmured.

Her smile was uncomfortable. "You are starting to worry me. Why are you speaking in riddles? Why would these lovely days be ruined for us?"

He swallowed heavily. "Eilin…." He hesitated visibly.

She opened her eyes and clasped his hand that held the fragile flower in it. "Thorin what is the matter?" Her voice turned solemn.

He looked at her lips and felt sweat breaking on his forehead. His mind was racing faster than a tornado as he tried to calm down the intense drumming of his heart.

She pushed away his thick locks and cupped the side of his neck. "Thorin?" She gazed worriedly in his beautiful eyes.

"You are aware that a big part of my life has been dedicated in keeping the secrets of the Longbeards safe from the world…." He let that thought trail.

"Yes of course." Her thumb caressed his collarbone.

"I have always lived this way." He stumbled visibly.

She shook her head, not truly certain what he was trying to tell her. "I know…"

"I'd do the same for your family." Thorin's voice was coming out with difficulty.

"My family?" She frowned feeling confused.

"The secrets of Telchar's family –if they ever fell under my knowledge- would be similarly safe." Thorin's eyes were searing through hers.

Her lips twitched with reservation. "I know my love and I thank you for that."

He drew her hand away from his cheek and placed a firm kiss on her palm. "Eilin…" He stammered.

She frowned and kissed his forehead. "What is it honey? Tell me please…."

"Being a keeper of great secrets also means that I can also be a great liar….Belittling as it sounds, it is the truth." He staggered and felt his heart palpitating.

She closed her eyes and smiled. "Does this have to do with all those secrets you kept from me about your past? With your engagement to Siv and her death? I told you I don't care what happened in the past Thorin…I love you just the way you are. With every single guilty baggage you are tagging along. I won't allow you to mop in miserable remorse anymore. Now enough."

He sighed deeply and drew her in his embrace, trying to hide his wet eyes from her. His hand twitched hard as it held her close.

She wrapped her arms around his back. "Honey? Are you okay?"

This was his chance wasn't it? The chance to reveal to her the truth and break her. The chance to speak to her about Othin and be free of all guilt. It was his chance to decide if he wanted to break his oath to her or to her father and despite declaring to Dis that he had already made up his mind at this moment, his determination was wavering hard. He found himself standing upon the edge of thorns and the words were just there at the tip of his tongue ready to destroy her.

The moments she held him expecting him to respond felt like an eternity as he was lost in the void.

“Are you okay?” She whispered.

When he spoke next, his heart twitched in agony and his stomach dropped in an icy lake of remorse. "Yes, yes I am okay. I was indeed speaking about the past." He forced himself to sound light-hearted- "Will you hate me for what happened back then?"

"I already told you that I don’t care what happened with Siv. I could never hate you for what happened in the past my love. Never! Haven't I convinced you enough about that after all our talks?" Eilin pulled back and her smile was surging with so much devotion that another dagger pierced Thorin's heart.

"Would you ever hate me if you knew that I kept more secrets from you in the future?" He muttered, truly unable to look her in the eyes.

The clarity upon Eilin's face suddenly clouded with suspicion. "Is there something else you are not telling me?"

He felt his stomach tilting backwards. He grabbed her hands tightly and closed his eyes. "Just indulge me please. Let us suppose that you learn in the future that I have been keeping more secrets from you. Would you detest me for that?"

"It depends on the secret and how much it affects our family." Eilin tried to reason.

He felt his heart plunging.

Eilin pressed her lips and looked at him steadily. "Maybe I won't be angry at all, maybe a little…but I could never hate you. I adore you."

Thorin inhaled deeply and cradled her hands in his. "What if that secret was so big you'd truly loathe me?"

Eilin's mouth formed an uncertain smile. "You have a wild imagination."

"What if!?" His eyes burned through hers with an intensity that made her uneasy.

Suddenly Eilin lost all her vigor. "Thorin what is the matter?"

When he saw the doubt forming upon her beautiful features he felt his heart sinking into the abyss. Suddenly the furious battle inside him seized and his mouth formed an embittered smile. He had managed not only to fail at revealing Othin's identity, he had also managed to make her rather worried, by spitting out all those half-concealed truths. Now he had to undo his blunder and restore that happy twinkle in her gorgeous eyes. He forced himself to smile and sound as light-hearted as his bleeding heart allowed him and above all he had to push back the tears that were burning his eyes. "I must have sounded silly right now. Please Eilin, don't give my stupid blubbering any notice."

She licked her bottom lip and smiled up at him. "Thorin remember that no matter what happens between us in the future or how serious you think it may be, I could never hate you. I love you more than my life."

"Would you forgive all my mistakes though?" His voice was diminished.

Eilin felt her heart pinching her hard and she tried to fit him in her arms. "Of course honey, come here."

He settled there as best as he could and leaned his head on her shoulder. When he felt her soft lips smoothing at the side of his face and her hands stroking his back lovingly he exhaled and nodded. "I am sorry I ruined your mood."

"I don't know what came over you. That is what is making me worried. I don’t care about my mood, I just hate to see you like this." Eilin whispered and planted several gentle kisses at his cheekbone.

His arms came round her waist and held her close. "I don't know what came over me either." He murmured.

"You need to recuperate that's what I think. You are still overcome by what happened in Dol Guldur and Ith's stupid intervention didn't allow you to quiet down. We came here for you to find some peace of mind and you are still heavily wound up. You need to allow me to soothe you down." She smiled and pushed him back so she could see his face.

His smile was crushed. "I do need to unwind."

She raised her brow and pursed her lips. "Come on, I know what to do to fix you up."

He frowned. "What?" He looked confused as she turned him around and made him lay his head upon her lap.

She arranged his long hair so it wouldn't warm up his nape and cleared his face from it completely. Then she fixed his flower crown better and planted a gentle kiss on his forehead. "Does that feel comfortable?"

"Yes." He smiled.

"Relax your body don’t be so tense…" She commanded teasingly.

"I will try." He said and indeed made a half-hearted effort to unwind his body.

Eilin rested her back against the tree bark and began threading her fingers softly through his silver and black locks from the roots and outwards. "Now close your eyes." She whispered.

"I cannot sleep now." He frowned with a smile that had a few timid traces of playfulness in it.

"Of course you can." She smiled knowingly and tunneled her fingers through the thickness of his ringlets.

"I woke up not long ago and I had a good night's rest. I am not sleepy at all." He admonished, but kept his eyes closed nevertheless.

"Now hush your mouth King Thorin and allow me to work my magic." She murmured and kissed the top of his cheekbone.

Thorin exhaled and nodded softly. "Okay."

Eilin pulled back and began a thorough caress of the base of his head without omitting to stroke his beard gently every once in a while. As she worked her way through every tense nerve in his body by her thoroughly tender touch she began humming a tune and soon enough her enchanting voice filled the air around them and made Thorin's hair stand on end.

 _"Here we are_  
_Riding the sky_  
_Painting the night with sun_  
_You and I, Mirrors of light_  
_Twin flames of fire_  
_Lit in another time and place."_

Thorin settled in her lap and one eye cracked open to look at her in delight. "That is so unfair." He mouthed, not wishing to stop her nonetheless. She pinched his cheek and caressed his nose with hers as she continued her singing.

 _"I knew your name_  
_I knew your face_  
_Your love and grace_  
_Past and present now embrace_  
_Worlds collide in inner space_  
_Unstoppable, the song we play"_

Thorin felt waves of shivers running through his body and the previous darkness slowly lifting its heavy veils away from his heart as she sang for him. Slowly as her experienced fingers ran lovingly through his hair –one of the few touches that could truly unravel him- he allowed himself to let go.

 _"Age to age_  
_I feel the call_  
_Memory of future dreams_  
_You and I, riding the sky_  
_Keeping the fire bright_  
_From another time and place"_

His legs and arms started relaxing first and then his head became much heavier on Eilin's lap. As she twisted a finger around a ringlet and sang, her mouth formed a sweet smile, because she knew that she had him exactly where she wanted. On the verge of oblivion. So she stroked steadily and she kissed. She sang and she cradled until Thorin's breathing became heavy and he was easily drawn in a world of dreams that had no darkness in them whatsoever.

When Eilin knew that she had managed to lull him to sleep she settled back satisfied and stopped her enchanting singing, but she didn't seize smoothing her fingers through his hair. She closed her eyes too and felt the distantly uncomfortable pains of the way she was sitting poking at her upper hips however there wasn't a single thing that was going to make her move and ruin his peacefulness. So she remained there unmoving for a long time, patiently enduring the heaviness of his head and the numbness of her thighs while her eyes were feasting the calm lake waters.

There in that sore position once in a while…Eilin's hand left Thorin's head and landed on her lower belly…and that is when her serene face gained a newfound energy and her eyes a happy twinkle that Thorin couldn't see.

* * *

 

It was the voice of Bella Goodchild that finally intruded her reverie. "Hello my darling." She whispered.

Eilin placed her forefinger upon her lips. "Hush…." She caressed Thorin's face.

Bella sat down quietly. "He asleep?" She whispered.

"Out cold." Eilin’s eyes were truly shining as did her whole face.

"Was he tired?" Bella asked with the same hushed tone.

"No…but I have a magic touch." Eilin chuckled playfully.

"You can come find me later if you want." Bella rejoined.

"Why?" Eilin whispered.

"So we don’t bother him. He seems to be sleeping so tranquilly." Bella smiled wistfully towards the sleeping King.

"He is a very heavy sleeper. He won't wake up easily. I had a difficulty waking him up when I went into labor with the twins, go figure…" Eilin said and resumed her soft caress through his hair.

Bella snorted. "How about Thrárin's birth?"

"Labor caught me when he was in a campaign at Ered Mithrin. They send the ravens out to him, but by the time he was back our little red-headed prince was already out." Eilin smiled.

"Oh, that must have been a dissapointment." Bella's lips turned down.

"I didn't mind too much. Being married to a King means you have to make a lot of sacrifices. He cannot be present all the time. Besides he was there at the birth of the twins and held my hand all the time." Eilin said pleased and twisted one of his black locks around her forefinger.

"Was he upset that he missed Thrárin's birth?" Bella asked quietly.

"He was beside himself, but I have to give him kudos. He remained for a week to help me and like with the twins, he took over the newborn immediately despite his exhaustion from the campaign. I still remember him wearing the baby skin to skin the night he arrived and Rhianaye asking him why he was bleeding." Eilin's face clouded.

"Bleeding?" Bella frowned.

"He had a wound on his ribs which he didn't take care of as he was in a hurry to come to me, so when he wore Thrárin the sling got stained by his blood." Eilin looked down at him with a look of adoration in her eyes.

"Aw…" Bella looked at him the same way too.

"You know I never washed that sling. I kept it so I can show it to Thrárin when he grows older, as a testament of how much daddy loved him." Eilin's voice filled with emotion.

Bella's heart was already melting. "I sometimes wonder what kind of a father Hamfast will make."

"It is really strange that you haven't decided to have any children yet, to be honest." Eilin frowned.

"He is hesitant. I think he is afraid of the responsibility, but I know that despite his unbearable grumpiness he is going to make a very good dad." Bella's face filled with longing.

Eilin recognized it for she felt the same one. "I am sure he is going to be a perfect dad and that you two guys should start trying immediately. Don't let too much time go to waste."

"He doesn't want the trouble…the change children bring, you know. He only wants to mind his own business, his garden, me and our home." Bella shrugged.

"Well I could lie and tell you that your children are not going to be any trouble….but…." Eilin smirked.

Bella nodded. "I know…I've seen what happened to all our neighbors after they became parents."

"What did?" Eilin couldn't stop the knowledgeable smile forming on her face.

"Well they did lose their comfort and their peace of mind. I mean you know that better than anyone. You got three of them and they are really wild from what I have seen." Bella returned with a hesitant smile.

"Well the twins are wild indeed, because they have taken after their daddy. However Thrárin is the most kind and quiet soul ever. I think he took from me. He just gets in trouble because the twins are luring him in with their tricks." Eilin beamed dotingly at her sleeping husband.

Bella looked at her proudly. "However they are all so beautiful and clever, which was expected seeing how handsome their dad is and how gorgeous their mom."

Eilin blushed. "Thank you so much."

Bella touched her arm. "Tell me the truth though. Despite having such beautiful kids, weren't they a hell to raise? Didn't you lose all your peace and quiet? Wasn't the relationship with your husband shaken even just a little?"

Eilin pursed her lips and entwined her fingers through Thorin's hair, monitoring his steady breathing in the back of her mind. "Of course they were and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. When you give birth you decide to split your heart into many pieces and allow it to walk outside of your body. It is going to always follow your children no matter how old they grow and how many years have passed. Children will make you lose your sleep, your freedom, your peace of mind, your independence, your patience and they will put your marriage under a lot of strain. Don't be misled. Having children is the hardest work you will ever do, but also the most rewarding. They are going to redefine the word love for you and your husband and make you see the world through a different light….a much more giving one….a much less selfish. The world will stop being you, Hamfast, his garden and your house. Your world will become your kids and it will revolve around them. Be careful then because a man who is not as self-certain might feel abandoned by his wife. I mean even the most proud man can find himself wavering with doubt about his self-worth when he becomes a father and that indeed can cause a lot of strain."

"Even the King of the North?" Bella's eyes filled with wonder.

"Even him." Eilin whispered and kissed his temple. He didn't even stir.

"Then Hamfast has no hope." Bella sounded disappointed.

Eilin clasped her shoulder. "Having children is a learning experience my dear. You make mistakes, you fix them, you learn and you move on, but as long as you love your man and he loves you anything will be possible."

Bella's face formed a sweet smile. "Thank you for being honest with me."

"I could have sugarcoated things…" Eilin raised her brows.

"I didn't want you to. You know what you are talking about. You have experience. I mean…three children…wow." Bella grinned.

Eilin's mouth formed a lopsided smile. "Well three…uhm…about that."

Bella frowned. "What?"

Eilin looked at her long and hard and she was unable to hide the sparkle in her eyes. "Well…they are kind-of ….four." She murmured.

Bella seemed more confused than before. "What do you mean?"

"The children…they are not three….anymore." Eilin said with a teasing smile and touched her lower belly.

Bella gazed at it bewildered for a few moments before her mouth dropped open. "What?!" She shouted and sprang on her feet.

Eilin giggled and grasped her hand. "Sit down and be quiet!" She admonished and observed Thorin who stirred for a few moments, before settling down again.

Bella cupped her mouth. "When did you learn?"

"Three days ago. My nausea was very suspicious and I tried Dis' old barley trick." Eilin shrugged, but the smug smile was permanently painted on her beautiful face.

"It bloomed?" Bella clapped her hands enthusiastically.

"Almost within the day, which means I am close to finishing my second moon circle." Eilin rejoined unable to hide her bliss.

"Does anyone know?" Bella looked at Thorin.

Eilin caressed the side of his face gently. "Not him, nor anyone else yet."

"I am the first one?!" -Bella screeched and then covered her mouth- "Sorry!" She whispered.

"Indeed you are!" Eilin was absolutely radiating.

Bella embraced her tightly and kissed her. "I am so happy for you. For both of you. I mean were you guys aiming for it?"

Eilin scrounged her lips. "We were never aiming for a pregnancy, we just sort of…you know let things free knowing that it might happen."

Bella peeped happily and grasped Eilin's hands. "I mean the fourth…I mean…wow…." She muttered.

Eilin nodded happily. "The fourth indeed."

"Are you scared?" Bella looked at her absolutely dumbfounded.

"Nope. I am over the moon!" Eilin smiled widely.

"And he will be too. When will you tell him?" Bella gazed at the sleeping King.

"At the summer feast tomorrow." Eilin’s face absolutely glowed as she was feeling ridiculously cheerful.

"You are so blessed Eilin….for other people this is so hard." Bella grinned.

Eilin's mind flew at Thorin's supposed infertility that almost destroyed them when she was pregnant with the twins and shuddered. She didn't want to revisit those times again. They have grown so much since then.

"I don't know if I am blessed or he is…." She looked at her sleeping husband wistfully.

Bella scrounged her lips.

"I think Mahal has seen what a good daddy he is and decided to bless him with as many children as possible…and I get those blessings alongside my King." Eilin leaned down and kissed his temple.

Thorin didn't move.

"You love him so much." Bella's eyes twinkled.

"More than my life." Eilin's countenance mellowed with all the love she felt inside.

Bella touched her hand. "I am so happy for both of you then….I mean for all three of you." She pointed at Eilin's belly.

"You mean for all six of us!" Eilin's face lit up with delight.

Bella laughed. "All six of you indeed!"

"You know when I worked in that accursed tavern, I couldn't even imagine finding a man that I would love so deeply, never mind having four children from him….and who knows maybe even more in the future." Eilin beamed.

"You are unstoppable, aren't you?" Bella grinned.

"With him yes. As long as he is next to me to share the responsibilities I will always wish for more children with him. As many as he can give me. However I will tease the soul out of him about this when the time comes, believe me." Eilin's stomach bubbled up.

"Why in the name of heaven?" Bella frowned.

"I must keep this man always on his toes..." Eilin winked.

Bella laughed and looked at Eilin's belly. "Do you think this is going to be a girl?"

She stroked it protectively and then her fingers entwined through Thorin's hair. "I have a feeling it's a boy again. I suppose our Little Gem will have to wait until we give her a little baby sister."

"The happiness in your face is so telling of the bliss you feel inside right now." Bella noticed.

"How can I not feel happy? The Gods couldn't have gifted me with a more perfect father for my children." Eilin's face softened.

Bella touched her heart. "That is what I am thinking about Hamfast."

"If that is how you feel my dear, you are both late already. Start trying immediately!" Eilin squeezed her hand.

"Oh, if I fall pregnant now does that mean our children will grow up together?" Bella's eyes grew wide with delight.

"Well, they will surely become friends whenever we visit the Shire!" Eilin's mouth formed a wide smile.

Bella giggled madly. "I wish you the best my dear and I hope I can follow on your footsteps."

"I hope so too." Eilin kissed her cheek and then settled back quickly before their interactions managed to wake up Thorin. Despite the happiness she felt inside by revealing this amazing secret to Bella, she still wanted to offer her husband his much needed rest and there was still an unidentifiable shadow lingering in the back of her mind about what Thorin had been trying to say to her before she managed to calm him down. It felt as if something serious was tormenting him and that he came very close to sharing it with her, but he stopped at the last moment. That made her feel slightly paranoid and also worried, emotions that tainted the euphoria that was overflowing her heart at seeing her husband resting over her newly pregnant belly.

* * *

 

"I am telling you that I am going to find the opportunity to leave for Rivendell during our journey back. We will camp near the Misty Mountains. It will be a quick ride from there to see Celebriel." Durin sounded determined.

"You are going to ride alone into the wilderness to go see some random Elfling. Are you mad!?" Rhianaye slapped his shoulder.

"I promised her that I would go and she is not random to me." Durin thundered.

"Do it when you are older and able to protect yourself. Didn't you see how many men dad brought as an escort for us in this trip? Do you think that if he felt there wasn't any danger out there he would have done that? Do you believe that if you detach yourself from our group and go alone the danger that dad fears will not hunt you down?" Rhianaye tried to reason.

Durin crossed his arms and looked at the river.

"You are Durin the Seventh! I believe that name has a nasty ring down at the Ash Mountains along with several other very important people across Middle Earth. You cannot travel alone. Get your bloody head together!" Rhianaye pushed him hard.

Durin steadied himself and reciprocated. "Stop shoving me. I know the dangers, but I also know how to ride very well and I will go incognito. No one will recognize me."

"Oh, so anyone who sees a Dwarfling travelling alone in the middle of the night will think it is absolutely normal, especially when everyone knows how protective our kin is of its children!" Rhianaye shouted at his face.

Durin drew his shoulder away from her grasp. "You are making a big deal out of this."

"And you are not using your brains. I am warning you. I am not going to cover up for you this time. The moment I realize you are sneaking out I am going to tell dad." Rhianaye said crossly.

Durin absolutely fumed. "Of course, you've proven enough times that you are unable to keep my secrets. I don't know why I am telling you my plans to begin with. I should have told them only to Lis. She would have helped me without any questions."

"I am going to tell on her too if she makes the mistake to escort you in the wilderness alone. Beware! I am able to hold your secrets, but not those which put you in immediate danger!" Rhianaye rebuked.

Durin rubbed his forehead. "I don't want to back off at my promise."

"We will find another way, much safer. Not this way Durin…just no!" Rhianaye warned him.

"Daddy has secrets too." Thrárin chimed in.

"What did you say?" Durin looked up sharply.

"I said daddy has secrets too." Thrárin said indifferently as he was trying to fix the nets that his siblings and he were preparing to throw into the lake.

Rhianaye looked at Durin with a frown.

"Of course he does Shorty. He is the King of the North. He must be able to keep secrets." Durin rejoined dismissively.

Rhianaye raised her hand. "Wait a minute. I don't think Thrárin means the usual secrets dad keeps in his job."

"I am too tired from cleaning the carpet that you destroyed and too pissed off by you to listen to Thrárin’s ramblings right now. Honest." Durin laid under the shade of the biggest willow tree and closed his eyes.

Rhianaye huffed. "You must learn how to keep your mind open in order to absorb every information that comes your way. That will be useful for your rulership one day. Honestly aren't you listening to anything that dad is telling us? Do you think he rejects information just because it came from someone he thinks is not reliable enough? I bet he takes everything into consideration until he can figure out himself what is worth his time and what not."

Durin pursed his lips. "That part of dad's kingship I don't care for."

Rhianaye crossed her arms. "So you don't care about the administrative aspect of being a King. Great…how are you going to manage to control what dad has built up for the North I wonder."

"By the sheer power of my sword." Durin rejoined proudly without opening his eyes.

"By brute force therefore. You need to learn how to process information brother or else you will fail miserably." Rhianaye rebuked.

"I will have advisors around to do that job for me." Durin retorted.

"Of course." Rhianaye rolled her eyes.

"With you being the first of them." Durin opened one bright blue eye and gazed at her.

Rhianaye shook her head. "That's not enough. Dad may be depending on Lord Balin and Lord Dain, but he knows how this is supposed to be worked through in the first place. He is not all brute force and heavy swords. He is also very brainy if you haven't noticed."

"I don't care to notice." Durin dismissed her.

"Oh, you fool." Rhianaye pursed her lips.

"Shut up sis." -Durin chastised- "I want to sleep."

Rhianaye turned to Thrárin not intending to allow that random information that seemed to come out of nowhere go to waste. She touched his shoulder. "What did you mean by that Shorty? What kind of lies does dad have? Do you mean at his work?"

"No, with Master Urkar." Thrárin murmured inattentively as he was too absorbed with his nets.

That seemed to animate Durin who opened one eye again and gazed at them side-ways. "Urkar?"

Rhianaye pointed at her brother. "Aha!" She exclaimed.

Durin rolled his eyes. "Fine, you may have a point. Go one Shorty. What kind of secrets does dad and Urkar have?"

"About a battle and about mom." Thrárin rejoined and looked at the nets closely.

Rhianaye grabbed him by the shoulder and span him around. "Mom?"

This time Durin sat up and exchanged a worried glance with his sister. "What did he say?"

"Secrets about mom." -Rhianaye raised her brow and then turned to her youngest brother- "What kind of secrets?"

"I don't think I am supposed to tell." Thrárin looked at his sister fearfully.

"Why? Did they tell you to keep it hush-hush?" She smiled.

Thrárin shook his head. "No."

"Then you can tell us. We are your siblings." Rhianaye pointed at herself and Durin.

"No." Thrárin insisted.

"You won't tell us?" Rhianaye raised her brows.

"No." The taciturn answer.

"Then why did you tell us about the secrets in the first place?! That's unfair!" Rhianaye exploded.

Thrárin pulled back fearfully.

Durin stood up and came over. He knelt in front of his brother and eyed Rhianaye. "Wait a minute. Scaring him won't give us any answers."

She tilted her head and pointed at Thrárin. "Wanna take over, future and mighty King of ours?"

"Don't jest." Durin warned.

"I am not, but I was telling you to take note before, didn’t I?" Rhianaye scowled angrily.

"You did and I was mistaken. Now I heard your advice and I am here so give me a break, okay? Besides I didn't see you doing so well in questioning the little goblin." Durin returned so coolly that he grounded his twin's anger hard.

Rhianaye settled back and tilted her head, waiting to chastise her older brother at the first opportunity.

Durin observed his little brother for several moments before taking part of the net in his hands and helping him out. "So Thrárin tell me, did you actually hear those secrets that you are telling us or imagined them?"

"I heard them." -Thrárin looked up at that and then pointed at the nets- "Can you unwavel this Durin?" His voice turned imploring.

"I am already un-r-aveling it. Where you present when dad and Urkar where talking or were you eavesdropping?" Durin continued seemingly disinterested.

"I was there at Urkar's home. It was really dirty." Thrárin scratched his nose.

Durin gazed at him and nodded. "Was there anyone else there?"

"Dwalin." Thrárin rejoined quickly.

Durin gave Rhianaye a guarded look. "You feel the need to keep dad's secrets. I understand you."

"Yes I do!" Thrárin rejoined firmly.

Durin caressed his hair gently. "You are such a good boy. Congratulations."

Thrárin's eyes opened wide and filled with pride when his big brother gave him praise. "Thanks!”

"Thorin Oakenshield’s son is one of the best secret keepers!" Durin smiled.

"Yes I am!" Thrárin was looking at his brother keenly.

Rhianaye was observing them silently trying to understand what Durin was doing.

Durin continued helping Thrárin with the nets. "Of course now that you are old enough to handle dad's secrets from _strangers_ " –he intoned those words- "you are also old enough to learn that such secrets may be dangerous to daddy."

Rhianaye frowned.

Thrárin looked up and his face filled with doubt. "Dangerous why?"

"I cannot know, because you didn't tell me what those secrets are all about." Durin replied calmly.

Thrárin began nibbling his bottom lip, much like his mother always did when she was nervous. "Why are they dangerous Durin?" His voice elevated.

"I don't know Shorty, I told you. You are such a good secret keeper though. No _stranger_ " –Durin intoned the word again- "can ever learn dad’s secrets. You are doing a very good job."

Thrárin began playing with his fingers. "Can daddy get hurt by them?" He splattered through his missing upper teeth.

"Maybe, I don't know. Just be careful to keep doing your job well, Shorty. Never let a _stranger_ " –another hard pitch of his voice at the word- "know dad's secrets, okay? I am sure he will knight you when he finds out how loyal you are to him. I am very proud of you."

Thrárin's eyes filled with dread. "You are not a stranger." He pointed at his brother.

Durin pretended to be shocked. "Me, a stranger? Of course not. I am your big brother. I am your family, like dad and mom."

Thrárin gazed at his sister fearfully. "She is family too."

Rhianaye smiled when she realized Durin's clever game. "Of course I am. I am your big sister. The one who bathes you and puts you to bed when mom and dad are busy, remember?"

Thrárin stared at his siblings for several moments before spluttering. "You are not strangers, so I can tell you the secrets."

Durin raised his brow knowingly at Rhianaye who smiled shrewdly. "You don't have to do that Shorty, but I appreciate the trust you are showing your _family_." He said nonchalantly.

Thrárin grabbed Durin's hands. "I want to tell them because daddy might be in danger. Will you help him if he is?"

Durin clasped his hands and squeezed them tight. "I'd never let dad or mom come to any harm. Actually I'd never let you or Rhianaye come to any harm either, on my words of honor. Remember that Shorty." That was the first moment that his voice sounded deeply sincere.

Rhianaye's face softened upon those words.

Thrárin nodded. "They spoke about Azalibiza and how master Urkar didn't protect great grandad and how he left and when he returned they were going to prison him and then dad told him that it was okay and Urkar cried, but then dad said he couldn't lie to mom anymore and Urkar begged him to give him time and not tell mom anything."

Durin looked at Rhianaye confused and then turned at his brother. "That's it?"

Thrárin nodded. "That's it. Is it dangerous for daddy?"

Durin settled back. "No Shorty. Dad's fine."

Thrárin seemed very relieved from those words and snuggled in Rhianaye's arms.

"What do you think those lies are that Urkar begs dad to keep from mom?" Rhianaye asked her brother, whom she was now seeing under a different light. The cunning way he handled their little brother showed that not only he owned Thorin's political abilities, but that he was also ruthless enough to use them at his own brother when needed. Something that spoke highly of his abilities in the future.

"I don't know, but this is between Urkar and dad, it concerns mom directly and Dwalin knows about it." Durin's voice was contemplative.

"What can that be?" Rhianaye mused.

Durin's brow creased. "Maybe we are thinking about it the wrong way."

"What do you mean?" Rhianaye frowned.

"Maybe we are not asking the right question." Durin's eyes thinned cleverly.

Rhianaye caressed Thrárin's hair as he pulled the nets over and began working on them again calmly, now that he was certain that his father was not in any danger.

"It is apparently something that Urkar wants to hide from mom and dad knows about it." Durin looked up.

"Like what? What can this man and mom have in common?" Rhianaye scowled.

"What is common?" Thrárin mumbled.

"Something that two people have that is similar or the same." Durin said.

"Their eyes are the same." Thrárin smiled from his nets.

The twins looked at him simultaneously for several tensely mute moments. "What did he just say?" Durin murmured.

"He said their eyes are the same." Rhianaye looked up.

"Same as Rhianaye’s eyes." Thrárin looked up at his sister with a toothless grin.

The color began draining from Rhianaye's face as she looked up at her twin.

Durin settled back heavily and his face clouded instantly. "That cannot be." He whispered.

Rhianaye shook her head. "He appeared out of nowhere, treated us like we were his children…"

"He saved me…" Durin intervened.

"And he has mom's eyes…" Rhianaye raised her brow.

"Or mom has his." Durin corrected.

Rhianaye grabbed Durin's hand. "Are we mad to even think about this?" She said feeling certain that -like always- she was sharing the same thoughts with her twin.

"Possibly." Durin swallowed hard.

Rhianaye shook her head angrily. "We are overthinking surely."

"Maybe." Durin murmured.

She twisted his forearm hard. "How can we make sure?"

"We are going to do what you hate the most." Durin raised his brow.

"What?"

"Eavesdrop dad and his best friend who also knows that damned secret and pray they talk about it." Durin pressed his lips.

Rhianaye sat back and her body deflated. She knew that Durin was right. He not only handled the interrogation of Thrárin perfectly, but his solution was the most reasonable one under the circumstances. Neither of them could question dad, Urkar or mom until they knew what all this was about….and if their far-fetched assumptions were true? What then? She decided to voice her thoughts. "What if he is who we think he is?" She said and eyed Thrárin careful not to utter any incriminating words.

Durin's mouth parted and this time it was his face that paled. "I have no bleeding idea." He stammered.

* * *

 

The blonde, tall, disheveled man with the crooked teeth and the sick looking skin pushed back his stout friend and grumbled. "Not now! Stand down you bloody fool."

A beastly looking, well-build, dark-haired man with clever eyes and a very stern countenance leaned back against the tree. "He’s right, there is no way to get past the outer perimeter. Draw back."

"Then why did you bring us here for in the first place Gareth?!" The stout dude spat and scratched his dirty neck, crashing a tick under his filthy broken nail.

The huge man who was built like a brick wall didn't reply. His eyes looked vehemently towards the Royal guards that were making their usual rounds at the outer perimeter of Hobbiton.

"He has become infatuated ever since we went to that tavern and the innkeeper told him what happened to that whore he claimed several years ago, Aoife. What stupid question was that?" The blonde man grinned and showed his rotten teeth with pride.

"Claimed? Oh you mean the bitch he raped…." Aoife rebuked and then burst into a manic laughter.

Gareth's hand came behind his back and grabbed Aoife by the throat. "You speak too much." He spat.

Aoife tried to loosen up Gareth's grip of steel and he spluttered random pain-induced vowels.

Japhet grabbed Gareth's shoulder. "Let him go!"

Gareth's eyes filled with a sickly, dark shadow as he pressed that neck even more.

"They are going to hear him choking and they are going to come after us. We are not well equipped to deal with the Royal Guards of Erebor. They are going to disembowel us and hang us upside at the entrance of Hobbiton as proof of what happens to anyone who approaches the King's family! Let him go!" Japhet hissed.

Gareth's mouth revealed his crooked teeth and he released his comrade who fell on the forest bed and began coughing.

Japhet knelt down and covered his mouth. "Shut up you idiot!" -He admonished and turned to see if the guards had noticed all this havoc. "Are you both that stupid?" He spat.

Gareth crossed his arms and leaned back against the tree again truly unaffected by what happened.

Japhet stood up and poked his shoulder. "We agreed to escort you just for the fun of it, but this is starting to become dangerous as hell. Especially with you acting all cocky when we are surrounded by so many soldiers!"

"You agreed to come when I promised you a piece of the Queen's firm ass…" Gareth smirked maliciously.

Japhet smoothed down his hair and shrugged. "That's a nice bonus, but not worth having a Dwarf force feed me my lower intestines!"

Aoife who in the meantime had stopped coughing, rubbed his hands together gleefully. "I'd nail that alright! She is one of the prettiest slappers I have ever seen." He grinned cruelly.

“Well that’s true. She ain’t too shabby.” Japhet scrounged his lips testily.

"Not too shabby? She is one of the most beautiful whores of Middle Earth. I remember every detail of her hot body. She had the firmest breasts, the tiniest waist, the longest and shiniest red hair… as for her ass….mmm" -Gareth shuddered and closed his eyes- "I still remember how warm it felt as I pounded in her and she squealed like a pig on slaughter. Now look at her. A fucking slut became the Queen of the North. I had her first. It was I who took her virginity not that Dwarf-scum. She was mine! I had her first, I will have her again and she will love it." Gareth splattered and caressed his grimy neck tormenting slow.

Japhet crossed his arms. "How about her eyes?”

Gareth looked back seemingly confused. “What?”

“Her eyes, what color were they?” Japhet licked his teeth.

Gareth’s face filled with hatred. “I don’t know.”

“Of course.” Japhet raised his hand.

“I don’t care about her bloody eyes. I care about the fact that she always belonged to me! She was my whore! She left the tavern without asking my permission, she got married and sprouted several bastards along the way, when all the time she was mine!” Gareth exploded.

“Did she know you had a deal with the innkeeper on her hind?” Japhet licked his upper lip and his clever eyes filled with malevolence.

“I told you many times no!” Gareth spat with hatred.

“Well, what did you expect her to do? Wait for you in that godforsaken place just because you paid the keeper a few petty pieces of silver for her young pussy? I cannot accuse her for wanting to escape. As for marrying and having kids….” -Japhet smiled cunningly towards Gareth- “I think that Dwarf-Scum didn’t have much of a competition from you. I don’t want to sound demeaning, but mate you have no hold on the King of the North, you know?”

Gareth made to move on him, but Japhet raised his hand.

“Careful….you brought me over because of my archery skills, which you lack thereof.” He warned.

Gareth pulled back, but he was positively fuming. “That bitch was mine from the moment I fucked her. I paid for her!”

“And you forgot her for many years until you learned what became of her. Let’s not mooch around the fact that her good fortune rubbed you the wrong way.” Japhet poked.

Gareth’s hands turned into tight fists. “She is mine, do you hear me?! She was always mine and I am going to get her back!”

“Without all her treasures or her kids?” -Japhet chuckled. That is when a knife cut the air in half and landed on the tree next to his head and made him jerk upright- “Fuck…” He murmured.

“I don’t care about her fucking brats nor about her prestigious husband. I don’t care about the treasures she owns or the power she thinks she has. The moment I throw her upon that wall and I fuck her unconscious she will remember who was her master all this time.” Gareth hissed.

“Now see…here I think enters the obsession." Japhet pulled the dagger from the tree and pursed his lips.

Gareth looked at him sharply and his eyes glimmered with a trace of madness that didn't leave Japhet unaffected. “I want to feel her blood sipping between my legs as I fuck the soul out of her….”

“And here enters the utter madness.” Japhet cringed.

Gareth raised his brow and cracked his knuckles. “Got an issue with that?”

"Nope, I can easily deal with your mental instability, as long as I am not killed by them" –He pointed at the hard looking guards- "and I can get my dick wet by the Queen's tight pussy and maybe strip her off some of her very expensive jewelry. A single ring from her can fix me and Aoife for life." He licked his chaffed lips.

Gareth settled back and looked at him coldly. "When I am done with her, you and that weasel over there can do what you want."

Aoife chuckled and stood up. Then he rubbed his plump belly. "Oh I cannot wait. Did you see her the other day at the fields? She's so tasty…" He slurred.

“I am warning you though, if I see the first kind of trouble I am leaving…raping Erebor’s Queen is not more important than the preservation of my life.” Japhet warned.

“You can go to hell for all I care.” Gareth spat.

“You need our help. You cannot do this alone.” Japhet sneakered.

Gareth pressed his lips and decided to ignore him. "We need to lure her away from the guards somehow. We will never be able to get through to her with such tight security and if she re-enters the lands of Erebor that’s it for me. My chances will be gone forever."

Japhet scratched his head. "And how do you propose that we do that?"

"We stalk her like we have been doing ever since they passed over the Misty Mountains and we wait for the right opportunity." Gareth rebuked dryly.

"Which might never come." Japhet wised and bit his finger-nail in order to clear it from the squished tick.

Gareth inhaled deeply. "It might not come, but if it does you can be sure that she will never see her family again. She is going to release her last breath and her last scream into my mouth. I was the one who defiled her the first time and I am going to be the one who will do it to her for the last time. I cannot wait for that…." He grumbled and a low roar arose from his chest.

Japhet and Aoife looked at each other and then shrugged as Gareth remained transfixed towards the end of the road that led to The Shire. He was so close to her and yet so far.

….so close to his fleshy possession and yet so far…

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Two steps from hell - Star Sky  
> If you wish to remember the pregnancy announcement you can re-read chapter 75 (Durin's Bane) of the original story. It is there. I will not write about it here again. Next chapter Thorin will know. This is the point where the two stories crossover.


	39. Fragile equipoise

 

* * *

_Thorin tried to understand where he was, but he was unable to. The area around him was neither a forest nor a building. It was both and neither at the same time. He could see the greyish outlines of trees at the edge of his eyesight, but whenever he turned there was nothing there but impenetrable darkness. From the other side of his peripheral sight he saw the outlines of a building that were too faded. Whenever he looked at it directly, it disappeared also. Those improbabilities didn't worry him too much though, neither did the fog that was engulfing him nor the silence that seemed to derive from his worst nightmares._

_What made his skin crawl was the sinking feeling when he realized that Eilin was in the dream with him. She was chained up against a pole several feet away from him. He couldn't see her face for it was void of any characteristics. She seemed more like a specter than a real person, but Thorin knew it was her without a shadow of doubt. It was her long reddish curls that abounded around her small waist and the blinding brightness that emanated from her whole figure that betrayed her identity. She was the only living being out there who glowed out with this vibrant orange hue. She was like a small, yet incredibly bright sun chained inside a dark, grey and decaying world._

_"Eilin." He hollered._

_The bright orange glow pulsated a few times in response._

_Thorin frowned and started walking over to her. This was a dream wasn't it? One of his famous blood curdling nightmares. He hadn't had one since he made a recovery from Dol Guldur's cowardly attack, so why was he seeing one now?_

_"Eilin is that you?" He yelled._

_Another pulsating wave from the light was directed to him._

_"I am coming! Wait!" Thorin's face settled in anger. He walked decisively up to her and he was only a few feet away when suddenly crashed upon something invisible that send him flying back. He cracked his eyes open with a wince and saw Eilin's brightness reflecting off the surface of the initially undetectable barrier. He pushed himself up with a curse and walked carefully with his hands extended. When he touched its surface his eyes were finally able to discern the outline of a glass divider that seemed to extend up to the sky and towards the sides as far as the eyes could see._

_He frowned and tightened his fists. Then he brought them angrily upon the hard surface with the intention of breaking it. His formidable punch resounded with a muffled thumb. "Eilin …"_

_The bright glow that was emanating from his wife's imprisoned body pulsated a few more times._

_"Can you talk to me?" He asked as he searched desperately for a way to dodge this obstacle._

_The glow didn't respond to him._

_Thorin frowned. "Can you hear me?"_

_A single glowing heart-beat was his answer._

_He closed his eyes in relief. "How did you get yourself trapped in there for Mahal's sake?"_

_This time a radiant throb came from Eilin's body._

_Thorin pursed his lips and pulled back. "Don't worry love, I will find a way to break through it."_

_Eilin's glow began thumbing really bright and hectically fast._

_Thorin scowled with determination, got prepared and charge at it with all his might. Knowing his own strength he felt more than certain that he'd be able to shatter through it, but that was not meant to be. He bounced off of it and fell down like a rag doll with a groan of annoyance._

_Eilin's light stopped pulsating and became dimmer._

_Thorin spat a curse under his breath and then looked at the glass that seemed totally unscathed. He pushed himself up feeling utterly furious at being unable to reach his trapped wife. "I will break it Eilin…wait."_

_Her brightness didn't respond._

_"I need to find something hard enough." He said and began looking around. He found several rocks and threw them upon it with all his might, but it was to no avail. At the end he was standing in front of the invisible barrier utterly furious and trying to catch his breath. That is when his eyes fell on a huge boulder that was twice his size. If this one didn't break the glass then nothing would. He positioned himself and wrapped his burly arms around it until he was able to find a good holding. Then he used his thighs to lift himself up together with the immense boulder. He walked heavily towards the glass and when he stopped his boot dag into the soft ground from the enormous weight he was carrying on him. The moment he launched the boulder a sudden surge of victory filled his chest, but when it bounced off with a loud thumb of defeat, Thorin's heart froze._

_Thorin took a step back and grabbed his temples. "Impossible." He murmured._

_Eilin's bright light glimmered a couple of times, drawing his attention. He came up to the glass and laid his palms against it. "Can you break the chains?!" He yelled._

_No flickering this time._

_"Can you try to move?" He insisted._

_No reply._

_Thorin leaned his forehead against the glass and tried to squeeze his mind in order to find a solution. Then he started pacing up and down like a caged lion, seething for what felt like eons without being closer to the answer than he was at the beginning. The more he paced, the more he felt his wrath boiling to the point of an explosion until finally he couldn't take this madness anymore and he fell once more upon the glass brutally. That is when his frustration send all his patience out of the window and he began a vicious assault upon that barrier with everything that he could find. He threw upon it, rocks, boulders, tree barks and in the end himself several times over until finally his pained body gave out. He emptied himself on the ground feeling disheartened._

_He cradled his head in his hands and closed his eyes trying not to look at his trapped wife. A low whine of anguish got released from his chest that he was unable to stop, but what made him frown after a few moments was the realization that his infernal whimper was joined by a similar one that was coming from the other side of the glass._

_He looked up sharply and his eyes thinned upon the chained figure of his beautiful wife. Her light was even dimmer than before, but that was not what made Thorin slowly stand up and approach the glass. Three shadows that had the shade of the blackest black were approaching Eilin from all directions at the same time. Thorin felt the hair on his nape standing on end and his daunting fist collided upon the barrier. "Stay away from her!" He yelled._

_Neither his wife nor those menacing looking shadowy vapors reacted to him. They kept approaching Eilin and the more they came closer the more her light diminished. Suddenly Thorin's stomach twisted in absolute agony. He somehow knew that they would engulf all her brightness if they touched her. They would make her light go out. They'd kill her…._

_His body came in sudden attention upon that thought and adrenaline rushed through his veins. "Stay away from her do you hear me!? STAY AWAY FROM HER!" He bellowed and began throwing himself upon the glass with more brutality than ever before. His aggressiveness when he realized how dangerous those three glooms were for Eilin became totally uncontrollable and the savagery he released upon that glass was truly unstoppable. "STOP! STAY AWAY FROM HER!" He thundered and his next kick created a small crack on the glass. That gave him courage and he began kicking it harder and harder._

_However his fierce attack was for naught. He was too late already and his heart froze when he saw the first shadow touching Eilin. A strong shudder rushed down his back that made him moan and his eyes filled with tears. Another kick and the crack spread a spider web across the glass, yet he was still too late. Always too late to get to her. "EILIN NO!" His monumental scream seemed to crack the glass even more, but the blackness was merciless and it engulfed his wife's light so easily that Thorin felt his heart stopping._

_His bloody fingers slid over the glass. "I am here Eilin! I am here!" He cried, but his voice wasn't enough for her. Her light was dying out, the glass wasn't completely broken yet and he was too far away to help her._

_…Too far away._

_"Eilin don't leave me…please no…" He whispered, in ruins._

* * *

 

"No…no….no…." He mumbled and stirred in his sleep.

"Are you alright honey?" Her voice intercepted the panic attack that was galloping quickly towards him and put a stop to it.

Awareness crashed upon him like a Mûmakil and he inhaled sharply. "NO!" He thundered.

"What's wrong?" Eilin was looking at him worried.

He opened his eyes and saw the gingery curtain of hair caressing the side of his face. He exhaled sharply and pushed his forehead on his pillow. "Oh, thank heavens…" He whispered.

A feathery touch landed on his temple. "Nightmares again my love?"

His hand came up and grasped her hair possessively. "You are fine…." He muttered.

"Why wouldn't I be honey?" She spoke softly and kissed his wrist.

Suddenly another thought assaulted him as he was not yet out of that nightmare's abusive hold. "Are you still pregnant?" He asked knowing he sounded stupid, but he needed to make sure that this dream was just his over-active imagination playing games and nothing more.

Eilin heard that question as absolutely adorable and smiled affectionately at him. "Of course. What do you think happened between the feast yesterday and this morning to stop my pregnancy?"

Thorin felt her mouth ghosting at the side of his lips and the first traces of relief rushed to soothe his body down. He forced himself to open his eyes and he saw her beautiful face floating above his. His hand came up to cup her cheek lovingly and he smiled. "I thought that maybe I dreamt the whole thing." He tried to downplay the nasty way he woke up with some humor.

"Why? Where you so intoxicated last night?" Eilin tucked some long ringlets behind his large ear.

"If the fact that I made love to you in the middle of the field a mere breath away from all the gathering isn't enough proof that I was close to wasted, then I don't know what will be." He chuckled.

She stroked the golden earring at the top of his ear. "Does that mean that all those beautiful words of love….all that happiness I saw on your face when you learned of my pregnancy were a result of your intoxication?"

He opened his eyes at that and scowled. "Are you seriously asking me this?"

Eilin shrugged. "Just want to make sure that you are still as blissful today as you seemed to be yesterday."

Thorin sat up abruptly and caught her hands. Then he pushed her back in bed and came over her. "I remember every single detail of our love making, but above all the utter wish I had for our fourth child to be a girl and be named Ida!" The more he woke up and the more he felt her soft presence under him the further away from that weird dream he seemed to drift and he was thankful for that.

Eilin's smile ended up in a slight cringe. "And I remember telling you how much I want it to be a boy and to be named Orin!"

Thorin's face clouded slowly. "I remember that one alright."

She opened her eyes with a frown. "Why did that sentence make your face fill with shadows my heart? It did so yesterday when I told you also."

He scowled down to her. "You are overthinking…"

"When I see your countenance become gloomy I feel uneasy." Her thumbs caressed his scarred palm.

He tapped her lips with a soft kiss that lingered. "You have my child in your loins…I am swimming with bliss my treasure. Please don't worry"

Eilin exhaled and her fingers found his nape. She remained silent. "Are you sure you didn't regret this pregnancy Thorin?"

"Come on, didn't I convince you about that one yesterday?" Thorin smiled at her proudly.

She closed her eyes and her mouth formed a relieved smile. "I need more reassurances."

"Fine…" –He growled and came down to pamper the side of her jawline with kisses- "I never regretted the twins, which came at very turbulent time in my life where everything was hanging by a thread. My sanity, my rulership and our relationship. They were the best gift anyone could have ever given me back then and they still are that for me to this day. I never regretted Thrárin which we captured down by the fire of my anvil just because I wanted to convince you that I was not afraid to become a father again. I don't regret the daughter we captured now because I knew from the start that it was dangerous to love you fully and I still did it."

Eilin chuckled but once again that laugh was shaded by a sudden wave of discomfort which slowly spread upon her features. "A daughter….I find that certainty in you adorable."

"All the children you gave me are my precious little gems. Remember that …" He whispered and his mouth trailed the soft skin on her neck, happy that he managed to avert Eilin's attention from the darkness that came over him when she mentioned that she wanted her child to have part of her father's name.

Eilin gritted her teeth and her hand twisted painfully in his hair. "Thorin no, wait." She gasped.

He knew instantly that was not her usual reaction to his erotic teasing and he drew back worried. "What's the matter?"

"My stomach." She cringed and closed her eyes.

Thorin pulled her up quickly already knowing where this was going. "Take a deep breath."

Eilin cupped her mouth and nodded. "Okay."

Thorin drew her in his arms and caressed her head. "Want me to bring you some water?"

Eilin drew several deep breaths trying to settle down the sudden wave of queasiness that overtook her. "No! Don't even mention water!" She warned him.

Thorin cringed. "Sorry."

It took several moments for Eilin to be able to talk once more. "See that is why I believe we have a boy again and this one is going to be ferocious."

Thorin tunneled his fingers through her hair and frowned. "Your upset stomach tells you that?"

"Remember how bad I was with the twins? I was puking in the middle of all your court and no one will convince me that wasn't Durin's fault. Is he tame and quiet?"

Thorin chuckled and hugged her tightly. "Oh, I see where this is going."

"Well is he?" She asked.

He kissed the top of her hair. "Nothing close to it and neither is Rhianaye."

"With Thrárin did I have any queasiness?" Eilin continued with a broken voice.

He laughed and shook his head. "Not a trace."

"And he was born a little angel. This time my nausea is even worse than ever, so whoever is in there he is a wild fighter!" Eilin rebuked.

"Women can be ferocious too." Thorin raised his brow.

"It's a boy and he is going to come out more unruly than Durin, mark my words. I have a mischief-maker in my belly again." Eilin sounded disheartened.

"Good! She will take after her father!" Thorin sounded smug.

Eilin got ready to return a teasing remark, but the nausea returned a thousand fold and she felt her stomach contracting and sending its contents up quickly. She covered her mouth, pushed him out of the way and dashed in the corridor a messy ball of clothes and gagging noises.

Thorin's shoulders deflated and he closed his eyes. "Here we go again…" he murmured. With the experience he already had with Eilin's pregnancies this time there was no fear or worry involved. He didn't have the ability to help her out in reality, only to be there for her as she rode down her sickness.

He stood up and walked out of their rooms. He could already hear Eilin puking in one of Bilbo's bathrooms when he met with his sister at the corridor.

"What's wrong with her? Is she sick?" Dis was looking concerned.

Thorin waved her away with a big yawn. "She's fine."

Dis followed him. "What do you mean fine? She's all over the place in there."

Thorin reached the bathroom. "I know."

"You don't seem concerned at all." Dis rebuked heavily.

"I am not." He returned and pushed the door open.

Eilin was kneeling over the toilet gagging. He inhaled deeply and knelt next to her. He drew her long hair away from her face and wrapped his heavy arm around her back. "I am here, take it all out."

Eilin waved him away and coughed. "That is what I am doing already!" She spat.

Thorin looked calmly at his sister. "Make her some cold tea. It will soothe her down."

Dis scratched her sideburns. "Did she eat anything that bothered her stomach? She's been like this for several days and it seems to be getting worse."

"I know, now go." Thorin dismissed her.

"How can you sound so nonchalant when your wife is so sick?" Dis shook her head.

Thorin pursed his lips and gave her such an austere look that Dis humphed and left. Then he sat next to her patiently waiting for her to calm down. When she finally felt empty enough, she settled back in his arms. "Sorry I yelled at you before. Now I feel better." His voice was soothing.

She grasped his forearm and nodded. "It's okay my treasure."

"I am sorry I did this to you again." He whispered.

Eilin snorted and looked up at him with her bloodshot eyes. "Stop apologizing for knocking me up you silly man."

Thorin exhaled roughly and kissed her sweaty brow. Then he pulled her on her feet and led her to the faucet where he started clearing her face. "Some tea will do you a world of good and then you are off to bed. I don't want you up and about while you are this mess."

"Okay…" Eilin muttered and felt relieved that he was there to take over for her.

"Mom are you alright?" It was the voice of Thrárin that made his parents look up.

Eilin broke away from Thorin's arms and swept the little prince up in hers. "Yes honey, why wouldn't I be?"

"You look sick." Thrárin frowned.

"She's pregnant." Durin interposed.

Thorin and Eilin looked at their oldest son like buffoons.

Eilin frowned. "Did you hear us just now?"

"Yeah, but I knew since yesterday." Durin shrugged and leaned back to the wall.

"How?" Eilin's eyes thinned.

"I don't know mom. Some things I just know them…." Durin seemed unfazed.

Eilin turned to her husband who shook his head. "Don't look at me. I didn't tell him anything. He is Durin the Seventh…" He said as if that was enough to explain the young boy's acuteness.

"Well I cannot deny that he is highly intuitive, much like you." Eilin noted.

Thorin felt his spine quivering with a few goosebumps when he remember the nasty feeling that dream left him with. He was certain it had to do with Eilin and she was in some kind of danger, but he didn't know from what. Was it maybe her pregnancy that would be endangered somehow? She said he was highly intuitive much like his son and he knew that was true. He had seen enough proof of that throughout his life, but right now he didn't want to ruin the happiness Eilin's pregnancy had brought to his heart with a stupid dream that he could hardly remember and that probably meant nothing. "Much like me…right…" He said feeling slightly annoyed at the thought.

Eilin caressed Thrárin's hair. "Actually I think you are more intuitive than Durin to be honest."

Thorin pursed his lips. "No need to rub that one in."

Eilin looked at him cautiously. "What's gotten into you?"

Thorin exhaled and threw his arm around her shoulder forcing himself to sound much less worried than he was. "Let's not ruin the mood by talking about stupid intuitions. Let's all enjoy the news, okay?"

Rhianaye run and embraced her mom. "Is your belly pregnant again mommy, really?"

Eilin smiled at her sweetly. "Yes honey."

"Maybe you have a little girl in here! If I get a little sister I can teach her so many things." Rhianaye looked wistfully at her mom's still flat stomach.

"She's got a boy and I am going to be the one to teach him most things." Durin rejoined coolly.

Thorin placed his hands on his belt. "You and not me?"

"Ah….me dad. That's pretty clear." Durin shrugged nonchalantly.

Eilin snorted. "Are you seriously having a fight with your son about who will be the best role model for the new baby?"

Thorin raised his brow. "I suppose I am."

Her smile was radiant. "That is probably the cutest thing I have seen in a long time."

Thorin rubbed his nose on her temple and closed his eyes. "To be honest I wouldn't mind Durin to be the role model to all our children. He's more than capable to do that."

That made Durin's stiff posture loosen up and his face quickly burst with pride. "Really dad?"

Thorin raised her hand, silently calling him over. "Was there any doubt that I find you worthy?"

Durin hurried to Thorin eagerly. "I don't know dad. I am not as strong as you." He murmured.

"No, you are undoubtedly stronger." Thorin looked at him smugly.

Durin squeezed him tightly. "I am?"

"You have limitless abilities both mentally and physically. If you also learn how to control the fiery spirit inside you that awakes whenever you are angry then I think you will be the perfect role model for your baby brother, or baby sister. The same I feel for both Rhianaye and little Thrárin." He pinched the red-headed prince's nose.

Thrárin clapped. "I will show her Mirkwood and all the animals in it!"

Rhianaye pointed at her brother. "He thinks it's a she too!"

"I think it's a he!" Durin raised his hand.

"And so am I!" Eilin laughed happily.

"I think it's a she! We are three to one. We win." Thorin raised his arm.

Eilin nudged his cheek with her forehead. "I don't know what I find more endearing from you today, but witnessing you get so excited about the possibility of having another daughter possibly beats everything else out of the water."

He kissed her cheek gently and caressed her hair. "The truth is that I don't care what gender the baby is. I only want it to be healthy."

"So am I." She closed her eyes.

They remained embraced for several moments with their eyes closed, as they were listening to the happy banter of their children who were debating about the gender of the baby. It was the solemn voice of Dis that pulled them out of that calm and loving moment. "What are you people talking about? She or he? What is that?"

Eilin looked at Thorin. "Will you tell her?"

"Tell me what?" Dis frowned.

"Mom is pregnant and she is going to have a girl!" Rhianaye chimed in enthusiastically.

Dis' mouth dropped open and the cup slipped from her hand and bounced upon the floor, spilling tea everywhere. "What?" she muttered.

"She's going to have a boy, right dad?" Durin looked up at his father.

Thorin was gazing sweetly at his sister. "Boy or girl it matters not. You are going to be an aunt again Gerbil."

It took Dis several moments to realize what she was being told, but when she did a squeal left her mouth and she hurried up to enclose all of them in her arms.

"Oh my wonderful heavens, thank you for blessing our family in this manner. If it's a boy can we please call him Kili?" Dis beamed up to her brother excitedly.

That sentence made Thorin's heart come to a screeching halt and Eilin's countenance to plunge. She reached out and caressed Dis' elaborate braids. "My lovely…" She whispered sadly.

"Can we?" Dis looked up at the Queen keenly.

Eilin felt her chest welling and she grabbed Thorin for support. "It would have been a great honor, but I wish to call him Orin….from the name of my father and Thorin." Her voice was diminished.

Thorin's brows creased with worry as he observed the brow of his sister slowly cloud. "I am sorry Gerbil…." He muttered without knowing what else to say.

It took her a few moments to erase the bitterness from her features and smile. "Oh, don't mind me. That was just a silly request."

Eilin grasped Thorin's hand tightly. "Can we give him two names?"

"Our people don't do that my dove." He pressed his lips regretfully.

Eilin pulled Dis in her arms and kissed her forehead. Then her lips turned down.

"But if it is a boy we can give him Kili as his inner name." Thorin's face formed a trace of playfulness.

Both Dis and Eilin looked up. "Really?" the Queen said.

Thorin nodded. "Would that do Gerbil?"

Dis cupped her mouth and she began trembling from head to toes. She was unable to utter a single word and when Thorin saw her knees unbuckling he drew her in and kept her close to his heart along with his wife.

"Oh may the heavens bless you my brother. Thank you…" Her whisper was broken and tears surged from her eyes, staining her cheeks with salty rivulets.

"I love you all so much." He murmured and kissed Eilin and Dis on their foreheads.

It took Dis a long time to settle down, but when she did her comeback was rather fiery and truly unexpected. "Don't you dare worry your wife about anything now that she is pregnant do you hear me?!" She yelled.

Thorin was taken aback. "Why would I do that?"

She pointed a finger at him. "You know very well what I am saying. Don't you make her sad or angry now that she is pregnant! Do you understand?!"

Thorin's lips curled up as he was admittedly amused by his sister's unpredictable moods. "Of course I won't."

Then Dis turned to Eilin who was looking at her bewildered. "If he dares hurt you, make you angry, sad or simply annoy you…come to me and I will straighten him out. Okay?"

Eilin smiled brightly and kissed Dis' cheek. "I know you love me…and I love you too."

Dis' face settled as she grabbed Eilin's hands. "I love you like a sister. Remember that."

Eilin felt her chest welling. "Me too…"

"If he does anything that pisses you off… you come to me!" Dis scowled and then threw Thorin a stern look just for good measure.

Eilin giggled happily. "I will."

Thorin humphed and picked up his wife in his arms. "Enough silliness Dis. I'd never do anything to hurt her."

Dis' claws got buried in his forearm. He turned and when their eyes engaged they spoke volumes to each other. Suddenly he understood that Dis was not speaking nonsense. She was actually warning him not to mess up with Othin. His countenance broke and he embraced Eilin as she leaned her head on his chest happily oblivious of the silent tension between the siblings. Dis withdrew her hand and forced herself to smile. "Take her to the bedroom. She needs to rest. I will make some more tea and I will inform the others. Tonight my lovelies…we celebrate!" She exclaimed and the children began clapping happily.

As Thorin walked back to the bedroom his lips ghosted Eilin's temple and he knew that he was carrying his wife and his unborn child, but also the burden of her father's identity. He remembered Dis' waring and felt a sudden rush of guilt shrouding over the giddy happiness of Eilin's pregnancy. These amazing news were stained by the breaking of his oath to his beautiful wife, but also from that unnerving dream that woke him up this morning. There was something unidentifiable lingering at the edge of his senses, making him highly nervous. As he closed the door to their bedroom he heard the exclamations of happiness that came from Bilbo's living room and he knew that he'd have to hide both the heavy guilt, but also the vague anxiety from his friends and family tonight.

* * *

 

"My Lord!" Another slap on his shoulder and Thorin had to turn around and face the next person who was congratulating him on becoming a father for the fourth time. On any other circumstances he would have been flying over the moon, yet right now he felt compelled to turn around and leave the feast that Bilbo arranged in his garden with the intention of getting on his horse and checking the perimeters of Hobbiton himself.

His guilt ridden mind, encumbered even further by the lingering nightmare of this morning was unable to allow him to calm down and join in the festivities. He forced himself to smile, looked down at the Hobbit whose name he didn't know and raised his cup in a salute.

"Congratulations!" The Hobbit yelled and it was rather obvious by the redness of his nose that he was highly intoxicated.

Thorin's eyes caught Eilin surrounded by Dis, Bella and several other ladies, laughing light-heartedly. She didn't seem bothered by any nausea nor concerned about the shadows that lingered around Thorin's features. "Thank you." He muttered and tried to locate Durin who was the only one of his children that was missing from the feast.

"Are you nervous?" Ferumbras the third clasped his shoulder from the other side and span him around.

Thorin exhaled bothered and another half-hearted smile formed on his lips. "No Mayor."

"See what experience does to a man Otho? You are quivering in your boots for your first child and this man is totally unfazed about his fourth. Here, here!" He yelled and everyone turned around to salute the King.

Thorin reciprocated with kindness and exchanged a warm gaze with his wife before turning his attention to Dwalin. "Thank you for your wishes, but I need to have a word with my bodyguard." He said and walked away quickly.

Ferumbas looked at the King proudly and placed his hands on his waist. "There goes a fine man."

Otho joined him. "Indeed, but was there a need to reveal to him my insecurities?"

Ferumbas looked at Otho dismissively. "Why would I hide what is plainly obvious to all?"

Otho's face mounted color. "What started as a misunderstanding, might end up in a full blown argument…. AGAIN! Be careful!" He warned.

"I am not scared of you…" The Mayor waved him away.

"Don't you dare turn your back to me!" Otho grumbled and swung him around.

"Can you two stop? We have all had enough of your arguments!" Hamfast thundered.

Thorin looked above his shoulder at the dispute disinterested and then walked up to Dwalin. "I need you." His tone of voice had a shade of urgency that wasn't lost to his childhood friend.

Dwalin engaged Thorin's elbow and walked away with him. "What's up?"

Thorin remained silent until he led Dwalin to the valley that Rhianaye practiced training the other day. There he stopped, closed his eyes and sighed deeply.

"Hey what's the matter?" Dwalin seemed worried.

Thorin shook his head.

"Did all that commotion get to you?" Dwalin raised his brow.

Thorin opened his eyes and there was newfound determination in them. "I want you to reinforce the security of the perimeter."

Dwalin scratched his beard. "It is already reinforced, we have no extra men."

"Then make them do tighter shifts!" Thorin roared.

That made Dwalin have a double take. "Wait a moment…"

Thorin raised his finger and closed his eyes. "Do what I told you."

Dwalin crossed his arms. "I will."

Thorin nodded and pressed his lips.

Dwalin sighed and looked at the lake that was glimmering from the small lanterns that were alight in every single yard of Hobbiton this beautiful night. "So that's it?"

Thorin glared at him.

"You dragged me away from a feast that is meant to celebrate the coming of the fourth heir to the Throne of Erebor in order to tell me about reinforcing the perimeter?" Dwalin's brow arched critically.

Thorin's mouth formed a straight line of disapproval.

"Should I add that you look like a bloody ghost when you should have been in cloud number nine right now?" Dwalin continued.

Thorin humphed and looked away.

Dwalin nodded and sat down heavily, but didn't say a word.

Thorin looked at him angrily. "What are you doing?"

Dwalin patted the grassy patch next to him. "Waiting for you to take a seat."

"Who told you I will?" The hard rebuke.

"The fact that you haven't left yet." Dwalin returned calmly.

Thorin fumed, but he had to admit that his friend knew him rather well. Indeed he didn't want to return to the feast and even though he was reluctant to get into any kind of conversation with his rather acute bodyguard he didn't make a move to leave.

Dwalin pressed his lips. "You are still here despite what I said, so this must be damned serious."

Thorin looked around them and his eyes thinned towards a tree cluster not so far behind them. A sudden urge to check it came over him.

"Nobody is in there you bloody asshole. What's wrong with you? Everyone is at the feast having a nice time, celebrating the coming of your fourth child…and you should have been doing the same thing. Instead you are out here alone with me looking definitely paranoid." Dwalin looked at him carefully.

Thorin exhaled roughly. "You are pissing me off."

Dwalin tapped the spot next to him once more. "Sit down you corroded fossil."

Thorin didn't move.

Dwalin grabbed his hand and pulled him down hard. "Sit!" he commanded.

Thorin's glare was furious. "I am going to beat you up unrecognizable, I swear to Mahal…" He snarled.

"Before you do that, speak." Dwalin crossed his arms above his knees and turned his eyes towards the calm lake.

Thorin huffed angrily and looked away. "I have nothing to tell you."

"I think you have a lot to tell me and most of them, if not all, have to do with Othin, else known as Urkar…or if we wanna have some fun we can also call him your father-in-law." Dwalin looked at him intensely.

"Enough!" Thorin barked.

Dwalin nodded. "We found the source of your troubles." He replied calmly.

Thorin's burning eyes were sending spears of malice towards his best friend's profile, yet Dwalin didn't turn to engage him.

He simply smiled and pointed at the lake. "Look at this serene place. A true heaven on earth. You came here to calm down from everything that happened in Erebor and the Elven Realm. You find out that you have another child on the way to enhance your already beautiful family. You should have been surging with bliss. Euphoria should have been your middle name, yet here you are looking constipated as hell."

Thorin's nose flared.

"Stop glaring at me as if you are ready to slit my throat open. That's never going to happen, because I will bash your head in before you draw your dagger." Dwalin's lips curled up spiritedly.

"You are in the mood for games and I am not." Thorin puffed, but he averted his eyes feeling partially defeated by the offhand way that his friend was handling him.

"I can see you are in a bad mood, now care to tell me what caused it?" Dwalin gazed at him steadily.

Thorin's eyes burnt.

"Is this about Othin?" Dwalin insisted.

The nod from Thorin was almost imperceptible, but Dwalin saw it.

"I knew it." Dwalin pursed his lips.

Thorin didn't reply.

Dwalin rubbed his nape uneasily and winced. "Dis told me you had a long talk and that you were absolutely adamant in not revealing Othin's identity to Eilin. I told her you had been decided on that even before leaving Erebor."

"You are both fools." Thorin whispered.

"Why?" That made Dwalin's certainty dither.

"I came to The Shire without knowing what I was going to do with Othin." Thorin's voice was coarse.

"Even though you promised not to intervene back at the Mountain?" Dwalin frowned.

"I made two oaths that clash against each other. In the end it was just a matter of which oath I was going to break….for I cannot keep them both. I was undecided even though I told Othin that his secret was safe. That was the reason that I made him re-create his unique signature before I left…" Thorin murmured feeling traces of apprehension licking up his spine.

"The same signature that was at the back of Eilin's baby belt?" Dwalin brow clouded.

"Yes."

Dwalin's eyes thinned. "Did he do it?"

Thorin pursed his lips and looked at his friend long and hard before digging in the pocket of his vest and taking out a scroll. His fingers tightened around it possessively but he forced himself to give it to Dwalin.

His friend unrolled it and looked at the unique alteration of Telchar's original runes. "Why in the name of heaven are you carrying this on you, you bloody idiot? If Eilin sees it she will demand answers!"

Thorin grabbed it out of Dwalin's hands and rolled it back up. "I brought it over as proof in case I decided to tell her the truth."

Dwalin cupped his forehead. "For fuck's sake."

"You have no idea how close I came the other day. It was in my pocket Dwalin. I was ready to tell her everything. I was ready to break her, but my heart was not strong enough to do it.…." Thorin cupped his face and closed his eyes.

"Lock it up somewhere unless you want her to discover it by mistake then. Don't tell me you keep it in your vest pocket all the time, you brainless troll." Dwalin cringed at him.

Thorin shook his head. "It is locked in Balin's chest, lost amidst his endless supply of documents."

"Why did you take it out today then?" Dwalin looked at him carefully.

"I intended to burn it….to forget about it until Othin is ready to make his move." Thorin's lips turned down.

Dwalin nodded thoughtfully. "I don't see it burned."

Thorin glowered at him.

Dwalin grasped his shoulder and squeezed. "Lock it in my brother's chest, wipe the misery out of your face and come back to the feast to embrace your wife and show her how happy you are of the new member of your family…please."

Thorin exhaled roughly. "How can I be happy when the well-being of my family is hanging by a damned thread right now?"

"You grit your teeth and act the part then!" Dwalin rebuked.

Thorin pressed his lips. "Please Dwalin make a round of the perimeter to check if everything is okay tonight."

Dwalin's brow creased. "That part of your paranoia has nothing to do with Othin, right?"

Thorin pressed Dwalin's hand briefly and then stood up. He hid the scroll and straightened his hair. Then he looked at the darkness that surrounded the village. "No…" He murmured and without any more explanations he walked back to the feast to find Eilin and act the part like Dwalin advised him.

* * *

 

Durin sat back feeling dumbfounded after hearing every single thing that his father and Lord Dwalin told each other. So master Urkar was their grandad. His mouth formed a smile that he couldn't control and neither did he want to hide. He knew that all this burdened his father and understood his mom would have a very hard time accepting the news, but for him and his siblings it was different. They had nothing against Ukrar, Othin or whatever else his name was. They liked him a lot….all of them…so learning that he was their grandad filled him with unbelievable happiness. His young heart had many conflicting emotions on how to handle this, however the ancient spirit residing in his soul had already formed a solemn decision.

Durin turned around intending to find Rhianaye and tell her everything he learned when suddenly he fell face first upon Lis. "What the hell Lis?!" He hissed.

Lis placed her finger on her mouth. "Hush my Lord…."

Durin looked back and saw Dwalin walking away from the field slowly. "He cannot hear us. What are you doing here?" He repeated.

"Followed you just to make sure you weren't going to sneak out." Lis pressed her lips and looked away slightly embarrassed.

"Rhianaye put you up to this?" Durin glared.

Lis didn't answer.

"I won't sneak out to go to Rivendell you fools!" Durin spat dismissively. The ancient spirit inside him had not only taken over every decision concerning Othin, his mom and his dad, but also this conversation apparently, because the assertiveness that came out of him that moment was more intense than usual.

Lis sensed that sudden shift in the way he was addressing her and buttoned up. "I am your bodyguard and sworn to protect you."

He waved her away. "Not in here you aren't! We are protected enough already."

Lis averted her eyes respectfully.

"How long have you been here?"

Lis bit her lower lip. "Long enough Sir."

"You heard everything?" Durin's face blanched.

"Yes." Lis' voice was diminished.

Durin exhaled in annoyance and stood up. "Rhianaye really messed up this time…." He muttered under his breath.

Lis stood up also. "She only asked me to keep an eye on you. She didn't know that I was going to accidentally overhear the King's private conversations."

"Silence! Don't excuse her and don't excuse yourself either! What you heard here tonight is very serious!" Durin rebuked heatedly. He felt almost unable to contain the cruel way he was responding to her at this moment.

Lis took a step backwards and felt her hands numbing down. "I am sorry Sir that was not my intention."

Durin came over and grabbed her by the lapels. "Tell me then how is it possible for me to erase what you heard from your mind?"

Lis' looked him straight in the eyes feeling nervously hesitant. "There isn't such a way." She muttered, trembling.

Durin's vivid blue eyes burned through hers with an intensity that made her ready to yell that she couldn't take it anymore, when he released her and stepped back. He grabbed his temples and walked to the edge of the tree cluster silently.

Lis crossed her hands and followed him carefully. "If it means anything to you Sir….master Urkar….Othin…I like him."

He looked back at her sharply and his eyes had that unnerving quality that made even Thorin's highest Lords quiver.

Lis forced herself not to run away from his intense scrutiny. "I like your grandfather Sir. He seems like a good man."

Durin huffed and looked away.

Lis allowed him a few moments. "It was not my intention to learn, but now that I know I have to tell you that you are so lucky."

Durin gazed at her side-ways and then sat down.

Lis mimicked him and crossed her arms above her knees. "You really have no idea how lucky you are…." She insisted.

Durin pressed his lips and looked at her annoyed. "Lucky that I know such a heavy secret? You have no idea how stubborn my mom can get when she is pissed off. She can easily wipe my dad off the map for this."

Lis looked at him. "I understand…"

Durin nodded. "Then don't say I am lucky."

"You are not lucky to be forced to carry this secret now along with your father, but you are lucky to have such a beautiful family Sir." Lis said quietly.

Durin's brow weaved in confusion.

Lis shrugged and propped her chin on her knees. "You have a mom and a dad who love you….but above all they are both alive. Two siblings who adore you and a grandfather whose company you seem to enjoy so much."

Durin exhaled and twisted his finger around the hem of his sleeve. "Three siblings…." He corrected.

Lis smiled. "Three….that's right."

Durin's lips turned down. "I am sorry for talking to you so angrily before."

Lis tilted her head. "It's okay. I have to get used to your sudden mood changes and adapt to them if I am to become your bodyguard, right?"

Durin nodded and his mouth formed a small smile. "Indeed you do, but I promise to make it easier for you in the future. I swore to my father that I will learn how to control the anger that sometimes feels like it is burning my head. It isn't easy."

Lis reached out and tapped his hand. "I know Sir."

"I will learn how to control myself in the end." Durin frowned with determination.

Lis was looking at him almost entranced. "I am sure you will."

"I am sorry about your dad…." He said after a momentary pause.

Lis felt her heart dropping. "Always appreciate what you have Sir, because you don't know when you are going to lose it."

Durin felt his stomach twisting painfully. "I know."

Lis allowed several moments of silence between them before speaking again. "What are you going to do about what we heard today Sir?"

Durin stippled his fingers above his knees and frowned. "For once in my life I will pretend like I didn't hear anything."

Lis' brow creased and a guarded smile formed on her mouth. "You will?"

"And so will you." –Durin turned to her seriously- "Neither of us will say anything about Othin to mom. Is that clear?" The warning was intense in his voice.

Lis lost her smile and felt her stomach pulling with a new wave of anxiety. "Yes Sir."

Durin nodded and looked away. "This is beyond my abilities and yours. Dad will handle it when the time comes…I hope. I trust he knows how to do it."

"How about master Othin? Do you trust him?" Lis asked carefully.

Durin hesitated. "I trust that he doesn't wish any ill harm to my family, but I don't know if he is capable of telling the truth to mom without hurting her."

Lis' eyes filled with sorrow. "I don't think anybody will be able to do such a thing. Not even your dad."

Durin gazed at her gravely. "I know."

Lis looked at her knees thoughtfully and nodded.

"So did you really follow me because you were afraid I was going to sneak out?" The next time he spoke his voice was much calmer.

Lis inhaled sharply. "Yes. We were both afraid, Lady Rhianaye and I."

Durin snorted. "I could have done it had we been closer to Rivendell, but not while we are in Hobbiton. I mean put your heads together and think! If I sneaked out tonight, it would take dad a mere breathe to find out that I am missing. He'd be on my tail before I'd even manage a dent on the distance between this place and Rivendell."

Lis lifted her hand. "Don't do it Sir. It is not worth risking your life for that Elfling."

Durin's face fell at that. "I probably won't do it, but can you and my sister stop speaking in such a demeaning manner about Celebriel?"

Lis drew back at that and the dissapointment was clear in her features. "I am sorry Sir. I didn't mean it."

"She is my friend." Durin added heavily.

Lis closed her eyes. "I know."

He pressed his lips in annoyance. "If I want to see her I will find a way to get away from you and Rhianaye, you know that right?"

Lis looked at him furiously. "So is it that important for you to see her?"

Durin tilted his head. "I told you she is my friend."

"And I am not?" Lis asked suddenly and the tension was clear in her voice.

Durin looked at her with a frown of confusion. "Of course you are."

"I don't see you sneaking out in order to come find me though!" Lis snapped and stood up.

Durin's scowl became deeper. "You are right here, next to me…you are following me wherever I go…."

"That is beside the point!" Lis pointed at him.

Durin's mouth dropped open and he found himself at a loss for words.

Lis humphed dismissively and then marched off.

He remained bemused gazing at her and his young heart at that moment was honestly unable to understand what took over her. To be quite truthful the ancient spirit inside him didn't have any answers about that one either.


	40. Storm the sorrow

 

* * *

(A week later)

_He walked for long….for eons maybe amidst the many-colored crystal lamps and the shadowy but vast stonework that now stood silent and dark. He sauntered for ages down at Nud-Melek past the great chasm above the bridge of Khazad-dûm until he found the entrance which led to the ornate stairways that were carved by the most exceptional stone-masons of his kin. When he finally came across the grandiose entryway to the Zelem-Melek he found his Halls once more and stood bewildered and so insignificantly small inside a place that held so much history and took up so much love inside his youthful heart._

_"Your heart may be youthful, but your soul is primeval. It belongs in these Halls." A solemnly deep voice reminded him._

_The Great Halls of Durin stood eerily quiet, staggeringly large and buried under the merciless weight of time. He saw his Throne standing proudly at the landing of another set of golden stairs and felt the hair on his nape and forearms standing in attention. So many centuries had passed since he last saw this place and even now it felt otherworldly….somehow unreal._

_As for him…_

_He was sitting on that legendary Throne…the great Durin the Deathless himself. Grandiose beyond words…far above anything this young boy had ever imagined, or remembered. His robes were made of black velvet, sawn with golden threads. His tunic was of black silk with silver embellishments and his boots were of the most exceptional fur._

_The young boy climbed the staircase surprisingly unafraid and as he walked he admired the King's majestic countenance that was beyond the imagination of a commoner. Two braids of jet-black hair adorned the back of his head that reached down to his waist. Two smaller warrior braids framed his proud forehead and his arched thick brows. High cheekbones that gave his countenance a regal appearance were under his penetrative eyes that had the hue of the bluest skies. A thick beard adorned his strong jawline, framing his beautiful lips and golden two golden ear-rings were the only jewelry that embellished his appearance apart from the diamond bead that held his thick beard together._

_The young boy stood in front of his King in mute admiration for several moments. When the King stood up it felt as if the very bowels of the mountain sang in unison and the earth rumbled under the young boy's feet. When he lifted his eyes to the King who stretched to his full height the boy felt that he was standing in front of one of the giant statues of their old forefathers and his knees unlocked and he knelt down heavily unable to take his eyes away from his Majesty …._

_"You come here every time seeking the past…" The King's voice was so deep it seemed to derive from the very stones of the Mountain._

_The boy nodded. "Yes."_

_"You are afraid…"_

_"Very..." The boy rejoined._

_The King looked at him expressionless. "The past and the present are clashing inside your heart and that confuses you. Your confusion summons fear."_

_"And anger…I am always angry." The boy frowned._

_"That happens because you are yet unwilling to accept your past." The King returned._

_"I always have these dreams, I always know things people wiser than me don't know and half the times I don't understand what they mean. I am always questioned and I have no answers for them. I am too young to be this confused Sir and I hate that!" The boy rebuked and there was an undertone of fury in his voice._

_"You are becoming angry again." The King noticed._

_"I just want to play with my friends and dive in the rivers and ride horses Sir. I don't want anything else."_

_The King's well-formed lips curled up. "But that is not your destiny."_

_The boy's eyes welled._

_"You were born a King, the son of a King and the father of many Kings. You were meant to sit in this throne." The King touched his throne._

_The boy scowled. "What if I don't want to?"_

_"You don't have such a choice in front of you. Your destiny is predetermined son. You returned in order to reclaim that which was taken from us." The King raised his brow imposingly._

_"I just want to play like my siblings, nothing more…" The boy rebuked angrily._

_"Your wishes are now excused as you are still young, but remember you will grow up to become me." The King tilted his head._

_"I will be you when I grow older?" The boy asked bewildered._

_The King smiled. "We are one."_

_"So you are the one who is confusing me! How can I know where I stop and you start? Sometimes I scare people centuries older than me and that terrifies me! Sometimes I speak with words the Elders of our race cannot understand and that freaks me out! Stop confusing me! I just want to be a kid like my sister and my brother!" The boy tightened his fists angrily._

_"You cannot be that which you are not. I know that you fear, but you have wise guidance next to you. Use it." The King replied patiently._

_"You think I am you and everyone around me thinks that too!" the young boy said._

_The King inclined his head._

_"Well, I am not…." The boy resumed._

_The King looked mildly perplexed._

_"I may have part of you inside me, but I am not you." The boy retorted._

_The King drew up to his full height, but didn't speak._

_"I am me and that part shall prevail!" The boy said with admirable determination._

_The King's mouth formed a ghostly smile. "That is exactly what I wanted to hear…"_

* * *

 

Durin opened his eyes and winced. Their room was lit by a small lantern that mom always placed next to Thrárin's bed in order to stop the monsters that wanted to crawl from under his bed at night. He stretched his ears… the whole house was fast asleep as was the calm village around them. A few crickets were the only ones singing in the dead of night.

He settled back in bed and crossed his hands above his stomach. Then he looked out of the window that was next to his pillow and saw the countless stars in the sky. It was rather easy for him to forget these dreams because he was used to them, but it was not always so easy to fall asleep again. However he closed his eyes determined to do it, when a soft voice made him reopen them.

"Durin, you awake?" Thrárin whispered.

"Nah, not really." Durin yawned.

Thrárin shifted in his bed, stood up and then shuffled quickly to his brother's bed. He climbed on it and snuggled next to him. "Can I sleep with you?"

Durin frowned. "Do I have a choice?"

"No." Thrárin giggled.

Durin pushed him. "Go away Shorty."

Thrárin came even closer. "I don't want to go back there."

"Why?"

"There are monsters under my bed." Thrárin's voice had an intense tone of fear.

"Mom put the lamp to keep them away." Durin rebuked.

"They got used to it!" Thrárin's reasoning was unbeatable.

"Monsters don't hide under beds Shorty, they walk amongst us." Durin murmured thoughtfully.

"What?" Thrárin frowned.

Durin winced and rubbed his forehead annoyed. "I know you won't believe me, but the one who said that was not me."

"Who did then?" Thrárin whispered.

Durin shook his head. "A ghost."

"Is he talking to me now too?" Thrárin frowned.

"No, I am talking to you now." Durin raised his brows.

"I am confused." Thrárin murmured.

"I am more confused than you." Durin shook his head.

Thrárin hugged his brother. "Does that make you feel better?"

"Yes Shorty, thank you." Durin smiled.

Thrarin closed his eyes contently.

"What do you think your bed monster looks like?" Durin asked.

"He is small, hairy, has two big fangs and the rest of his teeth are snails, he has buttons for claws and a banana for a tail." Thrárin said in awe.

"And that is scary?" Durin snorted.

"It's not?"

"That's a funny looking monster. I'd befriend him if I were you."

"And feed him?" Thrárin frowned.

"Yeah."

"What do you think he eats?" Thrárin asked eagerly.

"Sweet potatoes with corn and if you feed him enough he won't bother you at night. He just wants to be your friend." Durin smiled.

Thrárin smiled. "I will feed him tomorrow, but can I sleep in your bed tonight?"

"Why not Rhianaye's bed?" Durin scowled.

"She cannot scare away my monsters. Only you and mom can. Not even dad." Thrárin whispered in a conspiring way.

"Okay then. Sleep here." Durin settled back and closed his eyes.

After a few moments Thrárin spoke in a hushed tone again. "Do you have a bed monster?"

"Yes."

"What does it look like?" Thrárin opened his eyes and looked at his brother.

"Me." -Durin patter his hair- "Now sleep Shorty."

Thrárin pressed his lips confused, but settled next to his brother and soon he was snoring. Sleeping though didn't come as easily for Durin. After tossing and turning he finally gave up and got out of the bed careful not to wake his siblings. Then he took his boots and closed the door quietly behind him. The visit to one of Uncle Bilbo's bathrooms was undisturbed, but when he walked out fully dressed he came face to face with his father and uncle Dwalin.

He stood frozen with his hand on the door handle looking at his father like a buffoon.

"Why aren't you asleep?" Thorin frowned.

"I woke up and couldn't sleep again." Durin's body deflated.

"Nightmares?" Thorin sounded worried.

"I don't remember." Durin didn't lie. He had already forgotten half if not all the dream.

"So what are you doing here fully dressed?" Dwalin intervened.

"Wanted to go by the lake and sit out there for a while. Maybe fall asleep under a tree. I like that Uncle." Durin shrugged.

"If mom finds out you are sneaking out during the night she is going to kill you." Thorin raised his brow.

"I know." Durin cringed.

"And if she learns I didn't tell you to go back to bed she is going to kill me." Thorin continued unfazed.

Durin snorted. "I know."

"Don't laugh you little troll." Thorin raised his finger, but his mouth had a lopsided smile.

Durin giggled.

"Hush!" Thorin hissed.

Durin covered his mouth and tried to stop the uncontrollable laughter that bubbled in his belly.

"Look at him turning all red in the face." Dwalin laughed and Thorin smiled widely.

"So why are you guys awake?" Durin asked when he calmed down.

"We are about to do a routine check of the perimeter." Thorin said nonchalantly.

"You couldn't sleep either?" Durin came closer.

"No." Thorin's countenance fell.

"Having nightmares too dad?" Durin asked cleverly.

"Too? I thought you said you didn't remember having nightmares." Thorin rebuked acutely.

Durin pulled back and cringed. "Come on, you know what I mean."

"No nightmares tonight son. I just couldn't sleep." Thorin said calmly.

"Neither could I." Durin rejoined.

"I was able to sleep, but this gnome woke me up…if my plight means anything to either of you." Dwalin intervened.

Thorin glared at his friend and opened the door.

Durin rushed after him and grasped his forearm. "Hey, can I come with you guys?"

Thorin looked taken aback and exchanged a guarded look with Dwalin. "You want to patrol with us?"

"Sure!" Durin seemed keen to follow them.

"Can't hurt having the boy over. He needs to learn these things and I don't see him closer to sleep than you are." Dwalin shrugged.

Thorin huffed. "If your mom finds out she is going to excommunicate us."

"I won't tell." Durin smiled.

"I won't either." Dwalin rejoined.

Thorin gazed at his son intensely for a few moments and then smiled. "Alright, pick a horse and let's go."

Durin felt his heart elating and he was the first one out of the door and into the barn.

Even though he was initially happy to get out of the house, the rounds that he did next to his father and Dwalin turned out to be boring and made him very sleepy rather quickly, but telling his dad would have been stupid. He was the one who asked to come along for the ride and telling them mid-way that he was bored was not something Thorin would have appreciated. Therefore despite his fatigue he followed closely, trying not to yawn too much when the guards saluted them respectfully or when Dwalin was giving him instructions on what to ask them in any future patrols and what suspicious activities to look for in the dark woods. His father was impressively silent through the whole endeavor, but Durin didn't think too much of that since Thorin was usually commandingly distant when he was in front of his soldiers.

Durin stifled another yawn and then looked up at the myriads of stars that glimmered at the sky. Surely there must be something more interesting taking place than a dark forest being quietly bothersome for his father to patrol in person. He never did that in Erebor so why would he do it in Hobbiton? He decided to voice that thought.

"Dad?"

Thorin turned to him, but his piercing gaze was still examining the borders of the forest. "What?"

"Is that all?" Durin's face twisted in clear dissapointment.

"What do you mean?" Thorin was taken aback.

"I mean did we come out here to check on nothing?" Durin pointed around him.

Thorin's lips curled up knowingly.

Dwalin sighed. "Boy is getting bored and from the redness in his eyes, also tired."

"You wanted to join in and therefore you shall remain to the end of it. Did you think all patrols have some kind of an adventure in them?" Thorin's expressive brow arched.

Durin cringed. "I was hoping this one would, why else would I come?"

"In order to learn that most patrols have nothing interesting in them. They just happen to make sure that everything is secure son. Nothing more to it. No grand battle or mastermind villain hiding in dark corners. Right Thorin?" Dwalin interposed.

Thorin pursed his lips and his eyes returned to the forest that was surrounding them. He didn't reply.

Durin settled back on his saddle. "I guess so."

Thorin withdrew his eyes from a particularly dark patch of trees several feet away from them with great difficulty and turned his horse around. "Come on we drifted too far away from the outer perimeter. Let's go back." He said with a voice that sounded a little bit too preoccupied for Dwalin's tastes.

"Did you see anything?" The bodyguard turned his attention at the place Thorin was looking before.

Thorin hesitated for a moment before shaking his head. "A trick of the eyes. It was nothing." -He said and then put his horse on a trot- "Come on Durin, don't dally."

Dwalin kicked his horse gently and followed the King.

As for Durin his eyes were stuck at the same dark patch that his father was observing before. Suddenly the fading canter of the horses made his stomach drop and a slow sense of dread washed over him. His eyes thinned at the blackness and the hair on the back of his nape stood on end. The unmistakable feeling of being watched took over him and adrenaline shot through his veins, instantly putting him in a fight or flight mode. He swallowed with difficulty and felt drawn by that blackness, almost physically unable to turn his horse around in order to follow his father. His heart was screaming for his dad's attention, but the old soul in him had taken over his body and didn't allow him to give his horse the signal of flight. He remained in limbo for several moments, but thankfully his father's voice resounded imposingly around the forest and drew him out of that terrifying reverie.

"Come on Durin, why are you lingering?"

Durin's eyes blinked and he felt momentarily lost as reality caught up with him with dizzying speed. "I am coming!" He rejoined and with one last scared look towards that black cluster of trees he galloped away and caught up with his father.

It took him the whole ride back home to settle down from that unnerving experience and he was still overcome by a feeling of impending doom whenever he remembered that barren patch of trees. He tried to calm down by telling himself that he would ride to that place tomorrow and it would look totally inconspicuous under the sun.

After Thorin tucked him in together with his brother, Durin grasped his arm and whispered. "Did you see anything in that place dad?"

Thorin frowned. "Where?"

"There was a place that you couldn't take your eyes away from, remember?" Durin rejoined.

Thorin tilted his head.

"We didn't go there to check it." Durin continued.

"There was nothing there." Thorin sighed and looked away. Then he pushed Durin's hand under the covers.

"I think there was." Durin said quietly.

Thorin looked at him intensely.

"Should we go check it tomorrow please?" Durin begged.

Thorin caressed his forehead and forced himself to smile. "Sure we can."

Durin closed his eyes and released the first sigh of relief. "Thanks dad."

"Now sleep." -Thorin placed a kiss on his temple and then one at the sleeping Thrárin's cheek- "I don't want you to wake up your brother."

Durin nodded and looked at the imposing figure of his father leaving their room. "Don't close the door!" He hissed.

Thorin turned around with a frown.

"Please…." Durin muttered.

Thorin nodded and placed his finger above his lips. "Hush…" He whispered.

Durin smiled and when his father left his stomach dropped. He turned around and looked at the stars with the hair at the back of his nape still standing up, while the steady breathing of his brother did next to nothing to calm him down.

* * *

 

Thankfully neither Durin nor anyone else looked preoccupied with any dark thoughts of the kind two days later. All of Thorin's company and his family were enjoying the beautiful weather and the amazing lake waters that noon. Eilin was standing at the lake shore wearing a long peach colored dress that was loose upon her body because she didn't want to restrict her belly at all. It was still flat, but just knowing that she was pregnant made her wish to protect her midsection from suffocating inside pants and tight belts. She felt the soft summer breeze burrowing under the hem of her dress and caressing her body and shivered from pleasure so much that her naked toes curled inwards.

"Come in the water! It is perfect!" Bella waved at her from the lake.

Eilin beamed and waved back. Her ears caught the fast canter of horses and she turned around to see Thorin upon his black steed and Rhianaye riding a two toned beauty next to him. They were both doing a free gallop across the field and Thorin was allowing his daughter to take the lead. Eilin shielded her eyes from the bright sun and smiled blissfully at them before turning her attention to the old peer, which was occupied by many children. Amongst them was Durin who had naturally taken over the leadership of all the group effortlessly and Thrárin who was following him around like a lost puppy. She saw Durin grabbing Thrárin's hand and running to the edge of the peer as everybody opened up to allow him free passage. He took an impressive dive and pulled Thrárin in after him who fell much more clumsily. His messy dive though ignited a wave of pride in his mother's heart. A loud applause erupted for Durin and Eilin wished even a small part of it was meant for the braveness of her little boy who attempted to follow his foolhardy brother.

Eilin walked down to the shore and when her feet got wet by the refreshing waters she closed her eyes contently. She didn't need anything more than what she already had here today. Her family was having a nice untroubled time and all of them were together, without any darkness staining their thoughts. She inhaled deeply and stretched her arms admitting that she wouldn't have minded much if she stayed here forever. That had always been her wish ever since she arrived here ten years ago with Bilbo. It became a secret dream of hers to get a small house here and raise her family with Thorin. A dream that she had to silence so she wouldn't have to witness her husband wither and die from becoming so much less than he truly was. His imposing presence and the intensity of his personality would never fit the Shire….still Eilin could only dream.

Maybe when Durin became of age and came to his own, Thorin would pass on the Throne of the North to him and retire in the Shire with her. He had been ready to do that ten years ago by passing the throne to Fili in order to be with her, but his kin rejected his resignation and requested him to take back the rulership of the North. Back then he told her that he would have stayed here with her, hadn't it been for the Lonely Mountain needing him. Now things were different, weren't they? The North was not headless anymore. They had produced not one, but three mighty heirs…and with Mahal's blessings soon a forth. Maybe having Durin under the Arkenstone would pacify the Alliance enough to allow Thorin a few years of peaceful retirement away from all that intrigue and danger. Heaven only knew how much he deserved a few years of peace and quiet as his life had been a highly demanding whirlwind ever since the day of his birth. He sacrificed so much for his kin all these centuries, maybe if he decided to do something for himself instead now, his kin would understand.

Eilin's face clouded slightly and her eyes looked at her husband wistfully from afar. Here in the Shire away from the Throne of the North her husband would be safe from danger. No spears, no swords, no axes or war hammers, no poisoned arrows would be threatening to take him away from her too early. Here there would be no secret plots, no need for diplomacy or thin balances. No need for the attention of the King of the North from every single Kingdom of Middle Earth. There would be no complex politics, no intricate laws that are difficult to manipulate or High Lords to occupy his days and nights with their machinations. Here there would be no great enemy seeking to assassinate him, neither huge armies aligning in front of his kingdom demanding him to ride in front of his men sword at hand in order to face them.

Here she knew that they could grow old and be safe together as Kings of their own lands, while allowing the command of the North to someone younger, stronger and worthier than the mighty Oakenshield. Thorin always believed that he'd die in a blaze of glory by the blade of his enemies, like every warrior did. Eilin hoped they would live long and happily together and in the end she'd die first, peacefully in their bed while having him hold her hand, in a small cottage here at the Shire. Their visions were different….but she could only hope that her dream would in the end come true.

She sacrificed her dream in order to follow him back to Erebor where he was meant to become the great King that he was right now. Maybe in the future when he felt safe enough to pass his throne to Durin he'd follow her in this quiet village to live the rest of their days as she always imagined them….in simplicity.

The Queen crossed her arms and looked absently at the other side of the meadow were Dis and Loa were flying a kite that looked like a huge bird and she felt happiness at seeing her sister in law so carefree after so long. Since the death of her beloved son there was always a shadow veiling her eyes. A similar one was always in Loa's eyes ever since she lost her husband in that terrible furnace accident and Eilin felt blessed that she still had everybody of her family alive and well next to her.

She frowned as she made an effort to locate Lis and she was unable to, but she did see Dwalin and Balin lying at the side of the lake with their shirts off, stripped down to their underpants, probably intending to look adorably sun-kissed, for the pretty ladies.

Another long sigh escaped Eilin's chest as everything in the world at that moment felt absolutely right and her hand caressed her lower belly affectionately. She didn't wish for anything more than she had right now. Three healthy kids and one on the way, a loving husband, many devoted friends and vacation in the most stunning place of Middle Earth.

"Are you coming in or what!? Your cheeks are turning too red from the sun! You need to dive in!" Bella hollered and several ladies around her waved at the Queen happily.

Eilin smiled widely. "You are too loud and too bothersome, have I ever told you that?"

Bella laughed. "Yes and you also told me that you love that side of me."

"That's true." Eilin grinned.

"Then come in or I will get you all wet!" Bella rebuked and splattered her.

Eilin's dress got drenched and she inhaled sharply as the cool water felt a little bit too painful for her hot skin. She yelped and ran quickly away from the shore. Then she turned around and tried to dry away the droplets that were upon her long ringlets. "I am going to get you for that!" She warned.

Bella splattered her with more water. "All words and no actions!" She returned playfully.

Eilin got ready to get her revenge when she suddenly located Lis from the corner of her eye. The girl was sitting alone at the most remote spot of the lake shore, away from everyone …looking absolutely miserable. That made Eilin's stomach drop and her brow to crease with worry. It was so unlike for Lis not to be following Durin or Thorin around.

"Hey where are you going?" Bella frowned.

"Give me a moment!" Eilin replied and walked decisively towards the young protégé of her husband.

* * *

 

Eilin smiled affectionately down at Lis. "Hello my darling."

The young girl straightened her hair and hurried to get up. "My Lady."

Eilin stopped her with a smile. "No stay. I will join you."

Lis settled down once more, but there was uncertainty in her eyes.

Eilin sat down and stretched her long legs in front of her. "Ah, one has got to appreciate the beauty of this village, don't you think?"

Lis nodded. "Yes ma'am."

"The greenest meadows, the bluest skies, the calmest lakes, the most picturesque houses, the prettiest rolling hills and the most amicable people." Eilin continued.

Lis' lips formed a small smile.

"I was thinking a moment ago how I would love to grow old here. Wouldn't you have liked that too?" Eilin leaned back on her hands and smiled towards the fishing boats at the lake.

"I don't think so." Lis frowned thoughtfully.

"Why so?"

"It will be too quiet for me after a while." Lis shrugged.

"You have too much of Thorin in you and a little bit of Durin too." Eilin smiled knowingly.

Lis looked up at that quickly. "What do you mean?"

"You have a warrior's heart, like them." Eilin explained patiently.

Lis smiled widely. "I like that!"

Eilin observed the little unruly girl silently for a few moments before speaking again. "So why are you here and not with the King or Durin?"

Lis looked at her boots and that avoidance made Eilin understand that there was something wrong. "I just wanted to think."

"About what?"

"How stupid boys can be sometimes." Lis didn't have a thread of hesitation this time.

Eilin's face opened up in recognition. "Boys in general or a specific boy?"

Lis looked at the Queen quickly and shifted uneasily. "Boys….boy…what does it matter?"

"Well, it matters because if it is just one boy giving you a hard time we can short him out." Eilin gave a playful side-glance.

Lis twisted her fingers around each other nervously. "Boys in general. Aren't they stupid ma'am?"

Eilin pursed her lips. "I suppose so. Even the best of them act stupidly sometimes."

Lis' huge brown eyes seemed to be eating her up. "Even the King, right? Remember how stupidly he acted with you ten years ago?"

Eilin tilted her head. "He was the one I had in mind."

Lis sighed and propped her chin on her knees. "So what do we do with them?"

"That's too vague."

"What do we do when the boys act stupid?" Lis asked.

"We ask ourselves why they are acting like that." Eilin raised her brow.

"What?" Lis seemed confused.

"Maybe they are acting stupid because they don't know how you want them to treat you. Maybe you could try telling them what it is they are doing wrong. Maybe tell them what is hurting you so they can fix their attitude." Eilin said calmly.

"I am too embarrassed to do such a thing!" Lis sounded terrified even at the idea.

"Then they won't know how to fix things. Don't expect them to be able of such complicated reasoning. Unless you force them to take action they will certainly try to slither out of most demanding situations." Eilin returned playfully.

"So we have to tell them every single thing we feel?" Lis sounded incredulous and rather annoyed.

"Unfortunately sometimes yes. Even the most brilliant minds of our race need guidance when it comes to a woman's heart." Eilin tilted her head.

Lis exhaled roughly. "I hate boys."

Eilin chuckled.

"Don't laugh ma'am. I really hate them." The young girl repeated.

"As I did when I was your age and look at me now. I adore them….or more particularly a couple of them." Eilin grinned thinking of her sons and their father.

"That will never happen with me." Lis pressed her lips decisively.

"Ah Rhianaye is saying the same things. You are both too young yet to say such things, but I understand. There will certainly be boys that will piss you off, but don't let that put you down. In time you will see that your heart may feel a little tender towards one of them." Eilin gazed at her with a lopsided smile.

"And what happens then?" Eilin engaged her eyes.

Eilin tilted her head happily. "Then you will be for the first time in love and I advise you to cherish that feeling my lovely, because it is unique."

Lis looked at the Queen searchingly. "Have you been many times in love?"

Eilin caressed her bottom lip and looked above her shoulder at Thorin. "Only once, but it was so strong no one else ever had a chance."

Lis shuddered. "Ma'am…no way will that ever happen to me. I told you that hate boys."

"Even the one you are protecting?" Eilin rejoined cleverly.

That gave a long pause to Lis whose face blanched. She remained quiet.

"Oh, now I get it. Was it Durin who hurt you?" Eilin tried to tread with care.

Lis felt her eyes welling. "No!" She shouted.

Eilin raised her hands. "Alright, calm down."

Lis threw her a vexed side-glance and then continued to fume.

Eilin settled down again. "Talk to him. He is as stubborn as his father and many times his ways are unpolished, but he has a good heart."

"I don't need to talk to him. He didn't do anything to me." Lis' fire seemed to die down slowly.

Eilin looked at her searchingly. "Then why do you look so miserable?"

Lis averted her eyes and started playing with the frills on her sleeves. It took her a long time to talk this time. "Sometimes I am thinking how stupid boys are and sometimes I miss my dad. I don't know."

Eilin's heart stopped. "Oh no, my lovely…." She murmured and drew Lis in her arms.

The little girl settled there. "He would have liked this place as much as you do."

"I know." Eilin kissed her warm brow.

"As a miner he never got to see such gorgeous places you know. He was always working under the earth and our home was always buried under the foot of some mountain." Lis continued.

Eilin nodded and closed her eyes as she cradled the girl's face carefully under her chin. "I understand."

"I am sure that had he been alive to see this place he would have bought a home here with the intention of becoming a farmer and making me his assistant. He wouldn't have returned to the mines if he knew that such beauty existed." Lis continued with a miserable voice.

"The first mighty female warrior of our race would settle with farming?" Eilin asked quietly and caressed Lis' hair.

"If it would please my dad yes ma'am." The girl returned without hesitation.

"Your father knows how much you love him and I am sure that he can see you from Mahal's Halls and he is very proud that his daughter is the bodyguard of Durin the Deathless. You are so much more than a farmer." Eilin said firmly.

Lis sniffled. "I'd give up even that if I could have my dad next to me again ma'am."

"I know honey…hush…" Eilin whispered and tunneled her fingers through Lis' hair.

"I miss him so much sometimes." Lis' voice was totally broken.

Eilin felt her eyes tearing up. "I can feel you my love. I miss my dad too..."

Lis froze inside her arms, but Eilin didn't feel that change. "You have never met your dad ma'am."

Eilin kissed her brow. "I'd like to get to know him."

"Why not your mom?" Lis' question was innocent enough, but it stung Eilin's heart.

"I know nothing about her, but my dad was in King Thror's Royal Garrison and Lord Balin knew him. I know his name, his family line and of course some things about his life. It is much easier for me to imagine meeting him than it is to do with my mom who is just a shadowy figure ghosting the dark corridors of my mind." Eilin explained as patiently as she could about a matter that truly ached her.

"That is the reason that you were so sad in Erebor? Because all those liars pretended to be your dad?" Lis asked.

A bitter smile formed on Eilin's lips. "Yes honey."

Lis' lips turned down. "You are hurting too…."

"About my father?" Eilin wiped a tear from her cheek.

Lis nodded.

"More than words can say. I find it unfair to know so much about him and not being able to get to meet him. I don't even know if he is alive. Would he be happy if he knew that he has three grandchildren and one on the way? Would he be proud if he knew that I found a man to love me so dearly and offer me a life most women only experience in their dreams? Would he be disappointed with how I lived until I met Princess Dis? Would he reveal to me why he and my mom abandoned me? Would those reasons be enough for me to forgive him?" Eilin said with a defeated tone.

Lis eyes teared anew.

"I cannot answer any of those question and I cannot have any answers from him either. That hurts a lot." Eilin explained.

Lis nodded.

Eilin cupped her cheek. "But I am a big girl. I will get over it in the end….and so will you, right?"

"Yes ma'am…." Lis murmured, but there was a lot of doubt toying in her clever eyes.

"You lost a father you adored…and I never met mine. We are both unlucky to suffer unbearable pain, but we will get better. We are both brave women, right?" Eilin reassured her.

Lis looked like a statue.

Eilin stood up and sighed deeply. "Now come on, join me at the lake and let us forget the past." She offered Lis her hand.

The young girl grabbed it and pulled her down. "Ma'am?"

Eilin smiled. "What is it?"

Lis' pressed her lips resolutely and her cheeks lost some of their color.

"Darling?" Eilin caressed the sideburns on Lis' cheek gently.

It took so long for Lis to speak that Eilin felt her stomach twisting with anxiety all of a sudden. "I don't know what they are doing with you ma'am, really."

"What do you mean?" Eilin sat down in utter confusion.

"What is everybody doing not telling you the truth?" Lis' question was addressed to herself.

"What truth? What are you talking about?" Eilin asked carefully.

"You are always sad and they can make you feel better. Why aren't they doing it?" Lis sounded honestly angry.

Eilin shook her head and closed her eyes. "Stop for a moment. I have no idea what you are saying…."

Lis clasped her hand and pressed it tightly. "Your dad…" She let those words linger.

"Yes?" Eilin's eyes filled with reservation.

Lis' gaze left the Queen's and searched for Durin who was pulling Thrárin across the peer. Then she turned towards the meadow and observed the King for a long but rather tense moment.

"Lis?" Eilin drew her back from her contemplations.

The young girl looked at the Queen and her face slowly settled. "It is unfair for you not to know. I lost my dad and I will never have him back. I have to live with that pain, but you don't."

Eilin felt her stomach twisting around uncomfortably. "I don't?"

Lis clasped her other hand and looked at her gravely. "No."

Eilin pursed her lips. "You shouldn't play with such serious issues Lis. Stop."

Lis pulled her roughly. "I am not playing. Your dad is alive ma'am."

Eilin's brow creased. "Quite possibly."

"No…he IS alive!" Lis sounded certain.

"How do you know?" Eilin's countenance filled with mistrust.

Another longer pause from Lis and her eyes searched for Durin again, but that didn't last long. "Because I heard them say it."

"Whom? Bloody candidates again? Did they follow us into Hobbiton?" Eilin's face settled in anger and she looked around her menacingly.

"No, Prince Durin, King Thorin and Lord Dwalin." Lis said with a hushed tone.

Eilin didn't think there were any words to describe how quickly her soul emptied into the void when she heard that. As for her poor mind, it was unable to comprehend what little Lis was telling her. Her stomach squeezed painfully and her heart picked up speed as adrenaline shot through her veins. "Wait…what?"

Lis swallowed heavily and lowered her head. "They know he is alive, because he is in Erebor right now. They brought him there without you knowing."

The feeling of emptiness that Eilin felt before was now replaced by a sharp dagger piercing her stomach and making her double down in anguish. She grabbed Lis by the biceps tightly. "Are you making this up? I have never punished you, but if you are making up fables I am going to be very angry with you Lis, be careful."

"No ma'am I am not lying I swear on my life, I swear on the spirit of my father!" Lis declared with sincerity.

Eilin looked above her shoulder at her husband who looked happily above any suspicion. "Alright, tell me exactly what you think you know." She said forcing herself not to panic.

It took Lis a long time to be able to explain what she heard between the King and Lord Dwalin and then she related her conversation with Lord Durin. When she finished Eilin was sitting down cross-legged and her eyes were looking lost at the horizon.

"Ma'am are you okay?" Lis asked.

Eilin didn't respond.

"My Lady?" Lis grabbed her shoulder and shook her.

Eilin inhaled deeply and closed her eyes. "You said there is a scroll with my father's….Master Urkar's….Othin's original signature in Lord Balin's chest of Royal documents?" She whispered feeling half-way out of her body.

"Yes." Lis replied.

Another even deeper stab cut Eilin's heart right off her chest and she felt in actual physical pain. She grabbed her bosom and hissed. "The one which was on my baby belt?"

"That is what the King said." Lis returned.

Eilin felt a fainting spell coming on. She had never felt such emptiness after being raped…not even when Thorin abandoned her. That couldn't be true. Surely Lis was making up all these things. She should just stand up, brush off that stupid story as a myth and join Bella in the lake.

 _Why didn't I join her in the first place?_ She asked herself. She would have dodged this deadly conversation with Lis, which opened up doors that could lead Eilin down a petrifying path she was not ready to take. "Lord Balin's chest, the one he keeps in his rooms?"

Lis nodded. "I can take you to it. You will find the scroll in there and then you will believe me. I am not lying to you ma'am please listen to me. Your father is alive, well and he is in Erebor…. You have already met him! He saved Prince Durin's life."

"Stop!" Eilin grumbled.

Lis cowered away and a sudden shade of fear covered her countenance.

"In the name of mercy stop. I heard you." Eilin rubbed her face, in a futile try to shake off what Lis was telling her.

"What are you going to do my Lady?" Lis asked hesitantly. Seeing the Queen like this made her realize that maybe telling her the truth hadn't been such a wise choice after all.

"Go find your mother." Eilin said in a dismissive manner. If what Lis was telling her was true then this little girl had thrown her world into ruins and Eilin was ready to do everything it took to prove that all this was a damned lie. Then she'd find Lis, she'd punish her and go find her husband, kiss him to oblivion and tell him that she was grateful that he wasn't a bloody liar…

"Ma'am let me help you, please." Lis tried.

"Go find your mother now and don't say a word about our conversation either to my son nor to my husband, is that clear?" Eilin's voice had acquired a dark tone, which Lis had never heard from her before and that scared her.

The little girl took a step back. "You are not happy with what I told you."

Eilin covered her eyes and winced. "Please go find Loa."

Lis didn't leave.

Eilin felt her nerves fraying at the edges. "Go!" She thundered.

That send Lis flying away from her with tears in her eyes as she realized that the news she gave the Queen about her father hadn't pleased her as she had been hoping.

* * *

 

Eilin remained frozen by the lake shore with her face buried in her hands trying to feel something…yet she was numb. However there was something terrifying boiling behind that indifference which made her dread herself. "He promised not to lie to me…he promised. That can't be true…it can-not be true…." She muttered.

She knew that probably Bella was having a good time with her friends and had already forgotten the Queen. She was sure that Dis was too preoccupied to check on her and that her children didn't even know that she existed at this moment. However she was certain that Thorin's eyes were always searching for her and that if he saw her sitting there with her face buried in her hands he'd suspect that something was wrong. She was not ready to talk to him right now. The only thing she wanted was to get away from everyone and go to Balin's rooms. She threw him a careful side-glance between her fingers to make sure he was still sunbathing next to his brother and then stood up. She looked around her discreetly and then took the long route from the South side of the lake towards Bilbo's home. She didn't want to approach Bella, Dis and Loa, but above all her husband. She gazed at him intensely making sure he hadn't noticed her leaving and then she hurried to get away unnoticed.

When she finally closed the circular door of Bilbo's burrow she leaned upon it and sighed. She stood there frozen inside out, trying to feel something…anything. The words of Lis should have made her feel utter agony, absolute terror and above all monumental betrayal from her husband, yet she could feel none of that. Maybe that was because she still didn't believe little Lis' fairytales. Even though her mind was trying to suggest that Lis might be telling the truth, her heart was unable grasp the horrifying immensity of such a reality. She frowned angrily and looked with determination towards the long corridor. There was only one way to disperse all those doubts and reclaim the absolute euphoria she had been feeling before talking with Lis.

How did she end up trembling in front of Bilbo's door instead of having a lovely time by the lake? She felt utterly vexed at Lis for ruining the wholesome feeling she was having as she was admiring Thorin riding with Rhianaye, her boys swimming and the new life blooming in her loins. Her hand came down to caress her belly. She didn't ask for her world to be shattered in this manner. She only wanted to regain the peace she had been feeling before but was that even possible after what she heard? No…not unless she checked Lord Balin's trunk in order to ascertain Lis' lies.

It took her a few debating moments to convince herself that what she was about to do was for the good of her family and herself. If she didn't do anything….if she simply accepted that Lis lied to her she'd be mad at the girl for ruining her small paradise. If she did believe the girl she'd have to accept that Master Urkar was indeed her long lost father and that her husband, Durin and Dwalin all knew about it and kept it from her. That route for her was so painful that she couldn't even consider it, never mind believe it to be true. However there was no way to remain idle now. She had to find out….On that thought a wave of newfound determination penetrated the numbness of her body and set her in motion. Eilin walked to the kitchens. There she rampaged the drawers and when she found a bobby pin she held it tightly in her palm and marched to Balin's rooms.

The room when she entered was quiet. The only light source was coming through the small circular window. Eilin looked at the well-made bed, the perfect flower arrangement on the cupboard and the clean night stand. She observed Balin's perfectly folded clothes that rested on the armchair's back and at the books that were placed in an alphabetical order. This man was the exact opposite of Thorin who was undoubtedly the representation of a sharp mind in his work, but in his personal life he was rather disordered despite being rather vain about taking care of his appearance. In their chambers it was Eilin who was always picking up his scattered clothes, his books, his important scrolls and documents of state. Nevertheless he didn't allow her to put order to the chaos in his office as he always said that it made perfect sense to him and that was more than enough.

Eilin pushed away these scattered thoughts and looked at the heavy trunk. It was sitting at the floor next to the perfectly clean desk. She felt her knees wobbly as she approached and her hand tightened around the bobby pin. "He promised…this cannot be true." She repeated feeling frozen. She knelt next to it and remained there observing it dazedly for what seemed like forever and a day.

 _You cannot remain idle…not now…not after what you heard…_ Her mind prompted her.

She pressed her lips and steadied the bobby pin at the lock. Then she closed her eyes and she tried to remember how to pick it. She had learned that unlawful trade at the tavern and it was rather useful for her when it came to helping Rhiannon get a few more precious coins from her customer's baggage, especially when they were rather stingy. She never used it to steal anything for herself even when she was in the direst conditions, so now she felt guilty for doing so. She gritted her teeth and listened to the lock moving. A few turns on each side, a small wiggle of her wrist and the chest was unlocked all its secrets to her.

Eilin looked at it in momentary disbelief and it took her even longer to open it up. It was full to the brim with properly arranged documents. Most of them were in the perfect handwriting of Balin, but several had the well-known artistic writing of the King and all of them bore his signature. Eilin frowned down at them as if they were to blame for the suffering she was going through at that moment. Then without any regrets she started throwing them out of their container, searching like a maniac for that one scroll that held her sanity between its folds. The more she drew out papers of meaningful nothings the more encouraged she felt that she'd find nothing of importance, so when she was almost down to the bottom her face had already formed a smile of victory.

When she lifted the next-to-last paper she paused and her brows wrinkled in confusion. There was the edge of a dark looking scroll peaking under the last paper. Her hand ghosted above it and she closed her eyes as her heart picked up speed. "Surely it is a mistake. This is nothing." She murmured.

 _Then if it is nothing, you have nothing to fear. Check it out!_ Her mind commanded.

Eilin opened her eyes and pulled away the last paper. Then she was face to face with that scroll and she wasn't sure that she wanted to unroll it. She would have probably remained there looking at it terrified until night-time if it wasn't for a group of laughing kids that passed from the window carrying with them a wave of happy energy. Eilin's heart pinched her bitterly. She could have been happily laughing out there with Bella and Thorin instead of moping in stupid misery in here. She huffed and forced herself to smile. "This is nothing…" She reassured herself and picked it up.

Her hands were trembling, nevertheless the smile of self-certainty was still on her face…until she unrolled it. That is when the world stopped turning for a few breathless moments she'd never forget to the day of her death.

Her smiled slowly died down to reveal a grimace of utter shock, her cheeks drained from all their blood, her fingers twitched around the edges of the scroll and her lips parted. Her breathing picked up and her eyes filled with tears that she was unable to stop. A scream of agony got trapped in her chest and she felt like she was suffocating. She let the scroll drop from her hands and clutched her throat. The struggle to breathe was becoming worst as her mind got bombarded by thoughts she could hardly understand, never mind accept. She stayed there kneeling in Balin's rooms in front of an empty chest with myriads of papers surrounding her as she was trying to unblock her wind-pipes. Anyone finding her like this would have thought that she looked at the edge of consciousness, however in reality her heart was pumping fast with adrenaline, preparing her for what was to come next.

When finally Eilin reopened her eyes they were full of unspeakable wrath instead of defeat. She grabbed the scroll tightly and stood up. Then she looked out of the window with a lethal gaze that would have unnerved even the most battle-hardened warriors. She tightened her fingers around the scroll wishing to crash it, but nothing would now be able to restore the euphoria she had felt a little earlier. It was impossible to enjoy the peace of this beautiful village surrounded by her family now that she realized she was been surrounded with lies.

"You broke your promise…" She hissed and walked furiously towards the door, clutching the scroll like it was her lifeline as she got prepared to storm her sorrow.


	41. Eclipse of the heart

 

* * *

Thorin stopped his horse and his eyes checked at Lis worriedly. She was standing at the edge of the meadow with her arms raised and was jumping up and down in order to draw his attention. Rhianaye stopped her horse next to his. "What's up with her?" She frowned.

"Don't know. You stay here and practice some more." He rejoined and set his horse in a quick trot.

Rhianaye pursed her lips and without a second thought she turned her horse around aiming to enjoy the freedom riding offered her, uncaring about how panicked Lis looked.

The same couldn't be said for Bilbo though who hurried towards her almost as quickly as Thorin, or Loa with Dis who made their way towards the little blonde girl too.

"What's wrong?" Bilbo asked alarmed.

"The King! I want to speak to him quickly!" Lis panted.

Loa grabbed her hand and turned her around. "Are you hurt?"

Lis pulled away her arm angrily. "No mom, let go!"

"What's happening?" Dis asked looking baffled.

"I don't know. What is going on Lis?" Loa rejoined.

Lis pushed her mother away again. "I need to talk to the King! It is an emergency!"

"An emergency she says…" -Loa harked dismissively- "What could be important enough for you to bother the King when he is having so much fun with his daughter?"

"You have no idea mom! Let go!" Lis spat.

"You are over-reacting in front of the Princess and making a fool out of me!" Loa chastised.

"Let the girl have a breather Loa, please. She's apparently upset about something. This is no act." Dis intervened.

"Sir! Here Sir!" Lis started springing all over the place when she saw Thorin riding towards her.

Loa grasped her forearm and turned her around. "If I realize that you called the King over for nothing I am going to thrash you!"

Lis' face contorted from frustration. "Mom, excuse me for saying so…but can you please shut up for once?!"

Loa drew back shocked. "What language!"

Dis held Loa back. "Don't….not now."

Loa closed her mouth, but she was trembling with wrath at the way her daughter dismissed her in front of the Princess.

Bilbo was standing with his arms crossed, patiently silent until Thorin finally stopped his horse in front of them.

"Sir…Sir…Sir…" Lis heaved.

Thorin alighted and walked quickly over to her. "Hey calm down little one."

Lis waved his composure away and tried to speak, but only a coarse croak came out, mixed with a cough.

Thorin looked at Dis who shrugged looking absolutely dumbfounded. "Don't look at me, I have no idea."

The King held Lis from her quivering forearms and came down to one knee. "Take a deep breath." The equanimity with which he was addressing her send a brief soothing wave over her panicked state.

She inhaled deeply and then let out a long breathe. "Okay Sir."

"Better?" Thorin asked.

"No!" -Her stomach clenched again painfully and fresh sweat broke upon her brow- "Listen to me please Sir! I did something very wrong and I don't know how to make it right again."

"Is Durin and Thrárin alright?" Thorin's heart dropped as his first thought was that something happened to his children. He looked at the pier nervously.

"No Sir, they are fine, but I don't know how well I am going to be when Prince Durin learns what I did!" At that sentence Lis seemed to fall apart and she grabbed Thorin's shoulder-blades for support.

Thorin hugged her tightly and kissed her forehead. "I need you to calm down and tell me what happened."

"If I find out that you did something to the King I am going to make you regret it faster than Prince Durin ever would young lady!" Loa thundered.

"That's not the way to make her speak. Please stop!" Dis chastised angrily.

Lis was trembling in Thorin's arms when she muttered. "I told her everything."

"Whom did you tell what?" Thorin frowned.

"I told the Queen about her father Lord Othin who is in Erebor and that you all knew it. I told her about his unique signature that is in a scroll locked up in Lord Balin's trunk….and ….and …." –Lis was sobbing so hard that it was difficult for her to speak- "and….I thought that she would be happy. I told her because she missed her daddy and she wanted to get to know him. I don't have my daddy. I will never see him again, but she can do that and I felt sorry for her and I told her to make her happy, but she wasn't. She looked very angry and sad and she send me away and then I came to find you and now I don't know how to undo what I did!" Lis bellowed.

A sinking feeling came over Thorin. He raised his crestfallen eyes to his sister and they both knew this was the point of no return.

"Oh no…" Dis whispered and released Loa who was looking around confused.

Thorin's jawline flexed and he tried to ignore the icy wave of nervousness that gripped his stomach. "How in the name of heaven do you know all that?"

Lis mumbled something unintelligible.

"Answer to the King!" Her mother thundered.

"Loa if you don't stop yelling at the child there will be heavy consequences towards you!" Thorin rebuked heavily.

Loa cowered away and curtsied deeply. "Forgive me Sir."

Thorin's solemn attention returned to the young girl. "Lis I heard what you said and I am not out to punish you. I just want to understand what is going on. Okay?" He schooled his voice to sound composed even though he was anything but that inside.

That seemed to calm down Lis a little bit, who nodded.

His large hand caressed the side of her face. "How did you learn all this?"

Lis began sobbing hard again and it was difficult for Thorin to make out what she was trying to tell him. During her broken but rather lengthy narration Dis left everyone behind and hurried towards Bilbo's home. Thorin remained patiently embracing and understanding until Lis finally stopped.

"Alright now calm down please." He murmured feeling overcome by what he heard.

"I am sorry Sir, I thought I was going to make her happy. Prince Durin told me to stay quiet, but I didn't listen to him and I made a huge mess of things. I didn't know any better. Will you punish me? Will the Queen send my mom and I in exile? Will Prince Durin ever forgive me? He will hate me….I know he will. I cannot stand the thought of him hating me Sir, honestly I cannot!"

Thorin kissed her temple. "Nothing bad will happen to you and your mom. As for Durin give him time and he will understand. Alright?"

Lis looked up with a pair of bloodshot eyes. "You won't punish me?"

Thorin's nose flared and he shook his head. "I won't punish you for our mistakes girl, no."

"What happened laddie?" Balin's voice drew Thorin's attention.

"Eilin knows." Came the taciturn answer.

Balin took a step back and looked at his brother who was observing Thorin closely.

Thorin stood up and felt Lis re-attaching herself on his waist. "Bilbo please take care of Rhianaye. Don't let her come down to your home until I say so."

Bilbo nodded sharply. "Already on it." He said and took the reins of Thorin's horse. He climbed on it and rode after the little Princess quickly.

Thorin turned to Balin. "You look after the boys."

Balin closed his eyes. "Don't worry laddie, they are mine."

Then Thorin looked down at Lis and caressed her long hair. "I need to leave little one. Go to your mom."

Lis pressed her lips and more tears cascaded down her cheeks and got trapped in her sideburns. "No Sir! I want to come with you and ask the Queen for forgiveness…please!"

Thorin gazed at Loa solemnly and she quickly came over and separated Lis from his waist not without difficulty. "Come with me baby girl."

Lis looked at her terrified. "Don't yell at me mom…I am sorry for everything I did."

Loa's brow creased.

Thorin covered the mother's forearm with his long fingers. "Treat her fairly. I will not give another warning to you. The child was not at any fault. This mess was our doing."

Loa wrapped her arms around her daughter who burrowed close to her chest and began sobbing again. She nodded at the King. "I will, Sir. Thank you."

Before Thorin had the opportunity to walk down to Bilbo's home in order to face his wife's inevitable wrath he felt Dwalin stopping him. "Do you want me to come with you?"

Thorin shook his head. "No. I must face this alone."

* * *

 

Dis stood by the door with her hand still on the handle looking at Eilin with tears in her eyes. "My darling girl will you not look at me, please?"

Eilin was sitting at the arm of one of Bilbo's chairs. Her body was slouched and her head was bowed low allowing her long hair to create a protective curtain around her angry countenance. Her hand tightened around the scroll. "Leave Dis." Her voice was coarse.

Dis took a few careful steps towards her. "Look at me please. I am here for you."

A bitter huff escaped Eilin. "You have no idea what is going on. Leave." She commanded.

Dis reached out to her. "Lis told us everything just now."

Eilin lifted her head slightly and Dis was able to see her red eyes. "She did?"

Dis nodded.

"Funny. You don't looked shocked enough." Eilin noticed coldly.

Dis flinched.

"Why do you seem so calm Dis?" Eilin tilted her head.

"What do you mean?" Dis frowned.

"You just learned that my father is alive in Erebor, didn't you?" Eilin arched her brow and her fingers twisted angrily around the scroll.

Dis swallowed heavily and her cheeks blanched.

Eilin's eyes thinned upon her sister-in-law ominously. "This isn't news to you, is it?"

Dis hesitated for several moments and then averted her eyes. "No." She admitted in defeat.

"Who told you?" Eilin's voice dropped low.

"Thorin." Dis was too embarrassed to lift her eyes to engage the Queen's.

"When?" The question sounded more like an accusation.

"When I arrived in the Elven Realm." Dis rejoined trying to remain calm even though her heart was thudding hard in her ears.

A bitter snort escaped Eilin. "So everyone knew except from me."

Dis looked up impatiently. "Listen to me Eilin there was a reason no one told you anything…."

"What reason?!" Eilin snapped unexpectedly.

Dis stopped her advance and turned white as a ghost.

"You knew that master Urkar is my father…." Eilin snarled.

"Yes." The sorrow was clear in Dis' countenance.

"You knew who he was when Thorin was escorting him back to Erebor himself." Eilin's voice flattened out once more.

"Yes." Dis returned and her hands began trembling.

"Escorted…" Eilin humphed.

Dis looked at her intensely.

"Let me correct this idiotic slip-up. My husband didn't escort my father back to Erebor. He made him walk behind my carriage till he fainted while all the while he knew exactly who this man was!" A dangerous wave of fury rippled through Eilin's usually sweet voice, distorting it.

Dis closed her eyes and felt her stomach tilting backwards.

"So my husband actually ridiculed my father and dragged him through the dirt while I was watching, right?!" Eilin growled and stretched to her full height.

Dis gritted her teeth unable to find an intelligible answer to that.

"And you didn't stop him even though you knew…" Eilin revealed her teeth and her cheeks turned crimson.

"No…" Dis muttered and tears cascaded down her cheeks.

"You allowed my husband to mistreat my father in such a demeaning manner?" Eilin took a step closer to Dis.

Dis felt the hair on her arms standing on end.

"What hold does the King have on you in order to make you act so dishonorably?" Eilin spat vehemently.

"Don't misjudge Thorin's actions so harshly when you haven't heard his side of the story yet, please." Dis' voice was beseeching.

"Nothing can excuse his lies and his vile actions towards my father!" Eilin roared.

Dis raised her hand. "Eilin have you thought that maybe Thorin felt as betrayed by this man as you felt in the past? He loves you so much that he hated the fact this man came to rock your world. He wanted to be harsh because he expected Othin to convince him of the honesty of his words and the loyalty of his actions…"

"Your excuses mean nothing to me right now. You stood idle when my father was being scorned. I wish to hear nothing more from you. Where is my husband?" She rejoined dismissively.

Dis opened her mouth to reply when the deep voice of Thorin made them both look up.

"I am here." He was standing in front of the open door, commanding as ever.

Eilin drew back away from Dis and her eyes thinned on him darkly.

Thorin walked in and pulled Dis by the bicep. "Go out and help Balin with the boys." He said flatly.

Dis looked at him and the Queen nervously. "Please both of you…remain calm…for the sake of your love, of your children and of Eilin's pregnancy!"

Eilin remained frozen while her eyes were searing through her husband's demandingly.

Thorin pressed his lips. "Just go Dis. Let me handle this."

Dis looked fearfully at Eilin. "She is mad at you." She whispered.

"I know, go." Thorin replied in a hushed tone and nodded towards the door.

When the lock on the door fell back in place Thorin had to force himself not to jump out of his skin. Eilin turned around and walked to the armchair, offering him her back. He exhaled and followed her carefully. "Hey beautiful…" He attempted.

"Shut up!" Was the rough comeback.

Thorin closed his eyes and felt his chest welling. He swallowed heavily.

"I don't want to hear any of your sweet talk right now, is that clear?" Eilin's voice was as cold-hearted as were her words.

"As you wish." His rich voice rejoined.

Eilin's hand tightened around the scroll and when she turned around she was carrying a tempest in her eyes that made Thorin's heart clench hard. She took three steps and whacked the center of his chest with the scroll. "What is this?" She spat.

He reached up to cup her hand, but she withdrew it quickly, letting him catch the scroll before it fell on the floor. "You already know." He gave her a forlorn look.

"I want to hear it from you!" She thundered.

Thorin flared his shoulders and steadied his heart. "It is Othin's original signature. The one that is at the back of your baby belt. The uniquely altered runes of Telchar that only he can replicate."

"He is alive." She hissed.

Thorin's jawline clenched.

"My father is alive." Eilin's voice dropped into a mere whisper.

"Yes…" His Adam's apple bobbed.

The slap was so quick he barely had the time to react, but Thorin had been expecting it. It set his cheek on fire and a sharp pain echoed across his jawline that was not more piercing than the pain that resounded through his heart. He grabbed his cheek and squeezed his eyes tight. He deserved that one.

"How long have you known?" Came a whisper that was rippling with fury.

"Ever since I woke up in the Elven Realm." He lifted up his head and met her eyes unafraid.

The second slap came from the other side, was even harder and caught his temple making it sting hard as she was obviously using all her strength. "You bastard!" She spat hatefully.

"You are not holding back are you?" He winced and swallowed what tasted like blood.

"What did you expect from me?" She snarled.

He gulped down a torrent of tears and forced himself to look at her straight in the eyes. "To ask for my side of the story, but apparently that's a tall order." He rebuked.

Another slap caught him from the other side which was still stinging from the previous strike. "Don't you dare guilt trip me on this one Thorin!" She thundered.

He grabbed his cheekbone and clenched his teeth as a wave of wrath threatened to overcome him at her ruthless attack.

"How did this scroll come to your possession? Did you force it out of my father?" Eilin's rude comeback caught him like another strike, but this was caused by words and it came right for his soul.

"I asked him and he delivered." Thorin replied emphatically.

"Don't try to convince me that you suddenly treated him fairly when I have witnessed firsthand how roughly you dragged him back in Erebor…" Eilin rebuked.

He inhaled deeply and lifted his head, looking at her proudly in the eyes again. "I didn't force anything out of him." -Eilin lifted her hand to strike him again, but he caught it midair- "Stop! Haven't you hit me enough?" He grumbled.

"Not even close…" She said indignantly.

His fingers wrapped firmly around her wrist and pulled her close. "Eilin I know you are mad at me, but you have to hear me out."

Eilin punched his chest and attempted to release her hand. "Let me go, you are hurting me." She bellowed.

He opened his fingers and allowed her freedom. "And aren't you hurting me right now, perchance? I deserved one slap, but I am not sure I deserved the rest!" He raised his brow. One of his ears was buzzing and his temple was throbbing along with his jawline.

"I haven't hurt you enough! You knew my father was alive and you didn't tell me anything…" Eilin's eyes filled with tears.

Thorin closed his eyes and felt his heart in actual pain. "No, I didn't. You are right."

"You lied to me even though you promised to always tell me the truth, even though you knew how much this was hurting me. The only one who thought of me was that poor girl Lis, no one else. Not even my son." Eilin threw at him with uncontrollable ferocity.

He could feel her pain hiding behind a huge wall of wrath and he was tormented by his inability to reach her. "Eilin when I found out who he was my first thought was to conceal his identity because I knew how much the truth was going to hurt you. Everything I did was for you."

"Even the way you mistreated him?" Eilin raised her brow.

Thorin swallowed hard and looked away.

"Look at me!" She yelled.

He did so with great difficulty.

"You humiliated him in front of me when you knew who he was. How did you convince me all these years that you have a heart, when in reality you have none? Whom have I married? Do I even know you?" Eilin's eyes pooled with unshed tears.

Thorin felt a dagger slashing through his heart. "I made a mistake Eilin, but I am angry at him for abandoning you. I am furious at him for coming out of nowhere to claim a piece of your heart. I still don't know if he came for you or for the gold that surrounds you. Maybe he came because you are the Queen of the North. I am afraid that he is out to hurt you again and I want to hurt him more before he has the chance to touch you. I want him to prove his worth, his loyalty…his true intentions before allowing him to approach you. You have a big heart Eilin and it encompasses everyone. It will do so even more to your long lost father. If his intentions are not good he is going to hurt you again and I won't allow him to do that."

"He saved our son and you need more proof? Whom are you trying to convince about the innocence of your actions or the purity of your intentions I wonder?" Eilin's eyes seared through him.

Thorin's face twisted in disbelief. "Is this what you are thinking of me after all these years?"

"You didn't think of telling me about him or asking for my opinion on the matter. You treated him like trash knowing that he was the one I prayed to get to know. The one for whom I have shed so many tears. How could you be so callous towards him Thorin? I requested for our baby to be named Orin, remember? You knew he was alive in Erebor and you acted with such composure when I told you about the name. How could you lie to me with such a straight face? Who are you?" Eilin didn't try to release herself this time.

"It wasn't easy on me either Eilin. I was ready to tell you the truth, I swear on my life. That day we spoke by the lake …I was so close. I wanted to give you the scroll as proof….but I couldn't do it. I was not strong enough to break you ….please hear my words." Thorin's tough visage broke then and revealed all the torment he felt inside.

Eilin's eyes gushed with tears. "All those secrets you were telling me about that noon…all the guilt I saw in your eyes…all the darkness I recognized upon your face was because you knew…You are indeed a master deceiver." She whispered abhorred.

Thorin closed his eyes tight. "I never wanted to deceive you. Merely to protect you."

"With lies." She tilted her head.

Thorin didn't reply.

"So many lies from everyone…." Eilin murmured feeling truly overcome.

"I swear on my life these lies weighed very heavily on me." Thorin tried to break through to her once more.

"Yet you didn't do to stop them, did you? I didn't see you trying hard enough to reveal the truth to me…quite the contrary." Eilin's voice plummeted forebodingly low.

"I tried Eilin…I truly tried." Thorin frowned in despair.

"How did you try that Thorin? By humiliating my father? By lying through your teeth and acting as if everything was alright when my whole world was about to come into ruins?"

"By doing the best I could to protect you and ending up hurting you more than I ever thought possible." His voice was diminished.

"I didn't need your protection! I needed the truth!" Eilin growled.

"You have the truth now Eilin. You know everything. I have nothing else to hide." He rejoined quietly.

Eilin grasped her temples and frowned in rage. "Why do I find that hard to believe?"

Thorin closed his eyes.

"I talked to him so many times. He was so polite, but so scared. You terrified him didn't you?" She threw more accusations towards him.

Her obvious revulsion made him bleed. He shook his head. "I am sorry."

"A simple sorry won't cut it. Not this time Thorin. He was quivering when he kissed my hands and he was unable to talk to me without tearing up. He was so kind, so respectful, so caring and careful not to bother me. He was lurking at Mirkwood for so long…." She muttered feeling abused by those painful images that were firing in her mind with unendurable speed.

"He wanted to be close to you and his grandchildren." Thorin rejoined quietly.

"Without wanting to bother us…" Eilin murmured.

Thorin nodded. "Yes."

When her eyes met him again they were cold as ice. "And you hunted him, you humiliated him and probably forced him to keep his identity a secret from me."

Thorin scowled at that. "No! That's not true! He was the one who wished for more time. I didn't do that Eilin I swear."

"Why should I believe you, give me a reason!" She roared.

"I don't have a way to make you believe me, but I am telling you the truth. I made an oath to him. I promised that I'd protect his identity until he was ready to reveal it himself. I told him that he now had an opportunity to approach you and his grandchildren. This was his chance to prove his loyalty and convince me of his intention to remain close to you and make up for all the lost time. Yet he wasn't ready to speak to you. He was afraid of your reaction …" Thorin hurried to explain.

"No doubt you warned him that you had your eyes on him and threatened him with various things, possibly also with his life." Eilin rebuked hard.

Thorin's brow clouded.

Eilin turned around and grabbed her head. "I knew it…you acted towards him as cruelly as you would have acted towards any criminal. My own father…."

Thorin felt his eyes burning and he grasped her shoulder. "I may have been too rough with him Eilin, but please understand me….I have your best interest at heart. I didn't care about him, only about you. I didn't want to allow him to hurt you again."

"So you hurt him instead!" -She turned around sharply and made him take a step back- "Nothing you say can justify your actions or your endless lies King Thorin!" She threw at him.

Thorin's shoulders deflated. "Maybe you are right."

Eilin looked at him coldly. "I am pregnant with your child. Have you no mercy?"

"Eilin, please forgive me…" Thorin's countenance broke.

"You hid behind the truth like a coward and expected Othin to make the first move, while treating him so heartlessly. That's so unlike you Thorin." Eilin continued her merciless assault.

Thorin didn't reply.

"I hate you!" She raised her hand to hit him again.

He grabbed her and pulled her upon his body. "And I love you!" He thundered.

Eilin closed her eyes and her hands became tight fists. "Your words are invalidated by your actions."

"Haven't I proven my love enough all these years?" He murmured and nudged her forehead with his gently.

She gritted her teeth. "When the time came for you to truly prove it…you failed royally…which matches your titles King Thorin." She rejoined disdainfully.

Thorin felt his heart torn apart and he tightened his hands around her wrists. "Would it have been easier if I told you about Othin? Wouldn't you have felt broken then? When we returned to Erebor and he told you would it have felt easier? There is no easy way to learn such a thing Eilin. You have been suffering for too many years by the mistakes of your parents. All the questions you have for Othin wouldn't have been eliminated had you learned the truth from him. You would have felt torn despite of how the truth reached you."

"Yes, but I wouldn't have felt betrayed by you. At least you would have still been my unperishable pillar of strength. The one I always expect to hear the truth from. The only one who will do everything in his power not to hurt me. The one who will never let me down. You destroyed all that Thorin." Her voice was barely heard.

"Please forgive me and let us start over again. Don't do this to us Eilin. We fought hard to find our peace. Don't ruin it for….for…" He couldn't find the words.

"For my father?" -She smiled bitterly- "You did that to us already, you fool."

He released her wrist and cupped her cheek. "Please…forgive me….allow me to show you that whatever I did was for you even if it was a mistake. I am not omnipotent Eilin. Sometimes I try to do the best for the one I love and I fail miserably. You said I was a coward…." He trailed.

She looked up at him with her beautifully sad eyes.

"Well, I am. I was not strong enough to reveal the truth to you. I didn't want to be the one to hurt you. I preferred for Othin to do that instead and for me to take over the role of the one who was going to support you through all this. I made an oath to you…remember?" Thorin whispered.

Eilin closed her eyes and several tears cascaded down her cheeks.

"An oath to always tell you the truth. I made a similar oath to your father that I will protect his identity. Remember what I told you that day at the river? I will do the best I can to protect the secrets of Telchar's family. That is what I did." He whispered.

"Because it was easier for you. Those secrets were concealed only from me. Your oath meant nothing." Eilin murmured.

He nodded. "These two scared oaths collided. I had to break one in order to keep the other."

"And you chose to break the one you made to your wife…." Eilin frowned and revealed her teeth angrily.

"Yes because I didn't want to hurt you." His voice was not more than a mere whisper.

She pushed back from him. "You failed."

"I failed indeed. Both at revealing the truth and at becoming your pillar of strength like you said. Now I am begging for your forgiveness. Please don't destroy us…" Thorin's azure eyes were full of misery as they ached to find hers somewhere behind that dark shroud of scorn and defiance.

She crumbled up the scroll and threw it at his feet. "Take this back."

He looked at it mutely.

She turned her back to him and walked towards their bedroom.

"Eilin?" He frowned.

She didn't stop for him.

"Where are you going?" He made an attempt to follow her.

"In my bedroom. Find a place to sleep for the night." She returned indifferently.

Thorin took a step back and felt his body emptying on the armchair.

"I don't want to be bothered by anyone… especially by you." Her voice was totally hollow and that scared Thorin to the core.

"Your wishes will be my command." He said trying to stop his eyes from swelling with tears.

She stopped and humphed. "If only that was true."

Thorin closed his eyes and exhaled roughly as he listened to her light footsteps fading away down the corridor. When the door closed, he winced painfully and grabbed his temples. He remained like that for what felt like an eternity, with his heart bleeding out slowly upon the fissures of his shattered soul. He still felt her rough palm ghosting his pained cheek and temple with the threat of another strike and her words morphing into small pins that pierced through his heart again and again ruthlessly. Had she been mistaken in treating him so brutally perchance? His heart said yes, but his mind said that he deserved every single painful attack she unleashed towards him. He had been anticipating his retribution ever since he found out the man who had been lurking in Mirkwood was Eilin's father and he decided to conceal that identity.

Dis had been right, he should have told Eilin the truth. At least then she would still trust him and allow him to support her. Now she pushed him away and he had no way of getting through to her because instead of being her loving husband, he now became her worst enemy. The man who hid the truth from her, the one who mistreated her father, the one who betrayed her more than anyone. The anguish he felt at being rejected by Eilin was a mere nothing in front of the dissapointment he felt at being an inadequate partner for her.

Suddenly he felt the remaining days they were supposed to pass here in the Shire a burden and all he wanted to do was put Eilin on a horse and escort her back to Erebor so she could talk with her father. Maybe if she found a closure with him, she would give their relationship a second chance and him the opportunity to explain himself again….maybe if she talked to Othin she would then find it easier in her heart to listen to Thorin's pleads for forgiveness and recognize why he acted so cruelly.

Their argument today had been almost as painful as their quarrel ten years ago when she was pregnant with the twins. Then they had broken up for several months before he took up the courage to admit that he couldn't live without her. She was once again pregnant to his child and Thorin ached at the possibility that Eilin would wish to repeat what happened a decade ago. They not only had a pregnancy on the way, but also three children who didn't deserve to experience the uncertainty of a painful separation from their parents. The immeasurable love that Thorin felt for his wife, was enhanced by his need to shield their children from their rancor.

No matter how much Eilin despised him at this moment she had to push those feelings aside in front of the children and they both had to put up a brave front in order to keep the peace of their family intact….at least until he was able to find a way to heal the wounds he had afflicted to her heart. No matter how much his soul was aching he was still able to think reasonably both for his children and for Eilin.

When after a while the door opened up, he didn't lift up his head because he honestly didn't care who just came in. Virtually everyone knew right now what was going on and he had nothing to hide.

"Are you okay laddie?" His advisor spoke in a hushed tone.

"Not really Balin." Thorin rejoined wearily.

Balin stood quietly next to him and sighed. "What happened?"

"All hell broke loose." Thorin spoke almost inaudibly.

"She got mad?" Balin took a seat across him.

Thorin tilted his head and rubbed his eyes firmly. "What do you think?"

"Where is she?" Balin looked around him curiously.

"In our bedroom….well…her bedroom from now on." Thorin pursed his lips.

A lock was heard from the depth of the corridor.

Thorin shook his head in dismay and closed his eyes. "Her locked bedroom to be precise."

Balin sighed. "Do you want me to talk to her and explain how things happened?"

"I tried to do it, but she is not ready to listen."

"Maybe she'll listen to me. She is not emotionally invested in me you see….she might be more even-tempered when I explain." Balin attempted to reason with the inconsolable King.

"No let her be. She needs to be alone right now." Thorin pushed himself up with difficulty.

"Where are you going?" Balin frowned.

"To the kids. Someone needs to take the helm Balin or we are all going down. I had been expecting this meltdown eventually, but I will not allow the children to be poisoned from it. I will take her wrath head on, but nothing will pass down to them." Thorin's despair was not strong enough to outplay the determination in his voice when he spoke about his children.

Balin grasped his forearm forcefully. "What did she tell you?"

"That she hates me, that I am a coward and a liar, that I betrayed her and that I mistreated her father." Thorin didn't dither.

Balin released his arm. "Well some of those accusations are true."

"Do you want to analyze which? I'd be so interested to know your opinion about me." Thorin rejoined dryly.

"You lied to her and you mistreated her father. Only those two….Calm down laddie." Balin's eyes were caring.

Thorin exhaled and felt his shoulders slumping in defeat. "She was not wide of the mark Balin, but she didn't give me the opportunity to explain why I acted the way I did. She took me by storm and was unwilling to listen to anything I said. I suppose I was the easiest target for her."

"I am sorry." Balin winced.

"The way I messed up, her retaliation was expected." Thorin sat at the arm of the Balin's chair and crossed his arms.

Balin patted his shoulder soothingly. "Eilin loves you laddie."

Thorin huffed and looked at his boots.

Balin pursed his lips. "She loves you more than her own life and you know it. She is just mad at you, confused about her father and doesn't know how to handle either his sudden appearance or you at this moment. She needs time."

"I know." Thorin nodded.

"Don't get discouraged. She will come around in the end." Balin tried to find his eyes.

"What she needs to do is go to Erebor and talk with her father." Thorin looked at the fireplace pensively.

Balin pressed his lips contemplatively. "Indeed that doesn't sound like a bad idea."

"We need to cut our vacations short Balin." Thorin rubbed his forehead.

"Kids still have two weeks left, they are going to be heartbroken if we take them away from the Shire. What are you going to tell them?" Balin rejoined.

"The truth. Durin knows already and Rhianaye possibly too. That leaves only Thrárin. I want to travel with Eilin towards Erebor as soon as possible, but I don't want to ruin their vacation. You are right about that."

Thorin frowned as he remembered the vague feeling that something dark was lurking at the edge of the forest.

"So what do you want us to do?"

"I will take Eilin and a small battalion and start off for Erebor in the next couple of days. You remain here with my family. I don't want Durin to sneak out of the perimeter I am warning you Balin. You don't let anyone in or out of the village without knowing who they are and that's a very strict order. I am not going to be here to cool down Durin's fiery spirit. You will be alone. Will you be able to handle him?" Thorin looked at him solemnly.

Balin sighed. "If I say yes, then I will lie. The Prince is hard to control."

Thorin nodded. "Then I shall talk to him. I will give him a choice. He either follows me and his mother back in Erebor or he stays here and is obedient to you and Dis. Simple as that."

Balin cringed. "You are not giving him any choice really."

"It is time for him to act more maturely and learn that until he comes to his own and takes over the Throne of the North he is obliged to listen to his subordinates and close relatives." Thorin rejoined harshly.

Balin smiled. "Very well laddie. If he behaves then I have no problem baby-sitting the little daredevil for as long as you wish."

Thorin pressed his shoulder and forced himself to smile even though his heart was not in it. "I am sure that between you, Dis, Loa, Lis and Bilbo poor Durin doesn't stand a chance."

"If you don't coerce him into obedience he will turn all of us upside down and inside out, believe me laddie. That boy's spirit is invincible." Balin smiled brightly.

Thorin's lips turned down and he gave a long wistful look at the door of Eilin's bedroom. "Bilbo doesn't have any more spare rooms, does he?"

Balin followed his eyes and his smile died down. "No, but you can share a bed with me or Dwalin."

Thorin shook his head and walked to the door. "Armchair is fine my friend. I am in no mood to sleep anyway."

"Where are you going?" Balin frowned.

"Told you. I am going to the kids." Thorin said and opened the door.

"I am coming with you." Balin made an attempt to get up.

Thorin looked at him above his shoulder. "No, please stay with her."

Balin's eyes suddenly brimmed with tears.

"She might need help…she's pregnant…" Thorin's looked heavily towards her door.

"If she needs anything I will let you know." -Balin settled back down and crossed his legs comfortably- "I am not going anywhere."

"Thank you." Thorin exhaled and left.

* * *

 

That afternoon Eilin didn't come out of her room for anyone apart from her children when they asked her. She visited their bedroom and tried to settle down their worries. Especially Durin was very difficult to convince that everything was alright. She tucked them in and only when she sang for them did they seem to calm down. Thrárin fell asleep first and then followed Rhianaye. The one who stayed awake and interrogated her till Eilin felt a headache coming on was Durin. When finally she told him that she had enough of his rumblings, he kissed her cheek half-heartedly and observed her with his keen blue eyes as she closed the door.

Eilin looked briefly towards the living room where she heard Thorin discussing in a low tone with Bilbo and then she locked herself in her bedroom again. She was not in the mood to talk to anyone else, neither did she have any appetite. That is how sleep found her…. Next day she missed both breakfast and lunch, but she never declined her children when they needed to see her. However she didn't leave her bedroom or theirs and that attitude was rubbing Thorin the wrong way as his patience was beginning to run short.

A little before dinner time while Loa was preparing the table, he was sitting in the armchair he used as a temporary bed last night and observed his children silently. He placed his pipe between his lips and inhaled deeply as he regarded Durin's distressed face and Rhianaye's gloomy eyes. The only one who seemed unaffected was Thrárin who was still too young to understand what was going on.

"She won't come out for dinner." Dis appeared under the archway.

"Did you tell her the kids want her at the table with them?" Thorin's eyes thinned.

Dis sat next to him and nodded. "Yes. She won't come out."

Thorin crossed his arms and gripped the pipe with his teeth. His bearing was clearly aggravated.

Dis reached out and touched a faint bruise on his upper cheek gently with her fingers. "Damn wolf, she has a heavy hand."

Thorin pushed her away bothered. "Don't…"

"Forgive me." She replied quietly.

He shook his head dismissively.

Dis settled back and beheld the children dolefully. "My poor darlings. I mean look at Durin. It is quite obvious that he doesn't know how to handle what is happening. He likes Othin, but he hates what this is doing to his mom. He chastised Lis rather harshly at noon despite you telling him not to do it. He feels she is the reason his mother is so mad and you are so sad. The poor girl was inconsolable. As for her mother" –Dis looked at Loa who trying to dab her teary eyes without being noticed- "She cannot find a footing with Lis who also locked herself in her room and refuses to come out."

Thorin gritted his teeth. "Enough." He placed his pipe at the ashtray and pushed himself up.

"Where are you going?" Dis frowned.

Thorin arched his brow. "Where do you think?"

Dis stopped him. "She doesn't want to see you."

Thorin pressed his lips. "We have three children and one on the way. She will see me whether she likes it or not, sister." He sounded infuriated.

"Take care to speak to her calmly." Dis warned.

Thorin ignored her and strode past his children who were playing a board-game on the floor without noticing Durin's perceptive eyes burning his back. When he reached Eilin's door he paused and felt part of his resolution fading away at the prospect of hearing Eilin saying how much she hated him again. Those words were sharp enough to break him in half. He lifted his hand and lingered for several moments before knocking.

There was no answer.

He tried the handle, but it was locked. His lips became a thin line of impatience and he knocked again. "Eilin?"

Nothing.

He closed his eyes and felt his heart sinking. He knew his wife didn't wish to see him, but only the moment he tried the door did he feel truly locked out of her life. He exhaled roughly upon the hard wood. His fingers tapped the door again. "Eilin please open up. I need to talk to you."

He waited patiently but nothing happened.

"Please…it has to do with the children." He used the only thing that he could to make her respond to him and held his breath.

Indeed after a few moments he heard the lock turning.

He tried the handle and the door cracked open. He peered inside and frowned at how dark the room was and how stale the air. There was only a single lamp throwing its fade light upon a desk which was cluttered with papers that had Eilin's handwriting on them. She was sitting on the bed with her back turned to him. He looked at her long red curls covering her small waist and his heart complained. He closed the door carefully.

"Hey beautiful." He whispered and instantly his eyes brimmed with tears. No matter how determined or vexed he was at her before, now that he was in front of her, he was at her mercy.

She raised her hand and wiped her nose with a handkerchief that was crumbled between her fingers.

He sat down next to her without asking for permission and raised his hand to caress her hair. Before his fingers touched the silken curls though his resolution weakened and he stopped. "How are you?"

She didn't say anything.

Thorin forced his hand to run the length of her thick mane, expecting her to push him away, yet she didn't. "Dinner is ready."

She turned around then and he saw the lines of anguish etched across her lovely face. She gazed at his empty hands. "Where is it?"

"I didn't bring to you." He felt his heart screaming in agony at the grief that shrouded her eyes.

"Why are you here then?" He reached out and cupped her hand.

"To ask you to join us at the dinner table."

She drew it away. "I am not hungry."

His stomach clamped in despair. "I won't force you to eat, but I want you to join me and our children."

"They can eat without me. I will go to their rooms and sing to them when they are finished." She replied flatly and turned his back to him again.

He reached out and grasped her shoulder. "Please look at me."

She didn't.

His nose flared. "I know you hate me right now Eilin, but I still love you and that will never change. No matter what happened with your father or whatever happens in the future I will always be here for you…."

"I could do without your presence at the moment." Came the hard reply.

The blade twisted pitilessly in the depths of his heart making it bleed more. "This isn't about you and me anymore my treasure, please."

Eilin tried to get released.

Thorin's forearm muscle flexed and he inhaled deeply. He gritted his teeth and turned her around. "We are not alone anymore Eilin. We cannot act like dwarflings in anguish when our children out there are suffering from our mistakes. I am here to do everything it takes to gain back your trust and love. Even if I have to do it all over again, fall at your feet and ask forgiveness….even if it means that I have to court you from the start, I will do it. Just don't punish our children alongside of me, please. Durin is way too perceptive to be sidetracked. He knows you are moody because I lied to you about Othin and his sister knows too. Thrárin is doing the best he can to fix the mood of his siblings while asking for your presence constantly."

Eilin sniffled.

"I will beg your forgiveness to the end of my days, but my heart that is where my pleading will stop. When it comes to our children you will find me against you if need be. There I will not implore you anymore. I will demand you follow me out there and appease their fears. I will not hesitate to become harsh towards you when it comes to them, do you understand?" He continued with as much self-control as he possessed.

"You showed me how cruel you can truly become with my father." Eilin met his eyes with contempt.

Thorin felt his heart complaining, but he didn't back away. "Throw as many accusations as you wish on me. I am here to take them on, but don't punish our babies…."

Eilin tried to hold his weighty stare, but found it impossible and she preferred to look away with an outraged grunt.

"In two days we are leaving." He drew his hand respectfully away from her shoulder.

She frowned and looked up to him.

His eyes were observing the door. "We are returning to Erebor. I will get a small company and escort you there myself. You need to talk with your father."

Eilin felt her eyes gushing with fresh tears and a sob got trapped in her chest.

Thorin gave her a brief side-glance. "I don't want to ruin the children's vacation. You will explain to them that you need to go see your father, but that you want them to remain here and have some fun until the fortnight ends. Then Balin, Dis and Dwalin will escort them back to the Lonely Mountain with the rest of the battalion."

Eilin closed her eyes. "I can go home alone, without you."

Thorin felt as if the hand of steel that was gripping his heart for two days tightened its hold, making him suffocate. Nevertheless his pressed his lips and looked at her firmly. "You are still my wife and I adore you. There is no question that I will escort you. No matter how much you may despise my presence right now, you are rather stuck with me, so you'd better come to terms with that."

The stare she gave him was deadly.

"The tempest in your eyes is not scaring me my love. Yesterday you told me that you hate me…there is nothing else that could possibly hurt me more than that. You have already managed to undo me." His rich voice had such a bitter tone in it that Eilin's inflexibility waned for a meagre moment.

She swallowed heavily and felt fresh tears edging her eyes.

"Do you have anything to tell me? I am always willing to hear you…" He inclined his head.

Eilin averted her eyes and pressed her lips tightly.

Thorin exhaled in defeat and opened the door. "Kids are waiting for you." He resumed flatly and that tone was assertive enough.

Eilin stood up and walked to the entrance. When her shoulder brushed his bicep she stopped as if she was having second thoughts.

He closed his eyes. "I am always listening…remember that." He whispered.

Her brow clouded and she walked away from him quickly.

Thorin leaned back to the casing and rubbed his eyes trying to alleviate their burning. He heard her calm voice as she addressed their children and their happy exclamations when they saw their mother joining the table finally after two days. He remained standing there by the doorway for several moments, tilting between anger and despair and it took him more than one deep breaths to gather the courage to put up a brave front for the kids. He then walked in the dining room and joined his family for dinner. And as they ate and spoke to each other he felt the endless waves of Eilin's hatred being camouflaged as a fragile peace. He treaded with care around her and she did the same with him. Dis and Balin were the ones who attempted to add a cheerier note to the company as did Bilbo who was cracking jokes with Thrárin about his bed monster. As for Dwalin he had taken on the role of quiet observation until Durin finished his dinner and then he engaged him in a long discussion about the proper balance of war hammers.

When dinner was finished, Eilin took over the kids as usual and tucked them in. Thorin decided that it was best not to follow her and resumed his usual place at the armchair in Bilbo's cozy living room with his pipe trapped between his lips and his eyes lost towards the empty fireplace. Balin and Dwalin were discussing quietly about the Commander of the Battalion and how shamelessly he had been flirting with Bella Goodchild. Something that was pissing off Hamfast who proved he had some warrior spirit in him after all. Bilbo was sitting on his stool, drawing the maps to Erebor that he wanted to include in his book grumbling about Gandalf who left the dawn after the feast without saying goodbye to anyone.

Balin remarked that the Grey Wizard must have been scheming once more and everyone agreed upon that. Thorin was not inclined to join in the conversation at all as his ears were stretching to hear what was going on in the children's bedroom. It was only when he heard the enchanting voice of his wife lulling the kids to sleep that he allowed his body to wind down. After that he remembered little as sleep took over him quickly and he didn't even realize how time passed by and slowly everyone retired to their bedrooms. Neither did he feel Dis pulling his pipe out of his mouth and covering him up with a light quilt.

* * *

 

It was way into the night when Eilin stepped in the living room and hovered above Thorin's armchair for what felt like an eternity. The sorrow in her eyes as she looked at him trying to fit his huge frame in this small piece of furniture was immense. She felt her back shuddering at how soothing his steady breathing was for her and how much she had missed it those two nights that she slept alone. She reached out to straighten his head, since that position looked painfully uncomfortable, but she stopped the last moment. She didn't want to wake him up and she certainly didn't want to talk to him now. Her hand lingered for what seemed like forever above the bruise on his temple and her nose almost touched his neck. She inhaled his beloved scent deeply and closed her eyes feeling the waves of guilt igniting fresh tears in her eyes. For a single moment she felt like nothing had changed during all these years, despite of everything being so different….it felt as if she had magically been transported to the past when she was a terrified maiden who stood frozen next to his bed, enraptured out of her wits by this impressive man. The same butterflies seemed to be waking up now as her nose almost touched his warm skin. The emotional impact this man had on her, remained unalterable through time and she hated him for that right now.

She opened her eyes and pulled away, trying to get as much distance between him and her as physically possible. Then she walked carefully to the entrance and opened the door. When she went to her rooms this evening she found it impossible to fall asleep so she decided to leave. She had no idea where she was headed, only that she wanted to get as far away from the Shire as she could. Her heart was bitterly empty as she closed the door behind her and went to the stables. Without realizing what she was doing and as her mind was jumping between her furious fight with Thorin and the sad eyes of her father, her hand opened the door of Thorin's black steed. As she saddled it she remembered when her father told her that he tried to marry her mom and offer her a family. She tightened the straps of the saddle angrily and her eyes teared up when she recalled that her mother was actually a prostitute.

That is when her mind started mocking her. The daughter of a prostitute married a King and gave birth to Durin the Deathless. Instead of feeling pride upon those thoughts she felt shame, guilt and so much anger that she was unable to control her hands from being too shaky as she climbed on Thorin's way too tall and rather wild horse.

As she set it on a trot through the quiet and dim village roads she wiped her cheeks from tears that got released when she remembered that her mother never wanted a family with an underprivileged Dwarf and left him without remorse when she found a better sponsor. Eilin kicked the flanks of the formidable black beast when she comprehended how little she mattered to her mom and how much anguish her father went through when he woke up one morning to find out that both his daughter and the woman he loved were gone.

Eilin set Thorin's horse to a fast canter which led her through the eastern exit towards the Greenfields. It was the pained eyes of her father -that resembled so much hers- when he spoke of the woman he loved so much that released all the anguish from Eilin's eyes and she found it difficult to stop herself from sobbing hard as the black stallion carried her upon twisting paths that led further into the woods. It was the broken expression of Thorin when she struck his face and told him she hated him that released a howl of torment from her chest. At that moment she wanted to strike him again and simultaneously ask his forgiveness and she hated how easily he was splitting her soul in two.

She didn't know for how long she galloped through the blackness of the woods trying to empty her pain and she didn't know where she was heading, but the imposing voice of one of the soldiers of the Royal Garrison made her pull the reins hard and her horse stood on its hind legs with a neigh of displeasure.

"Stop in the name of King Thorin!" The guard lifted his spear.

Eilin allowed the horse to settle down and wiped away the tears from her face quickly. "What are you doing my good man?" She asked.

The guard squinted his eyes and then nudged his partner who lifted up his torch. "My Queen I didn't realize. Forgive me." The guard knelt in front of her as did his comrade.

"Why are you out here so far away from Hobbiton?" Eilin frowned.

"Orders of the King my Lady. We have extended the outer perimeter to include these woods." The guard said respectfully without raising his eyes to the Queen.

Eilin sighed patiently. "Very well. Let me pass."

The guards exchanged a worried look. "The Kind has ordered no one to enter or exit the outer perimeter."

"No one?" Eilin frowned.

"No one we don't know…." The other guard added.

"Well you do know me." Eilin raised her brow.

"My Lady we cannot allow you to ride alone through the dark woods. The King will execute us if he finds out." The guard rebuked.

"I will handle the King and I am more than capable of handling a small ride in the forest unassisted, don't you think?" Eilin's assertiveness made the guards look at each other apprehensively.

"I suppose so, your Majesty." They bowed.

"I am not imprisoned, am I? Am I not free to go where I wish or has my husband placed shackles on me without my knowledge?" Eilin continued calmly.

"Of course you are free your Majesty."

"I know you worry, but I will be fine. I will be back by dawn." She smiled.

The guards opened up for her after a momentary hesitation and presented arms. "Your Majesty!" They saluted.

"You are dismissed." Eilin said with authority and left the two guards observing her confused as her horse galloped like the wind upon the dark path.

Soon her shadow got lost at the winding road that was cutting across the thickest parts of the forest...a road that led to the village of Bree and beyond…

* * *

 


	42. When darkness falls

Eilin pulled the reins and the wild stallion stopped with many snorts of annoyance. She didn't know what was going through her mind when she picked Thorin's horse. There were many well-mannered animals in the stables which would have been much more compliant. This beast didn't start when she asked it to do so, rarely stopped and had its own ideas of where to turn…it was the most stubborn animal she had ever met…much like its master.

"Will you calm down for the sake of my sanity?" She hissed and shortened the bridles forcing the animal to tense up.

The horse neighed in response. He thrust his head forth and pulled her arms along with the reins therefore denying her the opportunity to hold it in place.

"How does Thorin succeeds to ride you?" She gritted her teeth rather determined to whip it to obedience if need be, when suddenly the foliage of the thick woods stirred and Eilin instantly became very alert of her surroundings. Her eyes scanned the dense three lines, but she couldn't see anything more than shadows dancing around…which could be attributed to the movement of small animals, or a simple trick of the eye. She gazed up to the sky and saw the starlight being as impressive as ever, but there was no moon up there tonight. It had made a full circle several days ago and now the sky was empty and the faded glow of the stars was not sufficient to brighten the dark road she was upon. Much less was it able to penetrate the unrelieved blackness of the forest.

Eilin felt the nervousness of the horse and leaned down to caress its long neck. Her fingers slid over its slick mane and she whispered. "Thought you were braver than this. A few eerie sounds are enough to freeze your blood? Do you keep all your bravado for me you gloomy devil?"

The horse grunted, but didn't try to pull away from her touch like it had been doing all along. Eilin propped her forehead on its mane and looked around her. The stare she offered the eerily silent forest was both vigilant and edgy. "This forest is too silent, isn't it?" She said in a hushed tone.

The horse snorted and Eilin knew it was as alarmed as she was. Her eyes skipped around them nervously and she was almost certain she'd see some kind of movement again and this time maybe identify it. Her concentration was so deep it influenced the horse, which for the first time was not actively try to ruin her plans. It remained absolutely frozen, using only its ears to catch any possible sounds and waiting restlessly for Eilin's command.

When a branch snapped behind them, both Eilin and Thorin's steed lost it. She screamed and was unable to recover the reins quickly enough to hold on, so when the horse stood on its hind legs Eilin tumbled off the side and fell down with a grunt of pain. The horse broke into a gallop and vanished at the corner of the road before she could even raise her head. "Come back you black coward!" She hollered, but she could only hear its hooves fading away in the distance.

She looked above her shoulder out of breath and got ready to take on the big enemy that had scared her and the horse, only to meet the glowing eyes of a small fox. It yelped and then hastened away from Eilin's intimidating presence. "Oh, you little minx…" The Queen grumbled feeling rather cross. She had lost her only means of transportation because of that little scoundrel and her hip was on fire.

She dragged herself up with great difficulty and tried her leg, which instantly gave way on the first step. That is when the first tears of frustration dawned in her eyes. Bree was a long way back and by foot it would be a rather cumbersome trek, especially in her current condition. That fall from Thorin's horse hadn't been hard enough to cause a major wound, but it was making it difficult for her to walk. She knew this road was going to lead her to the Forsaken Inn sooner or later. She hadn't been in these lands for more than twenty years, yet that route was imprinted in her mind. It was almost impossible to forget the small -unnoticeable to an outsider- signs that were reveal of how close she was to her old home. A singular tree at one corner, a boulder that had a particular shape down this stretch of the road. The shadow of well-known hill above the tree line. Everything pointed out that at the next turn she was going to see the lights of the Forsaken Inn glimmering upon the dark path, if it was still operational after all these years.

When she left Bilbo's home she didn't know her final destination. She just wanted to get away from her husband in order to think. The last thing had been planning on was a visit to her old abode, but as she rode in the darkness alone she recalled Othin's lachrymose about his Evelyn and that broke her heart. Suddenly the need to know more about her mother became unbearable.

Thorin's warnings about Othin's trustworthiness, even though they hurt her deeply, were not completely groundless. She was not yet ready to admit to her husband that she shared his suspicions, but now that she was alone she could do it easily. Even though her heart ached to go find Othin and ask him to tell his side of the story again, she also yearned to find out a few things about her mother alone if that was even possible. In the past she had no information about her mother, at least now she knew her name. She knew Evelyn was a prostitute, that she had an affair with a Dwarf and that she abandoned both her mate and her child in order to pursue a richer suitor. Now Eilin had the opportunity to double check Othin's words with other people, more impartial who may have met Evelyn in real life and she knew exactly where to go in order to do that.

She glimpsed behind her and shuddered. The safety of her hike now that she was half-walking, half-limping through this shadowy road with no horse and no means to defend herself was not so encouraging. She imagined Thorin's impressive voice booming in her ears….chastising her for leaving the safety of the village with no escort just because she was mad at him…and a swell of apprehension stifled her spine.

She cast her eyes at the dim borders of the forest and gritted her teeth with resolve. This experience was not new to her. She hadn't been raised like a little Princess in golden rooms and plush beds. She had great experience of the wild and she had lived through exceptionally rough conditions in the past without so much as a single drop of fear. With that thought her courage got a rather significant boost and her gait towards the Inn became as spirited as her injured hip allowed her.

The times when she thought she heard the leaves rustling or she noticed the foliage shifting with her peripheral vision weren't few, but in the end there was only silent darkness. After a short but rather lumbering jog, which she took up in order to get out of the shadows as soon as possible, she slowed down once more. She focused at the end of the road where a rather sharp turn was leading behind the tree lines and saw the unmistakable orange hue of torches. Her poor heart twitched with the faded warmth of a possible respite from this desolate path….the Forsaken Inn was still standing after all these years, wasn't it?

…Snap…

Eilin inhaled sharply and turned around so fast she lost all sense of direction. A spine-chilling whisper followed the broken branch and the Queen's adrenaline shot through her veins so quickly that all her hair stood on end. Her muscles tensed impulsively and she bolted down the road with no intention of waiting to find out who that was. She run as if the demons of Morgoth were on her tail, without even feeling pain from her bruised hip or caring that her lungs were on fire.

When she took the final turn of the winding road and saw the large Inn she felt her heart elating and a victorious hark erupted from her chest. However she didn't slow down and neither did she dare look behind, because she was certain that something or someone was following her. With newfound strength she hurried to the entrance of the tavern and only when her hand touched the railing, where several horses were secured, did she allow herself to stop.

She looked behind her gasping for breath. The orange hue of the torches reached up to a point and then it was only unrelenting darkness. When she saw the impenetrable gloom of the forest she had trudged through, she shuddered with apprehension. Her eyes focused hard, trying to discern any kind of movement, but there was none.

A few deep breaths later she felt safe enough enveloped as she was by the lights and began checking it out the old Inn. It looked so much with the old building she remembered from her youth yet it was freshly renovated and the swinging sign read: "The Cuddly Mercenary Inn." Eilin frowned and looked around to make sure that she was in the right place. There were several shadows going back and forth behind the clouded windows and the music was coming through the thick walls muffled and vaguely familiar. She steadied her heart and placed her hand on the handle.

There was no turning back now… She wasn't about to embark on another trek through that forest. At least not until the sun came up again and offered her some safety.

When the door opened the strong smell of tobacco and alcohol assaulted her nose and the loud music pierced her ears. Eilin tried hard not to flinch. Apparently she had forgotten how chaotic it was to live and work in this hellhole, but the moment she stepped foot inside all those memories returned a thousand-fold and took her by surprise. She looked around her petrified as the noises in the establishment slowly died down. Apparently her presence had been commanding enough to silence the whole tavern.

Eilin didn't know which felt worse. Reentering the anarchy she recalled from her youth or seeing it halt for her and shroud her in tense silence?

One of the violins in the band screeched as the drunken player gazed at her with raised brows. The faces of the working girls alternated from mildly interested to downright jealous or hostile. As for the customers, most were already drooling and some were pushing away their girls in order to stand up and approach her.

One of the maidens that had stopped close to Eilin elbowed her. "Go to the bar and talk with Perth, unless you want one of these brutes to come over." Then she marched off clearly disinterested if Eilin was going to take her advice or not.

Eilin gulped uneasily and her eyes jumped about cautiously, without realizing that she stood out like a sore thumb in the midst of this filthy decadence. Her white long dress was made from the finest silk and that alone would have been enough to draw their attention. What could be said about her golden belt and the silver embellished frills on her long sleeves, or the exceptional white fur of her boots? She had lived in the lavish world of the Longbeards as Queen of the North for so long, that this apparel for her was nothing unusual, but right now she felt highly uncomfortable under all this tense scrutiny.

Eilin felt that her upper torso was way too exposed for this environment as she was not wearing any vest and her perky breasts were tightly confined under the modest bust of her beautiful dress. Once more the austere face of her husband appeared in her mind to silent reprimand her for going out dressed like this. Even if the material of the garment was heavy enough not to betray any details, the full shape of her bust was hard to miss especially by the ravenous eyes of these filthy scumbags. Her stomach squeezed tightly and she tried to steady herself.

That is when one of the prostitutes sauntered proudly behind the Queen and plucked out a long strand of her luscious red curls. Eilin yelped and grabbed the back of her head. "Why did you do that for?" She asked accusingly.

"Wanted to see if that was a wig." The woman smirked and continued chewing her gum.

Eilin addressed her silently with what felt like a formidable glare and turned to the owner who stood mildly amused behind the counter. He was a bold and rather bulky man at least six foot four with huge muscles, a blonde beard.

"Hey Perth? New girl? Didn't know you could afford someone so gorgeous!" One of the patrons said and many laughed.

Perth harked and raised his brow. Then he leaned his elbow on the counter and smiled at her.

"I am having her first! I got enough coins!" A toothless customer shouted.

"You don't have enough money to buy out such elegance you rotting maggot. That's a Princess and it is obvious as fuck. She's no whore." One of the prostitutes rebuked.

"Shut up you bitch! What would a Princess be doing in this dump?" came the hard retort.

"Don't call my establishment a dump unless you want to meet your maker." -Perth, the huge owner rejoined heavily. Then he turned to Eilin- "So are you a Princess indeed?"

Eilin looked at him and pursed her lips. "No I am not a Princess and I didn't come here to cause trouble. I would like to have a word with your girls and I will pay for their time well."

Perth arched his brow and gazed at her from head to toes. "Talk about what?"

"I need to ask them information about a prostitute that might have worked here long ago." Eilin didn't hesitate. She had been working in this place for many years. Just because she had left this life behind didn't mean she didn't remember how to address these people or how to do business with them.

Perth's gaze slid down Eilin's dress inquisitively. "You are too short for an Elf or a Human and your feet are too pretty for you to be a Hobbit, yet you speak our language. What are you?"

"A Dwarrowdam." Eilin tilted her head.

Perth's eyes were locked upon her sleeve. "Which clan do you belong to?"

Eilin touched the runes of Thorin's name, which were sewn on her sleeve. "The Longbeards."

Perth gazed at her solemnly. "Indeed, that's Oakenshield's sigil. He has a big reach. We don't mess with him."

Eilin inclined her head. "Then you shall assist me."

"Are you a close relative of his?" Perth asked and Eilin recognized a flare of fear in this man's eyes.

"Close enough to tell him not to bother you and for him to listen." Eilin raised her brow.

Perth pursed his lips and his hand tightened around the dirty rag he was using to clean his glasses. "Look Missus…I don't want that man's eyes upon my establishment. I'd suggest you leave."

"Not until you allow me to talk to your girls. Also I'd counter-suggest you keep your patrons respectfully away from me." Eilin returned derisively.

Perth paled and swallowed heavily. Then his eyes looked around the room. "No one bothers the Missus or they deal with me!" His voice boomed inside the large chamber.

A wave of fear rippled through the room. The musicians averted their eyes and started winding up their organs once more. The working girls turned their attention to their customers and they in turn tried to thoroughly ignore the red-headed temptation. Slowly the establishment picked up its usual unruly tempo.

Perth tilted his head. "You are clear, but I don't want you to stay here for long. I cannot warranty your safety. Half of my customers are drunk out of their minds and the other half are mad as a cackling witch. Someone as gorgeous as you will not be safe in here for long no matter what I say."

"I don't intend to stay for long. Just tell me if you have an older prostitute. Someone who had been working the trade for years. I just want to ask her some questions and then I will be on my way." Eilin rejoined curtly.

Perth's gaze was wary and persistent, but when he saw that Eilin was not backing away, he pointed at a grey haired woman who sat alone at one of the glummest corners of the Inn. "Tréasa is our oldest one. She is a living relic. She is deaf, blind and undoubtedly cracked in the brains. I don't think you will get anything out her, but we have no one else."

Eilin focused her on the elderly woman. "She will do." She said and walked over.

Perth's stared at Eilin persistently and when the bartender elbowed him he turned around annoyed. "What?"

"She a Princess indeed?" The woman nodded towards Eilin.

"Don't know, but she carries a very powerful sigil. Keep an eye on her. I don't want any trouble." Perth said.

-.-

"Are you Tréasa?" Eilin stood next the elderly woman.

Tréasa looked up and Eilin noticed that her eyes were glued shut with mucus. "Who is asking?" Her voice was surprisingly deep and unexpectedly calm.

"They told me you were deaf, yet you heard me very well." Eilin frowned.

"I am deaf to those I don't want to hear. Your voice is very gentle to my ears, young lady." Tréasa rejoined.

Eilin's lips ghosted a smile. "Thank you."

"You know my name, but I don't know yours." Tréasa noticed.

"I am Eilin."

Tréasa's brow creased. "You have a lovely name. It means to be bright…the one who shines."

Eilin sat across her. "I know."

"So are you bright? Do you shine? When you entered everyone fell silent and Perth was quick to defend you. You must be truly exceptional. Not everybody can handle Perth in this manner." Tréasa leaned forth.

"See me as another traveler and nothing more." Eilin's countenance sobered up.

"So what can I do for you?" Tréasa offered Eilin an unexpectedly clean smile with many healthy teeth.

This elderly woman's wrinkles were not enough to shroud an once beautiful face and even now in their dusk her hair seemed rather thick and well taken care off. She was also very clean, despite her tattered clothes. "I came here seeking the past." Eilin said quietly.

"You are seeking your past in such a place? You don't seem to belong here." Tréasa frowned.

"I used to work here a long time ago." Eilin rejoined.

"I don't seem to recognize your voice." Tréasa returned.

"We don't know each other. You probably got employed after I left." Eilin smiled.

"That seems reasonable enough." Tréasa returned.

"Possibly as reasonable as you seem. They told me you were crazy, but I witness nothing of the sort." Eilin observed.

"I am crazy for those who bother me. You don't." Tréasa rejoined with simplicity.

Eilin tilted her head. "And you are also rather astute as it seems. You have adopted the cleverest ways to keep people off your back."

Tréasa smirked. "Indeed I have. I am too old to be bothered honey. If a man comes along that is kinky enough to ask for my services I pretend to enjoy him. Usually though I make a few pennies by cleaning the working rooms and the communal bathrooms. Most people don't care about the blind, deaf and rather crazy cleaning lady."

Eilin's lips turned down sadly. "I am sorry."

Tréasa reached out and touched her hand. "Don't be. I lived a full life and have few regrets."

Eilin smiled. "That is so encouraging to hear."

"Your skin feels so smooth, you carry around you a scent of the most delicate flowers and your voice is so melodic. You are soft-spoken and rather knowledgeable. I will ask again. What questions could a treasure like you have for a place that smells of booze, tobacco and neglected morals?"

Eilin cringed and stared at the splintered surface of the table. Between the cracks she saw pieces of gum and traces of stale food. She felt her stomach turning and hesitated only for a few moments before lifting her head to meet the closed eyes of the old whore. "I want to enquire about a woman who worked this trade at least forty seasons ago, maybe more. Her name was Evelyn."

Tréasa frowned. "I've met this name many times in my life. You have to be more specific."

Eilin closed her eyes, already feeling the first traces of dissapointment coming along. "I really don't know much about her. Only her name and that she was involved with a Dwarf at some point in her life."

Tréasa chuckled. "That doesn't tell me much either. Dwarves are highly sought after in our trade. Primarily because they pay in gold and silver for our services. They don't come often and when they do they are a gift from heaven money-wise, but that is not all. These people….well….you must know what I am talking about."

Eilin frowned. "No, I don't. What are you saying?"

"You don't seem to know much about our trade despite telling me that you used to work here." Tréasa seemed suspicious.

Eilin pursed her lips. "I was a maiden, not a prostitute."

"Oh, well that makes sense." – Tréasa shrugged and then continued totally unfazed- "Dwarves despite their height have very big assets. They have very adept hands they know how to work masterfully around a woman's body, they are very thorough in their love making and some of them are very well endowed." Tréasa rejoined casually.

Eilin almost choked at her spit.

Tréasa laughed. "Your silence speaks volumes. Are you shocked?"

"A little." Eilin lied.

"All these tall men around who think they are a gift to any woman when compared to some of the stunted people I had taken….they are a joke." Tréasa grinned.

Eilin raised her brows. "Alright."

"Therefore what you told me about this Evelyn and her kinky taste in Dwarves…that's not rare either. I'd say it is common for us. Dwarves have an eye for detail which is appreciated in bed. Who wouldn't like a big dick accompanied by someone who knows how to use it? " Tréasa shrugged.

Eilin raised her hands and closed her eyes. "Enough….please."

Tréasa pursed her lips. "I won't shock you anymore my dear. Do you have any other details to give me?"

Eilin cupped her forehead and frowned. "What if I told you that she had a baby with a Dwarf and that he wished to marry her?" That was a shot in the dark, as Eilin didn't know if that part of Othin's information had been sincere.

Tréasa's face distorted for several moments and then she tilted her head. "Oh, I think I know whom you are talking about now…." She trailed off.

Eilin's eyes grew wide and she grasped Tréasa's hands tightly. "You do?"

Tréasa nodded. "Indeed I do. She was a spirited young lady, beautiful beyond count….too stunning to be a whore, but she was unlucky I suppose. She was born in the wrong place at the wrong time. She knew how to exploit her customers and she had an eye for the big life. She liked gold you know…a little bit too much and she was after anyone who had it. She used her good looks to lure in the richest customers and she tried to lock them down into a prolonged collaboration that would give her many profits. She never had a steady home. She worked everywhere she could, even on the road and she had a soft spot for Dwarves."

"Did you know her personally?" Eilin asked after a moment.

"Not that well. I've talked to her a couple of times about a customer or what have you, but nothing more than that. You see I was working in steady homes with specific cliental. She was more of a freelancer."

"So how did you hear about that Dwarf she got involved with?" Eilin frowned.

"That story got out fast because she ended up having a kid with him. I remember people said this guy wanted to settle down with her. I saw him a couple of times." Tréasa said musingly.

Eilin pressed her hands. "Do you remember how he looked?"

"Well he was short, but very well build….he was a warrior if I remember correctly, but he had fallen out of grace with his clan for some reason or another….I don't know the specifics…"

"Never mind that….his face, his hair…tell me about those." Eilin pushed.

"He had long ginger hair and green eyes. He was a rather handsome dude if I recall. Quite a catch, but he was poor and that was a problem for Evelyn. Apparently she got pregnant from him and they had a baby girl. He tried to settle down with her and I heard he even proposed, but she abandoned him for a better suitor like she always did. She was after the money, not after a quiet life with a poor but honest man. If I recall he was being rather heavily mocked by the rest of the crew, because he was so much in love with Evelyn. Many told him that she wouldn't settle down, but he didn't believe them. Well in the end he figured it out for himself I suppose. I remember hearing that she died rather poor, bitter and very lonely. She never managed to attain her dreams for a big life." Tréasa continued casually.

Eilin's soul sank and she felt endless sadness at how lonely her mother had been on her deathbed. "What happened to the baby girl, do you know?"

"I suppose she got rid of it." Tréasa shrugged.

"Gave it away?" Eilin felt her heart stopping.

"Gave it away, killed it. I don't know."

"Killed it?" Eilin whispered and rubbed her throat which felt painfully tight.

"That wasn't Evelyn's first baby. Don't be so sentimental." Tréasa's face hardened unexpectedly.

"What are you saying?" Eilin felt her voice fading out.

"Evelyn had many babies along the way like many of us did."

"Many?" Eilin muttered in disbelief.

"You know a drunken customer comes way too fast and in all the wrong places and then boom….we have a baby. Accidents happen, what can one do?"

"What happens to those accidental babies?" Eilin dag her nails in her palm to stop herself from screaming.

"They go down a drain…toilet…river…whatever. We have all done it honey, don't sound so shocked. We make a living from our bodies. We cannot go around feeding babies we never wanted with money we don't have." Tréasa sounded so dehumanized about something so sensitive that Eilin didn't know how to handle her emotions. The mother in her was seething with fury.

"So her baby with the Dwarf was accidental. A mistake…." Eilin murmured defeated.

"Most probably from Evelyn's side, I am not sure about that Dwarf's side of the story though. He seemed very smitten with the girl. He possibly wanted a kid with her, which was rather unfortunate." Tréasa continued.

Eilin leaned back and felt her world sinking in. Her mother had seen her as a mistake that is why she found it so easy to abandon her in this Inn. She never cared for a family….only for gold. The bitterness in her heart got trodden over cruelly by her desperate need to go find her father. The distance between this Inn and Erebor made the words of Othin too obscure to be remembered….she yearned to hear them again. She longed to be reassured that she hadn't been a complete mistake for her family.

As a mom who viewed her children as a blessing from the heavens, she couldn't understand Evelyn's decision. Her hand caressed her pregnant belly and her heart complained. When she closed her eyes several tears formed small streams upon her nose, which landed on her lips. She tasted their saltiness and the resentment towards her mother opened up above her heart like a dark halo. She took out a silk handkerchief and wiped the tears from her mouth.

Tréasa hesitated. "Hey are you crying?"

Eilin huffed. "No….yes…"

"Who was Evelyn to you, young lady?" Tréasa frowned.

Eilin pushed her chair back and stood up. "My mother." She said and dashed to the door. Suddenly this place couldn't contain all her emotions.

When the door crashed behind her she leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. It took her more than a few deep breaths to get a grip on herself. Suddenly she didn't want to be here anymore, she had to return to Hobbiton. Despite her awful argument with Thorin the only thing she wanted now was to open Bilbo's door and make sure he was still asleep on that armchair. Then she could tip-toe to the kid's bedroom and kiss each rosy cheek before locking herself in her rooms again.

She didn't belong in this dominion of debauchery. She didn't belong to the place where her mother sold her body and longed for the highest bidder to come along and get her out of her misery.

She ached to return to her husband, slap him across the face one last time and yell at him for what he did to her father, while silently imploring he'd escort her back to Erebor. She needed to see her father after ensuring that her family was alright. She needed to hear his side of the story again because they had both been victims in this bitter story.

Eilin pushed away from the wall and raced down the road without considering that she didn't have a horse and it was a long hike back to the Shire by foot. Nothing mattered to her at that moment…..only to return where she belonged.

Unfortunately though she didn't get the chance to do so, because once she abandoned the warm hue of the torches and entered the cold blackness a hand wrapped around her waist, another forced her mouth shut and a cold blade poked under her ribs. She inhaled sharply, but the dirty palm muffled the scream that tried to escape her.

"Hello poppet….remember me?"

Eilin's throbbing heart halted with a scream of terror and her eyes beheld horrified at the nightmare that she had never forgotten. The foul face of her tormentor was there hiding in the shadows with an ominous smile that send shivers up her spine and made her knees unlock. A definitive sense of impending doom washed over her and she tried to scream again to no avail.

"Silence my beauty….it is not time for you to scream yet, but soon enough you shall do so. Be patient." He drawled close to her ear.

Eilin felt like the world stopped turning for her and then there was only darkness….

* * *

 

Thorin felt a huge wet tongue slurping past his bearded jawline and wetting his cheek. The same slick sensation came to bathe his temple and then a drizzly nose touched his lips before that same tongue licked his mouth sloppily. He cringed and pushed that loving muzzle away with a grunt of annoyance. The happy giggle of Thrárin made him open his eyes.

"He likes you daddy!"

Thorin looked at the expressive brown eyes of the young black wolf Thrárin had adopted several days ago.

"Thrór likes you!" Thrárin clapped his hands.

"I still haven't decided that we are going to give the honorable name of your great grandad to this pup and didn't I tell you to keep him outside? What is he doing in here?" Thorin tried to push away the wolf who was trying to bury his muzzle in his armpit.

"It was too cold outside and he was crying all night long. I didn't want him to be alone in the dark daddy, I think he was afraid." Thrárin's lips pouted.

"What in the name of hell would a wolf be afraid of? Also it is hot as hell outside and I didn't hear any howling." -Thorin rebuked and shoved the cub away- "Can you not?" He grumbled, annoyed beyond reason.

"Oh, come on pet him please. Look how happy he is with you." Thrárin begged.

Thorin scratched the wolf under his ear who started waggling his tail like mad. "Why did I ever agree to let you have a pet tell me? Don't we have enough members in this family?"

The wolf released a low-pitch howl and his flapping tail slapped Thorin's thigh repeatedly with no signs of stopping.

"I think you like him too, that's why!" Thrárin pointed at his father happily.

Thorin shook his head, but before he had the opportunity to answer the door was thrown open so abruptly that Thrór came in front of the little boy in order to protect him and presented his pointy teeth. The moment Thorin saw the solemn face of Balin and the grim eyes of Dwalin he tensed. His fingers curled around the arms of his chair and his brow clouded. "What is the matter?"

"Come with me Prince Thrárin." Balin tried to get the child's hand, but the wolf began growling and yapping.

"Sit down Thrór! Uncle Balin is a good boy he doesn't mean any harm." Thrárin frowned at the wolf.

Before the old advisor had any time to answer Dis stormed the living room, followed by Loa and Bilbo who was looked utterly bewildered. Wordlessly she pushed past the young Prince and went straight for Eilin's bedroom.

Thorin's rising figure instantly commanded attention. "What is going here?" His voice was heavy.

"The Prince needs to follow Loa." Balin said emphatically.

Thrárin felt the tension from his dad and his face darkened with a fleeting shadow of fear. "Daddy?"

Thorin swept him in his arms and nestled his head under his neck. "Give me a moment love." -He caressed Thrárin's hair gently and then turned his demanding eyes to Balin-"What's happening? This is the last time I am going to ask…" His rich undertones held a warning.

"Laddie….tell the boy to go to his room please." Balin begged.

Thorin observed the solemn faces of the Commander of the Battalion and the Captain of the Royal Garrison and knew things were serious. He kissed Thrárin's cheek and passed him over to Loa. "Take him."

Thrárin frowned. "What's wrong daddy?" He mumbled and his eyes echoed with anxiety.

"I need to go to work now love. Go and try to rest some more. Loa will be there to look after you." Thorin caressed his red curls and kissed his temple.

Thrárin grabbed his father's warrior braids and pulled him down for a sloppy kiss that landed on his bearded jawline. "Okay, but I am not sleepy."

"You can play Dungeons & Dragons with Loa until your siblings wake up and then you can all have breakfast. Loa baked a very tasty honey cake yesterday and I almost ate all of it." Thorin forced himself to smile, but his mind was already on his men who were patiently waiting for him to address them.

Thrárin beamed up to him. "Perfect! I love board-games, but I love honey cakes even more." –When Loa started walking down the corridor he opened his hand and called his wolf- "Come with me puppy. Come with me Thrór!"

The wolf looked at the boy and then at Thorin, but chose to remain next to the King with admirable obedience.

When the door of the children's room closed Thorin turned to Balin. "Now speak."

"Laddie we have an issue with Eilin." Balin was fiddling nervously with his long beard.

"What's wrong with Eilin?" Thorin felt his heart plummeting the moment he heard his wife's name.

"She's not in your rooms." Dis came up from behind him.

He turned around sharply. "What?"

Dis swallowed heavily. "Eilin is not home wolf."

Thorin's face twisted in confusion. "What are you people saying?"

The old advisor shook his head. "That's what we came here to report to you."

"Report to me what? Wait…" -Thorin closed his eyes, feeling almost dazed- "Eilin is missing?"

"Yes." Balin nodded.

The first thought that came to his mind was that he didn't get to tell her goodbye and he instantly began arguing with himself inwardly at that inane idea.

_Why would I say goodbye to her? It's not like she left me forever._

_Yes, but that was the first thought that came to your mind. That she abandoned you._

_We got three kids, she is pregnant….she wouldn't have ever left me…_

_How can you be so sure? You failed her. You didn't become her pillar of strength. You mistreated her father and she only knows half of what you did to him. She told you she hated you…_

_Wait…_

"Wait…she is pregnant. Where would she ever go in her condition?" Thorin's difficulty to realize what he was being told was painful to everyone in the room.

"She is nowhere to be found laddie." Bilbo intervened.

"Your horse just returned empty from the forest and the Commander came straight to inform us." Balin rejoined.

"What does my horse have to do with all this?" -Balin opened his mouth to reply, but Thorin raised his hand- "Stop for a moment. Have you searched the village?"

Bilbo came closer, but he seemed hesitant to speak. His face was pale and his eyes were full of fear. "We searched everywhere. She is not here."

Thorin's smile was brief and uneasy. "No, that must be wrong. Did you go down to the market? Maybe she is out shopping for lunch."

Dis gritted her teeth. "You are not listening to us wolf. Eilin is missing!"

Thorin didn't look at his sister, but his hand came up once again. "Stop Dis." –Then he looked at Bilbo- "Have you checked The Mill?"

Bilbo shook his head. "She's not there, nor at the willow tree, or at the pier."

"Maybe she went to Bella." Thorin's countenance was clouded more with each negation.

"She is not at the Goodchilds either. Thorin she left the village. Two of your guards saw her riding in the middle of the night." Dwalin said urgently.

"Someone saw her out there alone in the dark and they didn't stop her?" Thorin's voice fell dangerously low.

No one answered.

Thorin felt all the muscles in his body tensing up simultaneously and he stormed down the corridor. He opened the door and his eyes lost part of their determination when he saw that their bed hadn't been slept in.

_What in the name of every God?_

Their talk last night at dinner had seemed civilized enough in front of the other. She left for the kid's bedroom without telling him goodnight and that showed how annoyed she was still with him, but he heard her singing to them. Her mesmerizing voice had enraptured him so much, that he had momentarily allowed himself to forget their bitterness and be lulled by her. Not once did he ever worry that he wouldn't see his wife the next morning.

Their marriage was under a serious strain, but she wouldn't just leave him and the kids like that. She wouldn't go missing without a serious reason. That was not like Eilin.

 _What does my horse have to do with any of this?_ His mind chimed in with the most random thought as Thorin's eyes stared at the table that was filled with papers last night. Now there was only a single paper on it neatly placed in the middle, waiting to be noticed.

Thorin released the door handle uncertain if his legs would be able to carry him to that accursed desk. When he reached it he caught himself up just in time before he collapsed physically and emotionally. He was overwhelmed by the numbness of his extremities and the ugly face of fear that was peaking behind the folds of his heart ready to tear it apart with its claws.

_No, this is surely a mistake. Eilin didn't leave me during the night. Eilin is never going to leave me….never…._

His hand was trembling when he reached for the paper and when his eyes began reading the few words Eilin had scribbled on it his whole body began quaking.

"I had to get away Thorin. I need to get a grip on my thoughts. I need time alone."

Thorin felt his lungs emptying and for a few terrifying moments he couldn't draw in breath. He grabbed the back of the chair to hold himself upright, lost his balance and the small furniture backed away under his substantial frame and toppled over. He staggered and caught himself upon the desk again. He looked at the paper breathless in a futile effort to convince himself that what he was seeing was a horrible dream and not reality.

It was the voice of Dis that drew him out of this nightmarish contemplations. "What did you find?" She muttered.

Thorin turned around and gave her the paper mutely. He was still making a valiant effort to kick-start his frozen heart. He looked at the shocked features of Dis as she read the few dry words. When Dis looked up at him her eyes were accusing. "She is pregnant…."

Thorin backed away towards the wall.

Dis' face twisted with insufferable agony. "What did you tell her you fool!?"

Thorin was unable to move. "I begged for her forgiveness…"

"You were too late! I told you to tell her the truth, didn't I? You were playing with fire and now that blaze is out to destroy your whole family!" Dis grabbed a book and send it flying over to him.

Thorin repelled it. "Stop it Dis!" That sudden attack made him draw out of that foggy limbo and gain focus once more.

"You send her away!" Dis shouted.

Thorin gritted his teeth and grabbed her by the shoulders. "Keep your voice down! I don't want the children to hear anything! I have enough frenzy from one woman in my life already. I cannot see you falling apart on me too. I didn't do anything to send her away. I told her that soon we were leaving for Erebor so she could see her father. Nothing happened after dinner last night. I went to sleep, while listening to her beautiful lullabies. I wouldn't have ever done anything to send her away. I wanted to make up with her. I cannot be blamed for every single wrong in the world Dis, enough of this blame game!" He thundered.

"Oh Gods I hope the kids never have to find out how their father failed their mother!" Dis hissed at him.

Thorin felt his heart being slashed opened anew and his eyes burning. He pulled away sharply. "That is painfully unfair, especially because it is coming from you. I thought you knew me better. I thought Eilin knew me better, but apparently I was wrong."

Dis' countenance overflowed with remorse and she tried to approach him. "I am so sorry wolf….oh heavens I am sorry!"

"If you dare mention anything to the kids Gerbil I swear you are going to feel my wrath. I don't know what was going on through Eilin's head when she left or what goes through yours now, but the kids stay out of this fucking mess. Do you understand?" He barked angrily.

Dis tried to get up, but her knees were unable to hold her. Her face was streaming. "Thorin you failed her…"

Thorin struck the table with so much force, it cracked. "Don't you think I know?!" He roared.

That explosion made Dis flinch.

Thorin closed his eyes and his hand became a formidable punch. "Stand up, get yourself together and please help me with my children." He tried to school his voice to remain calm.

Dis was looking at him bewildered.

"Did you hear me Gerbil?" His nose flared.

Dis nodded slowly. "Yes."

"When they wake up and ask for Eilin you will tell them that I have taken her to Erebor as was arranged only we left earlier. Do you understand?" Thorin found it unbearably difficult to remain composed at that moment.

"I will take care of them I promise. Please find your wife wolf…she's got a baby in her belly." Her bottom lip was quaking.

Thorin tried to push down the nausea that threatened to overcome him. "Pull yourself together and go to my children Dis. I got no one else to take care of them right now. Please." He helped her off the floor.

Dis embraced him tightly and her fingers curled up around his tunic. "How will you find her?" She was sobbing.

Thorin clenched his jawline and embraced her firmly. "I don't know, but I am not coming back unless I do." He whispered.

Dis froze for a long-tense moment and then nodded. "Go, I will look after them."

Thorin pushed her away and without looking back he hurried towards the living room. He couldn't find enough courage to look at the face of his broken sister again or revisit Eilin's forlorn letter. Even though his heart was frozen, his hands were numb and his legs were barely walking…even though his mind was firing images of their last argument so fast that he felt confused, Thorin knew that he needed to keep his composure. If not for himself, then for the sake of Eilin and his children.

He pushed past everyone in the living room and marched up to his Commander with terrifying ferocity. "Who was the last one who saw the Queen?"

Commander Garan pressed his fist above his heart and bowed deeply. "Two of my men your Majesty. She was riding on the Eastern Road towards Bree …."

Thorin's searing glare was enough to make the Commander quiver in his boots. "You mentioned something about my horse coming back empty…"

Garan winced. "She was riding your horse, my Lord."

Thorin stared at the two guards who were holding his horse by the bridle. "Where you the ones who saw the Queen last night?"

Garan bowed again. "Thoradut and Keldhud Sir."

Thorin beheld them with a deadly stare for several moments. He towered above them and lowered his chin. "Tell me what you saw." His original shock was now tailed by anger. An emotion that if focused properly it could allow him to take absolute control of every situation…however terrifying it was.

Keldhud bowed. "It was in the dead of night Sir and we were doing our rounds at the outer perimeter of the Eastern passage that leads past Bree when we heard horse hooves. When we realized it was the Queen we were surprised. She wanted to exit the outer perimeter without escort. We informed her that your orders were strict. No one was coming in and out without you knowing. However she commanded us to let her pass. She said that she was just going to take a small ride…"

"Did she seem distressed, like she had been crying, afraid maybe?" Thorin spoke over the guard.

"She was rather polite with us Sir. I didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. She told us that she was going to return before the break of dawn. When we saw the horse coming back without her we went straight to Commander Garan." Keldhud bowed.

"Who made the decision to allow her to leave without an escort or without informing the Commander?" Thorin raised his brow.

"Both of us Sir." Thoradut bowed respectfully, but is voice was rippling with nervousness.

Thorin stared at them for a long hard moment before a brutal punch fell upon Keldhud's face, smashing his cheekbone. The man fell down with a howl of pain. The next punch found Thoradut right in the nose and broke it, splattering blood down his chin and neck. The man fell like an empty shack next to his comrade.

Thorin stretched his neck, trying to alleviate the tension that was asking for more blood in order to be appeased. He mounted his horse and looked coldly at the bruised guards. "Take me to the place where you last saw the Queen."

Soon their horses were galloping madly upon the Eastern road that led to Bree. That is when Thorin's gaze lifted up to the sky. It took a single look from his burning azure eyes and the skyline filled with dozens of crows who had followed him from Erebor by the command of the Crow King and who were always prepared to do Thorin's bidding the moment they felt him calling them.

* * *

 


	43. Courage & Fury

 

* * *

Eilin's head was so heavy she had a difficulty lifting it, as for her eyes they felt glued together. She tried to move her arms, but they were tied steadfastly behind her back and even though her feet were not touching the ground, she was moving. The slumber from which she had woken up was making her head spin and all her thoughts were in a jumbled disarray. She shifted her upper body and suddenly she felt like she was sliding off the bony shoulder that poking at her stomach. Then a rather rude palm landed on her buttocks and relocated her until she was secure once more.

The hand squeezed her voluptuous bottom and a grunt of appreciation accompanied that. "She is waking up boss." A sluggish voice rumbled under her ribs and made her wince.

Suddenly all of Eilin's senses returned all together with dizzying speed, crushing her fragile consciousness with the ruthless reality of what had actually happened to her. The Queen gritted her teeth with a groan of denial.

_No that cannot be true. I cannot have been so stupid. I didn't faint again….no…just no…_

However the unmistakable steady pace of the man who was carrying her stated a different story. Eilin recalled how frantically she had hurried out of the tavern, bereft of fear about any possible danger. She was a ball of battered emotions after learning how little she had meant to Evelyn. It wasn't as if she hadn't suspected all these years that her mother mustn't have been too sentimental when it came to her child. She had abandoned her baby after all. However it was different suspecting the truth and hearing it laid out to you so coldly. The realization that she had been an accidental baby was enough to unravel her very core. She run into the darkness without thinking that she was in any peril….she run because she needed to get away from this place, but also because she ached to go back to her family and embrace her children. How could she had known there were shadows lying in wait, ready to crawl out from her ominous past, show their fangs and then grab her?

As she was being carried in the deepest part of the woods, Eilin wanted so much to believe that all this was a bloody nightmare and that soon she'd wake up in Bilbo's home. She would open the door and see Thorin asleep in the armchair. She'd tiptoe quietly and check the bruise that she had caused on his temple. Then she'd go to the bedroom of her children. They would all be sleeping peacefully and she'd rejoice that all this was nothing more than a bad dream. Then she'd walk to the kitchen and prepare breakfast. She would bake honey-buns for Durin who loved them and brew some honey milk for Thrárin and Rhianaye. She'd tell Loa to take a break and she'd even cook Thorin a hefty plate of eight eggs and ham, just like he liked it even though she was still pissed off as hell with him. Their argument would matter little, because she would be safe back with her family once more.

She longed so much to take hope from this escapism, however the shoulder under her stomach was way too rigid and she could feel the bones pressing her ribcage. She could clearly hear the man's strained breaths along with two separate pair of footsteps ahead of her. Her abuser was right there. Her past had reared its ugly head through the gloomy shroud of the night in order to persecute her.

Eilin felt the light drizzle dousing her cheek and she could hear the tapping of the soft rainfall upon the dry leaves. She was even able to smell the freshly watered ground…a scent that always pacified her soul, now did next to nothing to alleviate the terror that was haunting her closed eyelids. Suddenly everything felt like mere trifles to her….her argument with Thorin, the need to see her father, the way her mother treated her.

She gritted her teeth as she bounced roughly upon a bony shoulder, unable to forget the repugnant voice that had called her poppet. The feeling of debilitating nausea returned as the petrifying images of her rape smothered her mind. She recalled so vividly his slimy voice, his filthy presence, his cold hands...his...his...

She couldn't really blame herself about how stupidly she had reacted when her abuser pressed the knife under her ribcage. She did what she had been doing when she was terrified all this time. The faint spell had come out of nowhere to protect her, but this time it had accomplished to do the exact opposite. Fainting had only succeeded to throw her in the arms of these beasts and become her ultimate doom.

Eilin felt her tears being absorbed by the cloth that was covering her eyes and knew that she was close to fainting once more, but she didn't want to allow herself to fail again.

This stupid fainting-spell is what landed her in this horrendous situation in the first place. Had she been awake she might have managed to scream at the very least. That would have alerted the patrons of the Inn and she might have been safe now back home….caressing the peachy cheeks of Thrárin, brushing Rhianaye's long black hair and gazing into the piercing blue eyes of Durin….She would have been able to hug Thorin tightly and tell him how grateful she was for their family despite their differences.

Instead now she was on her way to being raped again…or possibly to a horrendous death. Her body shuddered hard and she groaned. Death would have been preferable once upon a time in the face of another abuse, but now that she was pregnant she didn't want to die. The first thing on her mind was her children….all four of them. She couldn't allow herself to die.

 _Would you allow yourself to be raped again in order to save your life?_ The inner question was ruthless.

Eilin felt such a strong wave of denial flowing through her spine that she jerked hard. Her captor lost his hold and she landed on the ground with a heavy moan. Sharp pain pierced her shoulder, but that didn't deter her from attempting to move her legs only to find that they were tightly secured. She had to get away before she went mad. After her rape, the thought of it ever being repeated always send her mind gyrating into insanity.

 _You were not a mother back then…_ Her mind chimed in.

The truth of that realization felt like a breath of fresh air that allowed her to think a bit more clearly. She was a mother now, she couldn't afford to faint and let her tormentor fulfil his sick desires with her body again. Her babies needed her…her husband needed her….her family was back in Hobbiton probably not even aware that she was missing and they all needed her, but above all she needed them. She was part of that beautiful family and she was not willing to permit her terror to destroy all that for her….no matter what.

"Are you bloody stupid? Why did you throw her in the ground?"

Eilin's foregoing conviction that she wasn't going to bow down to her fate, wavered hard when she heard the voice which was patched up from the threads of her most petrifying dreams. For a few brief moments she forgot what she had been so determined about. She could only feel waves of fear chasing her spine, chilling her to the bone. As for her stomach it twisted so violently she almost threw up in her mouth.

 _Concentrate on your kids…don't faint. You cannot faint!_ Her mind commanded.

Eilin inhaled sharply and tried to bite the cloth in order to be able to breathe better, as the voice of that monster threatened to destroy her sanity. If she could manage to create a shroud from the faces of her family and toss it above the blood-curdling terror that threatened to spread her to the four corners of the earth then she'd be fine.

 _I will be fine…I can do this…_ She tried to convince herself.

"I didn't throw her down on purpose Gareth, she was wiggling like a worm and she slipped." The sluggish voice drawled.

Eilin wished she could adopt Thorin's famous level-headedness in tough situations right now. It would have done her a world of good. Instead there she was fighting hard not to faint.

 _You have to get a hold of a weapon somehow, break your bonds and make a run for it you bloody idiot!_ Her mind chastised.

"Pick her up and be more careful next time. We haven't reached the hide-out yet and we are not safe lingering out here for no reason!" The voice of Eilin's bogeyman rejoined harshly.

"Why cannot we have her right here boss? Why do we have to drag her through the whole forest? That's too much work just for a quick fuck." A rather slimy voice resounded from behind her.

Eilin shivered at those words.

"Who said anything about a quick fuck you idiot? I am going to take my time with this one. She is not the same as all the others." The bogeyman drawled.

 _He has raped more women than me?_ That thought shouldn't have surprised her too much, however it did.

Eilin felt her lungs squeezing hard, making breathing a rather difficult task.

"And we have to wait for you to finish before we have a go at her…great." The sluggish one sounded fed up.

"Can you shut up before I tie your tongue to the back of your nape? Yes, you will wait for me to finish with her before you do anything. You got a problem with that?" Her Boogeyman spat angrily.

Eilin felt a pair of cold fingers stroking her naked shin and she revolted. A flurry of groans and half-spat curses exploded from her chest as she tried to get away from the disgusting slug that was crawling up her thigh. Suddenly a rough hand curled around her hair and pulled her head up so violently that she felt several locks being torn from the roots. The scream was muffled by the cloth. "I am going to take my time with my possession like I have done in the past, right poppet? You remember how thorough I had been with you, don't you?"

Another ripple of faint tickled her mind and the world flickered on and off.

"Uhm boss I don't think she can answer with that thing on her mouth." The sluggish voice intervened.

A hand that smelled of urine came under her nose and pulled away the cloth. Eilin gagged and spat, desperately trying to get rid of that foul stench. The same hand twisted in her hair and she stifled a scream.

"Answer to my lackey poppet. Do you remember how thorough I had been with you when you were younger? I know you do because I was your fist and a woman never forgets her first good fuck."

The world began dimming away and her breathing became erratic. - _Think of your children…- "_ Fuck? You think you fucked me? That was a bloody rape and it wasn't even done properly…I remember three painful thrusts and you coming undone like a bloody invalid you filthy motherfucker, but then again what did you expect from someone so incompetent? No woman would ever have you willingly so you result in raping them…Are you truly proud of yourself or are you really that stupid?" She spat with hatred.

The hand around her hair became a tight fist. "You bitch…." He hissed.

The sluggish voice released a shrill laughter, which resounded in the forest. "Did she just tear you down boss?"

Eilin saw the toothless grin of Thrárin behind her closed eyes and took up heart. She spat at his face and her saliva caught him between the eyes. "You think you abducted the same little girl you raped many years ago? You have no idea who you are dealing with, you blood-sucking leech!"

Absolute silence governed the clearing and she almost…almost felt giddily victorious

"Oh, the Queen of the North is feisty as hell! That was unexpected. I don't think she is going to go down without a fight." The sluggish voice harked.

"Good…I like that." Her abuser drawled. The punch came out of nowhere and caught her upper cheekbone. She felt the bone crushing and a white bolt of pain shot behind her closed eyes. She fell down with a grunt of defeat and knew right then and there that she was possibly not going to make it alive. The wish to touch the faces of her children and give one final kiss to her husband returned a thousand-fold and enwrapped her with an imaginary warmth that made the throbbing pain under her eye a little more bearable. The hand twisted around the base of her head and pulled her up again.

"Apparently the little timid maiden gained some audacity after marrying that Dwarf-Scum. Did the King of the North rub off some defiance upon you, my pretty fairy?" The Bogeyman whispered in her ear.

Eilin's stomach revolted and her lips curled up, revealing her teeth. "I had that defiance planted inside the moment you forced yourself on me, you assclown!"

Another laughter this time came from both the Sluggish voice and the Groveling one. "Oh boss, this is going to be a gutsy one. You didn't describe her so aggressive before we agreed to help out."

Eilin sneered. "Did you tell them that I was going to come easy? That I'd start crying and begging for mercy like I did back then? Is that what turned you on? My cries for help? Well you won't get those from me now…you shitstain!"

"My oh my she's got quite a vile mouth and an attitude to accompany it. Does your King knows you swear so much? I thought a Queen would have been daintier than this. She's got the brashness of a bloody miner." The groveling voice teased.

"No I reserve this foulness only for the fags who deserve it!" She barked.

Another punch came, it was even stronger than the previous one and it landed on her ribs, stealing completely her ability to breathe. She erupted in a flurry of rough coughs as the pain spread upwards to her armpit and back to her shoulder blade.

"I am going to cripple you and then I am going to fuck you so hard your insides are going to slide through your nose, honey-pie. How does that sound to you?" The Bogeyman whispered close to her lips.

The foul stench that was coming from his mouth ignited her need to throw up. However the solemn face of her husband appeared before her closed eyes. He shook his head with austerity. _–Shape up dove! Don't let them see you beaten down….-_ Eilin swallowed her vomit and gagged. "With what dick do you intend to accomplish that formidable task? I hope you don't mean the traces of that little bean that you hide in your pants…" She snarled.

A hand wrapped on her throat and started choking her. "With the same one that almost bled you to death several years ago." Came the hard rebuke.

Eilin felt her eyes bulging out of her skull as her throat was being crushed. Her body started wriggling violently in a final effort to be free from the claws of death that were asphyxiating her. Suddenly the hand was lurched aggressively away from her throat and she fell back to the forest floor panting and gagging.

"Enough!" -The sluggish voice rejoined and this time it held some unexpected firmness in it- "You didn't say anything about throttling the Queen of the North. I am not into this stuff. If you wanna go for a kill, you will have to do it alone."

"We abducted her and soon the wrath of the Dwarves shall be upon us. We need to stick together through this. Don't fight!" The Groveller rejoined.

"We need to get her to the lair and have our ways with her as soon as possible. Then we need to split up and forget we ever met." The disinterested Slug replied coldly.

"I agree." The Groveller returned eagerly.

"However we won't help you kill her Gareth."

 _Gareth…_ Eilin shuddered when she heard the name of her rapist.

"I won't kill her before having my ways with her, don't worry…" The Bogeyman's empty voice rushed through her blood like the most potent poison.

Eilin wiped the saliva and blood from her mouth upon the leaves and tried to stop her body from quivering too hard.

"Pick her up and let us go." The Bogeyman said.

Eilin heard his boots crushing the leaves as he walked away from her and she exhaled sharply. – _You survived the first encounter. You are stronger than you think.-_ Thorin's voice sounded proud in her imagination.

"Come on my precious prize. It is such a pleasure to carry the shapely body of the most stunning Queen of Middle Earth upon my shoulders." The Slug snorted and slapped the cloth back on her mouth.

Eilin rebelled at being forcefully silenced once more. She began squirming trying to make this man's life a living hell as he tried to lift her up. She couldn't attack them in any other manner, but she could certainly use her mouth to offend them and for some peculiar reason that made her feel empowered. She grunted when he dropped her on his shoulder and that damned bone began poking her bruised ribs. The pain was so sharp that she almost lost consciousness again….but the image of the baby in her belly made her refocus.

 _You have a baby in you and you need to stay alive in order to bring it to this world. Their daddy is waiting impatiently for them…and so is the rest of Erebor. Little Orin or baby Ida are going to be born. I will the do the best I can to stay alive for them and for my family. They are going to be born warriors not only because their father is one of the most legendary ones in Middle Earth, but because their mother is a fierce one too…-_ She tried to find courage in those words.

– _We are not alone anymore Eilin…-_ Thorin's voice reminded her.

They were not alone anymore. They were parents and parents did the best they could for the well-being of their children. She was not alone anymore, she was carrying a baby in her womb that longed to be born in the legendary family of the Longbeards and take his or her place rightful place next to their brother, under the Arkenstone. They were meant to help Durin lead the North and make their father smile once more.

Eilin's mind became very attentive of their surrounding and she understood that if these monsters took her deeper into the woods, Thorin would never be able to find her. She had to leave something behind to declare that she had been in this part of the forest and that she wasn't there willingly. Something that she would have never parted with no matter what.

Her wedding ring.

Her brows creased and her fingers took firm hold of the very expensive band. It took her several moments to pull it out since her hand was swollen as the ropes were cutting off her circulation.

She hadn't taken her wedding ring off ever since the day they got married and she had sworn to wear it even in her grave. Now as she was throwing it upon the ground, her heart kindled the faded hope that maybe Thorin would find it and understand the danger she was in. She hoped that it wouldn't get buried under the leaves to be found centuries later by some unwary traveler.

She hoped it would lead her husband to her before she ended up raped and dead in some forgotten cave. She didn't want her family to mourn for her, she wanted to survive… she wanted to return to them.

_Find it please Thorin, don't let our ring get lost. Can I still be mad at you and pray that you find it and come to me even so?_

The fear was lingering icily cold at the edges of her consciousness, but the Queen knew this time she was not going to go down without a ferocious fight. If she was going to die at least her children and her husband would be proud that she died -in Thorin's words- "Sword at hand."

* * *

 

The rainfall had drenched Thorin's hair, which were sticking in long silver and black strands across his cheekbones. His azure eyes abandoned the scene of destruction that was taking place in front of him and they gazed at Thrárin's wolf who had managed to follow the fierce gallop to Bree with surprising ease. Thorin didn't even think about that poor animal when he stormed out of the Shire as his mind had only one point of focus….

…Eilin…

The wolf yelped when the King stared at, but Thorin was not spirited enough at that moment to respond to the cub's signs of affection. His gaze turned to the skies where he heard several caws. A flutter of anticipation awoke his heart and he swallowed heavily. When one of his soldiers dragged a woman by the arms across the plaza and she begged for the King's mercy, he didn't even hear her voice. So concentrated he was at one of his crows who circled majestically above him a couple of times before landing on his shoulder.

Another villager got dragged mercilessly out of his abode, but the King remained impassive as the crow related their inability to trace the Queen. Then Thorin's eyes closed down and his lips twitched ever so slightly. That was the only representation of the endless despair he felt.

Thorin opened his eyes after several moments and looked indifferently towards the plight of the village of Bree while his soldiers plundered through every building with unmatched ferocity. They didn't knock in order to ask for information about the Queen. The brought down every single door and dragged the people out in the street, before they went back to search for anything that could give them a clue about Eilin's whereabouts. Thorin had been through this village several times in his long lifetime. Whilst he was in exile he had acquired work here at the sword-smith who was next to the Prancing Pony. The middle aged man had been relatively good to Thorin and had assisted in his predicament when money was running low, but he hadn't been all that honest nor very loyal to his employee. Thorin created swords for mere pennies, but back when they were in exile that was more than enough and he never questioned Drustan even though he was being robbed. His family was cold, sick and in need of an abode. That was more than enough to shut up Thorin's need to claim his rights.

Thorin knew this village well, but as it seemed this village didn't remember him at all….or at least they couldn't recognize the King in him when they had known only the pauper.

He sat on his proud horse and his eyes blinked emotionlessly at the crying women and the scared children. They observed the men that were being towed in the middle of the square and he tried to find a way to appease the fiery beast that threatened to get lose and destroy everything in its path to find Eilin.

Dwalin's horse appeared through the mayhem and soon it stopped next to the King's. "No one has seen her and she is nowhere to be found."

"Plunder everything, don't leave a single stone unturned, torture if you must until someone remembers if they have seen my wife." Thorin's voice was completely unemotional.

Dwalin rubbed his forehead. "That would elicit false information just to appease you. They don't have a reason to lie about something like this Thorin. I believe them."

"This road doesn't divert into any other paths. Unless Eilin decided to let go of my horse and walk alone inside a very dense and unmercifully dark forest, then she went past the gates of Bree and possibly entered it." Thorin continued coldly.

Dwalin shook his head. "All she was stalled before even reaching it. We have searched every single home. There is no sign of her."

"Search more." Thorin arched his brow and his eyes seared through Dwalin's.

Dwalin gritted his teeth. "I know you are in absolute agony, but we must think reasonably. Destroying the village won't bring Eilin back to you, listen to me."

"Turn everything upside down and inside out until someone speaks." Thorin's voice dropped low.

"You've worked here in the past. This place has provided food for your family." Dwalin tried to reason.

Thorin's response was an icy glare.

Dwalin lowered his head. "Very well. At your command." He said and led his horse through the chaos.

Thorin remained frozen with his hands loosely holding the reins and his eyes observing apathetically at the pandemonium he had created in his quest to understand how Eilin could disappear into thin air. The guilt that was battering his soul was fighting with the unstoppable fury that threatened to destroy everything in its path. Had he told Eilin the truth none of this would have happened. His nightmare came true, because of his stubborn decisions. He caused her to erupt, he made her draw away from him and isolate herself, he helped her run away from The Shire and disappear. Now he stood there all regal, with eyes that were full of animosity towards the world when that cruelty should have been directed inwards instead.

However this unbridled fury was not directed only towards the villagers. It was fixed upon Eilin as well. No matter how afraid he was about her fate, he was also furious with her for abandoning their family and storming into the unknown without any escort whatsoever. She knew that danger was always present for their family. She was not the nameless maiden anymore. She was the Queen of the North and many villains would have jumped at an opportunity to get their hands on her.

She may have not known the awful nightmare that Thorin had seen…the one which gave him the accursed premonition that something dreadful was going to happen to her…but she knew better than to leave unescorted. No matter how awful their argument had been, or how much she thought she hated him there was no excuse for this irresponsible behavior. Maybe his anger was an easier emotion to handle than the terror that lurked underneath at the possibility of never finding her….of never seeing her again.

His fingers twisted around the reins and his chest welled….No he didn't want to think of that possibility…he wouldn't ever allow that possibility to happen. He'd turn the world upside down in order to find her. He'd rage war towards the four points of the horizon. He'd bring down Kingdoms and destroy cities, but he'd find her. She wouldn't disappear into the darkness like his father had done. Upon that thought his eyes burned and an invisible hand tightened around his throat, suffocating him. It was easier to feel anger…uncontrollable wrath…fury at having lost her…than been terrified of never seeing her again, like it had happened with Thrain.

He wanted to kindle that fury and then cast it upon her the moment he found her, because there was no doubt that he was going to find her.

The familiar rage took over his frozen body, sending waves of heat through it, animating it once more and he felt much more in control. The only thing he wanted was to find her, hug her so tight she'd suffocate and then yell at her like no tomorrow. Then he'd drop at her feet and ask her forgiveness before coming up to shout at her for abandoning him and their children once more. All those emotions kept clashing inside him, on one hand freezing his blood with unspeakable terror and on the other making his skin crawl with uninhibited wrath.

No matter how many cries for help or pleads for mercy were directed towards him his mind was focused only on her. The world didn't matter to him anymore…. If he had to level down every village in his path he would do so without any consideration for the lives lost or to how his actions would impact the Northern Alliance and his Kingship. Middle Earth was going to suffer if he couldn't find his wife.

Thorin eyes turned towards Dwalin who was pulling a man by a rope and he instantly recognized him. His brow came up deliberately slow.

"Please stop in the name of Eru. You are destroying our homes!" The man's voice was broken.

"Don't appeal to the Gods Drustan. There is only mortals here." Thorin returned heavily.

"Why are you doing this Thorin?" Drustan's eyes were full of tears.

"Have you seen the Queen of the North?" Thorin rejoined coldly.

"No one has, we already told you!" Drustan erupted.

Thorin didn't seem to acknowledge the man's frustration. "You have guards at your gates all day and all night and no one saw this beast riding past with a female rider? Are you mocking me?" He pointed at his ferocious horse.

"No, Thorin I swear! The guards didn't see anyone. Maybe they were drinking on duty and they don't want to admit it. However they don't remember the Queen passing by this road." Drustan protested.

Thorin gave a weighty side-glance at Dwalin. "Level the place."

Drustan burst forth and grabbed the reins of Thorin's horse. "Mercy us! Why do you wish to destroy our families? What have we ever done to you? We worked together for years. This village provided food for your family and shelter for the sick of your kin. We never treated you badly. We were always here to assist those in need…."

"Don't act benevolent when we both know that was never the case. You used me. You exploited my labor. The swords I created were worth many coins of gold and you only gave me the minimum in order to survive. I am certain endless coins magically slipped out of my pockets and into yours. How did you manage to upgrade your shop to such an expanding business with a dozen employees? We worked in a shed with two anvils, just you and me. Everything started picking up after the swords I created and the prestigious name I made for you. When I left you didn't give me any extra coins even though you knew my sister was pregnant with her first child and she needed a warmer coat for the journey. You are not my worst enemy, but neither are you a friend. This village means nothing to me. I repeat have you seen the Queen of the North?" Thorin rebuked dryly.

Drustan's eyes darted back and forth. "No matter how stained the history between us might be Thorin Oakenshield, we would have never lied to you about your wife. No one saw her. You are destroying the lives of innocent people. I know you well enough to understand that this is your grief acting, not the real you. Please allow my people to keep their homes intact. You have seen your home being destroyed by that beast, you have lived in exile and you know the pain of seeing your life wrecked in the blink of an eye. I implore you don't inflict the misery that you have already gone through to other people. I know your heart is in the right place. It always has been no matter the controversies. Everyone knows how just you are."

Thorin's brow arched. "If I don't find Eilin everything in my path will be burned to ashes…." His lips curled up to reveal his teeth and his eyes charred with the long forgotten fire of war.

"Even innocents?" Drustan frowned.

"Everyone…" Thorin's undertone send waves of terror up Drustan's back.

"Let me pass! Let me talk to him! I need to see him!" A voice came from behind the wall of soldiers that were aligned at the main entrance of the village.

Thorin's brows creased ever so slightly when he saw a rather gawky fellow trying to get away from one of the guards.

"No one is to leave the village!" The guard thundered and brought the tall man down effortlessly.

"I have information about the Queen…please let me talk to the King!" The man hollered.

Thorin's body tensed up so abruptly that his horse felt it and stirred nervously. "Bring him to me!" His voice boomed.

"Vihn, I was trying to explain to the King that no one has seen the Queen…" Drustan frowned angrily.

Vihn pushed past the guards and knelt down heavily. "My King of Kings hear me out I beseech you."

Thorin gazed at him coldly.

"Your Majest, Drustan is right. Our guards didn't see the Queen and if you allow us the opportunity we are going to interrogate them and find out why they had been so irresponsible in their duty."

"Who are you?" Thorin's eyes thinned.

"I am the new mayor of the village. I have taken over a month ago from the previous mayor who sadly passed away." Vihn bowed his head.

"Do you know anything about the Queen or not? Wasting my time won't save your village." Thorin's nose flared.

Vihn shook his head. "I am here to confirm that our guards didn't see her and that is probably because they were not at the gates. They were drinking hidden in some dark alcove, but you can be sure they will be punished severely."

Thorin pulled the reins and turned the horse around. "I don't have time for this. Bring the place down." He commanded Dwalin.

Vihn got up and rushed in front of Thorin's black steed. He raised his hands. "Sir please listen to me! The guards didn't see her, but old Thomas the usual drunkard who sleeps at the back alley of the "Cowardly Astrologer Pub" said that he saw a black horse with a woman riding past Bree. She missed him by a hair's inch. She was heading towards the "Cuddly Mercenary Inn". It is half a day's ride up this road, you cannot miss it. Maybe they will be able to help you more than we did."

Thorin's brows furrowed. "The Cuddly Mercenary? I don't know that name."

"It is an old Inn that keeps changing names and owners. It works mostly as a brothel and a very nasty hostel, but the last owner is trying to upgrade it." -Vihn pointed down the empty road keenly- "I can lead you to it, but even if you go alone you cannot miss it."

Thorin felt his heart sinking and a black veil of dread suddenly spread all over his body. "Do you remember the original name of the place?"

Drustan licked his lips. "Sure. The Forsaken Inn."

_Of course…Eilin said that bloody tavern was close to Bree. How could I have forgotten that?_

Thorin's stomach tilted backwards and his hands became tight fists as adrenaline suddenly pumped through his veins. He turned to Dwalin and the icy hand of premonition tickled his spine and raised all his hair in attention. "Keep the villagers in the central plaza, but allow the women and the children to return to their abodes. Barricade all the entrances. No one comes in or out of this place until further notice. We ride east."

Dwalin nodded and hurried for his horse. "At your command."

Thorin's eyes fell on the crow that was perched on his shoulder and instantly it knew that it had to fly over the eastern forest with its comrades and scour the area around the "Forsaken Inn". Then he set his horse in a fierce gallop without waiting for his men to follow.

Drustan knelt heavily on the ground and gave a guarded look towards Vinh who nodded apprehensively. That had been a very close call. However their fate hadn't been decided yet. As the King rode to the east and several horses that carried heavily armed soldiers followed him, the rest of the battalion remained in Bree, keeping the village under siege. Both the mayor and Thorin's old employer prayed the King of the North would learn something about his Queen at that Inn.

Maybe then he would spare Bree and all these innocent lives.


	44. Escape the wolf

"You looked pissed off." Dwalin noticed.

Thorin didn't reply.

His eyes were glassy as he stared at the “Forsaken Inn”, the very place where Evelyn abandoned the future Queen of the North. He knew its layout, the number of rooms on each floor, the location of communal bathrooms and how many secret chambers where in the cellars for the special clients. Eilin had talked about this place so many times after waking up from a nightmare. He remembered every word she ever told him and all the violent emotions that tormented her when she spoke of it.

Furthermore he never forgot that this was the place where her womanhood got defiled or that it was the place where Karunn found Eilin's baby belt and almost destroyed them ten years ago. This building may have accepted the baby Eilin through its doors and may have helped the child grow up, however it stained his wife’s soul with endless torture, unrelieved poverty and forgotten morals for years on end. It abused her labor, the pureness of her heart and in the end her body against her will.

Eilin hated this place….and so did he.

Whenever she talked to him about it, her eyes were full of loathing. Nevertheless no matter how many times Eilin declared that she abhorred "The Forsaken Inn", when the moment of truth came she headed straight for it. After their argument she slipped out of Bilbo's home in the middle of the night despite having an obligation to their children above all …in order to come to this unholy place.

Eilin’s irresponsible decision was truly rubbing him the wrong way. Not only had this place attributed to her endless torture when she was young, but also it had probably played a key role in her disappearance now as well.

Thorin’s fists stiffened around the reins and he closed his eyes as another unbearable wave of wrath threatened to choke him.

* * *

 

_He remembered the face of his father…his piercing blue eye looking imploringly towards the young Thorin as he stood trembling with fear in front of his unconscious mother. He remembered clearly that this was the turning point where his mind began confusing fear with anger and switching one emotion for the other. He recalled how his ultimate terror about the health of his mother was too unbearable to handle….it was an emotion that he couldn't find a way to control. His heart was simply powerless to deal with the possible finality of what he was seeing and he found himself lost in a welter of confusing emotions that he didn’t know how to deal with. The disarray that reigned havoc in his young brain made him even more terrified as he stood there with his eyes surging with tears and his small hands clenched into tight fists._

_"She is going to be okay son." Thrain tried to approach him._

_Even though Thorin's heart yearned to be solaced he pushed his father away aggressively._

_Thrain's brows knotted. "What is wrong with you? I just told you that your mother will be alright. The best medical men are taking care of her. She is on her way to full recovery."_

_"Then why are her eyes closed?!" The young Thorin hollered._

_"Because she still needs to rest. Her fall from that rock hadn't been easy on her body son." Thrain tried to approach again._

_"Stay away!" Thorin yelled and tried to wipe the tears from his eyes. He was unable to understand why he wasn't afraid anymore. Instead a blazing fury had taken over his heart._

_"You need to calm down …please." Thrain tried._

_Thorin shoved him away even more violently. "What happens if she dies? Who is going to tell Dis and Frerin that mom died? Who is going to be here for us?!"_

_"Me…I will always be here for you my boy." Thrain's eye teared up._

_"You are not enough!" Thorin pointed at him furiously._

_"Your mother is not going to die. Please believe me…she is on the road to recovery. Please Thorin…calm down…" Thrain tried another approach to the angry hysteria that had taken over his oldest son._

_The young Prince didn't allow his father to approach or try to solace him because he was worried his anger would be pacified and the fear would return again. He didn't like feeling afraid. He hated that emotion…he couldn't control it….while anger was much more manageable….it helped him focus. The young Prince stormed out of his parent's bedroom, run to the armory and took out all his wrath on the weapons. He attacked the storage rooms with unprecedented ferocity. When all that fury had been finally appeased he sat in the midst of the chaos he had created feeling cleansed and blessed that the fear for his mother had abated at least a little. That was the first moment in his life that he felt gratitude for his anger._

_Even though his mom indeed made a miracle recovery three days later and lived for many more years, Thorin knew that anger had helped him cope in a very stressful situation where he was agonizing over the well-being of someone he loved…._

* * *

 

The same coping mechanism had taken over now that his wife was missing. The original wave of terror that made his stomach clench, his heart freeze and all his extremities to turn numb was over-taken by a controlled bout of anger, which he felt grateful for. It was much easier to become furious at this establishment or at Eilin for leaving during the night unescorted, than allowing the mind-numbing terror about her safety to debilitate him.

The Inn's torches were throwing an orange hue upon the street which barely touched the longs legs of the King's black horse. Nothing betrayed that behind him there was a squadron of at least a hundred soldiers waiting for his orders. The light of the fires toyed inside his stormy eyes.

"How can you be so sure she passed through this place? She might have gotten lost in the wide untapped area around Bree or even beyond it." Dwalin continued.

Thorin swallowed heavily. "She came through this place."

Dwalin frowned and looked at the sign of the Inn that was swinging lazily. "How do you know?"

Thorin nodded quietly. "I know this place well. I have heard of it many times."

"Whence from? I don't remember ever stopping in this Inn when we were in exile. I don't even remember passing it during our endless journeys." Dwalin pursed his lips.

"Oh, we passed in front of it many times Dwalin, but we never entered which is rather unfortunate." Thorin flared his shoulders.

"Unfortunate?" Dwalin gave him a guarded look.

Thorin looked at him in apathy for several moments. "Had we entered back then I would have discovered my wife much sooner."

The suspicious frown upon Dwalin's face, melted away in shocked confusion. "Oh Mahal, its Eilin's tavern…"

Thorin inclined his head. "She didn't divert anywhere in between. She came straight for this place."

Dwalin swallowed heavily and pulled the reins in order to calm down his horse that was moving nervously. "Your orders."

Thorin's jawline clenched. "Raid it." He said flatly.

Dwalin wielded his heavy war axe and looked behind his shoulder. "Follow me! Drag everyone out by force! We don’t leave a single stone unturned!"

One and all followed the Commander inside the Inn, leaving Thorin alone outside, except from the constant presence of Thrárin's wolf who had followed him from the Shire. Thorin's eyes blinked unemotionally at the commotion that erupted inside the Inn the moment Dwalin broke the door down. He gazed at the Inn quietly while his ears were feasting at the endless screams of confusion, fear and pain as his men were wreaking havoc.

As time rolled by the ferocity with which the tavern was attacked became brutal and Thorin eyed the windows which were shattering one after the other. At some point a man was flung through the broken panels and the King observed in total apathy as the man landed onto the deck below unconscious. The side of Thorin’s mouth curled up in a vicious smile, which warped his usually beautiful and composed countenance.

When finally his soldiers began lining up the patrons and the employees in front of the entrance, the mayhem inside had quietened down. The last one who walked out was Dwalin who was pushing a rather bulky and tall man who seemed uncooperative.

"Move it!" Dwalin barked.

"You destroyed my Inn! I am going to make you pay for it, you son of a bitch!" The man pulled his hands free and made an attempt to attack the battle-hardened bodyguard. Despite the superior height of the owner it was easy for Dwalin to bring him down with a very precise punch on the ribs, which send the man to the ground with a groan of pain. Dwalin stretched his shoulders and the muscles on his forearms flexed. "Tie him up and bring him to the King." -He commanded and then walked back to Thorin- "We turned the place inside out. Eilin is not in there."

"Has anybody seen her?" Thorin looked at the people who were lined up in front of the Inn.

"No one seems to know anything. I think they are lying." Dwalin crossed his arms and huffed indignantly.

A malicious spark toyed in the eyes of the King as he alighted. "Who is the owner?" He drawled.

"Perth…that tall, bald dude who isn't so accommodating." Dwalin nodded towards the man who was being restrained by three guards.

Thorin crossed his arms behind his back and walked calmly to the men and women who were looking at him with dread in their eyes. He stopped and observed them for a couple of tense moments haughtily. "Has any of you seen a stunning red-head coming through this place last night? She belongs to my kin."

Several people exchanged looks, but no one spoke.

"See what I mean? We destroyed the joint…it will take the owner months if not years to make it operational again and still no one says anything." Dwalin said in a hushed tone.

Thorin gave Perth a lofty side-glance and then walked slowly to the exact opposite side and stood before the last man of the line. "My Commander has brought to my attention you unwillingness to cooperate, but I don’t believe him because I always wish to see the good in people. I will repeat the question. Has any of you seen a dwarrowdam come through this tavern? She possesses a rare beauty that is very hard to ignore."

A wave of fear rippled through the crowd, but no one spoke apart from Perth.

"No Dwarrowdams have come through this place in years! Leave us alone!"

Thorin's mouth toyed with the suggestion of another cruel smile. "If I recall correctly this establishment has been one of the most famous brothels in this side of Middle Earth and it is rather well known for the crooks that it harbors. Criminals that are widely sought for in many villages and towns by the Rangers of the North. I can't help but wonder how many of those scums are employed by you."

Perth blanched. "I am a law abiding citizen and I am not looking for trouble! I have no criminals in my service!"

Thorin inclined his head. "Then you won't mind me checking, will you?"

"Don’t you dare! Stop!" Perth tried to get released, but it was impossible to move.

Thorin nodded at the guard who was holding a rather disheveled man by the elbows. The soldier tore the man's sleeve to reveal the lawless mark. The King pursed his lips. "Seems we got one on the first try. Is he your employee?"

Perth swallowed heavily and sweat began trickling over his eyes. "No…a patron…" He mumbled.

"Tie him up. He will be led to the Rangers." Thorin said coldly.

The man tried to get released with a howl of terror. “NO!”

"Why are you doing this to us? I told you that no one has seen your Dwarrowdam! Please leave my people alone!" Perth spat angrily.

Thorin thoroughly ignored him and moved to a woman with a rather revealing dress who was sniffling. He nodded at the guard and another sleeve was torn. There was no mark on her. "Did a beautiful Dwarrowdam pass through your establishment?" Thorin turned his heavy gaze upon Perth once more.

The owner straightened his shoulders. "No!" He spat.

Thorin pursed his lips and walked calmly to the next woman. He asked the same question from Perth and with each negation another sleeve was torn and another shoulder got bare. When one was branded with the mark of the lawless Thorin only had to look at his guards and they immediately tied the criminal up and led him away from the group. By the time Thorin had gone through three fourths of the employees and clients more than thirty men and women were chained up. The cries for help, the endless imploring for mercy and the occasional threat here and there didn't seem to deter the King who casually stopped in front of a prostitute that looked way too pretty to be in this profession.

Perth's face blanched. "Get away from her….I am warning you."

Thorin raised his brow and offered him a cold side-glace. "Oh, am I approaching too much? Is this too close for comfort?"

Perth's lips were pressed tight and his eyes were searing. "I said get away from her!"

Thorin turned to the girl emotionlessly while his fingers stroked her cheek and curled under her chin. Then he drew her face up until her eyes locked with his. "She is rather pretty. Is she important to you?"

Perth released a growl of anger and tried to break his bonds. "I said leave her alone!"

Thorin's mouth toyed with a faded smile. "How interesting…even in such places of complete debauchery, delicate emotions can be harbored. I cannot but admire that." –Then his fingers tightened around the girl's jawline who was sobbing uncontrollably- "Your name?" His rich voice rippled softly through the air.

"Leila…Sir…." She stammered unable to stop her body from quivering.

"Let her be!" Another thunderous bark came from Perth.

"Is he important to you, my dear?" Thorin nodded towards the barely constraint owner.

Leila closed her eyes and nodded as her tears created streams that pooled in Thorin's palm.

"Have you seen a Dwarrowdam coming through this Inn lately?" Thorin's eyes thinned upon her.

"Don't tell him!" Perth intervened.

A sob of despair rattled Leila's chest and she shook her head. "No, Sir…" She stumbled.

Thorin's jawline clenched and he drew back, releasing the woman's face from his steely grip. He raised his eyes to the guard and nodded. Her sleeve was torn to reveal the mark of the lawless.

"NOOOOOO!" Perth stood up and took a couple of steps before being forced down once more.

"Tie her up with the rest." Thorin said with enviable detachment.

"I think that is enough Perth, we are getting nowhere like this. Please Sir let Leila go I have information about the Dwarrowdam." An elderly blind woman intervened.

Thorin raised his hand and stopped the guard before he took the prostitute away. "Wait."

Perth was shaking with rage. "Leave my woman alone or I will make you regret the day you were born."

Thorin’s gaze fell cold on the tall man who was kneeling a few feet away from him. "Bold words from a man who hasn't been tried in battle." -The King looked mildly interested at Perth's audacity- "Had we been under different circumstances I might have found your boldness interesting enough to toy around with you for a little while. As it is now I am more intrigued by the raw emotions you are presenting towards this woman. Apparently you care about her a lot which is not much different from how much I care about the Dwarrowdam I have been asking about. I will ask one last time. Have you seen my wife?"

Perth's countenance plummeted and his lips parted. "Wife? She was your wife?"

Thorin felt a ripple of fury climbing up his spine. "You have seen her."

Dwalin neared his friend as he understood there was imminent danger of a meltdown after that admittance.

"I asked her if she was a Princess and she denied. I recognized your sigil upon her sleeve and her countenance bespoke of someone who was high in status. I knew it…I bloody knew it!" Perth was looking at the King with utter confusion.

"She is not a Princess. She is the Queen of the North. As for you…you lied to me…" Thorin's voice was dangerously low.

Perth lowered his head and his voice broke. "I didn't know she was your Queen. None of us knew! I asked if she was your relative and she just said she knew you well enough to tell you to leave us alone. She said that you would listen to her."

"I don't see my wife anywhere, do you? I cannot hear her voice pleading me not to slit the throat of your dame, can you?" Thorin's rage began escaping in large waves that caused everyone to back away from him as he walked up to Leila and grabbed her by the hair roughly.

“Pe-rth…” She moaned.

"NO!!!! Please I never hurt her your wife! I beg you don’t hurt mine!" Perth stuttered as tears streamed down his face.

"Perth didn't want to tell you we saw your lady, because he was afraid you'd take all your wrath upon his Inn. He doesn't have any other source of income Sir that is why he lied to you. Don't ask him about your Queen…ask me. I was the one who talked with her." Tréasa stood up with great difficulty.

"She promised you wouldn't hurt us…I knew ever since the moment I saw your sigil upon her that she was trouble, but I never hurt her. Please don't hurt Leila, she had nothing to do with this." Perth lifted his head and his usually strong features were now breaking in agony.

Thorin released Leila who knelt down and began coughing. He walked up to the elderly lady and nodded to the guard who untied her hands. "You talked with Eilin?"

Tréasa nodded. "That was her name. I couldn't see her, but her voice seemed to derive from the most melodic muses of Middle Earth and her scent was that of the most delicate flowers."

Thorin's heart twitched painfully. "What did she tell you?" His voice had lost all that cold indifference and for the first time it was colored with bright threads of fear.

"I will tell you everything, just please allow Leila to be free. Don't take her along with the others to the Rangers. She has her whole life ahead of her." Tréasa frowned.

"She has the mark of the lawless." Thorin eyes thinned.

Tréasa reached out and touched his shoulder. "Haven't you done something that you deeply regret your Majesty? Did you always follow the law? Where you always honorable?"

Thorin remained silent.

"Let her go and I will tell you everything, please." Tréasa returned with a tranquility that made Thorin pause.

For a few moments he remained immovable, rather undecided of what he wanted to do to all these people who delayed him with their lies. He lost time with them….he could have been on his horse and several miles away trying to locate his wife by now. He looked at Perth who was crying like a little child as he was looking at the woman he loved. "Release her until further notice." He said to the guard who bowed and brought Leila back to the line.

Perth's bellow of relief would have broken anyone's heart, but not the King's…for his was frozen as he took Tréasa a little ways off and listened to every word she had to tell him about Eilin.

When the old prostitute finished, Thorin was chilled to the bone. "After your conversation she left?" He murmured.

"Dashed out of here like the wind, but left this behind." Tréasa searched in her pocket and took out Eilin's handkerchief.

Thorin's heart screamed in pain as he reached out and took it. He looked at it mutely for several moments and then crushed it in his palm. Tears threatened to emerge, but he pushed them back. He could only imagine how Eilin must have gotten lost into a chaotic spiral of unbridled emotions. She had already been very upset by their argument and on top of that she learned all these unholy truths about her mother. Thorin knew his wife well enough to understand how much all this must have affected her. It made perfect sense to him that she up and left in the middle of that accursed conversation.

During his years as a commander and his consequent time as a ruler Thorin had gained enough knowledge to read a person's body language well enough to discern if they were saying the truth. When someone's work involves politics and diplomacy this ability is a hard earned must. He was sure that this woman was telling him the truth. Eilin was not at the Inn and neither did she come to any harm from the people who reside in it, but that unfortunately left him with more questions than answers.

Thorin allowed Tréasa to join her co-workers and walked away from them. When Eilin left the Inn it was still dark outside. He tried to imagine her facing the dark road ahead of him that led back to Bree and then his eyes fell to the other side of the road that led through the wilderness.

"So it is decided, she is not here either. Do we ride east?" Dwalin broke Thorin's musings.

The King shook his head. "No…Eilin wouldn't have ever left this place in order to venture into the wilderness alone."

"Well, she came here by foot all alone." Dwalin crossed his arms.

"Because she had something to gain out of this place. She needed information on Evelyn. When she got it I am sure that she tried to come back to me." Thorin's eyes thinned at the winding path that led back to Bree.

"And she vanished into thin air?" Dwalin frowned and looked at the dark forest around them.

"It makes no sense that she'd try to head east. There is nothing out there for her. After learning about her mother she must have tried to return to Hobbiton so we could leave for Erebor. She needed to see her father….but she wouldn't have ever attempted such a perilous and long trip through the Misty Mountains unescorted. She may take decisions based on emotions, but that is plain stupid." Thorin's jawline clenched.

"So you think someone attacked her in these woods?" Dwalin rejoined.

Thorin shuddered hard. "Maybe. This is a very wide area. We start here and spread out on all directions."

Dwalin nodded. "Very well."

Thorin's forearm muscles flexed. "Set up camp in that clearing. Tell Rikaljad to take twenty men and lead the prisoners to the Rangers of the North. Then he reports back to Erebor. We start scouring the forest tonight."

"It is dark, maybe we should wait for the break of dawn." Dwalin tried to reason.

"We don’t have time to spare. Use torches and every single man available. No one sleeps tonight and no one re-enters that bloody tavern. Set up a smaller camp for the employees at the other side of the forest. No one is to be set free either here or at Bree until I find my wife." Thorin's voice rumbled menacingly.

"At your command." Dwalin bowed.

The orders of Thorin were not well accepted by the large group of criminals that was led to an isolated spot under heavy restraints. Neither were they much appreciated by Perth and the handful of employees and clients who had remained free. However neither group attempted to escape or cause trouble to the brutal Dwarfish squadron that had turned their lives upside down.

The camp was set quickly and soon enough all the men that were available started combing the forest with Thorin at their lead. With the wolf by his side he searched the dense and dark forest tree by tree and shrub for shrub. He gave orders to his ravens who scoured the heavens for any sign below even though the blackness was making it very hard for them to locate anything. Every single voice that cried his wife's name, made Thorin's skin grow a bit colder and whenever he yelled it, tears surged from his eyes that he tried to hide from his comrades.

That methodical search took them to the next morning and it was long after the break of dawn when the bright rays of the sun passed through the thick clouds that Thorin started feeling his self-control wavering. Maybe his decision to stay in the area and search the forest had been wrong. Maybe Eilin did take off to the east without considering that she had no coins, no protection, no mount and no help. Maybe all her frustration about what happened with him and what she learned about her mother caused her to act unpredictably. Maybe he didn't predict her actions correctly. He stopped and leaned against a tree feeling emotionally and physically drained from the two days that he had been trudging after his wife's trails. The absolute horror that he wasn't ever going to find her threatened to take over his reason and Thorin tried to focus as he heard his men calling out Eilin's name repeatedly.

Finally though his emotional exhaustion took the best out of him and knelt next to the tree unable to take a single step forward. That is when a cold muzzle rubbed against his cheek and suddenly his eyes burned anew. "What do you want Thrór?"

The wolf yelped and licked his cheekbone.

"I am not in the mood boy." Thorin muttered and drew Eilin's handkerchief from his pocket. He placed it under his nose and inhaled deeply. Her scent send his mind spinning and at that moment he knew his sanity was hanging by a thread. That is when he heard the caw of a crow and looked up. Four of his birds were circling urgently above him. He heard someone running and he saw one of his guards coming to him with his hands raised, yelling something unintelligible. Thorin pushed Thror's muzzle away from Eilin's handkerchief, which he was sniffing excitedly.

"Sir…" The guard stopped and bowed.

"What?" Thorin frowned.

"Your crows…the birds…they found this in the woods….it has your sigil on it." The guard opened his palm.

Thorin's heart stopped. His hand came up to touch Eilin's wedding ring gently as if he was afraid it was going to break. He tried to speak, but somehow his voice was not working. Thrór pushed his muzzle against the King’s hand, trying to get to the handkerchief. Thorin's ears were buzzing and his eyes were a complete blur. He was unable to feel Thrór or listen to the guard properly.

"Sir? Your Majesty? Is this the Queen's?"

Thorin's hearing returned so quickly and made him so dizzy he had to catch himself upon the tree bark. His hand snatched the ring from the guard’s palm possessively. "Where did you find it?!"

The guard pointed behind him. "In that clearing. Follow me!"

Thorin did so and when they reached it Dwalin was already there. "Did he show you the ring?"

Thorin nodded. "Her wedding ring. She was here…she is in danger Dwalin. She would have never let her wedding ring fall off her finger. She let it go on purpose. This is her call for help..." The words were barely heard.

Dwalin frowned. "We need to keep up the search. There is a lot of area we haven't covered and the forest has a lot of uncharted caves."

Thorin shook his head and pushed the wolf away once more. "Stop it!" He rumbled.

The wolf stood on its hind legs and howled. He tried to bury his nose in Thorin's palm again. Before the King had the opportunity to send him away again knelt down and grabbed Thorin's trembling hand. "This is Eilin's handkerchief isn't it?"

Thorin nodded numbly. "Yes."

"Wait a moment! I heard the Rangers sometimes use dogs in order to track down scents. They are far better equipped than we are." Dwalin raised his brows.

Thorin's face settled and his breathing picked up speed. He knelt in front of the wolf and offered him Eilin's hankie. It snuffled it for a few moments and then yelped.

"Can you find her?" Thorin’s voice was trembling.

The grey wolf howled and began running eastwards into the dense forest.

"Set the ravens loose! Follow the wolf!" The King thundered and the sky filled with his black birds as the forest was run over by his men.

* * *

 

Eilin opened her eyes and lifted up her head. It had been impossible to get any sleep during the night in the position she was tied up. She moved her hands which were numb from the wrist down and her shoulders screamed in pain. A groan escaped as she tried to move her legs which were trapped under her, but the effort was of no use. If her hands were numb, then her thighs were completely dead from the hips down. She propped her head back on the pole that she was chained upon and she gave a cautious look once more to the pile of bones that was a few feet away from her. Her mind told her they were probably the remains of some animal, but her imagination was playing very dangerous games….and offered explanations that Eilin didn't even want to consider.

_Isn’t that thigh bone a little too long to belong to an animal?_

_Maybe it was a deer…_

_Or simply just another woman like me who ended up in a pile of bones._

Eilin felt her breath straining against her flared chest and looked at the tree bark that was camouflaging the entrance to this cave. Her eyes then turned to the stout half bald creation from hell that was currently her keeper. He was the one she had identified as the Groveller of this filthy trio, the one whom his friends called Aoife. He was the only one left behind as her Boogeyman and the Slug left to make sure no one had followed them.

Eilin couldn't help but admit that she was ultimately surprised that she hadn't been raped and gutted during the night, but apparently her tormentor intended to make her torture last as long as he could, before getting rid of her. The Queen's eyes fell on the pile of bones once more. Had that been another violent sexual encounter that had an unfortunate ending? Was she looking at human remains? Her stomach dropped and her tongue became even drier than it had been when she woke up from that infernal daze.

Had this taken place years ago when she was still alone, young and easily impressionable she would have probably accepted her fate like she had done in the tavern with many tears and prayers for mercy. However now it didn't feel the same anymore. The terror was still there, rearing its ugly head from the dark corners of her mind, but her focus was sharp and her will to live too strong. She was a mother now….she had three children back in the Shire and one trying to grow up in her belly. She didn't intend to become another nameless pile of bones next to the already existing ones in this dark cave in the middle of nowhere.

_Plus I will never hear the end of it from Thorin if I die. He will nag me about this even in the afterlife …._

Eilin's nose flared as her eyes turned with renewed determination towards the Groveller who was sharpening his knife. Then her gaze rolled down to the aforementioned weapon and there they remained for a rather lengthy period of time. She was not going to stay tied up against this bloody pole waiting for her Boogeyman and his lackey to return in order to rape and then skin her. She had to go back home and she was ready to do what was needed in order to achieve that.

The dice at that moment were hers to roll because she was still alive….her hands were not truly tied, were they? She could be a master of her own destiny or at least try to shape it instead of fainting or waiting to saved. She cleared her throat and clenched her fists. "Hey handsome…." The words stuck in her tongue.

Aoife stopped sharpening his knife and looked at her above his shoulder. "Huh?"

Eilin straightened her body and flared out her chest. "Hi pretty boy." She forced her lips to create a coquettish smile.

Aoife looked around him confused and then his eyes rolled down to her breasts. His tongue came out to lick his dirty lips. "Are you talking to me poppet?"

Eilin nodded and the smile grew wider with a lot of effort. "You see anybody else in here?"

Aoife frowned. "No."

"Thank heavens your friends left us alone." She continued with the same enforced tone of sweetness that surged her throat with poison.

Aoife placed his knife back at the sheathe that was on his belt and stood up. "Why would you want to be alone with me?"

"Because apart from being the most handsome of the three you also seem to be the cleverest and I like dealing with men like you." Eilin flicked her brow daringly.

Aoife scowled and walked up to her. "Are you making fun of me? I am smart enough to know when a girl is having a go at me and believe me those times haven't been few."

Eilin schooled her face to look sad. "Oh, dear. Women haven't treated you well, have they? That is impossible. You have the face of an angel even though you pretend to be a demon."

Aoife raised his brow. "I do?"

"Oh, but of course you do." Eilin smiled charmingly.

Aoife knelt down and grabbed her chin so tightly that Eilin yelped. "What is it you want out of me lovey? You are married to one of the most powerful rulers of Middle Earth and you want me to believe that you are attracted to me? I may look it, but I am not that stupid." He spat in her face.

Eilin had to force herself to keep his eyes. "I want to live and I am read to do whatever it takes to survive. Is that good enough for you?"

Aoife raised his brow and his foggy black eyes glimmered under his thick brows. His mouth curled up to reveal his rotten teeth. "That sounds more like it."

Eilin checked him out and raised her brow in return. "So do you think we can strike a deal?"

"Like what?"

"You loosen up my chains because my hands are completely dead and my chest is on fire from this bloody position you put me in and I will return the favor." Eilin smirked.

"You talk like a whore even though you are a Queen. What kind of a favor can you do for me? You are in my mercy. I can do anything I want to you, anytime I wish." Aoife grinned.

A whiff of stale urine threatened stirred up Eilin's stomach, however she was able to smile. "Oh, I think your boss will be furious if he learns you raped me before he had the chance to torture me according to plan."

A wave of uncertainty passed through Aoife's eyes. "So what? I will have you after him. The pleasure will be the same."

"I will be torn apart, bloody and barely conscious. The pleasure will not be the same unless you are into raping corpses." Eilin continued with impressive detachment about something so atrocious.

Aoife's conviction wavered even more. "You sound so indifferent of a torture that most women would have rather died than experience."

Eilin humphed. "I have experienced rape before. This isn't new to me."

Aoife licked his lips and removed his steel grip from her jawline. "You are a weird woman."

"I need to breathe…the way your boss has tied me up…I cannot breathe properly. Loosen up my hands a bit…please…" She tried to manipulate her voice to sound sweet.

"And what favor shall you offer me in exchange?" Aoife smirked and his finger run up her numb thigh.

Eilin had to force herself not to flinch. Her tongue came out and licked her lips invitingly. "I can do things to you with my mouth. Unspeakably erotic things that only the King of the North has ever experienced. Your boss hasn't ever felt my tongue running his length. I promise you are going to love it….just allow me to breathe… I am suffocating….please…" She begged.

A groan that was something between longing and confusion escaped Aoife's lips. "You will give me a blowjob?" He muttered utterly overcome.

Eilin already felt the traces of victory creeping up on her and that gave her courage. "I will give you the best blowjob you have ever had. Wanna find out if the Queen of the North gives good mouth?" She raised her brow and looked intently down to his dirty crotch.

Another groan even deeper escaped him. "Do you swallow?" He stammered and she saw the fire becoming almost uncontrollable in his eyes.

"Oh I do honey….I will take it all in…but decide quickly because soon your boss will be back and then he will gut me. I won't be able to blow you if I am dead will I?" Eilin looked towards the closed entrance.

Aoife's eyes turned there too. Then he grabbed her by the jawline and his nails dug into her cheek. He turned her head around and his mouth crushed upon hers. She felt his tongue pushing through her lips and a wave of nausea at his disgusting taste almost made her throw up in his mouth.

_Think of your children…Think of Thorin…._

Eilin's nose flared and she forced herself to engage his foul kiss praying that her torture would end soon. When he drew back he was frowning confused. "You just kissed me back."

Eilin tried not to breathe through her nose in order to mute the unwholesome taste that lingered on her tongue and she had to force herself not to spit in order to get rid of it. "And I will do much more if you help me breathe….please." She fluttered her eyelashes at him courteously.

Aoife's indecisiveness lasted only for a couple of moments. Then he wrapped his arms behind her back and began loosening up the chains. "You are not going to tell the boss that I helped you and you are going to take me all in….as deep as you can! I will tell everyone I know that I was blown by the Queen of the North." He harked.

Eilin closed her eyes and gritted her teeth as she forced her body to become immovable. She felt the chains coming undone and suddenly one of her hands had room to wiggle. That is when her eyes opened up and looked at his knife sheathe.

Aoife frowned. "Wait…now the chains are too lose, let me fix them…"

"I think they are just fine!" Eilin thundered and pulled her hand free so fast that Aoife was unable to restraint her. With one slick move that Thorin would have been proud of, she unsheathed his knife and buried it at the side of his throat.

Aoife moaned and grasped his neck that gushed a thick river of blood down to his filthy undergarments. "Th-at was not pa-rt of the de-al." He stammered with eyes full of terror.

“Fuck off you filthy pig!” Eilin released her other hand and then decided that she wanted that knife with her. She knelt down and pushed his hand away. She wrapped her hand around the handle and pulled it free with unviable composure. All this time the only thought in her mind were her children and Thorin, not the fact that she had just stabbed a man to death.

Aoife grabbed his neck and rolled on the ground. He began shouting curses loud enough to be heard outside.

Eilin's eyes thinned on him. "Can you shut up you bloody motherfucker?" She snarled.

Aoife's eyes rolled into his skull as his screams of torment intensified.

Eilin looked at the entrance and without any hesitation she held the knife with both hands and buried it deep into the man's heart. She felt his shudder running up the length of the knife and vomit came up to her mouth. She closed her eyes and prayed he'd die before she broke down completely. A few nightmarish moments later another stronger tremor shook his body. Then something came undone and she felt him letting go. Eilin pulled the knife and stood up. She staggered and caught herself on a rock.

_I just killed a man…._

_You just got rid of vermin….now move it! Come back to me!_ The part of her mind that she was identifying as the always austere voice of her husband commanded.

With one last look towards the bleeding corpse she tightened her hand around the knife, steadied her heart which was beating out of control and went to the entrance. She peeked between the gaps and saw that no one was outside. She pushed the tree bark slightly, slid out and didn't wait to make sure that she hadn't been spotted. She hastened into the forest as quietly, but also as quickly as she could. Soon enough her numb thighs began working well again and she coursed above the rough terrain skillfully, trying to get as much distance between herself and these criminals as possible.

She was still in complete disbelief that she had managed to escape her doom totally unassisted and she couldn't wait to find her husband and relate to him how bravely she had planned her escape and how detached she had felt on her first kill. Strange as it sounded, she knew Thorin would be proud of her…but even if he wasn’t she didn’t care. She was damn proud of herself and she didn't need her husband's validation that she did well this time. She had conquered her ultimate fear, she had resisted fainting in front of the torture that awaited her and in the end she had managed to break free.

Eilin jumped over boulders and tree roots with an ease that hid how badly she had been abused and how exhausted she was. She had been without food or drink for almost two days, she had been punched and kicked, she had been tied down with chains. She had been kissed by a cesspit and she had stabbed a man to death repeatedly.

Her hand came up and began wiping her tongue furiously in order to get rid of that foul taste that still lingered. She wanted to laugh and cry and have a total meltdown, but this was not the place. She wasn't out of the woods yet and she had no sense of direction. She didn't know which way to go in order to find the road and she thought she kept seeing from the edge of her eyesight shadows moving between the trees. And noises….they came from all around her, but they were dim and confusing. Were there voices indeed or was she visualizing them? Was she running straight towards her captors?

Eilin stopped and leaned back against a tree. She looked around her terrified and tried to listen closely to what she thought she was hearing. She had to know where those noises were coming from in order to run the other way, but the moment she stopped everything was silent. Just as her heart began slowing down the howling of a wolf made her blood freeze.

Eilin squealed and covered her mouth. She looked at the direction the howl came from and felt her whole body quivering from fear. "Shit!" She muttered. The last thing she wanted right now was to be eaten by wild animals. She didn't get away from the clutches of the Grim Ripper in order to be eaten by a bloody wolf. She turned around and run the other way as fast as she could needing to put some distance between her and that wild animal.

When her lungs were on fire and she was unable to run anymore she leaned against a rock and looked around her. She had all but forgotten the absolute terror of her kidnappers and the only thing on her mind now was the wild animals that were surrounding her. "I need to get away from the wolf…they travel in packs, I am bleeding and they smell blood." She muttered and with one last look above her shoulder she got ready to run once more.

That is when a hand covered her mouth and a familiar voice dripped into her ear and raised all the hair on her body. "Where do you think you are going sweetie? We are not finished yet."

Eilin tried to scream, and use her knife, but it got knocked out of her hand. The next thing she felt was something heavy landing on her head, a white light erupting behind her closed eyes and then total darkness.

 


	45. Blood and tears

 

"Open your eyes you fucking bitch! I want you to be awake in order to feel everything!" Gareth thundered.

Eilin felt a cold blade pressing upon her throat and her lips parted. She needed to take a deep breath, but was afraid that any kind of movement would cause the edge of the knife to cut her skin. She was going to bleed to death alone in this cave, wasn't she? The certainty that she had been the mistress of her destiny when she managed to kill one of her abductors was now long gone. She made a huge mistake by turning around in order to escape that wolf. That send her straight into the arms of these monsters again. She glared at Aoifee's stabbed body that was lying in a pool of blood in the middle of the cave and knew that any chance she may have had of getting back to her family was now over.

She wasn't going to survive the wrath of this beast, chained as she was to the rocks with her hands above her head and her thighs spread open. She was being prepared to be offered like a lamp for slaughter. Gareth's knife was tearing her skin and his hand was twisting so violently in her hair that it was being ripped apart from the roots.

There weren't many things that she could do to stop the inevitable anymore. She couldn't insult them without aiming for instant death after what she did to their comrade. There was no way she could get to their good side either. The already cruel plan to rape her, had now an added bonus of getting gutted and possibly have her carcass thrown at Thorin's doorstep just so they'd make sure the pain inflicted to her would echo upon her family as well.

Eilin shuddered as the man pulled her hair brutally. "Don't close your eyes you filthy cunt! Look at him! Look what you did to him!" He pointed at the body of his comrade.

"Fu-ck you…" Eilin stammered and felt the tears carving hot paths on her cheeks.

Gareth shoved her head violently upon the jutted rocks. She gasped as a fresh gush of warm blood poured over her eyes.

"You killed him!" Gareth spat.

Eilin felt a bubbly sensation stirring in her guts. "Talking about the obvious…." She snorted surprised that in the midst of all this terror she still had enough courage to talk back to the man who governed all her nightmares.

The punch found her on the chin and send a fiery eruption of pain at the side of her face which extended up to her head. She moaned and her eyes fluttered.

"She has a lot of mettle…one has to admire that." -Japhet raised his brow and started undoing his pants- "Now can we get this over with? The forest is full of royal guards and even though this place is well hidden they might not take so long to trace us…"

Eilin's eyes flew open at that. "What?" She mumbled.

Another punch found her under the eye and tore it open. More blood joined the wound of her forehead and Eilin felt her thighs quivering. Did that man say royal guards? What royal guards? Her husband's? Was Thorin close by? Suddenly the need to stay awake returned full force.

"Didn't I tell you to shut up?" Gareth spat hatefully.

Eilin blinked and noticed the traces of fear in that monster's eyes. Her heart twitched with a faded sense of victory. He was not as self-certain as he wanted to appear, was he? Something was happening that she was not aware off, wasn't it? "If my husband is out there you are seriously fucked…" She spat.

Gareth's hand gripped her hair violently as his lips crashed upon her ear. "No one is going to find you in time poppet. This place is virtually untraceable. They could be right outside the door and they'd see nothing, so don't get your hopes up. You are mine. I told you a million times that I paid for your hide back in the days. You always belonged to me. That Dwarf-scum will get your dead corpse, but nothing more than that."

"The entrance is masterfully camouflaged indeed, but I don't feel so safe with that bloody wolf sniffing around our scents. Can we get it over with?" Japhet mumbled looking rather nervous.

Eilin's eyes turned to him with great difficulty. That is when her blood froze and her body shuddered hard as she gazed at him cradling his dick and stroking it slowly. A sob escaped her and she turned her eyes to Gareth. Even if Thorin was out there would he be able to find her before these beasts forced themselves upon her? The pit of her stomach twisted mercilessly and she tried to close her thighs. "No…please…" Her voice came out as a broken whisper.

"Oh, what happened suddenly? Where has all your nerve gone? Is it trickling between your spread legs along with your piss?" -Gareth's voice penetrated her ear and his tongue came out to lick her earlobe. Eilin's body shook in denial and she felt her bladder letting go fully this time. She squeezed her eyes and tasted the saltiness of her tears mingled with her blood. She opened her mouth to scream, but Gareth's dirty palm covered her lips…muffling any noise she attempted to make - "Shut your pretty mouth you little cunt and stay still! Japhet come hold the knife!"

Eilin was suddenly released but only for a moment before Japhet's hand came over her mouth. She inhaled his dirty manhood and gagged. Her eyes rolled at the back of her head when she felt Gareth raising her bloody dress and caressing her bare buttocks. Several groans of despair left her throat, but were choked.

Gareth untied his trousers. "Look at this perfect butt…." -An animalistic groan escaped him- "Release her mouth, but keep the knife on her throat …I want to hear her implore me like she had done back then when I tore her tight little pussy apart." He commanded Japhet.

Eilin felt the filthy hand freeing her mouth and she gasped. "Ple-ase have mer-cy…I am pre-gnant…Do anything you wi-sh, but don't hu-rt my ba-by…"

Japhet frowned and took a step back at that. "Oh, come on now…she is fucking pregnant! That's unfair!"

Gareth paused with his fist around his dick almost touching Eilin's buttocks. "Don't tell me you are having second thoughts you bloody weasel…This bitch will be torn apart pregnant or not."

Eilin felt her stomach revolting and she began sobbing. "My ba-by…ple-ase have mercy on my un-born baby…"

Japhet took another step back and pulled up his trousers. "I am not raping a pregnant woman…forget it Gareth. That was not part of the deal. I am out!" He yelled.

Eilin tried to stop her crying long enough to draw in breath, but was unable. Her eyes were a complete blur and her knees were wobbly. Her body was a tangled yarn of absolute agony. She gathered all the air she had in her lungs and opened her mouth not expecting much. When the scream tore through her throat, she was more surprised at its intensity than anyone else.

"Shut her the fuck up!" Gareth thundered.

Eilin felt the world fading away. She heard the howl of wolf coming from outside, which was followed by many raised voices. She saw through her blurry eyes the tree bark being thrown aside and several shadows invading the cave. "My baby…help my baby…" She muttered and tried to pull her hands free in order to touch those shadows that were running up to her urgently.

Then she heard a defeated groan coming from the other side and she turned to see Japhet looking at her wide-eyed with an axe buried between his brows. A stream of blood sprang out of the deep wound and exploded outwards staining her face. A pitiful whimper came out of his parted lips and Eilin saw his body falling lifeless to the ground. Her lips drew back and she hissed. Then she turned around to find the one who threw the axe …and she saw a familiar outline. "Thorin?" She whispered and her body gave up completely as darkness engulfed her.

* * *

 

First it was his cherished scent that engulfed her, then it was the warmth of his immense frame surrounding her, but what came to undo her was his beloved voice. "Eilin for heaven's sake please talk to me…"

Her fingers twitched and tried to get a hold of his sleeve. She opened her mouth to respond to him, but nothing came out.

"She is coming round." Dwalin leaned above the trembling King.

Thorin large hand cupped her bruised cheek. As his finger grazed the torn skin she hissed and he groaned with her. He closed his eyes and pulled her in his arms tightly. "Please tell me you are still with me…." He begged.

Eilin shook her head and grabbed his tunic tightly. "The baby…check…our baby." She stammered.

Thorin's teary eyes turned to his friend. "Turn around!" He commanded.

Dwalin grabbed his temples and turned around. "Oh Mahal help her…" He muttered at a loss.

Thorin didn't hesitate to bury his hand under her dress and petticoats. His fingers smoothed over her womanhood and his finger got buried slightly inside. She tensed and her grip twisted around his forearm. The King withdrew his hand which was trembling out of control and his lungs convulsed. "There is no blood…" His voice was barely heard.

A loud sob rattled Eilin's chest.

Thorin cradled her close to his heart and fought hard to keep composed. "Did they force themselves upon you?" There was a darkness in his voice that made Eilin open her eyes.

She shook her head. "They tried, but they failed…They didn't touch me Thorin, I swear…" She murmured feeling the aftershocks of her torture coursing through her body.

Thorin pulled her in so tightly that Eilin felt all the pains on her body flaring, but she didn't want him to let her go, so she kept silent. "Tell me you are alright for the sake of my sanity." He drew back and his finger barely touched her bruised cheek.

Eilin felt her lips forming an honest smile. "Now that you are here I am alright." She said without any hesitation.

"Oh my heaven what have they done to you?" He muttered with a broken voice. His hand reached out to touch the oozing scar on her brow and he stopped at the last moment. Then he attempted to caress her cheek but it was a sickly color of purple and twice the normal size. Both her lips were cut and her jawline had several bruises also. Thorin's eyes burned as his hand relocated from one wound to the next, unable to find a place to touch her that wouldn't hurt her.

Eilin closed her eyes and licked her torn lips. "I did things to them also. I killed one of them Thorin…I fought back…"

Thorin's lips formed a ghostly smile, even though his eyes surged with tears. "You did?"

A strong shudder run through her. "I killed a man…." She whispered as if she was making this realization for the first time.

Thorin squeezed her firmly and his lips lingered over her forehead for a few moments before planting there a gentle kiss. "My precious..."

Eilin's brow clouded and she tried to pull herself up. "Wait Thorin...wait...That's him…." She snapped.

The King frowned. "Him?"

Eilin nodded and pointed at Gareth who was being held by two guards. "He is the one…"

Thorin turned around and his face darkened. "What do you mean?"

Eilin's hand grabbed his lapel forcefully. "He is the one who raped me all those years ago…He is the one!"

Thorin frowned and tried to regulate a fresh wave of emotions that came out of nowhere. He caressed her throat gently and propped his forehead on hers careful not to touch the gaping wound on her brow. "He is the one who defiled your womanhood? The one who branded you with all those endless nightmares?"

"Yes…He was waiting for me in the dark…he was there all along waiting for me. He will always be there waiting for me." Eilin whimpered.

Thorin remained frozen above her for several moments and the only thing she could hear was his quick breathing. Then his mouth smoothed all over her face, planting myriads of soft kisses and with each one the pains on Eilin's body seemed to become more bearable. However she felt the silent desolation hiding behind those kisses and she tried to reciprocate…to do something to make him feel better even though she was the one who was in desperate need for solace.

When his mouth ghosted hers, she was already praying to be kissed despite the awful state of her lips. His heaving breaths rippled at the side of her mouth and time stood still. There was something else oozing out of him that didn’t feel warm and loving anymore…something that felt very dangerous.

She frowned in confusion. "Thorin?"

The King gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes tight. Then he picked her up and walked back to Dwalin. "Take her to the camp." He said and passed her over to his bodyguard. His voice lacked all those suppressed emotions that Eilin had heard when he was trying to revive her and had gained the icy quality that always unnerved her.

She tried to find his eyes. "Why him? Why not you?" She reached out to grab him.

He turned his back at her. "Make sure she is alright and tend to her wounds." Came the assertive command.

Dwalin cupped her cheek and pulled her head under his chin. "Stay still darling…we need to take care of you."

"What about my husband?" She sniffled.

"He needs to take care of the ones who hurt you. Now close your eyes and trust me…everything is under control." Dwalin's voice was soothing enough, but did nothing to calm down Eilin.

* * *

 

Thorin stared straight into the eyes of the most hideous monster he had ever encountered mildly bewildered. He had fought thousands of foes, he had wielded his weapons in order to defend his family, his home, his friends, and his kin against creatures that were horrendous beyond any imagination….yet….looking straight in the eyes of Eilin's abuser had awoken something inside him that he hadn't ever felt before. He didn't seek simple revenge from this filth, nor his death. It was not the fire of war that was surging in his veins, neither the thirst for blood. What had taken over him was unprecedented and he had no experience on how to handle it.

There was no place for reason inside the madness that was residing now in his mind. The King of the North had departed. So had Eilin's King Thorin and the loving father whose children were safely playing at the lake of the Shire, ignorant of the insanity that had overtaken their dad or how badly hurt their mom was.

Thorin raised his head slightly and his eyes focused on his prey.

Gareth looked at the guards who were holding him and tried to shake them off. "What are you looking at you Dwarf-scum?" He spat.

Thorin's lips curled up to a discreet, but rather venomous smile. "Do you feel lucky that axe didn't get buried in your head instead of your friend's?" He drawled.

"What?" Gareth seemed taken aback.

Thorin humphed and started unbuckling his sword sheath. "Do you feel lucky that you are still alive?"

Gareth looked at the huge sword and his eyes glimmered with fear. "What are you trying to do? Play with my mind? Scare me? These are not tactics used by Dwarves…..I know your kin…"

"You know nothing!" Thorin thundered.

Gareth jerked nervously and licked his lips. "Easy now mate..."

Thorin gave his sword to one of the guards and then took off his vest which landed in the hands of another guard as he continued his calm walk towards Gareth. "You didn't answer my question….do you feel lucky that axe is not buried in your head?"

Another flicker of fear as Gareth noticed that the King unbuckled the dagger sheath on his thigh and discarded it at the hands of another guard. "I don't know…"

"Wise answer. What fate would be better I wonder? Dying on the spot with an axe mounted in your brain or what you are about to go through?" Thorin took off his forearm shields and his riding gloves which he gave casually to another soldier.

Gareth froze and looked at the guards, now suddenly very aware that the King was actually getting rid of all his weapons and protection. "What are you doing?" He faltered.

"I am getting ready to have some fun with you." Thorin said calmly and stopped in front of him.

"It is easy to have bravado when you have so many men to protect you and to hold me down." Gareth spat vehemently.

Thorin raised his brows. "Oh, you want to be released, is that it?"

Gareth's certainty wavered and he smiled uneasily. He looked at one of the guards who shook his head, mutely telling him that was a very bad idea. However he ignored that silent advice. "Release me Dwarf-Scum and we’ll see who will play with whom!"

Thorin pursed his lips and crossed his hands behind his back. He walked several steps away from Gareth and gazed at the forest musingly. Then he sighed. "Very well. Untie him and leave us." His command was totally unemotional.

Gareth laughed and then looked at his guards. "Untie me you bitches, you heard what your precious King said!"

One of his guards held him while the other untied him. "Warrior King." He corrected coldly.

Gareth rubbed his wrists. "What?" He asked confused.

The guard's smile was cruel. "He is a warrior King. Good luck."

Gareth shook his shoulders and got prepared. "Warrior King my ass! Come on then…I am ready for you!"

Thorin threw a side-way glance at his guards who seemed unwilling to depart. "I said leave us. Return to the camp and take the wolf with you!" The second command didn't leave any room for debate and the guards left quickly, dragging behind them a whimpering Thrór.

"Turn around your Dwarf-Scum and face me! Your bitch killed Aoifee and you killed Japhet. Now I am going to kill you so slowly you'd wish you had never crossed my path!" Gareth roared.

Thorin turned and looked at him indifferently. "What did you do to my wife twenty years ago, when she was a little more than a child?"

"What do you mean? I haven’t met her before." Gareth spat and then released a shrill cry and run towards Thorin at full speed with his fists raised.

Thorin dodged the punch effortlessly and planted a formidable blow on Gareth's stomach.

Gareth exhaled hard and doubled down. "Ah…fuck you! That wasn't fair!"

"You are the filth who raped my wife many years ago…" Thorin looked at him coldly.

Gareth stumbled and tried hard to stand straight again. "Fuck you and her!" He barked and attempted another attack, which ended up with the King's fist engaging Gareth's mouth and knocking all his front teeth out. That was followed by Thorin's knee colliding with the man's throat and sending him to the forest bed moaning in pain.

Gareth reached up to find something to haul himself up. "You are not fighting fair…" He spat.

"And I suppose you fought fair all your life. What happened that accursed night when you stained the honor of my wife you fucking monstrosity?" Thorin grabbed him by the hair and pulled him up.

"Oh I am sure you can imagine what happened. You must know how good she was for me. Was she as good for you too?" Gareth giggled madly.

Thorin felt his mind blacking out completely at those words and every sense of reality was gone. He twisted Gareth's hand behind his back so hard the bones crushed. Then he threw Gareth down, climbed on top of him and commenced such a brutal beating that Eilin's abuser was left swimming in a pool of blood almost unconscious in the end.

Thorin clenched his fists and felt his jawline in pain from the tension. He needed to be back in control, but it was impossible now that he knew who this filth was. When a meek moan came from Gareth, Thorin's boot connected several times with his sides breaking several ribs in the process. Only the need to keep him alive because he had more to do was able to make him stop, but even that was with great difficulty.

He was trembling all over when he pushed Gareth's bloody head to the ground. Then he looked at the bloody stains on his silken tunic, disgusted. "Look what you made me do….this will never come off." Thorin murmured angrily.

A litany of agony left Gareth’s mouth.

"Get up!" Thorin barked and began pacing up and down.

Gareth flinched away. “You are one crazy bastard…”

"You haven’t seen anything yet. I said get up!" Thorin's formidable roar echoed in the forest.

"I have something on you that you will never be able to outshine." Gareth exposed his toothless grin.

Thorin raised his brow.

"I had her peachy pussy first…." Gareth chuckled.

Thorin tilted his head slightly and out of nowhere came a vicious wrist punch that landed on Gareth's temple and send him flying several feet in the air before landing him against a thick tree bark. "You entered the tavern that night and you saw all these hookers who were willing to have you for a few petty coins, yet you decided to walk up to the private chambers of the maidens and open Eilin's door. You saw a young girl in there shivering from fear. Cowering in a corner, praying for her life…she shouldn't have been more than sixteen years old then….a little more than a child." –Thorin stepped above Gareth and hooked his fingers inside the man's mouth pulling his head up.

Gareth groaned in pain and tried to get released, but it was in vain.

Thorin started dragging Gareth towards his horse. "So instead of leaving her alone you decided to call your friends over so you could all defile the poor child. You destroyed a life and created nightmares for a girl that has never done anything to you, just in order to appease your sick hunger for young flesh. How many more young girls have you raped?"

Gareth gagged, unable to answer.

"What did you expect me to do with you I wonder…." -Thorin dropped him and went to his horse- "Did you think that I was going to beat you to death? Stab you? Order my guards to dispose of you?" He spat coldly and took out a long rope. He commenced to tie Gareth's feet and then his hands even though one was useless.

Gareth groaned and his eyes opened up slightly to see Thorin's face swimming over him, but that didn't last long. Slowly Thorin's face faded away and was replaced by Eilin's youthful face that was begging to be left alone…"Arghhh…" He splattered in terror.

Thorin secured the rope on the saddle of his horse and then walked casually back to Gareth. He knelt down and dag his nails under the man's chin. He pulled up the swollen face and his eyes thinned. "You are not going to be lucky and die that easily."

Gareth frowned as his dizzy mind was trying to understand how Eilin had such a deep voice and how she was able to tie him down so efficiently. She was so small and weak and at his mercy….so round, so soft, so…..hard….so painful…so much aching….so much dust…so many rocks poking his stomach, chest and ribs…so much agony…

Thorin set his horse in a trot dragging the half-conscious Gareth behind him. He looked above his shoulder and his brow arched. Then his gaze fell at the sky that was being covered with heavy clouds once more. His hand tightened around the reins and his horse went into a fierce gallop through the roughest paths of the forest as Thorin was delighting with each scream of anguish he was managing to elicit from Eilin's abuser.

* * *

 

"Let me clean you up my dear woman please." Dwalin frowned.

Eilin pushed his hand away and took the cloth from him. "I can do it on my own."

"Why are you so stubborn? You have wounds all over your face. You cannot see them in order to clean them properly. Also I see no mirrors around, do you?" Dwalin pursed his lips.

"Did you become such good friends with my husband because you share his cynicism?" Eilin returned dryly.

Dwalin crossed his arms and sat back. "Many happy, but also painful experiences have bonded me and Thorin together. We are both seasoned veterans young lady. We have seen some serious things together and I suppose our attitudes are more similar than not."

"Ha! Of course! Experiences that he doesn't reveal to me because he wants to" –She humphed- "Protect me. You see I am too dainty to learn the truth, right? I must always be protected from it. God forbid I learn something that will upset me." She couldn't help but sound bitter.

"Oh you are still very raw with Thorin." Dwalin winced.

"You have no idea how much especially after I learned how unfairly he treated my father. So tell me…those experiences you share with one of the most brutal butchers of Azanulbizar…would you ever reveal them to me or do you think I am too dainty to learn also? You know I killed a man with no hesitations and I feel no bloody guilt about it. I am not as sensitive as you and my husband think I am!" Eilin began cleaning her wounds rather angrily.

Dwalin shook his head. "Don't put me in the middle of this please."

Eilin threw him a feisty side-gaze. "I am not delicate Dwalin…You are in no danger of seeing me shatter. I can clean myself and I can handle the truth! Any kind of truth!"

Dwalin leaned his elbows on his knees. "One's first kill is a rather brutal experience, not easily forgotten. I never insinuated that you are dainty and always in need of protection."

"But my husband thinks so…to the extent that he has to mistreat my father because of it." Eilin dragged the wet cloth roughly above the gash on her brow and hissed.

Dwalin tried to help her but she drew back. "I assure you that Thorin has regretted his choices dearly. When he realized that you were in danger he broke apart. I know him very well Eilin…he aged at least a century before we finally found you."

Eilin huffed. "Therefore at four hundred years old now I am sure he can do without an advocate."

Dwalin closed his eyes. "I am only trying to help."

Eilin looked at him and lowered the cloth. Then she sighed. "Thank you, but in all honesty it is him I need here right now. It's his voice I want to listen to and his presence I want beside me despite of all our arguments. He needs to be here with me not out there doing whatever…."

Dwalin frowned confused and raised his hand. "Wait a minute. He is out there because of you Eilin. You must know what he is doing… surely."

Eilin swallowed heavily. "I am pregnant to his child. I need him here not running after that filth."

"And that is the reason that he must do this especially after what you told him about that man. Do you think Thorin will turn his back on your rapist? The very man that he had been hearing about all this time? Allow him to clench his thirst for blood before he erupts and takes all of us down with him. You've known him for a decade, but I know him for centuries. When he is in this mood, no one can reason with him and in this particular case I don't blame him for wanting revenge."

Eilin shuddered hard.

Dwalin stood up and walked at the entrance of the royal tent. "He will return when he feels that everything else has been taken care off. He knows you are in good hands, even though you are not allowing me to help."

"Can you go and find him?" Eilin's voice was slightly broken.

Dwalin looked at her above his shoulder.

"Please?" She whispered.

"No, I am sorry. I trust him to do this alone and so should you." Dwalin raised his brow.

Eilin sat back and looked at the bodyguard annoyed.

Dwalin tilted his head. "Try to clean yourself and I will bring you a change of clothes and some broth. It will help you regain your strength."

Eilin swallowed heavily and closed her eyes. "Thank you."

Dwalin nodded and stepped out.

Eilin frowned. "Dwalin!"

The bodyguard stopped and pulled the tent back slightly. "Yes?"

Eilin pressed her lips. "I know I sounded ungrateful before towards my husband. I am mad at him, but that doesn't eliminate how I feel about him. Everything I am is because of him…"

"Then try to be more lenient towards his mistakes please." Dwalin said quietly.

Eilin felt her lips curled down.

"Thorin loves you more than anyone else….apart from your children. That is all I am going to say." Dwalin returned.

Eilin closed her eyes and nodded.

A long silence followed from Dwalin before he allowed the tent to slide back in place and walk away.

Eilin was left alone gazing mutely at the pink water inside the large container, with the bloody cloth loosely cradled in the palm of her trembling hand.

* * *

 

Thorin stood mute, staring at the entrance of the "Forsaken Inn" for what felt like forever and a day. The groans of suffering behind him didn't elicit any kind of emotions upon his features. If someone asked him how he felt after beating Eilin's rapist to within an inch of his life and then dragging him through the whole forest…he would have replied "Empty."

He would have expected to feel some kind of satisfaction, some elation at having taken revenge for his wife's torment that almost got a fresh rerun ….yet there was complete emptiness inside. The indescribable feeling that had taken over him…the one he didn't know how to explain or handle was still burning him from the inside out, seeking vengeance.

He sighed deeply and looked at one of his guards. "Give me your axe."

The man placed it in the King's palm and bowed. "Sir!"

Thorin's fingers tightened around it and his jawline flexed. "Now leave."

The guard bowed and stepped over the quivering body of Gareth with a disturbed grimace before joining his comrades. However no one moved.

Thorin knew that he wouldn't be able to rest until he finished with all this. Her past had to be engulfed in fire and ash if there was ever a chance for her to start healing….or for him to be able to sleep at night. He closed his eyes and his nose flared. "Get out of here all of you!" He roared.

The guards bowed and left quickly.

Gareth twisted with a painful grunt and tried to reach for those guards. "Don't le-ave me wi-th him…" He slurred.

"It was in this place that you first saw the young maiden and decided that you wanted to defile her, wasn't it? You knew she wasn’t a whore but that didn’t matter to you." Thorin's voice had attained a very low pitch.

Gareth turned his blurry eyes at the King who stood at the top of the stairs. His desperate plead to be spared came out as an unintelligible murmur.

Thorin's fingers tightened around the axe and he looked at one of the wooden columns that held the upstairs balcony. "Do you how my kin punishes those who defile women?"

Gareth closed his eyes and began sobbing hard.

Thorin threw the axe with such formidable strength that it cut through the base of the column like butter. The same throw was repeated on the top and a large weighty pillar landed at the steps. "Crucifixion."

Gareth felt a strong tremor rattling his teeth.

Thorin turned to the next column and repeated two similarly potent throws. The second column fell down with a loud crash.

Gareth jerked back and tried to slither away from the King, but a heavy boot landed on his nape and made him howl in pain as all the wounds of his face got rubbed into the dirt.

"Was there any thread of compassion in your heart when you saw that young and innocent girl begging you for mercy?" Thorin said and tied him down to the railings.

Gareth squealed and blood poured out of his mouth. He attempted another entreaty towards the King that went unheard. "Pl-ease me-rcy…"

"I bet you were as deaf as I am pretending to be now…" -Thorin said apathetically and began working on what looked like a giant cross made out of those huge pillars- "You had so many adult women willing to offer their bodies to you with the right amount of money and instead you chose to rape a minor. Not only that, but you also tried to repeat your foul deeds after twenty years. You never had any compassion for that beautiful girl…you never felt an ounce of remorse for destroying her life. So deceived is Morgoth in taking pride that the foulest beasts of Middle Earth are born with his blessings."

Gareth was trembling heavily. "Let me li-ve and I will try to ma-ke it up to her…pl-ease."

"Hush….darkness is falling and we have a lot to do." Thorin whispered and began nailing the columns together with the handle of his axe. He worked silently for a long time, not minding Gareth's heavy breathing and wails of anguish or the fact that the sun was going down quickly. When he finished he remained quietly observing his creation for several moments before throwing the axe down and walking up to Gareth who had lost consciousness. He untied his hands and knelt in front of him. Then he raised his brow and threw him such a strong slap with the back of his hand that Gareth inhaled sharply and opened his eyes. "I want you to be awake when we do this."

Gareth turned his eyes at were the King was looking and felt the blood freezing in his veins. "No…no…no…I beg you..."

Thorin pursed his lips and tugged Gareth to the cross kicking and screaming. "Did she beg you in the same manner also? Did you make her grovel at your feet, beseeching for her life even though you intended to tear her insides apart?" Thorin leaned down and hissed upon Gareth's face.

The man winced and closed his eyes. "The Gods will cu-rse you! You sh-all never go to Mahal's Ha-lls if you tor-ture me like that!" He spluttered.

Thorin's lips formed a side-smile. "Mahal can build his Halls without me. Nobody will miss me up there…" He pulled Gareth over the cross and tied his hands and legs on the wooden poles.

Gareth made the final attempt to escape and tried to loosen the ropes, but the moment he saw Thorin returning with several nails in his hands he began screaming. "HELP!"

Thorin came down to one knee and without an ounce of emotion on his face he held Gareth's broken hand open and placed the nail in it. Then he threw the hammer down with such force that the nail pierced his whole hand and came through the back of the wooden plank. An abysmal scream penetrated Thorin's ears, but not even a flinch came from him. The King stood up and went to other side in order to repeat the process. When he was finally done the cross was placed upright a few feet away from the entrance of the "Forsaken Inn" with Gareth nailed upon it.

"Heartless…." Gareth murmured as blood and saliva run down his chin.

"As you had been when you defiled the womanhood of my wife." Thorin inclined his head and drew a big dagger from the inside of his belt.

Gareth's eyes fell on it and he tried to move his hands which ended up in excruciating pain to shoot through his palms. He screamed at the top of his lungs again. "HELP!"

"Are you asking help from the Gods or from mere mortals?" Thorin stood in front of him with a calculative smile.

Gareth looked at him panting.

"You will find mercy from neither, because you had no mercy for my wife." Thorin continued and his dagger tore Gareth's tunic to threads, revealing his naked skin that was sweating profusely.

Gareth shook his head and his parted lips dripped saliva as he murmured. "no...no...no"

"You will have the honor of learning first hand why I was named one of the Butchers of Azanulbizar." Thorin rejoined and his blade cut deep into Gareth's skin.

Gareth shrieked.

"As you slowly bleed to death I want you to remember the face of the innocent young girl you defiled in this doomed dominion of corruption. It is the same face of the woman who caused you this excruciatingly slow and torturous death and I will be here to see every single drop of life leaving you until there is nothing more than the absolute darkness." Thorin's smile was ominous as he began carving Gareth's skin deep enough to induce bleeding, but not so deep as to cause immediate death. The howls of anguish as Gareth was being tortured beyond any reason resounded through the forest and froze the blood of every single prisoner at the camp that had been set up close by. Thorin took his time at slicing with enviable detachment Gareth's torso at all the right places and when he finished he was as bloody as his prey, as the filth's blood had gushed upon Thorin's clothing and face plentiful. When everything was finally over, two diagonal incisions started from Gareth's shoulders and met at the middle of his chest in order to form a vertical one over his stomach which ended above his crotch. Thorin observed the small puddle that began forming under Gareth's feet and closed his eyes absolutely delighting at his squeals of agony.

However this wasn't going to finish only with the crucifixion of Eilin's abuser. There was more than needed to be done. Thorin gazed at the sky and instantly one of his ravens came flying down and landed on his shoulder. "Kill him slowly. Make him suffer." He said and the bird flew away. Within a few moments the dark sky filled with a dozen ravens who began circling above Gareth's quivering body.

Thorin turned his attention towards the accursed Inn that Eilin had wasted so many years of her young life, submerged in the worst filth that walked Middle Earth. Suddenly a new wave of anger came to animate the numbness that had overtaken him. He stayed frozen looking at the building and the lamps that were burning bright inside. Fresh screams of agony resounded in the dark forest as the ravens began poking Gareth's eyes out, but that didn’t touch Thorin at all.

He walked up the steps and opened the door. It was hard to remember this tavern. He had passed so many times by this road when he was King in exile, but he didn't recall entering. He had thoroughly avoided this place without knowing who was in there and how much she was suffering.

The irony of it all…

Had he entered…had he witnessed the terrible living and working conditions of these women he might have destroyed it sooner and put an end to their endless torture. Had he found Eilin earlier he might had been able to help her…she might had even escaped her atrocious fate. These dark thoughts felt like an ultimate try to find a scapegoat for Eilin's horrendous rape and the subsequent abduction she underwent now. He was trying to pin the blame on anyone. Her father who didn't try hard enough to claim her from her mother, her mother for not caring about her child as much as she cared about gold, himself for overlooking this place so many times without entering and even the Gods themselves for having allowed such filth to feed off the flesh of young women. No matter how many people he tried to blame one thing was certain. He couldn't change what happened to her in the past, how much it had branded her, how detrimental it was to the development of her character and how much suffering she had to undergo until this man fell in Thorin's hands. The only thing he could do now was walk up the ruined staircase that led to the room that Eilin used to share with Rhiannon.

Now as the decaying wooden planks screeched under the heaviness of his boots, he realized how engulfed he truly was by Eilin's past, both emotionally and physically. He knew how much he ached to burn it to ashes in order to give her a chance to finally heal. However there was still one thing that he had to do before everything else.

_I remember…_

Eilin had talked to him about her life in that place so many times that Thorin knew exactly where to go without any single thread of doubt. From her descriptions alone he was able to find her room easily even though so many years had passed since she left. Many different owners had taken over, nevertheless the building hadn't undergone any major renovations, so when Thorin stood in front of Eilin's window, the one she used to look at the outside world and dream of a different life, his eyes recognized her name carved next to Rhiannon's. His bloody finger passed over it and left a red trail behind. He looked around him and his lips twitched ever so slightly. The cheap green paint was chipping heavily and revealed under it a thick layer of black mold. He looked under his feet at the termite eaten wooden floor boards and then his eyes fell with disgust at the rusty iron beds and the yellow stained mattresses. He inhaled deeply and looked at the bed next to him.

Had that been Eilin's? Had his beautiful wife slept in this abhorring conditions once upon a time? He sat heavily on it and heard the springs complaining about his weight. Then he crossed his hands and looked at the floor boards between his boots. He saw the distinct pattern of a square that Eilin had described in such detail, so many times. He leaned down and buried the nose of his dagger between the gaps. Then he pushed and the hidden cover popped off with a creak of defeat. It revealed a black rusty box. Thorin placed it upon his knees. He held his breath as he opened it slowly, but the moment he saw the drawings that Rhiannon had saved his heart complained and his lips trembled. He took out the first one and his eyes watered as he saw the perfect drawing of an elderly Dwarf with a long beard full of braids and very long hair full of gems. The face had no resemblance to him, but Thorin knew that was Eilin's childhood efforts at representing the famous Oakenshield….the Dwarf for whom Rhiannon was telling her so many stories about. He began shuffling through all the drawings that were left in there and with each one his heart pumped even faster. When he finished a few tears had already created two clear paths on his dirty face.

He sat there trying to imagine Eilin painting those as she prayed to be spared from this torturous life….a life she had never chosen, but was forced upon her by people who hadn't been strong enough to take over their responsibilities. He rolled the drawings and placed them under his thick belt. Then he walked quickly down to the cellar were he found unlimited barrels of liquor. The job of drenching every single room on every floor was tedious but very satisfying. He returned for more barrels and he repeated the process around the perimeter of the building. Before re-entering he gave an indifferent side-glance to one of his crows that was nibbling the vertical incision on Gareth's stomach and saw his intestines hanging out. The wails of torture didn't touch him as he picked up two torches that were blazing and walked back up the stairs.

With one final cold look at Eilin's bed he set every single room alight. Then he took his time to admire the blazing fire spreading through the rotten wood and the cheap curtains quickly. His ability to withstand severe heat was very useful as he walked between the raging flames, spreading destruction everywhere. When he was satisfied there wasn't a single place in the Inn that was going to remain standing he threw a torch behind the bar and picked up an apple from one of the tables that was still standing. He appeared behind a thick curtain of smoke and walked down the steps. Then he dropped the last torch at the base of the staircase and a line of fire spread all around the building circling it with its scorching finality.

Thorin walked past the endless suffering of Gareth as his crows were picking him apart and found a boulder a little ways off that was clear from the heavy smoke. He sat on it heavily and closed his eyes. A faded smile ghosted his lips as he took a hearty bite from the green apple. Then he opened his eyes in order to feast at the scene of destruction that he had created in Eilin's past. He sat there calmly eating his apple as the "Forsaken Inn" was getting burned to ashes and Gareth's screams were becoming weaker with each passing moment. He stayed there patiently taking in the fire and Gareth's slow death with a vacant look in his eyes, uncaring about how hard the prostitutes were crying when they noticed the flames rising above the tree lines or how repulsed the rest of the employees were at the excruciating screeches of agony that resounded in the forest.

* * *

 

The break of dawn found Thorin sitting at the same boulder, having moved only a slightly. The eaten apple was turning brown next to his boot. His eyes were switching between the gutted body of Gareth and the smoldering charred remains of the "Forsaken Inn." He wouldn’t have moved at all hadn’t it been for one of his guards.

"Your Majesty?" the voice was hushed, almost afraid to address the King.

Thorin's eyes rolled to his direction slowly. There he saw the trembling figure of the owner of the Inn.

"He insisted to come Sir. They all saw the fire last night. He was begging to talk to you." The guard bowed.

Perth pulled his arm free from the guard's grip and walked with unsteady steps in front of the ruins. There he remained for several moments until he knelt down heavily and began weeping like a child. "Why did you do that to me? Why did you destroy me in this manner?"

Thorin pushed himself up and walked indifferently next to Perth. "Do you recognize this filth?" His lips curled up as he looked at Gareth's slaughtered remains.

Perth turned his head with great apprehension towards the crucified creature who vaguely resembled a man and whose guts were forming a warm pool of abhorring smells and myriads of flies upon the ground. "No…no…" He mumbled and gagged.

"Try harder. Did he frequent your joint?" Thorin crossed his hands behind his back.

Perth covered his mouth as he looked away. "No…I don't know him, I swear on my life!"

Thorin pursed his lips. "He used to frequent this Inn back in the days.”

“Not in my days Sir! I swear!” Perth sounded honest.

Thorin’s eyes thinned and he remained silent.

"How am I ever going to live now? This was my only source of income. Now I have nothing…nothing." Perth looked up with teary eyes.

Thorin observed him distantly for several moments and then pulled out a heavy pouch. He balanced it in the palm of his hand before throwing at Perth who caught it mid-air. "Look at these ruins and never forget what you witnessed here today. Look at the remains of this rapist and know this will be the fate of anyone who messes with my family. If I see a new building raising from these ashes I will return personally and burn it to the ground again. Use part of the gold I gave you to create a memorial for the Queen of the North instead and that might appease my anger and convince me to leave you alone."

Perth opened the pouch and his eyes burst with tears. Then he looked at the King in reverence before falling to the ground and crossing his hands above his head. "Oh may the Gods bless your Majesty! I will do as you command! I will raise a statue for your beautiful wife in this place and I shall never forget what I saw here. I will spread the word and all shall fear you. I will buy a new Inn with the rest of the gold and make a clean business out of it. It will become a true gem in this part of Middle Earth and whenever you or your family pass through you will all have free rooms and food from me! No more prostitution, no more filth! I will find a way to repay your kindness. You have my eternal gratitude!"

"Get up and go find your woman." Thorin rejoined dryly.

Perth didn't move. He was clutching Thorin's very generous gift and sobbing.

Thorin turned to the guard. "Release the ones who are not branded and take the ones with the mark of the lawless to the Northmen, apart from his wife. Send ravens to Bree and withdraw the army."

The guard bowed deeply. "At your command."

Thorin looked at the bloody remains of Eilin's rapist and huffed. Then with one last musing gaze towards the sobbing owner, he walked silently away.

As he mounted his horse his exasperation and anger about what happened the past few days and how irresponsibly Eilin had endangered her life and the life of their unborn child, returned full force and all his focus spun towards her.

 _Eilin…_.

 


	46. Burning Bridges

 

* * *

Eilin opened her eyes and stretched her ears the moment she heard a galloping horse approaching their camp. She held her breathe. Was it him? The horse passed her tent and she heard the exchange of some muffled words. She exhaled and closed her eyes again disappointed. It was already close to midday and Thorin was still missing since yesterday.

She had asked Dwalin repeatedly to go find her husband but he denied every time. Eilin didn't manage to get any sleep last night. Each time she heard horses her eyes flew open and because in a military camp that was such a common incident in the end Eilin gave up on sleep completely. That resulted in her being very tired today, with eyes that were burning from fatigue and a heart that was palpitating nervously for him. As for the wounds on her body, those were in absolute agony since she didn't put any of Oin's potion on them.

This noon found her sitting in her tent cross-legged, fidgeting like mad for a long time before giving up. She released a grunt of annoyance, sat up and decided to have a cup of water. When she pulled the tent up she saw Dwalin who was cleaning some freshly caught fish alongside the river shore. She huffed indignantly and walked up to him.

"What are you doing?" She spat.

He lifted the fish up to her face. "Cleaning this in order to feed you…."

"I don't want to eat." She crossed her arms.

"You should be eating properly, you should lather yourself with Oin's potion because your wounds look rough and you should be resting more." He said calmly and turned his attention back to gutting the fish.

"And you should be out there searching for your best friend." Eilin pointed back at the woods.

"Are you trying to guilt trip me?" Dwalin's tone was amused.

"He's been missing for a whole day!" Eilin snapped.

"Apparently he had a lot to take care off." Dwalin brushed her annoyance off.

"He's got so many men trained to look after him and help him. Yet I see no one interested enough that their King is missing in action!" Eilin granted a rather formidable scowl to Dwalin.

"Because we know he doesn't need any help." Dwalin raised his brow.

Eilin's lips became a thin line of disapproval. "If you don't go find him, I will do it myself."

"You will do no such thing. My orders are clear. You are to remain here. If you try to get on a horse I will force you off it." Dwalin returned with a calm honesty that rubbed Eilin the wrong way.

"He might be in danger! That filthy monster was crazy! You don't know what he was capable off!" Eilin rumbled.

"Don't be ridiculous. Now you want to help me to cook dinner?" Dwalin rejoined dismissively.

Eilin groaned angrily and turned around. When she was about to walk past the tent and go towards the horses, Dwalin's voice resounded heavy in the forest. "Get back into the tent my Queen before I force you to do it."

Eilin's eyes blazed. "Am I a prisoner?"

"You are under royal protection! As is your right! Now use it wisely, like you should have done before leaving the Shire…" –Dwalin raised his brow- "…alone." He added.

"Was that a reproach?" Eilin frowned.

"That is a request which comes from the heart." Dwalin's eyes were sincere.

Eilin felt something giving up in her.

Dwalin sighed. "I could really use some company you know. Sit beside me and reignite the fire please."

Eilin closed her eyes and shook her head. "I am tired…"

"Then go sleep and stop worrying. I've got everything." Dwalin returned.

Eilin got in the tent and sat down heavily. Her hands came around her belly protectively and she felt tears burning her eyes. Suddenly all her wounds started crying out in pain. The bruising under her ribs throbbed and the cut over her brow felt on fire. Her abused cheekbone was sending piercing jabs on her temple and the cut on her bottom lip felt too sore to touch. She didn't want Dwalin to look after her and stop her from leaving. She wanted her husband to come back and lick her wounds…possibly literally.

Concurrently she felt furious at him for being such an asshole to her father and for all those lies…those continuous tries to hide the truth from her with the excuse that he wanted to protect her. That pissed her off so much right now. She was not a little girl anymore. She didn't want protection from the truth. She just managed to face her biggest nightmare and persevere. Heck she even killed one of her abusers and felt no remorse.

Eilin laid back down and curled into a ball again, truly annoyed that she was floating between boiling fury and an insatiable urge to bury herself in his arms.

* * *

 

"What took you so long?" Dwalin held the reins of Thorin's horse.

Thorin alighted and walked towards the royal tent. "How is she?"

"She is well. Her wounds are all superficial, but she didn't allow me to put ointment on them. She only allowed me to clean her up at the spots that she couldn't reach. She needs more care than this." Dwalin followed him.

"I should have send the ravens to get Loa." Thorin mumbled.

"She doesn't need Loa. She needs you." Dwalin winced.

Thorin stopped outside the tent and glared at his friend. "Things needed to be taken care off."

Dwalin looked at Thorin's bloody tunic that was torn in places and at the soot that covered his forearms and face. "It seems you made quite a mess in taking care of those things."

Thorin's brow arched.

"Was it as bad as it looks?" Dwalin insisted.

The King's head tilted slightly, but he remained silent.

Dwalin pursed his lips and nodded. "Eilin wanted me to come find you. She asked me several times."

Thorin's brow remained elevated demanding a clarification.

Dwalin crossed his arms. "I explained to her that you needed to be left alone. That you would return when you finished hurting those who hurt her."

Thorin's lips turned down. "You did well."

Dwalin's eyes were worried. "Your long sufferance is rather visible in your countenance."

Thorin humphed and drew the tent back in order to go in, but Dwalin's hand fell on his arm. He stopped and looked back wordlessly.

"Don't let her see you like this. You are a mess." His friend cringed.

Thorin looked at his bloody clothes and swallowed heavily. He nodded quietly and walked towards the river shore. The last thing he wanted to do was worry his wife more. He took off his tunic and trousers before getting in the river. As the cold water engulfed him to the waist his hands began shaking slightly. All those violent emotions he had suppressed until he had Eilin under his care again safe and sound were now threatening to surface.

"You know she was really worried." Dwalin stood by the shore.

"You have no idea how worried I was for her." Thorin's voice was barely heard.

"I know…I saw you. I was with you at every single step." Dwalin frowned.

Thorin's fists clenched under water. "I died a million times…." he muttered under his breath.

"What?" Dwalin didn't hear anything.

"Let me bathe." Thorin's voice rejoined heavily.

Dwalin nodded. "I will find some soap for you and I will ask around for any spare clothes. Be right back."

Thorin didn't acknowledge his friend's effort to help him. He closed his eyes and felt the water surrounding him, cold and purifying. He held his breath and heard the bubbles bursting at the surface. Then suddenly his eyes burned and he felt threatened by an inevitable breakdown, which he couldn't afford at the moment.

He remained under water for as long as he could, swimming furiously in order to empty all the trapped anger that was still clinging on stubbornly inside him. When he finished and got dressed and walked back to the tent without noticing that he had forgotten his bloody tunic and trousers in front of the river.

He took fresh water and Oin's potions and entered the tent. The he stayed frozen for several moments feeling overcome. There was his One, sleeping so quietly that his heart complained. He stooped next to her and his hand lingered above her head for several tense moments. Then hi long fingers gently covered the side of her head and run down the length of her soft hair. He closed his eyes as he began searching for the wound that had caused the extensive bleeding down the side of her face when he first found her in that accursed cave. Soon enough his fingers grazed past it and he pulled her hair apart cautiously in order to clean it.

During his scrupulous work Eilin's breathing changed several times, making him stop. When he finished applying the medication to her head he pulled her gently until she lay on her back with her head turned towards him.

_Mahal give me strength…_

The prayer came unbidden the moment he saw her gorgeous face battered so bad that he could hardly recognize her. This time he was unable to stop his tears. They rolled down his long nose as he leaned down to prop his forehead on hers. His hand ghosted her bruised cheek and it remained there unsteady for several moments. The need to return to the Inn and pull apart whatever remained of that demon returned a thousand fold.

It took a long time for him to decide that he had enough courage to look at her bruised face and work on it. Then with a shaking hand he began cleaning her wounds thoroughly until there was no trace of any dried blood, before applying the ointment in generous quantities. During the whole process Eilin didn't seem to stir much.

When he was finally finished he proceeded to check her body. A large bruise was adorning her left hip that he caressed tenderly and when he pulled the tunic up to her armpit he saw abrasions and bruising under her left ribcage where the tattoo of his wolf was. He cleaned it lightly and after putting ointment on it he stopped and closed his eyes.

There was still one last thing he needed to check before he felt certain that he had done everything he could for her. He closed his eyes and propped his forehead on her shoulder as his hand crawled up her naked thigh. "Forgive me…." He murmured, not knowing if the apology was for the impending intrusion in her body or for the unbearable remorse at allowing her to get this hurt.

His fingers got buried under her underwear and expertly dipped inside her with unbearable gentleness. Then he gritted his teeth and pulled his hand out. When he saw no blood on them, he exhaled roughly and his eyes burned with a fresh bout of tears that he didn't wish to stop this time.

"I am not in the mood for sex." Her expressionless voice took him by surprise.

His lips became a thin line of disapproval. "Apparently you are in the mood to joke even though you came very close to dying." His voice became equally flat to hers.

She didn't reply.

"How do you feel?" He asked after several moments of silence.

"In pain…" -She murmured. He closed his eyes and his hand tightened on her shoulder- "Both inside and outside." She added.

His teeth gritted. "I am sorry you had to suffer, but those who hurt you suffered more."

She nodded. "That may satisfy your ego, but it doesn't pacify the gale in my heart Thorin."

He felt withdrawing so fast emotionally that he lost his breath. "You think that what I did was in order to satisfy my ego?" His voice dropped low.

"Dwalin said that you needed to clench your thirst for blood." Eilin returned.

"What did you expect me to do to the beast who defiled you all those years ago and returned to do the same now Eilin? Give him a warning, pat him on the head and send him on his way?" His voice was thick with emotion.

She shook her head. "I am not judging what you did to him…."

"That is exactly what you are doing right now." He pulled back and cupped his forehead.

Eilin turned around and looked at him. "I am simply telling you that what happened between us in the Shire and what I learned about my mother in the Inn, will not be fixed by your retribution."

Thorin inhaled deeply. "I can offer you as many apologies as you need about my behavior, but I cannot do anything about what you learned at the Inn. I know it must be painful to hear such cold words about your mother."

Eilin's eyes welled. "Don't call her that…A mother is a sacred title…Evelyn doesn't deserved it."

Thorin's eyes filled with sadness. He reached out to touch her hand. "I am sorry you had to find out about her in this manner."

She pulled away and sat up. "At least now I know the truth about her, about my father…and about you. Even though you tried hard to hide everything from me, now I know."

Thorin's fist clenched and his hand fell empty on the ground. "You are still sore with me…." He murmured.

"More than. Do you think that I would forgive what you did to my father so easily? Or that I'd overlook all those lies from you?"

"I told you so many times that I lied in order to shield you from the pain. I was mistaken…I am aware. I asked your forgiveness before and I will do it again until you are ready to give me a second chance…I am deeply sorry!" His eyes seared through hers.

"Don't you think the -second chance- is a bit of a miscalculation? Maybe we should call it a fifth….a sixth…a hundredth… How many chances do you wish me to give you Thorin? This isn't the first time you failed me." Eilin's eyes were hard on his.

"No it isn't and you found the worst way to punish me." He whispered.

"Punish you? You think I ran away from the Shire in order to punish you? I ran away in order to ask about my mother…not to get away from you. The world doesn't revolve around you!" Eilin said gruffly without noticing that his hands were shaking badly.

"Neither around you! You are the one acting as if you are alone in this world! You think all this is a joke? You think your life is a pun? You have your children to answer to, you have the baby in your loins to answer to and you have me to answer to! Have you asked us if we are ready to lose you?!" The explosion that came from Thorin took her by surprise.

Eilin flinched away.

"You punished me and our children by running away in the middle of the night alone. I don't care what your original intention was…but what you did was extremely risky and you should be bloody thankful that your children know nothing of what happened the past two days! It's one thing to suffer about the past and another to take that pain and direct it towards your family without any sense of responsibility!" He spat and his eyes held in them a tempest that was hard to conceal.

Eilin crossed her arms and felt her eyes watering. "I never meant to hurt anyone…" She murmured.

He raised his hand and pointed at her with a trembling finger. "You almost died out there! You think that doesn't have any consequences to your fucking family?!" He thundered.

Eilin blinked and several tears run down her cheeks.

"You abandoned our children, you left in the middle of the night without thinking of them or your pregnancy just because you were mad at me, at your father, at the past…I don't know…" Thorin murmured and began pacing up and down. He was unable to figure out what to do with himself or how to redirect his fury.

"I left because I wanted to learn about my mother, not because I was mad at you!" Eilin rebuked fiercely.

"I don't care! No reason is a good enough for endangering your life and the life of the baby that is in your belly! No reason is good enough when we came so close to losing you!" He shouted furiously and grabbed his temples.

"Thorin...wait…" Eilin frowned and stood up also. She made an attempt to touch his forearm, but he drew back.

"You left in the middle of the night without an escort even though you are not a nameless maiden anymore, but the bloody Queen of the North! What was going on through your mind?!" He snapped.

"How could I have known that my rapist was waiting for me in the shadows?" She rebuked.

He grabbed her arm and lowered it aggressively. "If it wasn't him, it would have been someone else! Do you know many Queens that dash into the night alone to find themselves without any means of protection!?" He bellowed.

The tent got lifted and Dwalin sneaked a look in. "Guys you are being heard down to Bree. Is everything okay?"

"OUT!" Thorin and Eilin shouted simultaneously.

Dwalin cringed and left the tent fall back in place.

"I didn't think that I was in any danger Thorin!? I wouldn't have undertaken this trek had I known that death was waiting for me out there! I am not stupid!" Eilin yelled.

"No you are irresponsible!" Thorin hurled back at her.

"I wasn't thinking clearly! Did you ever consider that our argument had a lot to do with my decisions?!" She grumbled.

"Decide if I was to blame or not because you are making me furious right now!" Thorin barked.

Eilin pulled back and her eyes thinned. "You are not helping me by being this angry."

"So should I fall at your feet and ask for your forgiveness again? I did that back in the Shire and I allowed you all the time you needed away from me in order to calm down and what did I manage?" Thorin took two steps and came to her face.

Eilin flinched back instinctively.

"I gave you permission to act irresponsibly and risk your life for nothing!" He spat.

"It wasn't for nothing. I learned about my mother." Eilin's eyes were cascading with tears.

"Don't give me that reason again unless you want to drive me mad!" Thorin snarled.

"Oh, you are pissing me off so much right now!" Eilin wiped the tears from her eyes.

"As if I wasn't pissing you off when I was at your mercy and begging your forgiveness…So what's new?" Thorin spat dryly.

She didn't answer.

"I don't care how angry you are at me right now! You may despise me, you may hate me, but what you did almost punished our children for their rest of their lives. You almost died for this holy mess and you endangered the life of our unborn baby! Be warned! I will not have any more of this silliness! I will tie you down if need be until we reach Erebor. If you want to separate me in the end, so be it, but you won't punish our children by risking your life again! They will continue to have their mom alive and well! When it comes to me and you...I will do the best I can to earn your forgiveness, but the final decision will be up to you. I always wanted to be honored to stroke the first wrinkles on your face. To be blessed to see you grow an old woman and maybe become a grandma. To be privileged to die first because I cannot stand the thought of losing you! I will not allow you to steal that dream away from me just because you want to play around with your life! As long as you are in my power I will not allow you to risk your life again so superficially and you are certainly not permitted to die! Is that clear?!" He was shaking with rage.

Eilin cowered away and her mind seemed to have frozen as it had picked up only one word through all that frenzy. The one which hurt her the most. "Separate?" She whispered.

Thorin arched his brow, but he remained silent. "Is that the only thing you heard?"

Eilin closed her eyes and her hands became tight fists. A wave of bitterness surged through her heart. "No Thorin I heard everything and you are very clear. I want to return to the Shire to see our children!" She made an attempt to sound firm.

"Forget it!" He rebuked angrily.

Eilin's countenance took a plunge. "Don't do this to me please. Don't punish me like that…" She begged.

Thorin walked away from her and rubbed his temples. "Punish? That is not my expertise, but yours. I am simply picking up the broken pieces you are leaving behind with your erratic behavior. You cannot see them because when I found out you were missing I told them that we decided to leave for Erebor abruptly in order for you to see your father. I didn't want them to understand how serious the situation was with you, or how potentially dangerous. Are you going to go back and force them to see you so severely beaten up? How are you going to explain what happened? How are you going to pacify their terror when they see your face in such a mess?"

Eilin cupped her mouth and grabbed her chest which was in physical pain. "I am sorry…I was not thinking clearly."

Thorin shook his head and closed his eyes. "Which you have been doing all the time lately. I didn't want to scare our babies with what happened. They know you are well and on the road to Erebor."

"Thank you..." Eilin murmured feeling overwhelmed.

"Which was a fucking lie!" He roared suddenly.

Eilin looked up fearfully.

"You know…a LIE! The ones you hate so much?!" Thorin spat between his teeth.

She didn't know what to say.

"Do you notice a much needed pattern here Eilin? I lied again in order to protect our children from getting hurt, much like I had done to protect you when I learned about Othin. Does that make sense to you perchance?" He hissed.

Eilin tried to touch his hand again. "Thorin…" She whispered.

He pulled away heatedly. "All this happened just because you cannot come to terms with the past and because you are unable to understand that sometimes people lie because they want to protect the ones they love! I came so close to being enforced to tell our poor babies that their mother died!"

Eilin closed her eyes in abandonment.

"You are accusing me of being heartless towards your father, while you were equally heartless towards your own flesh and blood! Were you thinking of anyone else when you run away apart from yourself?! I can understand how angry you are at me for how bad I treated your father and I will always feel remorse for that. I will express it as many times as you wish. I understand also the need to learn about your mother, but was that the right way to go about it? Wouldn't it have been easier to wake me up and ask me to escort you to that bloody tavern so you could enquire about her in safety?"

Eilin frowned. "Yes."

"I told you before we are not alone anymore Eilin! You keep forgetting and I don't like that at all. I am not oblivious to how much I hurt you or how big my responsibility is in this bloody mess, but that doesn't eliminate that you made some very bad decisions." He continued mercilessly.

Eilin shook her head. "I never wanted to hurt my babies. I love them so much."

"I never wanted to hurt you either and I love you beyond count yet you didn't care about that either. I could have helped you, but in a moment of crisis you chose to leave instead of asking my help. How should I interpret that Eilin? In your moment of pain, instead of coming to me, you run away from me…." His eyes looked unbearably hurt.

Eilin gritted her teeth and tried to touch him again. "Certainly not the way you are trying to interpret it and stop pulling away from me!"

Thorin's nose flared. "Then tell me how to take it, for I am at a loss!"

"I don't know anything anymore Thorin! I am in pain both emotionally and physically and all I know is that your yelling is not helping me!" Eilin rebuked heavily.

Thorin tilted his head. "Then maybe I should leave you alone. That may help you better, what do you think?"

Eilin's heart exploded with unbearable bitterness, because the only thing she wanted from him at that moment was a hug…nothing more. "Why not then?!"

"Very well." -He inclined his head- "Just know that you are under close supervision both from the sky and in the ground so don't think about dashing into the night in order to find yourself again."

"You don't have to sound so biting." Eilin flared her shoulders proudly.

"I don't have to sound like anything. You don't have to hear my voice at all." Thorin said flatly and raised the tent.

Eilin made an attempt to go after him, but stopped herself at the last moment. "Fine!" She spat.

"Fine!" He returned and allowed the tent to close behind him.

Eilin staggered, grabbed her temples and closed her eyes as her heart was thudding loud in her ears. The word separate that Thorin had so casually thrown into their argument had flared up an ache in her heart that she had never felt before and she didn't know how to handle it. Just as she was about to turn around and follow him in order to reignite their argument and ask for explanations about that damned word the tent was thrown open again.

She swirled around and saw him standing at the entrance as imposing as ever. Her brows clouded.

He walked inside like a whirlwind and stopped in front of her with a liquid motion that made her want to grab his biceps for support. "What now?" She whispered taken aback.

He reached out and clasped her hand tightly. Then he turned it around and placed the wedding ring in her palm.

Eilin's eyes instantly surged with tears. "You found it…" She murmured.

"The crows did…they found it in the forest, then the wolf picked up your scent and we…I…" He stammered.

Eilin felt her throat closing down. "Oh heavens Thorin…" She mumbled.

"Hadn't it been for them I wouldn't have found you…" His voice broke.

Eilin felt a sob climbing up her neck and she shook her head. "Don't do this…please."

"You would have died for nothing and then I would have withered away after you….and our children would have been parentless…" His voice was barely heard and his face was a twisted mask of agony.

Eilin felt hot tears running from her eyes and her body shuddering hard.

"So what's the lesson learned?" He murmured.

She shook her head unable to utter a single word.

Thorin tightened his fingers around her hand and gritted his teeth. "It's up to you to decide if you still want to wear it." He said and without waiting for an answer he walked out of the tent.

Eilin's knees collapsed and she sat heavily on the ground. Her fist curled protectively around her wedding ring and even though her need to go after him was overpowering she didn't move a single inch.

* * *

 

Thorin walked several feet away and then leaned his hands on a desk that was full of scrolls. He felt his heart in physical pain and his head on fire. His whole body was shaking hard, but the worst were his hands. He closed his eyes and tried to put a bridle on his emotions that were running wild. The last thing he ever wanted was to have another heated argument with her. All he ever wished to do was take care of her wounds and embrace her as she talked to him about the hell she went through. He never wanted to attack her in this manner, but apparently the fear of almost losing her took the best from him. These past two days hadn't been only hell on earth for her, but for him also.

He grabbed a quill and a clean scroll and lingered for several moments. That is when he heard a yelp next to him. He turned and saw Thrór who was trying to push his muzzle against Thorin's thigh. "Not now boy." The King's voice was completely broken, as was his spirit. He turned his attention to the scroll again and wrote a lengthy message for Bilbo and another for Dain. He tied the messages at two of his loyal crows and send them off. Then he stayed there with his eyes closed for a long time.

"Your argument was so loud it resounded in the forest of Lothlórien, they say…." Dwalin spoke quietly next to him.

Thorin flinched. "Bree or Lórien? Decide **…** "

Dwalin sighed and leaned upon the desk and crossed his arms. "You guys worried me. How are you?"

It took Thorin several moments to compose himself in order to speak. "I almost lost her Dwalin. I have never been so afraid in my life. Every battle I ever partook in pales in comparison to the fear I felt for Eilin's life. I thought the zenith of terror for me had been when I witnessed the slaying of my grandfather or Siv's untimely death...however Eilin proved me wrong. Our kids would have become orphans, because if she died I would have followed her. The new baby would have been denied the opportunity to be born and all that because of her daddy issues…'

"You are mad at her and you sound rather prickly." Dwalin pursed his lips.

"I am immeasurably mad and honesty hurts…." Thorin rebuked heavily.

"You know she went through hell right?" Dwalin added carefully.

"You think I didn't try to console her? She still needs someone to pin the blame on and I am the easiest target." Thorin rebuked.

"She killed a man. She got punched, kicked and almost raped again. I am sure she would appreciate a hug instead of being yelled at." Dwalin frowned.

"Then she should allow me to hug her instead of pushing me away constantly." Thorin looked up angrily.

Dwalin closed his eyes and exhaled.

Thorin humphed and walked towards the horses.

"Where are you going?" Dwalin gave him a guarded look.

"To take Thrór back to Thrárin." -Thorin said and mounted his horse- "Don't let her out of your sight."

Dwalin sighed. "At your command."

Thorin set his horse in a gallop. A sharp whistle made the wolf follow the King and soon enough their outlines were concealed by the heavy trees around.

* * *

 

"So is mommy alright?" Thrárin's eyes were nervous.

Dis smiled and looked at the big bouquet of flowers that she was holding. "Not only is she alright, she also asked me to make you guys the most beautiful flower crowns as a gift from her to you."

"Daddy looked scared before he left." Thrárin pouted.

"He wasn't scared love. He just needed to take care of business, he told you." Dis caressed Thrárin's curly hair.

"Is he better now?" The young Prince winced.

"He is escorting mom back to Erebor. He sends his love. You read his message, didn't you?" Dis raised her brows.

"I cannot read!" Thrárin puckered his lips.

"But I read it for you…" Dis pinched his cheek.

"They are both fine Shorty, I read the message too." Rhianaye chimed in and then continued picking up flowers for her bouquet.

"Did you read the message Durin?" Thrárin turned eagerly towards his older brother whose word he trusted more than any other.

Durin swallowed a large bite of Loa's tasty carrot cake and smiled. "Yeah, read it too. Mom and dad are fine and on the way back home. We are to stay here and enjoy our vacation with auntie Dis, Bilbo and Uncle Balin."

Thrárin grinned widely. "Okay. Can I have some of that?" He pointed at Durin's cake.

"Sure…here." Durin smiled and gave him a piece.

"Can I have all of it?" Thrárin took the piece and looked at him eagerly again.

Durin shook his head, but nonetheless gave him the rest of the cake. "Chew with your mouth closed." He advised.

"Is mom sad about her dad?" Rhianaye asked suddenly.

Dis felt her mouth drying out. "A little bit."

"Is she maybe a bit scared of him?" Rhianaye rejoined.

Dis pursed her lips. "Not scared, but maybe a bit nervous about what he is going to tell her."

"Daddies are good and kind and they love you. They don't make you nervous." Thrárin chimed in.

Dis found herself in a rather difficult position at that moment. The penetrating eyes of the twins were on her instantly. "Well, not all fathers are good…." She stopped and cringed.

Durin raised his brows.

"Let me correct myself. Some parents don't make the proper choices for their children and that can have a rather bad impact on the life of said child." Dis crossed her hands patiently and looked at the kids straight in the eyes.

"Urkar made the wrong choices with mom." Durin rejoined.

"I don't know the story so well, but from the few things I know…he didn't manage to be the father he wished for your poor mother and that hurt her a lot." Dis explained.

"That is why mom was always sad about her parents?" Rhianaye's eyes watered.

Dis reached out and caressed her long black hair. "Yes honey. She was bitter that she never met them. That is why she is so nervous about finding her father now. You see I reckon she has so many questions for him and she is afraid of the answers she might get."

"Like why wasn't he there for her?" Durin rejoined.

Dis pressed her lips. "Yes."

"I understand what you are saying aunt, but I like…Urkar…Othin or whatever his name is…" Durin frowned.

"Grandad…I think he'd appreciate being called that. He seems to be a rather sweet man, at least to us who have no history with him." Dis reciprocated the smile.

"Yes he is! He is always smiling!" Rhianaye intervened happily.

"And always polite." Durin added.

"And he likes to play with me and hear what I have to tell him about the forest!" Thrárin clapped his hands.

"He makes amazing arrows and he is an expert archer. Cannot wait for him to teach me more to be honest." Durin smiled.

"As if your mom or dad couldn't do that…" Dis raised her brow disapprovingly.

"He is more patient with me, than both of them combined." Durin returned.

Rhianaye laughed. "That's what grandparents are for. Remember what dad used to tell us about great grandad Thrór? He was always allowing him to play behind the back of his austere dad."

Dis chuckled. "That is true. Grandpa Thrór was amazing and I believe given the time grandpa Othin will be amazing for you kids as well."

"Will he be equally good for mom though?" Durin frowned and pinned down his aunt with one of his usually uncomfortably penetrating gazes.

"I think he will my love…in the end." Dis replied with a sad smile.

"Is that the reason she didn't take us with her auntie?" Rhianaye pressed her lips testily.

"Your momma didn't want to ruin your vacation my darling. She needed to talk to her father promptly, but she knew how much you were enjoying yourselves here and she didn't want to spoil that for you. Eilin is a very good momma." Dis rejoined calmly.

Thrárin jumped up and down. "Yes she is and I miss her a lot!"

"We will see her soon. For now, can you kids stop with all the questions and have the fun that your parents are aiming for you?" Dis rolled her eyes.

Rhianaye smiled and tilted her head. "I want to send her a message aunt. Can you call one of dad's ravens?"

Dis nodded. "Of course my love.

"Where is Thrór auntie? Haven't seen him at all after daddy left." Thrárin made an attempt to one of his father's formidable frowns.

"I believe the wolf followed him my darling." Dis cringed.

Thrárin's lips pouted. "He likes daddy more than he likes me. He was my pet, not his!"

Dis pulled him in and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. "I am sure the wolf will return to you quickly my love. You are the one he liked from the first moment. He just followed your dad because he felt…" – _what are you going to say? The wolf felt the danger?- "_ Because well your dad's soul has a wolf residing in it as well. The wolf felt a kinship with him…"

Thrárin raised his brows. "Oooooh, right…."

Durin snorted and shook his head.

"Now come on all of you. It is time to take a bath because you've been in and out of the lake all day and the sun is about to go down. Then we eat whatever wonderful Loa has decided to cook for us and then we can go down to the village to listen to the flute players. Then maybe Master Bilbo can read us some of the adventures he shared with dad until you fall asleep. How does that sound?" Loa stood up and picked up Thrárin in her arms.

"Perfect!" The young Prince exclaimed happily.

"Speaking of Loa, why is she running towards us like that? You think something happened?" Rhianaye stood up also and looked behind Dis.

Durin frowned and pushed himself up likewise. "She is following Lis."

"Stop right there young lady! If I see you talking bad to the Prince I am going to thrash you!" Loa barked.

Lis pulled her arm away from her mother's tight grip and walked up to Durin angrily. Then she raised her hand and slapped him across the face so hard that everyone froze. Loa grabbed her chest and covered her mouth. "Oh, Mahal help us…" she stuttered in absolute shock.

Rhianaye cupped her mouth and snorted, Thrárin seemed confused and Dis raised her brows rather impressed at the young girl's audacity. As for Prince Durin…he was left speechless.

He looked at Lis, cradling his cheek, unable to form any words.

Lis was trembling with rage. "You have some nerve reprimanding me like that my Lord and future King! I have been locked up in my room crying my eyes out, trying to understand what I did wrong for three days! Have you seen how hurt your mother was when she talked about her father? I did and it broke my heart because I lost my father! I cannot have him back because he lays dead under the very stones of Erebor, but your mother can have her father back! I wanted to give her some hope and make her happy, because I know how much it hurts not to have your parents. You have no idea how much I hurt when my dad at that furnace accident and how much I prayed to die along with him. When your dad took over me I felt like I found a new hope. I adore King Thorin and I would do anything to please him, but I hate ungrateful kids like you! You have no idea how lucky you are to have both your parents alive and well. They adore you, they are always there to take care of you and give you as many hugs as you want. My father isn't alive anymore, but your mom's father is and maybe one of his hugs can fix her broken heart! I only wanted to help! I made an oath to King Thorin that my life was dedicated to protect his family. My dream was always to become the first she-warrior of my kin and your personal bodyguard, but after seeing your cruelty I want nothing to do with you anymore!"

Loa closed her eyes and her knees unlocked. "We are done for…"

Lis took off the sword Thorin had forged for her and threw it at Durin's feet. "Take it and find someone else to protect you. I don't care if you get mad at me and send me and my mother in exile. We have seen hell, we are not afraid. We are going to find our way!" She said proudly.

Durin raised both brows and caressed his red cheek.

Lis humphed and turned around. She flared her chest and walked away haughtily.

"Wow…" Rhianaye muttered.

Thrárin pushed Dis away and after he was placed on the ground he went and pulled Durin's shirt. "Did that hurt?"

Durin's eyes were pooling with tears. He shook his head and looked away. "No…" He spoke in a hushed tone.

Loa gave her daughter's back a deadly glare and then groveled at Durin's feet. "Please master don't tell the King what happened today. My daughter is a hot headed Dwarfling who doesn't know better. She doesn't understand the implications of her horrifying attitude. Please don't punish us, don't punish her. She is always so sad after her father's death. She never got over it. Please Sir….please…." Loa broke down.

Dis touched her shoulder. "Come dear woman. Stand up and go back to the house. Prepare us dinner and don't worry. Everything is going to be alright."

Loa grabbed Dis' hands tightly. "Please my lady have mercy! I cannot believe what my idiotic child just did! She slapped Durin the Deathless! We are done for…done for…!" She hollered and began plucking her hair out one by one.

Dis shook her head. "Can you do me a favor and stop? Nothing happened which wasn't justified. Isn't that right Durin?" She glared at her nephew angrily.

Durin gave her a fleeting look. "Yeah…."

Loa looked terrified from one to the other. "Please don't tell the King…don't send us in exile. Don't destroy us because of her foolishness."

"Her bravery you mean." Dis raised her brow.

Loa seemed confused. "What?"

"Your daughter acted bravely today and I admire her for that. How about you Durin?" Dis addressed him again with the same austere tone.

Durin cleared his throat and wiped a stray tear from his cheekbone before anyone could notice. "Yeah sure." He muttered.

Loa shook her head bewildered. "What are you telling me, my Lady?" Her eyes kept switching between Durin and Dis.

"Trust me when I say that everything is okay. Go to the house, prepare our dinner and don't let me hear that you punished the girl." Dis smiled.

Loa nodded fearfully and bowed to the ground. "May the Gods bless you…..may Mahal gift you with many centuries of life, may you…."

Dis closed her eyes. "Just go…"

Loa picked up the hem of her dress and hurried down the hill towards the house. That left them all mute observing Durin who had his back turned to them.

Dis cleared her throat. "Now who is going to take a bath first?"

Rhianaye looked at her brother and her lips parted as if she was ready to say something. Dis shook her head and looked towards the Prince. Rhianaye closed her mouth and nodded. "I will!" She raised her hand.

"No I will!" Thrárin scowled.

"Maybe Durin will?" Dis gave him a guarded look.

"Not now." Durin replied quietly.

Dis cleared her throat. "Then between you two whoever runs first in the house, gets first in the bath tab."

Rhianaye pressed her lips and gazed at Thrárin. "That'd be me Shorty!"

"No way!" Thrárin yelled and dashed down the hill like the wind. Soon he was followed by his sister.

Dis swallowed heavily and touched Durin's shoulder. "She was not wrong you know."

"I know." Durin's voice was broken.

"You okay?"

"Yeah." He replied.

"Are you coming?" Dis pressed her lips.

"In a while."

Dis sighed and looked at the sword. "Don't leave it here."

"I won't." He said.

"Will you stay up here long?" Dis caressed his hair.

He pulled away without allowing her to see his face. "No…"

"If we are not in the house you will find us at the village market, okay?" Dis insisted.

"Okay." He rejoined flatly.

She pressed his shoulder and walked away. Dis hated to admit that this could prove to be a rather good lesson for the haughty young Prince who was born privileged and never had to worry about a thing in his life up to now. She knew his heart was in the right place, but a few wallops every now and again… never hurt anyone.

With those thoughts she made it to the door, but Bilbo didn't allow her to enter. He stood at the entrance with his brow raised. "He is waiting for you behind the willow tree at the meadows."

Dis tilted her head. "Who?"

"Thorin is there, but he didn't want the kids to see him." Bilbo pressed his lips.

Dis inhaled sharply and looked up the road with a newly found urgency in her beautiful azure eyes.

* * *

 

"What happened?" Dis was out of breath.

Thorin was kneeling next to Thrór. He had just finished tying Eilin's handkerchief around his neck. "Didn't you read the message?"

"I did…is she alright though….tell me…tell me everything." Dis grabbed his biceps.

"She is alright…the Gods had mercy on us…." He murmured and closed his eyes.

"Thorin I want to know everything, not your prayers to the Gods. Is she badly hurt?" Dis pressed him on.

"I am really not in the mood to repeat myself. Everything was in the message. There is nothing more I can tell you. How are the kids?" He looked at her sternly.

"Durin had a rather vicious encounter with Lis and they had myriads of questions about Eilin and their grandad. Apart from that they are doing fine. They are having the time of their lives." Dis knelt next to him.

Thorin's eyes were penetrating. "Do I even want to know what happened with Lis?"

"From how utterly exhausted and emotionally wasted you look….no. Take my word for it, the kids will find a way to solve this between them. I trust them." Dis' smile was loving.

Thorin closed his eyes. "Me too."

"Why didn't you bring Eilin with you wolf?" Dis' smile morphed into a serious frown.

Thorin pursed his lips and wondered how clever it was to say how battered Eilin was to his sister. "There was no point. Tomorrow we start for Erebor. You will remain here as long as it takes for Dain to come and escort you back. Bilbo is informed. I don't want to take advantage of his hospitality, but after what happened with Eilin I don't want you to travel alone back."

Dis clasped his hand and smiled. "We have Balin. He can command the Battalion."

"He is not enough Gerbil. You know I love him and I trust him with my life…but he is not enough after what I saw lurking out there. Please stay put until Dain comes with more men." His eyes welled.

Dis pressed her lips and pressed his cold hand. "We will honey don't worry."

Thorin nodded. "Let the kids have all the fun they deserve in the meantime. Did they play at the lake today?"

Dis' lips curled up into a sweet smile. "They were in it all day long. I couldn't get them out and they loved Eilin's idea of the flower crowns."

"How about Rhianaye's appetite?" Thorin's smile was drained.

"She is eating fine, stop worrying. All of them have a good appetite as they are swimming, riding and playing all day. They leave in the morning and get back late at night. They are roaming the whole village all day long and every single house is looking after them. Don't worry about a thing." Dis caressed his bearded jawline.

"How is Thrárin doing with the diving practice?" Thorin rejoined.

"Durin is helping him…he loves taking care of his young brother." Dis' face lit up.

"Rhianaye's riding?" Thorin raised his brows.

"Bilbo and Balin have her. She is doing better by the day. She is going to gallop back to Erebor alone, mark my words." Dis' finger caressed his cheek.

Thorin pushed his knuckles under his eye to dry the tears. "Durin's shenanigans?"

"He will figure everything out in the end. Boy is wise, but a bit rough, much like you were in his age. Don't worry." Dis reassured him.

Thorin's heart complained. "Good." -He felt his eyes burning anew but he didn't give himself the time to break down in front of his sister. He stood up and scratched Thrór behind the ears- "Take this bad boy back to Thrárin and give him a big steak for dinner. He deserves it."

Dis took the rope from Thorin's hand. "Is it true that he picked up Eilin's scent?"

"If it wasn't for the wolf and the ravens I wouldn't have found her on time." He looked at his sister and the tears threatened to choke him once more.

Dis' eyes watered and she wrapped her arms around his back tightly. "My love…."

He reciprocated the warm embrace. "Go and take care of them. Have a good time…okay? All of you." His voice was barely heard.

"Take care of Eilin and yourself and please keep in touch." She kissed his cheek.

He reciprocated. "I will Gerbil…now go."

_Before I break down on you…._

Dis gave him one last adoring stare and walked away. Thorin waited until he could see her no more and then made an attempt to stand up and go to his horse, but his knees were unable to hold him up. For some reason his body collapsed under the weight of what had taken place the last few days without him expecting it to do so. He was able to take a few steps before kneeling down once more. He looked up with a heaving breath, frowning at his inability to control himself. His chest welled, his eyes burned and the eruption of emotions came seemingly out of nowhere.

He knelt there next to the willow tree that Eilin offered him a flower crown not so long ago, now unable to know she still wanted to be his wife. He covered his face and allowed himself to sob as his mind released all the terror he had experience for his wife's well-being. He prayed to the Gods to spare her the pain, to help her find her peace with her father and he thanked them gratefully for giving him permission to keep her. So he stayed there crying out all his build-up frustrations not so far away from Bilbo's home where a warm light was emerging from the windows and happy voices were echoing from the inside. He remained there crying, not knowing that his son was crying alone in the opposite hill and only when his tears dried out was he able to stagger back to his horse.

* * *

 

When he finally reached the camp after a long ride, the night had engulfed every tent and there were only a few guards around the fires singing low melodic tunes. Thorin threw a quick glance at Dwalin who was sleeping upright leaning against a boulder next to the royal tent. That was more than enough to alert the bodyguard who instantly opened his eyes and picked up his war hammer. "Who goes?!" He thundered.

Thorin closed his eyes. "Thank you."

Dwalin exhaled roughly and leaned back his head. "You scared the life out of me."

"Go and rest. I am here." Thorin's voice sounded drained.

Dwalin shifted slightly and closed his eyes again. "No one is moving me from this spot. Go find your wife and get some sleep. You look like death."

Thorin lingered for several moments before entering the tent. The soft light of a lantern was throwing its orange hue over Eilin's hurdled figure and Thorin's heart complained.

He walked slowly to her and checked her wounds careful not to arouse her. Then he laid behind her, wrapped his arm gently around her body and waited with baited breath. Eilin's breath changed, she shifted and did something she had never done during their eleven years of being together. She pulled away from his embrace and scooted further off before settling down again.

Thorin felt a hand grabbing his neck and suffocating him. He remained frozen for several moment before turning his back at her, deeply wounded. His bloodshot eyes looked at the flame flickering weakly inside the lantern for a very long time ….

_She might hate you…she might not want you to touch her, but at least she is alive and that is more than enough._

Indeed, it was more than enough to hear her heavy breathing and to know that her heart was still beating. He didn't want to sleep…..he wanted to stay awake in order to count her breaths…nevertheless finally sleep came unbidden and pulled him in.

And they slept like that…with their backs turned to each other …


	47. I am your bodyguard

 

Eilin inhaled sharply and open her eyes. She could barely grasp the fading memory of the nightmare that woke her up, but there was a tight feeling lingering in her stomach. The soft tapping of the rain outside did nothing to pacify her. Her heart was racing and she was drenched in sweat. The flame in the lantern had grown very weak as the oil was almost gone and it was flickering so much that the shadows in the tent were threatening to become monsters ready to snatch her away once again.

She closed her eyes tightly and she felt the convulsing of a muscle under her palm. That is when she realized that she was not sleeping on the ground anymore, she was literally laying on top of her husband. There was a strong heartbeat under her ear and his scent swarm her senses as she slowly woke up. She looked up to see Thorin sleeping, with his arm wrapped around her shoulder. His loose grip on her though paled in comparison to how possessively she was holding onto him.

How in the name of Mahal did they end up embracing when last night they fell asleep with their backs turned to each other? She remembered how coldly she shuffled away from him last night. All her emotions were a tangled mess and their edges were still singed. She was hurting and it didn't matter where the pain was coming from. Everything was hurting her…even him. So when he made an attempt to hug her she pushed him away. She wanted to convey a message to him….she wasn't ready to forgive him no matter how much this distance was aching her.

Apparently her resolution faded away during their sleep, because right now she was stuck on him like a barnacle. Anger surged through her at this weakness  and she prepared to push him away again. However her body decided against her reason once more. Her hands tightened around his tunic and she cuddled against him snuggly. She held her breath and his strong heartbeat dragged the first emotional sob away from the depths of her heart.

Suddenly she got swept inside an asphyxiating tornado of emotions that literally consumed her. She felt unwilling to conceal the surge of bitterness about Evelyn or her nervousness about facing her father….as for the need to embrace her children... that was stifling her. Never mind all her wounds that were there to remind her at how close she came to death. She replayed all those moments in that dark, decaying cave and with each thought a fresh bout of tears exploded from her. Her fists tightened around his tunic and she pressed her face on his chest needing to take in his very essence in order to save the pieces of her that were necrotizing.

She closed her eyes and felt her lower belly pressing on his hip. The certainty that their baby was secured between them overwhelmed her so much that she moaned hard.

* * *

 

Thorin felt his throat closing down and tried not to move too much. The last thing he wanted was to make her pull away from him. This damned hug was what he wanted to give her ever since the first moment they argued back in the Shire. Now that he had it, he desired to do everything in order to keep it. He wanted to stay still and pretend to be asleep as her body was quivering on top of his. His lips twisted in a grimace of agony as he prayed that she wouldn't run away from him ever again. He pushed his own wrecked emotions back down and gritted his teeth in a final effort to remain immovable. His body though had its own ideas on how to comfort his wife and it took over without asking his opinion. His hand slid up her shaking arm and cupped her shoulder tightly bringing her over to him. Then his fingers traced her hand that was grasping his chest tightly and curled around it. That is when he felt her wedding ring cold and hard under his fingertips and he broke apart.

The relief he felt now that he was having her in his arms and that she was wearing her wedding ring, was beyond words. He knew they were far from being alright, that there was so much to be solved yet between them…still this hug was all he ever needed. He enwrapped and kept her upon his bosom as they both cried, her loudly and him silently forever and a day without letting each other go.

* * *

 

And that is how they woke up the next day.

Eilin found herself that morning with her cheek crushed on his naked chest, with her mouth half open and her tongue completely dry. Saliva had trickled between her lips and stained him. Her fingers were twisted around his so tightly, they were completely numb. As for the leg that was under her, it was dead. She was certain she wouldn't have woken up, hadn't it been for the pressing need to relieve her bladder. She was dazed both physically and emotionally, but definitely felt better than yesterday. Both at the wounds on her body, but also in her heart. She knew that thorough crying session in his arms last night had worked wonders and she was slightly picked that she was unable to self soothe as effectively. All those raw feelings she had about what had taken place got slightly muffled from his loving hug, but the answers she wanted were still unanswered.

That worried her because today she didn't feel emotionally strong enough to elicit another argument with him. She knew that when he was in this mood he was ready to enter a brawl over virtually nothing…much like she was and she was not looking forward to that. Couldn't she stay in this tight cuddle forever and forget about everything else? Her face fell. No, that was not possible. They'd finally have to move at some point or another, speak and then….all hell would break loose once more, right?

With a sense of dread Eilin pushed herself away from him and rubbed her thigh in order to wake it up. His arm wrapped around her waist and tried to bring her on him again. He looked asleep and her heart smiled timidly as she pushed his hand away gently.

He frowned and moaned in his sleep, then his arm became even firmer around her stomach. Eilin closed her eyes and sighed. "I need to go pee. I am fine." She whispered to his ear. She pressed his hand reassuringly and then unwrapped it from her stomach carefully and laid it on the ground. Then she stood up slowly as not to alert him anymore and tiptoed to the entrance.

With one last look at him she walked outside and instantly her eyes squinted at how bright the sun was. Everything seemed to be shinning from the rain that had fallen in the forest last night. Eilin inhaled deeply the fresh air and found the most isolated spot in order to relieve herself.

When she returned the need to drink some water was overwhelming.

She looked at the beautiful radiant waters of the small river and knelt to the shore. Then she cleaned her face and drank heartily until her thirst was clenched. When she finished she closed her eyes and remained there for several moments enjoying the gurgling water and the careless conversations of the soldiers. Maybe she could find Dwalin and ask him if he had any food available. She placed her hand down to balance herself in order to stand up and felt damp fabric under her fingers.

She looked down and frowned. There was a pile of very bloody clothes next to her. She lifted up the tunic and instantly recognized that it was her husband's. Her stomach twisted so quickly that she felt nauseous. She turned her attention at his trousers. Her eyes looked at his sigil that was embellished upon the knee and then at all the large bloody patches that were spread all over it. The metallic smell of blood made her stomach turn and she gagged. She closed her eyes and made a solemn effort to control the repeated waves of nausea that were rippling through her.

"I forgot to throw them away. I am sorry." Dwalin said quietly.

Eilin inhaled sharply and looked at him. "What is this? Thorin is not wounded….I didn't see a single scrape on him." She hissed.

Dwalin pursed his lips. "That's not his blood."

Eilin closed her eyes and stood up. She staggered and caught herself at the desk that Thorin had used yesterday to send off the messages with his ravens.

"You weren't supposed to see that." Dwalin looked at his boots.

"He changed clothes in order to come see me?" She said quietly.

"Of course." Dwalin pressed his lips.

"Because I would be shocked to see him like that, right?" A bitter smile formed in Eilin's mouth.

"Well he was not the personalization of charm yesterday. You are pregnant…it was better for you not to see him in this mess." Dwalin tried to explain his reasoning.

Eilin huffed. "Yesterday you told me you didn't think that I needed constant protection."

Dwalin pursed his lips, but remained silent.

"You are not any different from him. You are both still trying to protect me from the harsh truth, aren't you? You both fear that I am going to shatter if I see a spot of blood. You are so mistaken….so mistaken." She murmured in dismay.

"Eilin you don't understand how bad it was…that was not something a Dwarrowdam is supposed to witness." Dwalin frowned.

"Of course I cannot understand since none of you is telling me. Show me the truth and allow me to judge if I can handle it or not…there's a challenge for you. Will you take it on?" Eilin spat angrily.

"I will." Thorin's rich voice send goosebumps up to her nape.

She turned around sharply. "Will you indeed?"

Thorin walked out of the tent. He looked at his bloody clothes for several silent moments and then gazed at her steadily. "Yes."

Eilin raised her brow. "What happened all of a sudden? Are you not willing to protect your sensitive wife from the brutal truth?"

Thorin's face was expressionless. "She punished me so hard that I am still unable to get a grip. That's one lesson learned."

Eilin frowned with indecision about the way Thorin was addressing her this morning. She had been expecting a fresh surge of aggressiveness from him, not this quiet self-possession. She placed her hands on her waist. "Why are your clothes so bloody?"

"One cannot expect not to get dirty when he gets involved with such filth." Came the cold answer.

Eilin lowered her hands and her eyes lost their certainty.

Thorin turned to Dwalin. "Leave us please."

Dwalin nodded and walked away.

Eilin swallowed heavily. "Thorin what did you do to him?"

His jawline flexed. "Once upon a time I would have never answered such a question to you."

Eilin pressed her lips. "But now?"

"After what happened I want to keep nothing else hidden. You asked for the truth and you shall have it ….Now…will you be able to handle it? That remains to be seen. Maybe that will be your lesson learned." Thorin said quietly and walked to the horses.

Eilin followed him quickly. "Where are you going?"

Thorin reached the horses and untied his. " _We_ are going to show you the truth. Now pick a horse."

Eilin's brow clouded. "Why can’t we ride together?"

That gave pause to Thorin who leaned his arm on the saddle and looked back at her. It took him several moments to speak. "Because I don't know if you'd want to ride back with me after what you see and learn today." He returned flatly.

Eilin's stomach twitched painfully. "There is more to learn? I thought I knew everything already."

Thorin pursed his lips and mounted his horse. "Much more. Now are you coming?" He said coldly, but Eilin recognized the deep sadness that was hiding in his eyes.

Eilin mounted a horse and came over to him. "Are you are indeed ready to give me the truth even though you went through such lengths to protect me from it all these years?"

"You don't need protection anymore. You need the facts. Are you ready?" He rejoined emphatically.

Eilin sighed and inclined her head. "I am."

* * *

 

As they stood outside the ruins of Eilin's original abode, Thorin was certain that he didn't have any confidence at all for this encounter, despite how bravely he had taken on her challenge. After knowing Eilin for almost twelve years this was the first time that she was going to come face to face with whom Thorin truly was and witness the brutality he was capable of. Almost a decade ago Eilin met the injured…the broken King, she had fallen in love with the rising King, she had seen the lover in him, the devoted and caring husband, the loyal companion and the adoring father. The worst side of him that she had witnessed was when they split up for a sort while, after Karunn's murderous deception. However that side of him paled in front of his violent ability to wreak havoc in her name ….

In the past he would have never considered showing Eilin how vicious he can become. He talked to her about the battles he partook in, but never went to any details. He didn't want her to connect him with war and violence even though that was a deeply rooted part of who he truly was. Eilin knew that he combatted his way into the throne and also out of it. She had heard all the stories that were written or sang for him. She was aware who Oakenshield was and how vicious he could be in war, but that was not the same as witnessing his brutality with her own eyes.

Dwarrowdams never partook in battles, they never joined their husbands in any missions. They knew that their men were out slaying enemies, but they were not witnessing it. Dwarves were always very protective of their women and so was Thorin towards Eilin. However that need to keep her safe from all the violence he had experienced …only backfired and created more problems for them.

He had to uproot the fundamental ethics that his parents had instilled in him since childhood in order to escort Eilin out here today. Had his father been alive he would have spat at Thorin's face. "Are you mad? Why are you subjecting your One in this torture?! Get her away, shut her eyes, and lead her back home. Don't let her see this and suffer! You are supposed to protect her!"

 _That is what I was doing and look were that landed us…._ His mind rebuked dryly.

Even though every single thread of his reason was screaming for him to do what his kin had been doing for their women for thousands of years….Thorin knew that he didn't have that choice anymore. Eilin had been hurt by his lies, even though his intentions had always been the best. It was time for him to deliver what she was asking for…

 _There in no way back now_ ….

Eilin stood there mutely looking at the scene of destruction while Thorin's heart was thudding like mad. He needed to allow her to take everything in and address him in her own time. Then he had to find the courage to tell her the truth not only about what happened here, but also about what had taken place between him and Othin…

_Every single piece of the bloody truth….and that is going to hurt her more…_

"Thorin…." It was a call for him that he wasn't sure he wished to answer.

He steeled his heart. “Yes?"

Eilin turned to him and her eyes seemed devoid of any emotion. "I recognize the area…but not the building…." She muttered.

He pressed his lips and forced himself to hold her stare. "Yet you know it."

Eilin nodded slowly. "The Forsaken Inn."

Thorin exhaled and tightened his hands around the reigns. He remained silent.

"You burned it?" She turned to him.

He was truly unable to recognize the look she had in her beautiful eyes. "Yes."

Eilin's jawline flexed and she turned to the charred ruins. Another soft nod came from her as she dismounted. Wordlessly she walked towards Gareth's gutted remains that were now buzzing with swarms of flies.

Thorin closed his eyes and tried to find the courage it needed to face his wife at this challenging moment. He alighted and followed her. When she stopped, he stopped right next to her and crossed his hands calmly in front of him. He looked more like a young Dwarfling who was about to get a chastising, than the violent slayer who created this scene of annihilation with such enviable emotional detachment two days ago both here and at Bree.

She stood there motionless for so long that Thorin felt his skin crawling with nervousness. When her reaction finally surfaced, its unexpected intensity almost shattered him. She coughed and covered her mouth. Then she turned around and gagged. Before he had the time to help her out she proceeded to empty her stomach.

Thorin pulled her long hair away from her face. He opened his mouth to say he was sorry for this, but those words stuck on his throat. He was sorry, but he also wasn't. She wanted to see the truth, she wished not to be protected…she demanded it from him and there was some form of sick liberation at knowing that he had nothing else to hide from her anymore. "Are you alright?" He murmured after helping her clean her face.

She leaned against him for support. "Yes….it's the baby…"

Thorin shook his head. "Or what you just saw." He returned flatly.

Eilin forced herself to look at him. "Or maybe both." She added.

He closed his eyes and nodded.

She pursed her lips and straightened up. Then she made to go back to the cross, but Thorin's fingers wrapped around her bicep. "Haven't you seen enough?" His voice was thick with emotion.

"Let me go Thorin." She frowned.

He pulled his hand away with great difficulty and his nose flared. "Very well."

She walked up to the cross and her eyes turned once more to the half-eaten, rotting corpse of her rapist. She saw the gouged bulbs that used to host his eyes, crawling with white maggots. His half-parted lips that had flies coming in and out of it and at his destroyed face that barely resembled a human anymore. Then she looked at the accurate incisions Thorin made. They were torn open to reveal his internal organs that were pale as all the blood had drained into the ground under the cross. He heard another gag from her and reached out to help her.

 _Stop!!!…._ He commanded himself and he forced himself to stay still.

Eilin closed her eyes, inhaled deeply and counted silently for several moments. When she felt sure she wasn't going to puke anymore she spoke. "You did this to him?"

Thorin felt his throat closing down. Now came the moment of judgment for him. "Yes." He said quietly.

The look she gave him was enigmatic.

"You said you wanted the truth… I never wanted to subject you to this horror, but you gave me no choice." He tried to steady his voice when in reality he was quacking inside at the possibility of his wife becoming so disgusted that she'd want nothing to do with him anymore.

Eilin pressed her lips and swallowed heavily. "How about the employees of the Inn?" She croaked.

"No one else was harmed."

Eilin closed her eyes. "Good…"

Thorin looked away and crossed his arms.

"You said that there was something else I needed to learn." Eilin spoke after several moments.

He gave her a gentle nod. "Yes."

Eilin pursed her lips. "Tell me."

She seemed to be trying so hard to remain collected at that moment that Thorin's courage faltered. He felt his knees weakening and he took a step back. Suddenly her stunning green eyes that always showed so much love for him, seemed too cold. He felt sweat breaking on his forehead and rivulets of it running down his sides. At that moment he felt as solemnly judged by her as he had judged her abuser two nights ago. He closed his eyes and it took him a long time to gather enough courage to speak. "Remember the finger marks on your father's throat?"

Eilin's eyes thinned. "Of course I do."

Another long pause that made her focus on him even harder. A last deep breath and he forced himself to meet her eyes as bravely as he could. "I did that to him Eilin."

Her stare didn't waver a single inch from his….it seared right through him.

His throat constricted and he steadied his heart. "I almost throttled him to death the moment I learned who he was."

Eilin's eyes filled with tears, but her stare didn't relent.

Her silence tore through him. Now Eilin had all the ammunition she wanted in her hands to annihilate him. "I was not thinking clearly …"

"So the same butcher that I saw here today, came face to face with my father…" Eilin couldn't have sounded more dry.

Thorin lowered his head. "Yes. Forgive me."

"Now that you are afraid of my judgement you ask for forgiveness. Hadn't I known…would you have been sorry?" Eilin raised her brow.

Thorin clenched his jawline, but he remained silent. Was he truly sorry or was he lying to her just to earn her forgiveness? He knew that even if he fell at her feet right now his pleadings wouldn't have made any difference. Now she had seen the nasty side of Oakenshield and she had every right to hate him for it.

Eilin gaze had such a profound depth that Thorin was almost unable to take it. He turned around and walked back to the horses. He grabbed the reins and held them tightly as he prayed to be given another chance by the only woman he had loved so deeply. The fact they had three children and one on the way didn't give him any sense of security, because he had witnessed a hardness in her eyes that he had never seen before.

When she approached him, he still had his eyes closed. "You don't have to stay here with me."

"I am not leaving you alone after what happened." His comeback was stronger than he had intended.

"I can use one of your guards to escort me back. I am not taking chances anymore either. I don't deny that I need a bodyguard." She said coldly.

He swallowed heavily and placed his fist above his heart. "That is me. I am your bodyguard." His head bowed slightly in deep respect.

Eilin's coldness dithered slightly at those words. She opened her mouth to say something, but at the last moment she regretted it. She turned her attention one more time at the horrifying crucifixion. She remained there observing that for a long time without betraying any kind of emotions upon her beautiful features. Then she walked over the ruins of her old home.

Thorin stood behind with the horses, feeling his heart dying little by little as his wife sauntered with an expressionless face above the ashes of her past. He didn't know how Eilin had taken his ability for such devastating violence …or the final bit of excruciating truth he told her. Her face betrayed even less than her mouth did and each time she avoided facing him, the sense of impending doom became even more prominent. When she finally decided there was nothing more to see and returned to him, his heart twitched hard with the need to embrace her.

However he knew that she'd push him away, so he averted his eyes and mounted his horse. He held her reins tightly until she raised her hand and silently demanded them. He gave them to her with another courteous bow and waited for her to take the lead.

For the first time in his life Thorin Oakenshield felt obliged to give the lead to someone else and was more than eager to follow. The man who was used to all others bowing to his command was now ready to bow to Eilin’s command over him….

* * *

 

When they reached the camp Thorin stayed back to take care of the horses, biding his time before facing her again. What happened at the Inn and the heaviness of her silence had managed to close him up completely. Now instead of seeking her out and begging her to forgive him, he wanted to hide and pray that she wouldn't throw her wedding ring at his face. He delayed returning for as long as he could, but in the end the forgotten drawings that he hid on the inside of his belt forced him to do the inevitable.

She was there in front of river, leaning her hands upon Thorin's working desk with her eyes closed. He stopped a few feet away from her and hesitated.

"What is it?" She said coldly.

He pressed his lips.

"You are not as stealthy as you wish to appear….not to me." Her voice was empty.

Thorin placed her rolled up drawings on the desk. "I forgot to give you these. I found them at the Inn." He said softly.

Eilin frowned and her fingers wrapped around them as recognition instantly lit up her eyes. She looked up and tried to find his heavy regard. Her lips parted, but no words came out.

Thorin released her eyes and stared at the drawings. "Thought you might want them back."

She unrolled them and when she saw the first one a wave of grief escaped her. He reached out to touch her shoulder…to wrap his arm around her…to draw her in, but he stopped.

"Thorin?" Her voice was hushed.

He bowed deeply. "At your command."

Eilin's face was tearstained. "Thank you."

Thorin felt the hardness on his face melting away along with his heart. "For what?" He whispered.

Her eyelids fluttered. "For salvaging this precious part of my past before setting fire to the rest of it."

Thorin stumbled for words and averted his eyes. He closed his mouth so hard that his teeth rattled. “It was my obligation.”

She remained silent for several moments. "I need to get some rest." She pointed vaguely at the tent.

Thorin's shoulders slouched. "Do that, but know that we break camp today. We are starting for the Misty Mountains."

"I will be ready." She said after a momentary pause.

Thorin pressed his lips and looked towards the river feeling cold inside out. Eilin was the last person he wanted to hurt and he ended up hurting her more than anyone else.

….and he felt forlorn.

* * *

 

"How do you feel?" It was Dwalin's voice that stopped him as he was bringing down the tent meticulously slow, so as to put his thoughts in order. Eilin sat on a boulder next to the shore ever since he started dismantling their temporary shelter, gazing at her drawings. She didn't honor him with any looks, nor with a single word. The more she ignored him, the more neglected he felt and then the more withdrawn he became. So when his best friend spoke it was as if someone poked him with a burning stick.

"Do I look like I want to share my feelings?!" He grumbled.

Dwalin raised his hands. "Easy…"

Thorin pursed his lips and turned his attention to his work once more. "Leave me alone Dwalin."

"You've been silent ever since you and Eilin returned from the Inn. I worry." Dwalin looked at him intently.

Thorin humphed.

"So how do you feel?" Dwalin came close and began helping him.

"How should I feel when the woman I adore thinks I am the most despicable monster that has ever walked Middle Earth?" Thorin said in a hushed tone that was not bereft of a tone of bitterness.

Dwalin looked at the huddled figure of the Queen. "She told you so?"

"She doesn't need to tell me so. She saw what I did to her rapist and the Inn….and if that wasn't enough….I…" Thorin let the side of the tent to slip from his grip and closed his eyes in defeat.

"What?" Dwalin scowled.

"I told her what I did to Othin that accursed day." Thorin's voice was barely heard.

Dwalin cupped his forehead. "You told her that you almost choked him to death?"

Thorin tilted his head.

"You bloody fool!" Dwalin hissed.

Thorin's eyes flew open. "Keep your voice down." He gave a cautious look at Eilin's back.

"She will most certainly bring you down for this! She was on the edge with you already. What went through your head? Why did you do such a stupid thing? I mean the girl went through hell and she is also pregnant. Have you no mercy?" Dwalin whispered and gave a brief look to check if Eilin had noticed them.

Thorin sighed and rubbed his forehead. "It was the protective thread that I always feel for her which brought us to this standstill Dwalin! All those lies that hurt her so much were because of that. However had I not spoken the truth about what happened with Othin…that lie would have been to save my hide and I won't do that to her. She deserves better. She deserves to make all her decisions based on the truth, however painful. She needs to learn how much I failed and then judge if she still wants me next to her. That is proper."

Dwalin drew back. "You have given her the world."

Thorin exhalation was defeated. "And I also almost destroyed it for her because I think I am infallible…that I can control everything and everyone….which is wrong. I need to allow her to take control of her life and make her decisions based on the facts." –Thorin paused for a moment- "I was always afraid that one day she'd learn all those nasty truths about me and she'd leave forever. Egotistically I hid them from her, hoping that she'd love everything else on me, which she did. I also hoped that would be enough…which wasn't."

Dwalin lowered his eyes.

Thorin continued. "I cannot do that anymore….I love her too much. She run away from me exactly because of all those lies. I am mad at her for doing that, but more mad at me for making her. I must put my own insecurities aside and show her everything despite how terrified I am of the outcome. Don't think for a moment that I am not in pain from this. I know how much she suffered and how much I hurt her. I know she is carrying my child, but I cannot undo my mistakes now Dwalin. I can only admit them and pray that she forgives me. In the meantime I will do the best for her under the current circumstances…which is to take her back to Erebor. She need to see her father."

Dwalin covered his face. "Oh heaven…"

"It was all those lies that brought us to this place Dwalin. Lies that I said in order to shield her from pain…still though not only they were not appreciated, but they were shunned. I learned my lesson…even if may have cost me my marriage. If this thing doesn't break us apart…then nothing will." Thorin's voice was broken.

Dwalin exhaled hard. "That's impossible. Eilin adores you. She cannot live without you."

"She loved the sides of me that she has experienced all these years. She had never seen the monster in me before….that part of me she is going to hate. It was the one thing that I never wanted to reveal to her and look at me now." Thorin huffed with a despondent look.

Dwalin's lips turned down as he found himself bereft of words.

"Just prepare to depart." Thorin rejoined and the fatigue was clear both in his voice and in his body posture.

Dwalin nodded. "Okay…"

"I want us on the road by midday the most. Tell the men to work faster. We need to cover as much distance as possible. Fix Eilin's carriage and make sure it is suitable for her to sleep in. I don't want us to stop during the night. We ride for as long as our horses can carry us." Thorin said.

"Very well. We head North or South?"

"I am not risking the North. We go south…" Came the taciturn answer.

With one last look at both his best friend and at Eilin, Dwalin left as dejected as ever.

* * *

 

Durin felt utterly ridiculous with what he was about to do, but fortified his heart. Lis turned and looked at him from afar, but then quickly showed him her back dismissively. Durin pressed his lips and brought his foot too close to the edge of the pier knowing the inevitable was going to happen and cried to the top of his lungs "HELP!" as he fell into the lake.

The Dwarfling who had the formidable soul of Durin the Deathless residing in his heart and swam better than many adults of his kin splashed around the lake pretending to be drowning. Lis looked back and her mouth dropped open. The hesitation was momentary as she dashed towards her young master. Before she had the time to reach him a Hobbit dove and grabbed Durin by the waist.

"Hold on my Prince, I got you!" He cried.

Durin elbowed him so hard the Hobbit groaned in pain and drew back in confusion. "Not you…I don't want you to save me!" Durin grumbled.

The famer scowled and shook his head. "Bloody Dwarfish shenanigans….I wet myself for you…you know."

"I will dry your clothes! Just leave! Go…away!" -Durin hissed and when he saw Lis approaching he began splashing again- "HELP!"

The famer swam away with many looks of disapproval and he had barely gotten out of the lake when Lis' dive wet him from head to foot again. He brought his hands down and walked away pissed off, with a dozen sheep following him, cursing the bloody Longbeards for ever coming to the Shire in the first place.

Lis grabbed Durin by the waist and held him above the water. "Are you alright Sir? Oh heavens!"

Durin gave her a searching side-glance and then began coughing like crazy.

Lis gritted her teeth and swam with him to the shore. "Hold on Sir…come on we are almost there."

Durin didn't make any effort to help her and left his hands hanging lifelessly by his sides, until she clasped them and placed them on the shore herself.

"Take hold of that Sir and pull yourself out!" She shouted.

Durin did as he was told, but didn't use any strength. He allowed her to do all the work for him. When he was finally out he laid on his back panting even though he never lost a single breath. He coughed, covered his mouth and turned on the side pretending to gag as Lis crawled behind him and started hitting his back.

"Come on spit it all out…." She yelled.

Durin heard the fear in her voice and a smile crawled up to his lips, which he throttled. He nodded and did as he was told until it was safe enough for him to pretend that he felt better.

Lis grabbed his hand tightly. "I need to go and notify your aunt and Lord Balin!" She sounded terrified.

He reached out and held her hand too. He pulled it upon his chest and shook his head. "No…I am fine…stay here."

A cloud of doubt passed from Lis' clear brow. "You almost drowned Sir!"

"Can you call me Durin?" He panted and placed his forearm above his eyes.

Lis' eyes darted around with uncertainty. "You are the mighty Durin the Deathless…you are my future King…I cannot call you by first name Sir!"

"You just saved my sorry hide…now can you call me by my name?!" Durin pulled his arm away and looked at her angrily.

Lis sat back and cleared the wet blonde strands away from her expressive eyes. She shook her head. "Out of respect Sir…I cannot…your father…"

"My father is not here and you shouldn't deny a dying wish to a poor Dwarfling…." Durin pretended to lay down exhausted once more.

Lis scowled. "You are anything but a poor Dwarfling, and you are not even close to dying Sir…"

One of Durin's azure eyes glared from under his forearm.

Lis cringed. "I mean …you are not dying Durin. You are fine…just a bit shocked."

He leaned back. "That's better."

Lis rubbed her palms on her leather trousers feeling very embarrassed. "I mean how in the name of Mahal did that happen Sir?"

Another formidable glare from Durin.

Lis closed her eyes and cupped her forehead. "Durin…I mean what happened Durin? You are one of the most skilled swimmers of your age. How is it even possible that you almost drowned in the swallow part of the lake?"

Durin sat up and rubbed his forehead trying to look exhausted. "I slipped. It goes to show that even if someone is proficient in some skill, accidents happen. It was the will of Mahal that you were there to save me." He gave her a quick side-glance.

Lis cleared her throat and wrapped her arms around her knees. "There were many people around to save you."

"Yet it was you who did….you whose job is to protect me. My bodyguard." He said emphatically.

Lis paled and stood up. "I told you the other day that I don't wish to be your bodyguard anymore."

Durin stood up also with too much energy for someone who almost drowned. "I know and I wouldn't have denied that wish for you, hadn't it been for today. You just proved how much I need you."

Lis looked at him above her shoulder with a frown. "Durin the Deathless needs no one. Especially a silly girl who made his mom so sad."

Durin's lips turned down and he followed her closely. "I wasn't nice to you when I learned what you did with my mom, but that was because I was afraid that she was going to fight with my father, which indeed happened."

"I told you that what I did was in order to help her, not hurt her. You maybe angry at me, but I am also angry at you." Lis rebuked and the waves of vexation were clear in her voice.

Durin looked at his boots and crossed his arms. "Then we are even, right?"

Her gaze was formidable.

“Look I am sorry for what I said to you.” He stumbled.

Lis stopped abruptly and looked at him bewildered. "Did you just say you are sorry?"

Durin pursed his lips and thrust his chin up proudly. "Yeah I did." He said courageously.

A fleeting frown passed from her well-formed brows and an uncertain smile followed. "Oh, okay…I suppose"

Durin took a deep breath and swallowed heavily. Then he instantly felt embarrassed and tried to figure out if he gulped way too loudly and she heard it. "Okay…I suppose so too." He rejoined.

Lis paused and crossed her arms. "I mean did you really apologize?"

Durin rolled his eyes. "Are you one of these girls?"

Lis pulled back. "What girls?"

"That make a boy apologize a million times before they give him another chance? Ásvór from the astronomy class is like that. I don’t like her at all." Durin pursed his lips.

Lis raised her brows. "Not when I hear an honest apology and yours sounded honest…I think."

Durin smiled. "You think?"

Lis covered her mouth in order to hide a small smile of her own. "I don't know. Can you say it one more time so I can make sure?"

Durin's glare was forbidding.

Lis flared her shoulders and looked away. "Or not. You don't have to. Look I really need to go." She pointed towards the village.

Durin grabbed her arm and turned her around. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips. "Listen Lis…I am really sorry for the way I treated you in front of everyone. I was stupid. Can you please reconsider remaining my bodyguard and my friend?"

Lis felt her eyes welling and looked away quickly. "Your friend? Am I your friend?"

Durin frowned surprised. "Of course…you have always been my friend."

"A better one than Lady Celebriel? The beauty of Rivendell?" Lis sounded bitter.

Durin looked confused. "You are both my friends."

"Well…she was a better friend to you in your adventures at Dol Guldur and the Elven Realm." She scoffed.

Durin inclined his head and felt more confused than ever. There was something there that he was supposed to figure out, but the youth of his age and the innocence of his mind was unable to grasp it. The sixteen years of difference he had with this girl were now rather obvious in this misunderstanding. However he knew how to make his friends feel better and that is what he tried to do. "Friends are friends. Some are better for certain adventures, some for other. Some friends make you smile and laugh like mad and others make you feel safe and cozy. It doesn’t matter. No one is better than the other, just different."

"Which things do I make you feel?" Lis gazed at him straight in the eyes.

"Safe and cozy…" He shrugged.

That softened Lis' face. She pulled back and looked at the ground. Then her fingers tacked a long tendril behind her ear. "Alright…I guess…" She stammered.

Durin nodded. "You saved me from drowning. I need you around me."

"Just to help you out like today?" A shade of dissapointment flared in Lis' eyes.

"Yeah."

Lis' face filled with dissapointment.

Durin clasped her hand tightly. "And also to have fun with." He pulled her.

She jerked and followed him. "Where are we going?"

"Uncle Bilbo said they are making fresh ice-milk in the village. I'll buy you some." Durin smiled.

"Ice-milk?" Lis' fingers entwined with his and instantly her heart came alight.

"They take fresh cow milk and mix it with squished banana and honey. It is very tasty. Haven't you tried it?" Durin looked at her.

"No…" Lis' voice was barely heard.

He stopped and his other hand came up to point at her face. "Why are your cheeks so red? Are you in pain anywhere?"

Lis' face flushed up even more and she averted her eyes. "No, it's the heat and the effort of getting you out of the lake."

Durin nodded. "Okay then, come on. We are going to have some ice-milk and go up to the Hill to eat it. It has an amazing view of Bree."

"Can we see the stars too?" Lis rejoined happily.

"It's still mid-afternoon."

"Can't we wait till night falls?" Lis shrugged.

Durin's lips curled up. "Sure, we can do anything you like."

Lis' face bloomed. "Thanks Durin."

He looked back at her and smirked. "So are you still my bodyguard?"

"I'll think about it." Lis smiled.

Durin rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"But I like being your friend…" She hurried.

"Come on silly, I will race you to the village! Whoever gets there first takes the biggest ice-milk!" Durin's smile was radiant as he dashed down the road, but was considerate enough to let her take the lead.

At that moment the mighty solemn spirit of the Deathless was put to sleep and the young Durin felt carefree and happy that he had made up with this girl. No matter how roughly he used to treat her, he always saw her as one of his best friends and he didn't want to lose that. He was ready to do everything needed to get her back….even pretend to drown despite the fact that he could dive from the highest hill to the roughest river waters without breaking sweat.

That's what friendship truly was….right?

 


	48. Durin's Song

 

* * *

By midday, true to his word, Thorin had dismantled the camp and led everyone towards the safest route to the South. He kept every soldier that joined them from Bree as he didn't want to risk Eilin's life in this perilous journey back. He also held on to most of his crows and send only three back to remain with his sister for communication purposes alone. He took the vanguard and usually rode far ahead of the rest of the group, while his crows were split into four groups, scouring all the points of the horizon for danger.

They rode fast for most of the day not allowing their horses to rest and only when the sun began setting did Thorin order their advance to go at a slower pace. When the soldiers inquired if they were to set up camp for the night, Thorin commanded them to ride non-stop until the animals couldn't take it anymore.

Eilin lifted her head and looked him under her black hood when he said that. "What is he doing? Aren't we resting for the night?" She asked.

"Apparently not. Can you handle?" Dwalin pursed his lips.

"Of course." Eilin gritted her teeth and followed the march with enviable endurance for her pregnant and rather bruised state.

She didn't make a single complain about the pain that was throbbing from her ribs or the splitting headache that was enhanced by the red slash upon her forehead. Neither did she want to draw her husband's attention with pitiful feminine tricks by demanding a repose because of her pregnancy. She rode in the midst of all those battle-hardened warriors without a peep of protest.

Even though she wanted to approach Thorin at the same time she knew not to trust her mouth if she did that. After learning what he had done to her father she was very raw with him. Her emotions were all jumbled up and clashing against each other. On one hand she yearned to get an embrace form him and allow his presence to pacify her. On the other she was certain that she would spurt accusations and she didn't wish to push him away more than she had already done. He was already avoiding her like a fire avoids water. So she was left in an aching limbo not knowing how to work around her frustration.

It was only when the night had covered the forest in thick darkness that Eilin found herself unable to keep silent anymore. He was riding a few horses ahead of her at the lead of the pack. Silent as ever with a stiff body posture that commanded everyone to stay away. Something that had worked very well during the whole day of marching, even to his best friend. However Eilin was unable to stand still anymore. She gritted her teeth and kicked the flanks of her horse. She bypassed several soldiers who bowed deeply for her and lined up to his horse.

He gave her a fleeting side-glance mutely for several moments and then he gazed ahead again. "Are you alright?"

His rich voice send a shiver up her back and her hands tightened around the reins. "Why aren't we stopping for the night?" She whispered and tried to stop her voice from breaking as the pain under her ribs was extending down to her waist now. Also her inner thighs were screaming in agony. She was not used to riding for so long and her inexperience to long treks upon a horse was starting to have a tow on her.

"I don't want us to draw unwanted attention. I prefer to find shelter at the foot of the Misty Mountains." He rejoined coldly.

"You are afraid of Orcs?" Eilin frowned.

"Orcs, Trolls, wild animals …you name it. We are open targets out here and I have less than half of the original battalion. Had I the time to plan this better we wouldn't be trekking with tired animals and so few men through the wild." Thorin retorted.

"Had you been riding alone back to Erebor without me, would you have been so paranoid?" Eilin was staring intently at his face.

His eyes thinned on her. "Are you seriously asking me such a question after everything that happened to you?"

Eilin exhaled and closed her eyes. "Thorin my whole body is aching. I don't think I can follow the intensity of your march to be honest. I have been a good girl all day long and not once did I think of playing the pregnant card with you…"

"But you just did." Thorin pressed his lips.

"No, I didn't. I am just asking if there is a possibility that we could rest for a bit. If we cannot, I will grit my teeth and follow…I am more than able." Eilin tried to sound composed.

Thorin shook his head. "Clearly you are not."

She opened her mouth to rebuke, but he raised his hand and stopped her.

"You see the black tent which is set up in that carriage?"

Eilin frowned and nodded. "Yes."

"That's for you. Ride back there, get in and have a rest. It will not offer you the best sleep, but it is better than nothing. Here." -He said and took a large pouch of water from his saddle- "To wash your face and hands. Dwalin has some baked hare from yesterday stored for you along with some boiled eggs. We also have a good stash of bread from the Shire. Wash yourself, eat and sleep….."

Eilin took the pouch and swallowed heavily. "What about the rest of the men?"

"They are trained to endure my commands…they ride until I say so." Thorin rejoined aloofly.

Eilin pressed her lips and her fingers tightened around the pouch. "How about you?"

Thorin gave her a look she couldn't grasp. "What about me?"

Eilin felt her stomach dropping. "Don't you want to wash, eat and rest?"

Thorin scoffed and looked away. "No."

Eilin felt her jawline flexing and she closed her eyes. "Where are you going to sleep? I hardly see any space for both of us in that carriage."

Thorin raised his brow at her. "I am not going to sleep."

Eilin opened her mouth to answer, but found that she had nothing to say.

Thorin inclined his head. "Do you want any help you with the tent?"

Eilin shook her head and felt her heart thudding and her chest welling with bitterness. "No, I can manage." She returned flatly and got ready to ride away.

Thorin closed his eyes and sighed deeply. "Wait…"

Her gaze was ferocious when it fell on him. "What?"

"I really want to check your wounds before you fall asleep. You've been traveling all day." He tried.

Eilin humphed and began arranging the reins, feeling picked. "I assure you they are fine."

Thorin gazed at her hard. "Listen what you went through was no joke. You are bruised all over. I don't even know if you have a fractured rib or not."

She raised her brow. "Does that sound like the first sign of care after treating me so coldly all day long?"

Thorin's eyes thinned.

"After what you told me about my father I should be the one infinitely mad at you, not the other way round." She hurled at him.

His fists clenched. "You think I am not angry at you? You literally plunged me into the Sea of Núrnen and kept me under to within an inch of my life before allowing me to come up for air with what you did. We are pretty even don't you think?"

Eilin felt her breath catching.

"I am not going to do this today Eilin. I am not going to argue with you." Thorin added.

"And I am not here to coddle you. We have many unsolved issues that are still eating me up." Eilin rebuked hard.

"I don't want you to pamper me, just to allow me to check your wounds." Thorin made another attempt.

"Well, forget it. Not with the attitude that you are having toward me." She turned her back to him.

He covered his face and exhaled roughly. "Fine…"

"Fine…" She retaliated.

Thorin felt his heart aching. "I will send over Dwalin to check you."

Eilin turned around with teary eyes. "There is no need."

Thorin's jawline flexed. "No matter how bad we are right now, I don't want to see you in pain. Is that understood?" His voice found some of its assertiveness upon those words.

Eilin felt her throat closing.

"We don't play with your health. Do you understand me Eilin?" He insisted.

She nodded hurriedly. "Yes, fine. I will take care of my wounds alone and if I need any help I will tell you. Satisfied?"

Thorin pursed his lips. "More or less."

"Goodnight." She said and turned her horse around.

"Goodnight." He called behind her.

She didn't say another word.

With a final look at her Thorin set his horse on a fast gallop and took the vanguard once more, trekking far in front of the others and scouring the area for danger with the help of his crows, tirelessly.

* * *

 

**Four days later**

That was how long Eilin managed to last with Thorin's silence overburdening her.

That noon she was riding again at the middle of the march surrounded by his soldiers, but her eyes were solely on him. He looked rather rough, as everyone else did, including Dwalin.

She still felt raw and too emotionally vulnerable after her assault to deal with his aloofness. As for how cruel he could become in reality, she was still trying to come to terms with that. This was a part of him that she had never experienced before. She knew of his fame as a formidable warrior who was particularly violent, but seeing that part of him coming against her father had been heartbreaking. Just when she thought that dragging Othin through the dirt was the pinnacle of Thorin's brutality, he came and assured her that she had seen nothing. What she witnessed at the Inn was still making her stomach turn.

On top of all that she also felt rather picked by the cold way he was treating her. Thorin seemed more than unwilling to become approachable to her. Whenever their eyes met she knew he would be distant and withdrawn. He acted as if nothing happened. As if nothing they never argued. As if she hadn't witnessed anything in front of the Inn. It was as if he didn't confess to acting like a brute to her father. He didn't try to open any conversations with her at all even though their horses rode next to each other at times. He didn't try to apologize or try to tease her and make her smile like he always did when he messed up. It felt as if he was enfolded in an ice glacier, distant to everyone…including her.

She was the one who was supposed to be pissed off with him not the opposite. She should have been the sulky one, the one who demanded an apology and to be coddled until she could forgive him. However right now his behavior was contrary to all expectations and she didn't know how to handle him. Was he mad at her for acting irresponsibly and endangering her life or was there something more? Was he mad at her for learning the lengths he went through to avenge her? Was he pissed off that he was forced to reveal to her what he did to her father? Was he angry that she didn't speak to him about it after his confession? What was going on with him for heaven's sake and why was he acting like she didn't exist at all?

After all that retrospection Eilin decided that there was little she could do, but follow the troops silently seething. As time rolled by and the sun begun setting, Eilin curled in on herself and followed the non-stop trek through the roughness of the forest without any wish to approach him. This intransigent progress was done in a strict disciplinary manner that she wasn't used at and made her gain insight in another part of Thorin's life that she had never witnessed before….

….the military one and she didn't know how well equipped she was to deal with the whole of him because he had become the last few days, truly overpowering.

* * *

 

It was way after the sun had set that finally Thorin raised his arm and indicated a place to camp, to the relief of many. Eilin, despite her fatigue was the first one to strike a fire and get dinner going. She used part of that day's hunt and soon the appetizing smells of a rabbit stew was making the stomachs of many men rumble. Dwalin was one of them.

"My nose is ready to explode…" He sat down heavily on a rock and looked at her.

She gave the stew a stir. "I am really not in the mood Dwalin."

"Not even to accept an innocent compliment about your amazing cooking skills?" Dwalin smiled.

Eilin shook her head dismissively. "Not even that."

"Look at them…" Dwalin humphed.

Eilin's eyes darted around the camp.

"They are all waiting eagerly to try some of your stew, even though they are aware the portions are limited and your efforts are aimed solely for their King." Dwalin rejoined.

"What? Is he suddenly in the mood to eat?" Eilin couldn't help but sound dry. Her eyes turned to the isolated spot close to the top of an overlook, where Thorin was sitting on a boulder alone.

Dwalin crossed his hands. "Why don't you go ask him?"

Eilin took a bowl and filled it up. Then she set it aside. "If he wanted food from me, he would have come get it. He is not interested."

"About the food or your state?" Dwalin asked carefully.

"What state is that?" She straightened and flared her shoulders proudly.

"You've been seething more and more with each passing day. You think I haven't noticed the thunderous looks you've been giving him?"

Eilin raised her hand and called over the soldiers that were looking at her eagerly. Then she poured another bowl, which she gave to Dwalin. "Very well then, I am rather pissed off? Why do you think that is?"

Dwalin took a spoonful and closed his eyes in delight. "Because you've been punched, kicked and almost raped again?"

Eilin served a plate and offered it to the first soldier of many that had formed a long line in front of her cauldron. "Try again."

Dwalin frowned.

She pursed her lips feeling more than annoyed. "Don't act so innocent Dwalin because you are making me angry too."

He raised his brow.

"Where you with Thorin when he made that unprovoked attack towards my father?" Eilin asked dryly.

Dwalin's pressed his lips. "Okay you got my attention."

"Didn't your buddy tell you that I know everything?" Eilin sounded vexed.

"My best friend and King tells me everything." Dwalin's voice had a tone of caution in it.

Eilin served another guard. "His unspeakable cruelty to my father, which I also witnessed at his vicious reprisal towards my rapist is very hard for me to grasp. It feels almost impossible for me to accept that this form of macabre brutality is part of the loving man I married."

"I see."

"I never thought that Thorin had such violence hidden in him." She stared intently at Dwalin.

"Surely though you must have imagined it Eilin. You didn't marry a farmer, but a warrior-King. Come on don't hide behind excuses, just because you want to pin him down." Dwalin tilted his head.

Eilin gave out another plate angrily. "That is not what I am doing. I am just trying to understand how he can be able to erase all his moral codes in order to act like a beast."

"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you. (*)" Dwalin said emphatically.

Eilin frowned and felt her stomach dropping.

"You were able to stab one of the men who attacked you. Did you feel remorse for doing it?" Dwalin raised his brows.

She shook her head.

"Did you hesitate to act cruelly on him, when he was acting so cruelly towards you?" Dwalin continued.

"No."

"Did your moral codes got in the way?"

Eilin pressed her lips. "No."

"Did you feel pleasure when you killed him…did you feel relief when you knew he was unable to hurt you anymore?" Dwalin leaned forth.

Eilin closed her eyes and nodded softly. "Immense relief…" –Then she hesitated- "And …the thrill the moment he died…it was there."

Dwalin humphed. "Indeed it was. You didn't act differently from your husband even though admittedly Thorin's vindictiveness can be overwhelming at times. By understanding how you felt when you killed your attacker, you can get some insight on what it felt like for Thorin to seek vengeance from your rapist."

Eilin felt her heart twitching painfully at the sincerity of those words and a sudden clarity spread inside her. "Yes…" She murmured.

"In life sometimes people have to embrace their inner monsters in order to gain enough courage or strength to defeat their foes, get to the next level, or grit through something they'd rather not do." Dwalin leaned forth and looked at her.

Eilin returned his gaze. "And that is a good enough excuse to become so cruel then? Me, him, you…all of us?"

"Yes, it does. In any war, in any challenging situation where horrible things are happening, it can be impossible not to use the exact same tactics of those who oppose you. They say that all's fair in love and war. Even if we pay with our soul for acting like monsters, we'll still get the satisfaction of our retribution. Maybe Thorin's victory at the end of the day can been seen as pyrrhic by some holier-than-though academic who sits and ponders about the world without having to dirty their hands. However your husband accomplished what he set out to do. He avenged you. Don't you think we know –as warriors- that such actions can drag us through the soil of morality, dirtying us in the process? Don't you think we have embraced those consequences already? We may have learned how to sleep at night after turning into monsters in order to defeat the other monsters, but believe me Eilin…our victories are taking a heavy toll on us in the long run." Dwalin continued.

"I think I understand what you are saying." Eilin's gaze was fearless when it met Dwalin.

"Understanding is one thing, accepting what you heard is another." Dwalin pursed his lips.

"Can I accept it?" She frowned.

"Maybe you can, when you realize that what Thorin did was in order to protect you. What you witnessed at the Inn was the result of the fury that consumed his soul when you went missing. The whole world was his enemy and he intended to break it apart in order to find you. He would have stopped at nothing, believe me. He wreaked havoc in your name exactly because he loves you so much. Thorin is a passionate man. He is usually very composed in everything concerning his rulership, but that doesn't include you and the kids. Anyone who touches you dies a very painful death. You witnessed it first hand and can you really blame him?" -Dwalin scowled- "I would have done the same."

Eilin felt her shoulders deflating. "I am not blaming him about what he did to that beast Dwalin. You are right. I am also capable of violence as you said, but when that brutality turns against my father that is a whole different issue."

The bodyguard raised his brow. "But is it indeed? You think Thorin didn't see Othin as a threat to you when he lashed out like that?"

Eilin served another guard and then began scraping the bottom of the cauldron. "My father a threat? What are you saying? That Othin was not out to hurt me?" She sneered in disbelief.

"How did Thorin know that?" Dwalin raised his hands.

Eilin face turned solemn and her eyes fell on him demanding.

That gave courage to Dwalin who continued. "How did he know your father wouldn't hurt you? Othin came out of nowhere carrying a rather demeaning history of being a deserter and a traitor to Thorin's family. Then he also carried a claim to your lineage, even though he wasn't truly willing at first to reveal it. If it wasn't for Balin, your father may have sneaked out the back door again unnoticed."

Eilin cringed painfully. "Don't say that please."

Dwalin pursed his lips. "I am sorry."

She nodded silently.

Dwalin continued more carefully. "Thorin had witnessed firsthand how much all those impostors were hurting you. It was a major point of conflict between you and him for almost a whole year. He knew you suffered through it and so did he alongside of you. At Thranduil's Realm Thorin had barely awoken from oblivion when he learned who Othin truly was. He didn't trust the man, he barely knew him. He was hiding in the woods, tailing you and the children. That made Thorin mad. Add to it that your father betrayed the Royal family in the past and you have a recipe for destruction. The result was him lashing out rather violently when they came face to face."

"Didn't he take into consideration that Othin saved Durin?" Eilin's eyes were full of pain.

"The stakes are high when you are carrying behind you the biggest treasure trove of Middle Earth darling. Thorin's violence had an unusual strategy behind it, which is not rare for him. One that I know well." Dwalin raised his brow.

Eilin frowned in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Your husband wanted to smoke out a possible snake…." He shrugged.

"I am not following." Eilin closed her eyes.

"By scaring your father, he wanted to make sure that Othin was there to stay. If your father was able to withstand the ferocity of the King and sustain his inevitable cruelty in order to be with you, then maybe…he was worth the effort." Dwalin continued.

Eilin felt her stomach dropping.

"He has used this method in the past more than once, in order to affirm the blind loyalty of someone. I must admit though that with your father he overdid it….possibly because he is too emotionally invested in you." Dwalin tilted his head.

Eilin's throat tightened.

"When Thorin attacked your father, he accused him of abandoning you to a fate worse than death…to a life that branded you with unbearable nightmares after your rape. He accused him of hurting you, because he abandoned you and he wasn't there to protect you. He threatened Othin's life, but at the end of the day he also offered him the opportunity to come to Erebor and right his wrongs. Everything that happened was because Thorin cherishes you. Find it in your heart to forgive him, please…" Dwalin leaned forward in this plea and his eyes watered.

Eilin looked away and felt her chest welling. "I need to hear my father's side of the story."

"Do that, but don't push your husband away till you do. The man adores you. He told me verbatim that the despair he felt upon Siv's death, paled in comparison to the desolation he felt when you went missing." Dwalin continued quietly.

Eilin wiped a tear from her cheek.

"I am only asking you to be a little more understanding." Dwalin added.

"He is pushing me away with his attitude Dwalin. Have you seen how coldly he has been treating me ever since we started trekking? I am the one who is supposed to be distressed here, not him." Eilin's eyes looked heartbroken.

"Why not him?" Came the taciturn question.

Eilin frowned confused. "Because…because…" She was at a loss for words.

"You think he is not distressed from what happened? You think he is not traumatized by the sheer shock of being unable to track you down?" Dwalin inclined his head.

Eilin remained silent.

"Each person deals with trauma in a different way. You become defensive, you lash out, you want explanations, but he withdraws from everything and everyone. That is how he dealt with your separation ten years ago. He locked himself up for a month with endless bottles of ale. Here he cannot do that, for he needs to lead the march and command hundreds of tough men. He needs to have his wits about him, but the signs are there. You think that he avoids you because he doesn't want to talk to you? He does it because he is deeply hurt and he doesn't know how to deal with his emotions. Men are not the same as women darling. We deal with pain differently." Dwalin smiled.

Eilin turned around and wiped her jawline. A sniffle escaped her. "I did the same at the Shire. I isolated myself."

"Then you are more alike than you think. Try both to be more understanding of each other. Don't let so much love go to waste." Dwalin smiled sadly.

Eilin scoffed. "Did you give him that advice or just me?" Her voice was broken though. She was visibly shaken.

"I am starting with you." Dwalin rejoined.

"Why?" She looked him dead in the eyes.

"Because you are the more reasonable of the two." He added with a small laugh.

Eilin sniffled and dried her cheeks with the back of her hand. "Fair deal."

That is when his deep voice made them both look up. "I am sorry to interrupt."

Eilin instantly checked herself when she saw him standing there imposing as ever and tried to smooth down her hair.

Dwalin frowned. "What nonsense are you talking about? Interrupt…ha…You should try some of your wife's stew. It is delicious." He concentrated on his food again.

"I am not hungry." Thorin rejoined flatly.

Eilin's heart plunged.

Then he walked up to her and gave her a note. "This just came in. It's from the kids."

Eilin grasped it possessively and opened it up. Her eyes began reading hungrily. "Are they okay?"

"They are well, they just needed to see if mom is well too." His eyes had an undefinable depth.

"Thank you." Her voice was barely heard.

Thorin closed his eyes and inclined his head. "No problem." He said and without another word he walked away.

Eilin sat down heavily and read the message of her children several times over, trying to stop herself from sobbing too loud. One hand was holding the note and the other was caressing her belly, while she consumed hungrily every single word of love her babies had sent over. Then she took her time to reply to them and when she finished she stayed musing towards the horizon for a long time, thinking about Dwalin's words.

When she finally decided to stand up again, she didn't walk back to the fire to sit with Dwalin, nor to her tent. She walked to the nearest group of soldiers who all stood up and bowed to her in respect.

"My lady!" The leader said.

She smiled. "I need a favor from you."

"At your command!"

* * *

 

Thorin stared at the fire broodingly. Then his gaze turned to the darkness of the woodland area that extended under his feet. His sharp knife chipped a piece from the wood that he was carving and scraped the ball of his finger. He stopped and scowled down at the small new wound which stood parallel to a bigger one that was still purple and vivid. Dol Guldur's morbid present.

Thorin cringed and looked back at the fire. He had lost count of the nights he had remained awake during this march. After Eilin's abduction, he was unable to close his eyes. He wanted to keep an eye on her all the time even though his exhaustion was starting to become visible. A bottle of ale would have truly helped to keep him going. Just the thought of tasting alcohol made him break sweat and he felt lucky that he had none available out here in the wilderness. Any kind of liquor would muddle his ability to think clearly and he couldn't afford that. At least not until they reached safety. He humphed and began carving again allowing the ritualistic act of holding the knife in a particular angle and pushing it with a specific force upon the wood to draw him away from any dark thoughts.

It was only a few moments later that he heard from the fire pits below him the deep voices of several men joining in a song that always spoke deeply in his heart.

 _"A king he was on carven throne_  
_In many-pillared halls of stone_  
_With golden roof and silver floor_  
_And runes of power upon the door._

 _The light of sun and star and moon_  
_In shining lamps of crystal hewn_  
_Undimmed by cloud or shade of night_  
_They shone for ever fair and bright._

 _The world is grey, the mountains old_  
_The forge's fire is ashen-cold_  
_No harp is wrung, no hammer falls:_  
_The darkness dwells in Durin's halls"_

He remained bemusing at the piece of wood comfortably numb, until Eilin's voice made him inhale deeply.

"How come you are not singing it along with them?" she said quietly.

Suddenly the need to appear preoccupied was dire. "I am not in the mood…"

"When they began, I honestly expected you to join in." She continued.

He shook his head. "Not today."

"That was the song that resurrected you from the dead after the Battle of the Five Armies. Remember?" She placed the bowl of her stew next to his boot and sat opposite from him.

"How can I forget? That was so many years and so many tears ago." His lips turned down.

"And also so many beautiful moments ago Thorin." She clasped her hands in front of her knees and looked at the dark horizon.

His knife stopped and he swallowed heavily. "That is true."

"We cannot erase everything good we have ever shared, just because our marriage is going through a rough patch, right?" Eilin rejoined quietly.

His brow clouded. "Right."

Eilin scrounged her lips. "I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable with that song."

"You didn't." He replied.

"I thought it would brighten your mood. I know how much you like it." Eilin closed her eyes and sighed deeply.

"You told them to do it?" Thorin's brows twitched with uncertainty.

Eilin nodded, but remained silent.

"This song has gained a deeper meaning for me after the birth of our son." Thorin added quietly.

Their eyes met for a few burning moments, before she looked away with a faded smile. "I keep forgetting that inside that wild little boy who pisses everyone off with his tomfooleries, hides the soul of this mighty King of old."

The coldness of Thorin's features broke slightly. "Durin needs a lot of taming that is true."

"Now you sound like your father." She noticed.

Thorin's lips turned down. "I don't like that."

"Thrain thought you needed taming too. He managed to extinguish the fire in your heart, right?" She raised her brow.

His gaze was penetrating.

"Or didn't he?" Her eyes focused on his.

He didn't reply.

"I wonder what kind of woman will be strong enough to undertake the formidable task of taming Durin emotionally." Eilin gave him a searching side-glance.

Thorin exhaled and a brief smile formed upon his lips before vanishing quickly. "Whoever she will be, the prerequisite is that she must be highly-spirited, much like yourself or else she will never have a chance with him."

Eilin looked at him searchingly. "Did you just give me a compliment?"

Thorin's azure eyes looked at the horizon. "When have I ever stopped doing that?"

"During our arguments?" Eilin shrugged.

"Even then I admire your fiery spirit." Thorin looked at her steadily.

Eilin felt her chest warming up. She hesitated and looked at her hands. "Thank you."

"Did you answer to kids?" Thorin looked at his carving and began working again.

"Yes and the answer was from both of us. Rhianaye said that she was doing so well with riding. I told her daddy would get her a new horse when she returned to Erebor. I hope you don't mind."

Thorin's mouth formed a ghostly smile. "Good."

Eilin's smile melted into a serious expression. "Thorin…I wanted to thank you."

He remained silent.

She gathered all her courage and met his eyes. "Thank you for being there for me when the world fell apart."

He lowered his eyes. "Thank you for staying alive for me."

She took a few moments to collect herself. "I know you are rough with me right now …but I would really like to talk with you."

He gazed at her solemnly. "Aren't we talking already?"

"Not this kind of talk…." Her face fell.

"Oh, you want to stir the pot. That's risky…for both of us." He looked back to his carving and began working on it again.

"You withdrew from me completely these past few days. I don't like that. Maybe the stale waters need to be stirred a bit, right?" Her tone was dejected.

He remained silent.

"Why are you trying to avoid me?" Eilin tried to find his eyes.

He stopped and looked at her. After a few silent moments he tilted his head. "I am not trying to avoid you, just to do my job. I am focusing on taking you back to Erebor safely Eilin. Nothing more."

Eilin swallowed heavily. "I am not sure that taking control of this march is what makes you draw away from me and I'd prefer to hear the truth."

"Like always." His smile was bitter.

She inclined her head. "Yes."

He pressed his lips and it took him several moments to form the words in his mouth. "I just don't know what to tell you in order to make things right again. Not after what you saw and what you learned."

Eilin's face hardened. "How about telling me exactly what happened that day with my father? I want to know."

"You meant the day I wrapped my fingers around his neck?" His tone was dry.

Eilin shuddered and gave him a soft nod. "You could express yourself more carefully."

He gritted his teeth silently.

"I just want to know your side of the story. You told me the truth and I appreciate it, even though I heavily dislike it. Now tell me exactly what took place." Eilin rejoined quietly.

Thorin collected himself and gazed at the distance for several moments. "My version of the story won't help you accept with my violent tendencies, nor will it make your father and mother better parents."

Eilin felt the knife twisting in her heart and the pain echoed into her soul "That was pitilessly honest. However I only asked for your side of the story, nothing more."

He looked at her long and hard before averting his eyes. "I am sorry."

"Will you stop being snarky and speak to me honestly about what happened?" She tried to sound soft even though his coldness was pissing her off.

It took him several moments to speak with a grainy voice. "I attacked your father in a moment of decapitating weakness, both physical and mental. I was not thinking clearly …I lashed out to the man whom I had deemed guilty of abandoning you in that nightmarish life. Now I could stop there and ask for your forgiveness, but that would be another lie."

"Why?" She frowned.

"Because when I finally got back my composure I continued to mistreat him with full knowledge of what I was doing." He rejoined flatly.

"Why for Mahal's sake?" She whispered.

"You are hauling behind you the biggest treasure of Middle Earth and I won't risk your mental stability just because your father might have taken a liking on your gold." Thorin raised his brow.

"I heard that one before and it doesn't sound less hard coming from you." She murmured defeated.

"You see this emotionally, but I cannot afford to do that. My job is to protect you and if that means that I will put the man who birthed you through the fires of Mount Doom to make sure that he means every word he says, then so be it. Just because all this happened between us, don't expect me to fall at his feet and ask his forgiveness Eilin. When we go back to Erebor I will continue keeping a very close eye on him and I will not stop testing him until I am satisfied that he is there to deliver." He added sternly.

Eilin closed her eyes and her hands became tight fists.

"You expected me to more remorseful?" Thorin stared at her intently.

"A little bit…." She was honest.

Thorin gritted his teeth. "Eilin I am sorry for almost choking him, but I am not sorry for my harshness afterwards. That first reaction was a mistake and I regret it, everything else was thoroughly calculated and asking forgiveness will be nothing more than hypocrisy."

She nodded. "I see."

"The end sometimes justifies the means and sometimes hard measures must be taken. Othin has not convinced me yet of his loyalty and my main priority is you."

"What if I ask you to be softer then…." Eilin looked at him firmly.

"He has to prove himself to me. He was a traitor to my family and to you …."

"My mother left him and took me with her. He didn't know where she went, Thorin. He was trying to find me all this time." Eilin's face filled with tears.

"Did he? He found you in the end, but he remained lurking in Mirkwood." He rebuked.

"But he did come to us, don't you remember?" Eilin leaned over.

Thorin's eyes filled with confusion. "No."

"He came to ask you for help one day. I remember him clearly. He wanted to apply for a job in Erebor and I was there when he was kneeling in front of your throne. He was the man who dashed out the moment I tried to approach him. Surely you must remember the incident."

Thorin scowled. "I may recall something."

She reached out and grasped his hand tightly. "He made an attempt to come to me, but it must have been too hard for him."

"He was not brave enough then. He should have tried harder." Thorin's voice was harsh.

Eilin closed her eyes and lowered her head. Her heart ached. "I know you are not as cruel as you want to appear. Right now you sound as if you haven't regretted anything…"

"I regretted my original reaction, but not what I did after that. I am a father Eilin and I know the lengths I can go to in order to have my children next to me. What he did was barely enough." He rejoined coldly.

"Don't judge others by your standards…that's unfair." Her eyes softened.

His fingers tightened around hers and he swallowed heavily. "When it comes to you and our children I am not employing half-measures. Is that so difficult to understand? If that means I will act harshly towards someone I barely know, then I will do so." Thorin rejoined.

"That part of you comes in complete contrast to the tender husband I have gotten to know all these years."

"Yet it is still me. A part of me that wishes to protect you against the whole world if need be." Thorin's face lines broke.

Eilin pressed her lips. "What about the lies you told me?"

"They were a necessary evil in order to shield you until I could make sure that Othin was there to stay. Eilin he was lurking in Mirkwood. We don't even know if he ever intended of making an official appearance. You said it yourself…he came to ask for a job and then run away again. Hadn't it been for what happened with Durin, he might have fled. As I told you before I lied to you to protect you, like I did to our children. Sometimes lies are necessary to help the ones you love." The hardness of Thorin's voice backed away slightly.

Eilin pressed her lips. "We cannot know what he intended to do. All this is supposition."

"A supposition is also to believe that he came back to become the father you always wanted. Even after you talk to him we cannot be certain of his intentions. Othin needs to be tested and I won't stop until I am satisfied. I am sorry." His tone didn't take no for an answer.

"I cannot do that Thorin…" Eilin looked at him heart-broken.

"I am not asking you to do it. I will do it for you…"

"Even if I don't allow it?" Eilin pressed on.

"Even then. Eilin your interactions with your father don't have to go hand in hand with mine. We are not obliged to be associated in this. I can remain the bad guy, while you work on your relationship with your father the way you see fit."

She felt her throat closing. "You are so hard…"

"Maybe, but it is for your protection. I am sorry." His voice was hushed, but there was an undertone of steel there.

The nod that came from her was almost imperceptible. "Very well."

Thorin observed her discreetly for several moments before speaking again and this time his voice was uncertain. "Now it's your turn to be truthful. If I apologize at this moment to you and say how regretful I was for not checking my reactions more closely when I first met your father, will you be able to forgive me or is the bitterness still too sour and the pain too raw?"

Her brow clouded. "It's too soon…just thinking about it, makes me so angry."

Thorin closed his eyes in defeat. "I know."

"The fact that I am still angry at you though won't stop me from sitting here next to you. Do you understand what I am saying?" She turned to him.

Their eyes engaged acutely for several breathless moments.

"I don't want you to withdraw from me." She added with a hushed tone.

"And I don't want you to pull away from me …" He whispered and his eyes watered when he remembered the way she pulled out of his arms the other night.

"Just be patient with me…." She frowned and her eyes met the horizon.

He closed his eyes with a soft nod. "I will be patient until you read me my final judgment."

Eilin felt her stomach clenching. "No, don't….don't make it sound as if you are in a trial of some sort."

He shook his head. "Am I not perchance?"

Eilin looked at him long and hard, but she didn't answer.

After those words they both remained silent. It was the terrifying screech of a fox that made Eilin jerk upright. "Damn…" She murmured.

"It's just a vixen searching for a mate." Thorin rejoined quietly.

"I know…" -She whispered quietly and then looked at the wood he was carving- "What are you making?"

"A frog for Thrárin." The first honest smile dawned upon his features, but it was fleeting.

"Oh, he is going to love it." The lines upon Eilin's face softened a little.

"I hope so." Came the quiet reply.

Eilin gazed at the plate that remained untouched next to his boot "This is for you, you know."

"I am not hungry." He looked away quickly.

"We've been on the road for so many days. I haven't seen you sleeping, nor eating. You cannot go on like this." Eilin frowned.

He scoffed. "You have no idea how long I can sustain like that. Been doing military campaigns since I was a Dwarfling, a couple of decades older than Durin."

"Thorin you need to eat at some point." She pushed the plate towards him.

"How about you then? Did you eat anything? You are the pregnant and the wounded one." He retorted and pushed it back towards her.

Eilin pressed her lips and shook her head.

"Of course you didn't. Is there any more left?" Thorin frowned.

"No, I served as many guards as I could." She explained.

His eyes burned through her demandingly.

"And I am not hungry either." She exhaled.

"Eat this one. You are feeding both yourself and our baby." He nudged her knee with his.

"No, I kept this for you." She rejoined stubbornly and nudged him back.

"How about a deal? If you eat two thirds of this plate, I will finish the rest." He offered.

She pursed her lips. "So I should force myself to do it?"

"I will force myself to do the same." His brow arched.

Eilin gazed at him firmly for several moments, trying to pin him down with her ferocious stare, but his azure eyes won over easily. Her shoulders slouched and she leaned back against the boulder that he was sitting. Then she picked up the plate and took the first spoonful. "Fine."

Thorin's eyes thinned at the horizon. "Fine." He retorted, much softer than originally planned.

Eilin stopped at exactly two thirds of the plate, even though after the first bites her appetite truly picked up. Then she placed the plate on his knees without asking for permission and took the pouch of water he had on his belt. She settled down again, feeling rather soothed by the food, the cold water, but above all their conversation. They may have not solved much, but at least they talked and that was more than enough. When she drank heartily she leaned her head back, feeling the rock cutting into her head. She crossed her legs and closed her eyes. "I needed that…you were right."

"I am always right." He returned as he began eating the reminders of the food.

"No you are not." She exhaled irritated.

"Have you cleaned your wounds?" He said with his mouth full.

"Yes." She drawled.

"Did you put Oin's potion on them?" He continued.

"Yes." She rolled her eyes.

"So what the hell are you still doing here?" He said and placed the empty plate down.

"What do you mean?" She frowned, but didn't open her eyes.

"You should be in your tent right now, cuddling with your quilt, getting ready to sleep." He chastised.

"I will go there in a moment. Just let me stay here for a while…" She whispered already feeling the long limbs of sleep wrapping around her.

"A pregnant woman shouldn't be sleeping against the hardness of these rocks. You are bruised all over. Let me help you back to the tent." He made to get up.

She drew him down, forcing him to sit next to her. Then she relocated from the rock and propped her head on his lap. She settled down again and closed her eyes feeling deeply satisfied with the new arrangement. "You are right this is better."

"Eilin I am not joking. Get up." He tried to sound assertive.

"Me neither. I am staying here." She rebuked.

Thorin pursed his lips, fuming. However his wife didn't speak to him again, neither did she make an attempt to move from his lap. So he stayed there carving the piece of wood patiently for a long time waiting for her to make the decision to go back to the tent.

When he heard her breathing becoming steady and her head too heavy on him, he looked at her in disbelief. Then he abandoned the carving and his fingers lingered for several moments above her head, before finally tunneling through her thick mane. He leaned his head back against the hard rock and as his fingers caressed her long hair gently, his eyelids started becoming heavy. He never intended to fall asleep that night as it was his job to look after her, nevertheless the warmth of the fire, the satiation he felt from the few bites of food and the feeling of her heavy head on his lap was enough to make him doze off soon after.

The vixens kept screeching for a mate, but their calls never bothered the royal couple -who exhausted as they were emotionally and physically- slept together till late morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (*) - Friedrich Nietzsche


	49. The Mirror of Galadriel II

 

* * *

**A week later**

Durin flinched when he saw how clumsily Thrárin dove from the pier. When his younger brother splashed back first in the waters he swam up to him quickly and grabbed him by the waist. "Are you okay Shorty?"

Thrárin was thrashing about. "My back stings! Ow!"

Durin took him in his arms and came out. "Hold on."

"Hey why are you leaving now?!" A young girl with brown curls and hazel eyes shouted at him.

"Go on without me. I need to look after my little brother." Durin said and caressed Thrárin's back who couldn't stop crying.

A murmur of dissapointment came from the large group of children that were in the lake, but Durin didn't give them any notice. He placed Thrárin down and then turned him around in order to check his back.

"Is it bad? Will I die?" Thrárin sniffled and covered his eyes.

Durin snorted. "Don't be silly. No one ever died from taking a clumsy dive."

"People get hurt when they dive from Erebor's mouth!" Thrárin scowled.

"The huge waterfall next to the gates is a killer Shorty. This pier isn't." -Durin said and caressed his back a couple of times before patting his head- "You'll be fine, it's nothing."

"Has your back ever stung like this after taking a dive?" Thrárin's teary eyes looked at him eagerly.

"Sure. I've landed on my back, my legs, my stomach…you name it. If you fall the wrong way the water can really sting." Durin settled down at the grass and stretched his long legs in front of him.

"I thought I was doing well." Thrárin pouted.

"You are doing well, but it takes practice to make perfect." Durin smiled.

"So you think I can do perfect dives too?" Thrárin gazed at him impatiently.

Durin's hand ruffled through his brother's red curls. "Yes Shorty, given the time. Now are you ready to try again?"

Thrárin wrapped his arms around his knees. "No!"

Durin raised his brows. "Afraid?"

Thrárin nibbled his bottom lip and nodded. His eyes filled with tears again.

Durin remained silent.

Thrárin felt the need to clarify. "It hurt!"

Durin snorted. "That's not reason enough. If dad was here he'd tell you to go for it."

"No!" Thrárin puckered his lips and crossed his arms.

Durin raised his finger. "You need to try again now that the dissapointment is fresh. You need to conquer your fear now that's early on, before it settles."

"I don't want to goooooo." Thrárin wailed.

Durin sighed and pursed his lips. "I will get you more ice-milk."

Thrárin's crying seized and he gazed at his brother cunningly. "Blueberry?"

Durin tilted his head. "Yes."

"You won't tell auntie?" Thrárin's eyes glimmered.

Durin smiled. "No…."

"This will be my third ice-milk today." Thrárin whispered in a sneaky manner.

"We won't tell anyone." Durin leaned over to him.

"And all I have to do is dive again?" Thrárin gazed at the lake with trepidation.

Durin shrugged. "Yes."

Thrárin wrapped his arms around his legs again and began rocking back and forth.

Durin leaned back on his elbows and looked at the sky. "Think about it….a big cup of frozen milk with crushed blueberries …just for you and Rhianaye is not here to take it from you."

"Will you?" Thrárin nibbled his bottom lip.

"No…" Durin grinned.

That is when Thrór decided to stop chasing the birds, run to Thrárin and nudged him with his muzzle. He yowled and his long tongue came out to lick the little Prince's arm. "Should I try again Thrór?" -Thrárin asked him seriously. The wolf yelped and began wagging his tail- "I think he told me yes." Thrárin looked at his big brother seriously.

"I think so too." Durin raised his brow.

Thrárin stood up and flared his shoulders. "Right I am doing it!" He exclaimed.

Durin drew up. "Go…"

With one last look at his brother, Thrárin run to the pier, jump in the air, made a summersault and fell in with his knees. When he came up all the children were cheering him on.

Durin laid down satisfied and closed his eyes. What alerted him a few moments later was the voice of Lis.

"You know I just cannot stop thinking how an expert diver such as yourself –who teaches Thrárin so effectively- could drown in so little water." She had her arms crossed and the sun was hiding behind her frame.

Durin rubbed his forehead and yawned. "Oh, come on…are still struggling with this?"

"Are you going to tell me the truth or are you going to try and fool me like you do with all your friends?" Lis raised her brow.

"I don't fool my friends." Durin stood up with a scowl.

Lis poked his chest with her finger. "You know I hate liars don't you?"

Durin humphed. "Yeah, you and mom….you got that in common for sure."

Lis' face became hard. "You lied to me the other day." –She pushed him with her finger and he took a step back- "You pretended to drown so I could jump in and save you." –She forced him to take another step back - "You did that so you could save face to your father, didn't you?" –She pushed him again and a tree bark stopped his retreat- "You didn't want King Thorin to learn that I quit from being your bodyguard so you found this stupid way to make me forgive you."

Durin paled.

Lis' face contorted in anger. "I knew it…Lady Rhianaye was saying the truth."

Durin's mouth dropped open. "She was the one who betrayed me?!"

Lis pulled back furiously. "Damn you…!"

Durin shook his head. "No, you don't understand…"

Lis pressed her lips and her face flushed. "And I thought you were worth a second chance. You are nothing more than liar and I want nothing to do with you!" She spat.

"No! Wait Lis!" He yelled.

She turned around and run away from him.

Durin looked at her dashing down the hill and the need to throttle his sister was barely overcoming his need to run after Lis. Even though his mind was telling him that he was not supposed to run after anyone, less so behind a girl who was supposed to be serving him…his heart had its own ideas. He fought hard against the need to follow her. He tried to call the old spirit of the Deathless in order to act like a future King should, but he was unable to do so.

His teeth gritted, his hands grabbed the bark and tried to keep him there. She was not important was she? She didn't matter so much anyhow. She was just his bodyguard. He tried to convince himself that Lis was not important enough to make him go after her, but it was impossible to fight against what his young heart was telling him to do.

With a grunt of defeat he hastened after her and his strong legs managed to overtake her close to the Millhouse. He grabbed her upper arm and turned her around. "Will you wait for the love of Mahal?!"

Lis turned at him furiously. "You used me the other day, just so your father wouldn't get angry at you."

Durin closed his eyes. "Yes…yes I did…."

A moan rattled Lis' chest and her eyes betrayed how deeply hurt she was.

He raised his hand. "And I also did not…"

Confusion made Lis' brow crease. "You are supposed to be our future King. You can't be this manipulative. Have you no heart? I mean you took me to the village square. You bought me ice-milk…"

Durin straightened and placed his hand on his waist. He was still out of breath. "You are quite a runner aren't you?"

Lis waved him off. "Can you concentrate!? You just admitted to using me so King Thorin wouldn't yell at you!"

Durin nodded. "I did, I am sorry Lis. I didn't want to worry my dad. He is escorting mom back to Erebor and he has a lot on his mind. The last thing he wants is to learn that I made you quit your job with my stupidity. He loves you so much."

Lis was taken aback. "Your stupidity?"

Durin tilted his head. "Yeah…my stupidity." He admitted in defeat.

"A-are you admitting to a mistake?" Lis stammered feeling taken aback.

Durin shrugged. "No only one, but many. Okay I lied to you the other day. I pretended to be drowning because I needed to find a quick way to bring you back, before the damn crows delivered the news to my father."

"The crows?" Lis looked up at the trees.

"They are not here just to deliver messages back and forth. They are giving dad a detailed report of our time here. Surely you must have known." Durin frowned.

Lis shook her head. "No…honest."

Durin hesitated. "Well, that's the truth. They saw you slapping me…." -Lis expression became defensive, but he didn't allow her to speak- "Which I deserved." He added quickly.

"You did?" Her mouth dropped open.

"I was an asshole to you, wasn't I?" Durin shrugged.

Lis looked baffled to say the least.

"Well, I was. Nevertheless the crows saw what you did that night. I only tried to forestall them before they reported to my dad what happened between us." Durin sat on the grass heavily.

Lis stood silent above him.

"You were so pissed off with me that simply talking to you wouldn't have worked, right?" He looked up at her.

Lis sat down and crossed her legs. "Probably not."

"I pretended to drown so I could find a quick way to talk to you. I can't believe Rhianaye told you." He scowled and looked at his hands.

"She was only trying to help." Lis said quickly.

Durin sighed and flicked his brows. "Nah, you don't know her. She was paying me back for what I did to her with those honey cakes."

Lis' mouth formed a smile.

He began fidgeting with the hem of his pant leg. "I acted stupidly Lis, I am sorry." His voice was hushed.

Lis felt her young heart fluttering. "Oh…" She blushed.

"I shouldn't have yelled at you so much. I meant what I said the other day." He was looking at the ground when he was apologizing.s

Lis began plucking the grass uneasily. "It's okay."

"And I am sorry for playing the drowning game with you. Truth is that I wanted to make up with you one way or the other." He looked at her fleetingly and then turned away again feeling deeply embarrassed, which was an emotion this Dwarfling was not used at.

Lis nibbled her thumb thoughtfully. "You should have been honest. You are old enough to know how bad a lie hurts."

"I know." Durin's lip pouted.

Lis looked at him intently for several moments. "I mean at the end of the day you just want to be friends with me, right?"

Durin gave her a quick side-glance. "Yes."

"Don't do that again…okay?" Lis said quietly.

"I won't. I promise." He looked up.

Lis smiled.

He extended his hand and offered his pinky. "Friends?"

She twisted her pinky around his. "Friends."

He pulled his hand away quickly. "And you will remain my bodyguard?"

"You afraid King Thorin is going to thrash you if I don't?" Lis smile knowingly.

Durin shrugged. "Yeah, kind off…but I also want you to."

The smile melted away from Lis' lips. "You know I won't humor your mischiefs, don't you?"

Durin scoffed. "I know."

"I am not going to play blind eyes when you are making a mess of things. I am going to stop you." Lis warned.

"You can try…" He raised his brow provocatively at her.

Lis pressed her lips. "I am not joking. I will be your bodyguard and your friend, but I can never be what Celebriel was to you…a partner in crime." Her voice had a tone of bitterness. She quickly averted her eyes from him.

Durin frowned. "You are nothing like Celebriel."

"I know." Her countenance plunged into darkness.

He stood up and offered her his hand. "She would have never had the audacity to slap me across the face." He said flatly.

Lis looked at him bewildered.

He smiled and grasped her hand tightly. "Come on, get up."

Lis did so. "Where are we going?"

"To swim." Durin pulled her behind him.

Lis felt her young heart surging with unexpected happiness. "Together?"

"Of course…" Durin gave her a quick look above his shoulder.

"Are you doing this so the crows will see and tell your dad?" Lis rejoined.

"No, I am doing this because I want to play with you." Durin returned nonchalantly.

"You do?" Lis felt confused, but also so happy.

"Yes! Now come on!" He pulled her closed and she didn't resist.

She followed him eagerly at the lake and the only thing that mattered to her was that he wanted her company.

He wanted her company and she wasn't like Celebriel, was she?

No, she was the exact opposite…and strangely this was the first time that she felt okay with that.

* * *

 

Eilin opened her eyes and inhaled sharply. She remembered falling asleep in her tent the previous night alone as Thorin was adamant to continue trekking. They were just exiting the Misty Mountains and their journey through them had been quick and rather rough, allowing her and him very little time to talk or even be together. He rarely slept, almost never ate and he was always on guard during the hard passage between the sharp cliffs. It was very difficult for them to use their horses, so in that part of their journey everybody was on foot, Eilin included.

This was the first night she had been able to sleep in the tent as the terrain was easier on the animals and they were all able to mount once again. When she fell asleep last night everything was quiet, but this morning she was awoken by the abrupt jerking of the carriage, which tilted dangerously to one side and almost emptied her to the ground before settling down again. She grabbed the quilt and inhaled sharply as she listened to the war cries and the clashing of weapons outside.

 _We are under attack…_ Her mind yelled.

Something heavy bumped into the carriage which rocked hard. "The Queen protect the Queen!" Someone roared. A hoard of inhuman cries was accompanied by the terrifying growls of Wargs.

Eilin shuddered and her hand came down to protect her belly. The sound of warfare outside was truly overwhelming and it had taken her by surprise, but Eilin was quick to regain composure. She was facing two choices. Either stay inside a dangerously rocking carriage and possibly get buried under it at some point or get a weapon and get out there.

Thorin was out there fighting for her and his men were doing the same. She understood that all these soldiers were trained to protect her…that her husband was a three hundred year old warrior who had ample of experience and no shortage of ruthlessness. She knew that it was wiser for her to stay hidden and wait for them to clear up the danger, but the heavy rocking of the carriage and the dire need to see if Thorin was alright made her act….well….unwisely.

She stood up abruptly, pushed the tent up and came face to face with the brutal reality of a heated battle. Swords and war hammers were clashing against each other and everybody was fighting body on body. She jumped off the carriage, just when a rogue Orcish head flew past her and landed inside it.

She grunted and tried to find a weapon when a guard's formidable punch sent an Orc flying up to her. Eilin twisted her body quickly in order to avoid the beast and that is when she located a stray Orcish bow. She squeezed between two soldiers who were grappling with their enemies and knelt down. "Come on…come on…" She hissed as she tried to disentangle the bow and arrow sheath from the hands of the half-dying Orc.

Eilin gritted her teeth, pulled an arrow from the sheath and buried it in the Orc's head with a grunt of disgust. Then she quickly retrieved the bow and all the arrows, including the one that was in its forehead. "You bloodsuckers…you woke me up….I needed that damned sleep after all that trekking in this rocky hellhole…" She spat and began shooting enemies left and right. She stepped above dead bodies, avoided swinging swords and falling war hammers, but always her shot was bullseye. All that training she had been doing these ten years was paying off.

She got deeply entangled in the heat of the battle until she perceived Thorin tackling several enemies at once. He was too engrossed in combat to notice that an Orc was swinging a curvy blade above his head. Eilin's body came in attention and her hands tightened around the bow. She straightened, aimed and fired. The arrow travelled in the air, missed Thorin's ear by an inch and got buried between the eyes of the Orc that was about to strike him down.

Thorin's eyes filled with confusion when he realized that his wife just saved his life, but moreover that she was out here in the midst of hell, standing proud and unafraid. He gripped Orcist tightly and began cutting down enemies like weed until there wasn't a single one left standing.

He lowered his weapon and walked up to her. Then he raised his finger. "What-the-hell-are-you-doing-out-of-the-tent?"

Eilin dropped the Orcish bow when she saw that his sleeve was torn and there was a large gash on his bicep. She came up on tiptoe and pulled the fabric away in order to see the extension of his wound. "I was asleep, but this mess woke me up."

"This wasn't a mess...This was a bloody combat and you were right in the midst of it!" He barked.

"Stay still, you are bleeding." She frowned and tore a piece from her tunic in order to tie it around his arm.

That is when Dwalin appeared, totally undisturbed. He walked up to them with his axe resting on his wide shoulder. "You got wounded and I didn't. Now pay up." He raised his brow.

Thorin removed a pouch from his belt. "Enjoy before I take it back next chance we get." He threw it to Dwalin.

Eilin raised her brow. "Are you guys betting on who will get bloody during a battle?" She sounded incredulous.

"Always." Dwalin said.

She frowned at her husband. "I can't believe you."

"What are you doing out here?" Dwalin turned to Eilin.

"Didn't you see her when she came out of the tent?" Thorin barked.

"No I was busy decapitating Orcs. Did you?" Dwalin raised his brow.

Thorin humphed and looked away. "How many were there?"

"No more than fifty with ten riders. It was not an organized attack." Dwalin rejoined calmly.

"We just happened to be on their way?" Eilin asked.

"More or less. They were probably rogue soldiers possibly scouring Rohan and the wilderness south of Lothlorien. It is rather unusual for them to attack in the middle of the day. I will admit that." Thorin looked at the road thoughtfully.

"We can resume the march immediately even though we have some wounded that need to be cared and the animals need to rest." Dwalin said.

"Anyone who is still alright, carries a wounded one. Prepare to depart." -Thorin said and Dwalin bowed. Then the King turned to Eilin- "As for you, go back to that tent and don't come out again until I tell you. What was going on through your head?"

She straightened the tourniquet on his wounded arm. "Well, thank you Eilin for killing that Orc before he buried his blade in my head." -She said emphatically with a deep voice. Then she touched her chest and assumed a theatrical manner- "You are welcome my King. I didn't want our kids to learn their brave father died so stupidly."

Thorin grabbed her by the arm and dragged her back to the tent. "You are in the mood and I am not."

"Hey, hey gently!" She stumbled behind him.

He pushed her in. "You are pregnant!"

Eilin sat cross legged and cringed at the decapitated Orcish head. "Does pregnancy eliminate my archery skills?" She tried to kick it out.

Thorin's face contorted in anger, he grabbed it by the hair and threw it out. "I have played enough games with you. You never learn. You keep endangering your life for nothing."

"On the contrary I believe that I handled it pretty well." She raised her brow.

"That's it. We are heading to Lorien. I need to find a quiet spot for us to camp and take care of the wounded. I don't trust these woods after what happened." Thorin rubbed his forehead.

Eilin's face filled with shadows. "We are visiting the Lady of Light?"

"Yes, hoping that she will offer us her hospitality. Now I don't want to see your face again until we reach the Elven Realm. Is that understood?" Thorin said angrily.

Eilin swallowed heavily and grasped his arm. "No, Thorin wait…"

"What?" He frowned.

"We can't go there…" Her voice had lost that slightly teasing element it had gained after the battle.

That gave him pause. "You don't want to go to Lorien? That is truly unexpected. You always loved that place."

Eilin closed her eyes and felt her chest welling. "Listen…She sees things…she speaks in our minds…she understand more than anyone else."

Thorin nodded. "I know."

"I cannot do that now…I cannot allow her to get into my mind and dig up everything that is in there." Eilin's voice was a mere whisper and when she opened her eyes they were full of shadows.

Thorin tilted his head. "You want us to risk camping in the wilderness after this attack, so you can avoid Galadriel looking in your mind?" He sounded unconvinced.

"You don't understand…." She didn't know how to explain to him that she had so many emotions bottled up that she was afraid of them surfacing. Their relationship was very fragile as it was, it didn't need any more problems.

His face hardened. "No I don't. I have risked enough with you as it is. A fortnight ago we fought so severely that you run away from me. Then you got abducted and almost killed…and today you rushed to partake in a battle even though you should have been laying low. I cannot do this anymore Eilin. I cannot try to protect you, when all you do is trip me up."

"Today, I saved your life. I didn't act like a damsel in distress." She rebuked.

"You are missing the point." He returned.

"No, you are missing it!" -She thundered. He drew back surprised - "I don't want Galadriel in my mind at this moment Thorin. I am not well…." Eilin felt her eyes burning at that admittance.

"Well we will have to toughen through it. That's the only safe place for us to rest. I have several wounded men, a bunch of half dead horses and still more than a week of riding ahead. We need to take a break and I will not risk camping in the middle of nowhere now that we are so weakened. Is that understood?" He retorted assertively.

Eilin felt her heart plunging. "Yes."

The broken look on her face made him dither. "You have given me enough jump scares…please let us all mend under the safety of the Elves." His voice was softer.

Eilin closed her eyes. "Alright." She said even though she knew that nothing was truly alright.

"Just stay in the tent until we reach the Realm." He raised his brow.

Eilin gave him a weak nod. "Okay."

* * *

 

It was close to afternoon that Thorin finally came across one of the Elfish squads protecting the lands around the Realm. "Haldir please. We are in desperate need of the hospitality of your Lady."

Haldir raised his brow haughtily. "Last time we met, you wanted nothing to do with us."

Thorin threw his hands down in abandonment. "And of course you remember."

"Always."

Thorin looked back at his battalion, which looked rather maimed and his eyes lingered long upon the silent tent. "Look, we got ambushed by a rogue group of Orcs that came from the South. We need to camp somewhere safe for the night and I cannot risk to do that out in the open."

Haldir didn't speak.

"For the love of Mahal, can we drop the façade please? My wife is pregnant and she needs a safe place to rest. Just ask the Lady and see what she says." Thorin's voice held a tone of plead that was not lost at the hard Marchwarden.

"Never thought I'd see the mighty Oakenshield imploring the Elves of anything." He drawled.

Dwalin flared his shoulders and cleared his throat.

Thorin gave his friend a quick look and then turned to Haldir. "We may dislike each other, but I have the deepest respect for Lady Galadriel and you know that. I need her help. Will you really turn us away when I am telling you that we have a pregnant woman in our midst?"

Haldir pursed his lips. "Your wife always seems to be pregnant when you are visiting my Lady of Light."

"He turned out to be rather fertile and powerless to keep his hands to himself." Dwalin intervened with a playful smile.

Thorin looked at him in disbelief and threw his hands in the air. "Really? That is how you pitch in?"

Dwalin shrugged.

That broke the rigidity of Haldir's expression and several Elves laughed lightly. "We have seen several group of rogue Orcs coming up from the South. There seem to be some upheaval behind the Ash Mountains."

"I noticed." -Thorin inclined his head, feeling rather impatient- "Can you ask Lady Galadriel if she can offer us her hospitality….please?"

Haldir's eyes pierced him for several moments before he turned his horse around. "Wait here."

Thorin placed his hands on his waist and looked down at Dwalin. "Say a prayer, master slayer." He whispered.

Dwalin crossed his arms and his eyes followed Haldir as he rode into the forest.

* * *

 

The night had fallen when Thorin found himself facing Lady Galadriel alone. He crossed his hands in front of him and bowed his head. "You have my most sincere gratitude."

Galadriel smiled kindly. "You all need to rest. I see great fatigue, both emotional and physical upon your face."

Thorin closed his eyes, expecting her to speak into his mind like she always did but nothing happened. "This turned out to be a fortnight from hell for all of us."

Galadriel's beautiful eyes burned through him. "I heard of your misadventures, but I am glad you all managed to persevere."

He bowed respectfully. "Me too."

"The Queen of the North is absent…"

Thorin cringed and held her eyes with great difficulty. "Please forgive my wife. She was feeling rather sick the last few days and after the Orcs ambushed us her health declined even further. This afternoon before reaching Lothlorien she became sick several times on the road."

"Her pregnancy…" Galadriel noted.

"We hope it is progressing well, but it is starting to affect her endurance. The journey hadn't been easy on her. I should have gone slower, but we need to reach Erebor as soon as possible." He bowed his head respectfully.

Galadriel's eyes looked towards her beautiful realm that was lit up by myriads of lamps of blue hue. "I have given her one of our best rooms. If you need one of our Midwives to take a look at her, feel free to ask."

Thorin rubbed his forehead feeling truly drained, but a great relief slid over him upon those words. "I would be grateful, my Lady. You have no idea what all this means for me."

Galadriel took a few steps closer and towered over him. "Oh, but I do. This has been a rather disturbing summer for you. King Thranduil and Lord Elrond informed me of your accident in Dol Guldur."

Thorin instantly tensed. Her dainty hand lingered inches from his shoulder and he felt warmth spreading inside him like an erupting star. When it reached the scar on his fingertip, it burned. "I feel well now…" He murmured with a weak voice.

Galadriel closed her eyes, but the smile never left her enchanted face. "You have been touched by darkness…"

Thorin felt that warmth scattering in his mind, overtaking it and suddenly all his fatigue, anger, fear and anxiety dissipated into the light.

"But the darkness doesn't linger anymore…" Galadriel's hypnotizing whisper send a shiver up his spine.

He felt every inch of his body buzzing and closed his eyes. Then she withdrew her hand and all those beautiful feelings pulled away so quickly they left him empty to crash down hard. He stumbled and looked up feeling woozy.

"I don't advice you to return to the Hills of Black Sorcery alone ever again, Thorin Oakenshield."

He shook his head feeling overcome and at the verge of tears, without understanding how she was able touch him so deeply. "I will not."

"That place holds great evil that you are not equipped to deal with. Let the White Council be its keeper and act as our eyes and ears." Galadriel smiled kindly.

"Yes, my Lady." Thorin inclined his head.

Galadriel's bright smile blinded him. "Go find your wife and may you rest well. Your soldiers and your animals are being taken care off. Worry about nothing."

Thorin closed his eyes. "Thank you…"

Galadriel began climbing up the steps to her throne soundlessly and her voice echoed in his mind for the first and last time.

_Go to her….she needs you…_

* * *

Thorin allowed the Elfish Midwife to exit their rooms. "So everything is okay?" The worry was clear in his voice.

"Yes. The Queen is entering her third month and soon all that queasiness shall stop." The beautiful Elf smiled.

"You see nothing else worrying?" He frowned.

"No, everything seems to be good." She tilted her head.

He closed his eyes. "Thank you."

"May she have an easy delivery and may the baby be blessed with health." The Elf offered.

A small smile toyed on his lips. "Be well my Lady."

She bowed and left. That left him standing at the door observing Eilin who seemed totally disinterested on that conversation. She was sitting on the bed with all her drawings spread around her. Thorin walked in and sat quietly next to her. "All is well with the baby." He whispered.

"I know." -She frowned- "Did the Lady of Light say anything about me not coming to greet her?"

Thorin frowned and looked at her. "No, I explained that you were tired."

Eilin sniffled.

Thorin's brow creased. "Hey, look at me."

Eilin didn't.

He stooped low. "Have you been crying?" He muttered.

Eilin scoffed. "Have I?"

His long fingers covered her knee. "Eilin did she speak in your mind?"

She shook her head. "No."

"Then why are you like this? The baby is okay and we are very close to home." Thorin frowned.

"I know." She murmured.

"Is it because of these drawings?" He looked around him at all those portraits that were supposed to be him and Erebor.

Eilin looked at him, before turning her attention back to the one she was holding. "I never had much of an imagination. These look nothing like you."

Thorin pressed his lips. "And yet they do."

Eilin's eyes fell on him demanding, but her question was quiet.

"This was created by the overactive imagination of a beautiful young girl who just wanted an escape from a gruesome reality." His voice was hushed.

Eilin face fell. "I tried hard you know."

Thorin looked at her lap and frowned.

"I tried hard to depict you, while Rhiannon was spouting off all those stories about how brave you were, how you stepped in to save your people, the sacrifices you made for them when you were in exile, the wars you partook in, the loss of your family, the treasure trove of Erebor and how you grew up buried in gold only to live like a pauper. That is when I felt a deep empathy for you. A connection… …" She whispered.

His hand tightened on her knee.

"I saw someone who was struggling as much as I did. Someone who had fell from grace and was simply trying to survive…Your stories sustained my sanity back then, when the world around me was rotten and filthy. I learned so much for our kin through them and I tried to embrace that part of my blood. I thought maybe one day -who knows- I'd find someone to help me. Someone who might have known my parents. Not you of course…Never you. You were a distant dream, I wouldn't dare approach." Her smile was worn.

He pressed his lips.

"Whenever Rhiannon began one of her stories, I escaped from reality and then I drew and drew until I fell asleep to beautiful dreams."

"I understand." He murmured.

"Did you see my room?" Her lips became a thin line of displeasure.

"Yes." He nodded.

"Did you find my carved name at the windowsill?" The tension was making her voice break.

"Yes."

"My bed?" There was a darkness crawling in those undertones slowly.

"I think it was yours, I am not sure." He cringed.

"The walls with my nail marks?" Her face hardened as her eyes pierced him.

His brows flickered. "Nail marks? No…" He stuttered.

"Did you miss that part of my life?" She jeered and placed the drawing upon the bed.

He didn't know what to tell her.

"You must be confused." She sighed.

"I am." He admitted.

"The wall opposite to my bed had marks that came from my fingernails when that filthy monster was raping me."

Thorin felt the world tumbling down on him and he inhaled deeply.

Eilin's eyes got lost at the wall across from her. "Three long nail marks and one that was half way down, because the nail of my pinky broke."

Thorin bit his lower lip hard and the muscles on his forearm flexed.

"It is so weird to remember the pain from that braking nail when the terror I felt right afterwards branded me for life. Isn't it peculiar how our mind seems to remember the smallest details when the world is coming to an end?" She looked at him with a disordered frown.

"Yes." His heart was racing.

It took her more than a few moments to speak again. "I still remember everything you know."

Thorin's breath became strained and his palm opened up and waited for hers.

She gazed at his hand for several moments before her trembling fingers slid up his scarred palm gently. "I have a beautiful family, a man who loves me, loyal friends, a warm home, a bright future ahead of me, but even after all those years …..He is still there, behind me…choking me."

Thorin squeezed his eyes tight and fought not to take her in his arms.

Her fingers entwined with his softly. "How can I forget, Thorin? How can I forget the overwhelming terror of being restrained by three men? I was unable to flee, unable to save my body from the pain. I still remember vividly how hard their fingers were twisting my wrists and how viciously they were pulling my hair. I still feel him lifting up my dress and keeping my legs apart. I will never forget the sheer force he used to thrust inside me. It felt like a knife was splitting me in two. I will never forget how difficult it was to breathe…I couldn't breathe…" She moaned.

Thorin felt his soul coming apart. His arm came behind her back and pulled her in expecting her to resist, but she didn't. She fell on him with such fervor that he lost his breath. "I couldn't breathe…" –she repeated- "And even after all these years whenever I remember it I still cannot breathe."

"Oh my heaven." -He leaned his cheek on top of her head and cradled her close to his heart- "I am so sorry you had to go through this…so sorry." He stammered.

"For years afterwards I saw my body through his eyes. I hated every single inch of me and I couldn't imagine myself delighting in any sexual encounter. I never allowed men to touch me, even though my youth yearned it. I thought this nightmare of hating my body would last forever."

Thorin stifled his tears and his mouth smoothed over her head tenderly. What could he say to all that?

"…but then you came along. You kissed me, you caressed me, you touched me and you loved my body so much that I started loving it too." She whispered and another sob rattled her chest.

His arms tightened around her, needing to quell her anguish.

"You know after my rape I had lost hope." She continued with a broken voice.

He nodded. "I know…"

"Nevertheless no matter how many valid reasons I had to lose hope, there were always more reasons as to why I should never give it up. Isn't that right?" She closed her eyes and pressed her cheek on his chest.

He tucked her head under his chin protectively. "That's right my treasure."

"You gave me all those reasons and now our children are giving me even more every single day." Her hands clawed him ruthlessly in her need to be kept there in this reality and not in her nightmares.

He nodded and his mouth ghosted her temple before placing a gentle kiss there.

"You know Thorin? After all that I have been through … I feel stronger." She sobbed.

"You are the strongest woman I have ever known." His fingers run down her cheek smoothly and wiped away her tears.

"I almost fell apart when I heard his voice again promising me the same nightmare." Her voice broke completely.

He squeezed her tight and gritted his teeth.

"I thought of our children, of you…of our new baby….our future and that made me stronger. This time it was different Thorin. He tried to make me break…but those old ruined pieces have already been mended by you and our family and I was stronger. I wasn't going to go down that easily. I'd take them all with me if need be." She murmured and another sob overwhelmed her.

"I know…" He kissed her brow.

"I will forever be the raped one, but never the broken one." She said.

Thorin pulled her in and buried his head on her shoulder. "Never the broken one…" He whispered and felt her trembling.

A strong groan exploded from her throat. Then a few whimpering moans, which were followed by a howl of pain that resounded in the Elven Realm with all the agony that was residing in her heart. He held her tightly, whispering meaningless nothings in her ear as she cried hard. He enwrapped her lovingly for as long as she required in order to empty all the terror she had felt in the past and all the fear she had experienced during her recent assault. He held her and comforted her like he should have held her that day he found her ….and he cried with her.

When after a long time the only thing that remained of that emotional outburst was a few sniffles, he kissed her earlobe. "Are you okay?" He murmured.

A soft nod came from her. "I am so tired."

He drew back and looked at her flushed face, her bloodshot eyes and her stuffy nose. "Come." He said and pulled her up. She stumbled and he steadied her upon his body before leading her to the bathroom where he helped her clean her face, blow her nose and change into the Elven nightgown. Then he led her back to the bed, where he made her lay down gently. He stooped over her and forced himself to smile when her drained eyes fell on his. "You look so beautiful when you are sad." He whispered.

A faded smile toyed at the edge of her lips. "Thorin thank you."

"For what?" He frowned.

"For killing him…for burning that place down, for ending this nightmare for me." She muttered.

He closed his eyes and kissed her hand tenderly. "It was the least I could do."

She drew his hand and tucked it under her chin. "Don't leave." She murmured and closed her eyes.

He lay next to her quietly and looked at her bloodshot eyes. "I am not going anywhere."

Eilin opened up his tunic and her arms rummaged under it until she could a firm hold of his naked back. Then her cheek leaned on his warm skin and she held onto to him so tightly that he felt unable to breathe. It was as if she was trying to tear his chest open and climb inside him. His heavy arms enclosed her tightly and his fingers slid under her mane and stroked her nape softly.

The relief he felt when he understood that she was ready to sleep, didn't allow him to calm down though. His eyes couldn't escape from the scattered drawings that were spread between their feet, so he stayed awake watching them long after Eilin's breath became rhythmically calm ….

* * *

 

It was further into the night that Eilin found herself walking amidst the tall trees of the silent Elven Realm, without knowing where she was going. She woke up feeling dizzy and after giving a long lasting look at her husband who was sleeping heavily next to her, she went out of their room and soon found herself wandering in the woods. That is when a melody filled her head, one that Rhianaye used to sing to her in order to put her to sleep.

_Wolves asleep amidst the trees  
Bats all a swaying in the breeze_

_But one soul lies anxious wide awake_  
Fearing all manner of ghouls, hags and wraiths  
For your dolly Polly sleep has flown  
Don't dare let her tremble alone *

Eilin walked up to the end of the trail and looked at some ruined steps that were covered in vines and tree roots. There at the top of the landing was a small inconspicuous fountain with a large basin entwined with vines in front of it. She pushed away the shadowy traces of hesitation and began climbing the steps carefully.

_Birds are silent for the night  
Cows turned in as daylight dies_

When she reached the basin she touched the rim and a sense of foreboding suddenly overflowed her. She leaned down and looked at her pale features mirrored in the black waters. The deep gash on her forehead was running parallel to her arched brow reminding her how close she came to dying. The bruises on her cheekbone and jawline were nowhere to be seen and her torn lips have mended leaving only a small pale gash on the edge of her lower lip.

_But one soul lies anxious wide awake  
Fearing all manner of ghouls, hags and wraiths_

Eilin frowned at her ashen face, as her long red curls rippled with the soft wind that was gliding through the ravine. She was unable to understand what she was doing out here. Why wasn't she in bed with Thorin, but instead she was looking fearfully at the reminders of her assault in this beautiful basin? When her fingers touched the water she pulled her hand back with an inhalation of surprise as it was freezing cold.

_My dear dolly Polly shut your eyes  
Lie still, lie silent, utter no cries_

That is when she saw a misty cloud forming at the edges of the basin and behind it came the outlines of two heads. She stayed there gazing at the images with bated breath with her heart drumming like mad in her ears. The moment she realized what the image was her face filled with tears.

Thorin was in there, cradling a beautiful newborn of fiery red hair. His finger looked massive next to the fragile cheek of the baby, but his smile was stunning as were the looks of the baby. Eilin's mouth formed an equally huge grin as she observed her husband cuddling their newborn and one of her hands came down to caress her lower belly. Her voice then resounded from the waters and it clear and strong.

"It is our little baby girl, my love. Baby Ida…."

"She is so beautiful…" He murmured.

Thorin looked up at her from the still waters and Eilin's fingers got immersed in the cold water trying to touch both him and their baby. That is when the beautiful family image got blown away and Eilin grunted in dissapointment. She took a step back and her strained breath echoed loud in her ears. Had she actually seen their new baby? Were they going to have Thorin's red-headed princess Ida indeed? Was his dream going to come true?

She looked around her feeling deeply emotional and not much less giddy. She steadied herself at the landing of the stairs and realized the only thing she could hear was her breathing and the soft rustling of the leaves on the branches. Other than that she was completely alone. There was no enchanting voice singing Rhiannon's lullaby, neither magical images inside that fountain. However the possibility that she had just looked into the famous mirror of Galadriel and saw their newborn, filled with heart with unspeakable euphoria and an overwhelming urge to go back and tell Thorin took over her.

* * *

 

When she entered their bedroom she stood like a specter at the foot of their bed observing him for a long time speechless. His long hair was spread upon the pillow and his fine lips parted. His hands were a slack fist that she wanted to entwine her fingers through. His tunic was open down to the waistband of his leather trousers and an unbidden yearning to kiss him overwhelmed her.

She approached the bed and lifted up her gown. Then wordlessly she removed her underwear and straddled him. When she settled on him an exhalation of gratification left her parted lips and her fingers followed the dark hair line that started from his chest and got buried under his waistline. Her touch was undemanding and inquisitive for several moments as her eyes concentrated on his handsome features.

That is when she found herself unable to remain still and she rocked gently on him. However his leather pants chaffed her nakedness under the airy nightgown and instantly a thunder of craving echoed through her spine. She bit her lower lip and leaned over until her lips could latch on his skin. Then her mouth began spreading myriads of gentle kisses all over his upper body.

That is when he started becoming aroused, both under her naked body and also in the pattern of his breathing. All she remembered was waking up in the middle of the night with the need to walk through the forest. All she recalled was seeing him cradling their baby Ida in his arms and her heart overflowing with happiness. Why did these emotions switched to an incontrollable need to engage him sexually?

She exhaled frustrated at her inability to leave him alone and decided to pursue her cause. When her nails followed the path of her palms and scraped him gently, he released a groan and his eyelids fluttered. Eilin's playful mouth chased the goosebumps on his skin until she could burrow her face hungrily under his chin. Then her teeth drew in a patch of skin and she felt the hair on his arms standing on end as she gifted him with a passionate love bite.

The moment her small hand got buried under her burning womanhood in order to lower his trousers he stirred. "Eilin…?"

She leaned her cheek upon his and her sharp breaths cascaded down the side of his face as she freed him. "I saw her…" She whispered.

"Who?" His hushed tone caressed her senses.

Eilin's lips lingered at the corner of his mouth breathlessly. "Our daughter…I saw her…" One hand began lowering the straps of her dress.

His brows met and his breathing became strained. "Rhianaye?" He murmured and his fingers came up to plane up the side of her bosom.

"Not Rhianaye…I saw our second daughter in the mirror of Galadriel…" Eilin face lit up.

Thorin allowed her to offer him a gentle kiss before drawing back. "You saw our baby?"

"She's your red-headed princess…she's our Ida…" She murmured and her hand got buried under her hips in order to enwrap him impatiently.

Thorin's chest freed a groan and his hands gripped her hips tightly. "Are you sure about this?"

Her small fist wrapped around his weighty erection and rubbed it firmly. Her eyes burrowed in his deeply. "I know what I saw…"

Thorin's eyes wavered with uncertainty. "What are you doing? You are in need for recovery…"

Her lips dragged upon his hotly. "I need to feel alive…please let me…" Her voice came as a pleading murmur.

He swallowed heavily and his fingers tunneled through her thick mane. Then he drew her down and his lips kissed hers gently a few times, before his mouth opened up to claim hers intensely.

The groan of satisfaction that erupted from her chest made him kiss her more excitedly and she reciprocated his touch with the same fervor, before straightening her shapely body. Then she lowered herself on him slowly, until he was in her balls deep. He felt the strong shudder that thundered through her body echoing upon his and a long exhalation left his parted lips.

As she began rocking rhythmically on him and her eyelids drooped heavily Thorin felt her scorching heat sliding around him like a glove and fought hard to keep his eyes open. The last thing he was expecting after last night's complete breakdown was for Eilin to seek him erotically in the middle of the night. No matter his mild bewilderment she didn't seem to have any qualms about taking him as ardently as ever. She took his hands and led them to her breasts and then she allowed herself to get lost in the red-hot need that pulsed lively between them.

His eyes got drawn into her rapture and that is when he slowly began realizing that this was an intimate moment that she shared with herself and he was nothing more than a tool…a means to an end. Instead of feeling picked, a torrent of happiness captivated his heart because Eilin had decided to pursue that intense moment of cleansing through him and not away from him. She was loving herself through him and that felt so precious.

Thorin gritted his teeth against the need to grind against her and forced himself to remain invisible as she quickly lured the orgasm out of her body with minimal assistance from him. The only moment that he was unable to stop himself from vocalizing was when Eilin stopped her swaying hips and drew him in so deeply that her body shuddered hard with the precursors of her release.

When she started moving again, Thorin became truly entrapped by her unbridled expression of longing and he lost himself inside her both physically and emotionally. The beauty of her face was intoned by her flushed cheeks. The swaying of her perky breasts was mesmerizing as was the small rivulet of sweat that rolled between them. Her small waist looked so fragile between his large hands and finally the red hair of her womanhood were glistening with the thickness of her want, making him light-headed…everything was enough to drive his hot-blood to explode …yet he remained still…craving to be used by her. This was not just simple love making, this was a ritual….a rite of passage in order to burn what had been hurting her all this time.

When her rhythm became almost frantic and her breathy moans pitched higher he felt her depths flooding him. His hand cupped her nape and pulled her down. His lips stroked hers in a gentle kiss that enticed a sob from her mouth. He pulled her back and looked at her closed eyes as tears were sliding down her cheeks.

"Look at me…" He begged.

She opened her eyes, but never broke her rhythm and he recognized the immense sadness behind the thickness of lust.

His wet lips brushed against hers and his voice came broken. "Let it all go Eilin….I am here….let it go on me."

She moaned hard and her hands grabbed his shoulders tightly. Her brow furrowed and her eyes squeezed tight as the first traces of an orgasm blossomed in her womb. Seeing her so unhinged, so fragile and strong at the same time, so emotional and passionate brought tears to his eyes as well.

A few more hard thrusts on him and the release finally tore through her sweaty body. He hissed when her teeth sank into his shoulder and her contractions caused his manhood to come in serious attention. However he didn't want to destroy her gorgeous physical and emotional closure with his own thirst for pleasure.

He remained still as she rocked against him a couple of times before stopping completely. He was still painfully hard inside her and Eilin's body seemed to appreciate that, as it quivered hard when she sat deeply on him again. Her teeth drew back to allow her lips to offer his bruised skin a few tender kisses and a long exhalation of relief filled the room as she delighted on the aftershocks. "Oh…"

He caressed her hair and the muscles of his forearm tensed from the need to keep his lower body still. "Is it better now?"

"Yes…Thank you for letting me do this…." She whispered.

A gentle smile adorned his face. "It was my pleasure."

"Not your pleasure yet…but soon." She muttered and made an effort to go down on him.

He pulled her up again with a grunt of regret. "No stop."

She looked up in confusion. "What are you doing?"

He smiled at her peaceful face and his heart filled with contentment. "Lay back down on me." He offered gently.

She hesitated. "Why?"

"Quiet…close your eyes…" He cleared her sweaty hair away from her back, before his fingers began a gentle caress all over her face.

She closed her eyes with a long exhalation. "What about you?" She murmured, but didn't make an attempt to move again.

"I need nothing more than what you are giving me at this moment…Now be silent." -He whispered and his fingers slid from her forehead down to her temple, then to her cheek and finally to her jawline. He pulled out of her depths and ignored her whimper of regret. Then he repeated that affectionate caress as many times as he needed in order to feel her become boneless and himself turn limp - "Eilin forgive me for being such an idiot."

She shifted slightly and her hands grabbed hold of his shoulders tightly. "What is this apology for?"

"The way I yelled at you after we found you. Forgive me. I am so sorry."

She exhaled and her lips offered a tender kiss on his shoulder. "I know you are."

"I have never been so afraid in my life..." He muttered.

"It's okay." She whispered.

"But is it?" He closed his eyes.

She didn't answer, but hugged him tightly and that was the answer he was looking for. His fingers planed over her shoulders and run down her ribs softly, before teasing her waist and travelling up her spine. Her breathing slowly turned light and peaceful, yet he didn't stop caressing her naked body until he heard her ….

Snoring….

The smile that formed on his face was radiating. "It's a red-headed princess and her name is Ida." He muttered.

Had the Gods honored him with another beautiful girl? Did Eilin truly see that in Galadriel's mirror?

With that heartfelt thought he closed his eyes and sleep slowly caught up to him.

The last thought in his mind was that today the fact that he didn't chase his own pleasure meant nothing to him….but what took place between him and his wife meant the world.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (*) Lullaby of Woe - Ashley Serena


	50. The bells thrice shall ring

 

* * *

 

**(To welcome home the Queen)**

* * *

It was one week later that Thorin's company finally made its appearance at the High Road that led to Erebor, trudging on dusty and exhausted. The pace that Thorin had set the march after Lórien was even quicker and more relentless than before. He wanted to return back to the Lonely Mountain as soon as possible for Eilin's sake. After the hot encounter she initiated with him at the Elven Realm they may have come close once again, however she was not the Eilin he knew. Her mind was preoccupied with dark thoughts. She seemed lost most of the times and she had a great difficulty sleeping. Whenever she didn't sleep inside the tent and camped with him next to the fire, he saw her stirring restlessly unable to settle down.

He asked her what was wrong, but all she did was snuggle against him and ask how close they were to Erebor. That was enough to make him press everyone harder than ever, so when they finally reached the golden city, his soldiers were barely hanging on for dear life. Dwalin pressed them on with a roughness that befitted the second in command, but he was in no better shape either. Thorin's concern though was not for the well-being of his soldiers, but Eilin's emotional state, which seemed rather troubled.

He looked back at the carriage and sighed. Dwalin nodded towards the gates that were flooded with people. "They are all gathered to see their King and pregnant Queen returning."

"I informed only the court of her pregnancy." Thorin frowned.

"And you think they would have kept it a secret? Such news spread like wildfire and everyone rejoices in them. Don't forbid your people to share in your happiness. The whole city is merry at these news and who can blame them?" Dwalin rejoined.

"Eilin is not well. She needs to talk with her father and rest, not favor all these people that want to pet her belly for Mahal's sake." Thorin sounded grumpy.

Dwalin pressed his lips. "Let them spoil her for a while and then I will lead her to Othin."

"I will do it myself." Thorin rebuked.

"You will be instantly engaged by the seven Lords and you know it." Dwalin raised his brow.

Thorin scoffed, but remained silent.

"You know I didn't find an opportunity to tell you before…but I am very glad that you gave Othin a head's up." Dwalin smiled.

Thorin shook his head. "I don't know if I did well…"

"You did very well, but I thought you didn't like the guy."

"I did it for her, not him." Thorin met Dwalin's gaze steadily.

Dwalin tilted his head. "Do you wish to be present when she talks with him?"

"Undeniably." Thorin sounded dry.

"Yet you won't do it." Dwalin continued.

Thorin shook his head again. "No…"

Dwalin squeezed Thorin's shoulder. "Good. We shall get you thoroughly drunk to keep away then."

Thorin smiled and that is when the bells started tolling.

Dwalin flared his shoulders proudly. "Thrice will the bells ring to welcome home the King…"

Thorin turned to the carriage. "And the Queen." He held his breath.

"She will do just fine." Dwalin reassured him.

"I am not sure." -Thorin muttered- "Stay in the lead, I need to check on her." He told Dwalin and turned his horse around.

Thorin brought his horse next to the carriage and pushed the tent aside. "Good morning. Are you alright?" He frowned.

She was sitting inside cross legged. Her face was pale and her eyes full of dread. "I am fine. The bells, we are home." She murmured.

"Yes."

She shook her head and her hands gripped the wooden board of the carriage. "I…I will…get ready."

"Want me to come help you change clothes?" He tried a tease.

She looked at him fleetingly and overlooked his playfulness completely. "I will get ready…yes." She murmured and turned her back to him.

Thorin sighed and rubbed his forehead. Today was not going to be an easy day…for anyone. He pressed the flanks of his horse and returned to take the lead. When Dwalin asked him how Eilin was, Thorin shook his head silently.

* * *

 

The bells rung joyfully, something that befitted the mood that had overtaken everyone who had gathered to welcome home the Royals. Dozens of young Dwarflings were trying to sneak between the adults in order to get a glimpse of the King and the elders were as always led to the front of the lines as a sign of respect. Everyone had gathered in order to ogle their rulers and feel secure upon their safe return.

However when Eilin got off the carriage and approached the entrance, the happy murmurs faded behind a misty veil of concern. Her wounds were mostly healed, but they had left behind a few angry scars that stained the perfection of her features. As the common people were not aware of the Queen's misadventure, a wave of fear rippled through them when she appeared.

Eilin clasped the Thorin's hand tightly.

He pressed it back and leaned close to her ear. "They are worried about your scars. Calm them down."

Eilin gave him a curt nod and forced herself to walk up the steps. There she stopped and looked around her with a calm smile. "My friends, I bid you a most heartfelt greeting. I cannot express the relief I feel at returning home. My heart truly rejoices as I am standing in your midst once again." Eilin's melodic voice resounded inside the huge halls.

"Your face my Lady…were you wounded?" A random voice shouted.

Eilin saw Rhiannon standing in front of the crowd with tears pooling in her eyes and her heart complained. She steeled her heart. "Such a long and arduous trip cannot be without mishaps, but there is nothing a true Dwarrowdam cannot overcome!"

A murmur of satisfaction flowed through the crowd and the darkness began lifting from their faces.

"We rode quickly and without rest for many days and nights. A few skirmishes here and there isn't unusual for our gutsy race…So consider these scars my emblems of honor. Heaven knows how many of them your King already has." Eilin crossed her hands with a smile and waited.

An eruption of laughter vibrated around her.

"Our baby, the King and I couldn't have gotten a better welcome than this one. Thank you so much." Eilin continued.

A loud enthusiastic applause surged through the crowd. Then everyone quickly approached the Queen in order to offer her and her belly their love. Eilin was very composed through that intense representation of affection and answered every question patiently. She squeezed every hand offered and embraced back when she was embraced. Then slowly the crowd began settling down and it wasn't long after that they allowed their Queen to have back her personal space.

That is when Eilin found herself in the arms of her best friend, who had been waiting patiently for the Queen to finish addressing her people.

"Oh my heaven, I have missed you so much…" Rhiannon squeezed her tightly.

Valdis pushed Eilin's hood back and caressed her hair. "I am so happy you are home, my Lady. We got news of your hideous misadventure, but we kept that hidden from the public as it would most certainly lead to an uproar."

Eilin closed her eyes and nodded. "I understand."

Rhiannon stroked the wound upon Eilin's forehead. "I wish I was there to gut that beast who dared to touch you. What did that filth do to your beautiful face?"

Eilin took her hand and pressed it tightly. "He gave me a wound to match that of my husband's." She smiled.

Rhiannon closed her eyes and pulled her in for a firm embrace. "I still cannot believe that you went through such hell."

The Queen tightened her arms around Rhiannon's back and kissed her temple. "It was a dark time that no one could have anticipated, but I had help my love." -Her voice became a mere whisper as she turned and looked at Thorin who was crowded by the Seven Lords. A small smile formed on her lips- "The best bodyguard of Middle Earth was protecting me."

Rhiannon drew back and looked at her face. "Still your wounds…"

"These are the proof that I am a survivor …" Eilin smiled bitterly.

Rhiannon touched her belly. "The baby, is it okay?"

Eilin cupped her hand. "The Elves of Lórien said that my pregnancy is fine. The only thing that is killing me is the damned nausea."

"So the new baby is going to be very feisty….like the twins…" Valdis smiled.

"I think so too." Eilin reciprocated the smile.

Rhiannon hesitated for several moments before grasping Eilin's hands. "You…saw…it? The Inn?"

Eilin's face clouded and she cupped Rhiannon's cheek gently. "Yes, my dear."

"H-how is it?" Rhiannon frowned.

Eilin's eyes watered. "It's gone…"

Rhiannon's face contracted. "What?" She murmured.

"It has become a pile of ashes." Eilin smiled sadly.

Rhiannon closed her eyes in defeat. "Oh…" She stuttered.

Eilin drew her in and kissed her forehead. "It is for the best…."

Rhiannon forced herself to smile and dab a few tears away. "I know…but look at me crying for that damn building when I have you again in my arms, safe! I am so silly."

Eilin held her close. "I know it hurts…"

Rhiannon nodded. "I don't care anymore about that. I only care that you and the new baby are well and back here with us."

Eilin drew back and smiled at her. "Me too! I just wish I had my children here with me."

"The Princelings will return home safely, you don't have to worry about a thing. My uncle is on it." Valdis said proudly.

"Has Lord Dain already left?" Eilin raised her brows.

"As soon as the King called for him, along with one of the best battalions of Erebor. The return of the Princelings is secure, my Lady." Valdis replied happily

Eilin closed her eyes. "For that I couldn't have been more grateful. I assure you."

"Be grateful to your husband, because he doesn't allow a single detail to escape him." Valdis smiled.

Eilin gazed at Thorin and her expression melted. "I know." She whispered.

"You look so tired." Rhiannon caressed her hair.

"And yet so radiant. The pregnancy befits your majesty." Valdis beamed.

Eilin pressed her lips and looked at her hands with a timid smile.

The women looked at each other for several moments, but it was Rhiannon who spoke. "You need to rest, because we have so many things to do! Start making new baby clothes, new sheets, maybe a new pram…." Rhiannon started counting her fingers enthusiastically.

"Believe me Rhiannon this pregnancy couldn't have come at a worst time. I am grateful for it, but I cannot think about prams and baby clothes right now. I am sorry." Eilin countenance clouded.

An austere scowl formed on Rhiannon's brow. "What nonsense is this? There is never a bad time to have a baby!" She exclaimed.

Eilin rubbed her temple. She already felt too overwhelmed to inform Rhiannon about Othin with the proper composure. She was already falling apart at the seams as she tried to locate him through the crowd. "I know you want to share in my happiness right now Rhiannon, but I can't…."

Rhiannon's radiance got grounded hard. "What's wrong?"

"Well, apparently Thorin didn't inform you about Othin." -Eilin's face clouded- "Or he informed a few selected ones?" She raised her brow.

Rhiannon clasped Eilin's hands. "What about Othin?"

"I will explain to you soon, just not now. I need to talk with…listen…" Eilin didn't know where to begin.

It was Thorin who felt her uneasiness, but also he was the one who saw the face of her father observing them pale as a ghost from inside the darkness of the King's Halls.

Thorin leaned over to Dwalin. "Save her from Rhiannon and take her inside. Othin is waiting for her."

Dwalin nodded and walked over to Eilin. Without a word he engaged her arm. "Follow me, my Lady."

"Hey! Where do you think you are going? I was talking with her!" Rhiannon shouted.

"You have all the time you need to do this later. The Queen comes with me now." Dwalin rebuked.

Eilin turned to her friend. "I need to do this. I will talk to you soon." She reassured Rhiannon and walked through the crowd with Dwalin's help who easily opened up a path for her.

* * *

 

Thorin's eyes followed his wife for several moments before turning his attention to the seven Lords who never stopped barraging him with questions about their trip, about the health of the children, about the abduction of the Queen and about her pregnancy. He gave this single line answers while his mind was overflowing with the need to be there with her. So when the Lords led him inside, he followed half-heartedly, stealing glances towards the route that Eilin took with Dwalin.

When he finally entered the meeting room, everyone filed in behind him and the huge cavern resounded with excited commotion. Thorin emptied himself on a chair and leaned his head back, trying to make sense of their endless rumpus while his mind was trotting behind Eilin's long dress. He remained thusly silent for several moments, allowing them to saturate him in this disorganized chaos before he brought his hand heavily on the round table and roared. "Silence!"

Everybody froze and looked at him.

"I honestly have missed you and your racket, but we have been marching like the beasts of Mount Doom were on our tail for three weeks now. I am exhausted beyond count and I cannot understand a single thing you bastards are saying." Thorin exhaled roughly.

Bjarki bowed. "We should take turns to speak then."

Thorin inclined his head. "Do so before I start shaving beards off."

A murmur of laughter rippled around the room and it was Fili who took a step forth. "Uncle, I think I speak for everyone when I say that we are deeply excited for the new pregnancy of the Queen and the imminent coming of my fourth cousin." He smiled.

Everyone agreed loudly with that statement and they all began clapping.

Thorin pursed his lips. "Thank you."

"How is your health? Have you recuperated during your stay in the Shire?" Bjarki asked.

"Yes even though I wouldn't have minded to enjoy a few more calm days away from you devils." Thorin pinched the bridge of his nose.

Another rippled of laughter filled the rooms.

"Children are having fun?" Fili asked.

"They are levelling Hobbiton, so yes…they are having fun." Thorin snorted.

"They have the fiery blood of the Longbeards sizzling in their veins. Good for them!" Bjarki roared and everyone joined in excitedly.

Thorin raised his hands and they slowly calmed down.

"How is the Queen's health after that cowardly attack on her person?" Durar asked concerned and everyone countenance became solemn at those words.

Thorin looked at all the sincerely troubled faces around him and felt his heart pinching him. "She went through hell, but Eilin is a very strong woman. She recovered very quickly. That is all that matters."

Bjarki clasped his shoulder. "You know that we are all here for you and her, right? Anything you need…you just have to ask."

Thorin patted Bjarki's hand and then looked around him gratefully. "Thank you. Now that we are back home everything is going to be alright."

The Seven Lords looked at each other carefully, but their smiles never wavered.

"Dain took the mission of bringing back the children very seriously. He employed the fifth division, the best one of the army." Fili said.

Thorin humphed. "Very good. That's why I chose him."

Bjarki decided to intervene with a playful remark, which alleviated part of the darkness that was veiling Thorin's countenance. "So the Queen has fallen for you once more hasn't she?"

A happy murmur surrounded Thorin.

"When I fell for her twelve winters ago, I never got back up." Thorin replied playfully and many laughed.

"So you wanted to prove once more that you are simply unable to control yourself, didn't you? You had to tease another child out of our beautiful Sovereign."

Thorin huffed. "Can you blame me?"

"Heaven forbid!" Bjarki chuckled.

A rippled of satisfied laughter resounded inside the cavern.

"Are you trying to catch up with Bombur?" Fili crossed his arms.

"No one can catch up with that old barrel…" Thorin scoffed.

"Eight children….a difficult task even for the most blazing Longbeard." Servin raised his brow.

Thorin looked at him long and hard. "Indeed."

"Well, you are half way there. What's a couple more?" Durar added.

Thorin pursed his lips. "That's easy for you to say. I don't think I have the tenacity to sprint the other half to the finish line without losing my mind to be honest." Thorin shook his head and the dejection was clear in his eyes.

Another bout of laughter filled the room and Bjarki sat on the table in front of Thorin while the rest of Lords surrounded him. "You may have to try again though, if this baby turns out to be yet another boy." Bjarki raised his brow.

"How so?" Thorin frowned.

"Well, we have so many boys already. We need more girls. Princess Rhianaye cannot satisfy all the possible father-in-laws in this room. Our sons might have to fight to the death for the hand of your stunning daughter." Bjarki winked at him.

A gentle smile brightened Thorin's face. "Oh, I see."

"You keep seeding boys….they are right." Fili smirked.

"Well, forgive me for messing up everyone's plans for the future." Thorin exclaimed.

"Maybe if you tried to do the deed in a different position, maybe a different time of the day or in a different manner?" The Lord of the Broadbeams scratched his chin.

Thorin raised his hand. "Are you seriously trying to give me intercourse advice at this moment?"

"Well I have two daughters!" The Áithrasir smiled proudly.

A ripple of mirth enfolded him.

"Well, we have to discover a way for you to deliver more girls to us and fewer boys. Maybe you should listen to Áithrasir, he knows what he is talking about." Bjarki raised his brow.

"Even if I do that, how can you be so sure that my girls will chose one of your boys to wed?" Thorin raised his brow.

Everyone exchanged surprised looks. "Where else would they choose a husband from?" Bjarki asked.

Thorin pursed his lips. "We are talking about rank, correct?"

Everyone nodded. "Of course."

Thorin's fingers drummed on the table. "And you really thought it was a good idea to mention this silliness to me especially?"

The Seven Lords exchanged uncomfortable glances.

"Both the women I loved to death and wished to wed, were below my rank. The mother of my children and your Queen used to work as a tavern maiden." Thorin's face contorted with austerity.

Bjarki looked at Durar who cringed.

Fili pressed his lips. "Well, he is right."

"I am the last one to lead by example. It would serve you well to remember that fact when it comes to your children. Neither mine, nor yours are obliged to marry high in rank. They are going to choose the partners they wish. I for one will never dictate to my children whom to wed. I am not going to offer advice I never followed." Thorin smiled wistfully.

"I think you are the best one to lead by example. I for one would feel blessed if my son and daughter marry the one whom they love and not the one who would please me rank-wise." Durar said quietly.

Servin looked away with a small smile and crossed his arms.

Thorin's eyes locked with Durar's and he inclined his head. "Thank you."

Bjarki exhaled disheartened. "Well you can exchange as many compliments as you wish between you and pamper each other's ego, but I won't stop hoping that Bjarngrímur will steal the heart of Erebor's most precious Gem…Princess Rhianaye. Rank or not I feel your daughter is the best bride for my son."

Thorin chuckled. "If he is a good man for her…then why not? But rank will have nothing to do with that choice. I will make sure I explain that to Rhianaye well."

"Oh stop being so ethically stiff and get down to business with the Queen if she births another boy. We need more daughters from you, so we can have more chances to become in-laws." Bjarki smirked.

Thorin grabbed his hand and brought it down to the desk. "If your son fails with Rhianaye then I will not have so much trust in him to try again with any other daughters I may have." A big smile formed on his lips.

Bjarki pushed his arm away playfully. "You bloody bastard, you stubborn oaf…I really missed you more than all of Erebor combined."

Thorin laughed and closed his eyes. Slowly he allowed the camaraderie of the Seven Lords to engulf him and made him partially forget Eilin's important meeting with Othin. Intending to enjoy his time with them after so long he pulled Fili close and ask him for what he had missed the most. "Any ale available for a very tired soldier son?"

"No alcohol on the trip?" Fili squeezed his shoulder.

"Blood hell no and that almost did me in. We left in a hurry and I didn't have the time to rampage through Bilbo's stock. My throat is drier than my soul." Thorin rubbed his forehead with an exhausted smile.

Fili pressed Thorin's shoulder. "Anything for you uncle." He said and dashed out of the room to find the best bottles from the cellar.

And just like that Thorin started to relax under the care of the most ferocious Dwarven Lords of Middle Earth, while his wife was getting ready to have one of the most intimidating meetings of her life.

* * *

 

Eilin stood at the door feeling her heart frozen and her extremities completely numb. Her eyes were piercing Othin who stood in the middle of the room with his hands crossed and his eyes cast to the floor. The fiery red tendrils on his hair that were mingling with the silver locks, made her stomach drop. She closed her eyes and steadied her heart. "Lord Othin…"

He looked up sharply.

Eilin forced herself to meet his eyes that were so similar to hers. The more she looked at him, the more she saw herself mirrored upon his face…and the angrier she became for some reason. "The King has informed you of everything that had taken place?"

Othin nodded. "Yes, my Lady."

"Then you shouldn't be calling me my Lady." Eilin said more aggressively than she had been intending.

Othin looked at the floor again. "What I should I call you then, my Lady?"

"How about daughter…" Eilin's eyes thinned on him.

Othin remained mute.

"You got nothing to say?" Eilin raised her brow.

Othin swallowed heavily.

"Aren't you going to run at me with open arms? Don't you need to embrace your own daughter?" Eilin continued coldly unable to understand what had taken over her all of a sudden.

"Would you accept a hug from me, child?" The pain was obvious in Othin's eyes.

Eilin humphed and rubbed her forehead. "No, you are right. I don't think I am ready to accept anything from you at this moment."

Othin cringed and twisted his fingers firmly around each other. "What can I do to change that?"

"You are too late to change anything." She spat and felt her hair standing on end.

Othin took a step back, but his eyes never left hers. "I am here…"

Eilin scoffed and turned around. "After thirty seven winters….yes you are here…to pose as my father…"

Othin took a step towards her. "I never intended to pose as anything…I just wanted to be close to you, to see you."

"Well you made it. So do you like what you see?" Eilin turned to him and her eyes were hard.

Othin's eyes filled with tears. "I am proud of what I see…"

"However I am not proud of what I see." Came Eilin's hard comeback.

Othin frowned and squeezed his eyes tight. "I can understand that."

"And still you have no wise words to offer. Nothing to change the wave of resentment I feel towards you?" Eilin jeered.

Othin felt the tears pooling hot at his cheekbones. "I only have what remains of me to offer you and my solemn promise to stay next to you from now on."

"Have you asked me if I want you to do that?" Eilin raised her brow.

Othin frowned in disbelief. "You want me to leave?"

Eilin felt her heart screaming in pain and even though all she wanted to do was embrace him at the same time she wanted to hurt him as much as he had hurt her…unintentionally or not it didn't matter. "You lingered in Mirkwood for a long time after meeting me and Thorin for the first time."

Othin nodded. "Yes."

"Did you ever intend to step up to your obligations or did you intend to run away like a coward? Like you did after my husband's kin went into exile?" She hurled at him.

Othin grabbed his chest and opened his mouth, but no words came out. He grew distinctly pale.

Eilin raised her hands and looked away. "I really don't know what I am doing here right now. I don't even know if I want to talk to you…."

Othin pressed his lips and his jawline flexed. "Eilin…please."

The moment she heard her father speaking her name with such yearning, she shattered. "I can't do this, I am sorry." She whispered and run to the door.

Othin run after her. "Wait! Give me a chance!"

She crashed the door behind her and dashed at the corridor.

* * *

 

Thorin lifted the wine bottle and took several sips. "I am too wasted to get mad at you right now."

Durar covered his face. They were the only ones left in the meeting room after a long and cheerful reunion that included a lot of good ale. "Please forgive me. I wanted to message you, but then your notified us of the Queen's misadventure and I didn't think the time was appropriate. I preferred to tell you in person."

"What went through your mind? Your niece almost destroyed my marriage with her petty and conniving ways." Thorin glared at him.

"She is a young woman who doesn't know any better. After she lost her husband, her soul had been forlorn. However she still festers the fire of youth in her heart…she saw you…and like many other Dwarrowdams she yearned for you Sir. That is not something uncommon and you know it." Durar tried.

"Neither is it rare for many of my warriors to ache for the Queen, but I don't see any of them trying to wedge themselves between me and my wife." Thorin tilted his head.

"Please find it in your heart to forgive her and me…." Durar closed his eyes.

"You?" Thorin frowned.

"Yes, it was my fault for bringing her here." Durar continued.

"And it is your fault she remains here." Thorin took another hearty sip.

"I cannot send her back home. She will be alone there and I fear for her emotional state. I need to have her under my supervision. I warned her to steer clear from your Majesty, but after what happened I don't think she wants to get involved in any intrigues anymore either. Please reconsider letting me keep her close by. She is like a daughter to me." Durar clasped his hand.

Thorin's gaze was grave. "You know I care deeply about you."

Durar nodded. "As I do about you."

"What happened was not your fault and my feeling towards you remain the same…but as for your niece." Thorin hesitated.

"At least let her remain on a trial period. Think of the good friendship Prince Thrarin has with Brunar." -Durar pressed Thorin's hand- "Do it for me, please. She will be under my supervision."

Thorin exhaled. "Brunar is a good boy."

"Then allow them to keep their friendship and me to control my niece until you make your final decision." Durar's voice was beseeching.

Thorin cringed.

"Consult your Queen with this…think about it…I beg you." Durar pressed on.

Thorin didn't have the time to answer, because there was a sharp knock on the door and Dwalin came in. "Sorry to interrupt, but Eilin's meeting was cut short rather abruptly."

Thorin stood up so quickly that his chair toppled over. "Where is she?"

"At the top rampart." Dwalin rejoined and drew back as Thorin stormed past him.

* * *

 

When he reached the Royal balcony that he always used to overlook his lands, he saw her hurdled figure and his breath caught. "Hey beautiful." He whispered.

She scoffed.

He came up behind her. "What happened?"

She shook her head. "I couldn't do it."

His large hand landed on her shoulder. "Othin?" He murmured.

She turned around and he saw her broken features. "I thought all I wanted to do was see him…that I needed to talk to him and ask him a million questions. I felt like I couldn't wait to see him face to face during our whole journey. Yet the moment our eyes met I only felt anger and resentment seething inside me. All I wanted to do is start accusing him."

Thorin pressed his lips. "I see."

"Can you believe that I partially empathized with you attacking him? That is how bad it was…" She smiled bitterly.

Thorin looked away at that.

"Not that I excuse your attitude." She added austerely.

He nodded. "I know."

"But I understand what came over you, because the same fury overwhelmed me too…" She whispered.

His solemn gaze was once again on her.

"I didn't know what to tell him that didn't sound like a damned accusation." Eilin cupped her face.

His arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her in. She didn't resist at all…more like she nestled on him. "I understand. No one said this was going to be easy Eilin."

"How can you understand? You were raised by both parents in a loving family. One of my parents thought I was not good enough and the other one didn't go through enough trouble to find me. "

"Maybe I cannot truly sympathize with being rejected by a parent, but I can relate on being a dissapointment to them." Thorin continued.

She tightened her arms around him. "Can you really?"

"I always felt like a dissapointment for Thrain. I did not turn out to be exactly what he had wished for. He attempted to mold me as the expected King that would sit under the Arkenstone and lead the Seven Kingdoms. You think if he was alive he would have accepted you as his daughter in law?" Thorin's voice was quiet.

Eilin wiped a few stray tears and shook her head. "No."

Thorin nodded. "That's right. He was a good man, but very cruel when it concerned the pureness of our family line. If he was alive to witness me placing a woman who carries the blood of men upon the throne he would have considered me a disgrace to our race."

Eilin cringed and her grip on him tightened.

"You see our fathers failed us both, one way or another. Yours was unable to track you down for years, mine made my life hell for centuries. However I made relative peace with my past with your help Eilin. Everything that happened back then I can now put to rest….I even forgave Thrain because of you."

She tried to mute her sniffles on his chest.

Thorin's palms run down her back tenderly. "To forgive is godlike. It helps alleviate the burdens from your mind. It is possibly the only way to find peace. Listen to what he has to tell you and try to forgive him so you can move away from the past and return to me…to the present…to our family….please. We all need you back here with us…"

"Are you seriously trying to help Othin?" The frustration was clear in her voice.

He frowned. "No, I am trying to help you and if I need to do that through him, then so be it."

"I fear that if I go back now I will not ask him all those questions that had been eating me up. I will start hurling curses at him until I see him broken." Eilin's voice became hard.

"Do you wish to break him then?" Thorin asked.

"Didn't you?" She looked up at him searchingly.

He tilted his head. "Touché."

She pursed her lips. "I have so many things to tell him and yet the only feeling in my heart is hatred. I want to hurt him…"

"Like he had hurt you by being absent?" Thorin frowned down at her.

She nodded and her eyes filled with tears. "Yes." She spat.

His forefinger stroked her cheek lightly. "Eilin your father was abandoned much like you were…He didn't leave you. He was left behind. You told me so yourself…he was a victim much like you, remember your words?" He tried to put things into perspective for her.

Her hands tightened on his back. "I know…damn it I know!" She grumbled.

He cupped her face and drew it under his chin. "Take a deep breath." He kissed her forehead gently.

She did so and closed her eyes. "I know what you are saying and I know that you are right. My mind understands, but my heart cannot follow. I cannot go back to him right now. I just can't…"

Thorin enfolded her upon his bosom. "You don't have to do it now. We just returned from a very grueling journey. Your pregnancy is making you highly emotional and you barely had a single goodnight's rest as that carriage was not the most comfortable thing ever for your back. You need to take a warm bath, to eat good food and then sleep. When you wake up you can rethink about what you wish to do with Othin. How does that sound?"

Eilin nodded and huddled against him. "I like it."

"Now do you want me to treat you like a baby?" Thorin drew back and captured her chin between his thumb and forefinger.

Eilin snorted.

"I can bathe you, feed you and put you to sleep." He winked.

"I'd like that."

He offered her a coy smile. "It shall be my pleasure." Then his leaned down and his lips captured hers with gentle kiss.

Eilin inhaled deeply and her fingers curled around his lapels greedily. "Thank you for being so understanding." She stammered.

Thorin sighed and propped his cheek on her head. He closed his eyes and kept her close to his heart while silently delighting at the cool breeze that was swirling through their hair. Only when she decided to pull away did he animate and take the initiative to lead her down to the hot springs.

* * *

 

After taking care of his wife, Thorin retreated to the meeting room in order to collect his thoughts. That was achieved with the help of the ale he had longed for so much during that difficult journey from the Shire. He stayed there gazing quietly at the cold fireplace and sipping his drink until the sun had set at the horizon. It was long after the bells had chimed the final call for the night that Thorin decided to leave that quiet and dimly lit cavern.

After a long walk and a couple of questions to the appropriate people, his steps led him to the armory. There he stopped under the tall archway with a bottle of ale cradled between his fingers. The runes of power that were carved around the door glimmered under the light of the lambs that hang ample from the ceiling. Thorin's eyes twinkled as he entered and approached Othin who seemed very concentrated in furbishing some breast plates.

"Stand up for the King!" The supervisor's cry, stopped everyone from their work and rattled Thorin's nerves.

Othin stood up so abruptly the heavy breastplate clashed to the floor. Everyone else followed his example.

Thorin raised his hand casually. "Revoke that…I am too far gone to stand on proper decorum."

The weapons masters looked at each other carefully.

"Isn't it too late to be working?" Thorin looked at the supervisor.

"We had several new armors delivered today and we wished to go through them before retiring Sir." The supervisor bowed deeply.

"Allow your men to get some rest…They can continue tomorrow." Thorin nodded towards the doorway dismissively.

The supervisor bowed again. "As your command Sir."

Thorin turned his attention to Eilin's father. "Master Othin, follow me." He said calmly.

Othin stood up, but his knees were barely holding him up as he stumbled behind the King. Thorin led him over a long bridge that cut through several dark rooms and then opened a door that led to a balcony. He walked over to the railing and allowed the wind to invigorate him.

"I really needed this." He sighed.

"Sir…I am so-sorry if I made the Queen sad and angry…I never meant to offend her…" Othin stumbled visibly.

Thorin gulped a large sip. "The armory always owned one of the best balconies of Erebor. You see my grandfather wisely designed it so he could observe the enemies whilst he was preparing for battle." Thorin said quietly.

"I have never been to this place before." Othin's voice was barely heard.

"You were a member of the Royal Guards, yet you never had the chance to come here?" Thorin looked at him nonchalantly above his shoulder.

"No, Sir…I was never required to be present in the quarters of the High Commanders." Othin bowed.

Thorin tilted his head. "Just look at this beauty…"

Othin dared a timid glance towards the vast valley and dense woods that spread under the immense bulk of the Mountain. "It is gorgeous Sir…" He faltered.

"Overlooking our lands from these balconies always had a calming effect on me. I sometimes wonder why none of my ancestors ever ordered a balcony to be built through that stained glass in the Throne room." Thorin frowned.

Othin's mouth toyed with a timorous smile. "Maybe they didn't want an easy access to the Throne from the outside for safety reasons?"

Thorin snorted and took another sip. "All the Kings who sat on that Throne perished under the worst circumstances and not one of those deaths was the fault of that stained glass."

Othin nodded with a sad smile. "That is true."

"Good idea…" Thorin murmured.

Othin frowned. "What is?"

"I will order the masons to build a new balcony behind the throne….effective immediately." Thorin smirked.

Othin lowered his eyes and cleared his throat. "A wise choice Sir."

"You know you don't have to agree with everything I say just to be on the safe side." Thorin raised his brow and looked at him side-ways.

Othin swallowed heavily.

Thorin turned around and observed the horizon, while he took another sip. "Bruising on your neck is completely gone I see."

Othin's hand caressed his neck. "Yes Sir…" He muttered.

"Caused us a lot of grief." Thorin humphed thoughtfully.

"Me?" Othin murmured with a deep frown.

"That bruising…or better yet my fingers around your throat." Thorin tilted his head and tasted the ale again.

Othin opened his mouth to speak, but didn't know what to say.

Thorin looked pensively at the sky before he spoke again. "They tell me you are working double shifts."

Othin hesitated. "I bought a horse for young Rhianaye and I have to ….pay it."

Thorin's brows furrowed. "You bought my daughter a horse?"

"Just a small…something…as a gift." Othin faltered.

Thorin inclined his head. "That was rather considerate of you."

Othin pressed his lips.

"You are having a great difficult speaking to me." Thorin noticed.

Othin cast his eyes low.

"I terrify you, don't I?" Thorin took another sip.

Othin cleared his throat. "Y-yes…ever since you were a young Commander of your mighty Grandfather's army."

A playful smile toyed upon Thorin's lips. "Good." He whispered.

Othin took a step back and frowned deeply. He felt his hands shaking hard.

Thorin was ruminative for several moments before he spoke again. "So how did the meeting with the Queen go?"

"Not well…" Othin cringed.

"I see."

Othin closed his eyes and his hands became tight fists. "I don't think she wants to talk to me Sir."

Thorin leaned his elbows on the marble railing. "You have no experience in being a father."

Othin looked at the King's wide shoulders, disconcerted.

Thorin's lips turned down and his countenance darkened. "I have done many jobs in my life old man. I've been a commander, a prince, a sword-smith, a beggar, a wood carver, a mercenary, a warrior…A king….you name it. No job has been harder than being a father."

Othin was eating him up with his eyes.

"Once upon another lifetime I thought I'd never be blessed with fatherhood ….now after three children I don't think I will ever be blessed with having my sanity whole again…"

Othin's lips formed a faded smile. "It's that hard?"

Thorin nodded. "Let's just say that only now I understand why my father was so strict with me, not that I excuse him, mind you. Parenthood needs heaps of patience, absolute loss of freedom and endless worrying. It pays you with plenty of self-doubt and uncertainty. It requires infinite talking and will demand that we destroy our pride. In your case it will take even more effort."

Othin looked away and felt his eyes welling.

Thorin sighed deeply. "Eilin learned everything about Evelyn from an old hooker at the place she used to live in. It wasn't easy on her."

Othin cupped his mouth. "Oh heaven…"

"She was called a mistake…she was told that she is solemnly lucky that she didn't end up in a sewer like most babies like her do." Thorin's voice became deeper.

Othin began weeping at those words.

"She feels rejected by both parents." Thorin gave him a cold side-gaze.

Othin's countenance took a plunge. "I never rejected her…I didn't know she was alive…"

Thorin raised his hand. "Save those words for her….not me."

Othin stopped and averted his teary eyes.

"She needs time to accept that you want to be her father. That you are truly here for her." Thorin said quietly.

Othin nodded and wiped his tears away. "I know."

"You also need time to understand what it takes to be a father." Thorin's voice was austere.

Othin swallowed heavily.

"Or a grandfather…." Thorin added flatly.

Othin closed his eyes.

"You know she is pregnant to our fourth child…" Thorin looked at him.

Othin nodded. "Yes…blessed may she be…"

Thorin pursed his lips. "She wants to name the baby Orin if it is a boy."

Othin looked up sharply and his eyes betrayed unveiled ache.

Thorin inclined his head. "You understand how serious this is?"

Othin covered his mouth and his knuckles turned white. He was pale as a ghost. "Yes."

"She is deeply hurt…so be patient with her." Thorin raised his brow.

Othin shuddered hard.

"Look at you." Thorin scoffed dismissively.

Othin licked his lips nervously.

"You cannot look at me, you cannot even talk to me…how can you expect to talk to her?" Thorin frowned.

Othin shook his head and tears filled his eyes anew.

"Come on old man…lift your eyes to me!" Thorin grumbled.

Othin raised his head fearfully.

"Don't you think it is time to face your obligations straight in the eyes no matter how terrifying they may seem?" Thorin tilted his head.

Othin was shaking like a leaf in front of Thorin's assertiveness.

"You've run away all your life from anything that was too hard, but it is time to stop now and face reality. Face your daughter." Thorin continued relentless.

"Even if she doesn't want to talk me?" Othin stammered.

"Even then." Thorin frowned.

"Even if she only wants to accuse me?" Othin muttered.

"It is the child's job to judge the father's ability to parent it and the father's job to accept that judgment and change his ways if they are wrong. There is no room for pride in fatherhood…neither room for cowards." Thorin rejoined coldly.

Othin closed his eyes.

"This isn't the exile of our kin from Erebor that you had the opportunity to run away from. This is a fight that you have to step up to unless you want to lose your daughter forever, because I will not allow you to ghost around her without giving her the answers she needs or the father she truly deserves." Thorin thrust his chin up.

Othin opened his eyes and clenched his fists. "Maybe she is not ready to hear me."

"You are the parent. It is your job to take responsibility for your actions, past and present. You don't ask if she is ready to hear you. You look her straight in the eyes and speak." Thorin's eyes thinned.

Othin's gaze didn't waver from the King's.

"You will stand in front of her bravely and take on every accusation she throws your way…you will let her words sink in deeply and you will embrace the errors of your ways and how they have affected your child. Only if you are sincere with her and with yourself you might get a chance to approach her." Thorin returned.

Othin brow morphed in a deep scowl. "I know."

Thorin scoffed and a small side-smile formed on his lips. "Welcome to fatherhood…" He said and walked past Othin.

Eilin's father turned his eyes towards the horizon.

Thorin paused by the door with his back turned to Othin. "She is brilliant at archery. I am sure she'd appreciate one of your bows as a personal gift. Also she loves flowers, especially Daylilies. They are in season now and the Mountain side is full of them." He placed the bottle at a marble bench next to him- "Try this, it is very soothing on a worried mind. It comes from the cellars that are reserved only for me." He pointed at the ale.

Othin pressed his lips tightly. "Thank you."

Thorin turned around and left without any more words. He only stopped for a moment when he heard Othin collapsing to the floor and his sobs resounding inside the vast cavern of the armory. Then he looked at the supervisor who was bowing deeply. "Send him home for the next couple of days, but keep him on the payroll."

"At your command."

With a gentle nod Thorin walked away.


	51. A bunch of Daylilies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to being under some new medication for a slight health issue I feel very sluggish and I think that has affected my writing performance. If you notice anything out of order please tell me as I am unable to recognize my mistakes and I find it harder than usual to edit.  
> Thank you.

 

Eilin stood at the end of a path that led to a wide open area in the middle of the forest that was used for endurance training and looked at her husband. He was holding a rope that was attacked to a beautiful black horse with a long mane and he was urging it to gallop in circles with the help of a long whip.

Eilin walked up to him. "Been looking all over for you. Fili told me you haven't been in your office today, neither in the Throne room."

"I am taking a small break." He smiled at her.

"Even though we just returned from vacation?" She crossed her arms.

"That was one part vacation, three parts a trip into hell." Thorin pursed his lips and urged the horse to go faster.

Eilin's face fell. "I know."

"Did you just wake up?" He gave a quick look.

"Yes."

"Did you rest well?" The concern was clear in his voice.

"Was I struggling in my sleep again?" Eilin frowned.

"Thankfully no." His gaze was insistent.

She exhaled. "I feel well rested."

"Good."

"Listen I talked with Lord Durar this morning." She let those words linger.

"Ah…" Thorin smirked.

That smirk mirrored slowly upon Eilin's face. "That's the only thing you have to say?"

"He told you about Ith." The expression on his face was somewhat amused.

She crossed her arms. "Indeed…"

"And what is your opinion then?" Thorin raised his brow.

"You are asking for it?" Eilin seemed surprised.

"Of course."

"I thought you had already made up your mind about allowing her to stay in Erebor, despite the mess she created for us." Eilin's tone was slightly picked.

"No, the final decision is up to you." Thorin fixed his eyes on her calmly.

Eilin's mouth toyed with a smile. "Thank you."

"Her son is a very good boy and has become a loyal friend to Thrárin. I think you should consider giving her a second chance just for the sake of the children alone." Thorin rejoined.

"A second chance to mess up our marriage?" She poked.

He exhaled vexed. "Our marriage was never endangered because of her. It was never endangered, period."

Eilin's cheeks blushed. "I am very happy to hear that."

Thorin hesitated. "Are you still jealous of her? She was never truly a threat. Just a silly young woman who was in despair after the death of her husband. Nothing more."

Eilin's eyes shadowed. "Feeling desperate about the loss of a loved one doesn’t excuse her lack of morality. You think if I ever lost you I’d go and fall for the first handsome married man in my way. That was absolutely dishonorable."

Thorin's face mellowed. "It was indeed, but you shouldn't judge others by your standards. That is unfair."

Eilin scoffed. "Okay, I felt that one."

"So, how about it? Can we give her another chance to prove that she can remain in Erebor and out of our way, while Brunar can keep Thrárin good company?" Thorin offered.

Eilin closed her eyes and a smile embellished her lips. "We can let her stay on a trial period. After what happened the last two fortnights I am seeing things under a different light altogether."

Thorin's brows creased. "Me too." His voice became hushed.

She straightened up and cleared her throat. "Let’s forget about Ith, okay? She will get the opportunity to prove that she won’t cause any more trouble for us. Tell me about this proud beauty."

"This is Rhianaye's new horse." He struck his whip at the hind legs of the mare forcing her to keep up her quick gallop.

Eilin wrapped her arm around his waist and her head leaned on bicep. "You went ahead and got her one so soon?"

"No. Your father did." Thorin said nonchalantly.

Eilin drew back and frowned at him. "Say what?"

"This is not a simple mare. This is one of the best Friesian beauties, bought straight from the most exclusive farms of the Rohirrim." Thorin continued with the same disinterested tone of voice.

"Where did he get the gold coins in order to buy such an expensive horse?" Eilin frowned.

"He gave everything he owned and now he is working double shifts making arrows in order to pay for it. I was informed that last night after finishing his second shift, he went down to the third level in order to assist the masons restore a broken column at one of the main squares of Valgalir." Thorin continued neutrally.

Eilin's eyes filled with uncertainty. “Really?”

“Mmmmm…” Thorin pretended to be very focused at the horse while he gave her searching side-glances, which she didn't notice.

She cleared her throat and crossed her arms. "Okay. So…uhm…why are you training her then? Isn’t she ready to accept a rider?"

"She is not that tamed yet. I want to go over her several times before giving her to our Gem." Thorin rejoined and struck the whip once more.

"You are always trying to make things easy for Rhianaye. You are still spoiling her." Eilin's previously troubled face lines, softened.

He held the rope and the whip with the same hand and reached out to cover her lower belly with the other. "I will keep on spoiling her until you give me another girl." His fingers caressed her stomach gently.

She felt her back curling inwards and her heart erupting with warmth. Her hand came to cover his and she held it firmly. "You want me to believe that when Ida is born you will stop spoiling your precious Little Gem?" She raised her brow.

He pursed his lips. "Fair point. No I won't. I will spoil both of them rotten, instead."

Eilin laughed lightly and leaned her head on his shoulder again. "I seem to have chosen the father of my children very wisely." She said softly.

"That goes both ways." He returned the praise.

She cupped his cheek and looked up. Her features turned solemn and her fingers slid tenderly on his cheekbone. "Thorin I keep finding Daylilies wherever I go. In the Royal Dining room, in the central Royal plaza, in the common rooms, even in the archery training grounds entangled upon my bow. I know the mountainside is in full bloom now. Are you doing this?"

Thorin's lips touched her temple softly. "I wish I had the idea first, but no."

Eilin scrounged her lips and frowned. "Then who?"

"Maybe a secret admirer?"

Eilin's fingers caressed his bearded jawline gently and stayed pensively quiet.

He nudged her with his nose. "Is it my turn to be jealous?"

She scoffed. "Will you be? I love it when you are acting all jealous and possessive."

He shook his head. "Sure, bring me over the one who is claiming you and he shall not see the light of day again." He smirked.

She exhaled and stepped in front of him. Then she smoothed her palms over his cheeks and gazed at him solemnly. "Thorin I think that maybe these flowers are from my father."

He looked at her calmly for a few moments and then tilted his head. "That's possible."

Eilin started nibbling her bottom lip and looked away. "Okay so you don't think that idea is too far-fetched…"

Thorin smiled. "Not at all."

Eilin focused on an invisible spot above his shoulder. "I think he is trying to find a way to approach me."

"Well, you've been giving him the cold shoulder for almost a week now. I got word from Dain that he reached the Shire. Soon our children will start the journey back and you still haven't taken up enough courage to speak to him." His voice was somber.

"I don't know what to tell him." She murmured.

He twisted the rope around his hand and stopped the horse. Then he took a step closer and enfolded her in his arms. "You don't have to tell him anything. He is your father." He whispered and his lips slid upon hers so softly.

A shiver woke up on the back of her head that galloped down her spine. She exhaled upon his mouth and closed her eyes. Then she reciprocated his tender kiss before pulling back. "So I should just go to him then?"

He nodded.

"And say nothing…" She cringed.

Thorin pressed his lips. "Yes."

Her expression turned incredulous. "You are being serious."

"Indubitably. If you have nothing to tell him, then don't. Allow him to do all the talking." He winked at her.

"Allow him?" Eilin frowned.

"Or force him…" Thorin chuckled.

"Thorin…" She pouted.

He caressed her cheek with his palm. "Sometimes silence can prove strong enough to elicit answers. Be quiet and force him to cover the silence with his voice."

Eilin remained concentrated on him for several moments, before her serious expression melted in a soft smile. "If those flowers are indeed from my father, then how did he know which ones I like?"

"He took a wild guess?” -Thorin pursed his lips- “I mean the Mountain is full of them. They were probably the easiest choice." He rejoined casually.

"Did you tell him?" Eilin raised her brow.

"What a ludicrous idea. You know I hate the man's guts." Thorin rejoined dismissively.

Eilin smiled. "You have you own special ways of dealing with things. I don't know if I should believe you right now."

"You told me not to lie anymore." His gaze was penetrating.

"Yes, but you taught me that sometimes lies are a necessary evil in order to protect the ones we love. That's my lesson learned." Eilin said emphatically.

"That’s a good lesson." He smiled.

"So did you tell him about the flowers?" Eilin started playing with his beard braid.

"Don't coddle me it won't get you anywhere." Came another gentle scold.

"Oh, come on..." She pouted.

"Listen, I didn't tell him anything. Instead of trying to guess who talked about the flowers first establish it’s him giving them to you and not some horny warrior who stalks you down the long dark corridors." Thorin said pointedly.

"Are you trying to scare me?" She frowned.

He chuckled. "Well, things like that do happen."

Eilin exhaled annoyed, but the smile that spread on her lips was sincere. "I think maybe I should go find him."

Thorin inclined his head. "Good, he is probably at the armory."

She reached up and pecked his lips softly. "Okay, see you later."

As she made to leave he spoke again. "Before you leave remember that I am also a horny warrior."

She stopped and frowned back at him. "What?"

"Just informing you in case you want to take some action in order to alleviate my predicament." He raised his brow and was unable to hide the playful smile forming upon his lips.

Her fingers stroked the corner of his lips. "Look I know you are doing all this to make me feel better."

His eyes showered her with affection. "I am simply trying to earn my forgiveness."

She looked up quickly at that and her features clouded. "I need to go to him."

He propped his forehead on hers. "Go, everything will be okay."

She came on the tips of her toes and caressed his nose with hers. "Take care of our Gems horse."

"And you take care of my wife." His palm cupped her neck and his mouth captured hers tenderly.

She exhaled hard with a nod and pushed away from him. "I will." She walked a few steps and stopped. Then she offered him a loving glance above her shoulder that was not enough to alleviate the nervousness from her beautiful face and she hastened her pace.

Thorin remained behind, bemusing after her until her shadow got lost amidst the woods.

* * *

 

It took Eilin a long walk around the forest and a brooding break next to the waterfalls for her to come to a decision. She wrote her father a message and asked one of the guards to deliver it. Then she went to the stables to get her horse. The consequent ride up to Ravenhill turned out to be easy as the weather was absolutely beautiful. The sky was bright blue and the air pleasantly warm. However Eilin’s thoughts didn’t match the nature around her. She was brooding on the upcoming meeting with her father, which she would have rather avoided. She couldn’t deny though that Thorin was right. They had to face each other and sort things out especially now that her children were on their way back. The last thing she wanted was to involve her babies in this. She had to ensure they’d return to a calm environment and have the opportunity to get to know their grandfather under the best of circumstances.

Lost as she was in these thoughts she reached Ravenhill and dismounted next to the waterfall. Then she knelt down and remained there quietly observing the wild cascading waters and the soft breeze that was twisting through her hair. The absolute silence that reigned over the rebuild overlook, allowed her mind to drift and her emotions to calm down slowly. So when after a long time her father spoke, she didn’t feel surprised.  

"Eilin?"

She drew in a deep breath. "How come you not calling me my Lady, my Queen, your Majesty and all these other impressive titles?"

Othin pressed his lips and took a step forth. "They were too cold for what I feel in my heart for you, but if you wish me to use them then I shall."

Eilin sighed. “I like you to use my name.”

Othin bowed. “Alright Eilin.”

Eilin turned and observed his pale features. His green eyes, that were so similar to hers, looked tired beyond count. "You look exhausted."

Othin tried to avoid her fiery gaze, but then Thorin's wise words echoed inside his mind and he lifted his eyes bravely back to her. "I am putting in extra effort at work."

Eilin huffed. "You need more coins to pay for Rhianaye's horse, I know."

Othin nodded.

Eilin's brow twitched. "Thank for doing that for her."

"I learned that she is doing very well with her riding. I wanted to make her happy." Othin rejoined quietly.

"Unfortunately you have two more kids to satisfy now. This gift singles out Rhianaye and will cause a rift between your…." –She stumbled at those words- "…grandchildren."

A ripple of hesitant happiness climbed up Othin's spine and he found her eyes again with more courage. "I will get gifts for all of them and I will work as much as needed to pay for them."

"What you are doing is…" –She felt another vocal trip up- "very thoughtful and I appreciate it deeply."

"It’s my pleasure to offer everything I can to…." –His stumble was equally awkward- "…my grandkids since I failed to do that with you..."

Eilin looked back at the waterfall and tapped the spot next to her. "Wanna join me?"

"Thank you." Othin cleared his throat and hurried to sit.

Eilin returned her gaze at Erebor. "The view up here is breathtaking."

"Indeed." Othin murmured.

"Can you imagine this being the last thing you see before you die?" She murmured and her eyes watered.

He looked at her with a slight frown.

She felt her heart stopping for a moment. "This is where Thorin died…"

Othin remained silent.

"This is where he took his last breath…..this is the last thing he saw before he closed his eyes." She pointed at the Majestic Lonely Mountain.

Othin swallowed heavily.

Eilin exhaled noisily. "Why did you come?"

"Because you asked me to." There was no hesitation in his voice.

"After our last meeting I thought you wouldn't want to see me again." Her voice was hushed.

"What are you saying Eilin? I'd come to you whenever you called me." He frowned.

Their eyes locked and it was as if time froze. They sat quietly next to each other, father and daughter. Both with fiery red hair, but his were stained by the grey tint of time. Both with beautiful green eyes, but his gaze was washed-out, while hers was sharp and penetrating. He was at his dusk and she was at her peak, but they belonged to the same blood. The silence drew long between them and only the sound of the rolling waters was able to break it.

The first one who looked away was Eilin. "I am glad you came."

Othin's shoulders slouched and he exhaled a whole bout of relief. "I am glad you called me."

Eilin wrapped her arms around her knees. "I always believed that I would know exactly what to ask you when I met you…I was wrong."

"Maybe it isn’t you who must speak, but me." Othin rejoined calmly.

"You sound so different from when I first talked to you." Eilin frowned.

"What do you mean?" He seemed surprised.

"You look composed, calm, and not afraid. You don’t look ready to run away from me and you are looking at me straight in the eyes. I like that.” She murmured.

Othin's lips toyed with a smile. "You are my daughter….I want to get to know you and I cannot do that if I hide."

"Me neither …." She flicked her brow.

"You were hiding too then?" His eyes filled with sadness.

"Of course I did. Behind the mask of resentment." She said quietly.

"I see." He looked dejected.

Eilin swallowed heavily. "I want to know everything."

He looked at her intently.

She engaged his eyes. "I want to know what happened with Evelyn…tell me everything."

Othin exhaled and looked at the Lonely Mountain. When finally the words came out of his mouth, he was composed. "I came from a very strict family that followed the customs of our kin to the last rune. However I always felt different since I was a child. I grew up under the austere directives of my father, but the nonconformist in me was never silenced. So I grew up to become a rather feisty young man, who longed to experience love with as many women as possible. I was not a strong advocate of having a One. I was not the only one supporting these rebellious ideas of course. No matter how noble our kin is about its women…those notions are unrealistic for most men. Some men of our kin had trouble being loyal to their One and searched for love elsewhere. However Dwarrowdams are not known to have various lovers and they are much more willing to devote themselves to one man. So I couldn’t satisfy my needs through the women of our race and I began searching for happiness outside."

"Like in various hotels and taverns…" Eilin pressed her lips.

"Of every sort, yes. My father found out and that almost killed him. He kicked me out of our house and denounced me, so I chose to follow my own path free of any chains to my family. I am not proud of what I did Eilin. I know that my choices led me to destroy my life and almost destroy yours. Nevertheless during those early years I couldn't think how badly my actions were going to affect other people. I only wanted to have fun…" Othin's voice became quieter.

"That is how you met Evelyn?" Eilin frowned.

"No, not during the years I lived in Erebor. During that time I tried to prove myself worthy to my friends and made serious efforts to gain a position in the Royal Guards. When I finally got in, I decided to denounce the life of decadence in order to devote myself to protecting King Thrór. However that didn’t last long. I was still trying to find opportunities to run away and get some fun in Dale, but I never travelled further away from that."

"Dale? That is very surprising." Eilin's brows creased.

"Wherever there are men….of all races…there is a market for paid pleasure. I am embarrassed to say such words to you, but they are true." Othin averted his eyes.

Eilin pursed her lips. "I was raised in a brothel. Don’t worry. I am not skirmish."

Othin gave her a weary look.

"Go on." She urged him.

He inhaled deeply and continued. "I met your mother after I deserted my kin when the Dragon burned our Kingdom and send us in exile. I was going back and forth, from East to West and from North to South trying to find a place to stay. I sought work in every Dwarfish city, but that never lasted long. You see my need to have" –He stumbled- "Fun…was always so intense it forced me to seek company in the human taverns. I found Evelyn in a brothel one frozen winter night and there was no turning back for me."

Eilin stomach twisted and a wave of nausea overpowered her.

"She was the most beautiful woman I have ever met. Tall…far taller than the other women who worked with her, with long chestnut curls and eyes of the most penetrative black I have ever seen. From the first moment I looked at her my heart was hers …" He hesitated.

Eilin smiled sadly. "I know that feeling."

"She was different from all the other women I had been with. This time it was not so easy to leave her, I didn't want to say goodbye when my time was over. I wanted to remain with her all the time and that scared me. I went to other taverns, tried to forget her, but in the end I always came back ready to offer her my heart and every coin I owned upon a silver platter." Othin continued with a reminiscent tone.

"I understand." Eilin nodded.

"I loved your mother, Eilin. I loved her profoundly, she just …didn't….she never…." He wavered.

"Loved you back." Eilin murmured.

He exhaled roughly. "She fell pregnant by mistake, I admit that…"

Eilin stiffened.

"But the moment I learned, I wanted us to keep the baby and get married." -Othin added quickly- "I got three jobs at once and I gave a down payment for a small cottage at the edge of Bree for us to stay. People were kind there, they wouldn't judge our mixed family. I didn't want to return to my kin, because they are much harder to accept such ideas…." –He looked at her hard- "At least they were hard in the past. Now everything is different …."

"Yes it is." Eilin smiled.

Othin tilted his head. "I brought Evelyn home and promised her a good life. I tried to please her, tried to make her happy and I took great care of her throughout her pregnancy, but she was too demanding. She was used to being treated like a Queen you see, because of her stunning beauty. Many customers were showering her with expensive gifts, clothes, gold, jewelry…and now she had none of that. She was also unable to work because of her pregnancy. All that took a toll on her and she became very…difficult. Almost hateful towards me." Othin found it hard to express his thoughts.

"Pregnancy is never easy on a woman. She needed all the support she could get." Eilin rejoined.

"I was offering everything I could, but Evelyn was not used to a bed made of straws and a simple cauldron over a broken fireplace. She wanted a kind of luxury I couldn't offer as long as I stayed away from my kin. She asked me to go with her at one of the rich Dwarfish cities and ask for work there, but I told her that was impossible. No one would ever accept a human woman in their midst. More so a woman who used to work as a prostitute and wished to marry a Dwarf and carry his child to term. All the Dwarrowdams would shun her, all the men would look at her with disgust. Our kin during those times was locked to outsiders, too unwilling to accept new ideas."

Eilin swallowed heavily. “Maybe you didn’t try hard enough. Our kin accepted me as their Queen.”

He raised his hand to forestall her. "Don’t compare your situation to ours Eilin please. You had the support of the man who shapes the very laws of our kin. You had the King standing next to you. I was nobody…the comparison is unfair."

Eilin pressed her lips and nodded softly.

"So we remained at that neglected cottage and while her pregnancy progressed I made serious attempts to fix things for her, but nothing I ever did was enough. When she finally gave birth and she saw your fiery red hair and your small body, she fell silent. There was nothing on you that reminded her of herself. On the contrary she saw everything that reminded her of me…and she had nine months to learn how despise me deeply for destroying her promising carrier, so she projected that hate onto you. She had lost so many rich customers because of me and you. Her dream was not to stay in a ruined cottage to raise a crying baby with a poor Dwarf. She dreamt a greatness that I was unable to offer her. The kind of greatness which her daughter finally achieved, ironic as it may seem." Othin's voice became darker by the moment.

"She told you all those things?" Eilin's eyes were pooling with tears.

"Many times, but I always believed I would be able to turn her head around with enough patience, love and devotion. I was mistaken." Othin frowned.

Eilin nodded. "So she left you."

"In the middle of one stormy night, taking you along with her. I suppose she didn't want to leave you with me, because then she knew I would always come back for her…with you alongside of me. She wanted to break her chains to me. She wanted to get away from both of us and pursue her dreams….so that is what she did. She abandoned you at the Forsaken Inn and got lost." Othin murmured defeated.

"Do you know what became of her?" Eilin looked at him solemnly.

"I learned that she died, but I am unaware of the circumstances." Othin raised his eyes at her.

Eilin's lips turned down. "What did you do?"

"When I realized what she did, I turned the world upside down in order to find you and her but my efforts were to no avail." Othin's voice turned harder.

Eilin's brow clouded.

"As the months rolled by and I was unable to find a trace of you I fell into deep sadness and almost withered away. Contrary to what you may think I never stopped searching for you…ever. However she had many allies in the underworld and she changed names and occupations quickly. As for finding you, that was impossible. There were hundreds of lost and abandoned babies of fiery red hair… too many to tackle. What I didn't know was that Evelyn took along with her the baby belt I had made for you…the one that had Telchar's rune carved inside. The family that raised you in the Forsaken Inn couldn’t understand the value of that belt. As for me…I had forgotten I ever made it, much less that Evelyn took it with her…or that she had wrapped you with it when she left you at that door. After years of searching I finally gave up hope to finding you and I gave up hope on life. I sold the small property I owned and got lost in the wild. I never returned to my kin and never stepped foot in human villages ever again. I ate what I hunted and slept wherever I could. I wanted nothing to do with humanity anymore…because it had betrayed me so cruelly. The human race had stolen away my baby girl…there was nothing left for me anymore." Othin crossed his hands in front of him and looked at the waterfalls.

Eilin wiped a tear from her cheek.

"For years it was easier for me to think you were dead along with your mother, than think that you were somewhere alive and I was unable to get to you. So I resigned to that idea. When ages later I learned that the Queen of the North, the wife of Thorin Oakenshield King of the Seven Clans, was a half-blood of fiery red hair and a beauty unmatched who was a descendant of Telchar, I felt my world imploding. It took me weeks to come around and even longer to travel to Erebor. It was impossible to believe that not only you were alive, but you had become the mighty Queen of our kin. I travelled long to come to the Lonely Mountain and I stayed in Dale for several months trying to gather more information. When I learned about your baby belt and the secret carved runes inside I fainted and managed to get back on my feet after a fortnight. That is when I gathered my ruins and crawled into the golden city to meet you for the first time." Othin lifted his weary head and looked at her.

"That was the day you asked for an audience from the King."

Othin reached out and clasped her hand tightly. "I wanted to reveal myself to you. I wanted to draw Telchar’s runes and prove my identity. I wanted to see the baby belt with my own eyes. I wanted to make sure that you were my red-headed baby girl and that you were alive. Then I wanted to shout at Evelyn that her daughter managed to do what she had failed to accomplish. She had become the first Lady of our kin. When I walked in the Throne Room and I saw you standing next to the King, I knew immediately that you were my daughter. You had my hair and my eyes, but above all Eilin….you had…you had…"

Eilin pressed his hand, urging him on. "What?"

"You had her breathtaking beauty. You were Evelyn reborn…." Othin's lips toyed with a smile and two tears rolled down his cheeks.

Eilin felt frozen inside out.

"It was as if I was looking at your mother, but you were adorned by my colors. The moment you tried to approach me ….I faltered and acted like the usual coward I always was. Instead of standing my ground and telling you who I was, I run away….as fast I could before you could ask me all the questions that I was afraid to answer. I run away in order not to face you even though the only thing I wanted to do was hug you so tight you’d never leave me again." Othin sniffled.

"And you hid in Mirkwood." Eilin's voice was barely heard.

"I found you again after so many years, it was impossible to leave you again. I may have been too cowardly to face you, but I wanted to be close to you. Therefore I lingered in the shadows, practically stalking you and your babies…..stealing a little bit of your happiness each time I saw you. I was so proud that you had managed to overcome all the hardships. You my pretty girl, had managed to accomplish what your mother and I had failed to do. You were part of a loving family." Othin's lips toyed with a smile.

Eilin inhaled deeply. "Did you ever intend to reveal yourself or was hiding easier?"

Othin removed his hands from hers and looked at the horizon again. "No, I didn't. Hiding was easier." He shook his head.

Eilin's heart fell. "So Thorin was right."

"Yes he was." -Othin's sincerity made her look up sharply- "I never intended to come forth. I wanted to observe you from a distance. Much safer right? Much less demanding. I don't know if I am as weak willed as your mom was. Hadn't it been for fate bringing Durin in my path and subsequently your husband I would still be hiding from you. I am ashamed to admit that I didn't have the guts to face you. When Balin recognized me I knew that everything was over. When your husband faced me there was no turning back. Despite the King’s roughness, it was his determination that forced me to come forth. It was his decision that allowed me to have a second chance with you. He could have gotten rid of me easily and none would have been the wiser, but despite his hatred he brought me back to Erebor and gave the opportunity to right my wrongs with you. I am here with you now because of him. King Thorin may be cruel sometimes, but his heart is in the right place and he'd do everything for you. Even things he hates...like approach me." Othin's smile was bitter.

Eilin's face was streaming with tears. "I know." She stammered.

He reached out and touched her hand lightly once more. Eilin felt a shudder rushing through his body. "I am glad he did so and that I am here with you now. Is it too soon to ask you to forgive me for missing from your life all these years?"

"I don't need apologies. I need us to get to know each other. Nothing more and nothing less." Eilin murmured.

Othin's eyes surged with tears. "That is such a modest request, but so real."

Eilin swallowed heavily. "If reality was anything like my dreams, then right about now would be the moment I’d embrace you and tell you that I love you."

"But reality is much harder than dreams, right?" Othin smiled softly at her.

She pressed his hand. "Yes."

Othin settled back. "Just so you know Eilin, I am not here because of your gold…I don’t care about riches, I never did."

Eilin looked at him gravely.

"I am here to right my wrongs and make up for the lost time….if you feel I am worthy for a second chance that is." Othin's eyes were searching upon hers.

"I’d like that a lot." She murmured and dried her cheeks.

"Just being here next to you is all I need. Just knowing that you are alive is more than enough. I can remain invisible to you as long as I am honored to be able to watch you grow and evolve. I require nothing more than that." Othin's was barely heard.

Eilin turned to him with a deep scowl. "But I require a lot more from you."

Othin's eyes got diminished by the fire in hers.

"I want you to be active in my life and in the life of your grandchildren who seem to have taken such a great liking for you."

"I will be here for all of you." Othin whispered feeling overcome.

Eilin's eyes teared up at that, but she remained silent. Equally silent he was too and when after a while they decided to speak, they did so simultaneously.

"That scar on your brow…" He said.

"The flowers you left for me…." She spoke over him.

They stopped and looked at each other. Eilin huffed and looked away and Othin smiled at his hands.

"You go first." He said.

She smiled. "The flowers I kept finding, they were from you, right?"

He nodded. "Yes."

"How did you know they are the ones I like the most?" Eilin found his eyes.

He shrugged and looked at his boots.

She grasped his shoulder and drew him to her. "Oh, come on. Don't turn all shy on me again. Who told you?"

Othin's eyes met hers. "An unexpected ally."

Eilin's mouth twitched with the prologue of a smile. She didn't need any more explanations. She knew exactly who told Othin. "Thank you for making an effort."

He reached up and cupped her hand. "Thank you for not running away from me again."

Eilin gazed darted hungrily across her father's handsome features and the smile spread on her lips.

"That scar on your forehead, it looks awful" –Othin's face twisted nervously- "I heard what you said at the gates. You were attacked?"

Eilin's brow surged with shadows. She didn't know if she wanted to reveal to her father that she run away from the Shire in order to go to the Forsaken Inn to gather information about Evelyn. Even less did she feel the need to relate to him what happened when she got abducted and by whom. So she settled back and gave his hand a quick reassuring squeeze. "Just a skirmish. The Ash Mountains are growing more vengeful with each passing week. Rogue groups of Orcs attack unwary travelers all the time." The fact that she was lying to protect him from being hurt was not lost in her.

Othin observed her carefully for several moments. "Did they hurt you bad?"

"Don't worry….I had the best bodyguard Of Middle Earth on my side." Her smile was so honest it echoed in her eyes.

Othin pressed his lips. "Does it hurt you now?" He reached up to touch the scar on her forehead gently.

She drew back slightly. "I am fine…" She murmured with an awkward smile.

She was not used to discussing so quietly with her father and it felt even weirder seeing him worry about her well-being.

"I am sorry…I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable." Othin looked at his boots embarrassed.

"No, you made me feel well taken care off." She muttered shyly.

His smiled was timid at those words.

"If you need to go back to work, it's okay by me. Don't let me keep you." Eilin threw him a quick searching glance.

"I want to stay here if that's alright by you." He rejoined quickly.

Eilin's lips formed a faded smile. "I’d like that." She whispered.

They both fell silent and neither tried to break that numb serenity as Thorin's crows soared the skies above them. They just sat next to each other for the first time in years….like father and daughter. Not truly together, but not apart either and for that Eilin was more than grateful.

As for the fear she had felt before seeing her father again or the fury she experienced towards him the last time they met…that was nowhere to be felt…..

* * *

 

Dwalin's fist fell hard on Thorin’s face, forcing him to cover his nose with an angry groan of protest. The pain spread up to his forehead like wildfire and his eyes teared up. When he pulled his hand away, his palm was full of blood. He straightened and turned to his best friend who was smirking smugly.

"You never let your guard down during a combat. That was a big folly. You are becoming old and weak." Dwalin dropped the axe between his spread legs.

Thorin spat blood at the ground and wiped his bloody nose with the back of his hand. "Two hundred years is hardly old. I am at the peak of my virility your corroded fossil!"

"Well, you have a long way to go in order to surpass your father and grandfather. I am not sure you are up to the task. Maybe it is time for you to retire." Dwalin teased.

Thorin balanced his war hammer in his palm. "Durin is too young to take over."

"Give the rule up to Fili. He'll do a better job at it than you do now. Look at you….you are becoming too easily accessible to foes. You got sliced by those Orcs and you are solely lucky Eilin stepped in to save your sorry behind. What is more you cannot hold your own against me. What's going on with you?" Dwalin sounded rather disturbed.

Thorin spat another large dollop of blood on the ground and nodded towards the High Road. "Look at them."

Dwalin frowned and turned around. "Ah…so this absent-mindless is not you going senile. That makes sense."

Thorin's eyes focused on Eilin who was walking calmly towards Erebor with Othin next to her. He tried to discern any signs of distress, but there were none. Actually they both seemed rather composed and their countenances were pleasant. They looked like there were having some amicable conversation.

Dwalin noticed the same thing. "They seem to be getting along."

"Hmmm…" Thorin grunted.

"You don't seem happy." Dwalin noticed.

"I am just weary, that's all." Thorin's piercing azure eyes followed them closely.

"Well at least they look much better than they did last week." Dwalin twisted his mouth.

"The Daylilies did the trick." Thorin murmured and a ghostly smile appeared on his well-formed lips.

"The what?" Dwalin scowled.

That is when Thorin's elbow connected with Dwalin’s mouth and send him kneeling to the ground with a river of blood gushing from his torn lips. "Daylilies. They are all over the mountain side." Thorin stretched his neck and swung his formidably thick wrist straight on Dwalin's nose making him crush to the ground once more with a grunt of anger.

"Stop it!" Dwalin shouted.

Thorin loomed over him and pushed him to a prone position with the handle of his war hammer. Then he observed him clinically for a few moments. "Oh your face is a mess….you should never let your guard down during a combat."

Dwalin touched the bridge of his nose and howled. "If you broke it I am going to mess you up bad. We weren’t in a combat. We were conversing."

"That’s not an excuse. You must always be in the ready. You are becoming old and weak.” Thorin smirked.

Dwalin grunted and tried to push himself up. "I am going to get you for this."

"How come did you allow a two hundred year old relic to kick your ass so bad?" Thorin lifted the hammer with a devilish smirk and got in the ready.

“Oh, you are asking for it!” Dwalin swung his formidable axe, which got parried by Thorin's hammer. "Better tell the guards to notify Eilin! She will need to nurse you back to health after this!" Dwalin shouted.

Thorin harked and they both engaged in a fierce fight that drew the attention of every soldier in the field. Soon enough a large circle formed around the King and his bodyguard that cheered them both on with animalistic battle cries. Something that resulted in more adrenaline rushing through the blood of both and the combat becoming even more ferocious.

In the end, none was the victor because they both withdrew from each other rather bloody and exhausted while the crowd erupted in heated exclamations. Dwalin used his axe as a temporary crutch to limp back to the middle of the field in order to get something to drink. Thorin dropped his war hammer on his shoulder and even though everyone asked him to join them for a drink he walked away feeling satisfied from this testosterone explosion that only Dwalin and Dain could withstand from him …

He walked back to Erebor, feeling drained from having delivered quite a thrashing, from getting thoroughly beaten up and feeling methodically cleansed. He pushed back the obvious concern of the guards at his bloody state and ignored the terrified looks of the Dwarrowdams who happened to cross paths with him. He was happy enough to have had such a productive afternoon and that Eilin had managed to have an apparently civilized conversation with her father.

Seeing her so peaceful was like a tourniquet for his heart. Thorin didn’t feel ashamed to admit that he was in so much need for some peace of mind after everything they had gone through. He yearned to enjoy Eilin's pregnancy in a serene and loving environment for the first time in forever. Even though this was his fourth child, he had never fully enjoyed a single pregnancy of hers. When Eilin fell for the twins they broke up under the worst circumstances. When she was pregnant on Thrárin he was mostly away on military campaigns in Ered Mithrin and he didn't even get a chance to see his son born. This time, he needed for everything to be as peaceful as possible and he yearned to have his wife enjoy it as wholesomely too. He didn't want Eilin to be consumed by her bitterness of the past. He wished that she'd forgive his stupid attack to her father and that she would make an attempt to reconcile with whatever remained of her past. He wanted her to return to the present with him and their family and today he witnessed a small glimpse of that possibility when he saw her walking calmly next to her father.

With these thoughts Thorin discarded his bloody war-hammer at the hands of a guard and soon found himself inside the burial vaults of his ancestors. He remained down there for a rather long time, tending to the grave of Kili and Thrór as etiquette ordered, while brooding at the forever empty grave of Thrain. First he cleaned them with fresh water from the well and allowed the dirty water to circle down the drains. Then he took care to wipe them dry, before kneeling down to pray at Mahal for the soul of his family. When he finished he retreated to the circular benches that went all around the silent cavern and sat there quietly with his eyes closed until the bells tolled the first call of the night without realizing that he had dozed off. When Eilin's soft fingers touched the bruise on his cheekbone he inhaled deeply and opened his eyes confused.

"Hi handsome." Her face was floating so close to him.

He sighed and closed his eyes again. "Hi beautiful."

Her fingers feathered on his torn lip and she frowned. "Who messed you up this bad?"

"Dwalin." Thorin snorted and his hand reached out to circle around hers.

Her features softened by degrees and she pulled close a basin of clean water. "Well, from what I saw you messed him up real bad too. He was limping, one eye was completely shut and his nose is definitely broken. Lord Oin said so." She dipped a cloth in the water and then tapped his torn lips gently with it.

He hissed lightly. "We just had a bit of fun."

She smiled and cleaned around his wound carefully. "I will never be able to understand you. How can you call this mess –a bit of fun-? You both ended up bloody beyond repair."

He chuckled and his fingers stroked her hand gently. "We need to release some tension from time to time, Eilin."

"You resemble lions that are fighting for territory." Eilin rejoined.

"Good analogy. I suppose we are fighting for territory." Thorin closed his eyes when the cloth touched him under the eye were there was another deep gash.

"What territory is Dwalin fighting you for? You are the undisputable King of the North. The Master of the Seven Clans and all the Dwarfish cities of Middle Earth. You are the King who is sitting under the Arkenstone. Your rule is equal to, if not greater to that of Durin's." Eilin said as she cleaned carefully his torn skin.

"That is an insult to our great forefather." He frowned.

"Well, he's got an opportunity to do better than you in the future, doesn't he?" Eilin smirked.

Thorin's azure eyes looked at her lovingly. "I am certain that our son is destined to do great things indeed."

She dipped the cloth in the water and then returned to wipe the fresh blood that appeared on the side of his lower lip. "I know he is."

Thorin closed his eyes with a satisfied smile. "How did you find me?"

"I know you well enough after all these years. There is a handful of places you go when you wish to disappear from the world. This is one of them." -She said and with a final gentle tap she dropped the cloth in the bowl and cupped his cheeks- “Now this looks so much better.”

His arm wrapped behind her waist and he pulled her close until her lips touched his gently. His kiss to her was so tender and slow that when she pulled back she was bereft of breath. “Thank you.” He whispered.

Her hands caressed his bearded jawline softly. "You came here to tend the graves?"

"And pray." Thorin caressed her nose with his.

"That is so sweet." She smiled.

"Which I failed to do." He frowned.

Her brows creased. “Why?”

"While I was praying to Mahal for the souls of my kin, I began pining for that night by the river with you." His eyes seared through hers.

"Oh no, you didn’t." She snorted.

He pulled her until she sat next to him. Then he offered her his palm. "Even though I tried hard to concentrate on my prayers, the only thing that kept coming to my mind was the night I saw you struggling inside that small boat as you tried to bring up Bofur's fishing nets, remember?"

Eilin stippled her fingers through his. "How can I forget the night I made myself a fool in front of the most handsome King of Middle Earth?"

His mouth formed a sweet smile and his other hand came out to rest on her stomach. "You cussing those fishing nets was probably the cutest thing I had seen in years. My heart came alive after years of being dead that night with you."

Eilin's covered his hand that was resting on her belly. "I honestly don’t remember how I managed to go through that night without collapsing on you."

He closed his eyes and his smile was resonant. "You liked me, didn't you?"

"I was dreaming of you long before I met you…what do you think?" Eilin observed his calm features and felt her stomach warming up.

He turned and offered her an affectionate stare that made her melt inside.

"How about you then? Did you like me or did you find me utterly awkward?" She nudged him.

"I always found you awkward, but that was part of your allure. I made a serious effort to woo you away from Bofur that night, I admit it. From the moment I saw you dancing for him I felt a stifling longing for you and I knew I had to reach you first. I couldn't let him have you." Thorin said quietly.

Eilin's cheek blushed and she leaned her head on his shoulder. "Have you ever regretted your decision to be with me?"

"Never." His hand squeezed hers tightly.

She released a deep sigh of relief and closed her eyes.

"You?" He caressed her belly gently.

"Never." She whispered.

"Even though I mistreated your father so bad….even though I lied to you on multiple occasions, even though we went through hell not once but many times over? Even though we argue often….even though…"

Her finger came up to close his lips. "Even through all that….I never regretted being with you….not once…not ever."

"So I suppose you have reached a decision about my final judgment?" He whispered and kissed the ball of her finger.

She nodded. "Yes."

He straightened and cupped her cheek. "And?" His voice was slightly coarse.

She opened her beautiful green eyes and looked at him so intensely that he felt his heart melting. "You are sentenced to remain by my side until we both perish under the merciless weight of time.”

His thump ghosted the side of her mouth and he leaned his forehead on hers. "That is the most adorable sentencing of my life."

Her lips kissed his thumb. "You made me so angry and so sad with what you did to my father." She whispered.

"Forgive me." His voice was barely heard.

"I already have…" She murmured and another soft peck touched his lips along with his heart.

"You talked with Othin." He felt easier to breathe after those words.

"Yes." Her fingers feathered over the thick veins of his hand.

"And?" He nudged her temple with his nose.

She snuggled under his chin and began playing with his long beard-braid. "He didn't have the answers I wished for, but he told me his side of the story."

"You hated it?" He whispered.

"I didn't like it, but I have to learn how to accept the truth no matter how much it bothers me. Evelyn never wanted me. I was never important to her and he was never important to her either…that’s the reality." Eilin's voice dropped defeated.

"I don't know how your mother felt for you Eilin, but you are everything to me. You are everything to our children, to our family, to our friends and to our people. You are my One, my only One, my most precious gem, my most coveted treasure. You are the heart of my heart. Without you I have no life. Is that enough to balance out Evelyn's indifference?" His eyes teared up as he spoke those words.

Eilin looked up to him with such devotion that his heart broke apart. "Oh, yes it is…" She whispered eagerly.

He closed his eyes and captured her mouth with a kiss that made her heart open up like a star and her head to swim in rapture. When he drew back she was looking at him dazed. "We are all here for you. Let the past rest in peace, please."

Eilin pulled him down with fervor and crushed her cheek to his. "That is all I want to do. Will you help me?"

He wrapped his arms around her and drew her in a fierce hug. "I will do anything you wish of me. Just ask me."

Eilin's hands clutched his back tightly and she smiled even though her face was full of tears. "I felt nice talking with Othin today, even though he didn’t tell me what I wanted to hear. However it took a lot of effort for me not to run away again.” Eilin admitted.

Thorin nodded and kissed her exposed collarbone. "And it will take even more effort than that in the future, but there will come a day were you shall both find peace with each other."

"You think so?" She sounded uncertain.

"I do. He seems like a decent fellow." Thorin's long fingers caressed her hair gently.

"Even though he was a traitor to your family?" She tried.

"Not everyone is made to be a warrior and not all of us are able to go through hardships willingly." Thorin said quietly.

"Yet you did." She murmured.

He felt his back exploding with goosebumps. "If I wasn't the heir of Durin would have I done so, or would have I chosen to seek freedom like your father did?"

"Look I appreciate that you are trying to excuse him, but that is not who you are, wolf. You never run away from a fight." Eilin looked up at him and the pride was clear in her eyes.

He cupped her cheek and pecked her lips. "No, I don't."

She inhaled deeply. "So how come you are giving Othin such leeway all of a sudden?"

"Because I can see how much all this means to you." He pressed his lips.

At the end of her exhalation a comforted smile appeared in her mouth. "Even though you are a complete brute sometimes, you still have a heart of gold."

"Only for you." His thumb traced her jawline while his eyes adored her face.

"Not only for me" -She beamed- "For our children, our family, our friends, our kin….even for the ones you dislike, like Othin."

"It hasn't been easy for us Eilin, has it?" He frowned.

"No, but then again nothing worthwhile is ever easy. I love you more than anything and I am here for good so you better get that through your thick skull. I cannot live without you, my King Thorin." She said quietly and her eyes pierced his.

His smile lit up his whole face. "Me too my treasure."

"Nevertheless I admit that you Sir, are a very difficult man." Her smile was playful.

"And what makes you think you are easy?" He raised his brow.

She snorted and tilted her head. "Fair enough. Maybe that is why it never gets boring between us."

His face fell and his gaze became solemn. "I may sound weak at this moment Eilin, but I hate it when we fight. I wouldn’t mind a bit of boring between us."

"Me too. Can we have a bit of boring?" Her red lips pouted.

"We can try to bore ourselves to death…how about that?" His lips honored her cheek with a dozen kisses.

She pressed his hand and closed her eyes, delighting on his loving touch. "It’s a deal my love." She murmured.

He enfolded her close to his heart and she stayed there allowing his immense presence to soothe her spirit. When her inner voices became too loud again she decided to share them with him. "Thorin?" She tickled his wrist.

"Mmmm?"

"I don't see Othin as my father, but rather like a distant relation that I just met. Do you think that is wrong?" Eilin's voice was barely heard.

"No, because I don't think he feels like a father either. Don't expect your feelings for him to evolve overnight. You both need to invest a lot of patience and work in this relationship. You have to get to know each other and that is a long process my treasure." He explained calmly.

She faltered for several moments before speaking with a hushed tone. “He told me that he didn’t intent to come forth. You were right Thorin. He wanted to hide in Mirkwood. It was Durin that forced him out of his hiding place and you who brought him to Erebor.”

“Did he regret it?” Came the quiet question.

“He said he feels gratitude for what happened….he feels indebted to you.” Eilin murmured.

“Then he is wiser than I thought.” Thorin smiled.

"Can you ever forgive me for being such a bitch to you?" She pressed his hand.

He raised his brow. "What’s that for now?"

"I don't even remember how many times I slapped you and I cannot even recall what nastiness spilled out if my mouth that day in the Shire." She sniffled.

His warm lips smoothed over her jawline. "I deserved everything you did to me and everything you told me."

She sighed and leaned her head on his collarbone. "Is it true that what you did to my rapist might compromise your earned place in Mahal's halls?"

He scowled. "Who told you that?"

"Dwalin."

He inhaled deeply and drew her on him tightly. "Well, possibly."

"I am so sorry…" She whispered.

"Eilin I won't pine on what my life after death is going to be like when I am blessed to live now with you and our children. That would be ungrateful. I don't care about Mahal's Halls. I only care about you and our family…here and now." The honesty in his eyes touched her deeply.

She took his hand and pressed it on her belly. "Me too."

"You know what I wish for now apart from a bit of boredom?” He smiled.

“What?”

“To enjoy your pregnancy without any more worries." His eyes watered.

She frowned and cupped his cheeks. "Oh, my heart."

"With the twins we broke up, with Thrárin I was away….I just need to enjoy this from start to finish with you." He squeezed her hand tightly.

She felt her heart twitching and wiped away a stray tear that rolled down his cheek. "I promise we will my love. We shall enjoy it to the fullest." She smiled brightly.

He allowed her to draw him in her arms and kissed her neck. Then he enfolded her tightly. "Thank you…" He murmured and delighted both in her words and at the smooth sensation of her fingers running through his thick mane.

“And thank you for tipping my dad about the Daylilies.” Eilin whispered after a long drawn silence.

Thorin felt his heart coming alive and he hugged her tightly. Then he laughed and pressed his lips on her shoulder without uttering a single word.

 

 


	52. New opportunities

 

Eilin stood under the impressive gates and observed Othin carrying an enormous bundle of logs on his back. He was part of a huge line of soldiers and volunteers that were bringing in fire wood in order to prepare for the winter. It had been almost a week since she managed to have that relatively civilized conversation with him and in between she sought his company more often than she had been expecting.

Sometimes it was just to check on him at work, other times she knocked on the door of his home in order to bring him something to eat. At a couple of opportunities she offered to help him tidy up his rooms, which looked like a battle field. Twice he refused the food offered the third time he accepted. The fourth he asked her to join him for dinner and she did so, knowing that Thorin wouldn't mind that she was letting him eat alone. Twice did Othin refuse Eilin's help to tidy his apartments, the third time he accepted and tried to help her to his best ability. Eilin asked Rhiannon's help and the three of them managed to create a rather homey and warm living space for Othin, which she made him promise to upkeep.

Every single time though she approached him and any excuse she used was in order to talk with him. The more time Eilin spend with her father, the calmer she felt and that was mirrored in her attitude towards everyone, including her husband. For that Thorin felt more than grateful and never once did he attempt to stop her from seeking time with Othin instead of staying with him. So this morning after she took Thorin a hefty plate of eggs and ham for breakfast in his office and kissed him, she rushed out to find Othin. There wasn't a specific thing that she wanted to tell him today, she just yearned to see him and spend a few moments together if possible. Just check on his well-being and make sure he had eaten breakfast before going to work was enough for her.

So when she saw him bend over with such a big load on his back she felt her heart falling and she hurried over. "Hey!"

Othin looked up panting and a smile formed on his lips. "Hi Eilin. How are you this morning dear girl?"

"I am feeling rather lively. Didn't wake up with any nausea. I think that part of my pregnancy is finally fading away….thank heaven." She blushed.

Othin seemed pleased with the news. "I am so happy you are feeling much better dear."

Eilin crossed her hands behind her back and aligned to his slow pace. "I thought you'd be in the armory. What are you doing out here?"

"Volunteering. We need as many men available as possible to store wood for the cold days. I still remember how harsh the winter is here in the North. We used to do the same thing under King Thrór. Store as much wood and hunt as possible during the summer, before the gates sealed during the harsh winter. The Mountain was always able to keep us safe from the harsh elements of nature and the volcano that runs inside its bowels is masterfully manipulated to fire up the huge furnaces, but there are several residential areas that still need wood to warm up during the cold days." Othin explained.

"I know all that, I was just asking why you felt the need to volunteer. This job isn't going to pay you any money." Eilin said.

Othin stopped and tried to straighten some logs on his back that were slipping away. "I want to feel useful Eilin." He gazed at her with a sincerity she couldn't overlook.

She hurried to help him fix the logs. "You really don't have to do all this."

Othin grunted and looked above his shoulder. "No, you don't understand. I do have to do this...for you. I am tired of hiding in the darkness and letting everyone else do the hard work. I want to step up for once."

Eilin took two logs and cradled them in her arms like a baby. "Are you trying to prove something by breaking your back? You are too old to carry such a weight."

Othin looked at the logs she took from him. "I am not as old as you think. Now put them back on me."

"No, I want to help." Eilin frowned.

"You are pregnant. You are not allowed to carry any weight." This was the first time his voice was assertive.

"I am not made out of glass, you know." Eilin raised her brow.

"Don't be stubborn and do as I am telling you." Othin scowled.

Eilin humphed and pursed her lips. "I really dislike the way you are acting right now."

"Well I am trying to act like a father. Someone told me that children hate that, right?" A playful smile toyed upon Othin's lips.

Those words were enough to soften Eilin's features. A small laugh adorned the end of her exhalation. "Right…" she whispered defeated.

"Now young lady do me a favor and put these two logs back on me, before I call King Thorin on you." Othin raised his brow.

"And you think that's enough to scare me?" Eilin reciprocated his expression with one of her own.

"Yes I do. The man you married is absolutely intimidating!" Othin was unable to keep a straight face upon those words.

"What a way to talk about your son-in-law." Eilin laughed.

"My scary son-in-law. Now give me those logs!" Othin rejoined.

Eilin sighed and gazed at him. "We make a deal. I give you one log and I carry the other one. Then I will escort you inside and when you finish we are going to share a bowl of vegetable soup I just cooked. How about that?"

Othin's lips curled up in a sweet smile. "You know you have your mother's stubbornness."

Eilin's countenance plunged at that.

Othin noticed and nudged her with his elbow. "Come on we don't want to stay too far behind."

Eilin nodded. "Was she indeed stubborn?"

"More than you can imagine. She was dead set about every single thing and was difficult to turn around once she had made up her mind. She was a hot-headed woman, but I will never deny that I fell for her very hard and I don't regret it. However I am sorry for making you feel uncomfortable by reminding you of her." He said after a small silence that lingered heavy between them.

Eilin offered him a small smile. "Look I really need to make peace with Evelyn eventually. It's okay, really. I want to learn more about her and you."

Othin observed her closely. "I can tell you one thing. If I could turn back time I'd change everything."

"You would have chosen not to be with Evelyn then? Not to have a baby?" Eilin's eyes burrowed in his with a need that was hair raising.

Othin's brow clouded. "What are you thinking?! I never regretted having you, my girl. You came as a blessing for me. When you first came out of your mother's womb and I saw your red tuff of hair, your half-closed eyes and your wrinkly skin I fell deeply in love. When I heard you crying out like a little kitty I felt my heart surging with love for you. I would have never changed Evelyn's pregnancy for anything in the world, but I would have changed by attitude towards her afterwards."

Eilin frowned.

He swallowed heavily and reached out to grasp her hand. "I wouldn't have tried so hard to create a family with her. I wouldn't have tried to tie her down to our home. I should have taken better care of you when I understood that all she wanted to do was leave. I shouldn't have allowed her to steal you from me and disappear. I should have left with you first. Unfortunately though I cannot change the past. Forgive me for not being brave enough to take you away when I had the chance. Forgive me for allowing her to run away with you instead." His voice was diminished.

Eilin pressed his hand. "I know you are and I am sorry too, but there is no point dwelling in the past. Let's try to do the best we can from now on, okay?"

Othin's features mellowed and a sweet smile brightened his lips. "Alright my little girl."

"You said that you always volunteered like this in the past?" Eilin followed him inside the gates.

"Indeed." Othin nodded.

"But you belonged to the Royal Guards. I thought this kind of work is beneath them. It falls upon the commoners and the soldiers to do it." Eilin said quietly.

"Well, I always found a way to sneak out of my Royal duties and mingle with the commoners. Now that I think of it in retrospect I was never truly made to be a great warrior. It was not the profession I dreamt off, but I wanted to make my father proud you see." Othin pressed his lips.

"That takes a lot of courage to admit." Eilin noticed.

"Not really. After so many years of being a coward and running away from my responsibilities I can finally come to terms with my true nature." Othin said calmly.

Her brow flicked. "So your father wanted you to join the Royal Guards?"

"Northin was a teacher of the Elder Runes, an academic. He was the third son of Óksur, the great warrior. My grandfather was Telchar's son and he created a great legacy for himself, which of course was not enough to shadow the name of our legendary forefather. As you can see my father had some heavy shoes to fill, but he was not born a warrior. He developed a liking for the academics from a very young age and with the help of his mother he was able to pursue that profession to the dismay of  Óksur. My grandfather was disappointed by my father's choices and never stopped reminding him of his failure to become a great warrior. So when my father birthed me, the only son…the only child….my grandfather insisted that I should be raised to fulfil the great destiny of our legendary name. My father tried to raise me to be a warrior to his best ability, which was not enough. Since I was a child I was more interested in the artistic aspects of life. Drawing, reading, even making arrows for me was more of an artistic expression than a need to prove myself in combat. However as I grew older I didn't want to disappoint my father so I applied for the Royal Guards. I was rather fit and very good with archery so when I was accepted I felt happy. That profession offered me stability, a respectable name and a good carrier. Young as I was, I needed the affirmation that I could amount to something good, especially in the eyes of my father. I was mistaken as it was proven later in my life. I should have pursued what I always wanted to do since I was a child." Othin shrugged.

"Which was?" Eilin was unable to hide her enthusiasm at learning bits and pieces of her father's life.

"I wanted to be a tutor." Othin said with a wide smile.

Eilin raised both brows. "A teacher?"

"Hmmmm…." –Othin nodded proudly- "When I was a Dwarfling I used to sneak in the classroom when my dad was teaching and I sat in the corner, trying to scribble the runes he taught in a scroll. I admired him a lot you know, mainly because despite our obvious need for money he chose to teach in the poorest residential areas where people didn't have the privilege for a good education. He worked for the minimal wages and he didn't care because he was offering these Dwarflings a brighter future. I wish I could have done the same as him instead of pursuing something that I was never made to do."

"My grandfather sounds like a very honorable man." Eilin smiled.

"He was. He was also an incredible artist. He used to draw amazing paintings." Othin nodded.

"I used to draw a lot when I was younger too." -Eilin's face lit up- "But I haven't touched a canvas in a long while."

Othin emptied his bundle of birch wood upon a huge pile, with a grunt of relief. "Now you know where you got that talent from. Did you ever try to become a teacher?"

Eilin's eyes filled with grief. "Unfortunately no."

Othin's lips formed a sweet smile. "Well, it's never too late. Who knows? Maybe you are carrying your grandpa's uncanny ability to pass down knowledge."

Eilin's eyes glimmered. "Maybe I am."

Othin sighed and sat down heavily next to the wooden pile. He took a few moments to recollect. "I really wanted to make my father proud Eilin, but I failed. Not only him, but my kin, my King and finally you. My whole life is a testament that I shouldn't have pursued my father's dreams for me, but the call of my heart."

"Don't be so harsh on yourself. Not everyone is meant to be a warrior, but that doesn't make you any less of a good man." Eilin rejoined eagerly.

Othin gazed at her long before a smile brightened his face. "It means a lot that you are trying to make me feel better for all my wrong choices. I should be the one doing that, not you."

Eilin inhaled deeply. "Come on. Which one of us is infallible? Which one can declare that they never made a mistake? You think I am?"

"I know that my daughter is not the coward that I was." Othin eyes were piercing.

Eilin felt her stomach twisting and she cleared her throat that seemed suddenly too tight. "Come on, are you finished out here with all these logs?"

Othin looked at the long line of Dwarves that were still bringing in wood. "Not really….we have to do this until sun down."

Eilin clasped his sweaty hand. "You've done enough for one day. You will follow me to the Royal dining room and join me for lunch. How does that sound?"

His fingers tightened around her hand almost desperately. "The Royal dining room? I hardly think that is appropriate."

"It's the Queen's orders. Now get up." She said and pulled him.

"You want to have lunch with me?" Othin sounded incredulous.

"Yes, I want to hear more about my grandfather and his ability to teach. I want to know everything, really. I like listening to you talk." Eilin shrugged and her eyes lit up.

"But shouldn't we also notify the King? Shouldn't you be having lunch with your husband instead?" Othin's voice got tainted by a hint of fear.

Eilin pulled him along. "Oh, you have no idea how busy Thorin is all the time. He rarely if ever has lunch with me and the kids. Usually during the day he is either buried in his office under piles of scrolls, down under the last levels of the mining shafts checking on the Mithril veins, overlooking the furnaces or the water works, the training of the army, the royal guards, closeted up in a meeting with the Seven Lords or the four Chancellors, in the Throne Room taking care of diplomatic mishaps with our neighbors…."

Othin chuckled. "Okay I get it. So he won't be offended if we eat alone?"

Eilin beamed back at him. "Not at all, trust me."

Othin observed her carefully for a few moments before the deep lines around his eyes lifted up in a happy smile. "Then I would love to have lunch with you!" He was unable to hide the enthusiasm in his voice and that filled Eilin's heart with courage.

She took him up to the Royal dining room and asked Rhiannon to serve them dinner according to etiquette. She sat back and enjoyed Othin's embarrassment at being treated like a King and his confusion at the array of foods that was laid out in front of him. She delighted in him choosing her vegetable soup out of everything else and when they were both finished she relaxed back and enjoyed his stories about their family. Their conversation took them far into the afternoon and after Eilin escorted him back to his abode and wished him to have a good rest….she was unable to go back to her rooms to rest.

After everything she heard today about her family, something began eating her up inside. Something that made her walk pensively towards the lowest levels of the eastern residential caverns. The one that had the reputation of being the poorest area of Erebor with the majority of the residents being miners that worked in the deepest chasms close to the bowels of the Mountain.

Vel Taruhm turned out to be a much larger district than she had been expecting, with a booming market that was full of exceptional specimens of both jewelry and mining tools. Moreover it had a great selection of ales and fur coats. Eilin covered her head with her hood and sauntered around the market for a long time, enjoying the happy interactions of the people. Then she passed through the main plaza and delighted with a group of feisty Dwarflings that were playing with a leather ball. She observed quietly the mothers discussing with each other as they carried heavy baskets of fruits and bread. Everything looked normal, much like what she would have expected in the upper levels with the huge districts of Dhughwahrum and Gildirth.

However there was something distinctly different down here. The clothes of the Dwarrowdams were not as expensive and at several cases they looked frayed at the edges. The shoes of the Dwarflings had eaten up soles and the baskets of food looked weathered down. The waters of the fountains were not as clean and many lamps that hang from the top of the cavern were burnt out. She noticed the homes were not freshly painted and the pavements had many cracks. The only things that seemed to be in impeccable condition were the monstrous columns that were holding the roof in place. So this city was brimming with life, but there was something missing. Someone was not taking care of it as they should have. So Eilin crossed her hands and remained quietly observant of the people around while her mind was twisting around the words of her father. It took her a while to come to a decision, but when she did she knew exactly what to ask for and from whom.

* * *

 

"I knew you'd come!" Celebriel rushed to him.

"I like to keep my promises!" Durin rejoined as her embrace knocked him back a step or two.

Lis humphed and crossed her arms. Then she took care to look away towards the stunning waterfalls of Rivendell instead of that silly reunion.

"I really don't know how that young troll managed to convinced me that we had to come through this place. I hate Elves." Dain muttered under his breath.

"Now hush your mouth cousin and get ready to enjoy a hospitality like nothing you have ever experienced before." Dis pressed his muscular forearm.

"Who told you that I will stay here? I will organize the battalion outside the borders and block out every entrance and exit to this place until you are ready to depart. I am not going to stay in the midst of these sissies." Dain grumbled.

"Lower your voice unless you wish to destroy an alliance that your cousin went through hell to create." Dis' tone was austere.

"If it wasn't for Durin I wouldn't have taken this bloody detour." Dain spat.

"Now that you did, do me a favor and go along with it." Dis bit through her teeth and her nails dag into his arm.

Dain humphed and observed Thrarin who run after the wolf who was sniffing everyone. "Fine…I will do so, just for the sake of the children."

"Thank you." Dis exhaled in relief.

"Come on, follow me! I will show you the waterfalls and the beautiful bridges. You are going to love it so much here you will never want to leave!" Celebriel pulled Durin's hand.

"Wait a moment children. Shouldn't we first offer the proper greetings to the Lord and the Lady of this beautiful Realm?" Dis made an attempt to proper etiquette.

"Hi!" Durin raised his hand to Lord Elrond and then got yanked hard by Celebriel.

"Come on!" She shouted.

"Bye!" Durin laughed and followed the little stunning elf down the golden gilded steps.

Dis huffed and crossed her arms annoyed. "This boy has no idea how to act like a future King should."

"Much like his dad did when he was young then." -Balin noticed and then turned to Elrond- "Thank you for offering us your hospitality my Lord and excused the gruffness of that young fiery spirit."

Elrond offered a side-smile at his daughter and inclined his head. "I know your kin of old. There is no offense taken. I cannot but admire how charming the young Lord Durin is and how tall. He is almost the same height as Lord Balin and he is still so young."

Balin cleared his throat and stretched to his full height. "He isn't that tall. Come on now." He said looked at Dain side-ways.

"He is a whole bunch of trouble now and when he grows up he is going to become a tall bunch of trouble for all of us." Dain raised his brow.

Rhianaye took a couple of steps in front of her aunt picked up her dress and curtsied politely. "On behalf of my brothers, my aunt and my parents, thank you for your hospitality Sir."

Elrond looked at her with a proud smile. "Your manners are impeccable my young Princess. It is a pleasure to have you amidst us. Your father offered his hospitality to my daughter and I shall never forget that."

Rhianaye grabbed Thrárin's hand and pulled him closer. "Bow to the Lord." She whispered.

Thrarin did so clumsily. "Hello Sir. I am sorry but I need to get Thrór before he eats your deer!" He pointed erratically at his wolf.

Dis cupped her forehead. "This is a complete disaster. Forgive them my Lord."

Elrond laughed and so did Arwen. "I am sure our animals will be able to get away from your vicious wolf. In the meantime would you like to follow us? I am sure you would all appreciate some refreshments and rest for a while?"

Dis inclined her head. "That would be lovely, thank you."

Dain made to go towards the path that led to the exit, but Balin grabbed his arm. "Where do you think you are going cousin?"

"I cannot take all this exaggeration of beauty, serenity and discreet opulence. It will get on my nerves." Dain grumbled.

"Please don't deny us the opportunity to offer you our hospitality, great Dain Ironfoot." Arwen said softly.

Dain stopped in place and turned around. His brow creased and his eyes pierced the exquisite face of Elrond's daughter. "What?"

"Your fame proceeds you my Lord. I would love to hear some of our adventure if you are inclined to share them with me and my ladies." Arwen bowed.

Dain cleared his throat and flared his chest. "Well…." He stammered.

Arwen took a few steps towards him and offered him her hand. "Will you escort me to the plaza my Lord?"

Dain looked at her with a deep scowl and then at Dis who was smiling knowingly. He coughed and stretched his neck. Then hesitantly he engaged Arwen's elbow and followed her grumpily. "Of course, I mean…sure…" He stammered.

When they left Dis exchanged a guarded smile with Balin. "My Lord your daughter has an exceptional way to pacify even the grumpiest Dwarf. I have never seen anyone handling the fierce Lord Dain so skillfully."

Elrond smiled and raised his hand. "Arwen, I am proud to say is an exceptional woman. Now would you like to follow me?"

Everyone filed up behind him with the last one being Lis, whose eyes were stuck on the road that Durin took with Celebriel.

* * *

 

"I was so sure I was going to see you again soon!" Celebriel poked Durin's chest playfully.

He took a step back and got distracted by a bee that was buzzing close to his nose. "How?"

"Because you love me!" Celebriel crossed her small hands in front of her silver dress and looked at him with those stunning violet eyes that seemed to have a magic of their own.

Durin waved his hand in front of his face to chase away the bee. "I don't love you. I don't love any girl."

Celebriel instead of feeling disheartened, laughed lightly and twisted a finger around one of his black curls. "You do love me, you just don't know it yet."

Durin blushed from the top of his forehead down to his chin, but he didn't make an effort to push her away. "Look, you are my friend…like Lis is. I don't love you, but I do like you a lot."

Celebriel placed her palm on his shoulder and pushed him a step back. "You came all the way here to see me."

"Because I promised to do so and I like to keep my promises. Besides you helped me so much in Thranduil's Realm. I will never forget that. You are my friend and I like to honor my friendships." Durin flared his shoulders proudly.

"Good! Me too! So how do you feel now that you are here with me?" Celebriel's eyes lit up as she looked at his face.

"Uhm…weird, because you are talking about love and silly things." Durin cringed.

Celebriel pressed her lips and shook her head. "You really have no idea how to treat a lady, do you?"

"I don't want to learn!" Durin muttered and groaned when the tree bark stopped his retreat.

"I think you do."

"I thought you wanted to show me the beautiful waterfalls and the enchanted forest, not teach me how to treat girls." Durin tried a formidable scowl.

"You are so handsome when you are broody. Has anybody ever told you that?" Celebriel's eyes were eating him up.

"Now you sound ridiculous." Durin pouted angrily and crossed his arms.

She wrapped her small hands around his forearms and pulled them apart. "I am going to teach you how to act around ladies properly. Okay?"

Durin grunted and looked away bothered.

"I will take that as a yes." -Celebriel placed her finger thoughtfully on her lips and looked around her- "Ah, that's it." -She muttered and then hopscotched towards a bush that was full of huge white roses- "First we need a flower." She said and tried to take one, but the thorn pricked her forefinger and she pulled away with a hiss.

Durin rushed over to her and clasped her hand. He turned it around and looked at the blood on her fingertip. "Now wasn't that silly? We could have been touring the waterfalls right now and then maybe we could have gone to eat something since I am starving and instead we are here looking at your stupid finger bleeding."

Celebriel sulked and tried to pull her hand free. "I don't want you to look at my bloody finger! Give me my hand back! You are truly crude and you are starting to piss me off!"

"Oh, stop it." Durin said and then he did the unthinkable. He pulled her hand up to his mouth and sucked the blood off her fingertip.

Celebriel's lips dropped open and her enchanting eyes got lost in his azure ones for what felt like an eternity.

Durin cleared his throat and the color mounted on his cheeks again. He removed her finger from his mouth and looked away. "There, now it won't get infected." He whispered.

Celebriel cradled her hand on her bosom speechless and was unable to unglue her eyes from him.

Durin sensed the intensity of her stare burning him and he felt even more uncomfortable than he did when he acted so stupidly towards her finger. So he did the next best thing he could to alleviate that awkward silence between them. He went to the rose bush and drew his dagger. Then he cut the rose and returned to her. "It is best to use a knife to get roses. Their thorns are quite troublesome, right?" He muttered as he took care to clean off all the thorns.

Celebriel closed her mouth and her cheeks became crimson. "Right." Her voice was barely heard and she caressed the tip of her wounded finger gently.

Durin cleared his throat again and checked the rose carefully before offering it to her. "There you go."

Celebriel hesitated. "Are you giving me a flower?"

"I am giving you the flower you wanted to use in order to teach me how to be a gentleman." Durin shrugged.

A ghostly smile appeared on Celebriel's lips as she reached out and took the flower, but along with it she trapped Durin's hand under hers. "Thank you." She stepped up to him.

"You are welcome." Durin said without making a try to pull away from her.

Celebriel kept firm hold of his hand along with the flower and came up on the balls of her feet. Her nose almost touched his. "You do know how to treat a lady." She whispered.

A deep scowl formed upon Durin's clear brow. "Don't you think you are too close to me right now?" He muttered.

Celebriel rested her hand on his chest and closed her eyes as her young lips offered a feathery touch upon his.

Durin felt the freshness of her breath and the softness of her lips upon his mouth and suddenly his stomach twisted painfully and exploded with myriads of bubbles.

Celebriel pulled away slowly and looked up at him. "Wow." She whispered.

"What was that?" Durin scowled trying to get a grip on that weird helix that was twisting in his stomach and was making him nauseous.

"I think I just kissed you." Celebriel seemed as surprised as he was.

"Why did you do that?" Durin murmured.

"I don't know." -Celebriel said honestly, but a ghostly smiled appeared on her lips- "I have never kissed a boy before. Have you?"

Durin coughed and drew away. "I have never kissed a boy before either." He stammered.

Celebriel giggled and cupped her mouth. "No, silly. Have you ever kissed a girl before?"

Durin's cheeks blushed and he passed his hand through his hair awkwardly. "Only my sister on the cheek and I never liked it."

Celebriel smelled the rose and looked at him coyly. "Did you like the kiss I gave you?"

"It was weird." Durin rubbed his cheeks and started pacing in front of the bridge, not knowing what to do with himself at that moment. The helix was still bothering his stomach and now he was not in the mood to eat at all.

Celebriel walked up to him and clasped his hand.

"Don't kiss me again!" Durin warned her.

"Why?" -Celebriel frowned- "Did you hate it?"

Durin found himself even more confused. "No…it was…okay…but it made my stomach ache."

Celebriel frowned. "Wow, mine too! It feels tight." She said in a hushed tone.

Durin rolled his eyes in relief. "So it wasn't just me then? I am not falling sick?"

"No, unless we are both falling sick." Celebriel said thoughtfully.

"So now we can't be friends, right?" Durin was unable to hide the sadness in his voice.

"Why not?" Celebriel seemed confused.

"Because we kissed and my friends say that when a girl and a boy kiss they stop being friends." -Durin shrugged- "I really don't want to stop being your friend."

Celebriel smiled and stepped up to him again. "No silly, now we are more than friends. We are girlfriend and boyfriend." She said and unclasped a beautiful necklace in the shape of a star from her neck.

"You mean like my mom and dad?" Durin's brows lifted up to his hairline.

Celebriel nodded. "Yes, would you like that?"

"I don't know." –Durin said honestly and then looked at the necklace- "What is this?"

Celebriel place the necklace on him and clasped it. Then she straightened it up and cleared some of his long black locks away from his shoulders. "My token of love for you. If you ever take it off, then that will mean that you don't want to be my boyfriend anymore." Celebriel smelled her rose again and her cheeks blushed.

"When did I agree to become your boyfriend in the first place?" Durin scowled.

"When you took care of my finger, when you offered me this flower and when you accepted my kiss. There is no point denying it." Celebriel said matter-of-factly.

Durin raised his brows. "And we have to kiss a lot?"

"Not if we don't want to." Celebriel shrugged.

"Do we have to hold hands?" Durin rejoined.

"That'd be nice." Celebriel smiled.

"Okay. And we will continue being friends?" Durin asked timidly.

"We are much more than friends now. We are going to take care of each other. We will always have each other's back. Would you like that?" She said and offered him her hand.

He took it and pressed it. "That sounds nice, but let's not kiss too much, okay?"

Celebriel beamed up to him. "Okay! Come on, let's go to the waterfalls, you are going to love it!"

Durin smiled widely and allowed her to lead him, feeling the previous nausea slowly fading away. Neither he nor Celebriel noticed Lis leaning against a tree with her face full of tears. When they were gone Lis gathered up her courage and started walking back as slowly as she could, so she wouldn't cross paths with them.

That is when Rhianaye popped out from the side of a tall bush and aligned with her. "I knew it! You have a thing for my brother!"

Lis stopped and dried up her tears. "What are you talking about my Lady?"

"All that acting up you were doing around him in the Shire, that slap you gave him. Everything pointed out that you have a thing for him." Rhianaye crossed her arms behind her back and shrugged.

Lis sniffled and straightened her shoulders proudly. "You are wrong!"

"Then what were you doing here following him around?" Rhianaye raised her brows.

"I am Prince Durin's bodyguard. I have to protect him." Lis replied firmly.

"He is not in any danger. He was mooching about with that She-elf…yack." -Rhianaye shook her shoulders in disgust- "No, you were following him because you have fallen for him. Admit it. That is why you were crying. Because Celebriel kissed him…yack." She cringed.

Lis countenance took a plunge, but she remained silent.

Rhianaye nodded and engaged her arm. "Come on, let's go get some lemon tea and stop worrying about my brother. He is an absolute dork."

Lis followed Rhianaye half-heartedly. "I wouldn't call him a dork…"

"Well, he is absolutely oblivious of how many girls like him in Erebor. You are not the only one. Celebriel was audacious enough to give him the first kiss, but I have noticed what's going on. Many girls gawk at him, but he is completely stupid." Rhianaye snorted.

"He is too young." Lis tried to excuse him.

"Well we agree on that one. He may be very tall and well build for his age in comparison to his peers, but he is still a silly boy at heart. However he is not too young to kiss Celebriel. Nah, he is as unsophisticated as they come. No refinement whatsoever despite mom's tries to shape him up. Thrarin will become a much better gentleman than Durin." Rhianaye scoffed.

"Prince Durin will become an amazing King and he will be the personalization of sophistication one day. He carries the blood of the Deathless inside him." Lis frowned.

"Oh, you are really serious about him, aren't you?" Rhianaye's eyes pierced her.

Lis shook her head. "No…I am ….just….no.”

“Whoever said the Deathless was sophisticated with women?” Rhianaye raised her brow in a mannerism that was so much like Thorin.

Lis found herself shrugging at that. “I don’t know, I supposed...”

“He may have been the first and the most legendary of our forefathers, he may have created an empire, but no one knows if he was any good with women. Durin is really awkward with girls and besides there are far more handsome boys in Erebor than him.”

Lis raised her brows and pursed her lips. “Hardly.”

Rhianaye slapped her forehead with a snort. “I really cannot understand what you see in him.”

“You are his sister.” Lis tilted her head.

Rhianaye grabbed her arm tightly. “Look around more and that will make you forget my immature brother.”

“You call him too immature, yet you are a few moments younger than him.” Lis smiled.

“I am a girl and we think differently. Isn’t that right?” Rhianaye’s smirk was devilish.

Lis exhaled disheartened. “It matters not what I feel at the end of the day my Lady. Prince Durin has chosen wisely. Lady Celebriel is of noble blood and belongs to a legendary Elven family."

Rhianaye laughed out loud. "Our family doesn't work that way. My dad fell in love with my mom when she was his maiden. I don't think when Durin grows older he'd choose a wife according to rank. Neither will Thrarin nor me for that matter!"

Lis looked at the Princess intensely. "However what happened here today…"

"Was childish silliness. I've kissed Hávarthur, Durin's best friend and no one knows." -Rhianaye whispered- "But if you want to know the truth, the one I like the most is Lord Servin's son. Even though we want to be friends though we keep away from each other because our fathers don't have the best relationship. Something happened in the past between them, but I don't know what. He is such a good boy and I like him a lot. The fact that I kissed Hávarthur doesn't mean that I will also marry him. I’d like to marry Suthvari to tell you the truth, but fat chance of him approaching me since he is scared of his father." Rhianaye blushed.

A ghostly smile appeared on Lis' lips. "You are too young to speak about marriage."

“So is Durin.” Rhianaye’s face lit up.

Lis laughed lightly with a nod. “I understand what you are saying.”

"Good! Now promise not to tell my brothers or my dad! Especially about Suthvari." Rhianaye scowled in an afterthought.

"Of course I will not." -Lis shook her head- “So what were you doing hiding in the bushes then?"

"I was stalking my brother so I can have something to hold against him in a future argument." Rhianaye grinned.

Lis was unable to hold back her laugh at that.

Rhianaye clasped her hand and pulled her. "Come on, let's go get some tea and forget about that blockhead!"

Lis smiled timidly and nodded. "Okay."

* * *

 

"Uncle we need to get directly involved in this dispute. We cannot allow Saruman to do whatever he wishes in Isengard. The Rohirrim are our allies." Fili said.

"And Saruman is part of the white council, to which I have pledged my allegiance. They need to figure this out between them. I cannot take sides. I am an ally to both parties." Thorin rebuked and pushed the scroll he had just signed aside. Then he open up a big envelop with various documents inside and started shuffling through them.

"Gandalf is coming over to see you." Fili crossed his arms.

"To ask me to intervene with Saruman's plans." Thorin huffed bothered.

"And he is not wrong. You need to take a stand." Fili rebuked.

"Against the white council? Gandalf is part of the same allegiance!" Thorin glared at him.

"Stand at the side of your allies!" Fili raised his voice.

Thorin closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "We are going around in circles. Let Gandalf come. I shall deal with him. In the meantime the Northern Kingdome will not intervene in the dispute between Isengard and the Rohirrim. That stronghold is still under the legal ownership of Gondor. I am not getting in the middle of this dispute."

"That is your final decision?" Fili insisted.

"Yes!" Thorin thundered.

"Very well, I shall inform the delegation, but I think you are mistaken Uncle." Fili scowled.

Thorin's brow arched austerely.

"I believe there is something going with Saruman. Why would he insist in taking command over Isengard? Why would he want to have such a strong hold over Gondor in the first place?"

"So he can exorcise the damned Dunlendings who have taken over the fortress and keep launching attacks towards the Rohirrim maybe?" Thorin pursed his lips.

"Then help the Rohirrim reclaim it and drive away the Dunlendings yourself. I could lead a battalion there this moment and I'd have Isengard free by morning. Then we can give it to the care of Rohan." Fili said eagerly.

"And why not to the care of Saruman?" Thorin raised his brow.

"I don't trust that wizard." Fili said flatly and crossed his arms.

Thorin exhaled roughly.

"Do you think I am mistaken? If so why are you still discussing this with me and you haven't send me away yet?" Fili loomed over his uncle.

Thorin looked at him solemnly.

"You know there is something wrong here! Don't deny it!" Fili said firmly.

That is when the door knocked and they both looked at it angrily. "Come." Thorin thundered.

Eilin opened it and peeped inside. "Am I interrupting?"

Fili pulled away and rubbed his temples. "No, come in. I was just leaving." He said and picked up the signed scrolls.

"We are not over this discussion." Thorin pointed at him with his quill.

Fili paused at the door. "I am glad we are not." He said and with a deep bow to Eilin he closed it behind him.

Thorin leaned his head on his hands and closed his eyes. "Hey beautiful." He muttered.

Eilin rounded his desk and then sat in front of him. "Kâ'gilizu ajal?" (Can I talk to you for a moment?)

His brows creased ever so slightly. "Amalê." (My pleasure)

Eilin leaned over and tucked a long lock of hair behind his shoulder. Then her fingers stroked his jawline for a few thoughtful moments. "Sasakhabi abnâmul." (You look handsome.)

Thorin's face lit up despite him feeling exhausted by his argument with Fili. "Akhminruki astû…" (Thank you) -He reciprocated and clasped her hand - "And you look absolutely stunning, but why are we speaking in our sacred language and not the common one?"

"Thufunabmi mat Khuzdulê." (I need to practice my Khuzdul). Eilin leaned her forearms on his shoulders and caressed his cheeks.

"Why is that?" He looked at her intensely.

"I will tell you in a minute, but first tell me if you liked the food I send up to you?" Eilin looked at his empty plate.

"The food was great, but why didn't you invite me to eat with you and your father?" He smirked.

Eilin pulled back surprised. "Did that really bother you? I knew you were too busy today with all those meetings…" She hurried.

"No, it didn't bother me." Thorin snorted.

She punched his shoulder. "Stop teasing me."

"Did you have a nice time with him?" Thorin said and pushed her shapely hip aside so he could concentrate on the huge folder that was overflowing with documents.

Eilin scooted her bottom back in place again, thus pushing his document away. "I had a long discussion with him about his family. It was very interesting to learn so much about his father and grandfather." -Thorin tried to gain access to his scrolls again, but her hand covered his and pushed them even further away- "And I'd like you to pay attention to me right now and not at your scrolls."

"I am paying attention to you, I just have a lot of work to go over." Thorin said exasperated.

"Your work never ends. Besides what I have to tell you is about work too." Eilin said with a coy smile and placed her feet at each side of his elaborate chair. Then she flared her chest out to him and flicked her brow.

That coaxed a knowing smile from his lips. "Okay, I am listening." He drawled.

"You are giving me the eye again." She raised her brow.

"How can I not? Look at you…." He pointed at her thighs that were spread wide open in front of his face.

She lowered her legs and pointed a finger at him. "Forget about sex…that was not the point I was trying to make. I just tried to gain your absolute attention."

"Well you have it." He murmured.

"How much do you know about Vel Taruhm?" Eilin raised her brow.

"The miner district at the deepest levels of the Eastern caves?" Thorin frowned.

"Yes."

"It is one of the underprivileged districts of Erebor, mainly inhabited by miners and their families, but it has a rather booming market for second hand cheap jewelry and furs. Not one of the best areas under the Mountain, but the families living in it are honest and hard-working. The miners that have abodes there are usually the ones that go first into the unexplored chasms, straight through the heart of the mountain in order to open the road for the rest. Very brave fellows." Thorin pursed his lips.

"How much do you know about the educational facilities in that district?" Eilin continued.

"From what I am being informed by the Chancellor they have a basic school system established and enough teachers to cover the needs of the community." Thorin rejoined.

Eilin humphed and crossed her arms.

Thorin opened up his documents and pointed at them. "Now can I continue with my work?" He gave her a careful side-glance.

Eilin walked casually behind him and leaned her crossed arms on his shoulders. "I went to Vel Taruhm today and I talked with the Chancellor. I saw the school myself."

Thorin frowned and tried to look at her above his shoulder. "Why did you do that for?"

"Thorin that school needs more teachers, they just don't have enough money to pay for them." Eilin's voice fell.

"Very well, I will sign a new funding for that district, but it isn't your job to ask me for resources. That's the job of the Chancellor." Thorin's tone was austere.

"The Chancellor never wished to ask you for funding and neither did I for that matter, but now that you mentioned it that is not a bad idea at all." Eilin kissed the side of his neck.

Thorin's exhalation was frustrated. "Tell me what it is you need of me. You are coaxing me without getting to the point."

"I want that funding first and foremost, so we can help them upgrade their school facilities." Eilin propped her chin on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his chest.

Thorin sighed deeply. "Very well. Consider it done."

"And your permission for me to go and work as a teacher there." Eilin added quickly.

Thorin paused and then turned around. "What?" He looked bewildered.

Eilin sat on his lap and straightened up his vest. "Do you think my knowledge in Khuzdul is sufficient enough to teach the very young Dwarflings?"

"I suppose so." He stumbled.

Eilin's finger twisted around one of his silver locks. "I talked with the Chancellor and with the school principal who is a very kind Dwarrowdam and she told me that I can work there on a six month trial period with the very young children."

"You are the Queen…" Thorin seemed unable to grasp what she was asking him.

"And teaching is beneath the Queen's obligations? You are a warrior and a sword-smith. Are those professions beneath you?" Eilin tilted her head.

"Of course not, that is not what I meant." Thorin shook his head baffled.

"Look I really want to try my hand at teaching these younglings. I can start by teaching the basics of our sacred language and also drawing. You liked my drawings, didn't you? You told me I was very talented." Eilin smiled at him sweetly and smoothed her palms over his cheeks.

"You are, but what in the name of Mahal came over you? You don't have to work…" Thorin rejoined

"And what does that mean? That I have to stay at home all day doing nothing?" Eilin pursed her lips.

"You have so many obligations, what are you talking about? You have to look after our court, our children, our home, you are training so many ladies in archery…."

"I learn how to knit and how to deliver babies of other Dwarrowdams, while in the meantime I constantly fall pregnant by you and I embellish the throne with more heirs." Eilin waved her hands around dismissively.

"You make it sound like you hate having my babies." Thorin's face contorted.

Eilin licked her lips and her nose touched his. "I love having your babies, taking care of our children, teaching archery and being your wife, but I need more. I think I can offer more to our city."

Thorin's features mellowed down. "By becoming a teacher…"

"Why not? Is it so wrong of me to want to give this a try? I want to pass down my knowledge to the younglings of our kin." She pecked his lips softly.

He exhaled and closed his eyes. "You are passing down your knowledge to our children, isn't that enough?"

"You don't want me to work." She sounded disheartened.

He wrapped his arms around her waist. "I want you to do whatever pleases you. I just need to make sure all this will not exhaust you. You are pregnant, you need to take it easy."

"I will be inside a classroom teaching boring runes. I am not going to be out in the woods hunting." She smirked and her lips ghosted his gently.

Another long exhalation came from him and his hands planed up her sides slowly. "What initiated this need all of a sudden? Can you at least tell me that?"

Eilin exhaled and propped her forehead on his temple. "My father told me that we come from a family of tutors."

Thorin's arms tightened around her. "Ah, that makes sense."

Eilin nodded. "I want to try this Thorin please. I want to see if I can do it. Deep down I know I will do well in this profession, if I am only given the chance."

Thorin tunneled his long fingers through her hair and placed an open mouth kiss on her neck that raised all the hair in her body. "Then do it."

Eilin felt her heart elating and she pulled back. "Really?!" She yelled happily.

"Really." Thorin smirked.

Eilin stood up and grabbed him by the lapels. "Will you sign the order for me to start my trial period as a teacher there?!"

"Effective immediately, if you promise to stop when your pregnancy progresses too much." Thorin rejoined sternly.

Eilin clasped his cheeks and offered him a sloppy kiss and a yelp of pleasure. "Thank you!" –Then she paused and gazed at him intensely- "How about the funding?"

"Consider it done. The Queen shall deliver the documents to them. However there is a condition." Thorin's lips formed a lopsided smile of delight.

Eilin stiffened. "Name it!"

Thorin's hands came down to squeeze her bottom appreciatively. "I will make sure no one does any favors for you. After the sixth month trial period you will either earn your position as teacher with your value or you will be fired. If you do land a job as a tutor you are going to use part of your payment in order to offer food and other commodities to our home and our children like any other working Dwarrowdam of the city."

Eilin flared her shoulders proudly and then gave him an official salute. "Yes Sir!"

Thorin laughed. "Very well then. Congratulations on your new teaching position in Vel Taruhm. May you be prudent enough to teach our younglings wisely."

"I love you!" Eilin squeaked and sat on his lap again so quickly his chair almost toppled over. She wrapped her arms behind his neck and then opened up her mouth to deliver him a passionate kiss that blew his willpower to smithereens. At that moment she was the happiest she had ever felt in ages. She had the opportunity to try out her abilities and see what she was worth outside of the unapproachable cloak of the Queen of the North.

* * *

 

It was far later in the night that Eilin stood up from their bed and threw over her naked body her airy nightgown. As it slid above her thigh her fingers caressed the small bruise that Thorin's hand had left there during their passionate love making. She exhaled feeling thoroughly sedated and deeply satisfied, both by the fiery coupling with her husband this evening, but also by his decision to allow her to teach. Tomorrow she was going to be up before the bells would toll the first call of the morning in order to get ready. She was going to try her best and make her husband, her children, her father, but above all herself proud.

All her life she was trying to find her identity and after the talk with Othin she now felt that she was closer than ever to finding it. She walked around the bed and leaned over Thorin who was sleeping heavily. Her fingers feathered over his firm behind and then drew the silken sheet up to his waist. She then pushed away his long thick curls and placed a soft kiss on the tattoo of Durin's crown that was between his strong shoulder-blades. Then her finger slid softly from his temple down to his jawline and an affectionate smile brightened her face. "I love you, my heart." She whispered.

Then she wrapped the nightgown around her body and walked out into the balcony. There she allowed the soft breeze of the night to blow her long red curls away from her face and she felt so serene that she never wanted this night to end. She remained out there bemusing over their lands with a bright smile adorning her beautiful face for a long time and when Roac landed next to her hand she looked at him happily.

"Tell me the news King of the Crows." She whispered and leaned down.

Roac hopped on the railing and whispered in her ear what Eilin wished to hear. Then the crow tried to look inside the room.

Eilin gazed at her sleeping husband adoringly. Then she turned to Roac once more. "Don't worry. Your King is well taken care of my Master. Just make sure my children are well taken care of too and don't forget what we said about the surprise to the King. It is very-very important."

Roac replied to her with a loud caw and flew away. Eilin observed it with a wistful smile for several moments before re-entering the room and snuggling lovingly next to Thorin.

 


End file.
